One Foot - Another Multiverse SI

[Ars Poetica]

A cookie to whoever can guess the symbolism of Poe's swords. No seriously. Go for it.

-x-

There was no time to admire the maniacally laughing moon; there was only enough time for me to run naked and afraid through a forest of ominous trees in a place I did not know. Fortunately, there was a road sign up ahead – oh, wait. No. It was destroyed by one of Blair's pumpkin bombs.

Certainly the thought to defend myself popped into my head at some point, but what could be done? My clothes were gone, I couldn't find my sheath, and although the power of the Rider coursed through the soles of my feet and into the ground I touched, for some reason I was just too slow to escape the flying… opponent.

I stood in the forest for a moment and slapped my forehead with my palm. "Oh, you're giving up?" Blair's voice was taunting me. I could see her, sitting on her broom high above me.

"No," I said in reply. "I'm leaving." With nary a thought, I jumped into the air and formed a platform of spiritual particles – my feet hit the grass. I blinked. "…Um…" I jumped upon my platform and – grass, "Huh."

"You seem to be jumping–"

"I am aware, yes!" I kept hopping up and down, hoping for one of the invisible platforms I'd grown so accustomed to. There was only disappointment and failure to be found. "Hoh boy," looking at Blair, I tried to give her the best smile I could, "I don't suppose you'd be willing to forgive me…?"

Blair smiled back at me, "Nyope." and another bomb appeared above her fingertip.

I took a step back. Alright, then. New plan. So far, I was running away from her explosions. But judging from the burnt wood and dirt around us, I was willing to bet they were fire-based. If I just stood still and let her hit me with everything she had, I could walk away when she tired herself out!

"Okay! Hit me!" I presented my bare chest to her, "Hit me with all you've got!"

Her pumpkin beat into my chest hard enough to knock the wind out of me. One of my ribs definitely cracked in the process and suddenly my body was tumbling through the air, not necessarily of its own accord. I smashed through a tree and felt pain along my entire back. And when I tried to sit up and stand, a rock wedged itself in my ass cheek.

The pain was enough to send me sprawling in search of the thing. Man was not meant to wander nature without clothes and at the moment I was suffering the consequences. Beyond that, however, there was another issue. Though my body was immune to fire, it was not immune to concussive force. Blair's explosions apparently had enough such force to smack me around like a pinball.

"Oh? Are you alright? I hope I didn't break anything…" Blair trailed off with a look that was… not concerned, but curious. Oh, right. Blair was a cat. Though her form at the moment was certainly human, Blair was not. She was a cat before she was a girl, and though some instincts might be human, others were definitely animal-like. Cat-like.

And cats are sociopathic, manipulative, man-eating beasts. Good god that explained so much about Yoruichi, yet so little… and here I was, facing a similar situation. Except Blair was worse…

"Ow." I explained to her most eloquently, "Ow."

"You look like you're ready to snap in half after just a little playtime," she mused, "That's sad."

Was this happening? Was she just watching me to see how I'd react? This was playing to her? It was probably the equivalent of batting a mouse back and forth between her paws until it just fucking died. Maybe she was tempting me with a reprieve. First she would lure me into a false sense of security and then she'd mercilessly rip me to shreds!

Yeah… that ws it… so I'd be ready to leap away at a moment's notice – oh my god her hat had a hand in it! Blair's familiar, her own hat, reached out to grab me by my bicep and lifted me into the air. I was drawn in front of her so she could take a good look at me. Up, down, all over…

I was again made aware of my nudity when the wind blew through my nether regions. It was also an unpleasant reminder that the bathtub I fell into was full of hot water. I shivered. "Q-Quit staring at me, damnit!" The stutter was involuntary, I swear.

"…You're so small."

What? I stared at her, blinked, then I looked down at myself – oh my, "It's cold!" I snapped at her, "It's fucking freezing out here!"

"You don't say…?" she seemed genuinely curious, "Hmm… Did you break into my home, take off your clothes, and jump into my bathtub naked because you're a pervert or because you had something to prove?"

"That's a loaded question! That couldn't be more loaded if you tried!"

Blair seemed to consider that, bringing a hand to her chin, "Do you… have another answer, then?"

"…" I opened my mouth to reply and suddenly found myself silent. I shut it, opened it, and tried again. Looking her dead in the eyes, I took a deep breath and answered the question. "I am person with the power to turn into a flaming skeleton man who came here on a makeshift paper airplane made and launched by a traitorous soul reaper from pseudo-Heaven in the midst of a questionable civil war that may or may not have been my fault due in part to an incident involving a multidimensional tunnel cleaner going missing, a horde of nameless monsters that were once monster-fighting warriors and amnesiac rescued souls, a young boy with orange hair acquiring the powers of death later than he should have, and an incredibly untrustworthy man with a bucket hat and wood sandals who in addition to being the man to introduce me to my glorious six-wheeled blazing justice van also happened to be the only man willing to take me in after an equally questionable arrival into a world not my own due largely to making a deal with Mephistopheles to become said flaming skeleton man in order to avoid being killed by a train that some asshole pushed me in front of probably by complete accident."

The cat witch stared at me with a simple expression. "…That's…"

"That is how I ended up naked in your bathtub, yes."

Blair briefly continued staring at me before slowly nodding, "Do you like coffee?"

"…No?"

"Great!" Her voice was bright and chipper, "Let's go back to my place, I'll get you some hot chocolate – do you like hot chocolate?"

"…I love hot chocolate."

"I'll get you some of that, and while I'm finishing my bath, you can tell me that very interesting story of yours." A pause, "Slowly."

Oh my god. I'd done it. The truth had set me free! "R-Really…?" My eyes were wide and if they got any brighter, I'd be crying shooting stars. "That'd be wonderful."

-x-

A change in perspective really can make things all that much better. When I was sitting at her table with a cup of hot chocolate in front of me while she was in the bathtub, I actually had a chance to think and ask myself the important questions. For example, what precisely happened to send me here? I recalled some of what the Ghost Rider saw, more than the last jump, but that wasn't saying much.

I knew paper was involved with how I got here, but my last coherent memory was Tousen intervening in my losing battle with Amagai. Still… Tousen using Bankai after impaling my lung really saved my ass. So I kind of owed the blind, delusional, justice fetishist who didn't care about the little guys who got mowed down for the sake of his psychotic not-entirely revenge-bound crusade.

…Or not.

The second question, much more important than the previous, was rather simpler. Why was I still naked? "Hey, Blair, do you have any pants around here?"

"Check in the bedroom!" she replied from the bathtub, "I have plenty of spares!"

"Nice." I stood up and walked out of the kitchen. Blair's bedroom had a single, queen-sized bed. Something interesting to note, despite how the outside of the house looked, the inside reminded me of a very nice hotel suite, or one of those luxury apartments. There was a fire place and, on its immediate left, a walk-in closet. I stepped back, put my head against the window next to the fireplace and stared at the flat wall that encircled the house. "Uh… Blair… Your closet is…"

"Oak! I know!" I wanted to say 'violating the conservation of mass', but her response was just as good. It was really nice oak flooring and walls, not that I could see the latter past the many multitudes of pants and shirts and – oh my god, it just went on forever. Most of it was the exact same outfits: leotards, various shades of dark pants, and jackets and revealing tube-tops. Occasionally, though, I caught glimpses of – was that a bunny suit?

"Blair…" dear lord, her closet was a non-Euclidean nightmare.

The cat witch only responded with the helpful advice of, "Just grab what you need and don't stare into the void!"

How informative. I grabbed the nearest pair of pants, black denim apparently, and walked out of the closet. Putting them on, I sat down in front of my cooling hot chocolate and calmed myself with small sips. The rules of the Urahara Shoten were, apparently, the same no matter what questionable residence you found yourself in.

The fewer questions you ask, the better off you are. No time to worry about the eldritch violation in space, there are significantly more important conversations to be had! And speaking of important, Blair was singing about pumpkins. She was singing about pumpkins while bathing.

I was reminded of something. It was something very crucial; you could even call it essential. "Hey, Blair…" I trailed, "How did you fix the house?"

"Magic!" she answered, "It wasn't easy, but I managed it!"

Magic, huh? Restraining myself from asking about it, I instead posed a different question, "Was the window above your bathtub broken?"

"It was!" she replied positively, "I don't remember us breaking it, but I fixed it like everything else."

…that's because we didn't break the window. Someone else broke the window. Someone else broke the window, came into her house, and probably left because she wasn't here. Did they hear us? Did we attract attention with our fight? Maybe, maybe not… we weren't near any roads when we fought, at least I didn't think we were.

Was it possible that this night would go by without any major interruptions? I wouldn't hold my breath on that. "Well, that's good!" I took another sip of hot chocolate. "That's very good…" How the hell did she repair the house? What did she do to manage tha– wait, no, stop. These were not questions I wanted answers to.

Blair wasn't listening to what I said, though. Instead, she gave a sigh of what might have been relief and walked into the kitchen… wearing nothing but a towel. Every so often, she would brush her hair in front of me. "So, you said something about a flaming skeleton man?"

"Yeah… about that–"

"And I see you're out of the closet!"

I blinked at that and checked myself. Oh. "Just because I'm wearing women's pants, doesn't mean–"

"Not that closet, silly!" She stuck her tongue out at me, "I mean my closet."

