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Origin of Ego (Honkai Impact 3rd SI)
- Thread starter Snowfire
- Start date
- Mature
Interlude - Hua
Snowfire
Polyglot of Chimera
- Location
- Wordcats
The fire crackled in the suddenly very empty seeming living room as the front door swung closed with a solid-sounding thunk. It wasn't the sort of room either were used to, full of the signs of cheerful decoration and childish existence. An unfamiliar environment for both of them, perhaps good tidings for an unfamiliar conversation. Hua had never once lied to her pupil, but she was far too self-aware not to recognise that she'd also rarely told Lixue the entire truth. It had been part of the relationship between them then, an expected necessity of their unique bond of master and student.
When she'd taken Lixue in as an orphan, she'd believed that bringing her into her home would provide some much needed stability to the sorrowful child after being left alone in the world. She'd trained her, like she'd trained so very few since her catastrophic battle atop Mount Taixuan. Given her purpose, the skills to protect it, and the wisdom to choose her own in time.
She knew that she hadn't been wrong to train the young girl. She'd been right to bring her into home, and to raise her as if she were her own, but therein lay the greatest part of her mistake: she'd never taken that last step. Hua turned her eyes away from the dancing flames to the woman she'd raised. Lixue simply stared into the fire, her lips level, breathing steady, but Hua had taught her those techniques. She could recognise when someone was separating themselves from a situation, and when they were about to come apart at the seams.
"I would imagine you have questions," Hua offered. It wasn't anything close to perfect, but speaking had never been a strength in any of her lives. Phoenix and Empyrea had protected and taught, but she'd left the ruling to others. Perhaps that had been how she'd so deeply lost track of things, before it had all broken. And why could she remember all of that, anyway?
"A few more pressing," Lixue replied, her voice very quiet. She still didn't move her eyes from the fire. "You were talking with her, with Elysia, like you knew her. Is that, is that actually true?"
"It is." Hua nodded. Even an hour before, that would have been the end of it. But here and now was somewhen different. "She was, she is, a friend older than the world you know. We fought side by side, in humanity's first war against the Honkai. A war that ended with the death of the Previous Era."
There was a sharp intake of breath, breaking the steady pattern her student had been keeping. The far, far, younger woman looked up from the fire, her grey eyes wide and staring. She'd guessed a long time ago that Hua was more than what she chose to appear, and there was enough of those legends left to connect the dots to the ancient Phoenix who had protected the Far East. But this, even with the reason for Otto's dispatch, was more.
"I told you when you asked about her that I had nothing to give," Hua continued, grasping the words steadily. "That was true until the moment that I knew it was real - that she was real. I won't apologise for that, but I would ask if you could forgive me for any deception."
Lixue held her gaze for a long moment, then slowly nodded. "I always knew you had secrets, Master. I'd accepted being kept ignorant of most of them."
Real pain flashed in Hua's eyes for a moment. It wasn't the first time she'd seen that expression on her student's face, but it was the first time she'd ever felt it herself.
"I can't apologise for many of those." Hua bowed her head. "And I'm not sure I can still answer all of your questions, but I..." Something sharp and bright flashed across the ancient Mantis's face, the exact emotions too fast to track. "I'd like to try."
"Not because of any obligation?" Lixue asked carefully. Hua shook her head.
"No." Hua spread her hands and words poured out. She forced her head up, so that Lixue could see her eyes, glistening with almost-tears.. "I could say yes, and it might even be true. But I want this, Lixue, and not to settle any sort of debt. Not because you deserve to know, for all that you truly do."
"Then why?" Lixue asked, leaning forward. Her student's voice was quiet, intent.
Why did she want it? It was a good question - after all, hadn't she gone through thousands of years deliberately not opening her heart this way? The last time she'd tried it had almost killed her, and wounded her nearly beyond repair. And yet, she wanted it, wanted to know, as if some part of her had been waiting for this chance forever.
"Because for the first time in fifty thousand years," Hua said, "I think I might actually remember what hope feels like again."
"All because of her?" The question came suddenly, but there wasn't a hint of the envy that Hua might have feared. A smile drifted onto her face, like the sun breaking through nigh-on permanent grey sky. Then she shook her head.
"Not just her," she sighed, breathing in the fireside air. It filled her with warmth, feeding the circling sparks deep in her chest. "But Elysia made us believe in hope, even when there didn't seem to be any for us to find. When we were forced to fight to save a world that wasn't even sure if it wanted us to save it. When she...left. I suppose, I can't call it dying now. She took so much with her. I saw the men and women who I'd fought with side by side against the very worst of Honkai break, somehow. And I broke with them."
"The day we all failed," she said in a whisper. Her eyes were fixed on somewhere far beyond the expansive living room, and Lixue shivered for a moment as cold as deep as space reflected in her master's eyes. They cleared of it quickly, but it was more true emotion than the woman had seen from her teacher in a lifetime.
