Hmm. Point. I was sort of thinking of some models of cars with really good noise isolation that actually have a microphone in the engine compartment to allow the driver to hear some of the engine noise instead of none.

Also, I wasn't thinking fake sounds like a recording of an ocean, but rather synthetic sounds like an audio equivalent to a car dashboard.

The ideal would presumably be microphones stuck to various pieces of critical equipment; possibly with a different mix depending on what you're responsible for, perhaps with the ability to highlight specific pickups.

That actually sounds kind of useful come to think of it; if they're cheap enough, a pickup near main bearings or anything specifically known to start making funny noises before it asplodes sounds like something useful to add to the suite of more common sensors, probably fed to some sort of pre-filter to feed potentially funny noises to an engineer.

On a big enough ship with enough equipment or awkward enough layout it might be worthwhile just to save time walking around.
On a ship where a small hole could see everyone breathing vacuum within a few hours, and everyone is essentially an untrained civilian engineer, even that would be too restrictive. It might work on a military vessel, or one that is still within it's design lifetime. But the Quarians are still using ships that were originally built on their home planet, and they don't have a dry dock to park the ship in and check every single run and capacitor.

I would imagine that the trained Engineers (from the Quarian's POV not the rest of the galaxy) have constant monitoring of the important systems, like the drive, power plant, and core. But all of those other little systems that are just an annoyance on a normal ship, but could kill you on a ship you can never truly service. Those are the things that everyone gets used to the background noise of, like an old house with all it's creaks and groans. When something changes, they call the engineers to have a look.
 
Chapter 23 - Chasing Leads - part 4 - Travel
Chapter 23 - Chasing Leads - part 4 - Travel

After the class on ships doctrine and equipment Tali looks longingly at the corridor that would take her to Engineering, instead she reluctantly follows Jane onto the lift. As they're slowly ascending between the two floors she asks, "Captain, why is this lift so slow?"

Jane smiles and pulls open a hatch, "I had this very conversation myself. They're using screws to provide structural support and motive power just in case there's a power failure. Apparently hydraulics have their own issues. How do your people deal with this sort of thing?"

Tali carefully looks inside the hatch to see the inner workings of the lift, "We use mass effect fields and magnetic propulsion."

Jane nods, "I can see that working on a ship that's unlikely to ever be exposed to magic. However this ship was designed in conjunction with the Systems Alliance so there's always the possibility that the mass effect fields would fail. If this was a purely magical ship they'd just be a couple of hatches that were expanded as needed so that unshrinkable items could be levitated through them. They also have a lot of stairs."

Tali pulls her head away from the hatch and looks at Jane, "Why stairs and not ladders?"

Jane shakes her head, "Why don't you treat that as a research question. Anyway, we've arrived and you've got an inventory to write up and requisition forms to prepare, and I've got drills to oversee on deck."

Tali straightens up and gives a Quarian salute, "Yes Captain!"

#




As an alert flashes up on her HUD to inform her of the midday break, Tali leans back in the chair and blinks her eyes several times to try and relieve the pressure that's built up from trying to understand the requisition forms. To one side is her magitech dataslate, that she's been using to try and look up the human definitions for the various words on the form with varying levels of success. Her own omnitool is running a comprehensive translation program with the last 10 words still visible. The topmost word being 'set', and the second being 'lead'.

Shaking her head she pushes herself to her feet and walks over to her cabinet. As her hand grasps the door handle she says, "Ugh, what are you thinking Tali. Am I really considering taking my faceplate off just to be able to fill out these forms easier?"

A glance down at the pages of words that the human word 'set' could possibly mean confirms that, yes she really is going to face this just so it all makes sense. Taking a deep breath, Tali opens the door to her cabinet and walks into the decontamination chamber just inside.

Once the chamber is finished cycling, and the inner door unlocks she takes a moment to perform the most sensitive atmospheric scan her omnitool will do. When the results come back she marvels at the fact it comes back with less than one part per million for any detectable particles above 10nm in size. Hesitantly, she takes touches the command that releases her face plate, and then reaches up to take it off for only the 2nd time in her adult life.

