- Pronouns
- He/Him
[X] Call the Stand Strong Society hotline. They run a tollfree chat for potential or current members, a live link for anyone in need. Anonymity sounds nice.
[X] Call the Stand Strong Society hotline. They run a tollfree chat for potential or current members, a live link for anyone in need. Anonymity sounds nice.
Anonymous chatting about the fact that our life just went to shit so hard there's stains on the ceiling might be best at the moment. No way Christoph's in any fit state to talk to Gahm, family, or god forbid an ex at the moment. And doing the practical thing and starting to make travel arrangements strikes me as too beep-boop-efficient.
Christopher's entire narrative has been that of someone who is pretty far on the depressive e nd of the spectrum.I think there's a kind of important point that some people are missing here. Namely Christoph came home and stared at a switched-off TV for an hour rather than react to losing his job and home at all. Those are the actions of a very depressed someone who is waiting for the tiniest chink in their armour to collapse and become completely useless. A phone call sounds like just that. And me, I'd prefer the inevitable "my life is irreparably fucked" meltdown to happen on an anonymous helpline than with a kinda-sorta work friend. Calling Gahm can happen later, when Christoph isn't made of glass and tears.
Part of you wants to do it. A gentle, fragile thing in the palm of your hand, part of you wants nothing more than to squeeze. To break it and grind it and crush it until it's mangled beyond all repair. And why shouldn't you? People like him and he seems to like you. But talking to him too long always gives you a headache, always drains you. You don't mind the quiet, you can deal with a little talk, but he's always, always, pushing you, teasing you. Treating you like you're his best buddy, his dearest friend when you're just part of his crowd. A semi-familiar face and really, that's all you want to be.
Would he even do the same for you? Protect you? Probably not. And really it barely even matters, because he isn't in this chair, melting away beneath the pressure. Pinned in place by the suits across the table. He isn't here, he doesn't have to feel the cracks running through his head. Feel them splitting and widening in his guts. Feel the butterflies beating their wings against his stomach, his throat, the red muscle of his heart.
You don't want this. You just want thing to be okay. You just want to hear that you did a fine job. That it wasn't your fault. That you've been doing good, been doing the best you could. That's all you want. That isn't so much right? That isn't so much to ask for is it?
Give them Gahm and get it. Roll over and spill your guts and-
That's a lot of pettiness...[//Petty Officer CHRISTOPH ESSER//
For: failure to respond to a CODE: BLACK scenario within an acceptable span;
For: petty misappropriation of EXECUTIVE expense funds;
For: petty misappropriation of CIVILIAN rest spaces;