Should The Sun Not Rise (Urban Fantasy, Updates Sundays)

Omicron

"I already have dragons, I do not want men."
Location
Brittany, France
Pronouns
He/Him



I dreamed of dead cities, vast monuments of stone rising over graceful canals that stretched across the water.

I dreamed of blood pouring down the stairs of pyramids and supplications to fierce and hungry gods.

I dreamed of endless fields of maize, and of catching fish in my claws.

I dreamed of the endless dark between the stars, cold and white and dim.

I dreamed of my mistress who had nails of flint.

I dreamed of weapons that hurled fire and screaming metal.

I dreamed of horses, and the demons that rode hem.

And when I dreamed no more, I stood from my bed and looked outside my window. I saw towers of steel and glass taller than my pyramids had ever been. I saw lightning caught in copper wires feeding heatless fires to light the nights.

And I knew that world, like my own world before, was soon coming to an end.

I'd watch and wait.

Welcome to the Twilight Age.

***​

In 2014 I started my first long-form writing projects, a novel draft then titled The Twilight Age. I had written fiction previously, but this was my first dedicated attempt at writing a novel-length work that didn't fizzle out after two chapters. I kept working on it on and off over the next two years, until in 2016 I finally put the final period on the final page (and then promptly had to go back to edit a whole bunch of stuff in previous chapters, and later add in a new one). It was quite an experience, and while I've thought about what to do with it since then, until I decided to publish it online on a WordPress blog, with a new title that avoids unfortunate references to a well-known work of urban fantasy. I have a fondness for this story, even if today I've improved as a writer and feel I can do better than this, and so wouldn't try to get it past a publisher. So there it is on the Internet, being published as a serial - one chapter every week, two already published.

Should the Sun not Rise
is a urban fantasy novel with aspects of detective fiction. Malinalli is an ancient supernatural creature, a monster once feared in the Aztec Empire and forgotten in the modern day. She whiles away the day waiting for the soon-coming time when human surveillance technology becomes so overwhelming that the supernatural world can no longer remain hidden. Largely against her will, she finds herself thrust into a murder case that could make that day come sooner rather than later. On the way she meets a bevy of weird supernatural critters, and fights a few of them, because Malinalli is not the best talker. She has other skills to make up for it.

You can read Should the Sun not Rise here.

I intend to update this thread with each new update. If I do find readers and they want to discuss the story here, that's good too!


Table of Contents

 
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I'll wait and watch for the first chapter, then. I'm not terribly impatient.

Is there an Exalted connection? It sounds original, but it's not in the 'original fiction' section, and both the title and the Aztec themes hint otherwise.
 
I'll wait and watch for the first chapter, then. I'm not terribly impatient.

Is there an Exalted connection? It sounds original, but it's not in the 'original fiction' section, and both the title and the Aztec themes hint otherwise.
As mentioned in the OP, I waited until I had two chapters (plus the short prologue at the head of the post) before I posted a thread for it. You don't have to wait for it, they are right there :V

I'm also not sure what you mean. I posted this in "User Fiction" with the "Original" tag. Maybe the forum aggregation is playing tricks on you?
 
I think that used to be a separate subforum, I'm just not up to date. No matter.

You should post those two chapters here as well, for the benefit of readers using reader-mode, the terminally lazy, and such.
 
That would defeat the point - I want the story to be on my blog, a blog existing solely to support it. I will, however, threadmark my updates in this thread, so that readers using reader-mod can still find them.

And edit links to chapters in the OP, I should have done that from the start.
 
Hey good people of this forum. I've read this thing Omi is posting in fragments. It is the good shit. Go read it too!
 
Hey good people of this forum. I've read this thing Omi is posting in fragments. It is the good shit. Go read it too!
I have also read this thing. It's one of my favorite urban fantasy settings!
Thank you for sticking with mr as my faithful beta readers for the long while it took me to finish this. Your help was invaluable.

A lot of improvements could have been made had I not stupidly lost the log of Gargulec's comments and suggestions before I could use them in editing :V
 
Truthfully, I'll probably not read it until you say it's done. There's plenty of things to read, and the main reason I read incomplete stories here is due to the author interaction that follows, plus the tools I get from SV that let me more easily keep track of responses to my responses. All of that is missing if I'm expected to use some other blog system.

I'll keep the thread watched until you say it's complete, though.
 
