You guys do realize he have had about two months of training in total, right? And one of them was mostly spent learning to... you know... eat and speak. The rest of the time have been spent moving around the world, studying what he could during breaks.
A unmitigated magical genius wouldn't be able to pull of better spells after two months of training. For a Blue Dragon, Targos have the right idea when it come to his magical development. Atreus is more or less on curve. Better at some things than others, but over all? He isn't bad for how long he have used magic.
Being a Planeswalker don't make you a magical god. It give you a advantage, sure, but it don't make you a physical god throwing power around like it was popcorn.
Yeah speaking of that. 2 months magical training versus how many tiny chapters? It create pacing issue in the presentation of time. The tiny iteration of content make it feel as if more things are being done or should be done for any giving actual amount of time that has passed. I mean this is Outland a like level 60 something zone in the game.
You really shouldn't be here this early in metagame? I want to say? And if you are you should by far further along and much more impressive seeming. I mean Marcus has been to Northrend for god's sake.
But he feels terribly unimpressive. You're not conveying the impact and weight of his character and event.
I mean you keep up with him. That hints your power but you don't convey a sense of weight to the accomplishment that is. So instead of murderbeast with Magic with Super Talented Hunter, Death Moth, Death world, King Ninja, Masterful Warlock and so an so. We get limpwristed fighter, overgrown lizard, Fledgling hunter, overgrown bug, Newbie Lock, and easily tracked rogue.
I mean at this point on the planet should be where you've finally started to come into your own and the fullness of your power as baby Walker, before you find out the world is yet still bigger than you know and you have a set catalyzing events that alter or redefine your path.
I mean Marcus is dead. But should we really care? Venir almost died is a hairs breadth from dying. But the circumstances don't feel weighty? Their relationship seemed to flow to fast.
The size of your arcs also seem to truncate their impact. I mean selling your glasses the last concrete attachment to your home felt weak. Not in the least becuase the Amnesia truncated the attachment to your home and our ability to attach to your lostness.
The would be merchant arcs felt mundane and half finished. Like you could have won more and started to go places, do things and really succeed before the dream was broken with a fight ( cause you had started to come into magic usefully in a that felt at least as dramatic as Eragon and BRISNGR) and Venir found out that she was a bit of a deadshot and really really liked that more along with yourself feeling a need for more power and more confidence in your power. So you separate on divergent path happily but with some Melacholy.
Then we could have seen more intermittent time skips of your training progression like a montage and a dvelopment of that actual relationship with the she dragon who's so into you.
There could have been a sense of complacency in that, that is shattered when you hear about Venir walking into hell. And then we could have had what we've gotten with more travelling time, more dramatic battles, grudging respect, and character development. Maybe even see some impact from a more active merchant arc like Gnome boy already having a muffler you could have put out there. Then we'd give a damn when he back stabbed you.
Tl DR: It's not what you've written. But that you've not made it felt. And Pacing.
