(Everyone else is doing it! Let's try not to be a filthy furry fic.)
Being a direwolf was...
Being a direwolf was...
That Fucking Bitch (ASOIAF Direwolf SI)
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1.0 That fucking raven
(Everyone else is doing it! Let's try not to be a filthy furry fic.)
Being a direwolf was awesome.
Being the size of a horse, I raced down the snowy slope with the other wolves, running down a specific bison in our sights. Of course, being ASOIAF, this bison was the size of a truck to compensate for our being the size of a horse. It nearly gored Wolf Meat, who distracted it for two other direwolfs to jump on its back and send it crashing down.
Okay, there were downsides to being a direwolf. I couldn't speak English, couldn't write without it being tedious, and having a human intelligence made it difficult to pick up direwolf language. So I was generally the weirdo of the group even if the leader, Silver Mom, allowed me to stay.
I think it was because she knew that we weren't doing so well as a species. During my five years here, I never saw another direwolf outside of our pack. It was kind of worrisome that the entire direwolf species was about thirty members strong. Ned Stark, please start conservation efforts!
While I waited for my turn as my wolf pack ravaged the still living bison, I saw her. It was lone grey direwolf who from the smell was clearly pregnant. She was clearly staring at our prey, hoping for a bite.
Aw shit. This was Prophecy Wolf wasn't it.
A few of the wolves started to notice her and growl at the stranger, but I bounded over to Silver Mom and started appealing to let her have a bite.
No, she said flatly as she tore into its liver. I sighed. Time for the big guns.
I flopped on my back and waggled my legs. Please?
You have no shame, Silver Mom retorted before sighing. She went up to the stranger and started smelling her in the usual exchange. Then after finding her acceptable, she let her eat.
Turns out, Prophecy Wolf was a little nutty.
Wasn't her fault though, the Others had wiped out her pack and she barely escaped with her life. Silver Mom found this worrisome, but it was the dreams with the three eyed raven that creeped everyone out. She wouldn't stop talking about how we all had to go to the Wall to survive and the raven was guiding her to save the direwolf future. I tried to tell her that the raven was full of shit, but she didn't really listen to the 'weirdo' of the group. While Silver Mom did lead us pretty close to the Wall, she wouldn't let us go into sight of it unless we wanted to be crossbow bait and have us be wonderful fur coats for the Night Watch.
Eventually, she left the pack. And I, like an idiot, went with her together.
---
I could live off not eating for a long time. I went without a week once. That was a terrible week.
Pregnant direwolves however were hungry as fuck. Small prey didn't satisfy her. She wanted to go after big game.
She wanted to go after a stag.
I eyed it warily. This was something Silver Mom wouldn't have approved of. Too much horns for too little payoff. But Prophecy Wolf was desperate and she was letting me know she was going after it whether I liked it or not.
Should I help her? Was she doomed whether I did anything or not? I didn't want to die with her. But she was already creeping up on it from behind and I sighed as I went another way to support her.
Shit.
She started the chase and instead of running like good prey, the stag screamed and kicked back with its back legs. Fortunately, Prophecy Wolf braked at the right moment to avoid having her chest caved in and I ran in to distract him from turning. Of course this meant he focused on me and tried to gore me with his crown of antlers. I jumped back and snapped at him with my jaws, giving him pause.
It was a fragile balance we had with the stag, the worst game of tag in existence I would say, as we dove back and forth at the stag making it off balance and more injured with every pass.
Then the fucking raven. That mother fucking raven.
It cawed just as Prophecy Wolf dove in and she looked up automatically just as the stag's antlers drove into her jaw. I jumped on the back of the stag, breaking its back, but it was too late. Prophecy Wolf staggered, with a shard of antler in her jaw. I howled my fury at the raven, but it was already flying away, mission accomplished.
She started walking in a daze and I followed her, supporting her each time she stumbled. We passed the Wall and finally, she collapsed, going into birth. She searched my eyes, asking for something she couldn't say.
Promise me.
