Portal Man: A Rational Quest (Original)

[Kiba]

Chapter 2.1: Baby Steps​

It was something out of a science fiction story. Or was it fantasy? It didn't really matter. This shouldn't be happening to him.

A door size portal appeared out of nowhere next to his desk, while he was programming.

The portal shone with sunlight from a textbook definition of a cornstalk field. The stalks reached heights taller than any man on Earth, full of grains ready to be harvested. It could be any cornfield in North America, if not the world. There were some darkness, but the sunlight filtering through was enough to illuminate an even darker bedroom.

The programmer stared at the portal for a good thirty minutes, trying to discern what in the world he was seeing.

"Interesting!" he finally exclaimed. "I must have read too much portal fantasy. Maybe I am hallucinating."

Was it a portal? He wasn't quite sure. It could be a window into another universe? Maybe it was a wormhole, a shortcut to somebody's farm thousand of miles away. Or maybe it was all these things.

Nonetheless, he fired up his email client, and wrote a letter about a new view/portal/wormhole thing to his friend and family, timed to be sent a few days from now, with a warning that he is probably insane. After all, what he was observing can't possibly be real, but yet he couldn't deny it. A copy was sent to his own email's account. But before he did all of that, he made sure to attach a picture that he took with his webcam as visual proof.

"Huh, the hallucination must be very persistent," he mumbled to himself. "I am seeing it on my monitor as well. Very consistent and convincing."

Next, he took a broomstick, poking from the side of the portal. Then he poked from the back of the portal.

"Observation number one: The back of the portal was completely black, almost as if it was completely two dimensional. There's a solidity to it no matter how hard I pushed. I also tried to poke to the side, but it seemed that I am sliding on one side or another of the portal rather than hitting anything, even though there's a very thin black line to target."

Then he threw a crumbled paper through the portal, causing a ripple.

"Observation two: Hey it's a portal! I think? I threw a paper ball and it landed inside the field of vision I am seeing. I wonder if I can get something back here?"

For his next task, he fashioned a steel hangar into a hook and tied it to the end of a broomstick. He also took off the soft fibers used for cleaning. Then he experimentally grabbed one of the cornstalk and pulled it in.

The plant bent through the portal horizon and into the programmer's bedroom.

"Whoa! This is so cool!"

Finally, he shone a light, illuminating the shadows.

"OK, I guess if you can transport things both way, light can go both way. I wonder why I don't feel any winds though?"

The computer programmer wrote his observations down in a plain text file on his computer, which was then promptly backed up into the cloud.

---

What will he do now?

 

[redzonejoe]

[] Call up a particularly trusted friend or relative; somebody who'd be willing to keep quiet if asked to, somebody who'd leap into a crazy sci-fi portal to help if necessary
-[] have this friend stand in the relative safety of our known reality, and film us as we do various experiments
--[] But first have the friend confirm whether or not it's really a delusion.

Thinking they can call the authorities if we get in trouble, or come in and save us if this ends up being a cool adventure, or at the very least they can tell us if we're crazy. Also it'd be nice to have somebody around to interact with, I guess.

 

[Muer'ci]

The programmer stared at the portal for a good thirty minutes

Click to shrink...

Very patient of him. I'd have started poking it ten minutes in, at best.

which was then promptly backed up into the cloud.

Click to shrink...

Very prudent, nice.

Calling in a friend as step two works, I guess.

I wonder if we can throw a mirror in and then use another one angled in a way that would let us see more of what's on the other side without sticking our head in.

 

[Kiba]

[] Call up a particularly trusted friend or relative; somebody who'd be willing to keep quiet if asked to, somebody who'd leap into a crazy sci-fi portal to help if necessary
-[] have this friend stand in the relative safety of our known reality, and film us as we do various experiments
--[] But first have the friend confirm whether or not it's really a delusion.

Thinking they can call the authorities if we get in trouble, or come in and save us if this ends up being a cool adventure, or at the very least they can tell us if we're crazy. Also it'd be nice to have somebody around to interact with, I guess.

Click to shrink...

Name your plan please.

If this is all I got, then it's going to be a very short update.

Very patient of him. I'd have started poking it ten minutes in, at best.

Click to shrink...

Let me know if you think if I am modeling the human mind unrealistically.

