So: I can't decide on what bote to be. You guys get to choose now! ^_^

  • Warship 797 (Yamato Kai, but not A-150)

    Votes: 7 10.9%
  • USS Illinois (BB-65) (Iowa Class)

    Votes: 19 29.7%
  • G-15 Project (Taihou Kai)

    Votes: 7 10.9%
  • USS Reprisal (CV-35)

    Votes: 7 10.9%
  • CVB-44 (Planned Midway Class)

    Votes: 24 37.5%

  • Total voters
    64
  • Poll closed .
Chrysanthemum 1.01
Chrysanthemum 1.01




The sound of crickets greeted me as I woke up. Blearily recalling that Admiral Isoroku wanted to see me at 0500 hours, I glanced at the wall clock. 0100 hours.


Might as well go brush my teeth. It'll be good to do something routine again anyways. Stepping lightly across the tatami mats, I made my way towards the door, carefully opening it to ensure I wouldn't wake my sisters up.


I still can't believe I have a body again. After an entire year and a half of sensory deprivation, even just feeling the air on my skin feels amazing.


Arriving at the restroom, I took a moment to glance at the mirror, before stripping and stepping into the shower.


Everdistant

"Ahhh! It feels good to finally take a shower after so long without one~" I humm as I step out of the shower.


Checking each cabinet briefly, I frown. Not really feeling like eating anything here. Off to the cafeteria I guess, let's see what they have to eat… Stomach grumbling at the thought of food, I make my way towards the exit of the battleship dorms and run straight into another person.


"Ah, gomenasai! Are you alright?" I asked, offering the girl a hand. As she accepted my hand she asks,


"Suimasen! I'm alright. May I ask who you are?" Still slightly startled from our collision, I look in the direction the voice came from. A destroyer, maybe an Akatsuki-classif I remember my ship profiles correctly.


"I'm Warship 797, named Yoshino by my sisters. Who are you?" I respond, smiling at her.


"I'm Akatsuki, lead ship of the Akatsuki Class. Nice to meet you Yoshino san." She says, bowing deeply. I return her bow, bowing just as low as she had, startling the poor girl. "May I ask what you are doing up so late Yoshino-san? It's usually just the night shift that's up during these hours."


"I couldn't sleep Akatsuki-san. My summoning was… Odd to say the least. I'm still dealing with some of the repercussions of what happened. Sleep is unfortunately the last thing on my mind." I explain, before stopping to gaze at the moon.


The moon is rather beautiful tonight. And with everyone on wartime blackout, the light pollution isn't nearly as bad…


"I'm sorry to hear that Yoshino-san. Pardon me for asking, but would you like to join me for my lunch break? My sisters are currently off of the night watch, and it was going to be just me…" Akatsuki asked sheepishly.


"I don't really have anything better to do Akatsuki-san. I really wouldn't mind at all." I say, falling in step behind her. "What ships are on night watch this month Akatsuki-san?" I ask, attempting to make conversation. Akatsuki perks up, and starts to list the group of shipgirls assigned to night shift for the month of January.


"Since we generally don't have carriers on night watch, it's usually a battleship handling flagships duties during nights. This month, Kongou san has the flag for nights, with Kirishima being her second. For escorts, we have myself, Fubuki, Ayanami, Mutsuki, Yuudachi, Akizuki, Suzutsuki, Shigure, Sendai, Naka, Furutaka, and Aoba."


"So two battleships, two heavy cruisers, two light cruisers, and seven destroyers. Sounds like a nice fleet." I say, before frowning slightly. My captain had climbed up on top of my head and was ringing a bell. "Hold on for a moment Akatsuki-san. My crew is demanding my attention."


"Desu! Desu desu!" A feeling of dread crept up my spine,


"Akatsuki-san? Are there any inbound flights right now?" I ask, hoping to god that there would be a patrol of JASDF aircraft coming in for a landing.


"No Yoshino-san. Any reason why… You have radar contacts in the air, don't you?" Akatsuki says, horror creeping into her voice as she speaks.


Shit. I forget if I ever informed them that the Wo-Class and other Abyssal Carriers have gods be damned NIGHT CAPABILITIES


"I need the location and heading of those aircraft right now!" I yell at the captain, while grabbing Akatsuki's hand and pulling her towards the docks.


"Desu! Desu!"


"Akatsuki-san, we've got air contacts approaching from one hundred kilometers out! They're vectored towards the Tokyo area!" I snarl, already yelling at my crew to prepare for anti air combat. Akatsuki nods at me, and speaks through her radio


<All hands! Air Raid incoming! This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill! All personnel man your battlestations and set condition zebra!> Akatsuki shouts over both the PA and Emergency Radio. She also starts running towards the water, escaping my grip. "Yoshino-san, are you able to sortie?" She asks.


"Yes, I'll be able to do my part Akatsuki san. I'm at full load. I just wish Kentucky was here…" I say, glancing at the battleship dorms. I shake my head, and start running towards the docks as well.