I nodded, feeling wretched once the light went out of her eyes. There went another sacred direwolf and a friend.
Like I expected, six small pups came into the world without ever knowing their nutty mom. I licked them in lieu of their mother, despite feeling weird about it.
Then I howled my grief, letting the world know of tragedy.
Unsurprisingly, this brought humans with swords. It was easy enough to pick out Ned as he looked a lot like Sean Bean and had the biggest fucking sword. I cautiously went in front of Ned, avoiding sword range, and bent my legs in a parody of a bow. I tried to forget the fact bows were prostrating your neck for execution.
Being a direwolf was awesome.
Being the size of a horse, I raced down the snowy slope with the other wolves, running down a specific bison in our sights. Of course, being ASOIAF, this bison was the size of a truck to compensate for our being the size of a horse. It nearly gored Wolf Meat, who distracted it for two other direwolfs to jump on its back and send it crashing down.
Okay, there were downsides to being a direwolf. I couldn't speak English, couldn't write without it being tedious, and having a human intelligence made it difficult to pick up direwolf language. So I was generally the weirdo of the group even if the leader, Silver Mom, allowed me to stay.
I think it was because she knew that we weren't doing so well as a species. During my five years here, I never saw another direwolf outside of our pack. It was kind of worrisome that the entire direwolf species was about thirty members strong. Ned Stark, please start conservation efforts!
While I waited for my turn as my wolf pack ravaged the still living bison, I saw her. It was lone grey direwolf who from the smell was clearly pregnant. She was clearly staring at our prey, hoping for a bite.
Aw shit. This was Prophecy Wolf wasn't it.
A few of the wolves started to notice her and growl at the stranger, but I bounded over to Silver Mom and started appealing to let her have a bite.
No, she said flatly as she tore into its liver. I sighed. Time for the big guns.
I flopped on my back and waggled my legs. Please?
You have no shame, Silver Mom retorted before sighing. She went up to the stranger and started smelling her in the usual exchange. Then after finding her acceptable, she let her eat.
Turns out, Prophecy Wolf was a little nutty.
Wasn't her fault though, the Others had wiped out her pack and she barely escaped with her life. Silver Mom found this worrisome, but it was the dreams with the three eyed raven that creeped everyone out. She wouldn't stop talking about how we all had to go to the Wall to survive and the raven was guiding her to save the direwolf future. I tried to tell her that the raven was full of shit, but she didn't really listen to the 'weirdo' of the group. While Silver Mom did lead us pretty close to the Wall, she wouldn't let us go into sight of it unless we wanted to be crossbow bait and have us be wonderful fur coats for the Night Watch.
Eventually, she left the pack. And I, like an idiot, went with her together.
---
I could live off not eating for a long time. I went without a week once. That was a terrible week.
Pregnant direwolves however were hungry as fuck. Small prey didn't satisfy her. She wanted to go after big game.
She wanted to go after a stag.
I eyed it warily. This was something Silver Mom wouldn't have approved of. Too much horns for too little payoff. But Prophecy Wolf was desperate and she was letting me know she was going after it whether I liked it or not.
Should I help her? Was she doomed whether I did anything or not? I didn't want to die with her. But she was already creeping up on it from behind and I sighed as I went another way to support her.
Shit.
She started the chase and instead of running like good prey, the stag screamed and kicked back with its back legs. Fortunately, Prophecy Wolf braked at the right moment to avoid having her chest caved in and I ran in to distract him from turning. Of course this meant he focused on me and tried to gore me with his crown of antlers. I jumped back and snapped at him with my jaws, giving him pause.
It was a fragile balance we had with the stag, the worst game of tag in existence I would say, as we dove back and forth at the stag making it off balance and more injured with every pass.
Then the fucking raven. That mother fucking raven.
It cawed just as Prophecy Wolf dove in and she looked up automatically just as the stag's antlers drove into her jaw. I jumped on the back of the stag, breaking its back, but it was too late. Prophecy Wolf staggered, with a shard of antler in her jaw. I howled my fury at the raven, but it was already flying away, mission accomplished.