Very prudent, nice.

Calling in a friend as step two works, I guess.

I wonder if we can throw a mirror in and then use another one angled in a way that would let us see more of what's on the other side without sticking our head in.

Click to shrink...

You are free to use any resources at your disposal as befitting of a computer programmer in twenty sixteen.

 

[redzonejoe]

Name your plan please.

If this is all I got, then it's going to be a very short update.

Click to shrink...

Ah, wasn't meant to be a plan, that's why I didn't x the boxes. Just tossing out some ideas for others to scrap and use in their own plans.

You are free to use any resources at your disposal as befitting of a computer programmer in twenty sixteen.

Click to shrink...

Hmm.

[] Go on 4chan and shitpost about how the illuminati are using portals into the future to abduct people who are too close to discovering the truth.
-[] Because giant cornstalks? Obviously GMOs bred to feed the rapidly growing human population. Or Giants. Either way, FUTURE!!!!


Sorry, I find myself unable to take things too seriously. I hope somebody makes an actual plan soon, or you guys will be stuck going with my retardation.

 

[schlega]

[X] Action Plan: Abandon Universe
After 2016, jumping into an unknown portal seems worth it. At least it should take us somewhere that will never say President Trump. Hopefully it closes behind us.
Edit: Gather some survival equipment first. If we don't have any on hand, take a shopping trip.

 

[Kiba]

[X] Action Plan: Abandon Universe
After 2016, jumping into an unknown portal seems worth it. At least it should take us somewhere that will never say President Trump. Hopefully it closes behind us.

Click to shrink...

I will really write this if this plan wins.

The deadline is Monday 12:00 AM sharp.

 

[schlega]

I will really write this if this plan wins.

The deadline is Monday 12:00 AM sharp.

Click to shrink...

I just realized I was assuming the protagonist was American. I would rather read a story about recklessly jumping through the portal than a story about building Stargate Command and putting Donald Trump in charge. If we're Canadian or something else sane, I'll cancel my vote and hope for a more well thought out proposal.

 

[Kiba]

I just realized I was assuming the protagonist was American. I would rather read a story about recklessly jumping through the portal than a story about building Stargate Command and putting Donald Trump in charge. If we're Canadian or something else sane, I'll cancel my vote and hope for a more well thought out proposal.

Click to shrink...

If you want to play that direction. Feel free. Note that I already have a tentative plot and storyline.

Also, I updated the characterization to "skeptical" for our unnamed protagonist.

 

[faflec]

[X] Action Plan: Talk To A Professor
We need to survive, figure out who we are, and contact the local authorities of the impending biological shitstorm caused by a spontaneous interdimensional portal containing god-knows how many pathogens.

Goals:

1. Survive.
2. Grab our stuff.
3. Contact the local government authorities.
4. Follow their orders.

Methods:

1. Survive.
   1. Do not, under any circumstances, go through the portal. RUN THE FUCK AWAY IF THE PORTAL SO MUCH AS FLICKERS.
   2. Remove ourselves from the premises after completing other steps.
   3. Ensure that other people (people being defined as sentient beings) are removed from the premises.
2. Grab our stuff.
   1. Make sure we have our clothes on. Put them on if we don't have them on. Do not put on a green jumpsuit.
   2. Locate our wallet, purse, or other container used to hold money and forms of identification. Take it with us.
   3. Locate our car keys, bus pass, or other method used to secure transportation. Take it with us.
   4. Locate our cell phone, iPhone, Android, or other communication device. Take it with us.
3. Contact the local government authorities.
   1. Since we have internet access we can find the phone number of the CDC, or whatever fast-acting government response is available in our current location.
   2. Contact said government authority and inform them of a bioterrorism threat in –our location–, and request their assistance.
4. Follow their orders.
   1. Should be pretty self-explanatory.
   2. Don't kill ourselves, though.

