Rising Tide [KanColle AU]

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Hello all.

Almost a year back, I wrote a piece of fanfiction called Abyssal Collection. My...
Chapter 01 - 1: An Act Of Desperation

TranscientLurker

枪杆子里面出政权
Location
Void of Observation
Hello all.

Almost a year back, I wrote a piece of fanfiction called Abyssal Collection. My first ever fanfic, it was about me being inserted into the KanColle verse, as an Abyssal.

I stopped writing it around August, mainly because I felt that the poor quality of my early writing had dragged down the many ideas I had for it, even if I had spent so, so much time on it. However, good ideas will never go away, and hence I thought I would try again, give the potential of the story another shot.

So here we are. Enjoy.

==|Rising Tide|==
Summary:

In a fit of desperation, a group of Abyssals try to summon a warrior to save their home from destruction - but only ends up with a common, confused, self-loathing seventeen-year-old human, brought from a world where Abyssals and shipgirls do not exist.

Facing extinction, what will they all do?

==|==

SB: Mirror: Rising Tide [KanColle AU]

FFN Link: Rising Tide, a kantai collection fanfic | FanFiction

==|Chapter 01 - 1: An Act Of Desperation|==​

A figure stood at the top of a platform, observing the world below. In the middle of what seemed like a vast ocean, amidst an endless fog, her personal domain waited below her.

A large group of humanoid beings like her surrounded the platform she was on. Many of them had twisted bodies with deathly-pale skin, dressed in torn clothing, with twisted forms of armor and weaponry attached, bolted or merged with their bodies.

The lone figure herself was free of those embellishments, dressed in a fitting suit of white and black, holding a twisted staff and wearing a black cape that billowed out behind her in the wind - if not for the enormous and monstrous hat that was perched upon her head, with what could be called tentacles coming out its sides.

And yet...for what could be known as monsters, they weren't acting like so right now. Many of them spoke with hushed tones, whispering to each other with voices full of worry and fear. Some of them pushed desperately against their fellows, hoping to get a better look at the platform itself. Others simply looked around, their faces bearing masks of confusion.


The lone figure sweeped her eyes over her pitiful assembly. While she looked around at the sobering sight, two figures came up from behind. One of them was an older woman wearing a simple dress, while the other looked about the same age as her, except wearing a revealing outfit which covered her chest and hips, leaving an exposed midriff, and a long ponytail that extended to her legs.

"Rally, Juri." The figure addressed the both of them in turn. "Has everyone been gathered?"

"Yes, Commander." Rally answered, making a short bow. "I cannot feel anyone else in any where else."

"Good." The figure replied.

A few moments passed, and a round of giggling to come from the side.

The trio turned their heads around. At the centre of the platform, a strange altar was being completed - a square disk of metal acted as the base of the structure, with four metal pillars positioned at its corners. And surrounding it was a scattered mess of wires and various crude electrical devices.

Attending the 'altar' was three other individuals dressed in ragged white robes, light appearing between their hands as they placed enchantments and spells on parts of the structure. Meanwhile, a child-like female, wearing a hood of some sort and blessed with a tail twice as big as her, was doing a silly little wave, being the source of giggling that had attracted the others' attention.

One of the robed figures made an irritated glare in her direction, but she kept cheering and dancing.
Making a sigh, the 'commander' stepped in. "Siren. What exactly are you doing?"

The childlike figure spun around, facing her superior with a massive grin as her tail waved around in excitement. "Ah, Phoenix! I just tested my side of the summoning altar, and it works! Of course this deserves some sort of celebration!"

Behind Phoenix, Juri rolled her eyes, showing her exasperation with Siren. Meanwhile, Phoenix simply put on a stoic mask, and pushed on. "You might be excited, but please hold back your celebrations. The 'ceremony' has not started yet, and you are troubling the others."

Filled with excitement, Siren simply ignored her superior, and continued rambling without pause. "Why not? Look at what we are going to be accomplishing today - we are going to be bringing a powerful one of us to life, to give her magic beyond any other, and weapons powerful enough to decimates whole navies. With this union of science and magic, we should be cele-"

Before she continue on, Phoenix put her foot down. With the most threatening voice she could muster, she spoke, "Siren, keep quiet."

The overeager 'scientist's' mouth clamped shut mid-sentence, and she retreated back to her job.

A few moments passed, before the mocking laugh of an all too familiar voice came floating by. "Typical Gatherers...and as usual, you can't even control them."