What words could be said? "I don't have a reply for that."

She smiled, "Flaming skeleton man…?"

"He's called the Ghost Rider, the Spirit of Vengeance. And because I made a deal with the Devil, he became attached to my soul. Whenever I'm about to die and it becomes totally dark, he comes out and just… destroys everything. And ever since I've gotten him, I've been jumping from one world to the next. This is the second world I've landed in so far."

"That all sounds very interesting, but it doesn't really explain how you landed in my bathtub. Nude."

"I'm fireproof," I told her, "But my clothes aren't. And the last guy I fought used fire for his attacks. He burnt off my clothes. And… where's my sheath?"

"Sheath?" Blair blinked.

"Yeah… I left and arrived with a sword sheath, didn't I?" Blair stood up and walked to a drawer filled with forks, reaching her hand in… then her arm up to the shoulder – not asking, I will not ask – she withdrew a pair of sheathed swords. I felt a kind of connection to them.

"I'm not sure about a sheath but this is what I found that wasn't supposed to be here."

"Those are probably mine."

When I was in my last year of high school, I went through a sword phase that transitioned into a history phase that transitioned into… well I went through phases in high school. And one of those phases was a sword phase. The two sheathed swords in front of me? They were Model 1840 Cavalry Sabers – wristbreakers. But… they weren't.

They boasted silver pommels shaped like strange little boats. The handles were black and felt rubbery – held there by tight, blue wrappings. The hand guard compromised between being a Japanese tsuba and its more traditional basket. Covered in engravings of flowers, ornate washers held the guard in place.

There, wound through and around and from a small steel ring at the top of either guard was a long, bright blue and silver tassel ending in a monkey's fist knot. The sheaths themselves were mostly black and well-polished, decorated towards the silver locket and towards the equally silver chape with pink and white flowers.

My first thought upon seeing these wonderful looking swords was how fast I could pull them out to shank a fucker. This was closely followed by the realization that, yes, I now had two swords… and they were nice. "Shiny…" Blair trailed, "Can I…?" she reached to unsheathe one of the swords. In response, I pulled back.

"You may not." I told her as I put the sheaths of the blades through belt loops on my waist. I jostled them from my sitting position to be sure they wouldn't fall out and carefully readjusted my posture. Something occurred to me in the silence of the room. "Before I forget… Do you have a way to detect if someone has been in your home, Blair?"

"Hm? I do… but why does that–?"

A window shattered. Well. Shit.

-x-

One Foot on the Platform
OR: One Foot on the Train

End-37

 

[Ars Poetica]

Canon? That's a thing? Yeah. Fuck that thing.

-x-

When I shifted positions in my seat to get a better view of the bathroom, I was surprised to find that the window was still intact. Thinking on it, the crash came from the bedroom, so the window next to the fireplace was hit instead. Alright, I thought at the time, no problem. This would be their second attempt at breaking and entering, right?

To my knowledge, they already tried earlier so this time they would be doing it a little differently. That's what made sense to me, so that's what I went with. Instead, there was a sudden rush of movement and sound immediately following a loud thump on the floor. The door was burst open, almost off its hinges, and someone landed on the middle of the table.

"I AM THE GREAT ASSASSIN BLACK☆STAR AND I AM HERE TO ASSASSINATE YOU! YAHOOOO!"

…I withdrew my still steaming cup of hot chocolate and took a long, gentle sip while holding the wonderful thing in both hands. Still striking a dramatic pose after screaming his introduction to the heavens above, Black☆Star was using one end of his double chain-scythes as a microphone and both his eyes were shut. A small smirk was on his face.

At an unseen signal of some sort, the scythes and chains transformed into a rather buxom Japanese girl. Tsubaki Nakatsukasa – and boy is that a mouthful – scolded her Meister in a manner almost practiced, "What did I tell you last time about using me like a microphone? I'm a Weapon! I'm not just–"

My cup of hot chocolate was set down on the table and I spoke to the cat witch across from me, "This is very good!" my voice held cheer and warmth, "Say, Blair, where'd you get this from?"

"I'm glad you like it!" She smiled, "There's a nice marketplace about four or five miles east of here. They also sell the best milk. It's not too creamy, not too cold, just the right temperature."

"You don't say…?" I pondered that, "I'd imagine the prices are rather reasonable?"

"Well they are for me; I'm their best customer–"

"…Are you deaf or something?" Black☆Star interrupted our conversation, "I'm here to assassinate you!"

Very slowly, very calmly, I turned my head up to deliberately give him the best deadpan look I could. I brought my cup up to my lips and sipped, slowly, loudly. Then, bringing the cup back down, just as slowly I turned and locked eyes with Blair, "Did you hear that noise?" I asked her, "It sounded like the breaking wind of distant lands…"

"…distant lands?" Blair asked me, "You're not very good at poetry."

"Maybe," I conceded, "But you are great at making hot chocolate!"

"There's no need to be polite… I just bought the ingredients is all…" she waved me off.

"No, no, no! There is." My tone was quite serious, "Making hot chocolate this perfect? It is an art. I should know. I've tried. And no matter what, I just can't get it right. But you?" I gestured to her with one hand, "You have it all figured out. Well done."

"I'm really better with pumpkin juice, though."

"Really…? I've never had any, but maybe after this, if you'd be willing, I could sample some–"

"Assassin," Black☆Star pointed at himself, "Right here! I've got my awesome skills and everything."

Another pause, "…There's that wind again!" I laughed to Blair.

His patience lost, the young assassin crouched low and looked me in the eye. He looked down at the hot chocolate, and then looked back at me. Slowly, his frown turned into a mischievous grin. Black☆Star snorted, gargled a bit, and he spat in my cup.

Let me reiterate.

Black☆Star, the little shit that he is, hocked a loogie in my hot chocolate.

My nostrils flared as I took deep breaths through my nose and exhaled out my mouth. With careful movements, I set the cup down on the table in front of me and looked at the kid. Equally slowly as ever before, I turned to address Blair, "Excuse me." I pushed back my seat, stood from the table, and walked out the door.

As soon as I was standing a good thirty feet or so from the house, I turned around and met the eyes of Black☆Star. There was no wind, anymore. No leaves to be rustled about. Still shirtless, I felt some of the cold, but in the dark only left alit by the moon, I cast a quiet shadow upon the appearance of Black☆Star. All was silent.

"Are we gonna fight or something?" Black☆Star asked me, "Or do you wanna go back in there and talk about your hot chocolate with your girlfriend?" he grinned at that.

I had to remind myself that, yes, Black☆Star was a child and I thus could not strangle him to death no matter how much I wanted to. More importantly, "Before I break you over my knee, I have one question."

"Shoot."

"Why?" I asked him.

"You weren't paying attention to–"

"No." Fuck that. I didn't care about his superiority complex, I didn't care about the straw that broke the camel's back, I didn't care about the delicious hot chocolate that he so callously soiled, I cared that he was here. That Black☆Star and Tsubaki were here and they were not somewhere else. Somehow, someway, they were in the wrong place. I just showed up and something had happened to put them here. "I want to know why," I continued, "You are here."

"Oh, that's easy!" he laughed boisterously, "I'm here because I accepted the mission first!"

"…what." It can't have been that simple. There's… there's no way. Was there an equal chance that Maka and Soul could have shown up instead of him? Was there always that possibility of randomness to the whole thing? Anyone could have accepted the mission to come after Blair, and Black☆Star just happened to be the one to do it? Was that seriously it? "So… there wasn't some space-time bullcrap?" I asked him, "I mean, nothing strange influenced your choice? At all?"

Tsubaki, at least, seemed to be considering it more than her partner. Except when she shrugged helplessly, I realized something that should have been evident. Alternate worlds are not so limited to exactly what I know. There will always be differences. It was entirely likely that I just ended up in a world where Black☆Star and Tsubaki accepted the mission before Maka and Soul.

Sheer luck had put me in an alternate universe to the one I'd grown to understand in at least two different ways. So most of my knowledge of the anime and the manga and even the prequel series had just been rendered moot because two people showed up at the wrong place at the wrong time – except, to them, it was perfectly normal.

With the previous world, I had an excuse. I could blame the Dangai. Unless the Dangai's powers could significantly affect a completely different multiverse to the one that it originated from, I was left with a terrifying prospect. Not every world I visited would be entirely familiar to me. There would be little differences that added up to enormous changes. And many of those changes would have absolutely nothing to do with me.

The world did not revolve around me. My actions were not absolute. It was a thought both comforting and traumatizing as, now and only now, I realized just how fucked I was. The whole thing left the taste of hot chocolate in my mouth bitter and my alleviated headache had returned in full force.

"Come on! Let's go! I'm getting tired of all this quiet stuff!" and Black☆Star's noise was not helping matters.

I nodded. "That's fine." Less than an hour after my last fight and already my injuries from it were mostly healed. The transition between worlds must have increased my already latent healing factor. "If you can get past me, you can go at Blair." Empty, hollow words. He didn't have to beat me to go after Blair.

Really, if we hadn't met, I wouldn't have given a damn if he killed Blair or not. Blair, however, gave me hot chocolate and treated me to a pleasant conversation. Blair, despite trying to kill me over a misunderstanding, had proven to be one of the nicest people I'd met so far – the first person I'd met in this world, true, but still a very nice person… cat… witch… thing.

