A Funny Thing Happened at the Colosseum
Entropy Judge
Recurring Bouts of Misanthropy
Go meet Hatate at the arena.
You ponder the idea for a minute, then put your notebook away. Cicero sighs in relief and folds in on himself. You give him a look before standing up. "I'll be going now – other business to take care of – but I or Hatate might be back in the next couple days with some more questions." He starts to look up, but you're already moving, opening the door and interrupting the girls' conversation again. You smile briefly, nod, and slip past Sherry. Now, to get to Hatate … you glance at the sun as you step outside. You'll have to hurry, to make sure you get to the arena before she leaves; she might stay longer than the minimum you told her to, but that's unlikely unless whatever they're doing is really interesting to her. And you can't fly – well, you could, and it would probably be faster than going purely on foot, but it would also be complicated, and you'd have to not only find a safe take-off spot, but also a safe landing spot, and since these outer districts are so much busier than the central district, that's harder to be sure of.
You walk quickly, without running or jogging, the heel-toe rhythm of your steps so different than the single impact of your geta. A few people watch you, but your motion isn't that of someone running, so most just ignore you; you aren't making a disruption, after all. Conversations buzz around you – gossip rumors, chatter, business – and you listen impartially. Complaints about prices and about people's actions swirl between people making plans for the day. Tomorrow … tomorrow, you or Hatate will have to go to the best merchant area and just listen. … Maybe not Hatate. For most journalists, that sort of thing would be a reward, but considering how little she likes beings surrounded by people, and how she seems to like working by picking a subject and then researching it thoroughly, maybe she won't like it too much ….
That is something you'll have to make sure to emphasize, though, although of course someone higher up will understand it anyway: the sheer scale of a whole new world. Any younger youkai – those who didn't exist before Gensokyo was created – will have no idea how to deal with such a vast expanse. Even Italica is going to boggle some of them, never mind the capital. And even those that do remember a time before the Barrier will mostly only have Japan as a reference. Sure, some will intellectually understand the greater world, but not that many even went across the sea, let alone traveled farther. And of those who did, most were tengu, which will mean that, apart from your and Hatate's scouting, the tengu will have if not an absolute monopoly, then a significant hold on information power. More than you do in Gensokyo already.
You reach the arena with thoughts on the future still buzzing through your head – thoughts that will remain relevant no matter what world you go to, in all likelihood. The arena is huge, of course, and even the narrow end that you're approaching has a dozen entrances, each with an opened gate. Cheering spills out from the high walls, and you can barely hear what sounds like battle as well. You wait for a few minutes, watching people and the red-painted building, then walk toward one of the entrances. Some young men are talking about the visitors – attendants, you're sure, based on their clothing and the fact that they're placed to interdict anyone entering – and when you draw near, one of them reaches under the counter and places a small, dull green tablet for you to take before returning to his comrades and continuing the conversation. You take the token – painted wood, with a number on it – and, after a moment, proceed through the gate. The walls tell you where to go, and you follow the green stripes as they lead you high into the arena's seats, with the echoing cheers and the clear sounds of combat growing louder. You step out into the open air as you reach the end of the staircase and look around, searching for Hatate.
"... I'm right here," she says, and you turn to look up at the seats immediately behind you. She doesn't look too happy, but she pats the open space next to her on the wooden bench. Her ticket has a cord looping it around her wrist. "Keep your ticket with you; there were some disruptions a couple times, and when the guards came to break them up, they also checked everyone nearby for tickets and dragged away people who didn't have them." She keeps her eyes focused on the arena itself, however, and a glance at her notebook reveals she's been keeping exacting notes. You sit down, noting how most people are sitting farther down … but then, these do appear to be the green seats, while the ones closer are different colors. How do you get 'better' seats? Not that it matters to you or Hatate, of course ….
"What did I miss?" She sighs and shakes her head, and you watch as a blood-covered soldier charges away from his fellows and leaps into the opposing line. "And what sort of match is this?" The other side, more numerous but less well-equipped, recoils for a moment, then explodes toward the thin line of soldiers.
"Well, everything started with an execution. Fifty prisoners, all of whom were offered freedom if they managed to defeat an ushi-oni. It went about as well as you'd expect, and then the ushi-oni was shot down with giant crossbows. Everyone seemed pretty excited about both parts. Oh, and look down there – that specially decorated seating area near the middle. Do you see him?" You glance at Hatate, then peer down to the seats closest to the arena floor. In the most extravagant one, surrounded by a handful of adoring girls, is a handsome brick of a man with pale hair. He squeezes one of the girls against him and turns his head to chat with one of the other men in the seating box.