"That was the day, I think," Hua continued, still locked in that thousand-yard stare. "The day that started me down this terrible road. That would've never had me sit here in the first place with you, and if I had, to find other words to say. But I don't think I like that person, Lixue. I owe it to so many to be better than her, and I'd like to make that beginning with you. If you'll let me?"
"I- '' Lixue blinked away sudden tears, words choking in her throat. But nothing could have stopped her forever. "Yes. Yes! Of course."
"Then I think it must start with this." Hua came to her feet, a small motion of fingers telling Lixue not to match her this time. She stepped forward across the space between them, sinking down onto her knees until they were facing each other, bare inches apart. She took her student's fingers in her hands, forcing them not to tremble.
"Cheng Lixue." A veil of formality filled her words, enough to cloak at least some of the deep emotion surging within them. "My student, my ward, I have kept from you what any orphan would wish for. So now, better late than never, I offer you all I can think to give the daughter I never called such."
"Would you take my name?" Lixue's vision blurred as Hua asked the question. "It is an old one, with nothing but ancient sorrow to be remembered by, but perhaps we could change that as well. Would you make it your own?"
"I would," she whispered back, voice barely audible. "I will do everything I can to be worthy of it."
"You already are," Hua told her, squeezing her hands. "I am so very proud of the woman you've become." There was a singular beat, a long one by speaking standards. Hua leaned forward, and Lixue matched her, setting forehead to forehead. "Then I give you all that I am. Everything that I know. It is yours."
"I will treasure you, Fu Lixue." The silence that followed this time was not an empty one. There was a richness and rightness to the lack of words, as a student who'd always wished to be a daughter was acknowledged by a Celestial who'd never dared hope to have a child of her own. There was no need for words, but a need for the touch of skin, the closeness of bodies without anything sexual to it. Simple presence, the only thing the student had been able to rely on as a child.
"Thank you, teacher," Lixue started to reply, then shook her head, correcting herself. "No." She smiled, and it was a radiant thing, banishing the shadows from the bright room. "Thank you, mother."
The next silence was more awkward, as if both were trying to parse out what to do now that a truth that had always been had finally been acknowledged. Finally, Lixue shook her head and pulled the hands of her teacher forward, bringing the woman into a hug. It still wasn't quite right, but it was closer.
"We are going to have to learn a great deal, aren't we," she sighed, resting her head on her mother's shoulder for the first time she could ever think of it that way openly.
"I suppose we shall." Hua agreed, though still a little hesitantly. As if still feeling out the right words, from half-remembered moments five hundred lifetimes past. There was...so much missing for now. She'd have to find it again.
"We're going to be very bad at this, aren't we," Lixue snorted, and Hua laughed despite herself.
"Probably. I'm sorry," she apologised. "I really am."
"Don't be," Lixue insisted, holding Hua close. It was strange, but for once she couldn't feel the weight of the world crushing down on her shoulders. Instead, she felt...content. Complete. It was the fullness of what she'd only glimpsed for every year of her childhood, just out of reach, but close enough to be a tormenting glimpse.
That didn't make that older pain vanish, but it did change it. For the first time, there was only this moment, and this feeling. It was overwhelming, and yet she knew that it was the only thing that mattered.
"Anything else...wouldn't be you."
When she'd taken Lixue in as an orphan, she'd believed that bringing her into her home would provide some much needed stability to the sorrowful child after being left alone in the world. She'd trained her, like she'd trained so very few since her catastrophic battle atop Mount Taixuan. Given her purpose, the skills to protect it, and the wisdom to choose her own in time.
She knew that she hadn't been wrong to train the young girl. She'd been right to bring her into home, and to raise her as if she were her own, but therein lay the greatest part of her mistake: she'd never taken that last step. Hua turned her eyes away from the dancing flames to the woman she'd raised. Lixue simply stared into the fire, her lips level, breathing steady, but Hua had taught her those techniques. She could recognise when someone was separating themselves from a situation, and when they were about to come apart at the seams.
"I would imagine you have questions," Hua offered. It wasn't anything close to perfect, but speaking had never been a strength in any of her lives. Phoenix and Empyrea had protected and taught, but she'd left the ruling to others. Perhaps that had been how she'd so deeply lost track of things, before it had all broken. And why could she remember all of that, anyway?
"A few more pressing," Lixue replied, her voice very quiet. She still didn't move her eyes from the fire. "You were talking with her, with Elysia, like you knew her. Is that, is that actually true?"
"It is." Hua nodded. Even an hour before, that would have been the end of it. But here and now was somewhen different. "She was, she is, a friend older than the world you know. We fought side by side, in humanity's first war against the Honkai. A war that ended with the death of the Previous Era."
There was a sharp intake of breath, breaking the steady pattern her student had been keeping. The far, far, younger woman looked up from the fire, her grey eyes wide and staring. She'd guessed a long time ago that Hua was more than what she chose to appear, and there was enough of those legends left to connect the dots to the ancient Phoenix who had protected the Far East. But this, even with the reason for Otto's dispatch, was more.