Truthfully, I'll probably not read it until you say it's done. There's plenty of things to read, and the main reason I read incomplete stories here is due to the author interaction that follows, plus the tools I get from SV that let me more easily keep track of responses to my responses. All of that is missing if I'm expected to use some other blog system.

I'll keep the thread watched until you say it's complete, though.
That's absolutely your prerogative! I'm hoping that having a thread for it here does allow for people discussing the story on the forum. I enjoy SV and fiction threads and it would be great to have some live discussion here, the chapters are only a click away. I hope you enjoy it once it's done!
 
Well, I mean...

There's a discussion system on your blog. That sort of implicitly discourages discussion here, since it'd split the discussion?
 
I only met a handful of the old werecoyotes, in the decades following my escape from the Mexico valley. They were already a dying breed by then. Those knew the gifts they had been granted; they thought themselves the avatars of Coyote, the trickster-god, and acted as such. They were fearsome enemies and eerie companions, but they were worthy of respect, even if I prefered to respect them from a couple miles away. What I had in front of me were the coyotes of today: a pack that would operate like a gang and claim a neighborhood as their territory, threatening any Tot that came across it with violence.

And a new chapter is up.
 
intresting. so with a bit of her own blood, she could turn her forearms and hands to stone. Whats more she mentions it has to be willingly shed, which is interesting because it opens up a possible plot point of someone bleeding for her at some point. Though she refers to using the blood as a channel for her power rather than a source, so more blood may or may not help. We also get a general feel for where she stands on the power scale, the coyotes are mentioned to be small fry so she's likely somewhere in the middleweight leagues to fight a whole pack on equal grounds. At least as she is now, given her general lack of self-maintenance I would be unsurprised if she's in terrible shape metaphysically, especially since her legend paints a picture of a far more dangerous creature. Though it is interesting to see that she fights dirty, playing on the pride of the young where with a chip on his shoulder. That suggets that for all that she gives the impression of being a hikikomori at heart she has a lot of experience.

the weredog sounds like he's going to be an audience stand-in. The guy who knows nothing so background info can be explained. Though he's likely not going to be just that. The mystery of how someone who is very much not of south American decent ended up as a south American weredog. I suspect this will be more than just a furry great great grandpa and the bloodlines skipping a few generations.

I look forward to seeing what is in the house, and the continuing adventures of our awkward murder monster protagonist.
 

I think you have a bit of a continuity problem...

chapter 3 said:
Then I took out my cell phone, and grunted as I realized it was out of power.
chapter 4 said:
Thanking the convenience of modern technology, I took out my cell phone and used its screen as an improvised flashlight; it dimly illuminated the dust-covered table and its assortment of murdered pets, but it also showed me what I had hoped to see – markings.

How did the cellphone suddenly regain power?
 
Oops

That's what happens when you edit one aspect into the earlier chapters months after writing them and miss a continuity error when going through the next ones.

EDIT: I corrected it. Thanks.

Uhm, you did it twice:

Chapter 4 said:
Once again I took my phone and lighted the fabric to reveal signs similar to those I'd found in the basement.

EDIT: Also he calls the fire department somehow...
 
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I come from a culture where only the powerful could afford burial; the vast majority of the population was cremated, because ashes do not take room. Now I see graveyards everywhere, in the smallest cities as in the greatest. This world has forgotten the price of land.

A pretty low-key update compared to the previous one. Chapter 5 is up.
 
I'm getting the feeling that Malinalli is an extraordinary depressed and lonely creature. At first it was more like she was a hikikomori at heat, but more and more it's starting to look like depression rather than a dislike of interacting with others. It sounds like she withdrew from the world, and just never built up the will to reach out or even react to others reaching out to her.
 
I'm getting the feeling that Malinalli is an extraordinary depressed and lonely creature. At first it was more like she was a hikikomori at heat, but more and more it's starting to look like depression rather than a dislike of interacting with others. It sounds like she withdrew from the world, and just never built up the will to reach out or even react to others reaching out to her.
When I started writing Should the Sun not Rise, one difficulty I had was that my characters in previous work tended to lack a distinct sense of characterization. They were blank point of view characters or straightforward archetype. To get out of that and practice writing someone with a distinct "feel" and personality, I drew upon my personal experience - which ended up in Mali channeling a lot of the depression and isolation I'd been suffering from (at the time I studied in Paris and lived in an apartment alone, an hour's ride from anyone I knew). So yeah :V I was relatively happy with how it panned out.
 
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