Oh Mama... Tell your children...
-x-
"It should be important to note," Urahara explained, "The Dangai warps space and time. Poe already experienced some of that, but you need to understand there is a very real likelihood of time travel." He looked at me, "That being said, Poe, don't stop. Just hold your foot on the pedal and don't let go."
My smile couldn't get much wider, but it was the sentiment that counted. "No brakes?"
"No breaks," Urahara confirmed. The sound that elicited from me was a squeal, not unlike the sound a teapot made when the water boiled.
Ichigo just stared at me, "Uh… are you alright, Poe?"
"I… have never been more spectacular." That was all I really needed to say, wasn't it?
He took a step back with slightly widened eyes, "Okaaaaay…"
Urahara continued as though uninterrupted, "Upon entry into the Soul Society, Yoruichi will assist with the landing if it becomes necessary. Now–"
"Let's get in the Mystery Machine, gang!" I cried as I pulled open the door and hopped in the driver's seat. I checked my dashboard and noticed a discrepancy, "Hold on, where's Kon?"
"The mod soul?" Urahara asked, "He'll be covering for Ichigo while he's gone."
"Oh. Huh." I considered saluting the hula girl on his journey through the darkness that was Ichigo's life and Urahara's business of defending the city from filler foes and, "Okay! Everyone, get in the fucking van! We're on a road trip to the afterlife!"
They piled into the extended van of awesome. Miraculously, there was still plenty of leg space. Yoruichi sat on my left. "You know what you're doing, right? You're not going to crash into the wall or anything…"
"Yoruichi," I glanced at her, "Do you have so little faith in me?"
The look in her eyes was answer enough. I just laughed.
"…Miss Orihime, I'm scared."
"I'm scared, too Shishikawara."
"…My name is–!"
What a fascinating conversation. I floored it as soon as Urahara had a portal open.
-x-
"So… what were you guys all scared about, anyway?" Ichigo asked Orihime and Shishigawara, "This isn't that bad."
"It could be a little less bumpy," mused Uryu, "But as we're travelling between dimensions in a van, I shouldn't be complaining."
"You guys don't get it! He's a monster! A maniac!" Shishigawara attempted to explain, "When I was in the van, he… He…"
"Vans don't fly." Orihime said simply, "Why, then, can he make them fly?"
"They don't drive on rivers, either!" Shishigawara snapped. "Any second now, we're going to be upside down, on fire,
screaming…" He looked pale, his eyes were wide, "Vans aren't supposed to
work like that…"
Phasing out the conversation behind us, I just kept my eyes on the road ahead of us. Yoruichi occasionally stared at me. After a few minutes of that, I felt my patience vanish, "What? What is it?"
"You're… not doing anything strangely…"
"Huh?"
"I mean, you're just driving in a straight line."
"Yes. And?"
"Why?"
I considered stopping the van to rant at her, but Urahara told me not to. So… yeah, "We're in a space between space, a time before and after time, and you're suggesting I try running us into a wall?"
Yoruichi shook her head, "No, no, no! I mean… Usually, when you drive, it gets…"
"Safe? Comfortable? Excellent?"
"
Hectic."
"My road trips are an acquired taste."
"The point is… why are you just driving without, well, doing what you normally do?"
I considered how to answer that. "Well," I began, "Let's think about how I got here. Dimensional travel. I don't want to re-experience that, or inflict that experience on anybody else. Because so far? This has sucked balls."
"It can't have been that bad…"
"I've gotten the shit beaten out of me more times in the past two weeks than I have in my entire life. Every day, something bad has happened to me or has involved me. Dimensional travel is bullshit that nobody should have to deal with."
"So you're driving carefully because you don't want to do it again?"
"Pssshh! Nah… I just don't have to make any turns. Drive straight. Easiest thing in the world," I leaned back, "All I need to do is keep this on cruise control and–"
"Oh my god, hands on the wheel,
now."
"Huh? But I…"
"Hands. Wheel.
Now."
-x-
"We've been driving for…" I checked the clock, "An hour. How have we been driving for an hour?"
"Time moves differently in the Dangai." Yoruichi waved me off, "This isn't as unusual as you'd think. We'll be there shortly."
"If you say so." I said with a shrug, "Hey, I've got a magic radio. Any genre requests?"