"I told you when you asked about her that I had nothing to give," Hua continued, grasping the words steadily. "That was true until the moment that I knew it was real - that she was real. I won't apologise for that, but I would ask if you could forgive me for any deception."
Lixue held her gaze for a long moment, then slowly nodded. "I always knew you had secrets, Master. I'd accepted being kept ignorant of most of them."
Real pain flashed in Hua's eyes for a moment. It wasn't the first time she'd seen that expression on her student's face, but it was the first time she'd ever felt it herself.
"I can't apologise for many of those." Hua bowed her head. "And I'm not sure I can still answer all of your questions, but I..." Something sharp and bright flashed across the ancient Mantis's face, the exact emotions too fast to track. "I'd like to try."
"Not because of any obligation?" Lixue asked carefully. Hua shook her head.
"No." Hua spread her hands and words poured out. She forced her head up, so that Lixue could see her eyes, glistening with almost-tears.. "I could say yes, and it might even be true. But I want this, Lixue, and not to settle any sort of debt. Not because you deserve to know, for all that you truly do."
"Then why?" Lixue asked, leaning forward. Her student's voice was quiet, intent.
Why did she want it? It was a good question - after all, hadn't she gone through thousands of years deliberately not opening her heart this way? The last time she'd tried it had almost killed her, and wounded her nearly beyond repair. And yet, she wanted it, wanted to know, as if some part of her had been waiting for this chance forever.
"Because for the first time in fifty thousand years," Hua said, "I think I might actually remember what hope feels like again."
"All because of her?" The question came suddenly, but there wasn't a hint of the envy that Hua might have feared. A smile drifted onto her face, like the sun breaking through nigh-on permanent grey sky. Then she shook her head.
"Not just her," she sighed, breathing in the fireside air. It filled her with warmth, feeding the circling sparks deep in her chest. "But Elysia made us believe in hope, even when there didn't seem to be any for us to find. When we were forced to fight to save a world that wasn't even sure if it wanted us to save it. When she...left. I suppose, I can't call it dying now. She took so much with her. I saw the men and women who I'd fought with side by side against the very worst of Honkai break, somehow. And I broke with them."
"The day we all failed," she said in a whisper. Her eyes were fixed on somewhere far beyond the expansive living room, and Lixue shivered for a moment as cold as deep as space reflected in her master's eyes. They cleared of it quickly, but it was more true emotion than the woman had seen from her teacher in a lifetime.
"That was the day, I think," Hua continued, still locked in that thousand-yard stare. "The day that started me down this terrible road. That would've never had me sit here in the first place with you, and if I had, to find other words to say. But I don't think I like that person, Lixue. I owe it to so many to be better than her, and I'd like to make that beginning with you. If you'll let me?"
"I- '' Lixue blinked away sudden tears, words choking in her throat. But nothing could have stopped her forever. "Yes. Yes! Of course."
"Then I think it must start with this." Hua came to her feet, a small motion of fingers telling Lixue not to match her this time. She stepped forward across the space between them, sinking down onto her knees until they were facing each other, bare inches apart. She took her student's fingers in her hands, forcing them not to tremble.
"Cheng Lixue." A veil of formality filled her words, enough to cloak at least some of the deep emotion surging within them. "My student, my ward, I have kept from you what any orphan would wish for. So now, better late than never, I offer you all I can think to give the daughter I never called such."
"Would you take my name?" Lixue's vision blurred as Hua asked the question. "It is an old one, with nothing but ancient sorrow to be remembered by, but perhaps we could change that as well. Would you make it your own?"
"I would," she whispered back, voice barely audible. "I will do everything I can to be worthy of it."
"You already are," Hua told her, squeezing her hands. "I am so very proud of the woman you've become." There was a singular beat, a long one by speaking standards. Hua leaned forward, and Lixue matched her, setting forehead to forehead. "Then I give you all that I am. Everything that I know. It is yours."
"I will treasure you, Fu Lixue." The silence that followed this time was not an empty one. There was a richness and rightness to the lack of words, as a student who'd always wished to be a daughter was acknowledged by a Celestial who'd never dared hope to have a child of her own. There was no need for words, but a need for the touch of skin, the closeness of bodies without anything sexual to it. Simple presence, the only thing the student had been able to rely on as a child.
"Thank you, teacher," Lixue started to reply, then shook her head, correcting herself. "No." She smiled, and it was a radiant thing, banishing the shadows from the bright room. "Thank you, mother."
The next silence was more awkward, as if both were trying to parse out what to do now that a truth that had always been had finally been acknowledged. Finally, Lixue shook her head and pulled the hands of her teacher forward, bringing the woman into a hug. It still wasn't quite right, but it was closer.
"We are going to have to learn a great deal, aren't we," she sighed, resting her head on her mother's shoulder for the first time she could ever think of it that way openly.
"I suppose we shall." Hua agreed, though still a little hesitantly. As if still feeling out the right words, from half-remembered moments five hundred lifetimes past. There was...so much missing for now. She'd have to find it again.