She started walking in a daze and I followed her, supporting her each time she stumbled. We passed the Wall and finally, she collapsed, going into birth. She searched my eyes, asking for something she couldn't say.
Promise me.
I nodded, feeling wretched once the light went out of her eyes. There went another sacred direwolf and a friend.
Like I expected, six small pups came into the world without ever knowing their nutty mom. I licked them in lieu of their mother, despite feeling weird about it.
Then I howled my grief, letting the world know of tragedy.
Unsurprisingly, this brought humans with swords. It was easy enough to pick out Ned as he looked a lot like Sean Bean and had the biggest fucking sword. I cautiously went in front of Ned, avoiding sword range, and bent my legs in a parody of a bow. I tried to forget the fact bows were prostrating your neck for execution.
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- Location
- Elsewhere
Don't worry, we won't lose respect for you... much.
1.1 Literacy is very important
"My gods," Ned muttered as he sheathed Ice. The direwolf, the size of a horse, seemed to smile and flop on its back at the sight. Robb was restraining Bran from running up to it and rubbing its stomach. He cautiously approached it with his hand outstretched and scratched the underside of her chin. She rumbled with happiness, which nearly startled him, but he kept scratching.
"Lord Stark, there are pups with the corpse." Jory Cassel reported as he edged around. The direwolf stood up at that, making him take a few steps back, and stared levelly at Jory. Unnerved, he backed away slowly with his sword in hand. She trotted to the corpse and scooped up a pup in her mouth.
"Were they sisters?" Bran wondered aloud. Jon shook his head as she walked up to Robb.
"They look nothing alike." He pointed out. The wolf was much larger than the other and had grey silver coloring. She dropped the pup in Robb in his arms who looked dumbfound at the small bundle in his arms. She proceeded to hand a pup to Jon and Bran before sitting down in front of Ned and holding out a paw. Ned took it and shook it firmly, feeling like it was the right thing to do.
Then she scratched into the dirt with her paw, let's go.
"It can write?!" Theon burst out.
The direwolf gave him a look that said, Of course.
"Lord Stark, there are pups with the corpse." Jory Cassel reported as he edged around. The direwolf stood up at that, making him take a few steps back, and stared levelly at Jory. Unnerved, he backed away slowly with his sword in hand. She trotted to the corpse and scooped up a pup in her mouth.
"Were they sisters?" Bran wondered aloud. Jon shook his head as she walked up to Robb.
"They look nothing alike." He pointed out. The wolf was much larger than the other and had grey silver coloring. She dropped the pup in Robb in his arms who looked dumbfound at the small bundle in his arms. She proceeded to hand a pup to Jon and Bran before sitting down in front of Ned and holding out a paw. Ned took it and shook it firmly, feeling like it was the right thing to do.
Then she scratched into the dirt with her paw, let's go.
"It can write?!" Theon burst out.
The direwolf gave him a look that said, Of course.
1.2 Arguments
There's a con, that I don't know the name of, of when you convince people you're part of the in group and they trust you utterly when they believe it. Of course I wasn't going to do the second part of the con which is taking all their money, but I was doing the first.
I was a direwolf, an inviolable symbol of Starkness. I also lied and said I was working for the old gods.
What? A lot of scams happen in religion.
Anyways, it helped smooth out the way of my impossible knowledge that I disclosed discreetly to Ned and Catelyn Stark. It took days of paw breaking work and a personal dirt tray for me, but I managed to list all the events, dangers, and pitfalls.
However, I wanted to scream.
"I'm going to the Vale." Catelyn said firmly.
[She poisoned Arryn. She tried to push Sansa off a damn cliff.] I wrote furiously. I wish I could write in italics
"She's my sister. I can't leave her there with Petyr using her." She replied, just as furious. Goddamn Tully values. At least she accepted that Petyr was now a scumbag.
