S3.5E2: Spoils IV
DeAnno
Sometimes words have two meanings
[X] Buffy and her friends decide they should fight the unknown scraping monster. Buffy's the slayer, she should be able to tip any battle.
"We should probably at least take a look at whatever this thing is before we spend all night trying to play keep away with it in its own maze." Buffy said. "It doesn't sound particularly fast, anyway."
"I still can't even hear anything," Andrew said.
"Slayers have better senses, Andrew." Willow explained. She looked askance at Harmony, still a little weirded out. "Vampires too, I guess."
Buffy and Harmony led them forward to the junction, and then left down the oblique path. The maze seemed featureless with its high wooden walls and narrow corridors, dim light shining down from above. Presumably it was from the candles, still burning in the Mayor's office outside, though Buffy still wasn't quite sure how this shrinking thing worked. Andrew had been babbling about summonings but she didn't see how that made much sense.
They took a winding route through the maze, going past more junctions as well as corners and switchbacks, and finally the sound had gotten loud enough that everyone could hear. Buffy peeked around the corner and saw the creature, a huge metal thing marching down towards them. It took up most of the corridor, wielded a huge club in one hand, and had a wicked set of curved horns, making it clear what it was intended to represent. "Looks like it's us vs. the robo-Minotaur," Buffy reported. It hadn't seemed to notice her, but it wasn't like she could read its face.
"I guess Wilkins had a thing for the classics." Willow commented.
"Well, he was old enough that he might've been around for them," Xander said. Buffy indicated it was moving slowly enough that everyone could look, and when he saw it, he continued, "A big thing for the classics, by the looks of it."
"Technically, it's less than an inch tall." Andrew said. "I wonder if he made it outside and then stuck it in, or if he made it to scale. The challenges of summoning an animating spirit to control a golem already inside a spatial pocket like this are actually-"
"Probably not relevant now." Buffy cut him off. Even at its deliberate pace, they didn't have much time before it reached them. "Will, I assume you're pretty much out of gas? Any surprises up your sleeves for metal monsters?"
"I don't even have any pencils to float." Willow said. "Wilkins' trap didn't exactly bring my bag along for me." Andrew handed her one and took another out from a pocket. He was already taking notes or something on a pad. Buffy figured he might end up turning into a mini-Watcher type, but at least he wasn't Wesley. "Well, this'll be great," Willow continued, brandishing her booby prize. "Maybe I could put its eye out, if it had real eyes."
"I'm sure you'll think of something," Buffy said, then turned to Harmony. "Looks like it's a working interview then." Buffy said. "You go across to the other side of this T and when it reaches the intersection we'll flank it."
"I have to be all alone over there? But you're the slayer, shouldn't you be the one fighting alone?" Harmony complained.
Buffy shooed her over with a push. "Harmony, they barely have one floating pencil between the three of them right now, and I don't trust you enough for you to play defense with me on the other side of Wilkins' toy model of doom. We don't have time to argue, just do it."
"OK, OK, chill out, boss." Harmony got herself set on the other side, while Buffy contemplated the choices she'd made in life that led to vampire Harmony calling her 'boss'.
She didn't have much time to be distracted though, as the creaky construct finally arrived at the junction, turning her way and trying to swing its club right through her. Buffy dodged the ungainly weapon, but the machine was quicker than it looked, and the backswing slammed her right into one of the solid wooden walls.
Harmony was good to her word, but Buffy belatedly realized that she might really have had something to fear from Xander. She was sort of slapping at it from behind, and even though she was presumably doing it with vampire strength, her pathetic form left it unbothered. Suddenly though, it shifted and grabbed her around the stomach with its free hand, then threw her far forward to crash into the knot of retreating Scoobies. None of them seemed too hurt, but it let the Minotaur gain ground on them all as they got up.
As it moved forward, it ignored Buffy's prone form, letting her take advantage. "Hey, what am I not good enough for you? I may work in an office now, but I still slay." She didn't bother to get to her feet, diving at it low and trying to trip it up. It was too solid for her to knock down, but she tangled up its legs and it stomped at her ineffectually as she rolled around it. She rolled to dodge another swing of its club, but that let it hit her with its bronze hoof and send her flying back across the intersection.