"We're going to be very bad at this, aren't we," Lixue snorted, and Hua laughed despite herself.
"Probably. I'm sorry," she apologised. "I really am."
"Don't be," Lixue insisted, holding Hua close. It was strange, but for once she couldn't feel the weight of the world crushing down on her shoulders. Instead, she felt...content. Complete. It was the fullness of what she'd only glimpsed for every year of her childhood, just out of reach, but close enough to be a tormenting glimpse.
That didn't make that older pain vanish, but it did change it. For the first time, there was only this moment, and this feeling. It was overwhelming, and yet she knew that it was the only thing that mattered.
"Anything else...wouldn't be you."
This I LOVE, It explains everything yet nothing in the best way~ Your writing is genuinely fantastic!
Chapter 13
Snowfire
Polyglot of Chimera
- Location
- Wordcats
I stepped through from the expansive landing into the bedroom beyond. Seele's room could have been adorable, if it wasn't so utterly empty. The girl herself knelt on the bed in front of me, eyes cast down towards the mattress with a level expression on her face. She didn't react to my presence. The walls were pastel-blue, with a large window looking out into the forest behind the home her family had been assigned. There were only a few pieces of other furniture: a cabinet that I assumed held her clothes, a bedside table with only a lamp on it, and a wall-mounted bookshelf that was almost pointedly empty but for a single shelf.
It… wasn't the bedroom that I'd expected from a nine year old. It was like the room was still waiting to be filled, and Seele lacked the motivation to do so.
"Hi~" I said, walking over to her side. She didn't look up. "Did your parents tell you why I wanted to talk to you?"
She turned in on herself as I approached, keeping her eyes down. Her reply was so quiet that I had to strain my own lovely ears to catch it. "They told me that you… wanted to make sure I was okay. After what happened."
"Well that's true," I said, "but it's not quite the entire truth. Just what I told your parents."
'She's a liar,' I heard, in the back of my mind. Crackling, like a malfunctioning radio. Veliona's voice was as much a shout as a whisper, all she could push through ill-adapted hardware, but the anger was unmistakable. So was the distrust, and fear. So... was her age. Veliona's voice was high-pitched, angry, and far, far too young.
I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I had known.
"My name's Elysia," I continued. I couldn't begin that conversation, not yet. I needed to at least have Seele willing to trust me when I said I believed her. "What's your name?"
"S...Seele, ma'am," Seele answered quickly, eyes darting to one side. Her fingers were twisted together on her lap, and I could see them trembling. "And I'm alright. Really."
She very much was not. But I knew with the experience of a lifetime that she'd never admit it. Not when not being okay had turned her life into this. I couldn't just… speak what needed to be spoken. Everything I knew told me that, everything I'd ever learnt - but that wasn't all of who I was, was it?
I was still scared of being that person, stepping into the shoes of someone so much bigger than who I'd been, but it had already happened dozens of times. I wouldn't ever stop being afraid of that, at least I hoped not. But I could be brave. Elysia always had been, even at the very end. Something else, then.
"May I sit down?" We asked.
Seele looked around the room worriedly, then slowly replied. "There… aren't any chairs."
"Space on the bed though, right?" we asked, stepping up to it and turning. Trying our best not to loom, but it was difficult even when Elysia was shorter than I'd been. Seele looked up at me hesitantly, her eyes such a brilliant blue-
'You can't trust her. She'll try to kill you, like she did... she'll try to kill you.' Veliona sounded desperate now, and more than a little confused. What was going on in her mind, I wondered.
-and ducked her head back down almost fast enough to conceal the flash of red across her irises. But only almost.
I didn't want to do this. I'd considered other ways; asking Hua for help, or approaching slowly, over time. None of those would have worked. I was hurting them both here and now, but so was simple life.
"If you like," Seele murmured, and we settled in next to her.
We still gave her space - energy boiled beneath the skin of reality around her and we'd no desire to engage with that. We'd spent half a day looking back into our shared memories to find out what had happened in the Previous Era to lead to this. Much had been classified even from the second strongest of the Flamechasers, but they'd not been able to hide everything.
"It's alright, Seele," I said gently, "we're not going to hurt you. I promise."
I tried to ignore the increasingly desperate denials from Veliona. The pleading cries for her host to listen to her, and to believe her when she swore we were a danger. Given what I knew of their relationship, it was hard to brush past the sounds of a child tearfully begging her sister to understand. All because she wanted to be safe.
I couldn't ignore that.
"And I'm not going to hurt you either." Her eyes snapped up again, and I nodded. My eyes flashed from cerulean blue to brilliant magenta, and the older Seele's words came to a very abrupt stop. "Other Seele."
'You can't hear me.'
Well, how should I put it? I could, because of a debugging channel I'd barely remembered the password for. That was best not to mention.
"Of course I can. You're loud," I replied. "And in terrible pain. I can feel a little of it, the systems that you were given, that found their way to your… I suppose we could call her your sister? They were never designed to support this type of output."