Everdistant

Tokyo Bay Area, Japan

0210 Hours



Akatsuki and I both linked up with the other night watch shipgirls, and we deployed into the bay.


By then, both Kongou and Kirishima's radar had confirmed what I originally saw. Air raid incoming. The Tokyo area was in full alert, civilians were now streaming towards bomb shelters and (add something else here). Someone had woken Admiral Isoroku, and he had strategic control of the AO while Kongou had tactical. The Naval District's anti air batteries were fully manned, and now we waited for the JASDF's planes to make contact. They probably wouldn't be able to shoot many down, but they'd give us valuable information on the enemy's composition.


"Is the waiting always so bad Kongou-senpai?" I ask, my eyes still scanning the horizon.


"Yes. We're battleships. Our purpose is to fight, not wait around. You'll understand in a moment Yoshino chan." Kongou briefly glanced at me, "You do have sanshiki shells loaded, right?" I nod in confirmation, internally glancing at my radar display. The JASDF fighters were closing on the mass of blips that represented the abyssal forces. Moments later, the flight commander reports in over the comms.


"Contact! I count over one hundred enemy bombers, with at least fifty escorting fighters. My squadron will attempt to shoot down as many as we can, then shadow them to provide real time updates. No heroics from us tonight. My pilots can't reliably shoot them down, and boys on the ground've got plenty of guns for them." He says, rather bitterly at the end.


The blips on my radar mash together, presumably the JASDF jets blitzing the abyssal formation.


"Scratch five enemy bombers command. We're evading enemy fighters rather handily. We'll continue to provide live updates while we shadow them and wait for an opportunity. Over and Out."


"It's up to us now." Kongou says, glaring in the abyssals' general direction. "Kirishima, Yoshino. Prepare to fire a salvo of sanshiki as soon as they're in range. Hopefully we can shoot a significant portion of them down." Both Kirishima and I acknowledge the order, and I start to elevate my guns into position. "Kantia, diamond formation." Kongou orders. I send an acknowledgement with the rest of the fleet as we fall into formation.




Everdistant Dream

??? Minutes Later


"Targets in range of Anti Air, all batteries, open fire!"


"Kongou san, they're not at cruising altitude… This isn't an attack on Tokyo, it's a raid on shipping!" Someone screams.


"Firing!" Yells another shipgirl. The night sky lights up with tracers and flak explosions. Other shipgirls are issuing orders to each other, and the radio was going absolutely crazy. I wasn't really keeping track of all the reports and orders flowing through the channel, far too focused on my own problems. Thankfully, my crew was, and they screamed a warning towards me.


Wait, those are… dammit! They have torpedo bombers. They're after the moored ships!


"Maintain formation" Kongou yells, reminding us to be mindful of the other ships in the fleet.


The bombers begin to pick their targets, with a large amount heading towards me.


Shit. They're targeting me with a lot of their bombers. Thankfully I have a lot of AA here, but this is going to hurt. A lot.[/i]


At this point, the bombers started their dive, my 25mm guns firing lead into their path. The escorting destroyers and cruisers also opened up with their 25mm guns, desperately attempting to shoot down as many of the bombers as they could. The scene is like something directly out of a WWII documentary. The Fleet has lost any sense of cohesion, with everyone swerving and attempting to throw off the dive bombers aim. I throw myself into hard starboard turn, attempting to throw off the dive bombers attacking me, but I had reacted far too late. Pain lances through my arms and chest as the enemy bombs landed, cratering my deck and destroying a few of my 10cm guns.


"Ah!"


"Yoshino, watch out!" I woozily glance at the speaker. "Torpedo bombers, eight o-clock!"


"W-what?" It was far too late by then, as five torpedoes slam into my bulges, followed by an abyssal bomber crashing into my rear fire director.


"Yoshino! Are you okay?" Kentucky screamed over our mental link.


"I'm… fine…" I manage to think, glaring hatefully at the sky. "I'll be better… when I sink the damn carrier responsible for this!"


<Yoshino is on fire! She's been hit pretty badly!> Kongou yells over the radio, having taken no hits herself. Aoba's listing to port rather heavily, while Ayanami and Yuudachi were trying to beat flames off their sleeves, Fubuki and Shigure attempting helping them, only lightly injured themselves. Everyone else seems to be undamaged.


<Copy that Kongou.> Admiral Isoroku's voice crackled over the radio <Assess the damage and let me know who needs repairs. I'm sending Kentucky along with Carrier Division Five towards you. We're going to hunt down the carriers responsible for this attack, and we're going to sink them.>


<Have your fleet move in with Zuikaku's fleet. Zuikaku will have tactical command of the carrier fleet, while you have tactical over the forward element. Stay safe. Yoshino, I'll wait for your answer when you get back>


<Teikoku!?> Yamato's voice cuts across the radio channel.