She was about to get back into the fray with it, but before she could it slammed its big club against the wooden floor, and the whole maze reacted. There was a clicking sound of clockwork in the walls, and then the junction flipped, a wall swinging around through ninety degrees and blocking Buffy off from the fight. Similar noises all around her let her know the whole maze had probably changed, she had no idea how to get back to her friends and save them from the Minotaur. Even worse, they were alone with Harmony; who knew what she might do now?
In frustration, she tried to punch her way through the wall, but only got a sore hand for her troubles, not even leaving a dent. "Stupid indestructible magic maze." Normal wood would've totally been splinters if she hit it that hard.
With a groan of frustration, she quickly sprinted off in another direction, hoping she could navigate around somehow to get back to the fight. She knew her friends could outrun the slow-footed Minotaur for a while, but worried that it might use its trick again to catch them in a surprise dead end. It clearly hadn't been after her either, so unless it was specifically looking to divide and conquer that meant one of the others was its primary target for some reason. Probably Willow, since she cast the spell that triggered it and this whole setup seemed automatic.
After some rushed navigation, she could hear grinding gears and the shouts of battle again and knew she was on the right track. She went down another couple corridors, and just as she thought she was getting close, the maze started shifting again. She wasn't letting herself be cut off this time though, and dived forward just as the passage she needed closed off; she got through safely, but her left shoe was a casualty of war. Trust Wilkins to act all statesmanlike and affable but still be ruining her wardrobe from beyond the grave.
Rolling back into a run and kicking off her other shoe at the same time, Buffy rounded the last corner and saw the machine had indeed backed her friends up against the wall. They were doing a lot better than she expected though. Xander was up in its face despite his injury, mostly just being yanked around with its club arm but still a distraction, and Harmony was gamely attacking it, not showing great form but at least avoiding being grappled again.
Behind them, Willow had a couple pencils in the air now, and was shoving them into spaces right inside its joints to slow it down. It was able to grind right through them, but its movements were clumsier than before so the barrage might be having internal effects. Lastly, Andrew was not only a supplier of pencils, but seemed to think he was some kind of bard. He'd gotten a harmonica out from somewhere and was frantically playing an odd tune while looking at some of his notes.
Buffy didn't have any more time to evaluate the situation, and attacked from behind with a heavy two handed blow. She'd learned it was tough enough to endure small hits and stable enough to avoid being knocked down, so she'd just have to beat it to death. It turned for her again, basically ignoring the feeble assaults of Xander and Harmony, but before it could fully engage, Andrew hit a sharp note and it froze in place for critical seconds. Buffy improvised, grabbing its own massive club out of its unmoving hand, and smashed it with a hefty overhand swing just as it started moving again.
It tried to fight her, but with its reach advantage lost her superior speed became a big factor. She hit it again and again, and unlike her earlier unarmed attacks these left visible damage, denting its metal armor and warping vulnerable joints out of alignment. It still took a while to finish it off, but minutes later its broken body finally stopped moving, and Buffy's new club was barely in one piece anymore.
After a last look at her weapon, she threw it to the side and examined her friends for new injuries. They were scuffed up a bit, but didn't seem much worse for wear, thankfully. "Well. That was a fun way to waste some time. How about we play Marco Polo next?"
Despite Buffy's upbeat words, the group was pretty tuckered out after that. Andrew and Willow picked at the construct and occasionally exchanged jargony claims about it, while the rest of them just sat around in the fading candle-skylight. Harmony had ended up being more reliable than Buffy had guessed, and Andrew had been a good deal more competent. She kind of regretted shutting him down so hard during the fight, but he had persevered anyway and didn't seem to hold or even register a grudge, so she figured it was all good.
Harmony and Xander were sitting across from each other now, sort of exchanging awkward looks. She wasn't sure where that was going to end up, but she wagered that their next round of bickering would at least be a little less toxic. She still dreaded the upcoming talk about Harmony with Giles, but at least it wouldn't be as much of a two-on-one anymore.
