She Who Wears The Crown Of Hell
- Thread starter Baughn
- Start date
- Crossover Sci-Fi
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Wanderer: 2.2
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
Not even Mato would waste time thinking too deeply about this, though it certainly made her uneasy enough to stay very, very still, while she considered the ramifications of the creature in front of her, and how much trouble her own ignorance might bring her, should this prove anything more than just a bad nightmare.
Her eyes were drawn to the creature's mouth. Though, "mouth" was perhaps the wrong term, since it appeared to be made solely of rocks and broken glass. As it turned slowly to survey its surroundings, one could clearly imagine it taking small, careful bites out of any passing insects, such as any girls similar to herself.
If she hadn't already been sitting down and in the process of hiding when that image entered her mind, Mato might well have screamed then. Instead, her body shook with silent sobs. She bit back another whimper, and drew up as much dignity as she was able, before peeking cautiously over the rocks again. It looked to be standing quite still. Watching something far away, perhaps?
She was totally exposed. All it had to do was turn slightly, and it would see her. A girl on the verge of panic, crouching on top of an uneven, rocky slope with her knees pulled up under her chin. Not nearly as well covered as she'd have liked. And she knew, absolutely without a doubt, that if it saw her, and chose to act... she would die.
Mato gulped loudly. She held herself still for a minute, breathing as slowly as she could, until the trembling began to ebb away again. Eventually, after what seemed like a whole lifetime spent huddled against the stones of the small crevice in which she found herself, Mato forced down her fear and crept onwards. She kept as many rocks as possible between her and it, though every now and then, she would hear that same, slow crunching, and shiver again.
Finally she could go no further; there simply wasn't room enough. The ground sloped upwards until it rose into a jagged, irregular shape, a mess of a cliff that looked like it had been carved from the land by giant claws and a knife in some distant, ancient time, but which Mato was beginning to suspect might have been a recent creation. There was a crack, however. At the bottom of the cliff, twenty or so metres above her, a small gap was visible. Not big enough to walk inside, but maybe big enough to crawl into.
Should she keep–
The troll rapidly turned, its head swivelling from left to right. Its eyes glowed a soft yellow. It still didn't see her, but it seemed intent; searching the area. Its enormous bulk threw up a wind that whipped at her clothing, smelling of earth and sulphur.
Mato shrank down into a terrified knot and waited for the end to arrive. Her heart was beating so rapidly she couldn't believe it, pounding with such violence she was sure it would explode soon. She felt sick and light-headed. If only she had a weapon, then maybe she could fight it. Anything would be better than this.
She scrabbled around on the ground, grabbing a jagged piece of glass and squeezing it until it shattered, leaving her leather-clad fingers full of nothing but dust.
And, finally...
The troll took a single step backwards, crushing a boulder the size of a classroom, then settled back down. Its attention had been drawn elsewhere. It stared into the night sky, towards something invisible.
Something had caught its attention, it seemed. And Mato was frozen in disbelieving terror beneath the stones of the cliff, unable to do anything. Unable to breathe, and unable to move.
Then, as quickly as her paralysis came, it was gone. She scrambled up towards the cliff, her muscles burning with exertion as she pushed and shoved and clawed her way upwards towards that crack, towards safety, where she collapsed, her breath finally coming back in gasps.
She reoriented herself to shove her legs inside the cavity as quickly as she dared, feeling broken glass scrape against Rock's leggings and then against her skin. She would have cut herself to ribbons if this were still her own body, but the glass, instead of digging into her thighs, merely threw off sparks. Instead of her skin being cut, the glass simply shattered. The shards should have been sharp and dangerous, but she could barely feel them.
Crawling into a rock formation sight unseen had also never been on her list of things to try, but there was a certain amount of instinct in the matter. After several attempts she succeeded in forcing her way all the way inside, the last remnants of the glass grinding painfully against her stomach while her hoodie, which was far too big for her in any case, ended up above her head with her arms.
The broken obsidian scraped against her skin as she inched her way deeper, as though she were crawling into the stomach of a particularly large snake. Her stomach clenched at that thought, not helped when a shiver in the rock sent a slight trickle of sand down across her forehead, into her eyes. Mato gritted her teeth, her mind refusing to think beyond her current situation.
She couldn't see anything at all, and the only sounds were the soft scrape of her body on the stone and the occasional faint buzz from the star.
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to calm her racing heart. She was so afraid that she was shaking violently, and it was taking every ounce of strength that she had to stop herself from screaming.
The glass-like rock was at least cool, and the knee-high combat boots she'd seemingly stolen from Rock did a good job keeping her from losing her grip as the crevice went from diagonal, to nearly vertical as her feet reached a cavity. She could barely move. She could hardly breathe. Any deeper, and she'd certainly be trapped.
Finally, with every inch of her body tucked safely away underground, she allowed herself to collapse. This wasn't as simple as crying her way through her worries anymore. She was too exhausted to cry. Just too terrified. She was almost certainly going to die here. She shut her eyes tightly, not even able to hug herself due to the rock pressing in on every side. She might even die right here, stuck, buried alive.
"Rock?" she whispered, hoping that her sister could hear her. Her voice was pitiful, weak and trembling. "Please... please come save me."
The star pressed against her shoulders, and she squeezed her eyes shut tighter.
Then, slowly, exhausted beyond measure, sleep claimed her.
***
Mato woke with a start, gasping and choking on dust as the cave rumbled around her. Her hands scrabbled frantically in the small space around them, pushing through loose stones and sand that was cascading down from somewhere high above them both, collecting in little mounds around her head.
It took her long, precious moments to remember exactly where she was, what had happened, while the cave-in continued unabated around her, blocking her only exit. The star pressed against her back, suddenly as cold as a chunk of ice, while she fought desperately to stay alive and escape this death trap.
As the tremors faded, she realised she was buried. There would be no climbing out of this place. In fact, there'd not even be any trying. She was stuck, well and truly stuck; she'd slid partially down into the hollow while she slept, and wouldn't have been able to climb out even were she not covered in rocks.
She started crying again, a sob caught deep in her throat as a mixture of frustration, terror and hopelessness threatened to drown her, and it was then, after many agonising seconds, that her mind finally clicked into gear.
She was stuck. All right.
Mato kicked herself for her stupidity, and forced her legs to work, pushing them back and forth as she mapped out the size of the hollow her lower body was stuck inside.
It wasn't good news. The hollow was no bigger than her familiy's kotatsu, with a rocky bottom that left no hope there might be an exit buried in the sand. There were no un-buried exits, either; no entrances other than the one she'd gotten stuck in. She could, maybe, curl her body up inside it—but then she'd be well and truly doomed, with no hope of ever leaving through the tunnel she'd foolishly gone charging into.
The hoodie was mostly blocking up the tunnel, keeping the sand from falling deeper and truly burying her, but that meant she needed one hand to hold it in place. That left another to explore. But still... her fingers traced over the rock walls, the smooth obsidian offering little in the way of handholds for her fingers.
There had to be some way to escape. Right?
A hundred scenes of Rock fighting for her life flitted through her mind. Dying hurt. She'd had no warning. She still felt as though this had to be a nightmare of some kind. She didn't want to die.
Mato dragged herself upwards as hard as she could, the sheer adrenaline letting her lift her body with a single hand. Sand rained down from above, pummelling her face as she struggled, kicking and flailing until something finally caught on one of her boots and she found purchase. Another minute of thrashing about got her other leg wedged firmly inside a tiny crack in the hollow, which was enough to stop her slipping downwards when her fingers gave out.
She kept up that procedure for a while, dragging herself up by a single arm as the sand and smaller rocks slowly made their way down past her, filling up the hollow she'd nearly fallen into. Finally, after much struggle, she succeeded in placing a single foot in the crevice the rest of her body was still wedged into. It was fast going after that. She pushed her way upwards, hacking and coughing as she emerged from the base of a small dune that had partially covered the hole she'd nearly died in.
She fell on her back there, her hoodie a dirty heap under her head, and lay for several minutes staring blankly into space. There was, at least, no sign of the giant.
She couldn't do this. The world was etched in shades of grey, black creeping in at the edges of her vision.
She couldn't …
Could she?
…
The sun was still straight overhead. It hadn't moved a jot, despite the probably several hours she'd spent in the cave. It was still blue, which suited her fine; it matched her mood, though something about it felt energising.
The one thing she couldn't do was lie here.
"You can do it," Mato told herself sternly. She pushed back against that dark encroachment, forcing away all thoughts of despair and hopelessness. Rock would be disappointed if she saw her like this.
The first thing was to move.
She rolled over and hauled herself upright, only just avoiding the sharp rock edge that protruded from beneath the sand. Her hands ached from all the scrambling, but the scratches she'd sustained on her torso were already healing, disappearing as though never there. There were a number of them. After a moment's hesitation, she shook the hoodie out and put it back on. It was dirty, but better than nothing. It would do.
She was still wearing Rock's combat boots, and they were surprisingly comfortable. If she'd been wearing her normal jogging shoes, she'd be dead by now; they would never have let her climb up that crevice. They might have outright disintegrated. Rock's felt sturdy, but not like anything that would protect her from giant trolls. It meant her lower legs, at least, were safe.
She had gloves on. Mato flexed her fingers, feeling their warmth. They were also made of tough leather, and the palms and backs of each glove had been reinforced with metal strips, sewn into the fabric. She'd seen Rock stop blades with these, but... she didn't know if they'd work against troll claws.
Her limbs were protected. The rest of her... mm, nope. She felt, frankly, naked.
Mato turned back to the rock wall and wiped her eyes, then took a few deep breaths. She would wait for a moment, then make her move. Where to, though? She saw some hills in the distance, maybe they–
The star flew up in front of her and buzzed, flooding with a red that felt like urgency in the shape of a pentagram.
"Do you think it's a good idea?" she whispered. "Going to the hills? There might be people there..."
She bit her lip. What else did you do when you were all alone out here? You prayed for rescue, naturally. But that didn't apply to being thrown into a desert otherworld... right? If she stayed still, would anyone find her? She should throw away such thoughts; this whole experience was clearly unnatural.
People seemed unlikely, but she'd at least be able to see what was going on around her. Maybe she'd see a settlement, or at least a river or a stream. Then again, that meant walking through a field of monsters...
The star seemed content with her plan. It didn't do much, but it buzzed happily enough.
"Right then," whispered Mato, pushing herself to her feet. "Let's go."
She hurried away from the cliff-face, stumbling a little as she ran. The star buzzed louder, and she followed it, running faster.
***
Mato froze, pressing herself flat against the sand, and listened intently. Nothing. She breathed again, and rose up onto her knees. Slowly, she raised her head above the edge of the dune, and peered cautiously at the landscape still ahead of her.
Nothing.
She was alone.
She'd come across monsters twice. A small blob of jelly, with big, red eyes and teeth that dripped poison, hidden in a dried-out gulch; then a pair of giant lizards that fought each other to death while Mato cowered and tried her best to avoid their attention. Now, the sun beat down on a barren desert plain without so much as a trace of life—save, perhaps, for one lone person in hoodie.
And a rustling, but it was probably the wind.
A desolate scene greeted her, with nothing more than a few scattered rocks poking out of the sand. There were no trees or plants, nor even any animals. She could see the mountains in the distance, and the sky was cloudless and blue. There was no sign of any other living thing. No birds, no insects, no lizards or snakes. Nothing.
A chill wind blew across the sands, and she shivered, hugging herself tightly. She felt like she was about to start crying again, but forced herself to remain calm. The first thing to do, at a time like this, was...
She pressed her lips together and swallowed heavily.
As if she knew! She was a city girl, not a survivalist! What did she know about wilderness survival? She'd never even camped out before, let alone gone on a hike through a desert! She was terrified of bears, and now she was dodging komodo dragons and hill giants?!
But, she reminded herself firmly, this was real life. Not a game. She was stuck in the middle of nowhere, with no food, no shelter, and no one to turn to. She needed to take stock of her resources and figure out what to do next. As she had none, that meant her surroundings.
She looked down at the boots covering her feet.
"Maybe not quite 'nothing'," she said, giving in to the temptation. There should have been someone standing next to her; a girl with a sword, always ready and eager to fight. Instead, there was just her. She felt foolish to be talking to herself like this, but she'd truly forgotten how to be alone. Rock would've been telling her what an idiot she was, to be sure, but also offering her hand to help her stand. Neither had ever let the other be alone.
"'Pull yourself together', Rock would say," she murmured, thinking of her twin. "You're not going to die yet. Come find me. I'll be fine."
She sighed and closed her eyes, letting her head fall back. She was tired, and hungry. Her throat felt parched, and her tongue felt thick in her mouth. At least she wasn't especially scared.
She pulled her hoodie tighter around her shoulders, then shuffled forward.
Mato tried to stay low and quiet, hoping that any monsters would pass her by. She was careful to avoid the occasional clumps of rocks, and to skirt around any large boulders she could see.
Every time she heard a rustle in the distance, or saw a shadow move, she stopped and pressed herself against the ground. She couldn't help it. Every instinct told her to run, but running blindly would only lead to more trouble. Each and every time the star would press itself into her hoodie, acting more like an extension of her body than a separate entity.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, she reached the foot of the nearest hill. She climbed carefully up the slope, stopping frequently to listen and peer around her. It was a steep climb, but it was a relief to be on solid ground again. She was tired, hungry, thirsty, and scared. And yet, she felt strangely elated. She'd done it!
Her view was limited, but at least she could see a little further.
The hill was part of a chain of hills, stretching off into the distance. It was flanked on either side by rocky slopes, but the top of the hill was flat and open, giving her a clear view of the surrounding landscape.
Mato crept up onto the summit and sat down, leaning back against a boulder. She wiped her eyes again, and took a few deep breaths.
Her gaze travelled out over the land, taking in the horizon. She could see mountains in the distance, and a faint smudge of green in the distance. She wondered whether that was a forest, or just a mirage.
Past the mountains, the horizon curved upwards. She'd thought it had looked weird before, but it was clear now: Far out in the distance, far enough that her vision grew hazy, instead of curving down like the Earth was supposed to the land instead rose into the sky, all around her, like she was sitting in a giant bowl.
She felt a wholly explicable sense of loneliness. She wanted to cry again, but she didn't want to waste precious water. She closed her eyes again.
They'd been doing so well. Her, Rock and Kohachi, and the others too. This wasn't fair. Now that she'd escaped immediate death, she was starting to feel angry. Why was this happening to her? What kind of cruel joke was this?
She buried her face in her hands, and cried.
***
When she calmed down once again, Mato stood up and brushed the sand off her clothes. Silently, a little listlessly, she climbed up on top of the boulder she had been resting against. She stared out over the landscape again, looking in the direction she'd come.
There was nothing. Just the endless expanse of sand, rocks, and mountains. The obsidian plateau somewhere in the middle, and the hill giant somewhere she couldn't see from here.
Turning away from the sight, she scanned the horizon, looking for anything that might provide her with shelter. Or water, preferably. The direction she'd been walking from was especially desolate, but the rest of the landscape was almost equally barren. That was, until her eyes caught on a—discontinuity, in the landscape, where the desert gave way to a void of empty space. Not a canyon, but a hole in reality that sucked her gaze in towards it.
She squinted at it, trying to decide what she was looking at. It was black, so it might have been more obsidian, except the desert wavered and blurred around its edges. It looked as though it were melting, or dissolving...
"Is that... a cave?" she whispered, swallowing nervously. "Or a crack in the world?"
The strange hole looked empty, but there was something about it that made her uneasy. Squinting harder, she saw a glimmer of reddish light, shining out of the darkness. Was that a reflection of sunlight, refracted through a glass-like material? Or was it an opening, leading somewhere else? She had no way of knowing, and no desire to find out. At least it was far enough away. Twenty kilometres? More? There was no reason she should–
Mato caught a glimpse, through the blurred air, of buildings on the other side. Tall, blocky buildings, like those from deep in Tokyo. A cluster of tall towers.
It was the strangest thing she'd seen since arriving in this place. She felt a pang of longing, and pushed it aside. There was no way she could get to it. Even if she could somehow cross the hole, the buildings looked just as out of place here as she was. It didn't feel safe, and what she needed was water, not more mystery.
She turned away again, and found herself staring at another mountain range. These ones were closer, and they were snowcapped. They seemed to stretch out forever, their peaks jagged and dark grey.
Something moved on one of the lower slopes, catching her eye. Another hill giant? No...
She blinked, squinting through the haze. There was a figure on the mountain, climbing steadily upwards. It was a person, but that was all she could tell from this distance. For a moment, she felt a sense of gratitude; Rock's eyes were much better than her own, which was the only reason she could make out anything at all.
Whoever it was, they were moving in a group. The one person, alongside... two... monsters?
She watched them climb, slowly but surely, higher and higher. One of the figures suddenly stopped, pointing up towards the summit. It seemed like it was made of paper. A... shikigami? Was that the term? She hadn't thought those were real, but–
Mato laughed at herself. Of course they'd be real. With everything else going one, why couldn't magic also be real?
The star pressed itself against her back. She ignored it for now, watching the group of three continue to climb. She wanted nothing so much as to run in their direction, but something about the first one she spotted was making her nervous, and it wasn't just that he also had a giant blob of slime following him around, although that was disturbing enough. It wasn't something she could put her finger on. The snow was tempting, though. The mountains were a big place, and she was sure she could sneak around without being spotted.