After she's leant against the wall for several minutes to get her breathing and heart rate back under control, Tali runs the atmospheric scan a second time and anxiously waits for the scan to finish. As soon as the new results come up, she feeds them into a realtime monitoring program and sets it to alert her if the particle count rises above those levels, or new particles are detected. As soon as the program starts running an alert starts flashing in the HUD of her faceplate.

Nervously she lifts the faceplate closer, only to sigh in relief as it's just a high power usage warning. Tapping a couple of icons brings up a projected battery life monitor that shows she's got around an hour before the tool reverts to a low power mode.

Over the next few minutes Tali carefully opens each door between her and the entertainment centre, before sticking her arm through the door for several seconds to check the air on the other side.

When she finally sits down with the leather cap in her hands she reaches into a pouch and pulls out an injector that contains a relaxant. "I think that this counts as a necessary use for one of these. Keeliah that was nerve wracking."

As the drug takes effect and forces her body to relax, Tali starts looking through the different caps until she finds one in a drawer that was locked with a key. A key that was still in the keyhole. A quick command seals the wrist of her suit so that she can safely remove her glove.

As she's taking her blooded finger off of the brass plate, her eyes widen as her brain catches up with the fact she's not wearing her face plate. Only the presence of the drug in her system stops her from collapsing from hyperventilating. With clenched teeth she raises her ungloved hand and uses it to push the hair cap over the top of her head so that she can get the leather memory cap on.

═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════

A few minutes later, Tali pushes herself into a seating position with a groan. "Ugh, what happened? Where's the cap?"

As she's looking around, she spots a glowing spot above her forehead and reaches up to find the cap on her head with the crystal already mounted. As she pulls it off, her eyes catch a glimpse of writing on the metal plate just before it's covered by a leather panel.

Curiously she uncovers the plate and stares at the warning, 'Warning, ensure you are lying down before use. Caution, causes short term memory loss, see manual for details.'

Using the desk to help her back to her feet, Tali freezes as she spots a small booklet with the picture of some skyline and a group of humans looking at a map. Below the cloud line, in blue writing, are the words, 'Memcorder extreme, skillz edition.'

Opening the booklet shows an image of a human wearing this cap on the inside cover, and on the first page is a list of contents, including 'how to use the Skillz mode'.

═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════

Jane looks up from her paperwork, with a carrot stick poking out of her input port, as the door to Tali's cabinet opens. Swallowing her mouthful of carrot, she smiles, "How'd you get on?"

Tali throws a booklet across the room angrily, only for it to flutter uselessly to the floor as it opens in mid flight, "You're a bitch, why didn't you tell me I needed to be lying down?"

Jane takes off her faceplate so that Tali can see her face without anything in the way. "Honestly, I had no idea. I've never used one of those devices to learn skills, only to transfer memories into crystals for reports. Are you ok?"

Tali slumps down on the bed, "No, not really. I was so scared in there that I had to take a relaxant, and then I found out that the poxie helmet blocks short term memory retention while it's working, which means I don't remember putting it on, or putting the crystal in. I just woke up on the floor after it finished."

As Tali's talking, Jane stands up and walks over to sit beside her. Then she wraps her arm around Tali to provide comfort. "I'm sorry, I didn't know. When we have some downtime I'll show you how to submit complaints and revisions for standard military equipment, and you can submit a Quarian translation of…"

"Khelish."

"Sorry?"

Tali looks up to face Jane, "The name of our language, it's Khelish not Quarian."

At the far end of the room the door swishes open and a female crew member quickly hurries in and puts a dataslate down, "Sorry to intrude, you… ah… didn't have your privacy indicator… These are the results of the stealth system test Captain."

Jane blinks as the woman leaves as quickly as she arrived. "Right, you were saying that your language is Khelish?"

Tali shuffles away, "Jane, why was she so nervous?"

"I would imagine she thought we were kissing. I'm supposed to be on lunch for the next five minutes, so I assume she was just being a little too eager."

Tali frowns, "Is that like the Asari tendency to put their mouths together?"

Jane frowns, "It is. I thought you understood English now."

Tali nods, "I do, but we don't put our mouths together, it is too dangerous. We instead press our foreheads together. Even those who are married won't do that. They share air and skin, and even that brings a high risk with it."