<Yamato, I know you object to this, but your little sister has more anti air capability than you do. Unless she's in desperate need of repairs, I need her out there.>


My damage control teams begin to assess the combat damage, repairing what they can, and making note of what will need drydock time to repair. Two of my portside 10 cm DP guns are cratered, my bow has a crater in it that the damcon teams patch over with spare wood , and my rear fire control director can be somewhat repaired into working condition, thankfully. Periodically wincing in pain, I settle down to read a book that one of my crew members have handed to me.


Everdistant

Sometime Later


Zuikaku's fleet arrived after I had just gotten started on chapter four.


"Dammit Yoshino!" Kentucky shouted as she sailed over, "You had me so worried!" She pauses to fuss over me a bit. "Don't ever do that to me again, idiot." I immediately pull my little sister into a hug,


"I'm sorry Kentucky." Kentucky's arms tightened.


"I just don't want to lose you too, not like we lost dad… Kentucky "speaks" over our link, "please, don't leave me alone…"


"You know that I can't promise that Kentucky… But I swear that I won't let you go without a fight."
I reply, patting my little sister on the back.


Chapter End
 
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Spacing has been fixed! If you could either post what you think needs polished, or PM me with the details, it would be appreciated.
... damnit. I should really be going to sleep.... fuck it. give me a bit to get my computer turned on so I can actually work on this properly. But I can't promise to make this a regular thing.

One thing right off the bat that I can do from my phone now. If you changed POV's between scenes (I honestly can't figure out if you did or not) then at the start of each scene you need to give the relevant POV along with the location. If you didn't then I need to figure out why I keep getting that impression. Which is going to be a headache I probably won't have time for tonight. I'll see what I can do.
 
I both liked it and don't like it. On it's own it stands somewhat decently. But the prologue doesn't feel as connected to it. Also the explanation to the Admiral felt cheap. I wish I could describe it better but that's what's coming to mind.
 
I both liked it and don't like it. On it's own it stands somewhat decently. But the prologue doesn't feel as connected to it. Also the explanation to the Admiral felt cheap. I wish I could describe it better but that's what's coming to mind.
The "true" exposition segment will come with 1.02. I did mention that they were reconvening in the morning. To be honest, the prelude is a proof of concept, and is likely going to be moved from a threadmark to either sidestory or apcophra today. Thanks for providing your opinion!
 
Just came across this. So far it looks pretty good, with an intriguing premise. But I'll only be able to truly judge it once you have a few chapters posted in my opinion. But it's been a good start.

The fact that you've said that next chapter will include the actual 'resolving WTF just happened'discussion does negate my only really concern with the current chapter. And also makes sense because it gives them time to investigate what's been said and work it out in their heads.

The fact the two of you seem to still have that telepathic link is going to be something that the good guys are going to absolutely love. Depending on its range, speed and ability to be jammed by the Abyssal of course. Also lol at gaining 7 sisters, and actually having you two now-sisters both embodied. That's going to be interesting to see play out...

Oh, and a possible error. You've said that both ROBs are Omniscient beings... Did you Omnipotent? Because that means unlimited power and able to do anything. Whereas omniscient is 'knows everything'... Which would rather ruin the entertainment factor/fact they weren't stopped before committing their crimes.
 
Oh, and a possible error. You've said that both ROBs are Omniscient beings... Did you Omnipotent? Because that means unlimited power and able to do anything. Whereas omniscient is 'knows everything'... Which would rather ruin the entertainment factor/fact they weren't stopped before committing their crimes.
Thank you very much for pointing out a rather major error! Yeah, I meant to say Omnipotent.

Also, after I finish that dratted Isoroku interlude on my other fic, I'll be updating this one. Sorry for the long wait, muse chan decided not to cooperate today while I was trying to write.

Edit: Error fixed!
 
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Right, time to rewrite it, a lot. I had wondered if it was choppy as all heck. Thank you for the response!

Edit: I just looked over the whole thing, and very nearly facepalmed. I'm guessing people haven't clued into the fact that imperfect narration is a thing? I'm not dropping an entire 1k words were I tell you why the SI and P. Self are doing what they're doing. You'll figure out why they do certain things as a you learn the character more.
Well I get the gist of what's happening, but in this chapter it seems less imperfect narrator and more disorganized. He (or rather she) is isekai'd from another timeline. Aside from that I really don't understand what's happening. What's this mindlink thing going on? What kind of ship is she even? The events aren't clear at all. But that's really the only problem I can see here, with that one chapter.
 
Updated Chrysanthemum 1.01, because even I found it painful to read.
BB code for formatting is now fixed as well
 
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Notice!
I will be massively reworking this thread over this week. The intended 1.02 will be the new 1.01, and 1.01 and Sidestory the first will be Deleted and moved to my Google docs for posting in segments. This is being done to ensure a better reading experience for all of those involved, and because I am dissatisfied with the current chapter 1. Thank you for understanding!
 
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