Omake: B-side
While Big Sis Grace stuffed herself with cake, I, Bridgette Alteisen, watched Duchess Justine seize the Gala in the palm of her hand.
It was said the Duchess had a touch of the dramatic, which made sense given House Claudius' sponsorship of the arts, but I admired the confidence and sheer presence the woman had. No one but Father had the stones to say no to her, not for long, anyway. Her aura was a regal, savage thing; her house's heraldic lion made manifest. Wordlessly, effortlessly, she commanded the whole attention of the room upon her.
When she brought up the idea to delay Elder Brother and Grace Claudius's marriage until they had both 'refined' themselves, Father's furious response was typical. He hated theatricality and saw ostentatiousness as an unwanted cost of nobility. As the Claudius matriarch and her fascinating daughter reveled in these things, it put them naturally at odds with Father, and thus, House Alteisen. This arranged marriage was meant as a bridge between troubled houses, or at least to provide a ceasefire.
Furthermore, Elder Brother was always Father's pride and joy. Even alluding to the idea he wasn't the perfect heir would get his blood boiling. The only time he ever shows that much emotion towards me is when I get into fights.
Still, the Duchess's silver tongue soothed even his shitty temper, and he eventually agreed to delay the marriage till they were both adults. I should have welcomed this: given the extra time, Elder Brother would clearly see Big Sis Grace wasn't on his level and go find some other decorative noble lady to win Father's approval with. I could've made a diplomatic alliance with the Claudius house myself, allowing Father to see me do things "properly", so he'd get off my back while I had more time to learn under Big Sis Grace.
No doubt once she was married, the stifling expectations of 'proper' Royal behavior would chain Big Sis Grace's spirit as it had mine, so she would be in ill humor to teach, let alone have any opportunity to do so. So I had to maximize my time with the fun, pugilistic Big Sis Grace.
So it was with some interest when Father pressed for a demonstration of the so-called couple's abilities. It surprised me that Elder Brother chose to meet Big Sis on her terms; he's good with a blade, but I thought he was going to make it some display of magical prowess. Elder Brother likes picking fights he can win, and was confident his aptitude in the Iron Blood and his magical knowledge.
I knew Big Sis Grace was going to pick something physical, though. Despite her frilly dresses, the girl had the heart of a fighter…But the young woman's suggestion for wrestling was beyond what even she expected. Even for her rebellious heart, the idea was scandalous! It conjured too many images of the far more common reasons for a male and female's sweaty bodies to be pressed together.
...Seriously, she could be such a dirty monkey sometimes!
Father attempted to chastise Big Sis Grace for unladylike behavior with the same imposing demeanor he'd directed my way for wanting to learn bladework with Elder Brother...but the Claudius were disdainful of Royal opinion at the best of times, and Big Sis made that point more willfully than most. I snuck in as many chortles as I could at Father being ignored, until he turned his stern visage my way.
...Then Elder Brother invited Big Sis Grace to a dance. I was silently begging her to say no, maybe even to throw that knockout punch to his jaw. To my, and everyone else's, surprise she accepted.
It wasn't even an excuse to just stomp on his feet like a few petty nobles I knew might, instead Big Sis Grace seemed perfectly willing to go along with it. Her moves were graceful and flawless. She was enthralling like Dutchess Justine, but warm and inviting. That, coupled with her very frilly gown, made her seem, for the moment, the picture of femininity.
An illusion no doubt, one not broken by Big Sis Grace, but by Elder Brother! I couldn't *hear* him say the words, but I picked up lipreading from our gossipy ex-maids and caught enough of the exchange. His asking for training in the secrets of her beauty and strength, the same desires that my own heart yearned for. How could he want what I want? How could he not tell me, his only sister, the secret depths of his heart?
Elder Brother had always been there for me, my secret supporter in the household. With Father and Mother pushing me away from fencing towards more feminine arts, Elder Brother'd been the only one willing to actually train with me, even if his busy schedule didn't allow him to do so much. I trusted him, used his strength as my foundation, and he betrayed me like this?
My heart sank into the floor, because I knew the only betrayal here was from my own cowardice. The walls in my own heart I was afraid to destroy. I should have asked first. I should have been honest with myself. I should have had the courage to take that dumb, wonderful monkey girl's hand in mine.
...I'm such a stupid child.
So I ran away like a child. I ran until I found my old hiding place, a little used nook behind one of the walkways. For once my reputation as the black sheep of the family helped, none pursued me. Not even Elder Brother.
All I could do was impotently grind my teeth, this self-annoyance needed an outlet. I desperately wished to thrash someone in a proper fencing match, and all the more that I could beat own lack of self-control into submission. Since I couldn't, I ran myself through with self-recriminations instead.
When put on the spot, hadn't Big Sis Grace been flexible enough to adapt when put on the spot? Hadn't she turned Father's indictments into a greater indictment towards him? Hadn't she metamorphosised into a ideal woman? If Big Sis can do it, why can't I?
I stewed so deeply in my self-loathing I only sensed a figure behind me when they were but a few strides away. Usually, I can pick up a presence from at least fifty paces.
I was about to give them a royal verbal smackdown, but the words died in my throat as I saw who it was. It was the last person I expected, but the one I had hoped for the most.