"You," Seele looked up at me with very wide eyes. "You can hear her? The other me?"
"I can." I nodded. "And I also know what happened, what really almost happened, back at the shuttleport. I'm so very sorry for exposing you both to that. I should have realised she'd react badly to certain people here."
'He would have killed us!'
"If he'd been forced to, by your actions-" I tried to keep my tone calm and level. "Then yes. But he's not who you think he is, you aren't the only girls here with that sort of power, and everything we told your parents about why they should come here was lies." I smiled hesitantly.
"The reason your family is here is because I know what you are, and what you are is a very rare and lucky girl." I tapped her gently on the nose, strands of rose light arcing out from the touch. "Or you can be. If… certain people a very long time ago had had the time to do their jobs right, I think you'd be fine. But as is…"
Seele's body jerked, as if she was fighting herself.
'You won't take her away!' Energy surged out from the words, forming layers of crimson shadows, but I didn't flinch away. It was a protective instinct, a defensive one, and pushing at it would just solidify her opinion of what I was. And Elysia was sure it would be fine.
So when the shadows washed over my hand, I let them. I didn't burn them away, though I knew I absolutely could. I just let my hand rest there, underneath. If you could've seen it, there would've been a delicate weave of Elysia's unique energy keeping it off of our skin.
Maintaining that was a struggle, but not for the reasons you might think. The ability to work with and manipulate Honkai energy was Elysia's - and by extension my own - literal birthright. Except both of us were theatrical to a fault, and that affected our…control mechanisms, I suppose. In trying to make something grand, something spectacular, we'd have no problem at all. All the power in the world.
Trying to do something personal and subtle fought both of those instincts. But this was important, as important as Sirin's salvation, and far more delicate. So I pushed myself to hold back that field, keeping it to myself and not a micron beyond.
"I've no intention of trying," I told them both. The shadows didn't stop, surrounding the girl in fields of tearing force that would've reduced even hardened Honkai flesh to a broken mess. And yet, the bed was still fine. That was honestly impressive. "You're meant to be together."
That did stop the shadows for a moment. Not enough for them to withdraw, or cease trying to rip my hand apart, but enough to make the attempt a little less focused.
"I can't fix what was done to you, I don't know how," I said, the admission burning me to make. But it needed to be made - if I wasn't utterly open right now, I'd lose them both. Just like Sirin, just like Bella. This was truly a world of broken girls, and I had to figure out ways to save them.
'Then why are you even here?' Static screeched in my ears, and that time I did flinch. Those were sensitive, damnit! Loud noises hurt!
Origin might work here, but it would be risky, and something had warned us both away from blatant use of that power here. Seele had been and could be again the Herrsher of Death, and the only weapon I possessed that was truly hers right now was the Core her Previous Era self had possessed.
And now, being here, I understood the other reason. Seele, the old one, couldn't remember enough of who she was to even be given a new beginning. You had to have at least something to build that foundation on, and it just wasn't there right now. Hard way it was, then.
The forces around my fingers abruptly intensified - she was getting remarkably inventive with them. "Because I don't need to know how to fix you to help!" I cried, trying to keep my voice low.
My status as a founding (ha!) member of Elysium had gotten me in here, but her parents would intervene if things got out of hand. And that wouldn't end well for anyone. "I can give you what you need to clear the system overload for now. It won't be perfect, and I don't know how long it'll take me to find someone who can give you a real solution."
A note: I knew where to go for that. But finding the time just wasn't possible right now, not with everything as delicate as it was in international relations right now. Anti-Entropy's actions hadn't gone unnoticed, and we'd taken some losses from Otto's retaliation. Welt had led several actions in newly contested spaces since, leveraging the immense power of the restored Star of Eden to contain Honkai incursions, but nothing was what I'd call settled right now.
And that didn't even get into how Sirin or Bella would react if I said I was going to vanish for more than a week. But that was okay, I could improvise with what I had. The furious screech around my ears faded, the shadows rippling slower, slower. Seele's face was still there, one blue eye frightened and the other desperate ruby too much to make sense of.
'How?' Was there hope in there, or did I imagine it?
"There," I swallowed down my own hopes for now. "There are safeguards. I can guess you've run into them before, found your way around others to get this much control. I know some of the original authentications, enough to let you clear the broken functions for now."
One of my friends, back before, could've explained this so much better than me. I could only try my best.
In the silence that followed as one Seele thought, the other spoke. "Can you, do you really think it will help?" Her voice was very small, and I did my best to give her a reassuring smile. It really is easier when you're this pretty.
"I do." No point trying to elaborate, I'd just butcher the explanation. She looked at me carefully, then down at the bloody shadows that had enveloped her entire body.
'We should try.' Her own communication was frightfully incomplete, a total mess of emotions more than words. But it was enough to make it through. 'Please, the other me. If it could help us, help you. We should try.'