And Ned wanted to go to the South as the Hand to garner alliances for the Other invasion and to help Robert, which was slightly more reasonable but you'd think a guy who got told his head would be chopped off by his own sword would be more wary. Also I thought Robert was a lost cause, but the last time I said that Ned got really mad and I had to stay in the stables for a while.
I also was brutally honest with them. I told them they needed to support their children and leverage their strengths better. Catelyn was scandalized that Arya became a murderous assassin, and even more so when I told her Arya would never be a good lady but rather a good warrior. Ned actually took that better, having a resigned face. I laughed when I saw it and told him that Arya was not Lyanna in any way and never would be. He looked thoughtful at that.
I told Catelyn that Sansa needed to be a true lady in all the ways. She had a true skill for navigating social situations that needed to be leveraged for negotiations rather than frivolities. Septa Mordane needed to be fired and punted back to her Sept.
That earned me a lot of yelling.
I did get some of my ideas accepted though. Robb would be betrothed to Myrcella and they'd keep her in Winterfell instead of Sansa going to the South. Cersei would probably complain, but I was confident that Robert's insane trust in Ned would keep him from recognizing we were setting up a political hostage situation. Theon would help train Shaggydog with Rickon, which would pay off with bringing Theon closer to the family and keep Shaggydog from mauling people to death. Win win!
I tried to get Ned to just anoint the damn boy as a Stark, but he stubbornly stuck to the fact he'd have to chop off his head if his dad got uppity which is when I pointed out his dad didn't give a damn about Theon which is when Catelyn said she was not having any more bastard sons entering the family. It always got pretty messy, but I think I was getting some ground with Ned. Not Catelyn though, bless the gods she didn't ever throw something at me for my sass.
The rest of my time? I gave pony rides. A lot of pony rides.
I was popular with Rickon obviously, since Shaggydog was much too small to hold him. Sometimes I'd be covered in toddler drool which is when I'd have to go take a bath. Bran sometimes shyly approached me and had me running up and down the fields in glee. When it was evening, Arya would creep up on me to have a ride. She loved me jumping and running as fast as I could.
I tried to teach the wolves proper direwolf hunting and tactics, but honestly they were just puppies. Puppies who loved to swarm me to death. It was like dying by cuteness.
It took about two months for Robert's entourage to get here, which was enough time for them to sew a Stark cloak for me to wear. It was pretty boss, not gonna lie. I trotted in it for days.
Ned decided to name me Alysanne after I told them I had no name. It was a pretty good name so I accepted it.
When they finally got here, I was bringing in a large stag, after working with the rest of the pups to bring it down, for the feast. I dumped it in the kitchen which the cook gladly took, being used to me bringing in food for him. I sniffed the air. Strangers. I brought the pups to the windows and we watched the Stark family greet the Royal family.
Joy.
I was a direwolf, an inviolable symbol of Starkness. I also lied and said I was working for the old gods.
What? A lot of scams happen in religion.
Anyways, it helped smooth out the way of my impossible knowledge that I disclosed discreetly to Ned and Catelyn Stark. It took days of paw breaking work and a personal dirt tray for me, but I managed to list all the events, dangers, and pitfalls.
However, I wanted to scream.
"I'm going to the Vale." Catelyn said firmly.
[She poisoned Arryn. She tried to push Sansa off a damn cliff.] I wrote furiously. I wish I could write in italics
"She's my sister. I can't leave her there with Petyr using her." She replied, just as furious. Goddamn Tully values. At least she accepted that Petyr was now a scumbag.
And Ned wanted to go to the South as the Hand to garner alliances for the Other invasion and to help Robert, which was slightly more reasonable but you'd think a guy who got told his head would be chopped off by his own sword would be more wary. Also I thought Robert was a lost cause, but the last time I said that Ned got really mad and I had to stay in the stables for a while.
I also was brutally honest with them. I told them they needed to support their children and leverage their strengths better. Catelyn was scandalized that Arya became a murderous assassin, and even more so when I told her Arya would never be a good lady but rather a good warrior. Ned actually took that better, having a resigned face. I laughed when I saw it and told him that Arya was not Lyanna in any way and never would be. He looked thoughtful at that.