She gave me hot chocolate. And this little fucker messed that up for me. So I wasn't doing this to protect Blair. I was doing this for me. He spat in my drink. He made this personal. And unlike Mifune, I didn't believe in using the blunt edge. Black☆Star would receive no quarter from me.

"That'll be easy…." He pointed at me, "Maybe I should give you a handicap! I'll fight you with one eye!"

"No, no," I shook my head at him, "No, don't do that. I want to fight you at your best." I drew my swords; their silver gleam seemed to make my shadows darker in comparison. His arrogant smirk was reflected in their edges. Of their own accord my swords' tassels wrapped around my wrists and forearms to hold my grip in place. Even if he disarmed me, they would return to my hands almost instantly.

Tsubaki transformed back into her scythes and chains. Black☆Star just ran at me. I'm sure he was moving quickly. I'm sure every step he took that punted dried clouds of dirt into the air were powerful. And I'm sure, absolutely sure, that he was the slowest opponent I had ever fought.

Blair was faster, if only because of her broom. Yoruichi was the goddess of the flash. Amagai? Of course he was faster than me. Uryu was faster. Omaeda, rest his fatass soul, was faster than I was. Compared to all of them, Black☆Star was moving in slow motion.

It would be too easy. It would be too simple. Most of all… it would just be wrong to kill him. Although it took maybe three or four seconds for him to get to me, I had more than enough opportunity to compose myself. I just had to win without killing him. Basically, I just had to do the opposite of what I did with Uryu. Sort of. I could do that here.

Stepping into him with my side, went low, I brought my elbow upwards into his chin as hard as I could. The strike alone would not have been enough to put the kid into the air if it weren't for the sheer height advantage I had over him. His legs weren't touching the ground, but he still moved forward with them. His balance had been destroyed. Pushing on, I spun to deliver an attack to his now at eye-level chest with my other elbow.

Black☆Star flew a few feet before rolling on the ground and putting himself in a crouched, ready position. He watched me with incredible caution, analyzed my stance. "…You're no swordsman."

"What makes you say that?" I indulged his observation.

"Your stance." Someone spoke said to me. I knew that voice. That was Tsubaki, speaking to me through her Weapon form. "You're someone used to fighting with kicking and punching. I would say the style is some variant of Americanized Tae Kwon Do?" She stopped at that and seemed to consider something. "You know a thing or two about fencing and kendo, but you're not sure what to use here. In terms of style, you're a novice. And you've never fought with two swords before."

"Oh…?" I exhaled, "You've got me there… but so what?" It was true to a certain extent. Although I'd never fought with two swords at the same time, these were my Zanpakuto and, as such, they were parts of my very soul. Even if I didn't know how to properly fight with them, the instinct of how to fight with them was latent in their form and the knowledge of how to fight with them was slowly being built into my muscle memory… like I'd always wielded them. At the moment, that wasn't the case. But neither Black☆Star nor Tsubaki needed to know that little tidbit.

What concerned me more was that bit about Tae Kwon Do. I hadn't told anyone about that in ages. I'd always hated that place, always wanted to quit, and it wasn't until my last year of high school that I got the chance to escape from there and never look back. Sure, it was helping me now, but that didn't make it better.

Goddamn, how'd she know that?

Oh, wait, right. Tsubaki was as much of an assassin as Black☆Star, the difference being that she was the brains behind the brawn. Once again, of course she would be able to dissect the way I fought and if I had or hadn't been trained. Of course she'd be able to determine how skilled I was. She'd need that kind of ability to deter Black☆Star from fighting people way above his level.

Black☆Star grinned, "Now I've got your number," he laughed, "Beating you will be a piece of cake!"

That was what made me frown. "Are you fucked in the head or something?" I asked him, "If you fight me, you'll just get the shit beaten out of you. Knowing how I fight is great and all, but what does that matter if you're just going to let your partner carry your useless weight around?" I shook my head, "If you were as strong as you were loud, maybe you'd survive." And that was enough monologue action for me. No more of that shit. If he came at me, I'd cut the little bastard.

At the start of canon, Black☆Star was relatively weak. If ever I had a chance to beat him that chance would be now. Combined with that relative weakness and my skill at fighting opponents much better than me in all categories, I was finally feeling confident that this was a fight that would unequivocally end in my favor.

"That's wrong!" Tsubaki still shouted at me, "It's… I know he's careless… but I'd never call him useless!"

Black☆Star slowly stood up from his position on the ground and looked at me, "…I see what you're doing…" he trailed, "You punched me twice," elbowed, actually, "And won't even use your swords… because you think you're bigger than me!"

"…You'd be less wrong if you told me the Titanic was sunk by flaming pirates." I deadpanned, "I don't care how low or high either of us are, you're just pissing me off."

"So I'm just an annoyance, is that it?!" he cried out, "Well this annoyance is gonna beat your ass in!"

I knew this scene well enough. I was the strong opponent that Black☆Star had to go through to get to the witch; the roles were just swapped out for a few different people. Black☆Star had come to kill Blair and I… I was his Mifune. So it followed that, if we were reenacting that fight, he'd have Tsubaki become a 'ninja blade'. Instead, well, I was not prepared for Tsubaki to turn into the smoke bomb that obscured them both from view.

Just like that, I was in the middle of a fight against two assassins who I could not see. What a delightful position to be in…

-x-

One Foot on the Platform
OR: One Foot on the Train

End-38

 

[Ars Poetica]

Hey, everybody. Guess what. It's time for an early update. APPLAUSE.

-x-

Black☆Star and Tsubaki had an interesting technique. Because Tsubaki held the ability to enter multiple Weapon forms and not just one, her shape was subject to change rather easily. He defeated Mifune, a skilled samurai of a hundred swords, with one punch and a careful distraction.

Unfortunately, though the move might have been considered a magnificent one, I read that book, I watched that series, and I knew this plan. The slight alteration of obscuring himself and his partner from my field of vision was a little more original, sure… except, that slight alteration might as well have meant nothing to me.

I was torn between determining which of my advantages was the greatest. Was it the fact that I knew the person in front of me holding a knife was, in fact, not Black☆Star but in actuality was Tsubaki disguising herself as him? Or was it the fact that they didn't realize that I knew their plan in its entirety?

Choices, choices… I guess my biggest advantage was the simplest. I was not Mifune the samurai of the Hundred Swords Style. I was Poe R.R. Acti. And my swords could spit fire. The power of the Rider coursed through my Zanpakuto with a sudden jolt.

I stopped acknowledging the Black☆Star in front of me to turn and strike at the one coming from behind with a blazing slash, a sheet of shifting flame rolled into Black☆Star's charging form. To his credit, he kept going after being set on fire. That lasted only long enough for me to swing my other sword down in an arc of flame perpendicular to the first.

With how close Black☆Star was, he had no hope of dodging my successive attacks and even less hope of championing his way through them. He did not fall to his knees, deliberately throwing himself to the side so his body wouldn't kneel. The assassin would rather have been left prone than kneeling before someone like an inferior to someone greater.

His teeth were clenched and his hands were clenching the earth as though in search of something to help him climb up, a grip to grasp and take him out of this personal hell of defeat – losing to a novice. Or maybe he was gripping the earth with tight fists from the sheer amount of physical pain he was going through.

"I know you're probably hurt," I trailed, "But in time, I'm sure this will be a lesson to you." Black☆Star only continued to watch me with his… indigo… eyes… Hold on. Black☆Star's eyes were blue. They were a bright teal blue. So–

"[[ULTIMATE MOVE! BLACK☆STAR BIG WAVE!!]]"​

…what…!? I turned my head to see the Black☆Star I ignored come up and stun me in the back with an elbow strike. Bringing his opposite hand under, he punched me. He punched me hard. I could feel him forcing the power of his soul through my body in order to deal the maximum amount of damage; the energy ruptured and bruised organs.

I took a step forward to right my balance and turned to face Black☆Star in full. Every movement I made spoke of excruciating pain. "…What was that…?" I found myself saying. How did he know what to do in order to trick me? How did he manage to fool me with a reverse decoy trick?

"It's about time you started paying attention to me…" Black☆Star's grin felt malicious. "I figured, you weren't paying attention to me, but you were listening to Tsubaki. So if we switched places, you'd get distracted by her. And I was right!"

…he made the right plan for all the wrong reasons, in other words. He thought that I was so deliberately not paying much attention to him earlier that when he swapped with Tsubaki, I'd stop paying attention to the real him long enough for that sneak attack to go through. What kind of self-centered idiot makes a plan like that?!

Who else but Black☆Star?

I exhaled slowly and tasted iron, but did not spit the blood out. Already, my injured body was repairing itself. To others, what might qualify as a killing blow only slowed me down by a few seconds. And his gambit had cost him dearly. Tsubaki's disguise had faded and now I could see the burns that covered her body, most of it was in the first degree and she was smart enough to try rolling it out.

If I had to guess, applying what I knew of this world, she would recover in a week or some similarly small stretch of time. It probably depended on who helped her. "Your gambit might have hurt me," I admitted to Black☆Star, "But your partner seems to be knocked out of this fight."