Jane shakes her head, "It's been bugging me for a while, why do you wear suits even on your ships?"

Tali looks down at her omnitool, "Our histories say that we originally wore them just in case of a hull breach, as they have a few hours worth of oxygen. However, after the initial danger passed, we found that our children couldn't survive being suitless. Our dream of returning to our homeworld isn't just about reclaiming our home, it's also about our survival."

Jane nods, "Well, once we have time to visit an alliance planet for shore leave, you'll have plenty of time to go suitless after I've taken you to get your own magic, as your magic will protect you from any diseases."

Tali looks up hopefully, "Would you be able to do the same for the rest of the fleet?"

Jane shakes her head, "Tali, you're my apprentice. There will be some magical oaths involved, about protecting life in the Galaxy from sleepers and external threats. They're the same oaths that I had to make. We make applicants make those oaths because at that level of the dream your lifespan becomes effectively infinite. Even if we took your people to realm:10 it would still be problematic. If your entire nation joined the Systems Alliance, then we might be able to get you back to your homeworld."

Tali searches Jane's face for a moment before standing up and storming to the door, "Don't do that. Don't dangle hope like that, I'm not some child to fall for that sort of drivel."

Jane smoothly catches Tali's hand and pulls her back, "Tali, I'm not kidding or trying to bribe you. You've got a magitech datapad. Read about the realms yourself. We might not be willing to fight the Geth for you, but we don't have to. Every Alliance world exists across the three linked realms, every single one. Could your own people swallow their pride and live in just two of those realms? Just, think about that before you decide I'm dangling a false hope. You can also message Victoria too, as that datapad is yours and yours alone."

Tali slumps, "I'm going to engineering. I, need to think."

Jane smiles, "Well, don't forget to take your work with you, as I'm sure that Adams is the source of a large amount of those requisitions."

Tali stomps over to her desk and grabs the offending tablet, before walking out the door.
 
Chapter 24

Chapter 24




AN - While Mass Effect FTL is supposed to be able to be around 25 light years per day (to a maximum of 50 for the Reapers), I have made the decision that "In System" travel averages out to be at the speed of light due to inter system debris, like asteroids and planets, that can't just be absorbed by the shields.


The Alliance FTL is faster at a maximum speed of 200ly/day, but it's not instant, because it involves moving to a realm where there isn't any debris. However, it's not as fast as the Relays, which generate a direct path between them.


The reason for this is to actually add a sense of scale and time to the Galaxy. If I allowed full speed travel in system, then the characters would never be too far away from help.



═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════​


A few hours before the Normandy is due to arrive in orbit around Therum in the Artemis Tau cluster, Tali and Garrus both watch as Jane scoots underneath the Mako with her scribing stylus and a large sheet of parchment covered in runes.


When Tali doesn't say anything, Garrus asks, "Commander, what are you doing?"


Jane pokes her head around one of the wheels, "I'm inscribing broom charms on the axle plates."


Garrus' crest starts to show doubt, "Why would you be doing that?"


Jane says something inaudible, and Tali sounds confused when she says, "So that it can fly. Captain, why would you want it to fly?"


Garrus nods, "Turian minds would also like to know that too."


A moment later Tali's omnitool beeps, and she opens a file that shows a section of the planet along with a series of waypoints.


Jane grunts, "The blue route is the original route we were planning based on the last reported data in the system. The red to green dotted lines are the proposed routes based on observational data since we arrived in system. Lt Presley assures me that the green route is the only one we can guarantee is safe for the Mako if we don't want to take the time to drop a sensor boey and scan the planet before making landfall."


Garrus lifts his own omnitool and takes the map from Tali. After a moment he says, "Why is the blue route going over a lava flow?"


"Because the entire planet is tectonically active, and the citadel maps don't get updated as often as the local maps do. Red spots are areas of radio chatter using what looks like Geth encryption, so we're presuming they have anti-air in place. The orange x in a triangle is the target area and the black line used to be the road to the nearest settlement. Our projected landing spot used to be 50m above the lava level, and was abandoned when the settlement was evacuated 6 months ago. You want to know the worst part?"


Garrus sounds resigned as he says, "Go on."


"All the mines were opened by Humans. Before that it was mostly tectonically stable, and the preserve of Prothean archaeologist."


