Being reborn was neither pleasant or unpleasant, because for me, it never happened. In this world, the goddess - Rinnegami - said that there were those meant to live, and those whose purpose in life was to die. I was assigned to one of the latter, and her (my) position made inverse. Two hours after she had died, a child named Uzumaki Touren returned to life. I returned with her - as her.
By literal divine providence, a shinobi pulled me from the wreckage of a hospital in the shattered remnant of Uzushiogakure, and took me to another place, named Konohagakure no Sato, the village hidden in leaves. There, under the shadow of something that vaguely resembled a partially complete echo of Mount Rushmore, I spent my first years. Not in the care of a loving family; but in an orphanage, and glad for it. The caretaker was an interesting man. One night I found him writing ciphertext, and that was when we came to know each other.
"Mn," I said, "Hey Kazu-san," as I walked past to get a glass of water. Kazu twitched.
"Kaede-chan?" He said my Konoha-given name with an undercurrent of tension colouring his voice. I climbed up onto the counter top and got a glass down. "What are you doing up?"
If what he was writing had been a legitimate report, then there should have been no particular worry.
Hello, I thought.
"Evidently?" I said, scooting over to the tap, "Frightening you. Kiri or Iwa?" I asked, echoing the names of Konoha's prime enemies, without really caring how he answered.
"Excuse me?" Ah, there was the danger. The threat. The malice. The I-am-a-blade-to-your-throatness that marked killers apart.
"'m not with Konoha," I said as I poured myself a glass, and began drinking, holding it with both hands to counteract the weakness of my childish frame. "If I was, I wouldn't be so sloppy. Really, I'm just looking for one thing."
"And what's that?" Some of the danger had drained out of Kazu's voice.
"A peer. Someone to talk to. Humans are social creatures, but the other children are closer to animals than they are to you or me. Exposing the fact that I've deconstructed that you were a spy seemed like an optimal method." After all, he couldn't afford to report me to the authorities, and he wouldn't want to anyway - why strengthen your enemy?
Kazu scoffed. "Yeah, if getting killed was your goal!" Shaking his head in something that I guessed was bewilderment, he said,
"Fine. I'll accept you're not a Konoha plant, because this scenario makes even less sense if you aren't a random genius. I'm Fujioka Kazu, of Kiri, and now, I'm going to put a seal on you."
"You are going to try," I said, but walked over agreeably.
About thirty minutes later, and after a refreshing conversation about the current geopolitical situation that was by far more informative than what I had been able to attain in my first three years of experience, Kazu had finished his seal, and held his hand in a sign, mumbling
fuin. There was a brief sensation of heat and constraint, and then a sound like shattering glass. As Kazu gaped, I spoke calmly.
"I am currently under contract with a god," I said, "I was to die in Uzushio, but agreed to destroy a certain demon in return for my life. The agreement involved a seal on my soul. Needless to say, mortal sealcraft construed as mental interference will
not be tolerated."
Thank you, Shinigami, I thought. I hadn't been given much to work with, but without this one thing, anything could've just happened to me.
As this passed through my mind, Kazu just stared at me, his face locked in a moment of sheer incredulity that he would probably consider a disgrace. Then, without warning, he slumped. "Bloody fuck," he muttered, "Of course it would be a god, of
course you're a genius, and
of course you're from Uzushio. I bet your real surname is Uzumaki."
And just like that, something actually interesting appeared. Even after three years, I hadn't been able to learn much about the shape of the world. The people on the streets were as ignorant as peasants, and save for the moment I discovered him, Kazu had payed his role well. "Uzumaki?" I asked.
Kazu made a vague gesture. "Sealing clan. Ran Uzushio. Made a contract with Shinigami."
"Ah," I said, "I might be that. Not certain."
"It's likely," Kazu said, "You came out of Uzushiogakure." He sighed. "Worst thing about this situation is that I can't even extract you to Kiri. Fuckin' treehuggers watch the orphanages real close."