The rest of the horizon was just more desert, though if she squinted, she thought she could see something sparkling a little bit counter-clockwise of the mountains. Maybe a lake. Or a river? She couldn't be sure.
The group continued to climb, and finally disappeared over a ridge. She waited for several minutes, but nothing further happened.
ooOOoo
Skill up!
Survival +1! New value: 1.
Although you're still in the tutorial, this is when things open up a little bit. I intend to, for the time being, let you plan Mato's actions in units of one day; however, this first day is already half gone. As going without sleep will do you no good at all, this means you can pick one (1) of the following actions. Or write-in your own. There's very likely to be more votes happening during each day, but this is how the start of the day will look.
Events up to now were largely setting the scene, and were predetermined to go roughly as well as they went. From this point onwards, I'll be rolling dice; you can expect to see some statistics on Mato once she learns more about herself, but you will have to use your best judgement as to everything else.
The list below is a start. You should not let it limit you. There is a four-hour moratorium on votes.
Investigation:
[ ] There is someone exploring the mountain ahead of you, and they look human. Even if they make you nervous, that is more than you had reason to hope. You might be able to catch them if you start now.
- Primary skills: Survival, Athletics
[ ] There is a hole in the world. It terrifies you, but in some stories it would be your only way home. You can see buildings there. It also might be a quick way to the grave.
- Primary skills: Occult, Stealth
Exploration:
[ ] The mountains have snow. Forget the other people climbing it: you just want something to drink, so you'll take it slow. You'll see more of the world from up there, besides.
- Primary skills: Survival, Luck
[ ] There is something that looks river-esque winding its way down the mountain into the possible lake. A river would be a good way to find life, and would give you both water and potentially food.
- Primary skills: Survival, Luck
[ ] There is most likely a lake. The water might be stagnant, but at its size you don't think that would be the case? You're not an expert at this. It would at least be easier to get to.
- Primary skills: Survival, Luck
[ ] Forget all this; you want to go elsewhere. There has to be something over the horizon.
- Primary skill: Luck
Development:
[ ] Before you can understand the world, you need to understand yourself. You're here in Rock's body. How? You have a star, apparently. Why? And while you can't seem to achieve the feats of strength your sister managed, you are at least half as durable as her. Did you inherit any of Rock's other traits?
- Primary skills: Psionics, Occult
Her eyes were drawn to the creature's mouth. Though, "mouth" was perhaps the wrong term, since it appeared to be made solely of rocks and broken glass. As it turned slowly to survey its surroundings, one could clearly imagine it taking small, careful bites out of any passing insects, such as any girls similar to herself.
If she hadn't already been sitting down and in the process of hiding when that image entered her mind, Mato might well have screamed then. Instead, her body shook with silent sobs. She bit back another whimper, and drew up as much dignity as she was able, before peeking cautiously over the rocks again. It looked to be standing quite still. Watching something far away, perhaps?
She was totally exposed. All it had to do was turn slightly, and it would see her. A girl on the verge of panic, crouching on top of an uneven, rocky slope with her knees pulled up under her chin. Not nearly as well covered as she'd have liked. And she knew, absolutely without a doubt, that if it saw her, and chose to act... she would die.
Mato gulped loudly. She held herself still for a minute, breathing as slowly as she could, until the trembling began to ebb away again. Eventually, after what seemed like a whole lifetime spent huddled against the stones of the small crevice in which she found herself, Mato forced down her fear and crept onwards. She kept as many rocks as possible between her and it, though every now and then, she would hear that same, slow crunching, and shiver again.
Finally she could go no further; there simply wasn't room enough. The ground sloped upwards until it rose into a jagged, irregular shape, a mess of a cliff that looked like it had been carved from the land by giant claws and a knife in some distant, ancient time, but which Mato was beginning to suspect might have been a recent creation. There was a crack, however. At the bottom of the cliff, twenty or so metres above her, a small gap was visible. Not big enough to walk inside, but maybe big enough to crawl into.
Should she keep–
The troll rapidly turned, its head swivelling from left to right. Its eyes glowed a soft yellow. It still didn't see her, but it seemed intent; searching the area. Its enormous bulk threw up a wind that whipped at her clothing, smelling of earth and sulphur.
Mato shrank down into a terrified knot and waited for the end to arrive. Her heart was beating so rapidly she couldn't believe it, pounding with such violence she was sure it would explode soon. She felt sick and light-headed. If only she had a weapon, then maybe she could fight it. Anything would be better than this.
She scrabbled around on the ground, grabbing a jagged piece of glass and squeezing it until it shattered, leaving her leather-clad fingers full of nothing but dust.
And, finally...
The troll took a single step backwards, crushing a boulder the size of a classroom, then settled back down. Its attention had been drawn elsewhere. It stared into the night sky, towards something invisible.
Something had caught its attention, it seemed. And Mato was frozen in disbelieving terror beneath the stones of the cliff, unable to do anything. Unable to breathe, and unable to move.
Then, as quickly as her paralysis came, it was gone. She scrambled up towards the cliff, her muscles burning with exertion as she pushed and shoved and clawed her way upwards towards that crack, towards safety, where she collapsed, her breath finally coming back in gasps.
She reoriented herself to shove her legs inside the cavity as quickly as she dared, feeling broken glass scrape against Rock's leggings and then against her skin. She would have cut herself to ribbons if this were still her own body, but the glass, instead of digging into her thighs, merely threw off sparks. Instead of her skin being cut, the glass simply shattered. The shards should have been sharp and dangerous, but she could barely feel them.Crawling into a rock formation sight unseen had also never been on her list of things to try, but there was a certain amount of instinct in the matter. After several attempts she succeeded in forcing her way all the way inside, the last remnants of the glass grinding painfully against her stomach while her hoodie, which was far too big for her in any case, ended up above her head with her arms.
The broken obsidian scraped against her skin as she inched her way deeper, as though she were crawling into the stomach of a particularly large snake. Her stomach clenched at that thought, not helped when a shiver in the rock sent a slight trickle of sand down across her forehead, into her eyes. Mato gritted her teeth, her mind refusing to think beyond her current situation.
She couldn't see anything at all, and the only sounds were the soft scrape of her body on the stone and the occasional faint buzz from the star.
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to calm her racing heart. She was so afraid that she was shaking violently, and it was taking every ounce of strength that she had to stop herself from screaming.
The glass-like rock was at least cool, and the knee-high combat boots she'd seemingly stolen from Rock did a good job keeping her from losing her grip as the crevice went from diagonal, to nearly vertical as her feet reached a cavity. She could barely move. She could hardly breathe. Any deeper, and she'd certainly be trapped.
Finally, with every inch of her body tucked safely away underground, she allowed herself to collapse. This wasn't as simple as crying her way through her worries anymore. She was too exhausted to cry. Just too terrified. She was almost certainly going to die here. She shut her eyes tightly, not even able to hug herself due to the rock pressing in on every side. She might even die right here, stuck, buried alive.
"Rock?" she whispered, hoping that her sister could hear her. Her voice was pitiful, weak and trembling. "Please... please come save me."
The star pressed against her shoulders, and she squeezed her eyes shut tighter.
Then, slowly, exhausted beyond measure, sleep claimed her.
***
Mato woke with a start, gasping and choking on dust as the cave rumbled around her. Her hands scrabbled frantically in the small space around them, pushing through loose stones and sand that was cascading down from somewhere high above them both, collecting in little mounds around her head.It took her long, precious moments to remember exactly where she was, what had happened, while the cave-in continued unabated around her, blocking her only exit. The star pressed against her back, suddenly as cold as a chunk of ice, while she fought desperately to stay alive and escape this death trap.
As the tremors faded, she realised she was buried. There would be no climbing out of this place. In fact, there'd not even be any trying. She was stuck, well and truly stuck; she'd slid partially down into the hollow while she slept, and wouldn't have been able to climb out even were she not covered in rocks.
She started crying again, a sob caught deep in her throat as a mixture of frustration, terror and hopelessness threatened to drown her, and it was then, after many agonising seconds, that her mind finally clicked into gear.
She was stuck. All right.
Mato kicked herself for her stupidity, and forced her legs to work, pushing them back and forth as she mapped out the size of the hollow her lower body was stuck inside.
It wasn't good news. The hollow was no bigger than her familiy's kotatsu, with a rocky bottom that left no hope there might be an exit buried in the sand. There were no un-buried exits, either; no entrances other than the one she'd gotten stuck in. She could, maybe, curl her body up inside it—but then she'd be well and truly doomed, with no hope of ever leaving through the tunnel she'd foolishly gone charging into.
The hoodie was mostly blocking up the tunnel, keeping the sand from falling deeper and truly burying her, but that meant she needed one hand to hold it in place. That left another to explore. But still... her fingers traced over the rock walls, the smooth obsidian offering little in the way of handholds for her fingers.
There had to be some way to escape. Right?
A hundred scenes of Rock fighting for her life flitted through her mind. Dying hurt. She'd had no warning. She still felt as though this had to be a nightmare of some kind. She didn't want to die.
Mato dragged herself upwards as hard as she could, the sheer adrenaline letting her lift her body with a single hand. Sand rained down from above, pummelling her face as she struggled, kicking and flailing until something finally caught on one of her boots and she found purchase. Another minute of thrashing about got her other leg wedged firmly inside a tiny crack in the hollow, which was enough to stop her slipping downwards when her fingers gave out.
She kept up that procedure for a while, dragging herself up by a single arm as the sand and smaller rocks slowly made their way down past her, filling up the hollow she'd nearly fallen into. Finally, after much struggle, she succeeded in placing a single foot in the crevice the rest of her body was still wedged into. It was fast going after that. She pushed her way upwards, hacking and coughing as she emerged from the base of a small dune that had partially covered the hole she'd nearly died in.
She fell on her back there, her hoodie a dirty heap under her head, and lay for several minutes staring blankly into space. There was, at least, no sign of the giant.
She couldn't do this. The world was etched in shades of grey, black creeping in at the edges of her vision.
She couldn't …
Could she?
…
The sun was still straight overhead. It hadn't moved a jot, despite the probably several hours she'd spent in the cave. It was still blue, which suited her fine; it matched her mood, though something about it felt energising.
The one thing she couldn't do was lie here.
"You can do it," Mato told herself sternly. She pushed back against that dark encroachment, forcing away all thoughts of despair and hopelessness. Rock would be disappointed if she saw her like this.
The first thing was to move.
She rolled over and hauled herself upright, only just avoiding the sharp rock edge that protruded from beneath the sand. Her hands ached from all the scrambling, but the scratches she'd sustained on her torso were already healing, disappearing as though never there. There were a number of them. After a moment's hesitation, she shook the hoodie out and put it back on. It was dirty, but better than nothing. It would do.
She was still wearing Rock's combat boots, and they were surprisingly comfortable. If she'd been wearing her normal jogging shoes, she'd be dead by now; they would never have let her climb up that crevice. They might have outright disintegrated. Rock's felt sturdy, but not like anything that would protect her from giant trolls. It meant her lower legs, at least, were safe.
She had gloves on. Mato flexed her fingers, feeling their warmth. They were also made of tough leather, and the palms and backs of each glove had been reinforced with metal strips, sewn into the fabric. She'd seen Rock stop blades with these, but... she didn't know if they'd work against troll claws.
Her limbs were protected. The rest of her... mm, nope. She felt, frankly, naked.
Mato turned back to the rock wall and wiped her eyes, then took a few deep breaths. She would wait for a moment, then make her move. Where to, though? She saw some hills in the distance, maybe they–
The star flew up in front of her and buzzed, flooding with a red that felt like urgency in the shape of a pentagram.
"Do you think it's a good idea?" she whispered. "Going to the hills? There might be people there..."
She bit her lip. What else did you do when you were all alone out here? You prayed for rescue, naturally. But that didn't apply to being thrown into a desert otherworld... right? If she stayed still, would anyone find her? She should throw away such thoughts; this whole experience was clearly unnatural.
People seemed unlikely, but she'd at least be able to see what was going on around her. Maybe she'd see a settlement, or at least a river or a stream. Then again, that meant walking through a field of monsters...
The star seemed content with her plan. It didn't do much, but it buzzed happily enough.
"Right then," whispered Mato, pushing herself to her feet. "Let's go."
She hurried away from the cliff-face, stumbling a little as she ran. The star buzzed louder, and she followed it, running faster.
***
Mato froze, pressing herself flat against the sand, and listened intently. Nothing. She breathed again, and rose up onto her knees. Slowly, she raised her head above the edge of the dune, and peered cautiously at the landscape still ahead of her.
Nothing.
She was alone.
She'd come across monsters twice. A small blob of jelly, with big, red eyes and teeth that dripped poison, hidden in a dried-out gulch; then a pair of giant lizards that fought each other to death while Mato cowered and tried her best to avoid their attention. Now, the sun beat down on a barren desert plain without so much as a trace of life—save, perhaps, for one lone person in hoodie.
And a rustling, but it was probably the wind.
A desolate scene greeted her, with nothing more than a few scattered rocks poking out of the sand. There were no trees or plants, nor even any animals. She could see the mountains in the distance, and the sky was cloudless and blue. There was no sign of any other living thing. No birds, no insects, no lizards or snakes. Nothing.
A chill wind blew across the sands, and she shivered, hugging herself tightly. She felt like she was about to start crying again, but forced herself to remain calm. The first thing to do, at a time like this, was...
She pressed her lips together and swallowed heavily.
As if she knew! She was a city girl, not a survivalist! What did she know about wilderness survival? She'd never even camped out before, let alone gone on a hike through a desert! She was terrified of bears, and now she was dodging komodo dragons and hill giants?!
But, she reminded herself firmly, this was real life. Not a game. She was stuck in the middle of nowhere, with no food, no shelter, and no one to turn to. She needed to take stock of her resources and figure out what to do next. As she had none, that meant her surroundings.
She looked down at the boots covering her feet.
"Maybe not quite 'nothing'," she said, giving in to the temptation. There should have been someone standing next to her; a girl with a sword, always ready and eager to fight. Instead, there was just her. She felt foolish to be talking to herself like this, but she'd truly forgotten how to be alone. Rock would've been telling her what an idiot she was, to be sure, but also offering her hand to help her stand. Neither had ever let the other be alone.
"'Pull yourself together', Rock would say," she murmured, thinking of her twin. "You're not going to die yet. Come find me. I'll be fine."
She sighed and closed her eyes, letting her head fall back. She was tired, and hungry. Her throat felt parched, and her tongue felt thick in her mouth. At least she wasn't especially scared.
She pulled her hoodie tighter around her shoulders, then shuffled forward.
Mato tried to stay low and quiet, hoping that any monsters would pass her by. She was careful to avoid the occasional clumps of rocks, and to skirt around any large boulders she could see.
Every time she heard a rustle in the distance, or saw a shadow move, she stopped and pressed herself against the ground. She couldn't help it. Every instinct told her to run, but running blindly would only lead to more trouble. Each and every time the star would press itself into her hoodie, acting more like an extension of her body than a separate entity.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, she reached the foot of the nearest hill. She climbed carefully up the slope, stopping frequently to listen and peer around her. It was a steep climb, but it was a relief to be on solid ground again. She was tired, hungry, thirsty, and scared. And yet, she felt strangely elated. She'd done it!
Her view was limited, but at least she could see a little further.
The hill was part of a chain of hills, stretching off into the distance. It was flanked on either side by rocky slopes, but the top of the hill was flat and open, giving her a clear view of the surrounding landscape.
Mato crept up onto the summit and sat down, leaning back against a boulder. She wiped her eyes again, and took a few deep breaths.
Her gaze travelled out over the land, taking in the horizon. She could see mountains in the distance, and a faint smudge of green in the distance. She wondered whether that was a forest, or just a mirage.
Past the mountains, the horizon curved upwards. She'd thought it had looked weird before, but it was clear now: Far out in the distance, far enough that her vision grew hazy, instead of curving down like the Earth was supposed to the land instead rose into the sky, all around her, like she was sitting in a giant bowl.
She felt a wholly explicable sense of loneliness. She wanted to cry again, but she didn't want to waste precious water. She closed her eyes again.
They'd been doing so well. Her, Rock and Kohachi, and the others too. This wasn't fair. Now that she'd escaped immediate death, she was starting to feel angry. Why was this happening to her? What kind of cruel joke was this?
She buried her face in her hands, and cried.
***
When she calmed down once again, Mato stood up and brushed the sand off her clothes. Silently, a little listlessly, she climbed up on top of the boulder she had been resting against. She stared out over the landscape again, looking in the direction she'd come.
There was nothing. Just the endless expanse of sand, rocks, and mountains. The obsidian plateau somewhere in the middle, and the hill giant somewhere she couldn't see from here.
Turning away from the sight, she scanned the horizon, looking for anything that might provide her with shelter. Or water, preferably. The direction she'd been walking from was especially desolate, but the rest of the landscape was almost equally barren. That was, until her eyes caught on a—discontinuity, in the landscape, where the desert gave way to a void of empty space. Not a canyon, but a hole in reality that sucked her gaze in towards it.
She squinted at it, trying to decide what she was looking at. It was black, so it might have been more obsidian, except the desert wavered and blurred around its edges. It looked as though it were melting, or dissolving...
"Is that... a cave?" she whispered, swallowing nervously. "Or a crack in the world?"