Eventually, just as the candles were more or less out and the maze had darkened past anyone but Harmony seeing that well, there was a distorted noise from above and everything brightened up a lot. Andrew started from his nap against the wall, Harmony squinted and vamped out again, and Xander said "And it's the cavalry in good form, hours too late."
Willow tried screaming for help, and surprisingly after a little bit a giant Giles appeared up in the air above the maze. Buffy figured that either sound must echo out of it really well or the Mayor had built in speakers for his sadist enjoyment. The ground shook momentarily as he seemed to mess with the mechanism, and then with a click there was a rush of wind and another flash, fading away with everyone appearing full size again back in the office.
Giles wasn't the only one to receive them; Joyce standing there looking shocked too. Before either of them could get a word in though, Willow made with the explanations. "We were de-ratting Amy which I really thoroughly researched and performed extra-safely with a capable spotter, but the Mayor left a really clever totally unpredictable booby trap in his office and we've been stuck in it for three hours."
"None of that explains why you have a vampire with you, Willow," Giles said a little distractedly as he stepped in front of Joyce and fumbled around in his pockets for a stake. It was a little unfortunate they couldn't have gone into this explanation with Harmony untransformed, in hindsight.
Buffy sighed. "Giles, Harmony. Harmony, Giles. You may know each other. Giles, despite appearances and it not really making much sense, Harmony seems pretty housebroken. She didn't even make any messes when I was out doing my nails."
"Harmony?" Giles asked. "Oh, yes, the resemblance is obvious now. Did she become ensouled somehow? Something to do with Angel's presence on the battlefield, perhaps?"
"Soul this, soul that, is there really no vampire that ever did anything reasonable in history besides Angel?" Harmony said. She shook her head violently, managing to change back to human again.
"Come to think of it, Spike can usually manage to stick to a deal," Buffy said. "He still eats people and causes trouble though."
"I think it's probably just the way he was raised," Joyce said. "If you just give Spike a chance he isn't so bad." She looked at Harmony, and stepped around a now flummoxed Giles. "I'm sure you can stay on the straight and narrow if you put your mind to it dear."
"Truly prosocial behavior from an unmodified vampire would be unprecedented," Giles said. He didn't seem to want to question Buffy's judgement, but pressed on, "Are you truly certain-"
"Nope. Not certain at all," Buffy said. "But she's earned a chance for probation at least, even if we might have to make with a more solid thing long term."
"Harmony, the good vampire without a soul, a warrior so trustworthy death itself was not her match..." Andrew intoned dramatically. Most of them rolled their eyes, but Harmony herself smiled appreciatively of his effort.
Giles just turned to Willow, sighing. "Don't think I've forgotten about this spell mishap. I trust you've learned to always cast in a well-known and controlled environment in the future?" He looked around the messy office disapprovingly.
"Definitely! Clean room conditions for me, from now on," Willow said. "I did get the spell right for Amy though, it was just interrupted." She looked to check that Amy hadn't gotten away, and luckily Amy hadn't left her enclosure, even though it was still open on top. She gave a sad little squeak as Willow worriedly inspected her and put the top back on, and rubbed her ratty nose against the glass.
"Wait," Joyce said, just paying attention to Amy after all the focus on Harmony. "Is that the girl from earlier this year? I'd thought that turning into a rat and back was just something she did. Has she been a rat all this time?" Joyce was looking a little guilty.
"Reversing someone else's spell safely is complicated!" Willow defended, misinterpreting Joyce's comment.
"Indeed," said Giles. "It's getting late though, and I daresay none of you have eaten properly." He gave Harmony a significant look at that, and she nodded apologetically, fanging out again at the idea of food. "Do we want to move this to a safer location and finish it tonight, or see to our own needs and adjourn until morning?"
Vote:
[] De-rat Amy now before anything else goes wrong. It'll only take another half-hour or so, and who knows how crazy she's going as a rat? And if she's listening to all this somehow she might be devastated by an unnecessary delay.
