Starfinder (Worm/Starfinder RPG)
- Thread starter Bowlerhat Guy
- Start date
Ye and the fact that they gave it to some mook shows how wasteful they are. But I'm thinking it was Coil who stole it from the Empire to sic our boy onto them. Imagine Calverts face when Piggy catches him lol.
Fame is a Stupid Game Mechanic
- Pronouns
- He
"Don't you have like… other friends?" Vicky asked sourly from where she was sitting next to me, sorting through random bits of her jewelry, all of which was currently strewn across a folding table I had bought just so she didn't have to do it on the floor.
"Yeah, tons. But I can't talk to them about, you know- this stuff." Emma returned evenly, having - over the last day or two - become accustomed to Vicky and thus, no longer getting put on the backfoot by her passive aggressiveness.
Vicky snorted.
"Sure you can't." She grumbled under her breath.
"Vicky, I have a secret identity." I reminded her, because honestly, she sometimes literally forgot that she couldn't call me Starfinder in public. I think that, in her head, she was friends with Starfinder before she was friends with John. I didn't dislike that - it was professional to a certain point - but it made for some weird slip ups occasionally.
I could sort of see why Dean being Gallant was like, the worst kept secret in the city though. Vicky was clearly dating Dean, and equally, was clearly overly friendly with Gallant, ipso facto…
"Yeah, but…" Vicky grumbled before letting it go. "I don't know what any of these stones are." She eventually said, changing the subject.
"I just need you to sort the stuff you don't mind breaking or losing." I reminded her.
"Yeah but you said you can only make me something interesting with more expensive stuff." She complained.
"So, what, you'd rather have a gaudy necklace than tinkertech? Are you stupid?" Emma asked snidely.
"Unlike you I actually have to make sure I look good so that I don't embarrass my family who are famous." Vicky returned hotly.
I smiled brittlely at the exchange, and tried not to let it bother me too much.
I only had to get through tomorrow and then I'd never have to be in the same room as both of them together ever again.
"They're just party tricks Emma. Helpful but nothing game breaking." I pointed out tiredly.
I had realized a while ago that the difficulty involved in making hard tech based items, was different than that presented by purely magical items. It was hard to get a hold of the processors and chips and things you needed to make an electronic device function. It was hard to source the tech I'd need to bootstrap my way up to Starfinder appropriate computers and such.
But magic usually called for things that were more symbolically valuable than they actually were. I could turn just about any gemstone or uniquely coloured rock into an Aeon Stone, because Aeon Stones were basically just enchanted rocks. There were a billion different varieties of the things, and to a one all they really did was hover around you giving you extremely minor bonuses to things. The only reason they were of any value at all is the fact that you could equip an unlimited number of them. In Starfinder it wasn't uncommon to see a high level adventurer with a solid halo of the things orbiting their head.
And as useful as being able to breath underwater, or go without food was… it wasn't going to change the outcome of a Cape fight except in very specific scenarios.
Still, as far as I could tell, while my mechanical equipment suffered from the usual Tinkertech maintenance requirements, my magical stuff did not. It was less tinkertech and more like a pure power expression. If I made an Aeon Stone, it wouldn't degrade or stop working unless it was physically damaged by something, and the same was true for every piece of gear I could make that ran entirely on magical principles.
That was why I wasn't that worried about the mook who had apparently shot Vicky with my old stuff. I'd be surprised if the gun even worked still at this point.
"If they're not a big deal why don't I get one?" Emma pressed, crossing her arms under her chest - very deliberately I might add - and pouting at me.
God save me from petulant teenagers.
"Look, if it will get you two to stop arguing-" I started.
"We aren't arguing." Vicky said instantly.
I shot her a look that she had the good graces to be embarrassed by, then continued.
"-then I'll see if I can fiddle some stuff up for you. But only for emergencies and self defence okay? If you get me in trouble because you used some of my tech wrong I will be furious." I finished.
Amy and Sophia had realized from moment one that they didn't want to be around for this and I didn't blame them. I'd see them both to plot our illicit patrol out and everything tomorrow. But for now, I was in hell - and I hated it.
"And quit insulting each other." I growled, well past the point of wanting them to get along and not appreciating the smug look Emma sent Vicky's way after my previous statement.
Emma didn't have the good graces to be embarrassed by that.
She just looked annoyed.
I wanted to sigh in exasperation but Merlin had recently started counting them when I did it, and as it turned out, I sighed kind of a lot.
So instead, I returned to trimming dead nodules off of the bioarmor I was growing - thankfully free of stench as a byproduct of the specific fungus being used - and did my best to ignore the fact that there was about fifteen square meters of space in the room but only about six inches between me and the two other people present.
I seriously needed more male friends.