Tali's surprised at the way Jane spits the word Humans, "Jane, aren't you human?"


Jane pushes herself out from under the Mako with her stylus in her mouth. Taking it out she looks up at Tali, her clan markings clear on her face, "Not if you look at the IHA news. According to them I'm some hybrid between an asari and a goblin, or maybe a turian and a dwarf. Or my favourite, a Giant and a Salarian. I think the only reason why they haven't mentioned Sidhe is that a sidhe could actually take offence and hunt them down. It doesn't matter that all of those are magical creatures, that would die if they came anywhere close to a citadel race without an isolation suit. Anyway, could one of you grab the control stick from the work bench and say 'Up'?"


As Jane slides back under the Mako, Tali walks over to the armory bench and opens a channel to Jane, "Control stick?"


"Should be a wooden dowel with runes on it and a metal pipe at right angles to it."


Tali frowns as she picks up the only thing that looks anything like that, "Ok, I've got it. Now what?"


"Hold it so that the wooden part is horizontal and the metal bit is vertical, then say 'Up'."


Tali holds the stick and says, "'Up'" there is a loud thunk as the front left corner of the Mako jumps against the restraining straps.


Jane has a smile in her voice as she says, "Great, the wheelchair variant is working. Now say 'Down'."


While Tali is doing that Garrus lays down to look under the Mako, "What made you even learn how to do this?"


Jane shuffles over to the other side of the Mako with the parchment, "It's no secret that I was accepted as an N8. But I was still on medical leave when my training started so they started me on the theory. Well, during my initial recovery I needed to use a wheelchair in order to cover any distance. And magicals being magicals, there's no reason to stick with a known design when you can make something awesome and impractical. So they initially stuck a couple of brooms to an old wheelchair. When I kept going over my allowed heart rate just moving around in the chair to make the whole thing work, they developed a wheelchair variant to the broom charm. I made the mistake of asking my rune teacher how brooms were made after that and got roped into developing a purely runic schema for the wheelchair variant."


Garrus blinks as his crest shows confusion, "Why?"


Jane pulls her runic pen from the rune she's just completed, "Honestly? I think it was because it's an interesting problem to solve, and one that might have uses in the field if the runic specialization for N3's becomes available. Not for turning vehicles into flying vehicles, as I doubt the magic on this will last more than a couple of minutes before I have to get out and reapply the magicite to the runes. But you could apply it to a stretcher, a wheelchair, or some other rigid object to act as emergency transport. It also got me thinking about how to make my own arrays if I need them. The control stick is far more complicated than the array that I'm applying under here and I confess it's also the one I made at the camp."


"Are you sure you're allowed to tell me this?"


Jane lifts the pen away to shrug, "Sure, it's not like you couldn't just record the design with your omni tool. The secrets are in the meaning of the different runes, and the stylus. Even then, you could apply for Systems Alliance citizenship and do a course on runes on most SA planets. I'd imagine it's the same for the citadel cultures, anyone can learn how to build a gun or drive. That's not the hard part, the hard part is building a good version of that. And for the record, I'm not good at making runic arrays, and don't even mention programming to me."


Tali harrumphs, "I am going to teach you how to use your omnitool properly, even if it takes me a hundred years."


Jane laughs, "I'm sure you will."


As Jane's started scribing the motive runes on the rear door of the Mako, Tali asks, "Jane. You have a portkey programmer, why aren't we just using a portkey to get to the mine?"


Jane grimaces, "Two reasons, the first and most important is that the VIP is an asari, which means we can't use the emergency portkeys for evac without risking killing her. The second is related to that, as we need to take out any anti air on route so that the Normandy can provide support if necessary. That's not to say we won't be using portkeys to secure the anti air once it's clear. Just that we have to get there first... I've just thought of a third reason, if there's a Geth ship in orbit, then the Normandy might not be able to hold a geosynchronous position, and without a fixed location the computer in the programmer isn't powerful enough to calculate the vectors and position data needed to target a moving location."


"Oh…"


Garrus asks, "Does that apply to all biotics, or just asari?"


Jane rests her forehead against the door to the Mako, "Fuck. Probably. Maybe. Someone tell Alenko to look up IHA combat drop doctrine, and Tali, see if the SA has any guideline for portkeys and biotics."