The strange hole looked empty, but there was something about it that made her uneasy. Squinting harder, she saw a glimmer of reddish light, shining out of the darkness. Was that a reflection of sunlight, refracted through a glass-like material? Or was it an opening, leading somewhere else? She had no way of knowing, and no desire to find out. At least it was far enough away. Twenty kilometres? More? There was no reason she should–
Mato caught a glimpse, through the blurred air, of buildings on the other side. Tall, blocky buildings, like those from deep in Tokyo. A cluster of tall towers.
It was the strangest thing she'd seen since arriving in this place. She felt a pang of longing, and pushed it aside. There was no way she could get to it. Even if she could somehow cross the hole, the buildings looked just as out of place here as she was. It didn't feel safe, and what she needed was water, not more mystery.
She turned away again, and found herself staring at another mountain range. These ones were closer, and they were snowcapped. They seemed to stretch out forever, their peaks jagged and dark grey.
Something moved on one of the lower slopes, catching her eye. Another hill giant? No...
She blinked, squinting through the haze. There was a figure on the mountain, climbing steadily upwards. It was a person, but that was all she could tell from this distance. For a moment, she felt a sense of gratitude; Rock's eyes were much better than her own, which was the only reason she could make out anything at all.Whoever it was, they were moving in a group. The one person, alongside... two... monsters?
She watched them climb, slowly but surely, higher and higher. One of the figures suddenly stopped, pointing up towards the summit. It seemed like it was made of paper. A... shikigami? Was that the term? She hadn't thought those were real, but–
Mato laughed at herself. Of course they'd be real. With everything else going one, why couldn't magic also be real?
The star pressed itself against her back. She ignored it for now, watching the group of three continue to climb. She wanted nothing so much as to run in their direction, but something about the first one she spotted was making her nervous, and it wasn't just that he also had a giant blob of slime following him around, although that was disturbing enough. It wasn't something she could put her finger on. The snow was tempting, though. The mountains were a big place, and she was sure she could sneak around without being spotted.
The rest of the horizon was just more desert, though if she squinted, she thought she could see something sparkling a little bit counter-clockwise of the mountains. Maybe a lake. Or a river? She couldn't be sure.
The group continued to climb, and finally disappeared over a ridge. She waited for several minutes, but nothing further happened.
ooOOoo
Skill up!
Survival +1! New value: 1.
Although you're still in the tutorial, this is when things open up a little bit. I intend to, for the time being, let you plan Mato's actions in units of one day; however, this first day is already half gone. As going without sleep will do you no good at all, this means you can pick one (1) of the following actions. Or write-in your own. There's very likely to be more votes happening during each day, but this is how the start of the day will look.
Events up to now were largely setting the scene, and were predetermined to go roughly as well as they went. From this point onwards, I'll be rolling dice; you can expect to see some statistics on Mato once she learns more about herself, but you will have to use your best judgement as to everything else.
The list below is a start. You should not let it limit you. There is a four-hour moratorium on votes.
Investigation:
[ ] There is someone exploring the mountain ahead of you, and they look human. Even if they make you nervous, that is more than you had reason to hope. You might be able to catch them if you start now.
- Primary skills: Survival, Athletics
[ ] There is a hole in the world. It terrifies you, but in some stories it would be your only way home. You can see buildings there. It also might be a quick way to the grave.
- Primary skills: Occult, Stealth
Exploration:
[ ] The mountains have snow. Forget the other people climbing it: you just want something to drink, so you'll take it slow. You'll see more of the world from up there, besides.
- Primary skills: Survival, Luck
[ ] There is something that looks river-esque winding its way down the mountain into the possible lake. A river would be a good way to find life, and would give you both water and potentially food.
- Primary skills: Survival, Luck
[ ] There is most likely a lake. The water might be stagnant, but at its size you don't think that would be the case? You're not an expert at this. It would at least be easier to get to.
- Primary skills: Survival, Luck
[ ] Forget all this; you want to go elsewhere. There has to be something over the horizon.
- Primary skill: Luck
Development:
[ ] Before you can understand the world, you need to understand yourself. You're here in Rock's body. How? You have a star, apparently. Why? And while you can't seem to achieve the feats of strength your sister managed, you are at least half as durable as her. Did you inherit any of Rock's other traits?
- Primary skills: Psionics, Occult
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I didn't know you were putting pics in, but those are usually put in spoilers because some people here are on mobile.
I know you're trying to be artistic, but...
I know you're trying to be artistic, but...
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
Quite impossible if I want them embedded this way, unfortunately, but they should be fairly small JPGs. I checked with https://brage.info/GAN/guided-diffusion/Stuck_in_a_narrow_cave/00/0999.jpg, and the HTML for this page is larger, so I doubt it's an issue.
Alright, so, priorities. On one hand we have absolutely nothing to our name - no food, no water, nothing except the clothes on our back. It's very important to see to these needs.
But there is someone there on the mountain, and while I know nothing about this setting (read: how dangerous it is), I think it'd probably be for the best to make contact with them sooner rather than later, if only because we don't know if we'll get another chance. Who knows, they might have spare food/water or have better survival skills than us.
But there is someone there on the mountain, and while I know nothing about this setting (read: how dangerous it is), I think it'd probably be for the best to make contact with them sooner rather than later, if only because we don't know if we'll get another chance. Who knows, they might have spare food/water or have better survival skills than us.
Highwind
To Rise From The Ashes
- Location
- Brazil
I'm browsing on mobile and my one complaint about the images isn't their filesize, but how they're aligned with the text. It does not play nice with my screen size and makes the text on the first two images be squished into what little space is free on the left side of the image. There's just enough space to display about two letters per line on the left of the first image, and a whopping five letters on second image. The third image is just wide enough to not leave space on the left and the paragraph starts right below it.
This is less of a problem when I rotate the screen, giving it more space to work with, but now the third image is the one with that problem and has space for just three letters.
It's not easy to read on my screen.
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Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
Better now?
Highwind
To Rise From The Ashes
- Location
- Brazil
Much better!
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
Unfortunately it totally broke on my own phone in the process!
I'll leave these in spoilers (or un-floated) until such time as the CSS gets fixed.
Highwind
To Rise From The Ashes
- Location
- Brazil
Oof.
I also went to see what it looked like when I rotated my screen and it definitely got worse like that as well.
I can see what you were going for and it would look really cool and unique, but it looks like the code isn't quite good enough for it yet.
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
I think between me and Xon we figured it out. Simple when you know how, but not precisely obvious;
Code:
[img width="50%" align="right"]Hopefully it works now. If not, please poke me on Discord so we don't clutter up the discussion any further.
SMT makes Dark Souls difficulty look like a cute kitten.
Its an RPG, but if you fuck up you can honestly just get OTK'd before you even get to take a turn. And that's just the random encounters. Bosses you need to be prepared and ready for or they just roll over you.
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
Once again I'm not going to say much without being asked, but just so you get the right idea here...
That thing we were hiding from? That was a mook. Barely a mook.
[X] There is someone exploring the mountain ahead of you, and they look human. Even if they make you nervous, that is more than you had reason to hope. You might be able to catch them if you start now.
- Primary skills: Survival, Athletics
- Primary skills: Survival, Athletics
If Mato feels wary about the person in the distance, there's a definite chance one might want to avoid them. That they can apparently control some of the local fauna is another worry.
If they're friendly that's great I guess, if they're not friendly, you might get wiped... or worse, controlled.
Rather... aren't humans usually rivals in the Nocturne world, as the final goal is to get your wish granted rather then anyone elses. Thus some might be out to eliminate or control the competition. Of course this requires the person to know that, but I thought some of them did. And some one who can control the locals... feels like some one who might know.
But that's just my rough speculation on potential dangers here. I'm not really familiar with SMT Nocturne beyond some bits and pieces. But I'm kind of inclined to perhaps go towards the potential river and lake. At least a chance its danger level is different then the total wastelands.
If they're friendly that's great I guess, if they're not friendly, you might get wiped... or worse, controlled.
Rather... aren't humans usually rivals in the Nocturne world, as the final goal is to get your wish granted rather then anyone elses. Thus some might be out to eliminate or control the competition. Of course this requires the person to know that, but I thought some of them did. And some one who can control the locals... feels like some one who might know.
But that's just my rough speculation on potential dangers here. I'm not really familiar with SMT Nocturne beyond some bits and pieces. But I'm kind of inclined to perhaps go towards the potential river and lake. At least a chance its danger level is different then the total wastelands.
Eternal_0bserver
(Unverified Bookworm)
- Location
- Earth, Northern Europe
[X] There is something that looks river-esque winding its way down the mountain into the possible lake. A river would be a good way to find life, and would give you both water and potentially food.
- Primary skills: Survival, Luck
- Primary skills: Survival, Luck
Mizu
Software Developer
- Location
- Victoria, Australia
[X] There is someone exploring the mountain ahead of you, and they look human. Even if they make you nervous, that is more than you had reason to hope. You might be able to catch them if you start now.
- Primary skills: Survival, Athletics
Allies are better than being alone, and there's only so long Mato talking to herself can remain engaging, I suspect. Plus going to the mountains means getting water, although on the environment front we're trading death by desert for death by blizzard.
- Primary skills: Survival, Athletics
Allies are better than being alone, and there's only so long Mato talking to herself can remain engaging, I suspect. Plus going to the mountains means getting water, although on the environment front we're trading death by desert for death by blizzard.
[X] There is something that looks river-esque winding its way down the mountain into the possible lake. A river would be a good way to find life, and would give you both water and potentially food.
- Primary skills: Survival, Luck
- Primary skills: Survival, Luck
jwolfe_beta
Semi Genre-Savvy Overlord
- Location
- Canada
[X] There is something that looks river-esque winding its way down the mountain into the possible lake. A river would be a good way to find life, and would give you both water and potentially food.
- Primary skills: Survival, Luck
- Primary skills: Survival, Luck
Vote closed
Fumi: 2.F
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
The next update is, well, not quite done. Christmas things. But since I've been working on another interlude for a while, I decided I could post this now; I hope it makes up for some of the delay.
Some of you will know exactly what is going on here. For everyone else, it's worth noting that Nocturne and Devil Survivors 2 semi-canonically takes place in the same timeline, at the same time, but only one at a time.
ooOOoo
As the shaking subsided, Kanno Fumi let go of the console in front of her and sagged to the floor. The ground still rumbled beneath her, but she barely felt it through the intense throbbing that pulsed in her head. She felt dizzy; all she wanted to do was lie down. Her head hurt. It hurt so much. The final wave of the earthquake had slammed her against the metal desk, and her whole right side ached and throbbed painfully, while the ringing in her ears made everything seem impossibly distant and slow. The room was silent save for occasional coughing from somewhere near where she had been sitting when the attack hit. Her chest felt tight, almost suffocatingly so.
She touched a hand to her forehead. It came away wet and sticky, her skin covered in blood from her wound, though thankfully she'd felt no bone fragments or worse. Head wounds always bled like crazy, and there could be a concussion. The lack of bone fragments didn't mean the wound wasn't bad; this one felt pretty bad indeed. She needed to bandage it ASAP. She needed–
The ringing in her head became irrelevant, as it occured to her that she'd yet to check on Hotsuin. Where was everyone else anyway? What had happened after the Demiurge had attacked them? The dragon seal had clearly worked, so–
A burst of adrenaline helped her lever herself to her feet. The room swam into focus. She was underground, beneath JPs, in the core of the dragon seal.
The ceiling above the thaumaturgical focus had caved inwards, bringing multi-ton components crashing down on the workbench behind her. The air stank faintly of something burning—could the headquarters be on fire? No, someone would be fighting it by now. The seal was– She glanced at one of her monitors, and that slight movement made her head feel like someone was twisting an auger into it from above.
A small crack marred the monitor, which showed nothing but static at first. Fumi frowned at it for several moments, trying to discern anything useful in the pattern, but then another cough reached through the ringing in her ears.
Fumi turned just in time to catch Airi Ban pushing herself up into a seated position.
The young girl, although she shouldn't have been here at all, seemed more dazed than injured. Perhaps she'd gotten lucky, or perhaps the summoning program she'd been testing had helped her escape harm, somehow. The concrete slab lying broken at her side should certainly have killed her, had it hit, which it plainly had. She only looked a little unsteady.
"Airi!" Fumi called over the noise of settling masonry. "You're all right?"
The girl—provisional JPs member, whatever—gave a shaky nod and managed a thin smile. Her gaze wandered aimlessly for a few seconds, then froze on something that made her stiffen. "Fumi, there's–"
"Not now."
It had to wait. The monitor had chosen that moment to flicker back to life, and Fumi got her first look at the state of the dragon seal. It was terrible news. The core of the seal was built into the sub-basements of the Diet, and should have at least kept everyone in the building safe, but Fumi had needed to run it at ruinous overload to have any chance at all of surviving the Demiurge's assault, even for the few minutes necessary. Now the projection machinery was largely ruined, its intricate internal structure melted away and exposed. The majority did not respond.
She flicked through camera feeds. A large portion of the Diet's main floor and a lot of the walls were collapsed or otherwise badly damaged, all her equipment running on battery backups and wireless links, but worse than that was the thaumaturgical state of the seal. Everything outside its physical extent had been shattered, the energy dissipating uselessly into the environment. Except for the very core itself—the room they were in—it was largely failing at its job of maintaining normal physics.
Kagutsuchi's brute-force assault on reality had left them trapped, the laws of nature outside her bunker in a thoroughly unstable and potentially explosive new equilibrium. Worse, for anyone within kilometers of them, they would be experiencing an immediate, massive influx of energy, likely killing everyone in Tokyo instantly in the same way the attack had crushed them and their machinery.
But if it had managed to destroy everything beyond those physical components of the sealing circle, what had stopped the demiurge before it finished breaking everything to smithereens, thus ending everything and everyone in sight? That would, at least, have given Tokyo a chance at survival. Had it truly grown that weak? Or was she missing something?
Her memories didn't say. Fumi had an unclear memory of Nyarlathotep flooding the dragon seal with its own corrosive power; hardly a credible recollection. If that did happen, it would scarcely have chosen to assist her. If it had chosen to do so–
Well. It would not have done so.
She took her hands off the keyboard. She couldn't fix the damned thing now, and the whole idea was a bust. She didn't want to die, but neither could she imagine there was much hope of avoiding that. If she so much as stepped outside this room, she'd disintegrate into exotic radiation, which made no sense by the way. In the middle of Japan? Stored energy was sustaining the seal for now, but that'd run wild and fail as soon as her laptop battery did. Bloody hell, Hotsuin was probably–
"Kanno-san?"
Her eyes snapped up to Airi. The teenager's voice was trembling and ragged, her eyes wide. A coughing fit seized the poor girl, who bent over, hacking hard enough to send droplets of spit flying, sputtering on the floor. The dust in the air must be choking her. She had the look about her of someone trying desperately not to cry, and succeeding miserably.
If there was nothing left for her to do, then she might as well comfort the child in front of her.
Fumi made herself smile reassuringly. She went and knelt beside the distraught girl, placing a hand on her shoulder. Airi reacted instantly, burying her face in Fumi's sleeve and clinging like a limpet. Her tears were hot and painful.
"It'll be alright," Fumi told her firmly, squeezing her hand gently to try to encourage her. "Everything will work out fine, I promise."
Then, she saw what had made the girl act up like this. Hotsuin's corpse lay in the center of the seal, half in shadow. His face had taken a severe battering from the collapsing ceiling, making it difficult to see his expression clearly, but she thought it would be something like satisfaction. He thought he'd succeeded, at least at helping his only friend survive.
Fumi swallowed, trying to make sense of a world that had suddenly lost all coherent meaning, and her hand on Airi's shoulder started trembling. She felt tears pricking at her eyes. This wasn't– he couldn't–
"Hotsuin," she managed after several more convulsive attempts to swallow down grief, "he was so..."
So coldly competent, so determined to use that ruthlessness to get what he wanted, but what he wanted was a better world. So driven, so willing to accept sacrifice in order to reach the next step forward. He hadn't hesitated for a second when it was his own.
A tremor ran through her body, but the feel of Airi still clinging to her, her shoulders shaking violently, drove all other thoughts out of her head. There was one more important matter to attend to, before Fumi could let herself dissolve. She helped Airi to her feet. The girl was unsteady, obviously suffering some sort of shock. She swayed, nearly falling. Fumi caught her by her upper arms.
"You okay?" Fumi asked in concern. Airi managed a faint nod, eyes widening.
"You're bleeding!" she exclaimed.
"Yes, but not too badly." She thought about it, then decided she should ask Airi to bandage the wound regardless. It would keep them occupied, and it wouldn't do to upset the girl more than she already had. "I've got a first aid kit. Do you know how to use them?"
The teen looked confused, still dazed and unable to cope at this point, but the prospect of doing anything was apparently far better than the idea of standing there and doing absolutely nothing. Fumi led the way towards the storage locker that held their first aid supplies, dodging fallen concrete blocks, while Airi looked around, staring wide-eyed at the damage. They reached the locker without mishap, but Fumi frowned when she tried to open it with shaking hands, and her gaze flicked briefly back to the dead youth on the floor. She was reminded of the first time they met; the same expression of steely resolve and cold anger on his face as the end drew near. He'd saved her life then.
And... now once again?
Fumi shook off those dark thoughts. What would he have said, or done differently if things had been reversed, with her lying dead in front of him? Would he have given up this easily? No, Hotsuin would have fought to his last breath to save whatever person had come within his grasp. That was the sort of person he'd been.
"Here," she said, pulling the first aid kit out of the closet. "I'll show you what to do."