"Am I in trouble for something?" I asked the morning before Amy's first patrol, having been called into the PRT headquarters nearly an hour ahead of my shift, and been told to 'wear something nice'.
I don't think I even owned something nice, so I just defaulted to the fitted t-shirt and jeans Vicky had forced on me. They were markedly less comfortable than my looser clothing, so I tried to avoid them where possible - but sometimes I woke up to find Aunty had thrown all my other stuff in the wash.
I still wasn't really used to being 'taken care of', so I was often blindsided when I was reminded I didn't have to cook my own meals or clean my own clothes. Aunty even praised me because she never had to tell me to shower which was… uncomfortable.
"No." Was Armsmasters singularly unhelpful response.
"Then what's with the guard detail? I feel like I'm being brought before a parole board." I complained as the transport we were in pulled into a parking space underneath the PHQ.
Armsmaster, to his credit, winced at that.
"You aren't being punished. The director ordered that you have a full member of the Protectorate with you when operating as a Ward." He explained. He didn't seem any happier about it than I was, which begged the question…
"For how long? And why hasn't anyone brought this up before? It's been like three days since the attack!" I argued heatedly.
"You weren't on active patrol and have been traveling to the headquarters with Shadow Stalker. It was deemed adequate." He replied, pulling his seatbelt off and moving to exit the van.
"So am I going on patrol today then?" I asked, having not actually had to do that yet. Apparently my first aborted public appearance was enough to make Piggot leery of sending me out in public.
Boy was she not going to like hearing about tonight's patrol after the fact. I was under no illusion that she wouldn't find out. I wasn't going to go out of my way to tell her - or anyone, for that matter - but I was too good at finding criminals with Merlin to expect a 'quiet' evening.
And that was assuming some random bystander didn't just snap a picture of us traveling and put it on PHO.
"Note to self, Camouflage Cape." I mentally sent.
"I will remind you as soon as it is relevant, sir." Merlin responded.
"Yes. But that's not why you're here right now. The Director wanted to reward you as an apology for your botched debut." Armsmaster rattled off in a bland tone.
"The Director wanted that?" I asked incredulously, having a hard time believing the woman cared whether I lived or died.
Armsmaster paused and turned to me then, shooting me a searching look.
"The Director does care about you all." He said with such adamant conviction it threw me off for a moment.
"Yeah but- I mean me specifically? I'm pretty sure I just annoy her." I said with an awkward shrug.
"People annoy each other all the time. That doesn't mean they don't care." He said, continuing on his way.
I opted not to keep the line of conversation going. I didn't even really disagree - I just didn't believe Piggot cared that much about me. About any Parahuman really. That didn't make her a bad person though. Parahumans suck - you had to be crazy by default just to be one, even if that wasn't immediately apparent to most people.
"So, I do this mystery meeting, and then suit up for a weeny patrol somewhere nice and safe with you?" I asked, just to clarify.
"They are not 'weeny' patrols." Armsmaster said bluntly.
See, now I could tell I was annoying him.
"Yeah, and statistically, there's pretty much always a small chance that the bank you are in gets robbed - but even here in spandexland that's shockingly unlikely. I'm not offended by it sir - I'm just not going to lie to myself about it. I'm okay with hoisting the flag." I drawled, knowing what he probably thought my opinion was.
The truth was, I agreed one hundred percent with the youth guard. Children shouldn't fight crime, period. No matter what their powers were.
The unfortunate reality, however, was that Parahumans were physically incapable of avoiding conflict. So there had to be a middle ground.
My preferred method of handling that issue was to make any conflict so one sidedly in my favour that it barely counted as a fight at all.
"Try not to talk like that in public." Armsmaster warned me, knowing better than to lecture me on a topic I didn't even disagree with.
"Yeah, I went to the same public speaking classes as everyone else, boss." I said again.
I get lippy when I'm anxious, could you tell? And not knowing what the hell was waiting for me as we traveled further into the building was only making it worse.
At length, we ended up taking the elevator up to one of the upper floors - where all the offices and paperwork were - and I was led to a room I had hoped never to come into ever again.
"Ah. This is why you're here." I said, measuring my odds of getting past Armsmaster to reach the elevator and rating them as low.
"It's a good thing, I promise." He said with a put upon sigh and a nod towards the door that led into the PR department.
"Say it less deadpan next time and maybe I'll even believe you." I grumbled, then paused before entering the room. "Have you made any progress on those isolated systems you wanted me to give you some spellcode on?" I asked.
"I've been working on it between upgrades to my armor. It isn't complicated but incorporating the crystal processors you specify is causing me issues." He conceded.
I stopped where I was and turned back around to face him.