There was a long silence, full of suspense as the two Seeles considered the option. One beseeching for it to be accepted, the other justifiably scared. But finally the shadows around the young girl shivered, and began to flow back into her skin.
'Give us what you promised.' The older Seele's voice was still distorted, but less harsh this time. More of the darkness flaked away, revealing pale skin again, normal clothes instead of the armour I knew she was capable of creating.
"One condition," I replied, speaking quickly to avoid a resurgence. "Once you've done what needs to be done, once you have the capacity to talk properly, you do that. We find time for both of you to talk, and be the people you should've gotten the chance to be."
'You-' one Seele snarled.
"Yes." The other said. That was a surprise. "You saw… saw what we almost did. And you still don't hate us?"
"Sweetheart," I sighed. "My daughter is a Herrscher who would've killed billions if I hadn't been there to stop her."
There was a sudden static-crackle sound from the Stigmata, like a blown fuse. The Seele present in front of me tilted her head a moment, then straightened sharply. The word hadn't entered common use here, not yet. And if we had anything to say about it, not ever - at least not with those meanings.
"I…see," she said at length. She didn't, but that was okay. Time enough for that later.
"You can meet her sometime, if you like," I added brightly. Though perhaps not on our first occasion to talk. "But for now, other Seele, and I'm very sorry for that to sound so demeaning, are you listening?"
'I am.'
"And do you agree?"
The distortion made the hiss of an angry cat, then diminished. 'Yes.'
"Then listen close," I said. We cast our mind back, to a memory of a lazy afternoon with Elysia's Mei, spent listening to her talk about her new, greatest solution to the Honkai. The beautiful beginning of Project Stigma, before it was twisted by time and necessity into something that would kill billions. Now they could help someone.
"First…"
KadinaruDess
Allergic to cobwebs, loves spiders and dusty books
- Location
- The Great Library Room
There's the path for fighting back WS, huh.
With Seele railroaded away from X-10 experiments, I really wonder if keBin will be stuck in SoQ for a bit longer. Prolly not, because WS, but I really do wonder how many more years Project Stigma could be postponed?
I really like the fact that Project Stigma isn't being portrayed as a Evangeline-Esc plan; It was designed as a more or less "oh fuck shit everything's else has failed" last resort. And who knows your version of Project Stigma might be completely different from the cannon one (I do eagerly await Ke🅱️in reaction to our lovely elf existing in modern day + sim elf).
BritishGrenadier
Summon The Elector Counts!
- Location
- Nova Scotia Halifax
Let it be known that you are the greatest honkai fanfic writer to ever have graced this earth.
I am astounded at such quality and magnificence. Thank you for making my day.
I am astounded at such quality and magnificence. Thank you for making my day.
Snowfire
Polyglot of Chimera
- Location
- Wordcats
- Location
- Canada
Man, I only recently started playing Honkai but I've already been up and down the wiki and fanfics (and therefore spoiled enough to understand what's happening).
This is definitely one of my favourites already, and very cute. Elysia is right in saying this world is so cruel to cute girls. A version of the world with hugs and headpats instead is nice.
It's a pity though that technically K-423 will never be "born". Though I suppose given the original's new chance at a childhood she will likely end up being closer to her than how she actually ended up under Otto.
EDIT: I keep re-reading the Fu Hua parts and I think I ship Elysia/Fu Hua now tbh. I agree with the previous commenter that the Einstein thing happened really quick, and personally I'm a sucker for long time friends falling for each other. Could give the kids a new older step-sister too.
This is definitely one of my favourites already, and very cute. Elysia is right in saying this world is so cruel to cute girls. A version of the world with hugs and headpats instead is nice.
It's a pity though that technically K-423 will never be "born". Though I suppose given the original's new chance at a childhood she will likely end up being closer to her than how she actually ended up under Otto.
EDIT: I keep re-reading the Fu Hua parts and I think I ship Elysia/Fu Hua now tbh. I agree with the previous commenter that the Einstein thing happened really quick, and personally I'm a sucker for long time friends falling for each other. Could give the kids a new older step-sister too.
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Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
I think you will find that K-423 is right here, being headpatted by Elysia.
My opinion on this isn't necessarily Snowie's. However, it's a matter of record that Sirin—in the body of a Kiana clone—made a conscious decision to pretend that she was actually Kiana, and act that way. A decision that did no good for her mental health… but at the time Sigurd adopted her, she still remembered her past. It was later on that she suppressed it so hard she effectively lost the memories.
I'd say something about "and created a secondary persona", but I don't think that's what physically happened. I think, like in Senti's case, the void core effectively comes with one. Sirin originally let it blend with her; by pushing it down and suppressing those urges, she forced it to use the (less effective!) strategy of creating a mind of its own.
In which case K-423 is simply Sirin, and the HoV personality is a… cardboard cutout. She wasn't capable of changing, in any real sense, even if she still represented part of Sirin's memories.