It didn't occur to her until later to wonder at Airi's presence, and by then there was no reason to dig. Whatever had driven her to sneak down into the core room, it had left no traces on Airi herself. She was simply there, with her, taking charge of bandaging the young scientist's injuries, which turned out to be extensive but manageable. She didn't know if the girl even realized how improbable her presence was.
***
It was days later, as Fumi was hip-deep in an electrical cabinet jury-rigging another lightning mana converter, that the next two members of their little group appeared.
Fumi barely glanced up, absorbed by her task, as a few rocks came tumbling down the collapsed elevator shaft. The sounds made the hair stand up along her spine, but the whole Diet seemed poised to fall apart and it wasn't the first rock or the second she'd heard plummet from above. It hardly bothered the two of them, nor did they stop working.
A few minutes later though, there was a plaintive, high-pitched "Ow!" from the elevator shaft, followed by an indignant "That was my favorite shirt!"
Fumi and Airi fell silent immediately. They froze, listening to the sound of footsteps approaching the basement door, accompanied at some speed by rapid, heavy knocking, that sounded as though the door were being banged upon hard enough to break the metal frame.
Then silence returned.
It was a curious thing, that noise. No-one else should be alive in the entire city. Let alone here, climbing through an absolute death zone on top of a malfunctioning thaumaturgical apparatus buried deep underground. Fumi slowly got to her feet, stretching cramped muscles and wiping her face with trembling fingers, then turned back towards the armored door.
It swung inwards, banging heavily against the wall. Two girls—two children, younger even than Airi—crowded inside, smeared in dust, their clothes torn and seeming close to falling apart. They immediately sank to the ground in a huddle, staring at Fumi and Airi like deer trapped beneath human eyes for the first time in centuries. Then one of the girls started to cry, softly but uncontrollably, and the other hugged her friend tight, burying her face between dusty ginger curls and crying too.
Fumi could scarcely believe it herself. She was so stunned, the words just wouldn't seem to flow out, her jaw hanging stupidly a moment longer.
The older of the two girls on the floor, a thin creature who might have stood about Airi's size had she been standing up straight, finally recovered enough to look up at Fumi and smile shyly.
"Told you I felt someone down here, Yaya!" she blurted. "I'm Lulu de Morcerf Yamamoto," she continued in reply to Fumi's quizzical stare, gesturing at the other girl, "and this is my– friend, Yuiki Yaya. We found a ladder, we were trying to get down." Her tone was urgent and breathless, but her eyes glittered at Fumi. "The whole place tried to fall on our heads! Did you know it's all crumbling away above you?"
She spoke like an idiot, with none of the caution due one about to walk uninvited into an underground facility run by the military, where the very floor could collapse under her foot. As Fumi looked from face to disheveled, filthy face of this odd couple, she saw the utter shock and joy that was written clearly on both of them. Fumi couldn't begin to process it, but then Airi stepped forward.
Her hand shook when she extended it towards the children in confusion. "How... did...?" she stammered.
The smaller of the girls, Yaya, shook with silent giggles of pure glee.
"Lulu could feel you down here!" she declared. She got up and hugged Airi around the middle, lifting her off her feet, then let her down and just clung onto the girl for support. "It helped that there's... no-one else up there. At all." The way she said it, there were faint echoes of exhaustion in her tone. "I missed... feeling people."
"I'm not surprised," Fumi said.
The three girls turned to her then, Airi struggling free from Yaya's tight grip in order to take a step closer. It was obvious that she wanted to ask something, but didn't have the words for it.
"I think you know, Airi," she said at last. "If we were getting rescued, it would've already happened. I told you the outside of this sub-basement was lethal." She drew a breath, looking at the children who'd inexplicably made their way through an absolute death zone. "I was expecting we'd be stuck here. What does it look like up there? Yuiki-san? Yamamoto-san?"
The two children exchanged glances. Yaya pulled a jeweled necklace over her head, handing it to Lulu, who quickly hid it away before nodding solemnly at her.
"Not good, no." The little girl looked a smidgen less cheerful now, her lower lip trembling. "The building's in ruins, but at least it's a building. We were camping on top before Lulu noticed you down here."
"—The rest of Tokyo?" Fumi interrupted her, trying to understand what had driven them there. "Is it still there? How far's the edge of the suppression zone?"
Lulu looked doubtful about this question, but Yaya took charge again. It occurred to Fumi later that she might have tried to either way. She simply had too many thoughts, all crowding to get past her lips at once, and at no time after she got to know her had Yuiki Yaya ever kept them on the inside. Lulu, at least, knew how to pretend.
"There's nothing up there but desert. And ruins."
That seemed... less plausible. Fumi started thinking, but Yaya went on. Her voice was hoarse and thin with exhaustion, yet nevertheless excited to be talking to, well, anyone. She was starting to lose it now, though, her eyes dull, a dark bruise beneath the smears of grime across her cheek.
"Lots of ruins," she mumbled in response to Fumi's questioning stare. "There's nothin'... the sun's wrong. Everything's wrong! And you're the first people we've seen. Or heard," her voice caught a little on the second word. "In a week. Except for monsters. I was talking to Lulu's mom when it happened, since she was leaving. One second, the world tried to crush us to death. Then– nothin'. We were standing in a crater."
Airi suddenly reached out and put her small, dirty hand into Fumi's own, squeezing it hard.
Fumi felt almost relieved. How perverse was that? But this didn't– this felt far too large-scale to be caused by her own experiments. Was the world truly coming to an end then, like in the less plausible prophecies? She could scarcely begin to think it through. It hardly even mattered, did it? All that mattered now was these strange, disorienting kids, who might have a clearer understanding than anyone about just what was going on.
Kids that were crumbling in front of her eyes. That's right. She thought a bit more calmly. Airi, with her usual lack of sense, was one thing, but those two were obviously exhausted beyond all measure. Yaya, Lulu, however they'd gotten here, they looked like they still belonged in grade school. Yaya couldn't be much more than ten years old. If there really was some apocalyptic cataclysm unfolding, Fumi had no doubt that they needed help, badly, or they wouldn't have taken the risk of climbing down somewhere like this. Then, how– oh.
"Do you need food?" she asked. "Or water? We have–" A near infinite amount, now. "We can share. You must be hungry." The other members of JPs would no longer be needing any, but the children looked like half-dead, famished wolves, barely hanging on to consciousness by the strength of sheer stubborn will alone. She should have mentioned it immediately.
"Water..." Yaya nodded faintly, glancing around the dusty basement and its cracked walls, "and food?" She swallowed thickly, blinking as though fighting back tears. "Some clothes, too, if you have them? Please."
Fumi nodded.
***
It wasn't quite a feast, but there were MREs enough for four people, for a week or two. Plenty of time for the two of them to recover their health, for Airi to tear some JP's uniforms apart to make a couple of new outfits for the kids, and for Fumi, now armed with the knowledge that they weren't necessarily going to die, to make the start of a plan.
There was food for hundreds more in the rest of the building, now that they could access it. Enough for months, with four of them.
But that first day they all sat huddled together in a sort of silent vigil. All of them, even Fumi, had been starved of human contact, but Yaya seemed unable to stop hugging each and every one of them in turn, weeping quietly and burying her face in the others' hair.
The three children fell asleep in a loose circle, curled up close, and Fumi found herself watching them sleep.
She'd never thought of herself as good with children. Her only real girlfriend, Makoto, hadn't wanted children. Even the ones in her family were all grown and gone by the time she came along. She knew she'd always felt an aversion to their helpless dependence. Yet this trio...
As a scientist, she knew it was the lack of human contact speaking. As a person, she found herself oddly charmed. These children might very well be doomed to die. There was no way she could change that without risking their lives. But that night, sitting together inside their cramped, stuffy space at the heart of JPs, a room built within the guts of a now broken machine that she'd intended to prevent this exact scenario...
She didn't want to let them die. She really didn't.
It wasn't clear to Fumi how, exactly, she would succeed in keeping them alive. Even staying here in the protected core itself was impossible. The whole structure could easily fall apart and crush all four of them to death, so they would have to leave sooner rather than later. For now, she had no choice. Tomorrow, when they'd recovered a little, she'd be asking Yaya and Lulu how they'd come to survive this long.
She might have failed everyone else, but she was certain that Hotsuin would have wanted her to do everything she could to fight back anyway, if for no other reason than pure bloody-mindedness. Fumi, watching Airi curl protectively around Yaya and Lulu's sleeping forms in the flickering light from the damaged computers, decided she had at least a few more reasons than that.
Some of you will know exactly what is going on here. For everyone else, it's worth noting that Nocturne and Devil Survivors 2 semi-canonically takes place in the same timeline, at the same time, but only one at a time.
ooOOoo
As the shaking subsided, Kanno Fumi let go of the console in front of her and sagged to the floor. The ground still rumbled beneath her, but she barely felt it through the intense throbbing that pulsed in her head. She felt dizzy; all she wanted to do was lie down. Her head hurt. It hurt so much. The final wave of the earthquake had slammed her against the metal desk, and her whole right side ached and throbbed painfully, while the ringing in her ears made everything seem impossibly distant and slow. The room was silent save for occasional coughing from somewhere near where she had been sitting when the attack hit. Her chest felt tight, almost suffocatingly so.
She touched a hand to her forehead. It came away wet and sticky, her skin covered in blood from her wound, though thankfully she'd felt no bone fragments or worse. Head wounds always bled like crazy, and there could be a concussion. The lack of bone fragments didn't mean the wound wasn't bad; this one felt pretty bad indeed. She needed to bandage it ASAP. She needed–
The ringing in her head became irrelevant, as it occured to her that she'd yet to check on Hotsuin. Where was everyone else anyway? What had happened after the Demiurge had attacked them? The dragon seal had clearly worked, so–
A burst of adrenaline helped her lever herself to her feet. The room swam into focus. She was underground, beneath JPs, in the core of the dragon seal.
The ceiling above the thaumaturgical focus had caved inwards, bringing multi-ton components crashing down on the workbench behind her. The air stank faintly of something burning—could the headquarters be on fire? No, someone would be fighting it by now. The seal was– She glanced at one of her monitors, and that slight movement made her head feel like someone was twisting an auger into it from above.
A small crack marred the monitor, which showed nothing but static at first. Fumi frowned at it for several moments, trying to discern anything useful in the pattern, but then another cough reached through the ringing in her ears.
Fumi turned just in time to catch Airi Ban pushing herself up into a seated position.
The young girl, although she shouldn't have been here at all, seemed more dazed than injured. Perhaps she'd gotten lucky, or perhaps the summoning program she'd been testing had helped her escape harm, somehow. The concrete slab lying broken at her side should certainly have killed her, had it hit, which it plainly had. She only looked a little unsteady.
"Airi!" Fumi called over the noise of settling masonry. "You're all right?"
The girl—provisional JPs member, whatever—gave a shaky nod and managed a thin smile. Her gaze wandered aimlessly for a few seconds, then froze on something that made her stiffen. "Fumi, there's–"
"Not now."
It had to wait. The monitor had chosen that moment to flicker back to life, and Fumi got her first look at the state of the dragon seal. It was terrible news. The core of the seal was built into the sub-basements of the Diet, and should have at least kept everyone in the building safe, but Fumi had needed to run it at ruinous overload to have any chance at all of surviving the Demiurge's assault, even for the few minutes necessary. Now the projection machinery was largely ruined, its intricate internal structure melted away and exposed. The majority did not respond.
She flicked through camera feeds. A large portion of the Diet's main floor and a lot of the walls were collapsed or otherwise badly damaged, all her equipment running on battery backups and wireless links, but worse than that was the thaumaturgical state of the seal. Everything outside its physical extent had been shattered, the energy dissipating uselessly into the environment. Except for the very core itself—the room they were in—it was largely failing at its job of maintaining normal physics.
Kagutsuchi's brute-force assault on reality had left them trapped, the laws of nature outside her bunker in a thoroughly unstable and potentially explosive new equilibrium. Worse, for anyone within kilometers of them, they would be experiencing an immediate, massive influx of energy, likely killing everyone in Tokyo instantly in the same way the attack had crushed them and their machinery.
But if it had managed to destroy everything beyond those physical components of the sealing circle, what had stopped the demiurge before it finished breaking everything to smithereens, thus ending everything and everyone in sight? That would, at least, have given Tokyo a chance at survival. Had it truly grown that weak? Or was she missing something?
Her memories didn't say. Fumi had an unclear memory of Nyarlathotep flooding the dragon seal with its own corrosive power; hardly a credible recollection. If that did happen, it would scarcely have chosen to assist her. If it had chosen to do so–
Well. It would not have done so.
She took her hands off the keyboard. She couldn't fix the damned thing now, and the whole idea was a bust. She didn't want to die, but neither could she imagine there was much hope of avoiding that. If she so much as stepped outside this room, she'd disintegrate into exotic radiation, which made no sense by the way. In the middle of Japan? Stored energy was sustaining the seal for now, but that'd run wild and fail as soon as her laptop battery did. Bloody hell, Hotsuin was probably–
"Kanno-san?"
Her eyes snapped up to Airi. The teenager's voice was trembling and ragged, her eyes wide. A coughing fit seized the poor girl, who bent over, hacking hard enough to send droplets of spit flying, sputtering on the floor. The dust in the air must be choking her. She had the look about her of someone trying desperately not to cry, and succeeding miserably.
If there was nothing left for her to do, then she might as well comfort the child in front of her.
Fumi made herself smile reassuringly. She went and knelt beside the distraught girl, placing a hand on her shoulder. Airi reacted instantly, burying her face in Fumi's sleeve and clinging like a limpet. Her tears were hot and painful.
"It'll be alright," Fumi told her firmly, squeezing her hand gently to try to encourage her. "Everything will work out fine, I promise."
Then, she saw what had made the girl act up like this. Hotsuin's corpse lay in the center of the seal, half in shadow. His face had taken a severe battering from the collapsing ceiling, making it difficult to see his expression clearly, but she thought it would be something like satisfaction. He thought he'd succeeded, at least at helping his only friend survive.
Fumi swallowed, trying to make sense of a world that had suddenly lost all coherent meaning, and her hand on Airi's shoulder started trembling. She felt tears pricking at her eyes. This wasn't– he couldn't–
"Hotsuin," she managed after several more convulsive attempts to swallow down grief, "he was so..."
So coldly competent, so determined to use that ruthlessness to get what he wanted, but what he wanted was a better world. So driven, so willing to accept sacrifice in order to reach the next step forward. He hadn't hesitated for a second when it was his own.
A tremor ran through her body, but the feel of Airi still clinging to her, her shoulders shaking violently, drove all other thoughts out of her head. There was one more important matter to attend to, before Fumi could let herself dissolve. She helped Airi to her feet. The girl was unsteady, obviously suffering some sort of shock. She swayed, nearly falling. Fumi caught her by her upper arms.
"You okay?" Fumi asked in concern. Airi managed a faint nod, eyes widening.
"You're bleeding!" she exclaimed.
"Yes, but not too badly." She thought about it, then decided she should ask Airi to bandage the wound regardless. It would keep them occupied, and it wouldn't do to upset the girl more than she already had. "I've got a first aid kit. Do you know how to use them?"
The teen looked confused, still dazed and unable to cope at this point, but the prospect of doing anything was apparently far better than the idea of standing there and doing absolutely nothing. Fumi led the way towards the storage locker that held their first aid supplies, dodging fallen concrete blocks, while Airi looked around, staring wide-eyed at the damage. They reached the locker without mishap, but Fumi frowned when she tried to open it with shaking hands, and her gaze flicked briefly back to the dead youth on the floor. She was reminded of the first time they met; the same expression of steely resolve and cold anger on his face as the end drew near. He'd saved her life then.
And... now once again?
Fumi shook off those dark thoughts. What would he have said, or done differently if things had been reversed, with her lying dead in front of him? Would he have given up this easily? No, Hotsuin would have fought to his last breath to save whatever person had come within his grasp. That was the sort of person he'd been.
"Here," she said, pulling the first aid kit out of the closet. "I'll show you what to do."
It didn't occur to her until later to wonder at Airi's presence, and by then there was no reason to dig. Whatever had driven her to sneak down into the core room, it had left no traces on Airi herself. She was simply there, with her, taking charge of bandaging the young scientist's injuries, which turned out to be extensive but manageable. She didn't know if the girl even realized how improbable her presence was.
***
It was days later, as Fumi was hip-deep in an electrical cabinet jury-rigging another lightning mana converter, that the next two members of their little group appeared.
Fumi barely glanced up, absorbed by her task, as a few rocks came tumbling down the collapsed elevator shaft. The sounds made the hair stand up along her spine, but the whole Diet seemed poised to fall apart and it wasn't the first rock or the second she'd heard plummet from above. It hardly bothered the two of them, nor did they stop working.
A few minutes later though, there was a plaintive, high-pitched "Ow!" from the elevator shaft, followed by an indignant "That was my favorite shirt!"
Fumi and Airi fell silent immediately. They froze, listening to the sound of footsteps approaching the basement door, accompanied at some speed by rapid, heavy knocking, that sounded as though the door were being banged upon hard enough to break the metal frame.
Then silence returned.
It was a curious thing, that noise. No-one else should be alive in the entire city. Let alone here, climbing through an absolute death zone on top of a malfunctioning thaumaturgical apparatus buried deep underground. Fumi slowly got to her feet, stretching cramped muscles and wiping her face with trembling fingers, then turned back towards the armored door.