"I could help with that a bit? There might be a component my power facilitates that yours doesn't. Tinkertech doesn't really crossover, our powers just make up their own similar looking versions of stuff we see." I explained, which earned me a very strange look from the man.
"Your Thinker power?" He asked curiously.
"Sure, probably." I answered noncommittally.
"Hm. I'll book some of your base time for it." He grunted.
"While we're at it, I can make these weapon seal things that you might be able to-" I began.
"This meeting is scheduled. Stop stalling. We can talk shop on patrol." He ordered me sternly.
I scowled at him - then hunched my shoulders and turned back towards the door with a sigh.
"Twelfth one today." Merlin noted much to my annoyance.
"I've only been awake for like two hours. How?" I asked him incredulously, even as I maintained a perfectly straight face on my quick walk up to the front desk in the office.
The trick to holding two conversations at once is remembering which one you are supposed to react to. You wouldn't think I'd get much value out of that skill, but so much of my communication these days was psychic in nature that it had become common for me.
"You missed a phone call from Victoria this morning, and it made you anxious." Merlin explained.
"Starfinder, correct?" The middle aged woman at the desk asked me politely as I approached.
"Yeah, that's me." I confirmed warily.
"She wanted to know my opinion on what to wear for her date Merlin. I don't fucking care, and I doubt Dean does either." I grumbled.
"And yet you are still anxious." He returned.
"Because when I called back she hung up on me!" I complained.
"Right this way," the woman - the nameplate on her desk read Stacy - said, standing and directing me to one of the three offices adjoining this waiting room.
I'm pretty sure that people share those offices though - because the PR department had a mind boggling number of people in it. The guy who draws concept art and the guy who sells action figures probably weren't doing the same things as the guys who papered over public fuckups.
The room I was led into reminded me of my dad's office, back when he was alive. My… actual dad, not this body's dad. Little framed newspaper clippings lined the walls, all of them big moments for the guy who owned the office, broken up only by the occasional degree or other piece of memorabilia. A bag full of golf clubs sat unused in one corner of the office collecting dust, and the blinds behind the desk were closed, letting only a slight trickle of light into the room.
"John! So nice to meet you, I know they give Tinkers a longer leash with PR than most! This meeting has been long overdue! I'm Derrick and I'll be your agent going forward." He said with an aggressively happy tone of voice, rising and walking around his desk to offer me his hand.
Derrick looked like one of the guys from Mr Laborns gym. He was huge, he was ripped as hell, and his perfect shining teeth and slicked back blond hair made me feel like I was talking to a carefully crafted robot rather than a person.
"Uh…huh…" I said, reaching up to grab the guys hand and being surprised by the gentle shake he gave it.
I had been kind of expecting him to do the 'look how strong my grip is bro' thing - but I guess testing your strength for dominance wasn't something sane adults did when dealing with teenagers.
"Thanks for leading him in l, Stacy!" Derrick said with a wave as the secretary quietly left the room behind us. I hadn't even noticed her move because Derrick was so… large. Not just physically, although his clearly tailored suit looked like someone had painted it directly on to the man, but rather… His personality was large. It didn't leave a lot of room for paying attention to anyone else.
"Now! I know you're wondering why you're here and wow do I have a surprise for you. Look, I've even got some samples here, go ahead and pick one - doesn't matter which." He said, grabbing a series of small boxes and dumping them unceremoniously in front of me.
I lifted an eyebrow at him.
"Ah don't look at me like that. I know you kids don't like coming here but sometimes we can be cool too okay?" He assured me.
"Okay, fine. Gimme this one then." I said, pointing at a box at random.
"Good choice! And the prize is-" Derrick said with a perturbing glee. The guy was almost too happy, to the point where it felt borderline medicated.
Then he pulled out an action figure, and quite frankly, I don't really know how I felt about it.
"…what the hell am I looking at?" I asked flatly.
"This, is the Starfinder MK2 with fully articulated arm and leg joints!" He said for emphasis, holding up the white and orange toy that mimicked my Odinson loadout. He flicked a button on the back and the domed helmet lit up, and noise came out of it.
"As long as there are stars in the sky, I'll protect you!" It said, loudly, proudly, and most unpleasantly of all, in my voice.
Sixty different things raced through my head at that moment. Why was it called the Starfinder MK2? I never called it that - I even made sure Odinson was the listed name on all my paperwork when I'd had Armsmaster review my specifications. What the hell was it saying? I had never said anything like that. In fact, I barely spoke at all when I was fighting. Who had time for that?
However, at the end of the day, I was wise enough to accept that this crap probably paid for a significant amount of my Tinkering budget. So I sucked it up, and pointed at the next box.
"A-and that one?" I asked slowly.
Derrick's smile didn't falter for even a second as he carefully put the toy down and pulled open the next box, handing me what was inside.