"... Is that Prince?" Hatate nods.
"Yes. His Highness Zorzal dedicated this event to the Imperial Army – which shall 'soon celebrate a triumph as great as this world has ever seen.' What they're doing, by the way, is recreating some old battle or other. An army detachment was cut off from the rest of the army and surrounded by a group of barbarians. Despite near-starvation and being talked at by the enemy in extremely impolite terms, they haven't surrendered for a week." You watch the attack finally break against the soldiers' resolute defense, and you have to wonder just how many people they kill for entertainment, and how many slave uprisings there are. More importantly, though ….
"'Extremely impolite terms'? Do go on." Hatate flips back a few pages.
"Mmm … 'Surrender now, or we shall feast on your toes, wear the skin from your private parts and buttocks as hats, and use your armor as toilets.' And more along those lines, some of which got really weird. Did you notice that there are children here? I don't think there are more than a couple hundred, but don't they have anything better to do?" You frown down at the arena, where the 'barbarian' forces have finally encircled the soldiers and are chanting …. You look around, but, no, no one is laughing. You are supposed to take a threat like that seriously.
"... Humans are weird," you mutter, and Hatate gives you a look before turning her attention back to the arena floor as the leader of the soldiers walks out of his circle of men, as if to give a speech, or even surrender. Instead of being given the chance to do anything, however, the other side hurls spears at him and charges. The man is knocked down, possibly injured, and certainly overrun by the attackers, who then hurl themselves against the defenders. Based on the reactions of Zorzal – and pretty much everyone else – that wasn't supposed to happen. The soldiers' formation contracts sharply, but then arrows start falling into the arena from archers in the first two rows, and within a couple minutes only the soldiers still live. The surviving officer marches to Zorzal's box and salutes.
"Hail to the Emperor; hail to Prince Zorzal!" The prince returns the salute, and the officer marches his troops out through one of the two large gates into the arena, carrying their dead and wounded with them. Hatate sags limply and you pat her shoulder.
What do you do?
[ ] Back to the roost for some rest.
[ ] You might be fighting a crowd, but it's a good time to see how those baths work.
[ ] Other?
You ponder the idea for a minute, then put your notebook away. Cicero sighs in relief and folds in on himself. You give him a look before standing up. "I'll be going now – other business to take care of – but I or Hatate might be back in the next couple days with some more questions." He starts to look up, but you're already moving, opening the door and interrupting the girls' conversation again. You smile briefly, nod, and slip past Sherry. Now, to get to Hatate … you glance at the sun as you step outside. You'll have to hurry, to make sure you get to the arena before she leaves; she might stay longer than the minimum you told her to, but that's unlikely unless whatever they're doing is really interesting to her. And you can't fly – well, you could, and it would probably be faster than going purely on foot, but it would also be complicated, and you'd have to not only find a safe take-off spot, but also a safe landing spot, and since these outer districts are so much busier than the central district, that's harder to be sure of.
You walk quickly, without running or jogging, the heel-toe rhythm of your steps so different than the single impact of your geta. A few people watch you, but your motion isn't that of someone running, so most just ignore you; you aren't making a disruption, after all. Conversations buzz around you – gossip rumors, chatter, business – and you listen impartially. Complaints about prices and about people's actions swirl between people making plans for the day. Tomorrow … tomorrow, you or Hatate will have to go to the best merchant area and just listen. … Maybe not Hatate. For most journalists, that sort of thing would be a reward, but considering how little she likes beings surrounded by people, and how she seems to like working by picking a subject and then researching it thoroughly, maybe she won't like it too much ….
That is something you'll have to make sure to emphasize, though, although of course someone higher up will understand it anyway: the sheer scale of a whole new world. Any younger youkai – those who didn't exist before Gensokyo was created – will have no idea how to deal with such a vast expanse. Even Italica is going to boggle some of them, never mind the capital. And even those that do remember a time before the Barrier will mostly only have Japan as a reference. Sure, some will intellectually understand the greater world, but not that many even went across the sea, let alone traveled farther. And of those who did, most were tengu, which will mean that, apart from your and Hatate's scouting, the tengu will have if not an absolute monopoly, then a significant hold on information power. More than you do in Gensokyo already.