Only then did the Meister notice his damaged Weapon, "Tsubaki! Are you alright?" He ran to her and held her with surprising gentleness. I keep forgetting, Black☆Star was a kid and his partner was no different. There was no catharsis to be found in beating these two. There was only more pain.

She tried to say something, except only gasps of pain escaped her. I took deep breaths, each inhale seeming to energize me a little further, each exhale reducing my pain. Cracking my neck and straightening my posture, I reaffirmed my stance and observed Black☆Star with a flat look.

"I've disarmed you, Meister." The choice not to say his name was deliberate. I wouldn't give Black☆Star the satisfaction of recognizing him, not for the bullshit he put me through today. Maybe later, maybe when he improved as a person. Until then, well, I just gripped my swords tighter and prepared for the inevitable, "Give up. Go home. And get that girl the help she needs." With a flourish, I pointed one of my Zanpakuto at him, "Even if you beat me, if you continue this fight, she might not live. Are you willing to take that chance?" The crushing blow would come one way or another, I supposed. If he didn't listen to me, I'd strike him down all the same. But if he did, if he was… "Or are you willing to let her die for the sake of a botched mission?"

Ignoring the fact that if Tsubaki died Black☆Star wouldn't be able to go after Blair anymore, my understanding was that a mission failure occurred when half of the team perished while the enemy team remained at a relatively high to a near-full level of strength. Even now, Black☆Star was looking at me like I was some kind of monster to have survived his attack.

…there was truth to that fear. It was just not the kind of truth he was thinking of.

Except his eyes were focused on something other than my burning swords, one shining red and the other white with heat, both exuding golden flames – he was focused on my exposed upper body. That's right, I remembered, I was only wearing pants. I wasn't wearing anything else and it had been a while since I'd actually taken a hard look at myself. The sorry sight I must have been…

"How are you alive?" he asked me. Just from that, I was fairly sure the fight was over. He wouldn't be asking me that if he intended on coming at me anymore. This lull was a sign of retreat. This would be my first decisive victory. At the same time though, it bothered me.

"…Hah…?" I wordlessly inquired, "What do you mean?"

With wide eyes he looked astonished, "You don't know?" Was there something on my face? In our fight, Black☆Star was paying more attention to how he could beat me than what I looked like – something that, frequently, I was guilty of myself. With the fight effectively over, now he could take a better look at me, now he could look at things outside my stance or how I held my swords. Those things weren't even tertiary to how I looked.

Blair had a mirror, so that was something. I'd be able to get an eyeful when Black☆Star left this place running. Thus, in response, I shook my head, "No. I don't. And I don't really care. Take your friend and leave. You lost." He almost flinched at the word. Lost. Black☆Star was no stranger to losing, but to be taken down as decisively as this?

I barely hit him. All I did was I survived his best attack and incapacitated his teammate. Though, in terms of winning conditions, one doesn't get much closer than that…

He lifted Tsubaki bridal style and turned to leave, "…Before I go, I want to hear something."

I sighed, "What?"

He turned his head around to look at me, "What's your name?"

"Me?" Sheathing my swords, I pointed one of my thumbs at my chest, "My name is Poe R.R. Acti."

Black☆Star nodded at that, "I'll remember you. And one day, I will defeat you."

…knowing him, there was a very likely possibility of that happening. Still, in the immediate future, it was not likely. I only raised a brow, "If you say so…" I trailed.

All-in-all, it wasn't a bad day at all. Not really. I mean, sure, I ended up fighting Blair… but that ended rather well for us! And when I fought Black☆Star, I didn't have to make some kind of incredibly hard decision – I didn't have to kill him, Tsubaki was very likely to live, and… Shibusen would still be sending Meisters and Weapons after Blair.

…Shit.

-x-

"…So…" Blair drawled, "Flaming skeleton man?"

I nodded, "Right."

Looking at myself in Blair's mirror, it was easier to see why Black☆Star was so terrified. Or maybe he was simply awed…? Whenever I healed, barely anything was left to indicate I'd ever been hurt. Except, following my fight with Amagai, when I appeared in this world, the injuries followed me. Except, they sort of didn't… what I mean to say is, there were scars along the areas I had been struck.

I traced one former wound with my hand before feeling my back for other rigid lines. The scar where my lung was impaled could easily be seen on either side of me. Discolored blots of skin from stab wounds, wide lines from slashes… and when I really thought about it, these were not injuries a human being was supposed to be able to survive. If someone else had gotten this hurt, this badly… they'd be dead.

There was a very real likelihood I had the Ghost Rider to thank for surviving those injuries and, not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but… I kind of wish nothing was left behind after those attacks. Parts of my front and back felt numb to the touch now and the scars themselves weren't very attractive… I'd never put stock in my appearance before, but right now, at this moment, I envied my past self.

"I do have men's pants, you know?" she asked me, "Boxers, too." Blair was rummaging through her eldritch closet, "Any requests?"

Was it worth asking why she had so much stuff in that closet of hers? For that matter, was it worth asking how? Probably not on both accounts… it would be in my best interests to just let sleeping dogs lie. "Boxers, jeans, uh… a black hoodie," I felt a pang of nostalgia, "Do you have a white work apron in there? And, uh, socks? And sneakers?"

She poked her head out and looked at me, sitting on the bed across from the mirror. "Those are some pretty specific requests… Do you know what size you are, at least?"

"Uh…" I'd lost weight since a little over two weeks ago. Before I left Bleach, my clothes were feeling looser on me. "No. I don't."

She smiled at me, "Alright, then. I guess we'll be heading out later." She thought about something, "But it's too late to go out now, so… Tomorrow?"

Was I ready for a laughing sun?

…fuck it. After today, I was ready for just about anything.

"Yeah, sure. Let's do that." I shrugged, "Any plans for where I get to sleep?"

She giggled. For a moment, I felt unrivaled terror. "In the bed, silly!"

"…That's your bed."

"I can share for one night." She smiled at me, "Unless you're nervous about being with a girl…?" the way she posed, the way she bounced, it was enough to make me more than uncomfortable. I was never good with girls. I was worse with girls who were this flirtatious.

…Blair was a cat, though. So her idea of flirtatious probably equated to "do this, get free food" and so it would be done. If I thought of it like that, like I was going to sleep in the same bed as a cat, then it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe. Possibly. I hoped.

"Okay then." I conceded, "One night shouldn't be that bad."

The pillow wall was worthless. Blair was clingy. I did not sleep well.

-x-

*42-42-564*

"Oh my… I wasn't expecting a call from you!"

"It's an emergency! Tsubaki, she's…"

"I'm sending someone right away, Black☆Star. Just tell me what happened."

"We went to fight the witch, but she had a bodyguard or something… and…"

"Hmm… Let me see… there is a team in your area and a town not far away from either of you… I suggest you meet with them there for your return and recovery. More than that, is there anything else that happened? Anything worthy of note?"

"The man we fought… He wasn't natural."

"…Natural?"

"He was… he was wrong… I don't know, he was just…"

"Maybe when Tsubaki recovers, we'll have a better idea of what or whom you fought. Until then, let's focus on getting you home. There's always next time, Black☆Star. Don't let this stop you."

"…heh. Who're you kidding? As soon as Tsubaki's feeling better we're gonna train to kick that guy's ass!"

"Glad to hear it, Black☆Star. I'll see you soon."

"Yeah… thanks, Death. Later."

*-click-*

-x-

One Foot on the Platform
OR: One Foot on the Train

End-39

 

[Ars Poetica]

Can someone please tell me how the flying fuck it's feasible for the DWMA to do what it's supposed to?

-x-

Waking up next to Blair was an interesting experience. I was someone who preferred to sleep alone and away from other people, someone who struggled to rest while surrounded by the sounds of others. At the Urahara Shoten, that was never an issue. Despite the traditional appearance of the house, the rooms were incredibly quiet and I had my own futon and space.

That was not the case here.

Blair was clingy. Blair slept primarily in the nude. And contrary to the bizarre popular belief of the fandom, waking up next to her naked body was not an ideal experience. First, she was clingy in an uncomfortable way. By uncomfortable, I mean she had one hand on my lower stomach making attempts at squeezing and the other wrapped around my face. Our legs were tangled together and she was drooling on the back of my neck.

Second, Blair tended to sleep-talk. What did that mean? It meant that Blair would enter elaborate half-conversations about the merits of salmon over tuna in the dead of night. And when I say elaborate, I mean elaborate. She was using measurements to describe the genetic superiority of one over the other depending on their respective possible dishes. The topic would be interesting if I had any interest in fish. I did not. It was just annoying.

Third, Blair snored. When she wasn't talking or wasn't being mercifully silent, she was snoring loud enough to deter me from attempting to rest. If I was standing outside her house, I could probably have heard her. Since I was right next to Blair for the entire night that made listening to her the only thing I could do.

Fourth, and most importantly, Blair mostly assumed a human form. Let me explain. Blair's diet, as a cat, consisted of fish, milk, water, and various birds. When later I went through her kitchen, I found that we had very similar diets. This would be a benefit if it weren't for the fact that the foods she ate made human beings gassy. While I don't know what the score would be for cats, for humans I was well aware of what it meant.

It meant that I was subject to an accidental Dutch oven whenever she shifted in her sleep to cling in a different, more awkward position than the previous position. And between the sounds of her sleep talking and snoring, the feel of her groping grasps and sticky drool, and the smell of her… well, this was definitely an attempt at rest due to necessity more than anything else.