[] Everyone should probably get food and sleep, de-rat Amy tomorrow. Sleepy casters and hungry vampires are a bad mix for spells. Amy will have to do her run on the wheel for one more night.
"We should probably at least take a look at whatever this thing is before we spend all night trying to play keep away with it in its own maze." Buffy said. "It doesn't sound particularly fast, anyway."
"I still can't even hear anything," Andrew said.
"Slayers have better senses, Andrew." Willow explained. She looked askance at Harmony, still a little weirded out. "Vampires too, I guess."
Buffy and Harmony led them forward to the junction, and then left down the oblique path. The maze seemed featureless with its high wooden walls and narrow corridors, dim light shining down from above. Presumably it was from the candles, still burning in the Mayor's office outside, though Buffy still wasn't quite sure how this shrinking thing worked. Andrew had been babbling about summonings but she didn't see how that made much sense.
They took a winding route through the maze, going past more junctions as well as corners and switchbacks, and finally the sound had gotten loud enough that everyone could hear. Buffy peeked around the corner and saw the creature, a huge metal thing marching down towards them. It took up most of the corridor, wielded a huge club in one hand, and had a wicked set of curved horns, making it clear what it was intended to represent. "Looks like it's us vs. the robo-Minotaur," Buffy reported. It hadn't seemed to notice her, but it wasn't like she could read its face.
"I guess Wilkins had a thing for the classics." Willow commented.
"Well, he was old enough that he might've been around for them," Xander said. Buffy indicated it was moving slowly enough that everyone could look, and when he saw it, he continued, "A big thing for the classics, by the looks of it."
"Technically, it's less than an inch tall." Andrew said. "I wonder if he made it outside and then stuck it in, or if he made it to scale. The challenges of summoning an animating spirit to control a golem already inside a spatial pocket like this are actually-"
"Probably not relevant now." Buffy cut him off. Even at its deliberate pace, they didn't have much time before it reached them. "Will, I assume you're pretty much out of gas? Any surprises up your sleeves for metal monsters?"
"I don't even have any pencils to float." Willow said. "Wilkins' trap didn't exactly bring my bag along for me." Andrew handed her one and took another out from a pocket. He was already taking notes or something on a pad. Buffy figured he might end up turning into a mini-Watcher type, but at least he wasn't Wesley. "Well, this'll be great," Willow continued, brandishing her booby prize. "Maybe I could put its eye out, if it had real eyes."
"I'm sure you'll think of something," Buffy said, then turned to Harmony. "Looks like it's a working interview then." Buffy said. "You go across to the other side of this T and when it reaches the intersection we'll flank it."
"I have to be all alone over there? But you're the slayer, shouldn't you be the one fighting alone?" Harmony complained.
Buffy shooed her over with a push. "Harmony, they barely have one floating pencil between the three of them right now, and I don't trust you enough for you to play defense with me on the other side of Wilkins' toy model of doom. We don't have time to argue, just do it."
"OK, OK, chill out, boss." Harmony got herself set on the other side, while Buffy contemplated the choices she'd made in life that led to vampire Harmony calling her 'boss'.
She didn't have much time to be distracted though, as the creaky construct finally arrived at the junction, turning her way and trying to swing its club right through her. Buffy dodged the ungainly weapon, but the machine was quicker than it looked, and the backswing slammed her right into one of the solid wooden walls.
Harmony was good to her word, but Buffy belatedly realized that she might really have had something to fear from Xander. She was sort of slapping at it from behind, and even though she was presumably doing it with vampire strength, her pathetic form left it unbothered. Suddenly though, it shifted and grabbed her around the stomach with its free hand, then threw her far forward to crash into the knot of retreating Scoobies. None of them seemed too hurt, but it let the Minotaur gain ground on them all as they got up.
As it moved forward, it ignored Buffy's prone form, letting her take advantage. "Hey, what am I not good enough for you? I may work in an office now, but I still slay." She didn't bother to get to her feet, diving at it low and trying to trip it up. It was too solid for her to knock down, but she tangled up its legs and it stomped at her ineffectually as she rolled around it. She rolled to dodge another swing of its club, but that let it hit her with its bronze hoof and send her flying back across the intersection.