You reach the arena with thoughts on the future still buzzing through your head – thoughts that will remain relevant no matter what world you go to, in all likelihood. The arena is huge, of course, and even the narrow end that you're approaching has a dozen entrances, each with an opened gate. Cheering spills out from the high walls, and you can barely hear what sounds like battle as well. You wait for a few minutes, watching people and the red-painted building, then walk toward one of the entrances. Some young men are talking about the visitors – attendants, you're sure, based on their clothing and the fact that they're placed to interdict anyone entering – and when you draw near, one of them reaches under the counter and places a small, dull green tablet for you to take before returning to his comrades and continuing the conversation. You take the token – painted wood, with a number on it – and, after a moment, proceed through the gate. The walls tell you where to go, and you follow the green stripes as they lead you high into the arena's seats, with the echoing cheers and the clear sounds of combat growing louder. You step out into the open air as you reach the end of the staircase and look around, searching for Hatate.
"... I'm right here," she says, and you turn to look up at the seats immediately behind you. She doesn't look too happy, but she pats the open space next to her on the wooden bench. Her ticket has a cord looping it around her wrist. "Keep your ticket with you; there were some disruptions a couple times, and when the guards came to break them up, they also checked everyone nearby for tickets and dragged away people who didn't have them." She keeps her eyes focused on the arena itself, however, and a glance at her notebook reveals she's been keeping exacting notes. You sit down, noting how most people are sitting farther down … but then, these do appear to be the green seats, while the ones closer are different colors. How do you get 'better' seats? Not that it matters to you or Hatate, of course ….
"What did I miss?" She sighs and shakes her head, and you watch as a blood-covered soldier charges away from his fellows and leaps into the opposing line. "And what sort of match is this?" The other side, more numerous but less well-equipped, recoils for a moment, then explodes toward the thin line of soldiers.
"Well, everything started with an execution. Fifty prisoners, all of whom were offered freedom if they managed to defeat an ushi-oni. It went about as well as you'd expect, and then the ushi-oni was shot down with giant crossbows. Everyone seemed pretty excited about both parts. Oh, and look down there – that specially decorated seating area near the middle. Do you see him?" You glance at Hatate, then peer down to the seats closest to the arena floor. In the most extravagant one, surrounded by a handful of adoring girls, is a handsome brick of a man with pale hair. He squeezes one of the girls against him and turns his head to chat with one of the other men in the seating box.
"... Is that Prince?" Hatate nods.
"Yes. His Highness Zorzal dedicated this event to the Imperial Army – which shall 'soon celebrate a triumph as great as this world has ever seen.' What they're doing, by the way, is recreating some old battle or other. An army detachment was cut off from the rest of the army and surrounded by a group of barbarians. Despite near-starvation and being talked at by the enemy in extremely impolite terms, they haven't surrendered for a week." You watch the attack finally break against the soldiers' resolute defense, and you have to wonder just how many people they kill for entertainment, and how many slave uprisings there are. More importantly, though ….
"'Extremely impolite terms'? Do go on." Hatate flips back a few pages.
"Mmm … 'Surrender now, or we shall feast on your toes, wear the skin from your private parts and buttocks as hats, and use your armor as toilets.' And more along those lines, some of which got really weird. Did you notice that there are children here? I don't think there are more than a couple hundred, but don't they have anything better to do?" You frown down at the arena, where the 'barbarian' forces have finally encircled the soldiers and are chanting …. You look around, but, no, no one is laughing. You are supposed to take a threat like that seriously.
"... Humans are weird," you mutter, and Hatate gives you a look before turning her attention back to the arena floor as the leader of the soldiers walks out of his circle of men, as if to give a speech, or even surrender. Instead of being given the chance to do anything, however, the other side hurls spears at him and charges. The man is knocked down, possibly injured, and certainly overrun by the attackers, who then hurl themselves against the defenders. Based on the reactions of Zorzal – and pretty much everyone else – that wasn't supposed to happen. The soldiers' formation contracts sharply, but then arrows start falling into the arena from archers in the first two rows, and within a couple minutes only the soldiers still live. The surviving officer marches to Zorzal's box and salutes.
"Hail to the Emperor; hail to Prince Zorzal!" The prince returns the salute, and the officer marches his troops out through one of the two large gates into the arena, carrying their dead and wounded with them. Hatate sags limply and you pat her shoulder.
What do you do?
[ ] Back to the roost for some rest.
[ ] You might be fighting a crowd, but it's a good time to see how those baths work.
[ ] Other?