I told Catelyn that Sansa needed to be a true lady in all the ways. She had a true skill for navigating social situations that needed to be leveraged for negotiations rather than frivolities. Septa Mordane needed to be fired and punted back to her Sept.
That earned me a lot of yelling.
I did get some of my ideas accepted though. Robb would be betrothed to Myrcella and they'd keep her in Winterfell instead of Sansa going to the South. Cersei would probably complain, but I was confident that Robert's insane trust in Ned would keep him from recognizing we were setting up a political hostage situation. Theon would help train Shaggydog with Rickon, which would pay off with bringing Theon closer to the family and keep Shaggydog from mauling people to death. Win win!
I tried to get Ned to just anoint the damn boy as a Stark, but he stubbornly stuck to the fact he'd have to chop off his head if his dad got uppity which is when I pointed out his dad didn't give a damn about Theon which is when Catelyn said she was not having any more bastard sons entering the family. It always got pretty messy, but I think I was getting some ground with Ned. Not Catelyn though, bless the gods she didn't ever throw something at me for my sass.
The rest of my time? I gave pony rides. A lot of pony rides.
I was popular with Rickon obviously, since Shaggydog was much too small to hold him. Sometimes I'd be covered in toddler drool which is when I'd have to go take a bath. Bran sometimes shyly approached me and had me running up and down the fields in glee. When it was evening, Arya would creep up on me to have a ride. She loved me jumping and running as fast as I could.
I tried to teach the wolves proper direwolf hunting and tactics, but honestly they were just puppies. Puppies who loved to swarm me to death. It was like dying by cuteness.
It took about two months for Robert's entourage to get here, which was enough time for them to sew a Stark cloak for me to wear. It was pretty boss, not gonna lie. I trotted in it for days.
Ned decided to name me Alysanne after I told them I had no name. It was a pretty good name so I accepted it.
When they finally got here, I was bringing in a large stag, after working with the rest of the pups to bring it down, for the feast. I dumped it in the kitchen which the cook gladly took, being used to me bringing in food for him. I sniffed the air. Strangers. I brought the pups to the windows and we watched the Stark family greet the Royal family.
Joy.
It would be speculation; and if she was wrong, Ned would doubt everything she told him.
- Location
- Underground
She could ask Ned about eveything that happened at the Tower of Joy. She could indicate the Old Gods were being vague jerks on that issue, as they are prone to be.
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1.3 Pranks and Upsets
(Thanks to jacobk for his suggestion.)
"By the Seven, she's huge!" Robert boomed. I twitched my ears. Robert had the voice equivalent of human aircraft carrier. In another life, he would have been great at selling products on infomercials.
"This is Alysanne Stark." Eddard introduced.
"So this is the wolf sent by the old gods, eh?" He said, stroking his beard. Then, I couldn't help myself, I flopped my back and gave a goofy dog smile. I heard Tommen and Myrcella squeal in the background, presumably held back by overworked servants. Joffrey and Cersei gave me disdainful looks, while Robert started having a bit of doubt creep into his eyes. Ned looked like he wanted to facepalm.
"I swear to the gods I'll douse you in the worst smelling perfume I can find if you don't stop." He muttered. I immediately stood up and gave a bow to King Baratheon. My nose was sensitive okay?
Using my dirt box, I wrote hello king baratheon. Cersei gave a small gasp.
"So it can talk! Wonderful!!" Then he strode forward and started scratching me behind the ears fearlessly. Hmmm, maybe I should try to save Robert, if only he could become my official ear scratcher.
---
The feast was pretty good. I had gotten an entire cooked stag to my self though I wasn't allowed to eat at the table which suited me fine. Some daring boys would try to dart in and try to touch me on dares, which is when I would then thwack them with my tail. I had enough of that shit in my past life thank you very much. I twitched my ears to hear conversation around.
"-sounds amazing, prince Joffrey!" Pass. Ear twitch.