Ichigo shrugged, "Anything's fine. It's
way too quiet in here."
"Rap!" Shishigawara called.
"Classical," suggested Uryu.
Orihime grinned, "Something European."
I looked at Yoruichi, "Anything?"
"Techno. Fusion, preferably."
"…Seriously?" I just looked at her, "
Seriously?"
She shrugged, "Techno has a good beat to it."
I bit my lip, "Okay, uh…" I thought about it, "Let's listen to a classic. Something that everyone in the world knows by heart…" I turned on the radio.
I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck, so I shake my butt…
"No!" Yoruichi smacked the back of my head.
In response, I turned off the radio. "Okay. No music, then. That's fine, too." We were still driving. For fifteen minutes, silence passed. "Hey, uh, Uryu, you… you never answered me on why there are crosses on my hoodie. And my apron."
"I made the apron and Urahara asked me to repair your hoodie. It was damaged." He answered succinctly.
I nodded, "Okay. So the crosses?"
"What about them? I made sure the colors blended nicely."
A red set of crosses on the front of my apron that covered the chest, a white set of identical crosses on the back of my hoodie covering about the same area… the contrasts weren't bad; they just made me look like some fanatical knight of the Templar order.
"I'm not comfortable wearing crosses." I wanted to look back to address him, but a glare from Yoruichi left me thinking that taking my eyes off the 'road' would be a poor decision at this juncture.
"Ah." Uryu exhaled, "Religious reasons?"
"Parental, personal, etcetera… My mother's protestant, my father's Jewish, and at best I'm Buddhist. Crosses don't really come into the equation in my life." I ran a mental count, "Let alone ten of them."
"First, you are not wearing
ten crosses."
"Oh. Because it looks like–"
"It's a pair of five-fold crosses."
"…so it's ten crosses."
"No, it's two Jerusalem crosses. This isn't hard to understand."
"Well, why did you put them on my apron? And my hoodie? Not that I'm ungrateful for you replacing the former and fixing the latter, but the crosses are just… uncomfortable."
"They just fit."
"They just fit?"
"They just fit."
"That's… That doesn't make
sense."
"Quincies derive power from a very thin bloodline lasting over a thousand years and tracing back to the first Quincy. Part of why we were able to survive was because of our participation in the Crusades."
"…That explains so little, and yet so much." I sighed, "So, basically, you participated in the Crusades and decided to keep crosses around at all times?"
"You're close. Crosses, it was discovered, better channeled our power than any other symbols. Pentagrams were superior to that, in turn, but starting Quincies all use crosses with personal meaning to them."
"…So you put crosses on my hoodie and my work apron because…?"
"I put crosses on everything I fix. The history is only a benefit to the aesthetic appeal of one of mankind's eldest symbols."
"Oh." I considered that, "So… It's not because you want me to convert?"
"Absolutely not."
"And it's not because you want me to be a Quincy?"
"
Hell no."
"Okay, then. Good talk."
An awkward silence fell over the van of yes again. "So…" Orihime trailed, "We're not listening to music?"
taptaptaptap
-x-
"This is getting strange." Yoruichi commented, "We've been travelling for
two hours and there's no end in sight. And where the hell is the Kototsu?" she moved to check my rearview mirrors for the golden light of the black sweeper.
taptaptaptap
The Kototsu, also called the Wresting Surge or, more simply,
the Cleaner. This travelling engine of the Dangai would regularly cleanse it of intruders and any who would take advantage of the distorted time and space. This was something that arrived once a week, regularly.
taptaptaptap
Apparently, Urahara intended for the Kototsu to appear in our short journey. Or maybe he calculated the effect it would have on our trip, predetermining the amount of time that we would travel backwards upon arrival. Or was it before…?
taptaptaptap
I considered asking if that was what he planned, but something else occurred to me, "Wait. The Kototsu is missing. Do you think it's possible that I, uh…"
taptaptaptap
A concerned look crossed Yoruichi's face, "That… is a possibility," she conceded, "During your travels, it would be likely for something to occur to the Kototsu. Travelling through space and time has had negative effects on the Dangai and its unusual inhabitants in the past, so it wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility…"
taptaptaptap
"Let's suppose that I'm the reason the Kototsu isn't here, anymore. Would that explain why, uh," I gestured my head towards Ichigo. He wasn't listening to me. He was having a conversation with Orihime. Shishigawara was attempting to share words with Uryu, to little effect.