So I did not 'wake up' next to Blair. That would imply I slept. Instead, when Blair woke up, I shut my eyes and waited for her to get out of the bed and do whatever her morning routine was. Slowly, my eyes drifted to the clock in her room and – fuck me, Blair the cat was an early riser.

It was five a.m. It was still dark outside. And Blair was just getting up. That wasn't fair. Cats sleep all the time, right? That's pretty much the only thing they do outside of hunting mice. Cats sleep. Blair was not sleeping, though. Blair was wide awake, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed – well, not bushy-tailed, but her cat ears were perked up.

My journey into the land of sleep, however? That could finally begin… my eyes were already shut. All that was left, all I had to do now, was just wait until my slumber could properly commence – "Wake up sleepy head!" Blair honest-to-god glomped my body from outside the bed, with a running leap at my still-covered body she bounced up and down, "Come on! We're heading out to get you some clothes! Let's go!"

She was more like a really annoying puppy than a cat with the way she was acting. For obvious reasons, that kind of pissed me off. "'ts too early…" I groaned out. She stopped her bouncing and landed in front of me, somehow already clothed. "…gota sleeeeep…"

"Let me see," she thought about it very thoroughly. "Oh! I know what'll wake you up!" she twirled her finger, "Pumpkin, pumpkin…" I was out of that bed faster than a lightning strike and already searching for a shirt to put on. "Pumpkin juice!" I paused.

My head turned to face her. She was holding a glass of what I could only assume was pumpkin juice and giving me a bright and happy smile. "…what kind of monster are you?" I wondered aloud, the shirt I'd grabbed was halfway on.

"I am a cat!"

I took a deep breath, "…Yes. Yes you are." What else could I say in response to that?

-x-

The sky was blue. The clouds were white. The clothing store we went to was boring. The sun was laughing.

…One of these is not like the others…

"So, Blair, uh…" What to say, what to say… there was an awkward silence as she waited for me outside the fitting room, "Yeah. What the hell."

"Nyeah?"

"Everything. Just… just everything," I sighed, "Why is the sun smiling?" Let's start with the basics. I know I said I wouldn't ask questions. Even so, the sun was fucking laughing and smiling. The whole thing is weird. And I kind of wanted an answer from one of the citizens of this world.

Blair was quiet for a minute, "Oh, that's easy, I have no idea!" And I suppose that this also applied to the moon, then. It didn't necessarily explain the moon's sinister nature in the manga, but still.

"Oh." I nodded at that, placing a new shirt on, "Neat." Something occurred to me, "And that's common knowledge around here?"

"It is!" she confirmed.

"Okay…" Nobody knows. I bet Death knows. I slowly stepped out of the room, "Next question, can we get my work apron? Or is this the best we'll be getting?" I gestured at myself. Hoodie, jeans, shoes, and a T-shirt… simple, not too hard to get, and it all fit – overall, a better position than running around nude, half-nude, or just wearing women's pants.

Blair gave me a thumbs-up, "Well, you don't look bad. Um… but… do you know where we need to go for a work apron?"

"You mean you don't?" I asked, "I've never been to this place before. I mean, I'm sure we're in America…?" she nodded, "I'm sure we're in America, but I don't know this state, any of its cities – its towns and landmarks are a mystery to me. Uh…" I thought about it, "Actually, what state am I in?"

"California!" she answered with a bright smile.

…oh, yay, I was on the opposite side of the country. What was this, the sunshine state? No, that was Florida. "Right, I don't know this state very well. So, uh, if you don't know where to get a work apron, then I'm out of ideas."

"Do you really need it?"

"My last work apron had pockets. I like pockets. I don't have that many pockets right now. Ergo," I waved my hand, "I want a work apron." It wasn't hard to understand, I'm sure. Everything I wore had lots of pockets. Did I ever use most of those pockets? No. But I always made sure that I had a lot of pockets on whatever I was wearing.

…is there a word for that? Was I some kind of pocket-philiac?

She thought about that, "Well… if you really need one… I'll ask around. First, let's pay for that. Then, we can meet back here in an hour! Don't go too far, okay?"

"…I'm not a child."

Blair stuck her tongue out at me and didn't say much else.

-x-

Did I enjoy my stay in this town? Sure, I guess. It wasn't awful, far from it. There weren't that many bathrooms, though. 'Paying customers only' here, and 'out of order' there… Finding somewhere to take a piss is what led me to the center of the relatively small town in California.

Moreover, it is what led me to a park bench in front of a porta potty. I sat down next to the kid waiting for an opportunity to get in. When I turned and got a good look at him, I saw… oh. He was an albino. And he had an interesting headband. And – fuck me that was Soul "Eater" Evans.

I was in the presence of the main fucking character. Well, not the main character, there were at least eight of those, but he was the character the series I was in was named after and I really should have learned that treating the worlds I was in as series was a bad idea back in Bleach but I digress – "Sup." I said to him.

He took notice of me, "Hey." And then he focused on the door to the porta potty again.

"So…" My brain was running as hard and fast as it could in search of something to say to him. I'd initiated small talk. Now we needed to talk about something. Something small, something totally insignificant – "Are you an albino?"

"…Excuse me?" Now I had his full attention.

"I'm asking because normally I'd determine you to be an albino based on your pale complexion, white hair, and red eyes – but I'm friends with a talking magical cat, so, I wasn't sure." I gave a nervous smile.

He narrowed his eyes a little, "…Are you an asshole?"

"…Hah?"

"See, I'm asking because normally I'd determine you to be an asshole based on your half-shaven mug, those cheap blue jeans, and because you just called me an albino – but I work for Death, so, I wasn't sure."

"…oh, wow. Okay, I probably deserved that."

"…" Soul held his gaze for a moment before breaking it and looking down with a sigh, "No, that's… Look, I've been on edge recently, I fucked up something important, and now we're here to pick up a friend who's not doing too well."

"I hope your friend is doing alright."

"Yeah."

"You, uh… You wanna start over?"

"Sure."

"Okay," I offered him my hand, "My name is Poe R.R. Acti. My friends call me Ars."

"'Sup, Poe." He shook my hand, "I'm Soul." He let go and brought his hand down, "So, what're you doing here?"

"Getting a new set of clothes with a girl I just met."

"Is it bad?"

"I've dealt with worse."

"Huh."

"…You in to any sports?"

"Dunno." He shrugged, "I'm fine with basketball."

"Neat. I used to do Tae Kwon Do, myself…"

"Used to?"

"I quit. Didn't like the place I was at, felt I stayed there too long, was heading for college…"

"That sucks, man. Did you find anything else to do?"

"Not really. I still work out, sort of. Um," I clicked my tongue. What else did I do…? "I ski."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm actually pretty good at it." I told him, "My family, we went up to Vermont every year since I was three."

"Vermont?" his eyes didn't quite boggle, but they widened by a bit, "From here?"

"Nah," I waved him off, "From New Jersey. The whole trip isn't bad. It's quiet up there. I honestly wouldn't mind living in the mountains or on an island… somewhere quiet, you know?"

"I hear ya," he looked at the porta potty's door again, "So, uh, skiing?"

"Eh," I shifted my hand from side to side, "It has its ups and downs."

"That's cool."

I just nodded, "Yeah…" I made to check my watch, but then I realized I didn't have a watch anymore. "Uh, how long is that guy going to be in there?"

"Girl."

"Huh?"

"A girl's in there."

"Friend of yours?"

"My partner."

"Partner…" I trailed.

Soul sighed, "I'm a Weapon. She's my Meister."

"Oh!" I exclaimed, "You're a Weapon…"

Soul's next sigh felt almost pained, "Ah… yeah. From the DWMA."

"From the DWMA… That explains the bit about working for Death," my voice held false marvel as I nodded along, "That must be exciting!"

"…Yeah… exciting."

"Am I annoying you?"

"Nah, it's fine," He shrugged, "I'm used to it."

"The praise? It doesn't get to you? At all?" I raised my eyebrows, "Wow… You're a stronger person than me."

"What makes you say that?"

"If I accomplished anything, I'd probably be bragging to the heavens about it." I admitted.

"How's me being a Weapon an accomplishment?"

"Well, nobody else in your family was a Weapon before you, right?"

"Yeah, that's true…"

"And now that you are a Weapon… Well, you're aiming to be a Death Scythe! They're rare for a reason. Because, well, If being a Weapon isn't an accomplishment, just trying at the journey is an accomplishment!"

"…wait, what?"

"Yeah! Starting something is an accomplishment in itself to take pride in," I told him, "And not taking pride in it, that's being humble." I nodded at my wisdom, "I mean, I don't think I've ever accomplished anything really worthy of note in my entire life! Ad I don't let that bring me down, I revel in it!"

"…That's kind of pathetic."

"Well, you say that now, but if you failed as often as I do, it wouldn't seem that way."

"…You're not changing my opinion on this, man."

"…No." I exhaled, "No, I'm not." I looked up. I wonder when the porta potty door was open… It didn't matter much, I guess, except Maka Albarn was looking at me with a wide-eyed expression of fear.

"Oh, hey Maka!" Soul greeted her, "Uh… Are you alright?"