═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════​


Jane looks around the comms room at her senior officers. "You all know the mission and the stakes. Alenko, you're on Alpha squad, Wrex you've got Bravo squad, Williams you're Wrex's 2ic. I'm taking Garrus and Tali. We are going to hot drop the Mako in the insertion point and clear the area. Once we're clear I'll send portkey coordinates back to the Normandy, and Alpha squad will do a short range portkey with Dr Chakwas. That is going to be our emergency Evac point. Wrex, once you've got the coordinates prime your emergency portkeys, as you're on hot drop. If we need backup, you'll need to be ready to go as soon as Joker can stabilize the ship inside the 3km MRR for biotics. Once we've cleared the anti air and the ruins, Beta squad will either evac with Alpha squad, or they'll secure the site while we find the VIP in the ruins. Remember the VIP is an asari, and their MRR for portkeys is zero, so no matter what, we'll be evacing in person. Any questions?"


Wrex nods, "Yeah, what's that M thing?"


"Maximum Recommended Range. How far you can be teleported with magic before it starts to cause problems for Biotics, starting with pain and ending with death. Within that range you should only feel mild discomfort that will pass in a couple of minutes. Wrex, Alenko, make sure you're squads are on the tacnet and you're running it locally. Anyone else?"


Alenko raises his hand, "Yeah, can we just do a normal drop on the insertion point sir?"


Jane shakes her head, "I wish we could, but we're hot dropping the Mako for a reason. We don't want to expose the Normandy to anti air more than absolutely necessary. Any other questions?"


Alenko raises his hand again, "Can we get cooling runes on our heatsinks again?"


Jane sighs, "Not until we've got a surplus of weapons we don't mind trashing."


═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════​


After they've successfully secured the evacuation point, Jane, Tali, and Garrus head off in the Mako. Jane, being the only one that's certified, is driving.


As the Mako careens over another rock, Garrus calls out, "Shepherd, you do know how to drive one of these things don't you?"


Jane calls back, "Sort of, N8's don't actually use vehicles, so they mocked one up with brooms. I passed my exam though. Tali, bogies at 12 O'Clock, I'm cutting across the lava so tag 'em for Alpha squad."


Tali stutters as the Mako runs over the bumpy rocks, "R-r-r-roger. W-w-what d-do yo-u m-m-mean sort of?"


As Jane fires the jump boosters to get some initial height before she calls, "Up! I mean all the N8's can teleport! They didn't even think about driving until the week before testing."


As the Mako smooths out, Garrus takes a bead on the group of Geth they spotted, and fires the main cannon. As he does, the Mako slews to one side from the recoil of the blast and his crest raises in enjoyment, "I love this gun!"


Jane leans the tank hard back towards their projected route, "I don't care, try not to fire it while we're flying in future, we don't exactly have anything to brace against here!"


Tali calls out, "I've got two groups of geth converging on our projected landing site! Including an armament!"


"Mark them on the tacnet and highlight them for our squad, I'll try to avoid an intercept until we're on solid ground again."


As she says that, Jane fires the boosters to cover pouring more magic into the broom enchantments and give them more speed. As she does, she brings up her filter graph to keep an eye on her virus output.


As they're getting closer to the shore, Garrus shouts "Incoming!"


As he does, Jane pulls the control stick nearly vertical and all three of them are pressed towards the back of the Mako as it shoots into the sky. Almost immediately afterwards Jane shouts, "Down!" and the Mako enters freefall as she uses quick bursts of the boosters to level off their flight.


After a bone jarring crunch, Jane shouts, "Weapons free!"


A moment later the Mako skids to one side as Garrus fires at the Geth Armature. Then he calls out, "Incoming noon shade!"


Jane accelerates forward as a second shot from the Mako sends the tank onto two wheels for a brief moment. As she does, she flinches as a red Geth fires a rocket at the tank while automatic fire pings off the hull. As she scrambles to turn the Mako to get out of the way, the rocket hits the front of the tank and a blue ripple spreads out from the impact.


A moment later the main gun fires again and Garrus shouts, "Incoming! Shepherd!"