"She gives the best pony rides!"
"I want a pony ride!" Oh gods, Tommen wanted me to give him a pony ride. Ear twitch.
"I cannot believe you promised Myrcella without consulting me." Cersei said, with a strain of anger. I wondered how pissed she was when she found out he had promised Joffrey to Sansa.
"It's a good deal." Robert said coolly. "Do you want Joffrey promised to Sansa? Because that's what I offered at first, before Ned turned me down."
She harrumphed. " ... He turned you down?" The unspoken implication was 'What's wrong with my Joffrey?'. Lots of things Lady, lots of things.
"He said that Joffrey should be wed to the more tenuous houses to tie them to the crown more strongly." I grinned, scaring a nearby servant. Good job on sticking to the script Ned!
" ... Hm, it's good to see that Stark has sense." Then Tyrion walked up to me. I gave a bow as I cracked the thigh bone of the stag in my mouth. Mmm, marrow.
"May I?" He asked, holding out a hand to my fur. I nodded before catching the eye of the servant with my dirt box and jerking my head. Tyrion patted my fur.
"Hm, you're very fluffy for a wolf the size of a horse." I gave a shrug and wrote, gods given fluffiness. He snorted. I had a thought.
you should leave lannisters. no good for you.
"Oh? And what would a wolf sent by the old gods know about the Lannisters?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
Tysha. Tyrion stilled and I could see fury and pain behind those mismatched eyes. I wrote quickly to explain.
she loved you. tywin lied. jaime lied. ask jaime.
"Oh I will." He said coldly. I glanced at Jon. Oh, he was getting upset, but Tyrion wasn't going to be in the mood for a peptalk. Uhhhh. I batted him with a tail.
favor. talk to jon snow later.
Tyrion looked up to see the boy run and slowly, he nodded. "I was planning on it. A Lanni--," He stopped and turned abruptly. I let him leave and sighed.
"By the Seven, she's huge!" Robert boomed. I twitched my ears. Robert had the voice equivalent of human aircraft carrier. In another life, he would have been great at selling products on infomercials.
"This is Alysanne Stark." Eddard introduced.
"So this is the wolf sent by the old gods, eh?" He said, stroking his beard. Then, I couldn't help myself, I flopped my back and gave a goofy dog smile. I heard Tommen and Myrcella squeal in the background, presumably held back by overworked servants. Joffrey and Cersei gave me disdainful looks, while Robert started having a bit of doubt creep into his eyes. Ned looked like he wanted to facepalm.
"I swear to the gods I'll douse you in the worst smelling perfume I can find if you don't stop." He muttered. I immediately stood up and gave a bow to King Baratheon. My nose was sensitive okay?
Using my dirt box, I wrote hello king baratheon. Cersei gave a small gasp.
"So it can talk! Wonderful!!" Then he strode forward and started scratching me behind the ears fearlessly. Hmmm, maybe I should try to save Robert, if only he could become my official ear scratcher.
---
The feast was pretty good. I had gotten an entire cooked stag to my self though I wasn't allowed to eat at the table which suited me fine. Some daring boys would try to dart in and try to touch me on dares, which is when I would then thwack them with my tail. I had enough of that shit in my past life thank you very much. I twitched my ears to hear conversation around.
"-sounds amazing, prince Joffrey!" Pass. Ear twitch.
"She gives the best pony rides!"
"I want a pony ride!" Oh gods, Tommen wanted me to give him a pony ride. Ear twitch.
"I cannot believe you promised Myrcella without consulting me." Cersei said, with a strain of anger. I wondered how pissed she was when she found out he had promised Joffrey to Sansa.
"It's a good deal." Robert said coolly. "Do you want Joffrey promised to Sansa? Because that's what I offered at first, before Ned turned me down."
She harrumphed. " ... He turned you down?" The unspoken implication was 'What's wrong with my Joffrey?'. Lots of things Lady, lots of things.