Phoenix and her aides whirled around. Stepping onto the platform, her hair tied into two buns, wearing a malignant smile on her face and a well-tailored dress, the newcomer made no effort to conceal her distaste for Phoenix. "Then again, it should be expected out of a failure like you, no spine nor power to cull even the weakest of underlings."

"It's good to see that you bothered to make yourself present here, Beacon-Of-Pride-And-Power. I thought that you would stayed where you were, sulking because nobody agreed to your plan." To her credit, Phoenix stayed her ground, refusing to let the newcomer's barbs hurt her.

The people nearby turned their heads, observing the growing feud.

Beacon ignored her counterattack, and replied in kind. "Of course I would be here. These are my people that you are commanding, and it falls on me to make sure that you don't feed them any of the nonsense that you have in your useless little mind. "

Meanwhile, another figure walked up to the platform. This time, the newcomer looked like a clone of Juri, except with shorter hair and a flower in said hair. While she made no sound, she purposely tried to ignore Phoenix and her group.

Beacon smirked.

Phoenix made no sound, but a muscle in her face twitched, while she clenched her fist harder to prevent herself from losing control.

Sensing the danger, Rally stepped in between the two of them, raising a hand to calm the waters. "Enough. Are we going to perform this procedure, or are we going to continue getting embroiled in this petty dispute?"

With that, Phoenix forced herself to look away, looking at Siren and the hooded figures, who now stood facing her, their heads bowed.

"Is...is it finished?" She asked.

"It is done and ready, commander." One of the figures answered.

"Alright." The commander turned around, facing the assembled crowd. As she stepped in front of them, the continued murmuring among them fell, and they all looked at her with solemn faces.

Bracing herself, Phoenix took a deep breath. She then raised her voice as loud as she could, and cried out.

"Sisters! My friends! As you all know, a few weeks, the humans came to our waters, attacking our homes, destroying them and throwing them into the depths of the abyss! We sent our best warriors, our finest soldiers, and fought to keep them out!"

"As you all know, we lost. What we brought was not enough to stand up to their attacks, and most of them died. Others have fled, while some return to spread the dire warning and prepare for our oncoming doom."

"But, do not fear. Even if you wanted to run, to hide, from now on we will have no need to do so!" Phoenix extended her hand behind her, pointing at the altar behind her. "Thanks to the great minds that we have with us, we have completed a way to save us all - this machine will allow us to summon powerful warriors that will aid us against the humans, to protect us from the death and doom they bring."

"So all of you, brace yourselves, and await our salvation."

As she finished, she surveyed the faces of her people. Some had looks of doubts and skepticism, but slowly, yet surely, they turned to ones of hope and eagerness. Some of them began to talk in excitement, while others crouched on their knees and clasped their hands together, silent in prayer.

Watching hope slowly pour back in her people, Phoenix slowly but surely felt it fill her too. Reinvigorated, she turned to her attendees, and ordered, "Start it!"

Siren and the hooded figures obliged. Racing over, they began to draw power from themselves and the crude generators installed, and feed into the alter.

With a hum of power, the altar was filled with light, the devices and trinkets installed on it opening up and glowing as power was fed.

As the hooded figures carefully manipulated the flow of magic, a small black, light-less void appeared above the altar, its edges glowing.

As the process continued, the tear in the world slowly grew, as the four pylons on the platform lit up with energy. A stream of energy erupted from all four pylons, before forming and feeding a white ball hovering in the middle of the platform.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the four pylons exploded, expelling a violent wave of energy

With a shriek, two of the three hooded figures collapsed, clutching their heads in pain. The rest of the people on the people were too slow to avoid the energy wave, and they were struck down by the energy wave.

"No." Phoenix cried out, as the magic and energy ran out of control. The crude electronics around the altar were destroyed one by one as feedback violently flowed through them.

With no one to control it, the black void expanded further and further, sucking the massive amounts of ambient magic to fuel its expansion.

Phoenix stood up, and attempted to take control of the rapidly collapsing situation. Extending her hands, she attempted to control the flow of energy…but found no purchase.

Try as she might, nothing happened. All around her, the shouts and screams of terrified and startled people filled the air.

What is happening?!

The void grew even wider, and the flow of energy began to tug at her, pulling her towards the altar. She held on, but could feel herself getting drawn in harder...and harder.

Someone help! Please! She cried out, wishing for a miracle.

And a miracle came.

Out of a sudden, the violent flow of magic stabalised. The remaining energy was quickly sucked into the ball, and the void stopped growing, and began to shrink.