Jane shakes her head and floors the accelerator as she heads towards the human sized Geth, "We have shields!?"


Tali shouts back, "Of course, why are you surprised?"


With the sight lines to the Armature broken for the moment, Garrus swings the cannon around to line up with the small Geth, "Less talking more killing! Tali where's that Armature. We need to destroy it before it decides to head for the evac point."


The forward momentum of the tank is immediately canceled out as the main gun obliterates the man-sized Geth. Tali has time to shout, "Incoming!" before a large ball of energy catches the tank in the side and warning alarms start blaring in the cockpit. "Shields are down, minor damaged to the rear starboard wheel!"


Jane curses and throws the tank into reverse and turns broad side on as Garrus turns the main gun to face the threat. As she does, a glowing ball of molten metal plasma sails past the front of the tank.


It takes several exchanges, but eventually Jane and Garrus fall into a rhythm of dodging in reverse or forward and then stopping long enough for Garrus to finish lining up his shot against the Armature. Two shots after they hit their stride is all it takes to knock out the shields and destroy the Geth Armature.


With no immediate enemies around them, the three of them disembark long enough for Jane to make a show of touching the magicite end of her stylus to the broom charms.


As she's lying under the chassis, Jane says, "What the hell was that thing shooting at us?"


Garrus crouches down, "Shield penetrators. They're slow, but they're more energy and matter efficient than the main gun on the tank. Pack a punch too."


Jane shuffles over to the next array, "Why haven't I heard of them before?"


Garrus gives a Turian chuckle, "Because they're slow. They're useless in space, and against mobile troops. Great for ground defense and sieges though, especially in terrain like this where a drop ship needs to follow a predictable route to the ground."


Scooting towards the rear of the tank, Jane asks, "What about you Tali, anything to add?"


Tali shakes her head where she's keeping watch along their route, "What does the Alliance use?"


Jane shuffles over to the last of the underside arrays, "We've got siege spells and transfiguration. We only introduced ground vehicles once we started patrolling worlds outside our borders. Not much call for them when the wizard can just create a line of sight portkey, or a bunker on demand. We also generally run a minimum of one wizard per squad."


Jane stands up and touches the magicite to the back of the door, "Right, that's done, let's move out."


As they're climbing back in, Garrus asks, "Why do you use guns if wizards can do all that?"


As Jane's settling herself into the drivers seat, she chuckles, "Range, speed, and exhaustion. Most spells range out at around 50 yards, and compared to a gun they're slow. Around as fast as an arrow, and able to be used about as quickly. Of course, Magi are a completely different game, but you'll never see a Magi away from their home planet. Reportedly, guns are useless against Sidhe, but I've never seen one facing modern citadel firearms."


As the Mako lurches forward, Tali glances over at Jane's back with a frown.


═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════​


After nearly an hour of driving, fighting, and flying past an old supply depot with the broken remains of a wall sticking up out of the lava showing where the road to the settlement used to go, the group finally reaches what used to be an small spaceport for shipping out ore.


From a slight vantage point Jane hands a pair of omnoculars to Garrus, "What do you think?"


Garrus looks at the opera glasses doubtfully before lifting them to his eyes and then looking at them again. "How?"


Jane shakes her head, "Magic, don't think about it too much. What do you think of the defenses?"


Garrus has a good look before handing the omnoculars over to Tali, who brings them up to her face plate a couple of times, before giving up. "I think that used to be an emergency evacuation point, those barriers are far too sturdy for something set up in the last couple of days. I wouldn't be surprised if the anti air was there before the Geth arrived and took it over."


Tali points over at a gap between a couple of mountain peaks, "I think there's another trail over there. Maybe some of the miners objected to whoever was running the port."


Jane takes the omnoculars back and has a look, "I can see some old tracks leading that way so you could be right."


15 minutes and one dead squad of Geth later, the three of them cautiously make their way to the edge of the rise, only to find out it ends in a cliff with a clear view of the entire compound.


Jane grumbles, "Just our luck. At least we have a clear shot at the anti air. Garrus if Tali keeps track of the towers, do you think you could take potshots if I dart in and out of cover."


Garrus looks at the angles with a rippling crest, "The angle's almost as steep as we can aim the gun. You'd need to position it perfectly for me to get an angle on the closest one. I should be able to do the other three without too much trouble."