It swung inwards, banging heavily against the wall. Two girls—two children, younger even than Airi—crowded inside, smeared in dust, their clothes torn and seeming close to falling apart. They immediately sank to the ground in a huddle, staring at Fumi and Airi like deer trapped beneath human eyes for the first time in centuries. Then one of the girls started to cry, softly but uncontrollably, and the other hugged her friend tight, burying her face between dusty ginger curls and crying too.
Fumi could scarcely believe it herself. She was so stunned, the words just wouldn't seem to flow out, her jaw hanging stupidly a moment longer.
The older of the two girls on the floor, a thin creature who might have stood about Airi's size had she been standing up straight, finally recovered enough to look up at Fumi and smile shyly.
"Told you I felt someone down here, Yaya!" she blurted. "I'm Lulu de Morcerf Yamamoto," she continued in reply to Fumi's quizzical stare, gesturing at the other girl, "and this is my– friend, Yuiki Yaya. We found a ladder, we were trying to get down." Her tone was urgent and breathless, but her eyes glittered at Fumi. "The whole place tried to fall on our heads! Did you know it's all crumbling away above you?"
She spoke like an idiot, with none of the caution due one about to walk uninvited into an underground facility run by the military, where the very floor could collapse under her foot. As Fumi looked from face to disheveled, filthy face of this odd couple, she saw the utter shock and joy that was written clearly on both of them. Fumi couldn't begin to process it, but then Airi stepped forward.
Her hand shook when she extended it towards the children in confusion. "How... did...?" she stammered.
The smaller of the girls, Yaya, shook with silent giggles of pure glee.
"Lulu could feel you down here!" she declared. She got up and hugged Airi around the middle, lifting her off her feet, then let her down and just clung onto the girl for support. "It helped that there's... no-one else up there. At all." The way she said it, there were faint echoes of exhaustion in her tone. "I missed... feeling people."
"I'm not surprised," Fumi said.
The three girls turned to her then, Airi struggling free from Yaya's tight grip in order to take a step closer. It was obvious that she wanted to ask something, but didn't have the words for it.
"I think you know, Airi," she said at last. "If we were getting rescued, it would've already happened. I told you the outside of this sub-basement was lethal." She drew a breath, looking at the children who'd inexplicably made their way through an absolute death zone. "I was expecting we'd be stuck here. What does it look like up there? Yuiki-san? Yamamoto-san?"
The two children exchanged glances. Yaya pulled a jeweled necklace over her head, handing it to Lulu, who quickly hid it away before nodding solemnly at her.
"Not good, no." The little girl looked a smidgen less cheerful now, her lower lip trembling. "The building's in ruins, but at least it's a building. We were camping on top before Lulu noticed you down here."
"—The rest of Tokyo?" Fumi interrupted her, trying to understand what had driven them there. "Is it still there? How far's the edge of the suppression zone?"
Lulu looked doubtful about this question, but Yaya took charge again. It occurred to Fumi later that she might have tried to either way. She simply had too many thoughts, all crowding to get past her lips at once, and at no time after she got to know her had Yuiki Yaya ever kept them on the inside. Lulu, at least, knew how to pretend.
"There's nothing up there but desert. And ruins."
That seemed... less plausible. Fumi started thinking, but Yaya went on. Her voice was hoarse and thin with exhaustion, yet nevertheless excited to be talking to, well, anyone. She was starting to lose it now, though, her eyes dull, a dark bruise beneath the smears of grime across her cheek.
"Lots of ruins," she mumbled in response to Fumi's questioning stare. "There's nothin'... the sun's wrong. Everything's wrong! And you're the first people we've seen. Or heard," her voice caught a little on the second word. "In a week. Except for monsters. I was talking to Lulu's mom when it happened, since she was leaving. One second, the world tried to crush us to death. Then– nothin'. We were standing in a crater."
Airi suddenly reached out and put her small, dirty hand into Fumi's own, squeezing it hard.
Fumi felt almost relieved. How perverse was that? But this didn't– this felt far too large-scale to be caused by her own experiments. Was the world truly coming to an end then, like in the less plausible prophecies? She could scarcely begin to think it through. It hardly even mattered, did it? All that mattered now was these strange, disorienting kids, who might have a clearer understanding than anyone about just what was going on.
Kids that were crumbling in front of her eyes. That's right. She thought a bit more calmly. Airi, with her usual lack of sense, was one thing, but those two were obviously exhausted beyond all measure. Yaya, Lulu, however they'd gotten here, they looked like they still belonged in grade school. Yaya couldn't be much more than ten years old. If there really was some apocalyptic cataclysm unfolding, Fumi had no doubt that they needed help, badly, or they wouldn't have taken the risk of climbing down somewhere like this. Then, how– oh.
"Do you need food?" she asked. "Or water? We have–" A near infinite amount, now. "We can share. You must be hungry." The other members of JPs would no longer be needing any, but the children looked like half-dead, famished wolves, barely hanging on to consciousness by the strength of sheer stubborn will alone. She should have mentioned it immediately.
"Water..." Yaya nodded faintly, glancing around the dusty basement and its cracked walls, "and food?" She swallowed thickly, blinking as though fighting back tears. "Some clothes, too, if you have them? Please."
Fumi nodded.
***
It wasn't quite a feast, but there were MREs enough for four people, for a week or two. Plenty of time for the two of them to recover their health, for Airi to tear some JP's uniforms apart to make a couple of new outfits for the kids, and for Fumi, now armed with the knowledge that they weren't necessarily going to die, to make the start of a plan.
There was food for hundreds more in the rest of the building, now that they could access it. Enough for months, with four of them.
But that first day they all sat huddled together in a sort of silent vigil. All of them, even Fumi, had been starved of human contact, but Yaya seemed unable to stop hugging each and every one of them in turn, weeping quietly and burying her face in the others' hair.
The three children fell asleep in a loose circle, curled up close, and Fumi found herself watching them sleep.
She'd never thought of herself as good with children. Her only real girlfriend, Makoto, hadn't wanted children. Even the ones in her family were all grown and gone by the time she came along. She knew she'd always felt an aversion to their helpless dependence. Yet this trio...
As a scientist, she knew it was the lack of human contact speaking. As a person, she found herself oddly charmed. These children might very well be doomed to die. There was no way she could change that without risking their lives. But that night, sitting together inside their cramped, stuffy space at the heart of JPs, a room built within the guts of a now broken machine that she'd intended to prevent this exact scenario...
She didn't want to let them die. She really didn't.
It wasn't clear to Fumi how, exactly, she would succeed in keeping them alive. Even staying here in the protected core itself was impossible. The whole structure could easily fall apart and crush all four of them to death, so they would have to leave sooner rather than later. For now, she had no choice. Tomorrow, when they'd recovered a little, she'd be asking Yaya and Lulu how they'd come to survive this long.
She might have failed everyone else, but she was certain that Hotsuin would have wanted her to do everything she could to fight back anyway, if for no other reason than pure bloody-mindedness. Fumi, watching Airi curl protectively around Yaya and Lulu's sleeping forms in the flickering light from the damaged computers, decided she had at least a few more reasons than that.
Last edited:
Birth: 1.3
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
She didn't have a sister. She didn't, and the identical-looking girl who slunk behind Mato at Kohachi's words, backing up to the rooftop fence while radiating hurt with an intensity that made Mato herself tear up... was nothing more than her imaginary twin. And yet Mato was starting to realise something about Rock that had eluded her, even after half a day spent being with her.
She mattered. She mattered so much, Mato had to stop herself from lashing out at Kohachi. She couldn't blame her, couldn't say it wasn't scary and confusing, but Rock's hurt radiated through her—and back—in a cycle that still bubbled away as she took a deep breath and forced out a response.
"Kohachi. Please..."
Waves lapping against the beach. That was how Mato imagined Kohachi's expression: gentle waves washing across her features. The sea was calm, the sun warm, but there was fear in Kohachi's eyes. Fear of Mato, that mirrored the anger Mato didn't want to feel.
"Please," she repeated softly.
Kohata-chan circled them to approach Yomi, keeping a wary eye on Mato and, particularly, Rock. She looked afraid. Mato had hurt her friends before, try as she might to avoid it, but never had she seen one of her closest friends look at her that way. She couldn't blame her; she told herself that. She couldn't. Kohachi just said she remembered Rock killing her, for god's sake.
Mato had worked out when that had happened weeks ago, reading through her dream journal with the benefit of hindsight; she'd just been hoping Kohachi might have forgotten. And there hadn't been a hint of doubt in her mind; she'd known exactly who Rock was attacking the instant she saw her. Only the fact that she'd still thought those were dreams had stopped it from becoming a particularly terrible nightmare. She knew better now.
So should she lie? Pretend everything was fine?
Why was she even thinking of that as an option?
Would she be capable, if she tried?
She wanted to grab the girl and shake her. She wanted the confident, ever smiling Kohachi back. She wanted to hunt her down for hurting Rock. She couldn't believe she was having these thoughts at all, let alone considered acting on them.
She needed to figure out what to do, right now.
...
Later. She needed to figure it out later. Kohachi was scared of them. Maybe an overly aggressive hug would help?
…
The sudden, intrusive thought derailed her internal turmoil before it could spill out into the real world.
"Are you two okay?" Yomi asked, stepping forward, and Mato took a deep, calming breath. Rock nearly giggled, the sudden burst of humour spilling over into her otherself before they could get it under control.
Her other half had hidden fully behind her, practically clinging to her own back, but at that moment neither of her was quite sure who was who. She had to take a quick glance at her uniform, which Mato had decorated and Rock hadn't, to make sure that Mato's body was still the one in front — and it wasn't, they'd swapped places somehow. The urge to grab herself and run away was nearly uncontrollable.
She had to work some sense into the jumble inside her. Right now. She'd done this before, just never while awake.
"Seriously, are you okay?" Yomi asked. She'd placed herself between the three girls. "You look a bit rattled." She gave each of them a searching look. "More than a bit. Is something wrong?"
Mato shook her head. She couldn't quite meet Yomi's gaze, and Rock was looking down at her feet, shuffling a little.
"We're fine," Mato said, trying to sound convincing. She knew, down to the combat-booted soles of her soul, that she was in over her head. But what about Kohachi? Should she really get one of her few innocent friends mixed up in this... this giant mess that was her life? She felt like she wanted to scream. But if the alternative was lying–
"You're obviously not fine!" Yomi said sharply. "You've both gone as white as a sheet! You're not okay!"
Mato closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She opened them again, forcing herself to meet Yomi's gaze.
"I know," she said. Part of her wanted to laugh hysterically. This was not a good ending to her lunch break! "But we can't leave. If we don't explain things to Kohachi—to Kohata-senpai—right now, she'll think we've gone crazy. She'll be scared of us. I don't want that."
Yomi stared at her, and Mato was sure she could see the wheels turning in her friend's head. "I'm not convinced," Yomi said, finally. "But if you're determined to stay, then I'll help. Arata-san, sit down. We're going to tell you a story."
The only response that Mato managed, barely audible, was "Yeah. I have a lot to tell you."
Kohachi– Kohachi hadn't forgotten. And she wouldn't forgive. Not this. She could explain things to Kohata-chan and hope she left her alone, and she would, but if Mato pushed her away right now—if she asked Kohachi to mind her own business, even in the nicest way possible—then she'd lose her. Mato felt sure of it.
Her hands clenched, tight enough to hurt. She felt a pain in her chest, a sharp stab of loss, and she blinked rapidly. Kohachi stood there. Staring at Rock. Fearful, scared of the monster that everyone else saw, the girl that Mato couldn't control or understand.
She glanced down at their linked hands, and then at Rock, who looked up briefly to give her a guilty smile.
At which point Yomi decided she'd had enough, came over and grabbed her in a hug that made Mato squeak. She wrapped an arm around her, another around Rock, and hauled them both out into the sunlight. They stumbled, and Mato could almost feel the bubble of despair bursting around them.
"Come on," Yomi said, leading them back to Kohachi. If her hand were trembling slightly from the contact, then only Mato could feel it. "Let's talk."
***
The silence dragged on. Mato, like Rock, stared at her shoes. Her hands would have felt cold, but Yomi's hand was warm around her left, Rock held her right, and she found herself holding on to them tightly as she waited for Kohachi to speak. This was bad, she thought. Bad. She was blushing for no reason she could identify; she hadn't been this embarrassed since... well, she didn't know when. Yomi didn't do this.
The sun warmed her back, and she could see the rest of the school out on the field below.
Finally, Kohata spoke.
"...How?" she asked hoarsely. She looked directly at Rock. "Why is she... real? What happened last spring? Is she actually your sister?"
Mato's whole body shook with sudden relief. The weight in her stomach lightened, just a little. Maybe. Just enough to keep her breathing for the next few moments.
"I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head. "I'm so, so sorry. I should have told you before. No, Kohachi. Rock's really–"
Her throat caught.
It took her a moment to recover her balance.
"My sister?" she said. "That's..." Rock's shivering intensified. The air around them had grown heavy, oppressive, almost tangible, and she found herself wondering whether she'd be staring down a hailstorm of swords at some point. "She's..."
Another wave of guilt washed through her. If she said 'no', it felt like she'd break something irreplaceable. Rock seemed smaller than she'd ever seen her; almost lost inside her uniform. It hurt, more deeply and desperately than it should have, to feel her that vulnerable and afraid. She was supposed to be strong. Stronger than this.
And yet here she was. Here they both were. She had no choice.
There were a couple of ways she could do this, and only one of them would let her do it without hurting anyone, herself included. She wasn't supposed to sacrifice herself anymore.
"Yes," she said, taking strength from Yomi's hand still in hers. "She is my twin." She swallowed hard. "Of a sort."
"Did we grow up together? No," Mato said. She squeezed their hands tightly, almost desperately, but her gaze never left Kohachi's face. "But we've known each other a long time. We grew up in the same house. We went to the same school. We've always been together." She smiled sadly. "We just weren't different people at the time. It's a long story, Kohachi. A long, sad one."
Kohata's brow furrowed. She looked confused, searching for the answer to a question she hadn't asked. She still kept a wary eye on Mato, but it was a look more of confusion and worry than outright fear or hostility.
Yomi shrugged at her.
Mato itched to go hug her. Instead, she and Rock sat down across from her, staring intently at the floor as though it held the answers to life, the universe, and everything. It did help, a little.
"...it's not quite right," Rock said quietly. Her gaze wandered, to Kohachi's reflection in the rooftop door.
"Rock?"
Rock's hand in hers was trembling. She felt the urge to take back what she said–
"I'm not you," Rock murmured. "And you're not me. Mato, you've never said those words. If you had–" She closed her eyes, as though the words were physically strangling her. "I think I would have tried to kill you. Not just beat sense into your head, but actually kill you. And myself, I guess." Her eyes flew open again. "...we've changed. But I was never a part of you. That fear, that anger at our dad– at the world– you pushed it away, and something else dragged it back, like someone glueing pieces of our soul back together with mud. It stopped you from healing. I think."
The words hung between them, and Rock looked down at their hands, holding tight, feeling the pressure of Mato's hand, but unable to squeeze back. She bit her lip. One of them did. Mato wasn't sure who.
"...I'm made of the fragments of Mato's soul that she didn't want," Rock said slowly. "They should have disintegrated. That's always what happens. It's what I've seen happening, everywhere but here, around this school. Mato, I don't have your memories, just flashes from the bits you didn't like, and a few instincts that don't make any sense now that I'm thinking clearly. I'm not sure I'm using the right words, and I'm not sure I remember it right. Kohachi–"
Rock looked up at Kohachi, who still stared back, unmoving.
"I remember you," Rock said, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. "When you first saw the letter. Remember? You looked so sad, and I–" She paused.
"What, Rock?"
Rock's voice sounded like she was on the edge of tears. She squeezed Mato's hand, but she couldn't look her straight in the eye—she just shook her head. Mato felt it as well, if at one remote; a Rock not wanting to talk was the same as a Rock who didn't draw her sword, who stepped back to give Kohachi space. It had taken her ages to realise that wasn't how they saw things. Rock wanted to tell Kohachi the truth. She just couldn't, because, if she spoke, it would shatter her. She'd promised not to do so again.
Yomi kept looking between them, waiting for an answer. Finally, she sighed heavily. "Fine. I can see you're not getting this, Arata-san, and I can't say I blame you. Mato, has anyone ever told you you suck at telling stories?"
"...are you going somewhere with this?"
Yomi's mouth was a flat line. "Just copying your sister. I see why she wanted to smack you," she said dryly. "Mato, I usually love you, but right now you're out of it, so listen. When you tell a story, you should start with the beginning, work your way to the middle, and end with the end." She raised an eyebrow. "You started at the end, then didn't explain anything." She shook her head. "You're hopeless. Start over. Better yet, I'll do it.
"Let's get one thing straight first, Arata-san: Mato isn't suffering delusions. Everything she just said was, I dare to say, almost certainly maybe possibly true. It might even have happened exactly as she described it. But she's speculating, at best." Yomi shrugged. "She's an emotional sap who hasn't got the slightest idea why she thinks what she does. She's breaking down because she's scared you'll hate her. The things she thinks are happening are simply guesses, wild conjectures based on whatever she sees in dreams, which are the delusions of a gun nut. Or at least that's what I thought until today."
"You were humouring me?" Mato said, feeling slightly disbelieving. She could feel Rock swallow hard.