No longer being pulled, Phoenix collapsed onto her knees. The rest of the others finally found purchase on the ground, and slowly tried to pull themselves upright.

The void shrunk to a square, and after a moment, another yellow sphere emerged from it, and hovered above the larger white sphere.

As Phoenix watched, the two spheres formed into one, and a beam of light shot from it, up into the heavens.

After a while, as nothing else, Phoenix finally stood up, cautiously walking towards the altar.

Is it don-

The sphere exploded, and her world was engulfed in white radiant light.

==|Prologue End|==​
 
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Aw. I really wanted to see Magician progress through the shady world of Abyssal politics.

Still, more of Magician panicking over his new situation, then directing his new minions to create new tech and squeaking a narrow victory against OP shipgirls should be nice to read.
 
Is it just me, or is it a bit common for a protagonist to have a bad day before being thrown into another world?
 
Looks good so far. I hope he doesn't have too much angst going forward but overall good chapter
 
Ok, first contact, here we come.
More like fifty-fifty...if we want to extrapolate from anime, Re:Zero or Konosuba (I think) didn't have their protagonists have bad days. Same goes for my other fic, surprisingly
In Konosuba the MC died. I think that counts as a bad day. :V
 
Firstly, there is the simple matter that I spent more time with Magician. As a result, I can't help but feel more attached to him than to New Guy.

Secondly, it looks like this guy...*scrolls up*..."Daniel" is going to be retreading all the ground that Magician has already walked. And I was rather enjoying the tense politicking and worldbuilding regarding the Abyssals. As a result, I will always be slightly annoyed towards New Guy for being a symptom of the story being wound back to zero.

Thirdly, the section that depicts New Guy's home life. It feels like a waste of words. He has a mother that shouts at him and an annoying sister. Okay? I'm...not really feeling whatever it is you want me to feel. Sympathy, perhaps? I far preferred the original approach, in which the MC was simply thrown into a crazy world and we got to see how he responded. It was a far superior way to establish him as a character and make me, the reader, interested in him.

Fourthly, I just like the name. "Magician." It's a great statement of any SI's position - not Admiral Thrawn so much as the Wizard of Oz, using certain key knowledge and hastily remembered parlour tricks to stay afloat. New Guy's name just seems forgettable.

The one aspect of this reboot that is an improvement over the original is the Abyssal side. I actually got a little excited to see familiar faces such as Siren the mad scientist and Beacon-of-Pride-and-Power the arrogant douche. Seeing them interact before the summoning was fresh and pretty great.
 
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Firstly, there is the simple matter that I spent more time with Magician. As a result, I can't help but feel more attached to him than to New Guy.

Secondly, it looks like this guy...*scrolls up*..."Daniel" is going to be retreading all the ground that Magician has already walked. And I was rather enjoying the tense politicking and worldbuilding regarding the Abyssals. As a result, I will always be slightly annoyed towards New Guy for being a symptom of the story being wound back to zero.

Thirdly, the section that depicts New Guy's home life. It feels like a waste of words. He has a mother that shouts at him and an annoying sister. Okay? I'm...not really feeling whatever it is you want me to feel. Sympathy, perhaps? I far preferred the original approach, in which the MC was simply thrown into a crazy world and we got to see how he responded. It was a far superior way to establish him as a character and make me, the reader, interested in him.

Fourthly, I just like the name. "Magician." It's a great statement of any SI's position - not Admiral Thrawn so much as the Wizard of Oz, using certain key knowledge and hastily remembered parlour tricks to stay afloat. New Guy's name just seems forgettable.

The one aspect of this reboot that is an improvement over the original is the Abyssal side. I actually got a little excited to see familiar faces such as Siren the mad scientist and Beacon-of-Pride-and-Power the arrogant douche. Seeing them interact before the summoning was fresh and pretty great.
...[robot voice]your response has been noted, kind reader. As such, a rewrite of the first chapter shall commence this afternoon and will be ready by Thursday.

Have a pleasant day, Citizen.
[/robot voice]
 
...[robot voice]your response has been noted, kind reader. As such, a rewrite of the first chapter shall commence this afternoon and will be ready by Thursday.

Have a pleasant day, Citizen.
[/robot voice]
Hmm, there's something weird about this, I just can't point it out...:V
 
*shakes fist*

Just get to the bit with the monster/ship girl waifus already, damn it!
 
...It may be more interesting to start from the part where the protagonist wakes up surrounded by Abyssals.

His backstory could then be explored via the occasional flashbacks and references during the story.
 
Really, a classic technique of starting a story is starting it in medias res.
 
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