No, Soul. No she was not.

-x-

One Foot on the Platform
OR: One Foot on the Train

End-40

 

[Ars Poetica]

What... What is even happening anymore, I don't even...

-x-

Mifune was terrifying. He was a man whose soul had become powerful through time and effort, what took others years of specialized training he managed to force. In the anime, he fought and killed Black☆Star's father. In the manga, it took every ounce of a much more powerful Black☆Star to defeat him – but that was hardly a gauge for strength. I beat that kid without technically beating him.

It was not a measure of Mifune's strength to compare him to an opponent he would not throw everything he had at. Howevr, it said something of Mifune's abilities as a samurai that, even though he fought two individuals he thought of as children, he was still able to beat them into the dirt. How severe was the beating?

Well, judging from Maka's wide-eyed stare like she was looking past me and into something unfathomable, I could only assume that the beating was bad enough that Maka acquired her ability to see souls. The infamous Soul Perception, it was an ability she would use frequently throughout the series and she had gotten it early.

Moreover, Maka was using that power to perceive my soul. She was looking at the soul represented with a black spirit ribbon. She was looking at a soul that, when identified, drove the Shinigami of Bleach to determine I had to die one way or another.

Here, it was a little different. Here, Maka probably perceived my soul not as something to be annihilated but instead as something to run away from really fast. This information would have been incredibly useful before I offered to help her and approached. I made it all of two steps before she screamed.

Babbling incoherently she was torn between trying to run and trying to hide, finding neither was particularly available she gripped Soul who, at the moment, was attempting to console her… he was unsuccessful. "H-Hey, Maka…!" she was gripping his shoulders tight and her eyes were affixed on me. Well, not really on me exactly, she was looking at my soul and couldn't tear her eyes away from it.

"I, uh," I trailed and started backing off, "I should probably go…"

"What?!" Soul snapped at her, "She needs help! You can't just walk away–" and he stopped suddenly. The pain on his face from being gripped too tightly had vanished and he was looking at me, contemplating something, "How did you know?"

"Know? Know what?" I chuckled nervously, "I don't know anything, really."

"You knew nobody in my family were Weapons," his tone was dangerous, "And you knew I was aiming to be a Death Scythe."

"A lucky guess?" I suggested, "And every Weapon aims to be a Death Scythe–"

Maka was taking deep breaths. Soul kept going with his pseudo-interrogation, "That's not true." He contradicted me, "Not every Weapon is cut out for being a Death Scythe, and not every Weapon tries for it. I can buy that you got one good guess, but two's just strange…"

"Doesn't it go once is a fluke, twice a coincidence?" I tried.

"What're those swords for?" he pointed at the blades hanging from my jeans, "And why did my partner get so freaked out about you?" He stepped back with her, Maka was behind him and placed a greater distance from me. Soul made sure to position his body in the way, "Who are you?"

"I told you my name," I raised my hands in what I hoped was a placating manner, "And I'm just here to go to the bathroom." I nodded towards him, "Okay? I just want to pee."

"…Soul…" Maka panted, "He… This man… he…" she was coming out of her panic attack, "Kishin."

"Aaand that's my cue to leave," I gave them both a thumbs-up with one hand even as I turned to leave, "You guys have fun, I'm gonna go find a different bathroom, get my work apron, and go home – not necessarily in that order. Uh… have a nice day! Yeah." With that, I ran the fuck out of dodge and didn't look behind me.

-x-

"Oh!" Blair exclaimed, surprised at my ragged appearance from running the length of the entire town to get to our meeting place, "You look… tired."

"Yeah, that's awesome, hey, look, Blair – is that a work apron?" I took the cloth out of her hands, "Holy shit it's a work apron, thank you, Blair. You are a lifesaver – wait, no, don't mind that." I stopped myself and quickly thought of how to summarize the situation, "Look. I might have sort of maybe possibly pissed off some students from the DWMA. Think we could get the hell out of here? Like right now, maybe?"

"The DWMA? Well what did you do to make them so angry?"

"One of them looked inside me and saw something she didn't like."

"…Oh my–"

"She is fourteen, Blair. Get your head out of the gutter! Now I just need your help to get me out of here and–"

"I don't know…" the witch cat, or was it cat witch, said to me, "This seems more like a 'you' problem."

Well, if she wouldn't lift me out of there, I had other options available to me. "One of them can turn into a scythe!"

"…Really?" she asked me, "Can he?"

I nodded frantically, "Oh yeah! Biiiig scythe! The boy, uh, Soul? Scythe. Him. He turns into one."

"Show me," She purred. Apron in hand, I pointed behind me just as Maka and Soul rounded an alley and entered the main street. Blair grinned at the sight of the giant scythe and began conjuring an explosive pumpkin.

I could have stayed and helped. I probably should have stayed and helped. But I knew how this fight would end. I saw how it ended in canon, so a fight between them now would end about the same… sure, Blair would be 'killed', but she'd get out alive. And as for Maka and Soul, well, this would be a good distraction.

Getting my work apron on while running was a hell of a task, I assure you. I was forced to take off my hoodie and pack the thing under one arm to do it, but in the end? When I went through an alley and snuck in through the back entrance of a closed up store that sold instruments, I felt complete.

I shut the door and barricaded it with everything I could find. My swords were too high profile to use at the moment, I needed something more discreet. Searching around, I found my way to a guitar rack and grabbed the heaviest, thickest one I could find. Soul Eater was a slapstick universe, so if I bludgeoned someone with this and made it funny, maybe they'd get out of it?

…yeah, I'll admit, not the best justification to what I was doing here, but still. The other option was cutting a little girl and her friend to pieces. Naturally, I didn't want to do that. I might have been a kind of prick, but I wasn't that awful. Or, at least, I didn't think I was that awful.

I waited for the sounds of fighting outside to die out and, even then, I didn't dare try to leave my position from behind the metal framed cashier's desk. The glass display case right in front of the thing was kind of scratched and cracked. There was webbing in the corner of the ceiling right above me. A small, transparent yellow sign hung from the glass front door. My eyes squinted as I took a better look at it.

ᗡƎИMƎᗡИOƆ​

"…C… O… N…" I trailed off, "Ah, fuck, the building's condemned." Go figures that I would pick to hide in the one building in a populated, hustling, bustling town that was likely to collapse at any second. And it still had all its instruments, albeit in various states of disrepair. And I checked the register. It was locked, so I hit it with my left hand until it popped open. "Oh, hey," There was still money inside!

…There was still money inside…

That was… odd…

Generally, when a building was condemned, most anything of value would be removed from it. If a store was deemed condemned, at least the money would be removed from the register. But this place just felt abandoned. Now why the hell was that? With a little fine-tuning, pardon the pun, this place could be up and running within a few weeks. Who'd just leave a full register behind like that?

I pocketed the stolen money and continued to hide. And hide… and hide… I couldn't stay here forever. And every so often, I'd hear more fighting outside. There was no way I had caused the whole city to collapse into chaos, so if I had to guess, Soul and Maka's fight had ended and started up again multiple times.

After losing to Mifune, I guess this was how they felt atonement of a sort was possible. I mean, they lost to one witch and now another had shown up. Unlike the previous witch, they'd have no moral quandaries with offing this one. More than that, nobody was defending Blair and I was nowhere to be found, so…

Wow, I was starting to feel kind of guilty about leaving Blair like that. Despite that, I still did not move from my hiding spot. There was too much risk, I reasoned. There was a very real likelihood that these kids would come after me. And I, personally, wanted to avoid that.

My hands clenched the neck of the heavy guitar. Any second now, I was sure. First, they would defeat Blair. And then, after feeling that disappointment, they'd come for me. Or, at least, I hoped that was the case… I asked myself when I got to this town. I asked how long I was here.

When I arrived with Blair… that was hours ago. I could practically feel the sun starting to set. The sounds of fighting had long died, but I did not move from where I was. I needed to be sure. I needed to be certain there was nothing waiting for me outside to kill me, to gut me, to dissect me, to destroy me…

…To eat me.

That was what I was afraid of. I was legitimately scared that something out there would eat me alive. Why, though? I was stronger and faster than most of the people here, sort of. I was used to fighting stronger and faster opponents than what they'd be able to put up against me. I could take just about whoever they sent at me.

But I was not emboldened by that thought. I was only worried. Because there were forces in this world I could not hope to win against, Death being one of them. Could I defeat Asura? Could I defeat the biggest, most dangerous foes the world had to hit me with? Probably not… no… definitely not…

Waiting around was leaving me with a sense that something terrible was imminent. If I had a way to check and see if things were safe outside, then maybe I'd give leaving a shot– Air raid sirens echoed throughout the town, loud as can be. The noise of the thing left me with a headache. Past the sound of blaring sirens, a recorded voice announced a pre-made speech.

"Warning! A Kishin has been located within your area! Please exit calmly and head to your local shelter!"

It sounded like some the voice from one of those old 'duck and cover' video. The recorded message left me with a kind of weight in the pit of my stomach. What was happening here? When did this occur in the manga or the anime? Did I miss something? What… what was this?!

…It was a case of the unobserved content. In Bleach, there were other Soul Societies and Devils, so here there were probably international policies in place to dealing with Kishin-level threats or their equivalents, whatever those equivalents might be. In this case, it was me.

