Outside Context Power; AKA Thunderstruck (GOTs SI) (ENDED)

[Scholar of Time]

THE END… MAYBE.

-

Click to shrink...

I don't usually commentate on a story that's interiorly well-written in a overly-hamhanded way.

This sucked. This was a....I can't even say that this was a cop-out, because you legitimately tried to 'end' the story by undoing the story, but it's...it's reflective of a lack of commitment to the base material. Yes, that means your ending was accurate and from a certain point of view, well-written - your ROB persona would have been of a mind to erase its 'failure'.

I suppose I disagree with you on a more personal, more philosophical basis - the power ramp shown here occurs in many different pieces of fiction, including some of the world's greater works. Gilgamesh comes to mind as the original example, but we can also go for more modern works such as One-Punch Man, Jumper, Watchmen - stories where the character either starts off intrinsically beyond-powerful or becomes that way compared to their surroundings. Jumper is a very good example - he starts off with a power that allows him to grow past his abuse, and then the fact that he has this power becomes the burden that eventually runs and ruins his life. There is no benefit to great power which is not eventually mitigated by life - your character's abilities, for example? He has massive abilities, and the ability to confer abilities - but how long will those abilities last? Your side protagonists could have been in the midst of using their abilities to save a child or defend against an innocent misunderstanding, causing them to crush innocents as their elemental powers failed, leading to angst and drama - similarly, your lead protagonist could have discovered that his powers began to fail for...well, pick a reason, a lack of some elemental charging that could only be found...xyz place. If your characters displease you, you don't erase their existence and give them the death of personality - you put more obstacles in their way and challenge them.

You don't kill a hero - you wear him out like a grindstone on a sword, until he's nothing but an old man with faded memories and a sad heart....and then you trot him out to feed the next hero's story.

I disagree with this on a personal level, but I wish you luck in future endeavors.

 

[Mr. Cloak]

I don't usually commentate on a story that's interiorly well-written in a overly-hamhanded way.

This sucked. This was a....I can't even say that this was a cop-out, because you legitimately tried to 'end' the story by undoing the story, but it's...it's reflective of a lack of commitment to the base material. Yes, that means your ending was accurate and from a certain point of view, well-written - your ROB persona would have been of a mind to erase its 'failure'.

I suppose I disagree with you on a more personal, more philosophical basis - the power ramp shown here occurs in many different pieces of fiction, including some of the world's greater works. Gilgamesh comes to mind as the original example, but we can also go for more modern works such as One-Punch Man, Jumper, Watchmen - stories where the character either starts off intrinsically beyond-powerful or becomes that way compared to their surroundings. Jumper is a very good example - he starts off with a power that allows him to grow past his abuse, and then the fact that he has this power becomes the burden that eventually runs and ruins his life. There is no benefit to great power which is not eventually mitigated by life - your character's abilities, for example? He has massive abilities, and the ability to confer abilities - but how long will those abilities last? Your side protagonists could have been in the midst of using their abilities to save a child or defend against an innocent misunderstanding, causing them to crush innocents as their elemental powers failed, leading to angst and drama - similarly, your lead protagonist could have discovered that his powers began to fail for...well, pick a reason, a lack of some elemental charging that could only be found...xyz place. If your characters displease you, you don't erase their existence and give them the death of personality - you put more obstacles in their way and challenge them.

You don't kill a hero - you wear him out like a grindstone on a sword, until he's nothing but an old man with faded memories and a sad heart....and then you trot him out to feed the next hero's story.

I disagree with this on a personal level, but I wish you luck in future endeavors.

Click to shrink...

Personally, I agree- but I also HATE it when a story just stopped without an ending. This is an ending- not a happy one, but one that could happen in a world with a multitude of ROB's fiddling around with whatever happens on a whim.

At least the end came with an explenation here, and there is a peice of continuity... And thanks for not getting angry.

All of these stories are a not-insignificant time comittment, and while I have no social life (I have the sort of personality and appearance that people forget after a few weeks after meeting me in person, two months for any 'friends' I make, and three months for a girlfriend- assuming they can remember me beyond s first date), my job is most of my waking hours, and I have an hour to two every day to do non-work stuff... And even then, work usually takes up half of my 'free' time.
Every thousand words takes at least three hours.
So yeah.... A lot of time.

Thanks for understanding.

 

[Arimai]

@Mr. Cloak WTF!? Pity about the lack of time but ending the story this way sigh. . . Oh well.

 

[Mr. Cloak]

@Mr. Cloak WTF!? Pity about the lack of time but ending the story this way sigh. . . Oh well.

Click to shrink...

I couldn't keep everything straight for this story, I didn't have enough time to reread all my own work, I didn't take enough notes, and I couldn't decide how this story was going to go.

So the universe was unraveled and reset. I may return to this idea, with a different premise or power set, but not this.
I'm actually working on my methodology with the Broadcaster Quest, so... There you can see my improvement and the current method.

I wish I could have continued this, but I had, as you could say, lost the plot.... But I also hate leaving cliffhangers, so I ended it.

It is better to have a story with an ending than one that can never finish.

 

[DrDoofenshmirtz]

This is one of the worst endings ever written.

Just a bunch of nonsense mixed with enough terms like "ROB" and "writter" and "made mistake" to make it have some hidden meaning.. or at least make it look like that. Overall, I wish I never read this chapter.

Erasing your work is the worst thing an author could ever do.

You literally mentioned the multiverse theory, and then crapped all over the one world you made as if there is reasony why the omnipotent you couldn't just start on a new world and not erase things.

I'm so not ever going to read anything you ever write again.

 

[Mr. Cloak]

This is one of the worst endings ever written.

Just a bunch of nonsense mixed with enough terms like "ROB" and "writter" and "made mistake" to make it have some hidden meaning.. or at least make it look like that. Overall, I wish I never read this chapter.

Erasing your work is the worst thing an author could ever do.

You literally mentioned the multiverse theory, and then crapped all over the one world you made as if there is reasony why the omnipotent you couldn't just start on a new world and not erase things.

I'm so not ever going to read anything you ever write again.

Click to shrink...

Goodbye then

 

[Heavy READER]

I liked the way you ended it. You left yourself almost thousands of options for your character. The ROB didn't say what world he would be sent to so. You can write what ever you want. If you want to start over you can do it. A writers best friend and enemy is options. I look forward to reading your works.

 

[Hunter128]

Sorry to see this go, though I do understand why you needed to do it. Especially since it is what inspired me to start working on that revamped Infamous Jumpchain document... that has also languished unfinished for some time. Good luck with the quest.