This matches with what we see in the Flamescion chapter, where Kiana explicitly accepts Sirin's past, and the name, as her own. Kiana's behaviour also changes a little bit in the process; more towards what a grown-up Sirin might have been like.
She's less desperate to act like her hypothetical model of her big sister, I suppose.
—
In this story? No, K-423 won't exist, and good riddance. That's just a statement that Sirin is in a better spot mentally, however. She's still the same girl.
Kiana had a martyr complex a mile wide. Sirin doesn't.
I admire Kiana. But I prefer Sirin. I think Sirin will have a better life than Kiana ever could.
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- Location
- Canada
Ah. See, as I said in my post, I've only recently started Honkai. While I have the general gist of the story, I do not yet know all the little details. I've seen the HoV persona being referred to as Sirin in other fics, and even Kiana accepting the name as well. But I thought there was more separation between them than that, that the acceptance was part a legacy thing and part that they're still very intertwined either way.I think you will find that K-423 is right here, being headpatted by Elysia.
My opinion on this isn't necessarily Snowie's. However, it's a matter of record that Sirin—in the body of a Kiana clone—made a conscious decision to pretend that she was actually Kiana, and act that way. A decision that did no good for her mental health… but at the time Sigurd adopted her, she still remembered her past. It was later on that she suppressed it so hard she effectively suppressed the memories.
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
Calling Kiana Sirin, in-universe, would be wrong.
But that's because Kiana is ten years older, has grown up a lot, overcome a lot of trauma and has a fairly different personality as a result of all of that. It's also because everyone who knows her as her, calls her Kiana; anyone calling her Sirin would likely be thinking of the traumatised girl who was twisted (by what is likely literal mind-control) into killing a billion people. And that's not who Kiana is, anymore.
But they're not, like. Different people. Sirin changed her name. She answers to Kiana now.
She'd also answer to Sirin, if she found someone who would use that and mean it well.
- Location
- England
That's not how the Kiana/HoV split actually happened in canon though. Sirin is dead, but in her last moments she couldn't help but think of what life could have been if only Cecelia could be her mother again.I think you will find that K-423 is right here, being headpatted by Elysia.
My opinion on this isn't necessarily Snowie's. However, it's a matter of record that Sirin—in the body of a Kiana clone—made a conscious decision to pretend that she was actually Kiana, and act that way. A decision that did no good for her mental health… but at the time Sigurd adopted her, she still remembered her past. It was later on that she suppressed it so hard she effectively lost the memories.
I'd say something about "and created a secondary persona", but I don't think that's what physically happened. I think, like in Senti's case, the void core effectively comes with one. Sirin originally let it blend with her; by pushing it down and suppressing those urges, she forced it to use the (less effective!) strategy of creating a mind of its own.
In which case K-423 is simply Sirin, and the HoV personality is a… cardboard cutout. She wasn't capable of changing, in any real sense, even if she still represented part of Sirin's memories.
This matches with what we see in the Flamescion chapter, where Kiana explicitly accepts Sirin's past, and the name, as her own. Kiana's behaviour also changes a little bit in the process; more towards what a grown-up Sirin might have been like.
She's less desperate to act like her hypothetical model of her big sister, I suppose.
—
In this story? No, K-423 won't exist, and good riddance. That's just a statement that Sirin is in a better spot mentally, however. She's still the same girl.
Kiana had a martyr complex a mile wide. Sirin doesn't.
I admire Kiana. But I prefer Sirin. I think Sirin will have a better life than Kiana ever could.
Kiana and "Sirin" (HoV) both originate from Sirin, but where Kiana took up Sirin's desperate hopes for that beautiful future, HoV was her nihilism and hatred towards the world. This is why, unlike Seele, the two are completely unable to overcome their differences in Chapter 25, they are fundamentally opposites where it matters.
- Location
- Canada
Man, just the nature of K-423/Kiana's existence is so complicated. Wonder how Elysia will explain all of it. And that's before getting into everything else. I swear she's going to need gigantic flowcharts to cover all this shit with different eras, characters living for hundreds or thousands of years just in the current era, shit with bubble universes, potential alternate futures, etc.
And then there's the stuff in Chapter 33/v6.2 (which the events made me do even though I'm still on like Chapter 8 or something). Is that going to be incorporated into this, or just ignored as it was not planned for? If the former, is it going to be massaged into Elysia's knowledge or considered something she didn't get to experience before getting isekaied, leaving a hole in her knowledge?
EDIT2: Imma just keep slapping on edits here to avoid doubleposting as I get new thoughts each time I reread this or as I progress through the story and I actually understand some of the more subtle parts in this.
Ely should probably warn Hua about the Era counterpart stuff and/or reincarnation or whatever the fuck is going on with that. Would probably be a rude shock otherwise when she meets Himeko soon.
EDIT3: I wonder how much Elysia has actually told AE so far, and how much of the future she actually plans on telling people in general. A lot of the smaller details are no longer important given how much she has already changed, but I kinda want to see their reactions anyway. I'm just imagining a giant tangled flowchart covering 50000 years, and looks of horror as everybody realizes that 90% of it is just emotional trauma.