"…a dvd box set of 'hit tv drama' Cape Heights?" I read out loud, squinting at the box art and failing to recognize even a single character on it.
"Yes! I'm glad you asked because actually this is the big one for you. All the big names have at least cameo'd on this. We're hoping to get you up to Boston to film the next season before the end of summer!" He cheered.
I leaned away from him so hard and fast that I nearly tipped over the chair I was sitting in.
"Sorry?" I asked weakly.
"Filming is a few weeks tops, and they won't make you a main character unless you test really well, but next season calls for a Cape healer and the news has been showing your selfless medic bit for a few days now so-" he blathered, even though I had started dissociating pretty much the minute he reminded me of the attack.
I stared blankly ahead of myself for the next two minutes while Derrick said… something… and only felt myself being drawn back into the conversation by Merlins subtle prodding when I realized the PR guy was watching me expectantly.
"I- what if I… don't… want to be on tv?" I asked carefully.
"Well…" Derrick said, taking on a thoughtful but serious expression as he looked at me.
"I can't recommend it. Even if you aren't a fan of the series or public appearances, this is one of the few jobs we can give a Ward that pays up front. I'm given to understand your budget is starting to grow… thin." Derrick said diplomatically. I scowled at him.
"You're a fucker you know that?" I said by way of answering him.
"I have never met a teenager less excited to be on tv, if I'm honest. I didn't think this would take any convincing." He admitted.
"Oh I'm convinced but fuck you still." I grumbled.
These motherfuckers didn't know the kind of bullshit I could conjure up with access to my own money. They wanted me to go on their stupid show? Fine.
But I was gonna take the cash from that, and I was going to build a space shuttle or flying car or something, and they were going to regret it.
"I can tell you need some time to think on it, so - last box - boom! Starfinder underwear! Whatcha think?" He asked, hoisting up an orange and white pair of boxers and a similarly coloured pair of panties.
Five minutes later when Armsmaster came to get me for our patrol, there wasn't an ounce of shame on my face at the fire alarm I had triggered by setting the box on fire.
I liked to think he, of all people, understood.
A/N: Just a quicky, not a lot of actual time passing here.
"Yeah, tons. But I can't talk to them about, you know- this stuff." Emma returned evenly, having - over the last day or two - become accustomed to Vicky and thus, no longer getting put on the backfoot by her passive aggressiveness.
Vicky snorted.
"Sure you can't." She grumbled under her breath.
"Vicky, I have a secret identity." I reminded her, because honestly, she sometimes literally forgot that she couldn't call me Starfinder in public. I think that, in her head, she was friends with Starfinder before she was friends with John. I didn't dislike that - it was professional to a certain point - but it made for some weird slip ups occasionally.
I could sort of see why Dean being Gallant was like, the worst kept secret in the city though. Vicky was clearly dating Dean, and equally, was clearly overly friendly with Gallant, ipso facto…
"Yeah, but…" Vicky grumbled before letting it go. "I don't know what any of these stones are." She eventually said, changing the subject.
"I just need you to sort the stuff you don't mind breaking or losing." I reminded her.
"Yeah but you said you can only make me something interesting with more expensive stuff." She complained.
"So, what, you'd rather have a gaudy necklace than tinkertech? Are you stupid?" Emma asked snidely.
"Unlike you I actually have to make sure I look good so that I don't embarrass my family who are famous." Vicky returned hotly.
I smiled brittlely at the exchange, and tried not to let it bother me too much.
I only had to get through tomorrow and then I'd never have to be in the same room as both of them together ever again.
"They're just party tricks Emma. Helpful but nothing game breaking." I pointed out tiredly.
I had realized a while ago that the difficulty involved in making hard tech based items, was different than that presented by purely magical items. It was hard to get a hold of the processors and chips and things you needed to make an electronic device function. It was hard to source the tech I'd need to bootstrap my way up to Starfinder appropriate computers and such.
But magic usually called for things that were more symbolically valuable than they actually were. I could turn just about any gemstone or uniquely coloured rock into an Aeon Stone, because Aeon Stones were basically just enchanted rocks. There were a billion different varieties of the things, and to a one all they really did was hover around you giving you extremely minor bonuses to things. The only reason they were of any value at all is the fact that you could equip an unlimited number of them. In Starfinder it wasn't uncommon to see a high level adventurer with a solid halo of the things orbiting their head.
And as useful as being able to breath underwater, or go without food was… it wasn't going to change the outcome of a Cape fight except in very specific scenarios.