"I guess, in a way," Yomi replied after a brief pause. "Rock's obviously real, and so is Black Saw. Your visions didn't match my own, but your point about Kagari was well made, and I remember not remembering you for a little while. Something screwy was going on, but you fell in love with your own ideas. There was no guarantee we weren't also a little crazy." Yomi half-smiled, a hint of nervousness creeping into her tone, which for Yomi meant she was crawling up the wall. "And last week you went on for half an hour about a rifle. A-although I do wish I'd believed you sooner."
"Yom... ah..." Mato cleared her throat. Her hand felt hot. "...it's okay. Really. Thank you." She returned Yomi's smile.
"Rock showed up out of nowhere today," Yomi said, looking at Mato. "Right? That's what you said. I saw her before, of course. In my dreams. So when she showed up in class today, I was a little shocked. It was like seeing a ghost."
"She's not a ghost," Mato said firmly.
"I know." Yomi leaned over to touch Rock's hand lightly, provoking a blush and a faint tremor. "Though she sure isn't acting much like her usual self. Is that normal?"
Rock shook her head. "Define... normal?" the otherself-turned-schoolgirl mused. "Normal is relative. Normal is fights, not– being spoken to and not seeing it coming. Out here, there's too much– skies, noise, even smells. I can't keep track of it all. I don't know how Mato does it. It's just that you're…"
Mato's sudden panic made her stop, and she turned her face away, looking at the door again.
"Well, it helps if you ignore them when you get it wrong. Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words–" Mato considered how badly washed-out the world had felt for a while. "Words can as well, I guess. But not yours."
The tension in her shoulders was ebbing; a sigh escaped.
"Sorry, Kohachi. It's been a hell of a day." She shook her head, smiling at nothing in particular. "We should at least give you some proof, right? Before I launch into the full story."
"That... would be nice, yes." Kohachi's brow wrinkled as she chewed on her bottom lip, still staring at Mato like she was a ghost herself. "No offence, but what you're saying sounds completely crazy."
"At least you didn't say I'm the one who sounds crazy. That's progress," Mato muttered under her breath. "But that's pretty easy," she said, getting up. "See that broken grating over there?"
Kohachi looked across the roof.
"Rock sliced that apart with a knife earlier," Mato said. "She can still project them, I guess, even though this isn't a dream anymore. All she does is–"
Mato held out her hand, twisting it in that peculiar, not quite physical way that Rock used whenever she wanted to make some kind of weapon appear. It was meant to be a demonstration. Just a gesture.
A long, straight, sharp blade materialised between Mato's open fingers, glittering silver and glinting faintly with the sun behind it. Kohachi gasped and instinctively leaned backwards.
Mato blinked. Slowly, disbelievingly. "Oh, wow," she murmured, staring at it. She glanced up, meeting the eyes of her audience. "Did you just witness a girl pull a kitchen knife from thin air?" She dropped the knife, watched it disappear halfway to the floor, and then slowly, elaborately, sat back down, turning back towards Rock and Kohata. A slow, nervous smile spread over her features. "Well. I'm in trouble."
The bell rang, though none of the girls gave it any thought.
***
It took several more demonstrations before Kohachi accepted that, yes, Mato could now conjure weapons from seemingly nowhere. Quite a variety of weapons, though she found the bread knife easier than most things—perhaps because she used it every day. The guns were best ignored. Still, she was surprised to discover she quickly got better at it with practice. Rock's blades appeared, reappeared, and eventually flew about on their own with no visible sign she'd touched them.
Mato had expected Rock to be enthusiastic about her new abilities, since it meant... well, she hadn't honestly thought further than 'Rock seems to like swords', which wasn't really Rock-specific. Instead, she was the first to nudge Mato and remind her that Kohachi was still shifting uncomfortably, looking distinctly anxious.
"Sorry," Mato said. "I was supposed to explain what happened, right?"
Kohachi nodded, still watching Mato carefully. Her gaze wandered to where Rock was sitting cross-legged on the ground beside her, leaning against the wall. Rock was staring at the sky. She seemed to be doing something with her hands, and Mato wondered if she was trying to summon another sword or something else.
"That would be good," Kohachi said haltingly. "If you wouldn't mind explaining, that is." She hesitated, then added, "I don't want to pry, but–" She gestured at the sword in front of Mato. "You said you wanted to do kendo for a while, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"Is that why-?" She stopped abruptly as Mato laughed quietly.
"Not particularly." Mato smiled wanly. "This is Rock's sword. It's the one weapon she always came back to. I guess we're attached to it, but don't ask me why. The first time I saw it was in middle school, and I don't remember. Some festival or other."
"I wasn't even plannin' to ask that..." Kohachi said, her eyes narrowing. "So why did she suddenly show up today? She did, right? I didn't jus' forget about her?"
"No." Mato sighed. "I've known her for months, but only in dreams, until she showed up at breakfast today. You thought you might have forgotten about her?"
Kohachi's mouth opened and shut. "I was just worried about you," she said. "Now I'm worried about everyon'. You know I forgot Underfoot a while?"
"She means Yuu," Mato whispered in her sister's ear. Rock nodded, a faint smile tugging at her lips.
"Mem'ries don't feel as solid anymore," Kohachi said. She pushed herself to her feet, taking a deep breath and pacing around the rooftop. This time she didn't look scared, so much as frustrated. "All these months, and I thought something might be wrong with me. I mean, I didn't know what was goin' on, but I was starting to wonder if I was losing my mind. I thought I'd been hallucinating, or dreamin'." She gave a shaky laugh. "Or maybe I had brain cancer or somethin'. Didn't dare ask mom, though I probably should've. But I was scared, an' I didn't want to worry 'er. Kept it to myself, I guess."
She looked at the other three girls. "I was hopin' it was just some kinda weird memory problem."
Yomi looked away, reddening a little. "I was pretty freaked out," she muttered. "No idea what happened. Couldn't remember a thing. One minute I didn't remember Yuu-chan or Mato at all, the next I was on my knees crying. Like I lost a limb or something." She grimaced. "I should've figured it wasn't just us."
Kohata looked at Mato, and then Rock. She licked her lips nervously.
"Why?" she asked. "What exactly happened?"
"It's honestly a long story," Yomi said, standing up. "Let's find somewhere more comfortable to talk about it."
"Let's…" Mato heaved a sigh. "Please. I need to relax a little."
"Well, we're already skippin' class." Kohachi looked at them, then blinked. "You didn't realise? Let' just stay up here. The sunlight looks good."
***
It was pleasant.
They found a corner and sat down together, the four of them sharing the remnants of a bag of chips that Rock had found stuffed into her pocket. Mato had a pretty good idea where it had come from, namely her bedroom, but there was no way to prove it. Rock might be a little bit gluttonous. Just a teensy bit.
"And, technically, it isn't stealing–"
She didn't want to hear it.
A smile tugged at her lips regardless. Of all the things Kohachi had expected, a bag of chips hadn't been among them. It had broken her fear completely, and Kohachi had sat down next to her. Mato had nearly cried when she was finally able to hug her friend again. And now her and Rock were eating chips together. It was a little odd.
"It's not theft," Rock repeated. "It's borrowing."
"Borrowing. Right." Kohachi frowned. "How's that work, anyway? If you borrow somethin', you gotta give it back someday, right?"
"Mato's possessions are my possessions," Rock said, primly. "That's how it works."
Mato giggled. "You see, Kohachi, it's like this: I am the owner of everything I possess. Rock's a me. Therefore the chips belong to both of us."
"But I'm eatin' 'em!" Kohachi protested. "And you're meant to be arguin' the other way, Mato. You two're definitely insane. 'Kay. I'll admit it. You're both nuts."
Rock grinned.
It was a much better feeling than her being afraid.
"I'm glad you're here," Mato said softly. "Really glad." She smiled at Kohachi, who returned it with a small one of her own. "Thanks for not running away, Kohachi. Really."
Kohachi nodded, swallowing hard. "Sure, though you still ow' me that story. What happened to you guys? And what happened back in spring?"
"Well, that…" Mato sighed, closing her eyes briefly. "It's not a nice story. And I'm scared I'll scare you again if I tell you. I think you need to know, though."
"Tell me anyway."
Most of Mato's friends thought she didn't think things through deeply, and there was some truth to that, but it wasn't as though she couldn't. Right now, she felt like she was trying to hold a flood back with her bare hands. There were too many thoughts crowding inside her head. Too many feelings.
"I wish..." she began haltingly. "I wish you hadn't remembered that you'd forgotten."
Kohata tilted her head, listening intently, but not saying anything. Mato continued.
"I'm tired," she said. "Of lying. Of keeping secrets. Tired of pretending, and being alone. The past few months... They were hard enough without this, but the real problem is what's going to happen now. I don't want to have to lie to you."
She stopped again, rubbing her forehead wearily.
"That's it?" Kohachi asked quietly.
"Hardly." Mato laughed bitterly, reaching out to take Kohachi's hand. "It's not like I wanted to keep secrets from you. I can't tell you everything, because I don't know everything. I don't even understand half the stuff that's happening. I'm sorry." She squeezed Kohachi's fingers gently. "But like I said, I'm scared. I'm scared that just knowing what's going on, remembering that scene, means you're in danger. I wish I could say that's why I never told you, but I'd be lying. It was just easier to pretend nothing was wrong. It was safer. For both of us."
She paused, gathering her scattered thoughts.
"You see, I dreamed about you, Kohata. The reason you lost your memory? That's my fault." Rock looked about to protest, but Mato shook her head quickly. "Not entirely. It's partly mine, and partly someone else's. But it was a mistake. And I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."
Kohachi's eyes widened. She stared at Mato for a long moment, then turned to look at Rock. She swallowed, and started to speak, but Mato cut her off.
"If your memories had stayed gone, that would have been it," she said softly. "You'd have forgotten about that incident. I'd have been able to pretend that it never happened. I'd have kept my secret, and everything would have been fine. We could've carried on like normal, and nobody need ever know. You'd have been safe."
"You're probably safe anyway," Yomi interjected.
"We don't know–" Mato stopped. The last thing she needed was to get upset again, but that was true for both of them. "Yomi's right. I just get nervous sometimes. But let me finish, okay?"
Kohachi nodded.
She squeezed her hands tightly. "You're too much yourself to let them stay gone, I guess. That's why you need to know," she said simply. "You need to understand."
"Understand what?"
Mato opened her eyes, meeting Kohata's gaze squarely, and ignoring Yomi's raised eyebrow.
"We already told you where Rock came from." She also ignored the laconic 'barely'. "As far as I can tell, it's an absolute miracle she's sane—that she's sane enough not to attack everything that moves, let alone sit here and eat chips with us. I don't know why she's so different from the rest of the otherselves, or what makes her tick, but she's not alone. There's–" She counted silently in her head. "There must be dozens of others out there. Maybe hundreds. I know six, including Rock. There's Yuu–"
Her voice hitched. Kohachi took over, continuing the sequence. "And Yomi, Kagari and... yourself, right? But who's the sixth?"
She shook her head. "I was counting otherselves. It's Rock, Yuu, and then Kagari and Yomi's... and Saya's. Be careful of her, she's dangerous."
"I... kinda gathered," Kohachi said after a pause. "Whatever she was doing, it wasn't counselling. She was really scary. So, who's the sixth?"
"I used to see through Rock's eyes in my dreams," Mato said, in lieu of answering. "I saw what she did to you. Since you remember... I think you can guess."
"Me?" Kohachi asked, looking at the ground.
"Yeah." Mato nodded slowly. "Rock destroyed your otherself before it got anywhere. Before it took enough from you to hurt you. That's not its fault, something about us just makes that happen, but I was hoping it'd end there. Hoped it wouldn't do enough damage that we'd notice." She sighed heavily. "But if you remember, then it's back… in some form. Which means you need to know about this. About how it works. Because if you don't, you're going to be driven insane. Or worse." She leaned forward suddenly and hugged Kohachi close. "I won't let anything bad happen to you, Kohachi. Nothing."
Kohachi looked up into Mato's face and gave a shaky nod.
"Mato's speculating, to be clear," Yomi broke in hastily. "She has no idea whether or not that's really how it works. Even if it is, we've figured out ways around it. You just have to be careful."
"Careful 'bout what?" Kohachi demanded. She pushed away from Mato, sitting back on her heels. She looked scared, again, which wasn't what Mato had hoped for, but wasn't unexpected either.
Yomi shrugged helplessly. "Everything."
"If you pretend you're someone you're not... you'll regret it," Mato said firmly. "Trust me on this. No matter how much it hurts, if you pretend that it doesn't... it'll stop, and you'll lose that part of yourself forever. Don't forget who you are. Don't want to."
Kohachi looked at Mato, and Mato met her gaze steadily.
"You're talkin' bout my boyfriend," Kohachi murmured. "Right? That time he did that dam' fool thing an' I nearly cried in the corridor? An' then I–" She stopped abruptly. "That's when I forgot he even existed."
She blinked rapidly, tears in her eyes.
"If you remember that, then this will be easier," Mato said. "That's the risk. Do that over and over again, a hundred times over, and..." She nodded towards Rock. "The fragments seem to gather together on their own. They remember being a person. And if you don't stop–" She hesitated. "They become like Rock." She swallowed, and her voice trembled slightly.
"It gets worse every time. It's harder to fix each time. The less of you that's left, the more difficult it becomes. Eventually–eventually, the two of you swap places." She closed her eyes for a moment. "It's happened before." She opened them again, forcing herself to meet Kohachi's gaze.
"To you?" Her voice was very quiet.
"No." Mato shook her head. "Not to me. We're... balanced, I guess. But Yuu-chan..."
Kohachi listened in silent horror.
"The thing is, Yuu nearly did... die. She's still recovering. And..."
"Mato," Yomi said warningly.
"Sorry," she responded. "But– Kohachi's got to hear. An'–"
Rock was nervously playing with her powers. Making a gun appear, then disappear, then reappear again, and Kohachi's eyes followed it like a piece of magic trickery. Mato didn't even bother looking Rock's way. She let out a shuddering breath.
"...she might never fully recover," Mato said, almost choking on the words. "Dunno if you noticed. A couple of months ago. She..."
Kohachi tore her eyes away from the disappearing pistol, looking at Mato. "But... she's perfectly healthy?" She made it a question.
"Well, yes," Mato replied slowly. "Physically, she's fine. Perfect health, perfect weight, perfect teeth. Not a mark on her anywhere. But..."
She swallowed hard.
"I noticed she started actin' strange." Kohachi frowned, tilting her head slightly. "Wasn' like Underfoot at all. Almost like she was sleepwalking or something. She snapped out of it pretty soon. You're sayin' there's more'n that?"
"It's not a simple story. I should tell you the whole thing, but it'll take time. Can you listen, and not ask me questions until the end?"
Kohata nodded, squeezing Mato's hand reassuringly.
"Good," Mato said. She looked at Rock, who was nodding vigorously. "It started with Yuu. Over a decade ago, when she was in middle school..."
Kohata opened her mouth, and Mato held up her hand, cutting her off.
"I know," she said. "I'm getting there."
"Okay."
***
"So, then..." Kohata started. "Yuu was Saya's friend when Saya went to school. Things went badly, and she got– exiled to another world? Is that right?"
"That's part of it." Mato nodded. "I don't really understand how. Her and Strength had swapped places, so– the girl we always knew as 'Yuu', was–" She swallowed hard. Mato thought she'd gotten over this by now, but evidently not. "Strength became Yuu."
She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts. Her best friend was a ghost. Mato preferred not to think about that.
"She was my best friend, really. If it hadn't been for Yuu, I'd probably have died in that place." She smiled wryly. "I'd have killed myself. Instead, Rock and I, we figured each other out just in time. Yomi helped, and Kagari." She slung a hand around Yomi, who blushed furiously, but didn't draw away. Mato smiled a little at that.
"Anyway," she continued briskly. "Right at the end, Strength, she..." She swallowed again, and her hands clenched into fists. "She died. In the other world."
Kohachi stared at her intently.
"She sacrificed herself to save me," Mato finished. "Me, Rock 'n probably Yuu's as well, but she's not sure. Doesn't remember it very well. Anyway, they swapped places again, and..." Mato sighed heavily. "Yuu sorta saw her die, but she's her other half. She's... does it count as 'dead?' When Yuu remembers almost everything that Strength did? She's trying so hard to stay my friend. They're almost the same person. But they're different inside. I dunno how to explain it. Just, I..." Mato felt tears starting to prick at her eyes. She wiped them angrily away. "Just forget it."
She stood up, shaking her head. She didn't want to cry in front of Kohata.
"Yuu is more easily scared, isn't she?" Kohata asked. "I noticed. Underfoot used to roll over anyone who so much as hinted at tryin' to hurt you. She'd drag 'em into the locker room an' shout at 'em. Didn't matter how much bigger or stronger they were. She'd just dress 'em down until they behaved."
"She– what?" Mato spluttered. "No! She wouldn't!"
"She did." Kohachi grinned. "Was like 'Attack of the four foot badger.' I could've picked 'er up and dribbled 'er like a basketball, but where you were concerned, she'd do anything. I think you might've been bullied otherwise. I'd have put a stop to it, but– well, I didn't 'ave to. You've got a good friend in her, you know."
Mato opened her mouth to reply, then closed it again. She looked at Kohachi for a long time. Finally, she nodded. "Yeah. We got along great."
"You still do." Kohata looked thoughtful. "I dunno if you know, but you're all she was talkin' bout today. She's worried sick about you. Says you didn't call for the entire break."
"I couldn't..." Mato protested feebly, but she was starting to feel ill. A sharp pang twisted her insides, like her heart was twisting around inside her. "I'm sorry," she added quickly. "Really. I should've called."