"He said that Joffrey should be wed to the more tenuous houses to tie them to the crown more strongly." I grinned, scaring a nearby servant. Good job on sticking to the script Ned!
" ... Hm, it's good to see that Stark has sense." Then Tyrion walked up to me. I gave a bow as I cracked the thigh bone of the stag in my mouth. Mmm, marrow.
"May I?" He asked, holding out a hand to my fur. I nodded before catching the eye of the servant with my dirt box and jerking my head. Tyrion patted my fur.
"Hm, you're very fluffy for a wolf the size of a horse." I gave a shrug and wrote, gods given fluffiness. He snorted. I had a thought.
you should leave lannisters. no good for you.
"Oh? And what would a wolf sent by the old gods know about the Lannisters?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
Tysha. Tyrion stilled and I could see fury and pain behind those mismatched eyes. I wrote quickly to explain.
she loved you. tywin lied. jaime lied. ask jaime.
"Oh I will." He said coldly. I glanced at Jon. Oh, he was getting upset, but Tyrion wasn't going to be in the mood for a peptalk. Uhhhh. I batted him with a tail.
favor. talk to jon snow later.
Tyrion looked up to see the boy run and slowly, he nodded. "I was planning on it. A Lanni--," He stopped and turned abruptly. I let him leave and sighed.
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- Location
- South of the border. South of all the borders...
Its been made pretty obvious that she is writing in a box of dirt.
johnwedd
Above Average man
- Location
- usa
i feel dirty for getting that reference.
Spectrum
Tell me a secret~
- Location
- Behind you~
One has to wonder if "servant carrying direwolf's box of dirt" is punishment duty or honorable service.
Older-than-Time
[Eating My Muse]
- Location
- Somewhere in the Sol System
- Pronouns
- He/Him/ThatIdiot
"So...I just have to follow the 'holy' wolf with a box of dirt? And I don't have to worry about cleaning up after her or anything? Ye gods, what deed did I do to deserve such a thing?!"
Malbutorius
C'est le bien qui fait mal
Agreed. Things are going hilariously off the rails.
Delerp Turtle
I CAST FIST!
- Location
- Middle, Capital of Nowhere
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Ohhhh yes.
HarakoniWarhawk
Striking from the Skies
- Location
- Holy Terra
- Pronouns
- She/Her
This reminds me of the Planet Wolf books.
Less the political shenanigans but more the horse sized Dire wolf.
Now you just need to develop telepathy and you'll be a ringer for a Lind
Less the political shenanigans but more the horse sized Dire wolf.
Now you just need to develop telepathy and you'll be a ringer for a Lind
1.4 Joffrey gets a pony ride
(I would write more but I gotta get ready for the work I'm going to be fired at. YAY!!)
There was a lot of yelling and upset people over the next few days that I couldn't be bothered to be concerned about. I told Summer to stop Bran from climbing things until the strangers left or someone would push him and the wolf anxiously jumped on a increasingly frustrated Bran. Then Sansa had an epic tantrum about learning she wouldn't be going to the South while Arya hugged me gleefully after learning her father would be hiring and sending a Bravosi waterdancer to teach her.
I think I ended up pissing off all the people in the castle except Arya. Good times.
I scanned the retinue. Every single person was grimacing or frowning or drinking in Robert's case. Hah.
---
They were very slow so I tended to go out loping out ahead of the group, scouting ten miles easily before running back and enjoying scritches from an amused Ned. Several days passed and several things of interest happened.
"Are you sure, Tyrion Lannister?" Robert Baratheon asked, sounding oddly concerned for once. I crept around the back of the tent and engaged in some delicious eavesdropping.
"Yes, my king. I wish only to wash my hands clean of this family." Tyrion spat. I could practically hear Cersei sneering.
"We didn't ever want you, imp." Cersei snapped back, before being silenced by Robert's raised arm.
"Very well, I shall declare you disowned from the Lannisters, Tyrion. May you find fortune." Baratheon said, even sounding a little sad.
"Thank you, my king."