Still, as far as I could tell, while my mechanical equipment suffered from the usual Tinkertech maintenance requirements, my magical stuff did not. It was less tinkertech and more like a pure power expression. If I made an Aeon Stone, it wouldn't degrade or stop working unless it was physically damaged by something, and the same was true for every piece of gear I could make that ran entirely on magical principles.
That was why I wasn't that worried about the mook who had apparently shot Vicky with my old stuff. I'd be surprised if the gun even worked still at this point.
"If they're not a big deal why don't I get one?" Emma pressed, crossing her arms under her chest - very deliberately I might add - and pouting at me.
God save me from petulant teenagers.
"Look, if it will get you two to stop arguing-" I started.
"We aren't arguing." Vicky said instantly.
I shot her a look that she had the good graces to be embarrassed by, then continued.
"-then I'll see if I can fiddle some stuff up for you. But only for emergencies and self defence okay? If you get me in trouble because you used some of my tech wrong I will be furious." I finished.
Amy and Sophia had realized from moment one that they didn't want to be around for this and I didn't blame them. I'd see them both to plot our illicit patrol out and everything tomorrow. But for now, I was in hell - and I hated it.
"And quit insulting each other." I growled, well past the point of wanting them to get along and not appreciating the smug look Emma sent Vicky's way after my previous statement.
Emma didn't have the good graces to be embarrassed by that.
She just looked annoyed.
I wanted to sigh in exasperation but Merlin had recently started counting them when I did it, and as it turned out, I sighed kind of a lot.
So instead, I returned to trimming dead nodules off of the bioarmor I was growing - thankfully free of stench as a byproduct of the specific fungus being used - and did my best to ignore the fact that there was about fifteen square meters of space in the room but only about six inches between me and the two other people present.
I seriously needed more male friends.
"Am I in trouble for something?" I asked the morning before Amy's first patrol, having been called into the PRT headquarters nearly an hour ahead of my shift, and been told to 'wear something nice'.
I don't think I even owned something nice, so I just defaulted to the fitted t-shirt and jeans Vicky had forced on me. They were markedly less comfortable than my looser clothing, so I tried to avoid them where possible - but sometimes I woke up to find Aunty had thrown all my other stuff in the wash.
I still wasn't really used to being 'taken care of', so I was often blindsided when I was reminded I didn't have to cook my own meals or clean my own clothes. Aunty even praised me because she never had to tell me to shower which was… uncomfortable.
"No." Was Armsmasters singularly unhelpful response.
"Then what's with the guard detail? I feel like I'm being brought before a parole board." I complained as the transport we were in pulled into a parking space underneath the PHQ.
Armsmaster, to his credit, winced at that.
"You aren't being punished. The director ordered that you have a full member of the Protectorate with you when operating as a Ward." He explained. He didn't seem any happier about it than I was, which begged the question…
"For how long? And why hasn't anyone brought this up before? It's been like three days since the attack!" I argued heatedly.
"You weren't on active patrol and have been traveling to the headquarters with Shadow Stalker. It was deemed adequate." He replied, pulling his seatbelt off and moving to exit the van.
"So am I going on patrol today then?" I asked, having not actually had to do that yet. Apparently my first aborted public appearance was enough to make Piggot leery of sending me out in public.
Boy was she not going to like hearing about tonight's patrol after the fact. I was under no illusion that she wouldn't find out. I wasn't going to go out of my way to tell her - or anyone, for that matter - but I was too good at finding criminals with Merlin to expect a 'quiet' evening.
And that was assuming some random bystander didn't just snap a picture of us traveling and put it on PHO.
"Note to self, Camouflage Cape." I mentally sent.
"I will remind you as soon as it is relevant, sir." Merlin responded.
"Yes. But that's not why you're here right now. The Director wanted to reward you as an apology for your botched debut." Armsmaster rattled off in a bland tone.
"The Director wanted that?" I asked incredulously, having a hard time believing the woman cared whether I lived or died.
Armsmaster paused and turned to me then, shooting me a searching look.
"The Director does care about you all." He said with such adamant conviction it threw me off for a moment.
"Yeah but- I mean me specifically? I'm pretty sure I just annoy her." I said with an awkward shrug.
"People annoy each other all the time. That doesn't mean they don't care." He said, continuing on his way.
I opted not to keep the line of conversation going. I didn't even really disagree - I just didn't believe Piggot cared that much about me. About any Parahuman really. That didn't make her a bad person though. Parahumans suck - you had to be crazy by default just to be one, even if that wasn't immediately apparent to most people.
"So, I do this mystery meeting, and then suit up for a weeny patrol somewhere nice and safe with you?" I asked, just to clarify.
"They are not 'weeny' patrols." Armsmaster said bluntly.
See, now I could tell I was annoying him.