They were evacuating the city to deal with me. Something was not right here. This… This was wrong… Everything about what was happening here felt wrong… My head felt like it was spinning off my shoulders, the world was blurring. Someone stood at the entrance of the damaged store.

…there was no 'Condemned' sign. There were no spider webs. There was no sign of anything that I saw. My eyes were squint again to get a better look at the person standing there and felt my body swerve a little. My hands reaffirmed their grip on the instrument in my hand.

What was I looking at here? Who was that? That as…

…ah shit.

"I thought for sure you'd fall for that," drawled a man covered in stitches and wearing a lab coat, "But I guess you're a little too smart for it."

Stein.

-x-

One Foot on the Platform
OR: One Foot on the Train

End-41

 

[Ars Poetica]

Quoth the Raven, gimme moar! An early update for early birds.

-x-

What… What the hell was this? Why was he here?! He was too early! He was too soon! And what the hell was he talking about?! A breath, I needed to steady myself. My hands were gripping the neck of the guitar tight enough to draw thin red lines along my fingers.

"Yup," I nodded, "Too smart. That's right." The other man wasn't carrying a Weapon, at least not that I could see, so my chances of getting out of this were already rising significantly. "…Mind explaining what I got was too smart for first?"

Stein wasn't smiling. He glared at me through his glasses and watched my every move, "Drop the bass."

"…what."

"The bass. Drop it."

I considered what to say to that. Well, it was Stein. He was used to fighting enemies stronger than him… maybe? Honestly, my memories of his capabilities were kind of pathetic. There certainly was a divergence between the anime and the manga, but there was a very real difference between what he might have been capable of and what he could actually do. The former was speculation on educated guesses; the latter was… it was just even less reliable.

Still, Stein was asking me to do something and chances were if I didn't he'd probably kill me, so… "Untz-Untz-Untz-Untz," I nodded my head to a steady beat.

"…What are you doing?"

I stopped, "…Dropping the bass?"

Stein sighed, "The guitar. Drop the guitar."

"Oh." I nodded slowly, "Now, see, that makes more sense–" I charged the guitar with the power of the Rider and threw it with all my might. The thing strummed through the air and swung towards the man, body first neck just behind. I turned and ran for the door I barricaded, drawing my swords and empowering them with fire.

I heard the sound of a bass guitar's last song as it was punched to pieces by Stein. The alley I'd previously run out of was filled in the debris of shattered instruments and a burning, destroyed back door. Hanging a left, I made no effort to examine the area around me. I just ran.

Stein was right behind me for every step of the way. Having my swords out to cut past obstacles was slowing me down, I realized. There was a better way to get out of this. I sheathed my swords and put the power of the rider into my new sneakers. Blackened and burning, I reinforced them with as much power as I could manage and ran towards the brick wall of a nearby building.

I was running up the side of a building and as awesome as that was I had more pressing matters in the form of Stein as he started jumping from one wall to another, forcing momentum up to follow me. When I stood on a rooftop overlooking the small down, Stein was on the opposite side.

He discarded his white lab coat and lifted his fists, putting himself in a ready position. "You do not want to fight me." Stein said to me, "Just lay down your arms and come with me. You're not in the right mind."

"Right mind…?" I marveled aloud, "What the fuck're you on about?!" I laughed at him, "You're the one chasing me!" Right mind my ass! My life was on the line and this guy had the nerve to tell me that I was going nuts? How about no? If anyone was insane, if anything was really wrong, it was him. I mean, he made me see that stuff that wasn't there before, right?

I pulled my swords out of my sheath and redistributed the Rider's power. I felt myself smile, a thin and wide grin. This guy wanted to hurt me. He wanted to kill me… so I'd just get him first. I would gut him. And he'd bleed all over the place and then I would get away and be free of him trying to stop me from–

What did I want to do?

Oh, right, swords. My first swing felt unbalanced, lacking coordination, but when Stein moved to counter me with a punch, I was able to spin back away from that. With the same sword that missed, I aimed for his back – a stream of fire was released just as he moved to dodge the blade, burning him.

He did not shout or cry in surprise or fear, which was a shame because I really wanted to watch him squirm – I'll call him Glasses, Glasses needed to squirm because he tried to hurt me and now he needed to burn. I spun to swing my other sword at him and he ducked, striking my arm.

It hurt, but not enough to stop me from throwing a punch assisted with my blazing pommel. He rolled back to avoid the attack, a thin cannon of fire emerging from my fist and going no further than a single foot. What a pathetic attack – I'd have to try harder to hurt him.

I let go of my blades and commanded the tassels to adjust their positions. On wings of fire, I clapped a hand over the man's ear and plunged his head down into my knee before he could recover. This was easy! Hurting this man… it was so simple! He was in pain, but still coherent. My other arm was already swinging around.

Right here, I could just decapitate him and– what the fuck was I doing?

I stopped. Why did I stop? Was I doing something wrong? Hell yes I was, this was not how I worked.

Glasses had threatened us. Glasses wanted us dead. Stein could be reasoned with. Stein wanted to talk.

I was powerful! I could kill him now and bathe in his – I am not strong enough to cheat Death.

…What… What was…? This was wrong.

I… What about the…

Stein adjusted the giant screw in his head. I wobbled on my feet, suddenly weak at the knees. My eyes were wide, but I knew I wasn't looking at anything in particular. Nausea struck me, vertigo left me gagging. I collapsed. Stein approached me as I kneeled and looked me in the eye.

"For what it's worth…" he trailed, "You'll be in good hands–" I threw up in his face and collapsed.

-x-

When I woke up, it was to a white room. Stein was sitting in front of me. A desk separated us. A mirror was to our left. This was an interrogation. Was this an interrogation? I didn't want to be interrogated, I didn't have anything to say, I mean this was – "Before we start," Stein began, "You need to calm down."

"I am calm!"

"No. No you're not." He sighed and adjusted his screw. I felt ill, suddenly. "Doing this? It adjusts my soul's wavelength. You are so attuned to other souls that these minor adjustments are causing you to hallucinate."

I was… I what…? "That's crazy! I don't give a fuck about other people!" That made sense.

"I was hoping that adjusting my wavelength would just knock you out, I thought you just found a counter for it. I was wrong. Now, it is important that you relax."

"I don't need to relax! You need to relax! You're the one about to gut me like a fish!"

Stein took a deep breath and adjusted the giant screw in the side of his head. He turned the thing back, then forward, then back even further. The restraints in the bed dug into my wrists and ankles, another set along my biceps strained. Two more on my legs were stretched to their limits as I struggled.

I foamed at the mouth and screamed at him. Stein was a monkey. He was wearing a nice hat. The ceiling turned purple. "Whoops, turned it too far…" the monkey trailed before spinning the hat with two fingers and I blinked with sudden clarity.

"…what… what happened…? I… Something about my soul…?"

"We received a report about a possible Kishin from one of our Meisters. Following our immediate response, we noted that she and her Weapon were engaged with some kind of magic user," not 'Witch', I noticed. So Maka and Soul probably beat Blair. Or, also likely, Maka discerned Blair wasn't really a Witch. Or, another possibility, Stein determined Blair wasn't a Witch. It didn't matter. "It was easy to find your Soul. I already explained what followed, and I have a feeling you're starting to remember it for yourself."

"…Yeah… Yeah, I… uh…" I coughed, "Sorry about that. My bad."

"I have some questions," Stein told me, "And depending on your answers, I might be able to help you."

I bit my lower lip. Stein had a penchant for dissecting things and experimenting on people, but to my knowledge he'd never done so malignantly. Well, at least, I hoped not. If Stein was legitimately offering his help, I could certainly use it. If Stein genuinely wanted to assist me, well… what did I have to lose at this point?

And it wasn't like I hadn't dealt with worse people at this point. Urahara, for example, was easily a worse person to deal with than Stein. At least Stein tried to be a nice guy. Urahara was just an all-round asshole… who gave me a six-wheeled super van… I wasn't a good judge of character. I was a terrible judge of character.

At the end of the day, I guess I chose to believe what Stein was offering because the alternative was to just lay here, strapped to a hospital bed. It was my only chance to get out, and it was an opportunity to leave on good terms with the DWMA – something of a rare achievement for individuals in my position. It wasn't just better than nothing, it was the best I was going to get.

I exhaled slowly, calm for the first time in what felt like far too long, "Okay. Shoot."

-x-

Stein leaned back in an office chair with wheels at the ends of its legs. At any moment, I was worried he'd just fall over. "Flaming skeleton man…" he mused, "It, at least, correlates with what you said to the Witch Cat Blair."

"Is that what she's technically called?" I asked, "A Witch Cat?"

"Magical Cat is most appropriate, technically." Stein shrugged, "It's not like we have a precedent for this, though."

"Of course," I nodded, "So, um, about me…" I knew Blair would be fine. The most concerning thing, the most pressing matter was how they would deal with me now that they knew what I could feasibly do – it was something of a mystery.

"I'd like to know about how you acquired this… Madness of yours, though."

"My what?"

"In order for you to have been so deeply affected, you needed to have at least some semblance of Madness in your soul. I checked. The sheer amount is… it's oppressive how much Madness you actually have."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"…Generally, I would call it a bad thing. But, with you, I just can't tell. You're high functioning, relatively unharmed, and unaltered except for a deep sympathy towards the wavelengths of others. More concerning is your strength."