---
"Weeeee!!" I was going slowly, about the speed of an arthritic slug, but Tommen was having the time of his life. While he was heavier than Arya, he was still a child and I could manage him easily.
Unfortunately, that was when we were found by Joffrey and Sandor.
"Tommen, what do you think you're doing on top of that beast?" Joffrey demanded. I could smell Tommen's anxiety spike as I lied down for him to scramble off me. Joffrey sneered at me, with a glint in his eye I didn't like.
"I think I will go riding," Joffrey said, reaching for me. As much as I didn't care for the idea of Joffrey riding me, the alternative of leaving Tommen and my box servant, Rhae, with the violent boy didn't suit well with me. So I let Joffrey have his ride and tried to ignore him trying to dig his heels in my sides like he had spurs. As my patience started to wane, Sandor noticed.
"Off the beast Joffrey, she loses patience." He said dryly.
"I will ride as long as I like." Joffrey snapped. Sandor snorted.
"Have you forgotten my family's crest? I know dogs and they will bite if you're too heavy handed with them. Now off, or I'll fetch your Lady Mother," Joffrey froze and reluctantly got off me. Rhae sighed in relief when they left.
"Are you alright Alysanne?" She asked. I shrugged. I'll live and we survived a Joffrey encounter. Tommen was still here and I sighed when I saw him look at me hopefully.
I should start charging for these pony rides.
There was a lot of yelling and upset people over the next few days that I couldn't be bothered to be concerned about. I told Summer to stop Bran from climbing things until the strangers left or someone would push him and the wolf anxiously jumped on a increasingly frustrated Bran. Then Sansa had an epic tantrum about learning she wouldn't be going to the South while Arya hugged me gleefully after learning her father would be hiring and sending a Bravosi waterdancer to teach her.
I think I ended up pissing off all the people in the castle except Arya. Good times.
I scanned the retinue. Every single person was grimacing or frowning or drinking in Robert's case. Hah.
---
They were very slow so I tended to go out loping out ahead of the group, scouting ten miles easily before running back and enjoying scritches from an amused Ned. Several days passed and several things of interest happened.
"Are you sure, Tyrion Lannister?" Robert Baratheon asked, sounding oddly concerned for once. I crept around the back of the tent and engaged in some delicious eavesdropping.
"Yes, my king. I wish only to wash my hands clean of this family." Tyrion spat. I could practically hear Cersei sneering.
"We didn't ever want you, imp." Cersei snapped back, before being silenced by Robert's raised arm.
"Very well, I shall declare you disowned from the Lannisters, Tyrion. May you find fortune." Baratheon said, even sounding a little sad.
"Thank you, my king."
---
"Weeeee!!" I was going slowly, about the speed of an arthritic slug, but Tommen was having the time of his life. While he was heavier than Arya, he was still a child and I could manage him easily.
Unfortunately, that was when we were found by Joffrey and Sandor.
"Tommen, what do you think you're doing on top of that beast?" Joffrey demanded. I could smell Tommen's anxiety spike as I lied down for him to scramble off me. Joffrey sneered at me, with a glint in his eye I didn't like.
"I think I will go riding," Joffrey said, reaching for me. As much as I didn't care for the idea of Joffrey riding me, the alternative of leaving Tommen and my box servant, Rhae, with the violent boy didn't suit well with me. So I let Joffrey have his ride and tried to ignore him trying to dig his heels in my sides like he had spurs. As my patience started to wane, Sandor noticed.
"Off the beast Joffrey, she loses patience." He said dryly.
"I will ride as long as I like." Joffrey snapped. Sandor snorted.
"Have you forgotten my family's crest? I know dogs and they will bite if you're too heavy handed with them. Now off, or I'll fetch your Lady Mother," Joffrey froze and reluctantly got off me. Rhae sighed in relief when they left.
"Are you alright Alysanne?" She asked. I shrugged. I'll live and we survived a Joffrey encounter. Tommen was still here and I sighed when I saw him look at me hopefully.
I should start charging for these pony rides.
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