She was about to get back into the fray with it, but before she could it slammed its big club against the wooden floor, and the whole maze reacted. There was a clicking sound of clockwork in the walls, and then the junction flipped, a wall swinging around through ninety degrees and blocking Buffy off from the fight. Similar noises all around her let her know the whole maze had probably changed, she had no idea how to get back to her friends and save them from the Minotaur. Even worse, they were alone with Harmony; who knew what she might do now?
In frustration, she tried to punch her way through the wall, but only got a sore hand for her troubles, not even leaving a dent. "Stupid indestructible magic maze." Normal wood would've totally been splinters if she hit it that hard.
With a groan of frustration, she quickly sprinted off in another direction, hoping she could navigate around somehow to get back to the fight. She knew her friends could outrun the slow-footed Minotaur for a while, but worried that it might use its trick again to catch them in a surprise dead end. It clearly hadn't been after her either, so unless it was specifically looking to divide and conquer that meant one of the others was its primary target for some reason. Probably Willow, since she cast the spell that triggered it and this whole setup seemed automatic.
After some rushed navigation, she could hear grinding gears and the shouts of battle again and knew she was on the right track. She went down another couple corridors, and just as she thought she was getting close, the maze started shifting again. She wasn't letting herself be cut off this time though, and dived forward just as the passage she needed closed off; she got through safely, but her left shoe was a casualty of war. Trust Wilkins to act all statesmanlike and affable but still be ruining her wardrobe from beyond the grave.
Rolling back into a run and kicking off her other shoe at the same time, Buffy rounded the last corner and saw the machine had indeed backed her friends up against the wall. They were doing a lot better than she expected though. Xander was up in its face despite his injury, mostly just being yanked around with its club arm but still a distraction, and Harmony was gamely attacking it, not showing great form but at least avoiding being grappled again.
Behind them, Willow had a couple pencils in the air now, and was shoving them into spaces right inside its joints to slow it down. It was able to grind right through them, but its movements were clumsier than before so the barrage might be having internal effects. Lastly, Andrew was not only a supplier of pencils, but seemed to think he was some kind of bard. He'd gotten a harmonica out from somewhere and was frantically playing an odd tune while looking at some of his notes.
Buffy didn't have any more time to evaluate the situation, and attacked from behind with a heavy two handed blow. She'd learned it was tough enough to endure small hits and stable enough to avoid being knocked down, so she'd just have to beat it to death. It turned for her again, basically ignoring the feeble assaults of Xander and Harmony, but before it could fully engage, Andrew hit a sharp note and it froze in place for critical seconds. Buffy improvised, grabbing its own massive club out of its unmoving hand, and smashed it with a hefty overhand swing just as it started moving again.
It tried to fight her, but with its reach advantage lost her superior speed became a big factor. She hit it again and again, and unlike her earlier unarmed attacks these left visible damage, denting its metal armor and warping vulnerable joints out of alignment. It still took a while to finish it off, but minutes later its broken body finally stopped moving, and Buffy's new club was barely in one piece anymore.
After a last look at her weapon, she threw it to the side and examined her friends for new injuries. They were scuffed up a bit, but didn't seem much worse for wear, thankfully. "Well. That was a fun way to waste some time. How about we play Marco Polo next?"
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Despite Buffy's upbeat words, the group was pretty tuckered out after that. Andrew and Willow picked at the construct and occasionally exchanged jargony claims about it, while the rest of them just sat around in the fading candle-skylight. Harmony had ended up being more reliable than Buffy had guessed, and Andrew had been a good deal more competent. She kind of regretted shutting him down so hard during the fight, but he had persevered anyway and didn't seem to hold or even register a grudge, so she figured it was all good.
Harmony and Xander were sitting across from each other now, sort of exchanging awkward looks. She wasn't sure where that was going to end up, but she wagered that their next round of bickering would at least be a little less toxic. She still dreaded the upcoming talk about Harmony with Giles, but at least it wouldn't be as much of a two-on-one anymore.