"Yeah, and statistically, there's pretty much always a small chance that the bank you are in gets robbed - but even here in spandexland that's shockingly unlikely. I'm not offended by it sir - I'm just not going to lie to myself about it. I'm okay with hoisting the flag." I drawled, knowing what he probably thought my opinion was.
The truth was, I agreed one hundred percent with the youth guard. Children shouldn't fight crime, period. No matter what their powers were.
The unfortunate reality, however, was that Parahumans were physically incapable of avoiding conflict. So there had to be a middle ground.
My preferred method of handling that issue was to make any conflict so one sidedly in my favour that it barely counted as a fight at all.
"Try not to talk like that in public." Armsmaster warned me, knowing better than to lecture me on a topic I didn't even disagree with.
"Yeah, I went to the same public speaking classes as everyone else, boss." I said again.
I get lippy when I'm anxious, could you tell? And not knowing what the hell was waiting for me as we traveled further into the building was only making it worse.
At length, we ended up taking the elevator up to one of the upper floors - where all the offices and paperwork were - and I was led to a room I had hoped never to come into ever again.
"Ah. This is why you're here." I said, measuring my odds of getting past Armsmaster to reach the elevator and rating them as low.
"It's a good thing, I promise." He said with a put upon sigh and a nod towards the door that led into the PR department.
"Say it less deadpan next time and maybe I'll even believe you." I grumbled, then paused before entering the room. "Have you made any progress on those isolated systems you wanted me to give you some spellcode on?" I asked.
"I've been working on it between upgrades to my armor. It isn't complicated but incorporating the crystal processors you specify is causing me issues." He conceded.
I stopped where I was and turned back around to face him.
"I could help with that a bit? There might be a component my power facilitates that yours doesn't. Tinkertech doesn't really crossover, our powers just make up their own similar looking versions of stuff we see." I explained, which earned me a very strange look from the man.
"Your Thinker power?" He asked curiously.
"Sure, probably." I answered noncommittally.
"Hm. I'll book some of your base time for it." He grunted.
"While we're at it, I can make these weapon seal things that you might be able to-" I began.
"This meeting is scheduled. Stop stalling. We can talk shop on patrol." He ordered me sternly.
I scowled at him - then hunched my shoulders and turned back towards the door with a sigh.
"Twelfth one today." Merlin noted much to my annoyance.
"I've only been awake for like two hours. How?" I asked him incredulously, even as I maintained a perfectly straight face on my quick walk up to the front desk in the office.
The trick to holding two conversations at once is remembering which one you are supposed to react to. You wouldn't think I'd get much value out of that skill, but so much of my communication these days was psychic in nature that it had become common for me.
"You missed a phone call from Victoria this morning, and it made you anxious." Merlin explained.
"Starfinder, correct?" The middle aged woman at the desk asked me politely as I approached.
"Yeah, that's me." I confirmed warily.
"She wanted to know my opinion on what to wear for her date Merlin. I don't fucking care, and I doubt Dean does either." I grumbled.
"And yet you are still anxious." He returned.
"Because when I called back she hung up on me!" I complained.
"Right this way," the woman - the nameplate on her desk read Stacy - said, standing and directing me to one of the three offices adjoining this waiting room.
I'm pretty sure that people share those offices though - because the PR department had a mind boggling number of people in it. The guy who draws concept art and the guy who sells action figures probably weren't doing the same things as the guys who papered over public fuckups.
The room I was led into reminded me of my dad's office, back when he was alive. My… actual dad, not this body's dad. Little framed newspaper clippings lined the walls, all of them big moments for the guy who owned the office, broken up only by the occasional degree or other piece of memorabilia. A bag full of golf clubs sat unused in one corner of the office collecting dust, and the blinds behind the desk were closed, letting only a slight trickle of light into the room.
"John! So nice to meet you, I know they give Tinkers a longer leash with PR than most! This meeting has been long overdue! I'm Derrick and I'll be your agent going forward." He said with an aggressively happy tone of voice, rising and walking around his desk to offer me his hand.
Derrick looked like one of the guys from Mr Laborns gym. He was huge, he was ripped as hell, and his perfect shining teeth and slicked back blond hair made me feel like I was talking to a carefully crafted robot rather than a person.
"Uh…huh…" I said, reaching up to grab the guys hand and being surprised by the gentle shake he gave it.
I had been kind of expecting him to do the 'look how strong my grip is bro' thing - but I guess testing your strength for dominance wasn't something sane adults did when dealing with teenagers.
"Thanks for leading him in l, Stacy!" Derrick said with a wave as the secretary quietly left the room behind us. I hadn't even noticed her move because Derrick was so… large. Not just physically, although his clearly tailored suit looked like someone had painted it directly on to the man, but rather… His personality was large. It didn't leave a lot of room for paying attention to anyone else.