 

[Jello_Raptor]

[x] Action Plan: Science the Shit Out of This

• Don't wear a green jumpsuit
• Be a canadian
• Set up a video camera to record the portal continuously.
  • All video should be sent to an offsite backup, with a link in a follow up dead-drop email.
  • Use a video summarization engine to keep track of anomalous events and generate a summary of the past 24 hours for us to look at every so often.
    • If a convenient tool isn't available, use a motion sensor.
  • Set up text/email alerts to be sent to us whenever anomalous events occour.
  • Set up multiple cameras similarly if needed to keep everything in view.
  • Also do this with a nightvision / UV cameras if possible.
• Go shopping;
  • Get Amazon Prime.
  • Get two pet mice, and pet birds.
  • Get cages and food for each.
  • Get a bunch of pvc pipe
  • Get UV and IR cameras.
  • Get some retroreflectors
  • Get some lasers with a range of wavelengths.
  • get some diffraction grating.
  • Get a quadcopter w/ remote control and a camera
  • Get some air quality testing kits.
  • Get some soil sample testing kits.
  • Get some sterile bottles suitable for genetic testing.
  • Get a better door/lock
  • Get sealant/etc.. to make the door as airtight as possible.
  • Get some geiger counters.
  • Get some Rubber/silicone spray sealant.
  • Get a Barometer.
  • Get a gps locator.
  • A device with a saved copy of wikipedia + some science/industry textbooks (easier to reinvent the wheel if necessary)
  • A device that can solar charge or mechanically charge (pump) electronic devices
  • A watch that will last a very long time (don't know enough about watches -> one of the ones that charges via movement, perhaps?)
  • A small weapon of some sort (solid knife/dagger/etc.?)
• Be the edgelord you want to be
  • Test whether the edge of portal is as sharp as it looks
  • Both the inner and outer edge
  • With materials of various strengths : paper, wood, steel, bread, etc..
    • If it cuts bread talk awkwardly to yourself about how this is "the best thing since sliced bread".
  • If it doesn't simply cut rope, tie up the portal with rope and try to drag it a small distance.
• Operation Bird and Mouse
  • Set up the bird cage and mouse hovel so that you can feed them and clean the cages from a distance
  • Use the PVC pipe to send food
  • Use hooks to remove debris, send water through the pvc pipe to wash the case.
  • Get some confirmation that other entities can perceive/interact with the portal, placing the cages partially inside the portal and making the animals cross on their own, (maybe place the cage on an expendable stool with food on the portal end)
  • Put one bird/mouse pair on the other side of the portal, keep one pair on our side.
  • Make sure both sets of cages are visible on the video camera.
  • Use the same cleaning/feeding techniques for both.
• Stranger Danger
  • Move everything out of the portal room except for the cameras, and testing equipment.
  • Board up that window from the outside, to make it harder for things to leave.
  • Set up the door lock so it locks from the outside.
  • Never lock the door when you're inside the room
  • Always lock the door when you're outside the room.
  • Make sure the room is as airtight as possible when the door is closed.
  • Spray a layer of silicone/rubber over all of the walls/window/door/floor if you have to.
• Reality convergence 101
  • Use the GPS locator to see if the other side is just a different location on our earth.
  • Take photos of the portal and other world with both the UV and IR cameras.
  • Scout around a bit with the quadcopter
  • Toss some retroreflectors into the other world, bounce lasers off of them and use the diffraction grating check whether their wavelengths change or other strange effects exist.
  • Use hooks and pipe and stuff to gather samples of their soil and plant matter.
    • Send those samples to a genetic testing lab to be identified.
  • Put a barometer on both sides of the portal so that both are in view of the video camera.
  • Test the air on the other side of the portal, in the portal room, and outside with the air testing kits. See what the differences are.
  • Gather and test soil samples from the other side and outside your home. Compare and contrast.
  • Place a geiger counter in view of the video camera you set up. Place one elsewhere in your house and one outside your home for comparison.
• If anything at all dangerous happens then end the update.
  • This includes life threatening readings from any of our sensors, the deaths of the test animals, a tiger showing up on the other side of the portal, death robots, nazis, malevolent cheese wheels, etc...

 

[Kiba]

[x] Action Plan: Science the Shit Out of This

Click to shrink...

Your formatting is a little broken. Please organize it into logical sections for QM convenience.

Thank you.

Additionally, this require a lot more research than other plans. So, update will likely be delayed more than usual.

 

[Jello_Raptor]

Your formatting is a little broken. Please organize it into logical sections for QM convenience.

Thank you.

Click to shrink...

Just did.