Eventually, just as the candles were more or less out and the maze had darkened past anyone but Harmony seeing that well, there was a distorted noise from above and everything brightened up a lot. Andrew started from his nap against the wall, Harmony squinted and vamped out again, and Xander said "And it's the cavalry in good form, hours too late."
Willow tried screaming for help, and surprisingly after a little bit a giant Giles appeared up in the air above the maze. Buffy figured that either sound must echo out of it really well or the Mayor had built in speakers for his sadist enjoyment. The ground shook momentarily as he seemed to mess with the mechanism, and then with a click there was a rush of wind and another flash, fading away with everyone appearing full size again back in the office.
Giles wasn't the only one to receive them; Joyce standing there looking shocked too. Before either of them could get a word in though, Willow made with the explanations. "We were de-ratting Amy which I really thoroughly researched and performed extra-safely with a capable spotter, but the Mayor left a really clever totally unpredictable booby trap in his office and we've been stuck in it for three hours."
"None of that explains why you have a vampire with you, Willow," Giles said a little distractedly as he stepped in front of Joyce and fumbled around in his pockets for a stake. It was a little unfortunate they couldn't have gone into this explanation with Harmony untransformed, in hindsight.
Buffy sighed. "Giles, Harmony. Harmony, Giles. You may know each other. Giles, despite appearances and it not really making much sense, Harmony seems pretty housebroken. She didn't even make any messes when I was out doing my nails."
"Harmony?" Giles asked. "Oh, yes, the resemblance is obvious now. Did she become ensouled somehow? Something to do with Angel's presence on the battlefield, perhaps?"
"Soul this, soul that, is there really no vampire that ever did anything reasonable in history besides Angel?" Harmony said. She shook her head violently, managing to change back to human again.
"Come to think of it, Spike can usually manage to stick to a deal," Buffy said. "He still eats people and causes trouble though."
"I think it's probably just the way he was raised," Joyce said. "If you just give Spike a chance he isn't so bad." She looked at Harmony, and stepped around a now flummoxed Giles. "I'm sure you can stay on the straight and narrow if you put your mind to it dear."
"Truly prosocial behavior from an unmodified vampire would be unprecedented," Giles said. He didn't seem to want to question Buffy's judgement, but pressed on, "Are you truly certain-"
"Nope. Not certain at all," Buffy said. "But she's earned a chance for probation at least, even if we might have to make with a more solid thing long term."
"Harmony, the good vampire without a soul, a warrior so trustworthy death itself was not her match..." Andrew intoned dramatically. Most of them rolled their eyes, but Harmony herself smiled appreciatively of his effort.
Giles just turned to Willow, sighing. "Don't think I've forgotten about this spell mishap. I trust you've learned to always cast in a well-known and controlled environment in the future?" He looked around the messy office disapprovingly.
"Definitely! Clean room conditions for me, from now on," Willow said. "I did get the spell right for Amy though, it was just interrupted." She looked to check that Amy hadn't gotten away, and luckily Amy hadn't left her enclosure, even though it was still open on top. She gave a sad little squeak as Willow worriedly inspected her and put the top back on, and rubbed her ratty nose against the glass.
"Wait," Joyce said, just paying attention to Amy after all the focus on Harmony. "Is that the girl from earlier this year? I'd thought that turning into a rat and back was just something she did. Has she been a rat all this time?" Joyce was looking a little guilty.
"Reversing someone else's spell safely is complicated!" Willow defended, misinterpreting Joyce's comment.
"Indeed," said Giles. "It's getting late though, and I daresay none of you have eaten properly." He gave Harmony a significant look at that, and she nodded apologetically, fanging out again at the idea of food. "Do we want to move this to a safer location and finish it tonight, or see to our own needs and adjourn until morning?"
Vote:
[] De-rat Amy now before anything else goes wrong. It'll only take another half-hour or so, and who knows how crazy she's going as a rat? And if she's listening to all this somehow she might be devastated by an unnecessary delay.
[] Everyone should probably get food and sleep, de-rat Amy tomorrow. Sleepy casters and hungry vampires are a bad mix for spells. Amy will have to do her run on the wheel for one more night.