taptaptaptap
"Maybe. Maybe everything that is happening now is because of what happened to you. Or maybe something else is at play here. I don't know, and neither do you." Yoruichi leaned back in her seat, "There's no point blaming yourself for something beyond your control." Her voice took a bitter tone at that.
taptaptaptap
"Huh." I readjusted my grip of the steering wheel, "That's pretty wise of you."
taptaptaptap
In the darkness of the Dangai, my flaming van of justice burned bright. The dimensional tunnel through realities that whisked away all creation was silent except for the dulled roar of the engines of my soul. But neither behind us nor in front of us was there salvation in the form of an exit or damnation in the form of the destructive Kototsu.
taptaptaptap
All was quiet.
taptaptaptap
I put in more power to the van of victory, "We're leaving."
taptaptaptap
Yoruichi glanced at me, "Hm? What do you mean?"
taptaptaptap
"I mean we're leaving. Something's not right."
taptaptaptap
With a mighty thump, something smashed against the side of the van of awesome. To the vehicle's credit, it hardly swerved. Something was screaming. It didn't sound human, but the high hissing whine of the creature made my ears hurt and my body quiver.
taptaptaptap
"Did you hear that…?" Yoruichi asked me.
taptaptaptap
"I
felt that!" There was a light, "Everyone, we're done here! Get ready!"
taptaptaptap
Another thump was followed by the rhythmic beating of one of the back door. It was too dark to see outside the van – something wasn't right, something was
very wrong – another thump. I put more power into the engines. We were going faster, I knew.
A sword pierced the back of the van and the thing screeched louder. Shishigawara was quick to act, "Nope!" And punched the sword with all his might, breaking the thing and sending the creature hanging on by the back to fall away… The back doors opened and the rest of its blade fell out.
Behind us was a horde of white phantoms with bright red pinheads. Slowly, their featureless faces were being covered in chalky masks, faceless except for wordlessly screaming mouths that gaped open and shut. Swords jutted from their bodies as the things ran at us.
"Orihime! Make a shield!" I shouted.
"[[SHITEN KOSHUN!! I REJECT!!]]"
The explosion reflected in her eyes and, in the briefest instant, they weren't silver – but an amber color, kind of brown but brighter and – "POE!" Yoruichi snapped at me.
"I'm watching the road, I know!"
A light had finally appeared in front of us. The explosion behind the van was shut out by the closing of the portal between worlds. The black abyss of the Dangai disappeared into the blue sky as the van, and us inside, fell from it. "Van's aren't supposed to fly!!" Shishigawara cried as I maneuvered us into a landing.
"They do, now!" I snapped back.
With an impressive jerk, we hit the ground. It was not the best landing, but we made it. On a hill overlooking the Seireitei, we arrived. Dust covered the windows of the van. Uryu, thank god, had the presence of mind to shut the back doors before we made it.
"Is everyone okay?!" Ichigo asked, "We're all okay, right?!"
"That… That was terrifying…" Uryu panted. "Is this what you were warning us about?"
"Never again!" Orihime cried, "Just… No! If Mister Poe is driving, I don't want to be a part of it!"
"That's… harsh…" I pouted, "I got everyone here alright… shouldn't that count for something? Huh? Isn't that right, Yoruichi?" When I looked to her for a response, I found that she was already out of the car. She was just standing there, staring. I got out of the van of awesomeness to meet with her. "Hey, Yoruichi, what's…?" I stopped. I turned to look at what she was staring at with widened eyes and a slightly agape mouth. "…Oh my god."
Swaths of the Soul Society, the districts surrounding the Seireitei and even chunks of the Seireitei itself were burning. The wall that separated the Court of Pure Souls and the City of Wandering Souls – the Rukongai – the wall had collapsed in several places. The gates went down first, I mused, because those things were the weakest points of the walls.
I licked my lips and moved to respond. Everyone else had already gotten out of the van. They were just staring. "Did… Did we take a wrong turn? Are we in Hell?" Shishigawara asked.
"We might as well be…" I murmured in reply.
-x-
One Foot on the Platform
OR: One Foot on the Train
End-26