"Now! I know you're wondering why you're here and wow do I have a surprise for you. Look, I've even got some samples here, go ahead and pick one - doesn't matter which." He said, grabbing a series of small boxes and dumping them unceremoniously in front of me.
I lifted an eyebrow at him.
"Ah don't look at me like that. I know you kids don't like coming here but sometimes we can be cool too okay?" He assured me.
"Okay, fine. Gimme this one then." I said, pointing at a box at random.
"Good choice! And the prize is-" Derrick said with a perturbing glee. The guy was almost too happy, to the point where it felt borderline medicated.
Then he pulled out an action figure, and quite frankly, I don't really know how I felt about it.
"…what the hell am I looking at?" I asked flatly.
"This, is the Starfinder MK2 with fully articulated arm and leg joints!" He said for emphasis, holding up the white and orange toy that mimicked my Odinson loadout. He flicked a button on the back and the domed helmet lit up, and noise came out of it.
"As long as there are stars in the sky, I'll protect you!" It said, loudly, proudly, and most unpleasantly of all, in my voice.
Sixty different things raced through my head at that moment. Why was it called the Starfinder MK2? I never called it that - I even made sure Odinson was the listed name on all my paperwork when I'd had Armsmaster review my specifications. What the hell was it saying? I had never said anything like that. In fact, I barely spoke at all when I was fighting. Who had time for that?
However, at the end of the day, I was wise enough to accept that this crap probably paid for a significant amount of my Tinkering budget. So I sucked it up, and pointed at the next box.
"A-and that one?" I asked slowly.
Derrick's smile didn't falter for even a second as he carefully put the toy down and pulled open the next box, handing me what was inside.
"…a dvd box set of 'hit tv drama' Cape Heights?" I read out loud, squinting at the box art and failing to recognize even a single character on it.
"Yes! I'm glad you asked because actually this is the big one for you. All the big names have at least cameo'd on this. We're hoping to get you up to Boston to film the next season before the end of summer!" He cheered.
I leaned away from him so hard and fast that I nearly tipped over the chair I was sitting in.
"Sorry?" I asked weakly.
"Filming is a few weeks tops, and they won't make you a main character unless you test really well, but next season calls for a Cape healer and the news has been showing your selfless medic bit for a few days now so-" he blathered, even though I had started dissociating pretty much the minute he reminded me of the attack.
I stared blankly ahead of myself for the next two minutes while Derrick said… something… and only felt myself being drawn back into the conversation by Merlins subtle prodding when I realized the PR guy was watching me expectantly.
"I- what if I… don't… want to be on tv?" I asked carefully.
"Well…" Derrick said, taking on a thoughtful but serious expression as he looked at me.
"I can't recommend it. Even if you aren't a fan of the series or public appearances, this is one of the few jobs we can give a Ward that pays up front. I'm given to understand your budget is starting to grow… thin." Derrick said diplomatically. I scowled at him.
"You're a fucker you know that?" I said by way of answering him.
"I have never met a teenager less excited to be on tv, if I'm honest. I didn't think this would take any convincing." He admitted.
"Oh I'm convinced but fuck you still." I grumbled.
These motherfuckers didn't know the kind of bullshit I could conjure up with access to my own money. They wanted me to go on their stupid show? Fine.
But I was gonna take the cash from that, and I was going to build a space shuttle or flying car or something, and they were going to regret it.
"I can tell you need some time to think on it, so - last box - boom! Starfinder underwear! Whatcha think?" He asked, hoisting up an orange and white pair of boxers and a similarly coloured pair of panties.
Five minutes later when Armsmaster came to get me for our patrol, there wasn't an ounce of shame on my face at the fire alarm I had triggered by setting the box on fire.
I liked to think he, of all people, understood.
A/N: Just a quicky, not a lot of actual time passing here.
All I have to say is that John a.k.a Starfinder isn't doing himself any favors with Dean at the moment due to the fact that he's literally making tinkertech jewelry for his girlfriend. Which can get even worse if some of that jewelry was gifted by Dean, and now Starfinder has added his modifications to them.
I also wait with bated breath at Starfinder's tv appearance. He either is going to be surprisingly good enough at it or he will be cringing all the way due to the plot, how others are acting in it, from embarrassment, and etc.
I also wait with bated breath at Starfinder's tv appearance. He either is going to be surprisingly good enough at it or he will be cringing all the way due to the plot, how others are acting in it, from embarrassment, and etc.
- Pronouns
- He
Would you believe that I, the real person, didnt even think of how that would piss dean off? Just in case you were wondering why the mc keeps doing these things despite his claims of being to mature to be blindsided by teenage bullshit
Poor starfinder him and Dean are going end up in a fist fight one of these days. That's going to be fun. Also why is it always underwear.