"Would Kiri help me achieve my mission better?" I asked. Of course, the answer was probably -
"Not really. But someone like you? A natural genius of your calibre? If you're not a leading general in Konoha's army in ten years... and I can't even kill you without pissing off a god. Wonderful. I need a drink. Do you want a drink?"
Given that the wavefunctions comprising my existence had nearly nothing to do with my brain anymore?
"Sure, why not?" I ignored his casual admission of thinking about killing me.
"Right," Kazu said, getting out of the chair and walking over to the kitchen. With an easy kind of grace that I had never seen in the man before, he got some sake out of the pantry, heated it, and served it. Without waiting for a toast, he knocked the first saucer of his drink back, and when he refilled, I raised my own saucer and said, "To... eternity."
Kazu glanced at me one eyebrow raised, and I flushed, embarrassed for no reason. I knocked back my own saucer, and relished the subtle burn of it as it trickled down my throat. As I placed my saucer back on the table, Kazu made to refill it but I waved him off. "Still a kid. That's probably more than enough to do me." Kazu shrugged, and partook of his third saucer much more slowly.
"So," he said as he finished, "A mission from a god, huh?"
I nodded, and lied. "Commissioned by Shinigami, enacted by Rinnegami. A certain shinobi invented an immortality technique that allows him to remember his past lives. This has had the effect of driving him utterly insane, and every time he reincarnates, there's a chance that the insanity propagates to uninvolved people. By not living one life, but all of them, he became a karmic demon, which they called a Samsara Breaker. If I kill him, instead of going through the normal process of rebirth, he will go directly to Shinigami, who will eat him, and my, but my inhibitions are lowered." I blinked, feigning surprise.. "I didn't expect it to hit me that quickly."
Kazu shrugged, indifferent to the entire bit about alcohol, then leant forward. "I'm going to give you some advice, Kaede."
"Shoot."
Kazu blinked.
"Shu... tou?" Had I said that in english? I had said that in english.
My inhibitions actually
were lowered. Huh.
"I mean, go ahead."
Kazu frowned, but said, "The way you were talking made it pretty clear that you either don't know who your target is, or that that target could have already changed if he died and was reborn. That about right?"
I nodded.
"Okay," Kazu said, standing up, and beginning to pace, "You have a few options. First, this target was a shinobi in one of his lives: he's not going to be destroyed by civilian means. You need to become a ninja. But what
type of ninja? Kiri is out, and you won't be allowed to leave the village until you're fourteen - too old to become an enemy shinobi - so you're going to have to become a Konoha-nin. At least nominally. Then, there are two branches: Standard and Elite. Standard is probably your best bet - there are lots of high-independence positions in the standard forces, but elites are the ones who get access to Konoha's
actual jutsu, and not the stuff that anyone knows. In return, it's harder, more lethal. Loss of Elite Genin had been Konoha's biggest problem for
decades."
"You know quite a bit," I said, the observation casual. The look I got in return contained a not insignificant amount of derision.
"I'm a
spy, Kaede-chan. Knowing is what I do."
I nodded, acknowledging the point. "Then, why are you helping me?"
Kazu huffed out an amused breath. "Well, at least you're as suspicious as you should be. I'm helping you because it helps a god. I don't buy into all that crap about '
sacred duties' or whatever, but I figure it can't hurt me to do my part. And anyway, it sounds like this, what did you call it? Karmic demon?"
I nodded, and Kazu continued, "It definitely sounds like a threat to Kiri, too. Unless I get orders otherwise, why wouldn't I help?"
That was... perfectly rational. I examined it again, looking for a trap, but found none. It made sense, and slowly, I nodded. "All right. I think I believe you. So. Shinobi. Gotta say, I was already considering it. Supernal abilities are one hell of a force multiplier. But I'm curious as to one thing, Kazu-san."
"Shuto." I did
not facepalm.