Kohachi shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. "I'm not the one you should be apologisin' to, y'know. Why didn't you?"
She hadn't been able to face her. With all the little ways Yuu had changed, it was like talking to a stranger. Not all the time, not even most of the time, but every few minutes she'd say something that Strength just wouldn't have said. Something that was totally Yuu, and nothing like Strength, and that first day on vacation she had just... not called. Then, she'd not-answered her messages, barely admitting she was still alive. Pretty soon it had been too awkward to call.
She didn't say that. Mato knew it, but it was too painful to speak aloud.
"I dunno," she said weakly. "It's complicated."
"Sure it is." Kohachi nodded, but she seemed more troubled than before. "I don't understand any of this, but I can tell there's a lot more going on 'ere than you're tellin'. Well, you're here now. Let's go see her later, 'kay?"
Mato nodded mutely, while Rock glared daggers at the back of her head. Only Yomi didn't look surprised. Or disappointed. Mato supposed it would take worse than that to disappoint her.
When she thought of it like that, she almost wished Yomi would be angry at her.
"There's still the bit with Kagari," Yomi murmured. "I think we should tell her about that."
Mato looked up. "Are you sure? Isn't that kind of personal?"
Yomi looked back at her, then over to Kohachi. There were tears in her eyes. She was smiling a little, but there wasn't much humour to it.
"Honestly? Yes. We should ask Kagari, but I can't say I'm sure she'll cope with any heavy conversations yet. I'm tired of keeping secrets too. Maybe it's better if I tell someone. You know, Mato–" She spoke up here, so Kohachi could hear her. "– I always was a little jealous of the two of you. You befriend people so easily, and I don't trust anyone enough to do that."
"Jealous?" Mato frowned. "Why?"
"Because you don't try," Yomi said quietly. "You just... do. And I can hardly try. Not when Kagari was always there. Even though she was– how do I put this?– a friend of mine, she kept me from trying, because I knew what would happen. And I think I sort of forgot how. So, Kohachi–"
She stopped, twisting her hair around her finger.
"So, Arata-san," Yomi continued in a louder voice. "If you don't mind acquiring another needy, half-broken friend, I think I'd like to tell you everything. Just between us three, if it's all right. I'm sorry. It'll be another tale of woe."
ooOOoo
Name a definition of insanity. Any definition. Chances are Mato meets it.
You're going to see Yuu. That's not a question of if, it's a question of when; Kohachi is not taking no for an answer. So, let's ask ourselves when would be good, and consider what else we might do on this day, as well.
[Urgency][ ] Go find her immediately.
- Kohachi will make an excuse to pull her out of class. She's not especially bothered by the consequences; school doesn't seem important right now.
- This is doubling down on Mato being panicked and flailing, but also tells Yuu that she is really eager to make amends.
[Urgency][ ] During the next break is fine.
- You might possibly convince your teacher not to give you detention.
- The 'default' conversation pattern won't involve as much stuttering.
[Urgency][ ] After school.
- You could take her somewhere. Vote on where.
- [ ] A concert. There's a popular new idol holding a live today, and Yuu mentioned her before.
- [ ] The park. It's nice and quiet.
- [ ] The aquarium. You want to go here with Yomi sometime. Not Yuu and Kohachi.
- [ ] Exploring the town. Who knows what you'll find?
- [ ] Your house. It's familiar. You'd propose Yuu's, but she lives with Saya.
[Urgency][ ] Write-in
- You might do something else, or combine the options given.
[Tactic][ ] Write-in
- Mato knows how to talk to Yuu, she thinks. She does not desire suggestions. You may nevertheless give her some.
- SV sometimes writes good plans.
- SV sometimes writes terrible plans.
She mattered. She mattered so much, Mato had to stop herself from lashing out at Kohachi. She couldn't blame her, couldn't say it wasn't scary and confusing, but Rock's hurt radiated through her—and back—in a cycle that still bubbled away as she took a deep breath and forced out a response.
"Kohachi. Please..."
Waves lapping against the beach. That was how Mato imagined Kohachi's expression: gentle waves washing across her features. The sea was calm, the sun warm, but there was fear in Kohachi's eyes. Fear of Mato, that mirrored the anger Mato didn't want to feel.
"Please," she repeated softly.
Kohata-chan circled them to approach Yomi, keeping a wary eye on Mato and, particularly, Rock. She looked afraid. Mato had hurt her friends before, try as she might to avoid it, but never had she seen one of her closest friends look at her that way. She couldn't blame her; she told herself that. She couldn't. Kohachi just said she remembered Rock killing her, for god's sake.
Mato had worked out when that had happened weeks ago, reading through her dream journal with the benefit of hindsight; she'd just been hoping Kohachi might have forgotten. And there hadn't been a hint of doubt in her mind; she'd known exactly who Rock was attacking the instant she saw her. Only the fact that she'd still thought those were dreams had stopped it from becoming a particularly terrible nightmare. She knew better now.
So should she lie? Pretend everything was fine?
Why was she even thinking of that as an option?
Would she be capable, if she tried?
She wanted to grab the girl and shake her. She wanted the confident, ever smiling Kohachi back. She wanted to hunt her down for hurting Rock. She couldn't believe she was having these thoughts at all, let alone considered acting on them.
She needed to figure out what to do, right now.
...
Later. She needed to figure it out later. Kohachi was scared of them. Maybe an overly aggressive hug would help?
…
The sudden, intrusive thought derailed her internal turmoil before it could spill out into the real world.
"Are you two okay?" Yomi asked, stepping forward, and Mato took a deep, calming breath. Rock nearly giggled, the sudden burst of humour spilling over into her otherself before they could get it under control.
Her other half had hidden fully behind her, practically clinging to her own back, but at that moment neither of her was quite sure who was who. She had to take a quick glance at her uniform, which Mato had decorated and Rock hadn't, to make sure that Mato's body was still the one in front — and it wasn't, they'd swapped places somehow. The urge to grab herself and run away was nearly uncontrollable.
She had to work some sense into the jumble inside her. Right now. She'd done this before, just never while awake.
"Seriously, are you okay?" Yomi asked. She'd placed herself between the three girls. "You look a bit rattled." She gave each of them a searching look. "More than a bit. Is something wrong?"
Mato shook her head. She couldn't quite meet Yomi's gaze, and Rock was looking down at her feet, shuffling a little.
"We're fine," Mato said, trying to sound convincing. She knew, down to the combat-booted soles of her soul, that she was in over her head. But what about Kohachi? Should she really get one of her few innocent friends mixed up in this... this giant mess that was her life? She felt like she wanted to scream. But if the alternative was lying–
"You're obviously not fine!" Yomi said sharply. "You've both gone as white as a sheet! You're not okay!"
Mato closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She opened them again, forcing herself to meet Yomi's gaze.
"I know," she said. Part of her wanted to laugh hysterically. This was not a good ending to her lunch break! "But we can't leave. If we don't explain things to Kohachi—to Kohata-senpai—right now, she'll think we've gone crazy. She'll be scared of us. I don't want that."
Yomi stared at her, and Mato was sure she could see the wheels turning in her friend's head. "I'm not convinced," Yomi said, finally. "But if you're determined to stay, then I'll help. Arata-san, sit down. We're going to tell you a story."
The only response that Mato managed, barely audible, was "Yeah. I have a lot to tell you."
Kohachi– Kohachi hadn't forgotten. And she wouldn't forgive. Not this. She could explain things to Kohata-chan and hope she left her alone, and she would, but if Mato pushed her away right now—if she asked Kohachi to mind her own business, even in the nicest way possible—then she'd lose her. Mato felt sure of it.
Her hands clenched, tight enough to hurt. She felt a pain in her chest, a sharp stab of loss, and she blinked rapidly. Kohachi stood there. Staring at Rock. Fearful, scared of the monster that everyone else saw, the girl that Mato couldn't control or understand.
She glanced down at their linked hands, and then at Rock, who looked up briefly to give her a guilty smile.
At which point Yomi decided she'd had enough, came over and grabbed her in a hug that made Mato squeak. She wrapped an arm around her, another around Rock, and hauled them both out into the sunlight. They stumbled, and Mato could almost feel the bubble of despair bursting around them.
"Come on," Yomi said, leading them back to Kohachi. If her hand were trembling slightly from the contact, then only Mato could feel it. "Let's talk."
***
The silence dragged on. Mato, like Rock, stared at her shoes. Her hands would have felt cold, but Yomi's hand was warm around her left, Rock held her right, and she found herself holding on to them tightly as she waited for Kohachi to speak. This was bad, she thought. Bad. She was blushing for no reason she could identify; she hadn't been this embarrassed since... well, she didn't know when. Yomi didn't do this.
The sun warmed her back, and she could see the rest of the school out on the field below.
Finally, Kohata spoke.
"...How?" she asked hoarsely. She looked directly at Rock. "Why is she... real? What happened last spring? Is she actually your sister?"
Mato's whole body shook with sudden relief. The weight in her stomach lightened, just a little. Maybe. Just enough to keep her breathing for the next few moments.
"I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head. "I'm so, so sorry. I should have told you before. No, Kohachi. Rock's really–"
Her throat caught.
It took her a moment to recover her balance.
"My sister?" she said. "That's..." Rock's shivering intensified. The air around them had grown heavy, oppressive, almost tangible, and she found herself wondering whether she'd be staring down a hailstorm of swords at some point. "She's..."
Another wave of guilt washed through her. If she said 'no', it felt like she'd break something irreplaceable. Rock seemed smaller than she'd ever seen her; almost lost inside her uniform. It hurt, more deeply and desperately than it should have, to feel her that vulnerable and afraid. She was supposed to be strong. Stronger than this.
And yet here she was. Here they both were. She had no choice.
There were a couple of ways she could do this, and only one of them would let her do it without hurting anyone, herself included. She wasn't supposed to sacrifice herself anymore.
"Yes," she said, taking strength from Yomi's hand still in hers. "She is my twin." She swallowed hard. "Of a sort."
"Did we grow up together? No," Mato said. She squeezed their hands tightly, almost desperately, but her gaze never left Kohachi's face. "But we've known each other a long time. We grew up in the same house. We went to the same school. We've always been together." She smiled sadly. "We just weren't different people at the time. It's a long story, Kohachi. A long, sad one."
Kohata's brow furrowed. She looked confused, searching for the answer to a question she hadn't asked. She still kept a wary eye on Mato, but it was a look more of confusion and worry than outright fear or hostility.
Yomi shrugged at her.
Mato itched to go hug her. Instead, she and Rock sat down across from her, staring intently at the floor as though it held the answers to life, the universe, and everything. It did help, a little.
"...it's not quite right," Rock said quietly. Her gaze wandered, to Kohachi's reflection in the rooftop door.
"Rock?"
Rock's hand in hers was trembling. She felt the urge to take back what she said–
"I'm not you," Rock murmured. "And you're not me. Mato, you've never said those words. If you had–" She closed her eyes, as though the words were physically strangling her. "I think I would have tried to kill you. Not just beat sense into your head, but actually kill you. And myself, I guess." Her eyes flew open again. "...we've changed. But I was never a part of you. That fear, that anger at our dad– at the world– you pushed it away, and something else dragged it back, like someone glueing pieces of our soul back together with mud. It stopped you from healing. I think."
The words hung between them, and Rock looked down at their hands, holding tight, feeling the pressure of Mato's hand, but unable to squeeze back. She bit her lip. One of them did. Mato wasn't sure who.
"...I'm made of the fragments of Mato's soul that she didn't want," Rock said slowly. "They should have disintegrated. That's always what happens. It's what I've seen happening, everywhere but here, around this school. Mato, I don't have your memories, just flashes from the bits you didn't like, and a few instincts that don't make any sense now that I'm thinking clearly. I'm not sure I'm using the right words, and I'm not sure I remember it right. Kohachi–"
Rock looked up at Kohachi, who still stared back, unmoving.
"I remember you," Rock said, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. "When you first saw the letter. Remember? You looked so sad, and I–" She paused.
"What, Rock?"
Rock's voice sounded like she was on the edge of tears. She squeezed Mato's hand, but she couldn't look her straight in the eye—she just shook her head. Mato felt it as well, if at one remote; a Rock not wanting to talk was the same as a Rock who didn't draw her sword, who stepped back to give Kohachi space. It had taken her ages to realise that wasn't how they saw things. Rock wanted to tell Kohachi the truth. She just couldn't, because, if she spoke, it would shatter her. She'd promised not to do so again.
Yomi kept looking between them, waiting for an answer. Finally, she sighed heavily. "Fine. I can see you're not getting this, Arata-san, and I can't say I blame you. Mato, has anyone ever told you you suck at telling stories?"
"...are you going somewhere with this?"
Yomi's mouth was a flat line. "Just copying your sister. I see why she wanted to smack you," she said dryly. "Mato, I usually love you, but right now you're out of it, so listen. When you tell a story, you should start with the beginning, work your way to the middle, and end with the end." She raised an eyebrow. "You started at the end, then didn't explain anything." She shook her head. "You're hopeless. Start over. Better yet, I'll do it.
"Let's get one thing straight first, Arata-san: Mato isn't suffering delusions. Everything she just said was, I dare to say, almost certainly maybe possibly true. It might even have happened exactly as she described it. But she's speculating, at best." Yomi shrugged. "She's an emotional sap who hasn't got the slightest idea why she thinks what she does. She's breaking down because she's scared you'll hate her. The things she thinks are happening are simply guesses, wild conjectures based on whatever she sees in dreams, which are the delusions of a gun nut. Or at least that's what I thought until today."
"You were humouring me?" Mato said, feeling slightly disbelieving. She could feel Rock swallow hard.
"I guess, in a way," Yomi replied after a brief pause. "Rock's obviously real, and so is Black Saw. Your visions didn't match my own, but your point about Kagari was well made, and I remember not remembering you for a little while. Something screwy was going on, but you fell in love with your own ideas. There was no guarantee we weren't also a little crazy." Yomi half-smiled, a hint of nervousness creeping into her tone, which for Yomi meant she was crawling up the wall. "And last week you went on for half an hour about a rifle. A-although I do wish I'd believed you sooner."
"Yom... ah..." Mato cleared her throat. Her hand felt hot. "...it's okay. Really. Thank you." She returned Yomi's smile.
"Rock showed up out of nowhere today," Yomi said, looking at Mato. "Right? That's what you said. I saw her before, of course. In my dreams. So when she showed up in class today, I was a little shocked. It was like seeing a ghost."
"She's not a ghost," Mato said firmly.
"I know." Yomi leaned over to touch Rock's hand lightly, provoking a blush and a faint tremor. "Though she sure isn't acting much like her usual self. Is that normal?"
Rock shook her head. "Define... normal?" the otherself-turned-schoolgirl mused. "Normal is relative. Normal is fights, not– being spoken to and not seeing it coming. Out here, there's too much– skies, noise, even smells. I can't keep track of it all. I don't know how Mato does it. It's just that you're…"
Mato's sudden panic made her stop, and she turned her face away, looking at the door again.
"Well, it helps if you ignore them when you get it wrong. Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words–" Mato considered how badly washed-out the world had felt for a while. "Words can as well, I guess. But not yours."
The tension in her shoulders was ebbing; a sigh escaped.
"Sorry, Kohachi. It's been a hell of a day." She shook her head, smiling at nothing in particular. "We should at least give you some proof, right? Before I launch into the full story."
"That... would be nice, yes." Kohachi's brow wrinkled as she chewed on her bottom lip, still staring at Mato like she was a ghost herself. "No offence, but what you're saying sounds completely crazy."
"At least you didn't say I'm the one who sounds crazy. That's progress," Mato muttered under her breath. "But that's pretty easy," she said, getting up. "See that broken grating over there?"
Kohachi looked across the roof.
"Rock sliced that apart with a knife earlier," Mato said. "She can still project them, I guess, even though this isn't a dream anymore. All she does is–"
Mato held out her hand, twisting it in that peculiar, not quite physical way that Rock used whenever she wanted to make some kind of weapon appear. It was meant to be a demonstration. Just a gesture.
A long, straight, sharp blade materialised between Mato's open fingers, glittering silver and glinting faintly with the sun behind it. Kohachi gasped and instinctively leaned backwards.
Mato blinked. Slowly, disbelievingly. "Oh, wow," she murmured, staring at it. She glanced up, meeting the eyes of her audience. "Did you just witness a girl pull a kitchen knife from thin air?" She dropped the knife, watched it disappear halfway to the floor, and then slowly, elaborately, sat back down, turning back towards Rock and Kohata. A slow, nervous smile spread over her features. "Well. I'm in trouble."
The bell rang, though none of the girls gave it any thought.
***
It took several more demonstrations before Kohachi accepted that, yes, Mato could now conjure weapons from seemingly nowhere. Quite a variety of weapons, though she found the bread knife easier than most things—perhaps because she used it every day. The guns were best ignored. Still, she was surprised to discover she quickly got better at it with practice. Rock's blades appeared, reappeared, and eventually flew about on their own with no visible sign she'd touched them.
Mato had expected Rock to be enthusiastic about her new abilities, since it meant... well, she hadn't honestly thought further than 'Rock seems to like swords', which wasn't really Rock-specific. Instead, she was the first to nudge Mato and remind her that Kohachi was still shifting uncomfortably, looking distinctly anxious.
"Sorry," Mato said. "I was supposed to explain what happened, right?"