 

[Cariyaga]

I'm not sure which of these plans I'd rather vote for. On the one hand, @faflec 's plan has an item for not wearing a youth suit. On the other hand, science.

e: And on the other other hand, if we go with faflec's plan we get to find out how Obama and, later, Trump deal with a portal.

 

[Jello_Raptor]

I'm not sure which of these plans I'd rather vote for. On the one hand, @faflec 's plan has an item for not wearing a youth suit. On the other hand, science.

Click to shrink...

In the real world, I'd go with @faflec's plan after setting up a webcam or something.

It's a lot more reasonable given all the risks involved. My main issue with it is that our house will be eminent domained by the government and we'd be just another bystander to interesting things. Our location as the owner of the house gets us nothing.

My plan is higher risk, but also means we have a much lower chance of losing control of the situation before interesting things happen.

Edit: We can also just segue into Faflec's plan if we survive the tests.

 

[schlega]

In the real world, I'd go with @faflec's plan after setting up a webcam or something.

It's a lot more reasonable given all the risks involved. My main issue with it is that our house will be eminent domained by the government and we'd be just another bystander to interesting things. Our location as the owner of the house gets us nothing.

My plan is higher risk, but also means we have a much lower chance of losing control of the situation before interesting things happen.

Click to shrink...

Add "Be Canadian" to the plan and you'll have my vote.

 

[Jello_Raptor]

On the one hand, @faflec 's plan has an item for not wearing a youth suit

Click to shrink...

Mine now has anti-jumpsuit features as well.

Add "Be Canadian" to the plan and you'll have my vote.

Click to shrink...

Done. Subject to change if more people want to see Obama/Trump deal with this bullshit instead of Mr.CutePants Harper.

Edit: Also added a note to "Get Amazon Prime" because there's no way that won't be really helpful at some point.

 

[schlega]

[x] Action Plan: Science the Shit Out of This

[-] Action Plan: Abandon Universe

 

[Kiba]

Add "Be Canadian" to the plan and you'll have my vote.

Click to shrink...

I am unsure if I can model a Canadian accurately. I supposed they don't differ all that much from an American? If the Canadian government gets involved, I suppose I'll have to ask a Canadian.

Also, I won't model the protagonist who isn't a close cultural match to me(I am American).

My plan is higher risk, but also means we have a much lower chance of losing control of the situation before interesting things happen.

Edit: We can also just segue into Faflec's plan if we survive the tests.

Click to shrink...

Your vote, your choice, but don't be surprised if the world didn't act the way you want.

 

[Cariyaga]

[x] Action Plan: Science the Shit Out of This

Alright, I'm sold. Sorry faflec, science beckons.

 

[Jello_Raptor]

Point of note, my plan will now trigger faflec's more sensible plan the second dangerous shit happens.

Edit: also we're canadian, but living in the US in order to make research easier on the QM.

 

[schlega]

Point of note, my plan will now trigger faflec's more sensible plan the second dangerous shit happens.

Edit: also we're canadian, but living in the US in order to make research easier on the QM.

Click to shrink...

Can we be Americans living in Canada? The point is to avoid putting President Trump in charge of the portal.

 

[faflec]

@Kiba You should kill us if we're being stupid. Like, at least make whatever important person we first meet comment on how stupid it is for us to fuck around with interdimensional gateways like this.

 

[Jello_Raptor]

Can we be Americans living in Canada? The point is to avoid putting President Trump in charge of the portal.

Click to shrink...

Fair enough, changed back.

@Kiba You should kill us if we're being stupid. Like, at least make whatever important person we first meet comment on how stupid it is for us to fuck around with interdimensional gateways like this.

Click to shrink...

Yup, my plan is more doylist than watsonian. My threshold for risk would be a lot lower in the real world.

 

[Kiba]

@Kiba You should kill us if we're being stupid. Like, at least make whatever important person we first meet comment on how stupid it is for us to fuck around with interdimensional gateways like this.

Click to shrink...

I will end this quest if the situation calls for the avatar to die.

If it seems that there's one hundred percent certainty he will die, he will die. For example, somebody launched nukes and the avatar happens to be in the city targeted by ICBMs....I will just kill the character.

Otherwise, I will roll dice against a target difficulty depending on various factors, OR/AND against the skill level of opponents versus your.