Jane nods, "We'll do that then. It's times like this I wish I could use magic. A two ton boulder travelling at a few hundred km an hour would deal with the problem quite nicely. Even if it did exhaust me."


"Couldn't you do something with your pen?"


Jane gives a Turian sign of uncertainty and Tali says, "Not without a few hours to scribe the runes. I've been studying them as they'd make a great pilgrimage gift. There's a whole section in the books about why a magical should choose a career in runes despite how hard they are compared to normal spells and enchantments. A magical could just give them wings and have them charge the towers behind a flock of birds. Runes are more like magical programming, so they'd need to describe exactly how they want the boulder to move."


Jane nods, "Great for things like making a flying tank, less good for spur of the moment needs unless you've memorised the array and practiced it over and over again. That being said, our tank can fly, so we could take out the easy three and then fly down the cliff over there and over the barrier on the far side of the compound."


Garrus crawls back from the edge before walking over to the vantage point Jane pointed to. After a moment he nods, "We would be sacrificing the high ground, but it probably has safeties to prevent it shooting the buildings."


Lying down beside the overlook, Tali asks, "Garrus, you've got a sniper rifle. Would it be a good idea to snipe all the Geth you can before we start?"


Garrus looks back at Jane who nods before she puts her faceplate back on, "Let's do that then."


As Garrus walks back to the overlook while he unslings the sniper rifle on his back, Jane hands over the omnoculars, "Hang on to those, they're probably more useful for you until we can get an enchanted scope."


Garrus nods and tucks them into a pouch before he crawls up to the overlook while Tali uses her omnitool to target all the Geth she can see.


Just before Garrus fires his first shot, Jane calls, "Wait, I've just remembered something. Give me five minutes."


Garrus nods as Jane pulls out her rune guide and quickly flicks through to find the privacy barrier. Finding a flat stone she spends the next 15 minutes carving out the runes three times after she made a mistake the first two times. Finally she touches the magicite to the successful array and tosses it to one side. When it doesn't explode or disintegrate she picks it up and carries it over to the other two, "Basic privacy array. It blocks all sound from passing through it."


Garrus nods, "I'm using supersonic rounds, so I don't think it will make that much difference."


Jane nods, "I just figured it would stop them from pinpointing us if they have any of those rockets."


Garrus nods, "You have the vantage point."


Jane chuckles, "I'm not a very good Turian, far too independent."


Garrus nods, "Same."


With a plan and their preparation, clearing the defenses is anticlimactic.
 
Yay, it's back! I enjoyed this story a lot more than I originally thought I would. Turns out that mixing up fantasy with Mass Effect is right up my alley. Who knew.

You have a good grasp on dialogue and building interesting characters. Can't really get into a story without that, but you've got it covered. The world-building is also very unique, and I enjoy it. The present tense feels weird sometimes. Then again, you use it well, so it's probably just not something I'm accustomed to.

Sometimes there are bits that are a bit rough like this:

Garrus nods, "I'm using supersonic rounds, so I don't think it will make that much difference."


Jane nods, "I just figured it would stop them from pinpointing us if they have any of those rockets."


Garrus nods, "You have the vantage point."


Jane chuckles, "I'm not a very good Turian, far too independent."

Some reordering, like just removing a few of the "nods", as a plain quoted reply can sometimes make the pacing of the dialogue better. Changing the accompanying action, or describing it a bit differently can also make the bit flow better:

"Garrus glances at his rifle, "I'm using supersonic rounds, so I don't think it will make that much difference."

"I just figured it would stop them from pinpointing us if they have any of those rockets."

Garrus nods, "You have the vantage point."

Jane chuckles, "I'm not a very good Turian, far too independent."

Or something like that.

Anyway, I'm really happy to see this updating.

Time for an enthusiastic re-read!
 
Some reordering, like just removing a few of the "nods", as a plain quoted reply can sometimes make the pacing of the dialogue better. Changing the accompanying action, or describing it a bit differently can also make the bit flow better:
Thanks for the feedback, I'll certainly try to keep it in mind going forward.

I'm glad you're enjoying the story too.
 
Back
Top