Kohachi nodded, still watching Mato carefully. Her gaze wandered to where Rock was sitting cross-legged on the ground beside her, leaning against the wall. Rock was staring at the sky. She seemed to be doing something with her hands, and Mato wondered if she was trying to summon another sword or something else.
"That would be good," Kohachi said haltingly. "If you wouldn't mind explaining, that is." She hesitated, then added, "I don't want to pry, but–" She gestured at the sword in front of Mato. "You said you wanted to do kendo for a while, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"Is that why-?" She stopped abruptly as Mato laughed quietly.
"Not particularly." Mato smiled wanly. "This is Rock's sword. It's the one weapon she always came back to. I guess we're attached to it, but don't ask me why. The first time I saw it was in middle school, and I don't remember. Some festival or other."
"I wasn't even plannin' to ask that..." Kohachi said, her eyes narrowing. "So why did she suddenly show up today? She did, right? I didn't jus' forget about her?"
"No." Mato sighed. "I've known her for months, but only in dreams, until she showed up at breakfast today. You thought you might have forgotten about her?"
Kohachi's mouth opened and shut. "I was just worried about you," she said. "Now I'm worried about everyon'. You know I forgot Underfoot a while?"
"She means Yuu," Mato whispered in her sister's ear. Rock nodded, a faint smile tugging at her lips.
"Mem'ries don't feel as solid anymore," Kohachi said. She pushed herself to her feet, taking a deep breath and pacing around the rooftop. This time she didn't look scared, so much as frustrated. "All these months, and I thought something might be wrong with me. I mean, I didn't know what was goin' on, but I was starting to wonder if I was losing my mind. I thought I'd been hallucinating, or dreamin'." She gave a shaky laugh. "Or maybe I had brain cancer or somethin'. Didn't dare ask mom, though I probably should've. But I was scared, an' I didn't want to worry 'er. Kept it to myself, I guess."
She looked at the other three girls. "I was hopin' it was just some kinda weird memory problem."
Yomi looked away, reddening a little. "I was pretty freaked out," she muttered. "No idea what happened. Couldn't remember a thing. One minute I didn't remember Yuu-chan or Mato at all, the next I was on my knees crying. Like I lost a limb or something." She grimaced. "I should've figured it wasn't just us."
Kohata looked at Mato, and then Rock. She licked her lips nervously.
"Why?" she asked. "What exactly happened?"
"It's honestly a long story," Yomi said, standing up. "Let's find somewhere more comfortable to talk about it."
"Let's…" Mato heaved a sigh. "Please. I need to relax a little."
"Well, we're already skippin' class." Kohachi looked at them, then blinked. "You didn't realise? Let' just stay up here. The sunlight looks good."
***
It was pleasant.
They found a corner and sat down together, the four of them sharing the remnants of a bag of chips that Rock had found stuffed into her pocket. Mato had a pretty good idea where it had come from, namely her bedroom, but there was no way to prove it. Rock might be a little bit gluttonous. Just a teensy bit.
"And, technically, it isn't stealing–"
She didn't want to hear it.
A smile tugged at her lips regardless. Of all the things Kohachi had expected, a bag of chips hadn't been among them. It had broken her fear completely, and Kohachi had sat down next to her. Mato had nearly cried when she was finally able to hug her friend again. And now her and Rock were eating chips together. It was a little odd.
"It's not theft," Rock repeated. "It's borrowing."
"Borrowing. Right." Kohachi frowned. "How's that work, anyway? If you borrow somethin', you gotta give it back someday, right?"
"Mato's possessions are my possessions," Rock said, primly. "That's how it works."
Mato giggled. "You see, Kohachi, it's like this: I am the owner of everything I possess. Rock's a me. Therefore the chips belong to both of us."
"But I'm eatin' 'em!" Kohachi protested. "And you're meant to be arguin' the other way, Mato. You two're definitely insane. 'Kay. I'll admit it. You're both nuts."
Rock grinned.
It was a much better feeling than her being afraid.
"I'm glad you're here," Mato said softly. "Really glad." She smiled at Kohachi, who returned it with a small one of her own. "Thanks for not running away, Kohachi. Really."
Kohachi nodded, swallowing hard. "Sure, though you still ow' me that story. What happened to you guys? And what happened back in spring?"
"Well, that…" Mato sighed, closing her eyes briefly. "It's not a nice story. And I'm scared I'll scare you again if I tell you. I think you need to know, though."
"Tell me anyway."
Most of Mato's friends thought she didn't think things through deeply, and there was some truth to that, but it wasn't as though she couldn't. Right now, she felt like she was trying to hold a flood back with her bare hands. There were too many thoughts crowding inside her head. Too many feelings.
"I wish..." she began haltingly. "I wish you hadn't remembered that you'd forgotten."
Kohata tilted her head, listening intently, but not saying anything. Mato continued.
"I'm tired," she said. "Of lying. Of keeping secrets. Tired of pretending, and being alone. The past few months... They were hard enough without this, but the real problem is what's going to happen now. I don't want to have to lie to you."
She stopped again, rubbing her forehead wearily.
"That's it?" Kohachi asked quietly.
"Hardly." Mato laughed bitterly, reaching out to take Kohachi's hand. "It's not like I wanted to keep secrets from you. I can't tell you everything, because I don't know everything. I don't even understand half the stuff that's happening. I'm sorry." She squeezed Kohachi's fingers gently. "But like I said, I'm scared. I'm scared that just knowing what's going on, remembering that scene, means you're in danger. I wish I could say that's why I never told you, but I'd be lying. It was just easier to pretend nothing was wrong. It was safer. For both of us."
She paused, gathering her scattered thoughts.
"You see, I dreamed about you, Kohata. The reason you lost your memory? That's my fault." Rock looked about to protest, but Mato shook her head quickly. "Not entirely. It's partly mine, and partly someone else's. But it was a mistake. And I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."
Kohachi's eyes widened. She stared at Mato for a long moment, then turned to look at Rock. She swallowed, and started to speak, but Mato cut her off.
"If your memories had stayed gone, that would have been it," she said softly. "You'd have forgotten about that incident. I'd have been able to pretend that it never happened. I'd have kept my secret, and everything would have been fine. We could've carried on like normal, and nobody need ever know. You'd have been safe."
"You're probably safe anyway," Yomi interjected.
"We don't know–" Mato stopped. The last thing she needed was to get upset again, but that was true for both of them. "Yomi's right. I just get nervous sometimes. But let me finish, okay?"
Kohachi nodded.
She squeezed her hands tightly. "You're too much yourself to let them stay gone, I guess. That's why you need to know," she said simply. "You need to understand."
"Understand what?"
Mato opened her eyes, meeting Kohata's gaze squarely, and ignoring Yomi's raised eyebrow.
"We already told you where Rock came from." She also ignored the laconic 'barely'. "As far as I can tell, it's an absolute miracle she's sane—that she's sane enough not to attack everything that moves, let alone sit here and eat chips with us. I don't know why she's so different from the rest of the otherselves, or what makes her tick, but she's not alone. There's–" She counted silently in her head. "There must be dozens of others out there. Maybe hundreds. I know six, including Rock. There's Yuu–"
Her voice hitched. Kohachi took over, continuing the sequence. "And Yomi, Kagari and... yourself, right? But who's the sixth?"
She shook her head. "I was counting otherselves. It's Rock, Yuu, and then Kagari and Yomi's... and Saya's. Be careful of her, she's dangerous."
"I... kinda gathered," Kohachi said after a pause. "Whatever she was doing, it wasn't counselling. She was really scary. So, who's the sixth?"
"I used to see through Rock's eyes in my dreams," Mato said, in lieu of answering. "I saw what she did to you. Since you remember... I think you can guess."
"Me?" Kohachi asked, looking at the ground.
"Yeah." Mato nodded slowly. "Rock destroyed your otherself before it got anywhere. Before it took enough from you to hurt you. That's not its fault, something about us just makes that happen, but I was hoping it'd end there. Hoped it wouldn't do enough damage that we'd notice." She sighed heavily. "But if you remember, then it's back… in some form. Which means you need to know about this. About how it works. Because if you don't, you're going to be driven insane. Or worse." She leaned forward suddenly and hugged Kohachi close. "I won't let anything bad happen to you, Kohachi. Nothing."
Kohachi looked up into Mato's face and gave a shaky nod.
"Mato's speculating, to be clear," Yomi broke in hastily. "She has no idea whether or not that's really how it works. Even if it is, we've figured out ways around it. You just have to be careful."
"Careful 'bout what?" Kohachi demanded. She pushed away from Mato, sitting back on her heels. She looked scared, again, which wasn't what Mato had hoped for, but wasn't unexpected either.
Yomi shrugged helplessly. "Everything."
"If you pretend you're someone you're not... you'll regret it," Mato said firmly. "Trust me on this. No matter how much it hurts, if you pretend that it doesn't... it'll stop, and you'll lose that part of yourself forever. Don't forget who you are. Don't want to."
Kohachi looked at Mato, and Mato met her gaze steadily.
"You're talkin' bout my boyfriend," Kohachi murmured. "Right? That time he did that dam' fool thing an' I nearly cried in the corridor? An' then I–" She stopped abruptly. "That's when I forgot he even existed."
She blinked rapidly, tears in her eyes.
"If you remember that, then this will be easier," Mato said. "That's the risk. Do that over and over again, a hundred times over, and..." She nodded towards Rock. "The fragments seem to gather together on their own. They remember being a person. And if you don't stop–" She hesitated. "They become like Rock." She swallowed, and her voice trembled slightly.
"It gets worse every time. It's harder to fix each time. The less of you that's left, the more difficult it becomes. Eventually–eventually, the two of you swap places." She closed her eyes for a moment. "It's happened before." She opened them again, forcing herself to meet Kohachi's gaze.
"To you?" Her voice was very quiet.
"No." Mato shook her head. "Not to me. We're... balanced, I guess. But Yuu-chan..."
Kohachi listened in silent horror.
"The thing is, Yuu nearly did... die. She's still recovering. And..."
"Mato," Yomi said warningly.
"Sorry," she responded. "But– Kohachi's got to hear. An'–"
Rock was nervously playing with her powers. Making a gun appear, then disappear, then reappear again, and Kohachi's eyes followed it like a piece of magic trickery. Mato didn't even bother looking Rock's way. She let out a shuddering breath.
"...she might never fully recover," Mato said, almost choking on the words. "Dunno if you noticed. A couple of months ago. She..."
Kohachi tore her eyes away from the disappearing pistol, looking at Mato. "But... she's perfectly healthy?" She made it a question.
"Well, yes," Mato replied slowly. "Physically, she's fine. Perfect health, perfect weight, perfect teeth. Not a mark on her anywhere. But..."
She swallowed hard.
"I noticed she started actin' strange." Kohachi frowned, tilting her head slightly. "Wasn' like Underfoot at all. Almost like she was sleepwalking or something. She snapped out of it pretty soon. You're sayin' there's more'n that?"
"It's not a simple story. I should tell you the whole thing, but it'll take time. Can you listen, and not ask me questions until the end?"
Kohata nodded, squeezing Mato's hand reassuringly.
"Good," Mato said. She looked at Rock, who was nodding vigorously. "It started with Yuu. Over a decade ago, when she was in middle school..."
Kohata opened her mouth, and Mato held up her hand, cutting her off.
"I know," she said. "I'm getting there."
"Okay."
***
"So, then..." Kohata started. "Yuu was Saya's friend when Saya went to school. Things went badly, and she got– exiled to another world? Is that right?"
"That's part of it." Mato nodded. "I don't really understand how. Her and Strength had swapped places, so– the girl we always knew as 'Yuu', was–" She swallowed hard. Mato thought she'd gotten over this by now, but evidently not. "Strength became Yuu."
She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts. Her best friend was a ghost. Mato preferred not to think about that.
"She was my best friend, really. If it hadn't been for Yuu, I'd probably have died in that place." She smiled wryly. "I'd have killed myself. Instead, Rock and I, we figured each other out just in time. Yomi helped, and Kagari." She slung a hand around Yomi, who blushed furiously, but didn't draw away. Mato smiled a little at that.
"Anyway," she continued briskly. "Right at the end, Strength, she..." She swallowed again, and her hands clenched into fists. "She died. In the other world."
Kohachi stared at her intently.
"She sacrificed herself to save me," Mato finished. "Me, Rock 'n probably Yuu's as well, but she's not sure. Doesn't remember it very well. Anyway, they swapped places again, and..." Mato sighed heavily. "Yuu sorta saw her die, but she's her other half. She's... does it count as 'dead?' When Yuu remembers almost everything that Strength did? She's trying so hard to stay my friend. They're almost the same person. But they're different inside. I dunno how to explain it. Just, I..." Mato felt tears starting to prick at her eyes. She wiped them angrily away. "Just forget it."
She stood up, shaking her head. She didn't want to cry in front of Kohata.
"Yuu is more easily scared, isn't she?" Kohata asked. "I noticed. Underfoot used to roll over anyone who so much as hinted at tryin' to hurt you. She'd drag 'em into the locker room an' shout at 'em. Didn't matter how much bigger or stronger they were. She'd just dress 'em down until they behaved."
"She– what?" Mato spluttered. "No! She wouldn't!"
"She did." Kohachi grinned. "Was like 'Attack of the four foot badger.' I could've picked 'er up and dribbled 'er like a basketball, but where you were concerned, she'd do anything. I think you might've been bullied otherwise. I'd have put a stop to it, but– well, I didn't 'ave to. You've got a good friend in her, you know."
Mato opened her mouth to reply, then closed it again. She looked at Kohachi for a long time. Finally, she nodded. "Yeah. We got along great."
"You still do." Kohata looked thoughtful. "I dunno if you know, but you're all she was talkin' bout today. She's worried sick about you. Says you didn't call for the entire break."
"I couldn't..." Mato protested feebly, but she was starting to feel ill. A sharp pang twisted her insides, like her heart was twisting around inside her. "I'm sorry," she added quickly. "Really. I should've called."
Kohachi shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. "I'm not the one you should be apologisin' to, y'know. Why didn't you?"
She hadn't been able to face her. With all the little ways Yuu had changed, it was like talking to a stranger. Not all the time, not even most of the time, but every few minutes she'd say something that Strength just wouldn't have said. Something that was totally Yuu, and nothing like Strength, and that first day on vacation she had just... not called. Then, she'd not-answered her messages, barely admitting she was still alive. Pretty soon it had been too awkward to call.
She didn't say that. Mato knew it, but it was too painful to speak aloud.
"I dunno," she said weakly. "It's complicated."
"Sure it is." Kohachi nodded, but she seemed more troubled than before. "I don't understand any of this, but I can tell there's a lot more going on 'ere than you're tellin'. Well, you're here now. Let's go see her later, 'kay?"
Mato nodded mutely, while Rock glared daggers at the back of her head. Only Yomi didn't look surprised. Or disappointed. Mato supposed it would take worse than that to disappoint her.
When she thought of it like that, she almost wished Yomi would be angry at her.
"There's still the bit with Kagari," Yomi murmured. "I think we should tell her about that."
Mato looked up. "Are you sure? Isn't that kind of personal?"
Yomi looked back at her, then over to Kohachi. There were tears in her eyes. She was smiling a little, but there wasn't much humour to it.
"Honestly? Yes. We should ask Kagari, but I can't say I'm sure she'll cope with any heavy conversations yet. I'm tired of keeping secrets too. Maybe it's better if I tell someone. You know, Mato–" She spoke up here, so Kohachi could hear her. "– I always was a little jealous of the two of you. You befriend people so easily, and I don't trust anyone enough to do that."
"Jealous?" Mato frowned. "Why?"
"Because you don't try," Yomi said quietly. "You just... do. And I can hardly try. Not when Kagari was always there. Even though she was– how do I put this?– a friend of mine, she kept me from trying, because I knew what would happen. And I think I sort of forgot how. So, Kohachi–"
She stopped, twisting her hair around her finger.
"So, Arata-san," Yomi continued in a louder voice. "If you don't mind acquiring another needy, half-broken friend, I think I'd like to tell you everything. Just between us three, if it's all right. I'm sorry. It'll be another tale of woe."
ooOOoo
Name a definition of insanity. Any definition. Chances are Mato meets it.
You're going to see Yuu. That's not a question of if, it's a question of when; Kohachi is not taking no for an answer. So, let's ask ourselves when would be good, and consider what else we might do on this day, as well.
[Urgency][ ] Go find her immediately.
- Kohachi will make an excuse to pull her out of class. She's not especially bothered by the consequences; school doesn't seem important right now.
- This is doubling down on Mato being panicked and flailing, but also tells Yuu that she is really eager to make amends.
[Urgency][ ] During the next break is fine.
- You might possibly convince your teacher not to give you detention.
- The 'default' conversation pattern won't involve as much stuttering.
[Urgency][ ] After school.
- You could take her somewhere. Vote on where.
- [ ] A concert. There's a popular new idol holding a live today, and Yuu mentioned her before.
- [ ] The park. It's nice and quiet.
- [ ] Exploring the town. Who knows what you'll find?
- [ ] Your house. It's familiar. You'd propose Yuu's, but she lives with Saya.
[Urgency][ ] Write-in
- You might do something else, or combine the options given.
[Tactic][ ] Write-in
- Mato knows how to talk to Yuu, she thinks. She does not desire suggestions. You may nevertheless give her some.
- SV sometimes writes good plans.
- SV sometimes writes terrible plans.
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