Not bad at all- really liking this MC's philosophical dives, just as long as it doesn't dig too deeply and interrupt the flow of the story it should be perfect.
Though I'm really dying to know just what is going on with the lack of Naruto/Possible Naruko? in the story. Seems pretty crazy to have the titular character missing, but I'll just sit back and wait for everything to be revealed as time goes on.
It's good to see that Sasuke's memories and emotions are still here and they are important, I also wonder what will happen when he meets Itachi, even if the SI has a more stable control and mind, meeting Itachi will cause a lot of emotions very uncontrollable.
I love the uncertainty. MC can't trust anyone. Third Hokage and Orochimaru's roles could be reversed. Itachi could actually be evil. Maybe it's one of those bad fanon worlds where fourth Hokage is evil and comes back with his evil wife and kids. Maybe Kurama is a big titty Fox girl. Heck, it could even be a Konoha bashing fic and Sasuke hasn't met the "civilian council" yet.
Edit: there is a lovely oneshot where one of the above scenario's take place. Here
Really liking the story so far but the ending of the last chapter was clunky, and a very mixed message from Shikaku.
On one hand he says that he can tell Sasuke stories about his father and that Sasuke should follow the Will of Fire...and then he threatens to kill a fellow Konoha citizen. A child whose family was just massacred.
In retrospect, based on feedback, probably should've ended chapter 7 with this, but was wanting it as an interlude. Meh. Enjoy regardless
Interlude
"See that you don't."
It left a chill along my spine. I turned towards him and could see a dark look in his eyes. I was...confused to say the least. I understood his concern somewhat, but still, to threaten an eight year old with death. There was something deeper at play here. This was not normal nor was it something I would have expected.
"You would threaten a child?" I asked after a moment. Shikaku's eyes glowed with an unholy light and I felt myself shiver as he spoke in a tone unlike the man I had just had dinner with.
"You're no child. You're anathema. An abomination born from an unholy union of worlds."
I swallowed as I stared at Shikak-no. This was not him. There was something eldritch in his eyes and I sensed that I was speaking with something other.
"I didn't choose this."
"Choices matter little in the game of gods. All that matters is that you are," Shikaku's voice had taken on a guttural tone as the creature spoke through his mouth.
"Why do you care if I walk the path of hatred?" I asked after a moment despite the cold sweat dripping down my back.
"Power is an odd thing, child," IT hissed, "It is a warning. If you awaken the mangekyou before it is time, worlds will shift and gods will perish, for this world is but a lynchpin in a larger game of existence. DO NOT AWAKEN THAT FOUL POWER."
Shadows rose from the grounds. Monsters of the existential ether snarled in an arcane language that was beyond my understanding. Hundreds of red sharingan eyes turned towards my shaking form.
I ran.
I let my chakra flow through my body as I rushed down suddenly empty streets. The creatures nipped at my heels as my legs burned from the exertion. I was moving faster than I ever had before. Still, the creatures chased me. Hunting. Hungry.
It began to rain and I screamed in agony as the drops hissed against my bare skin. Where the drops hit my skin, boils arose out of my flesh and calloused into smooth pearls. The pearls dropped from my body and filled the silence, for the rain made no noise, with dancing laughter as they hit the stone paved streets.
I slipped on a stone and I noticed then that they were not pearls. They were eyes. Sharingan eyes staring at me. Accusing me. Mocking that which I was not.
I screamed as the creatures tore into my flesh.
<-End Arrival Arc.
This has to be a genjutsu, or forget what happened to Naruto, something is VERY WRONG with this universe, Sasuke might end up screaming that he would rather have JUST fight like someone like Madara than this shit.
Well, that shinigami from Narutoverse always did hint at the setting having an element of cosmic horror even before the Juubi and Kaguya were a thing. Some of the entities Pein utilized with some of his Jutsu always gave me a sense that Narutoverse was always more terrifying when you really look under the hood. This is a lovely problem for Sasuke, with all that said.
Ah, good. The SI had a great deal going for him. Maturity, early start date, power, knowledge. But now, danger and stakes are reintroduced. The protagonist, and more importantly, the audience, don't know what the rules are. It slid very naturally from something that Shikaku might say, to this new thing.
Wait, this was an interlude, but it was from the perspective of Sasuke? Does that mean it's more of a dream than anything real (obviously it's not real, but I could be genjutsu), or is it something more out there?
Yeah... I think that this ain't it. Randomly removing Naruto was an odd but mildly interesting change. Whatever this is? It took my stretched suspension of disbelief and said, "But what if I kept going?" and didn't stop pushing. I'm sure the author is going somewhere with this. But this ain't for me, that much is for sure.
Basically a big 'too soon' after the revelation of Naruto's possible non-existence.
Yeah... I think that this ain't it. Randomly removing Naruto was an odd but mildly interesting change. Whatever this is? It took my stretched suspension of disbelief and said, "But what if I kept going?" and didn't stop pushing. I'm sure the author is going somewhere with this. But this ain't for me, that much is for sure.
Basically a big 'too soon' after the revelation of Naruto's possible non-existence.
Thanks for constructive feedback Sorry it isn't for you, but thanks for reading. I recognized this choice is a bit of a risk in story telling. Hopefully it pays off for those who stick with it.
Personally have always enjoyed cosmic horror and like to add elements of that to my stories. We will see.
Thanks for constructive feedback Sorry it isn't for you, but thanks for reading. I recognized this choice is a bit of a risk in story telling. Hopefully it pays off for those who stick with it.
Personally have always enjoyed cosmic horror and like to add elements of that to my stories. We will see.
Cosmic horror wouldn't exactly be out of place in Naruto, just that someone started using chakra and punched cosmic horror right in the face!
Just that this scene feels, unreal? out of place? since even if it is a genjustu there would still be the question of who and why would they do this to Sasuke.
A hallucination doesn't seem to be, Sasuke outside of a few emotional moments seems pretty stable, a nightmare could be with him reliving the scene with uncertainties and fears altering the scene.
Naruto not being present could be considered that either he didn't survive the attack on the village or they are being smart and hiding Naruto and training him properly, but cosmic horror even more appearing so soon raises A LOT more questions and that seeing the scene Sasuke would have done running away like this, we can see the adult ninjas investigating and wondering what in the sage's name happened here.
Just found this story and got caught up. I enjoyed it a lot. This is a really interesting direction to go. Nearly all SI fics glance over or outright ignore the implications and existential horror their existence raises. I have no idea where this is going, but I like the writing, the philosophy, and now the pinch of dread.
Just the philosophy and thoughtfulness would have drawn me in by themselves, honestly. But now I'm really looking forward to seeing where this is going. Genjutsu or cosmic horror - I'll take either, please.
Yeah, this was a bit much. Mainly because it shows that higher beings can possess people, which just raises more questions and makes anything that happens from now on flimsy. Feels like a potential shark jump, but it could lead to a more interesting story. Too soon to tell.
Also: this isn't an interlude, and it being termed that way is confusing as it's still Sasuke, which takes a bit to grasp. It's just a chapter.