"You've told me why you're helping me. But... What's your endgame?"
Kazu blinked. Then, he burst out laughing.
"Gods and silence, you really
are a kid. You know that that question just invites a lie, right?" I shrugged.
"Sure, but if I were someone acting in opposition to
this village, I would aim to develop a good working relationship with an unexpected asset. Who knows? One day she might find Konoha not to her liking - and then what might happen?"
Instantly, Kazu's expression grew serious. "Are you offering to defect?"
I made a cutting gesture with my hand. "It's not defection if I was never loyal." I rose. "Well, think about it, anyway. My purpose in life was made clear to me from the beginning. I could use you, and depending on the future, I'm sure Kiri could use me. All I ask is a bit of support if the time comes."
After that, the conversation came to a close. Rather awkwardly, if I had to admit, but then, I had mostly forgotten what it meant to be human. This type of tit-for-tat was well within my abilities, but warmth and naturalness were things that I was going to have to
work for.
Fortunately, I hadn't forgotten how to play things close to the chest.
I needed Kazu far more than he would never need me - and far more than even I realised, because there was one last part to my encounter with the administrators of the world that wasn't included in the last piece of my narrative.
Uzushio Burning - Three Years Prior
"So tell me," I said, as we walked towards the ruins of a hospital, "In this instance of the world, did the wisteria lotus bloom?"
And I knew I had made a mistake. I knew, because the strange emotional silence that had been throughout the entirety of my conversation with the Shinigami came to an abrupt halt, and I had the sudden and absolute knowledge that the entirety of the world had turned its attention towards my death.
"
Care to repeat that?" It was phrased as a question, but delivered as a command.
If I wanted to live there was only one option.
"Did -" I managed to force out, as the world clamped its grip around my throat like a vice, "- they find Tenma Chakra?"
And the pressure was gone.
"No," Shinigami said, "They did not. Samsara Breaker, I must apologise, but I have to alter the terms of our deal. With that, you have shown you know too much -
far too much. I regret this, but if you want to live, I will have to seal your memories of this world." The god paused for a moment, then added, "All of them."
Unacceptable. "You might as well murder me and be done with it," I said, preparing for the same.
"...I might, would that your death laid on my paradigms. But this is not a quantum world, and I do not have the means. This is what I offer: Life without any memory of this world, and my seal on the completion of your task; Neither life nor death, but continuance in our world of Takamagahara, where your knowledge can do no harm. It would be comfortable. You would want for nothing - the world would respond to your every whim."
And that wasn't really a choice at all. Under my philosophy, Heaven and Hell were indistinguishable.
"If I leave the world," I proposed, "I will regain my memories."
The god stared at me for a long,
long time, considering. At last -
"Acceptable. It will be so."
I took a deep breath.
"Then," I said, holding out my hand, "You have yourself a deal."
The god reached out, and clasped it.
"
So be it."
At the time, I had no recollection of the agreement - those memories too, had been taken from me. All I knew, in the beginning, was that I knew nothing. And my hunger for knowing could have consumed worlds.
SNI
Lexicon
Tenma Chakra -
The Wisteria Lotus
A noncanon chakra type that, in another time, in another place, was used as the cornerstone of the civilisation that came before the advent of of the Sage and the Jyuubi. It violates the second law of thermodynamics. The civilisation that used it made a habit of casually rearranging the continents of Earth to suit the needs of the day. They had the technical capacity (though not the interest) to do the same to
Laniakea.
My SI was using it as a spotcheck to see if s/he fell into Canon Naruto, or one of his/her AUs. The answer was a bit unexpected - Canon events, apparently, but some AU laws of metaphysics.
Of course, Kaede can't remember this because, ah, oops?
Note to self:
DO NOT ASK GODS ABOUT HYPERWEAPONS.
Kaede's Immunity to Seals
I don't intend to write a power trip, so don't imagine that this is solely an advantage.