"Big Sis…"
It was said the Duchess had a touch of the dramatic, which made sense given House Claudius' sponsorship of the arts, but I admired the confidence and sheer presence the woman had. No one but Father had the stones to say no to her, not for long, anyway. Her aura was a regal, savage thing; her house's heraldic lion made manifest. Wordlessly, effortlessly, she commanded the whole attention of the room upon her.
When she brought up the idea to delay Elder Brother and Grace Claudius's marriage until they had both 'refined' themselves, Father's furious response was typical. He hated theatricality and saw ostentatiousness as an unwanted cost of nobility. As the Claudius matriarch and her fascinating daughter reveled in these things, it put them naturally at odds with Father, and thus, House Alteisen. This arranged marriage was meant as a bridge between troubled houses, or at least to provide a ceasefire.
Furthermore, Elder Brother was always Father's pride and joy. Even alluding to the idea he wasn't the perfect heir would get his blood boiling. The only time he ever shows that much emotion towards me is when I get into fights.
Still, the Duchess's silver tongue soothed even his shitty temper, and he eventually agreed to delay the marriage till they were both adults. I should have welcomed this: given the extra time, Elder Brother would clearly see Big Sis Grace wasn't on his level and go find some other decorative noble lady to win Father's approval with. I could've made a diplomatic alliance with the Claudius house myself, allowing Father to see me do things "properly", so he'd get off my back while I had more time to learn under Big Sis Grace.
No doubt once she was married, the stifling expectations of 'proper' Royal behavior would chain Big Sis Grace's spirit as it had mine, so she would be in ill humor to teach, let alone have any opportunity to do so. So I had to maximize my time with the fun, pugilistic Big Sis Grace.
So it was with some interest when Father pressed for a demonstration of the so-called couple's abilities. It surprised me that Elder Brother chose to meet Big Sis on her terms; he's good with a blade, but I thought he was going to make it some display of magical prowess. Elder Brother likes picking fights he can win, and was confident his aptitude in the Iron Blood and his magical knowledge.
I knew Big Sis Grace was going to pick something physical, though. Despite her frilly dresses, the girl had the heart of a fighter…But the young woman's suggestion for wrestling was beyond what even she expected. Even for her rebellious heart, the idea was scandalous! It conjured too many images of the far more common reasons for a male and female's sweaty bodies to be pressed together.
...Seriously, she could be such a dirty monkey sometimes!
Father attempted to chastise Big Sis Grace for unladylike behavior with the same imposing demeanor he'd directed my way for wanting to learn bladework with Elder Brother...but the Claudius were disdainful of Royal opinion at the best of times, and Big Sis made that point more willfully than most. I snuck in as many chortles as I could at Father being ignored, until he turned his stern visage my way.
...Then Elder Brother invited Big Sis Grace to a dance. I was silently begging her to say no, maybe even to throw that knockout punch to his jaw. To my, and everyone else's, surprise she accepted.
It wasn't even an excuse to just stomp on his feet like a few petty nobles I knew might, instead Big Sis Grace seemed perfectly willing to go along with it. Her moves were graceful and flawless. She was enthralling like Dutchess Justine, but warm and inviting. That, coupled with her very frilly gown, made her seem, for the moment, the picture of femininity.
An illusion no doubt, one not broken by Big Sis Grace, but by Elder Brother! I couldn't *hear* him say the words, but I picked up lipreading from our gossipy ex-maids and caught enough of the exchange. His asking for training in the secrets of her beauty and strength, the same desires that my own heart yearned for. How could he want what I want? How could he not tell me, his only sister, the secret depths of his heart?
Elder Brother had always been there for me, my secret supporter in the household. With Father and Mother pushing me away from fencing towards more feminine arts, Elder Brother'd been the only one willing to actually train with me, even if his busy schedule didn't allow him to do so much. I trusted him, used his strength as my foundation, and he betrayed me like this?
My heart sank into the floor, because I knew the only betrayal here was from my own cowardice. The walls in my own heart I was afraid to destroy. I should have asked first. I should have been honest with myself. I should have had the courage to take that dumb, wonderful monkey girl's hand in mine.
...I'm such a stupid child.
So I ran away like a child. I ran until I found my old hiding place, a little used nook behind one of the walkways. For once my reputation as the black sheep of the family helped, none pursued me. Not even Elder Brother.
All I could do was impotently grind my teeth, this self-annoyance needed an outlet. I desperately wished to thrash someone in a proper fencing match, and all the more that I could beat own lack of self-control into submission. Since I couldn't, I ran myself through with self-recriminations instead.
When put on the spot, hadn't Big Sis Grace been flexible enough to adapt when put on the spot? Hadn't she turned Father's indictments into a greater indictment towards him? Hadn't she metamorphosised into a ideal woman? If Big Sis can do it, why can't I?
I stewed so deeply in my self-loathing I only sensed a figure behind me when they were but a few strides away. Usually, I can pick up a presence from at least fifty paces.
I was about to give them a royal verbal smackdown, but the words died in my throat as I saw who it was. It was the last person I expected, but the one I had hoped for the most.
"Big Sis…"
((()))