And then there's the stuff in Chapter 33/v6.2 (which the events made me do even though I'm still on like Chapter 8 or something). Is that going to be incorporated into this, or just ignored as it was not planned for? If the former, is it going to be massaged into Elysia's knowledge or considered something she didn't get to experience before getting isekaied, leaving a hole in her knowledge?
So Hare. Is she going to exist here? Some of it flew over my head, but with her being some incarnated form of Schariac-based stigma it would be a surprise to me if Cecilia dying in the Second Eruption wasn't a key part of her formation. What another tragic character. Born into a cursed existence and then immediately trying repeatedly to kill yourself. Eventually finally succeeding in "dying". Sure she was "reborn" without the curse, but they implied enough separation between their two existences that I feel bad for the first Misteln.
Without Misteln, what happens to Alexandra and Bronya? Since Elysia enlisted AE to track down all the girls can they manage to find her fast enough to render medical aid?
EDIT: Played a bit more. I see what you mean about playing fast and loose with the timeline now. Since Bronya was born in the wake of the Second Eruption, and the other's from the orphanage should be younger than her, neither Seele nor the twins should even be born yet. In which case maybe Misteln should be ignored entirely.
Without Misteln, what happens to Alexandra and Bronya? Since Elysia enlisted AE to track down all the girls can they manage to find her fast enough to render medical aid?
EDIT: Played a bit more. I see what you mean about playing fast and loose with the timeline now. Since Bronya was born in the wake of the Second Eruption, and the other's from the orphanage should be younger than her, neither Seele nor the twins should even be born yet. In which case maybe Misteln should be ignored entirely.
EDIT2: Imma just keep slapping on edits here to avoid doubleposting as I get new thoughts each time I reread this or as I progress through the story and I actually understand some of the more subtle parts in this.
Ely should probably warn Hua about the Era counterpart stuff and/or reincarnation or whatever the fuck is going on with that. Would probably be a rude shock otherwise when she meets Himeko soon.
EDIT3: I wonder how much Elysia has actually told AE so far, and how much of the future she actually plans on telling people in general. A lot of the smaller details are no longer important given how much she has already changed, but I kinda want to see their reactions anyway. I'm just imagining a giant tangled flowchart covering 50000 years, and looks of horror as everybody realizes that 90% of it is just emotional trauma.
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Snowfire
Polyglot of Chimera
- Location
- Wordcats
Distractions abound, but to answer this just quickly: No, no she will not. Hare came into existence as a direct result of the conclusion of the Second Eruption - specifically Cecilia dying. As this has not happened, no opportunity for such an entity to come into existence has arisen.
As regards other latest chapter things, we'll see. I have some headcanons on the nature of Origin and Finality that I'm using a lot in OoE, but we'll see where that goes. Though the last few chapters have only made me more certain that I'm right.
A goodly amount, but a lot of it is hiding behind her finally remembering to give Einstein the Void Archives as that will give arguably the brightest mind of CE humanity full access to PE humanity's technology and the ability to flashforge pretty much anything she needs from that database. I'm...honestly kinda terrified of what she'll end up doing with it.
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- Location
- Canada
Incidentally, just finished reading Second Eruption last night. Man, fuck Otto. Even if I can respect his dedication to Kallen, and how interesting he is as a character, I hate the man's guts for ruining so many lives.
He actually had me believing in his lie that Cecilia was losing to Sirin and the missiles struck the final blow, until I actually got to the end of the manga. But no, Siegfried had already taken her down, Sirin could have easily been killed by that point if that was all he wanted to do, Otto just couldn't stand the idea of Siegfried being that powerful.
Reading Second Eruption knowing mostly how things would turn out was like watching a slow moving trainwreck that involves people I actually care about on that train. It was difficult to get through.
Snowfire
Polyglot of Chimera
- Location
- Wordcats
And let's just remember: it didn't even kill Siegfried.
But yes, welcome to the pain. It's the MHY way.
Isiri Pudireach
Predictive text can go duck itself
Those poor Genshin players don't know what they're in for.
- Location
- Canada
Genshin gets kind of dark in the side quests and lore, and the Sumeru storyline with Rukkhadevata and Nahida was suitably tragic, but man, Honkai is just all of that all the time.
If it is put off for long enough, you could argue that VA is too!
The event verse, barring some specific events are actually pretty bright and hilarious.
I mean just recently Su got Emotional Damage from Kiana calling him uncle. That's a small chuckle from me at least.
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
The events are hilarious. The 'verse, and implications thereof, are less so.
I love Bronie, it's nice seeing un-traumatised bunny, but her personality says sad things about Bronya. Seele seems to find herself in deep trouble in virtually every reality she exists in. And the twins…
Delta's "little sisters" are probably critical to keeping her alive, but their past isn't so comedic if you take it seriously.
Then there's all the worlds that just sort of fall apart, on screen.
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