HammeredApple
Not a pile of applesauce
- Location
- Midwest
I know! It would be far less strange and make more sense to market sleepwear/pajamas and things instead of undergarments.
My take on it is that they give you three options, one of which is clearly worse than the others with the intent it will be vetoed. PR gets what it actually wants, and you get to feel slightly in control of your branding.
LOL
A really amazing chapter.
View: https://youtu.be/eC8UbmU2kB8
A really amazing chapter.
I doubt Armsy will, but Assault could give the MC the "speech":
View: https://youtu.be/eC8UbmU2kB8
- Location
- Texas
It's like batman underwear, it's probably marketed towards children. Just... Pretty creepy when it's done for real people instead of cartoon icons.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Bruh, why am I having legit flashbacks of this one considerate idiot mate in high school who thought that it would be easy to get rid of a group of gals by saying that he's busy with school work and whatnot because he doesn't want to mingle that much. Even though he constantly peppers the gals with careful attention and buys them stuff whenever they hang out in school or outside of it. One said gal even had a boyfriend, but that's besides the point.
This quest has no business in hitting directly on point with those 'real-life' teenage scenarios...
This quest has no business in hitting directly on point with those 'real-life' teenage scenarios...
- Pronouns
- He
Bruh, why am I having legit flashbacks of this one considerate idiot mate in high school who thought that it would be easy to get rid of a group of gals by saying that he's busy with school work and whatnot because he doesn't want to mingle that much. Even though he constantly peppers the gals with careful attention and buys them stuff whenever they hang out in school or outside of it. One said gal even had a boyfriend, but that's besides the point.
This quest has no business in hitting directly on point with those 'real-life' teenage scenarios...
Im structuring most of the teenage interactions based on things I remember hating as a teenager so
some people might have had more or less eventful childhoods than I, but I swear on god that even the weird passive aggressiveness GG is showing for someone she isn't even dating is something I've experienceD before in real life
- Location
- Brazil
He does, but he is wise enough to know that nanothorns don't grow on trees, but take root instead on massive stacks of cash.
PrognosticHannya
Far Too Enthusiastic About Etymology
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Starfinder x Gallant is going to become the most popular ship in the fandom and Dean's going to have an aneurysm. What would the ship name be, Stallant? Knightstar?
It's gonna get even worse once Amy starts writing smut just to fuck with them
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I can think of a certain Alexandria package cape that would love a way to not need to breathe. By that I mean Alexandria.
John could do a lot worse for making money. His Tinkering budget will become a non-issue when he unlocks a method to heal diseases and deformities. Until he can heal some rich jerks for millions, he needs to sell that merchandise. Don't stop at underwear. The Star Finder merchandise empire will make Star Wars look modest. Star Finder socks, lunch boxes, cereal, candy, nutrient bar, model kits, puzzles, Halloween costumes, video game cameos, school supplies. Whatever! A kid or man child should be able to survive completely on Star Finder merchandise.
John could do a lot worse for making money. His Tinkering budget will become a non-issue when he unlocks a method to heal diseases and deformities. Until he can heal some rich jerks for millions, he needs to sell that merchandise. Don't stop at underwear. The Star Finder merchandise empire will make Star Wars look modest. Star Finder socks, lunch boxes, cereal, candy, nutrient bar, model kits, puzzles, Halloween costumes, video game cameos, school supplies. Whatever! A kid or man child should be able to survive completely on Star Finder merchandise.
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breathe
why do so many people make this typo?
- Location
- The House of Moon and Star
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Because it looks right at first glance and most automatic systems can't catch it, since the mistake is a word in its own right.
Between merlin making john show up as a psychopath to empath vision, and dean being totally convinced thay vicky prefers john which may be true if dean keeps being an ass, i cant see them ever really getting along.
Also, when does TT reach BB, isnt it only another 6 months or so? Imna laugh if she gets pulled into this harem protag vortex too, but not because of interest in john but because it is the kind of hilarious situation that she would enjoy messing with.
Also, when does TT reach BB, isnt it only another 6 months or so? Imna laugh if she gets pulled into this harem protag vortex too, but not because of interest in john but because it is the kind of hilarious situation that she would enjoy messing with.
Crazael
Rehydrated Demon King
- Location
- Lost to the vagaries of time.
Eh, its not like its that much more effort to slap a logo onto some underwear as well as other clothing items.
Personally, I doubt I would have much problem with it if I got told my logo was going on some underwear. I'd probably even ask for a pair or two.
What if GG decides to also go on the show since Starfinder is in it, so that she can piss off Ema. Even better if they become the most popular ship
- Location
- England
Out of context, that sounds rather like you're planning murder.