"What about it?"

"How did you get so strong?" He asked me, "Who taught you?"

"Oh, that's easy…" I chuckled, "My swords are physical parts of my soul!"

"…what."

"Yeah. They're a part of me, and I'm a part of them. Same goes for the sheaths, I think." I tilted my head towards the mentioned weapons, balanced against a cabinet, "I'm glad you kept them in my line of sight, I… actually, I have no idea how I'd act if I was separated. It'd probably suck."

"…And who taught you?"

"I was mostly trained by a magical cat."

"Blair."

"Oh, you got her name? Well, no, it wasn't Blair. It was the other one."

"What other one?"

"The one from another dimension!" I tried to shrug but was stopped by my bindings and settled for a simple smile instead, "Didn't I tell you I was a dimensional traveler?"

"…You told me you were a 'flaming skeleton man' before apologizing for attempting to, 'El Kabong' me with a flaming guitar." His deadpan was met with the most innocent smile I could muster, "And now you're telling me… that you're from another dimension."

"Yup!"

Stein sighed, "I'll be outside. There are other things I need to get to and we can talk later when you're feeling a little more serious."

"I'm being serious! I really am a flaming skeleton man who travels between dimensions – wow, I just realized how crazy that sounded – but it's the truth! Flaming skeleton man! Dimensional hopper! Right here? That's me."

"Alright," Stein gently raised a hand, "Let's suppose you're telling the truth. That would mean you saw something either right before or right after your arrival, something with properties similar to a Kishin. And that thing you saw, it most likely affected you adversely." His glasses reflected the lights above us, "Did you see something like that?"

–a figure with needle teeth and hollow eyes standing at the black, wood door–

"No." I said to him. As far as I knew, that was the complete and honest truth.

Stein nodded, "So your Madness has no origin, then? It doesn't come from anywhere?"

"Why not?"

"The only thing that can come from absolute nothingness is," he tried to find the word, "I suppose you'd call it omnipotence? A god-like being could come from absolutely nothing, for it is powerful enough to reject its own lack of an existence. But not even Lord Death operates on that level."

"It's not like weirder things haven't happened." I pouted, "It's possible. Sort of. Maybe."

"I doubt it." Stein finished our talk with a shake of his head, "For now, I wash my hands of you. We'll talk later. Until then, I will leave you in the hands of our capable nurse." The door was opened. I turned my head, the only thing I could really do at the moment.

All of my strength was necessary to prevent a panic attack. I knew that face. I knew that person standing at the open door. She smiled at Stein, "Is this the…?"

"He is." Stein nodded to her, "Just make sure he doesn't get out of those restraints, sedate him if he panics, and if all goes well, he'll be out of here within a day… or two." He looked at me, "Be on your best behavior. This is who will be watching you."

She smiled at me and gave a slight bow, "Hello, there," standing firm she looked to Stein, "And you've been a little rude to our guest, haven't you? He has a name, yes?" she chastised Stein while asking me.

"…yeah. My name is Poe." I said very simply, choosing my every word carefully.

"Okay, that's a lovely name. One of my favorite poets is named 'Poe'!" she clasped her hands, "Are your other names 'Edgar' and 'Allen'?"

"They are not, no. But my friends call me 'Ars'."

"Then, if it doesn't offend you," she walked closer, each step clacking against the floor, "May I call you 'Ars'?"

"…" I opened my mouth to reply, but no sound came out. She was touching me. And she wasn't letting go any time soon. Even a gentle rub with her hand could amount to a death sentence. Fear gripped me, "…sure." I managed weakly.

She nodded, "Mm, alright! You can call me Doctor Medusa. That's what everyone here calls me, after all." She giggled. "Though I wouldn't mind if someone chose to call me a closer name…" she looked to Stein.

The man coughed, "I'll leave you two alone. And Poe?" he adjusted his glasses and gave me a stern look, "Don't give her too much trouble."

I nodded, pale. "…no trouble… right."

With that, Stein gave the floor a kick and wheeled out of the room, shutting the door on his way. And I just laid there with Medusa standing over me, watching me, observing me. I just laid there like a corpse, spread out to be examined in front of the most dangerous, most terrifying person in the setting.

Medusa Gorgon smiled cutely and asked about my family to pass the time.

-x-

One Foot on the Platform
OR: One Foot on the Train

End-42

 

[Ars Poetica]

Poe. Your plans... they... good god...

-x-

I think what I hated most was the waiting. It was waiting for Medusa to do something, anything, and for her to do nothing. I mean it. The entire time that I was in her care, at any point, it would have been well within her power to do horrifying things to me… except, maybe not.

Thinking about it, if ever there existed a situation where it was actually a good thing that Medusa was watching me, it would be this one. With cameras around every corner, people walking up and down the halls all the time – it was a very frequented hospital in an academy where people went out and fought people who became monsters, so I'd be surprised if there was a lack of activity – I was actually very safe from any of Medusa's machinations.

Because I interested somebody of importance, probably Death, and because I was clearly not trying to do bad things, they probably wanted me on their side… if that made any sense. Gauging the morality of the people in this world would not be as easy to do as in the world of Bleach, and even when it was easier I tended to fuck up frequently.

See, in this world, this convoluted world where the sun and moon were inside the atmosphere and Death had an address in Nevada, it was equally feasible that this was just the prelude to a long imprisonment without chance of reform as it was possible that they wanted me as their friend. I just had no idea. In Bleach, things made sense. Here?

I didn't even know what continuity this alternate universe was based on. If I knew at least that much, I'd have an easier time determining what I could do – better, I'd know what I was able to do, if I only knew what universe I was in. It was like having a tangible answer to a philosophical question; it was having that answer just within reach but just outside my grasp.

…It was driving me up the wall.

"You look troubled, Ars," Medusa said to me, "If there's anything you'd like to share, I'm always willing to hear."

"That's good to know… I didn't realize you were a psychiatrist." I tried to get comfortable in my restraints and failed. "I guess, if anything was troubling me at all, it would be these things."

Medusa 'hmm'd' and examined them, "That's… unfortunate. I hope you're not expecting me to loosen them."

"It's a matter of principles." I tried explaining.

Her head tilted to the side a bit and she smiled at me, "Hoh? And it is against yours to be bound to a bed with restraints? I suppose it would be against almost anyone's, really…"

"I'm more talking about your principles than mine."

"How so?"

"The Hippocratic Oath."

Medusa blinked. "That old thing? You're being well-fed and we don't intend to keep you here long, and considering just how powerful you are, I don't see how much this is harming you."

"Again, principle, and chaffing counts as 'harm' in my book." I tried gesturing with my head to the straps, "So if you don't mind doing no harm, would you kindly undo these things?"

"…Oh, so this is how you're trying to escape?" she asked me, "You're reasoning with me to loosen them?"

"No, I'm reasoning with you to tighten them – of course I'm reasoning with you to loosen them, the damn things are uncomfortable!" I whined, "I mean it, they're awful. Couldn't you at least do something like put a cushion under the straps so they wouldn't hurt as much? Or maybe moisten them – actually, no, don't do that. It might cause swelling."

"I have the strangest idea you have no concept of what you're talking about…" Medusa mused.

"It's your moral obligation to let me go!"

"It's my moral obligation to see you healthy." She smiled, "No more. No less."

…Wow, she was good at this. It was actually frightening how talented she was at just pretending to be a school nurse. Wait, that brought up a point. "Psychiatry, though? Really?"

"It's a required field for working at the DWMA," she did not huff at me, "Of course I would understand how people normally think and operate."

"Ah. Any, uh, any other fields I should know about from the person who is caring for me…?" I drawled out my question, stretching it to the air and leaving an uncomfortable hum in the room.

Medusa sighed, "Please don't make me list them…"

"List? What kinds of qualifications do you have?"

She took a deep breath, "In no particular order: Animal Science, Plant Sciences, Food Science, Microbiology, Biochemistry, Biomedical sciences, Biophysics, Biotechnology, Bacteriology, Anatomy, Biometrics & Biostatistics, Neuroscience, Nutrition Science, Parasitology, Toxicology, Genetics – Human & Animal, of course," she looked at me to make sure I was still following.

"Of course," I repeated, nodding.

Medusa picked up where she left off with another intake of air, "Embryology, Immunology, Molecular Biology, Rehabilitation and Therapeutic Services, Statistics, Astronomy, General Chemistry, Acoustics, Applied Physics, School Psychology, Experimental Psychology, Educational Psychology, Family Psychology, Counseling Psychology, Clinical Psychology, Comparative Psychology, General Psychology, Sociology, Music Education, Science Education, and Communication Research."

My eyes by this point had boggled, "That's… I lost count at a little over thirty."

"Thirty-seven," she said to me, "And some minor degrees in at least nineteen other fields of independent study."

I felt my mouth open of its own accord, "…Holy crap." I exhaled, "When… When did you have time for all that?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away from me, "I spent more years on my studying than I did with other people. It helped in getting a job, but," she sighed, "My prospects for anything else can be called nonexistent."

"You mean socially?" I asked her.

She blushed, "N-No! I have friends!"

"Students don't count." I deadpanned.

Medusa stepped back, a hand over her chest, "You…! How cruel…!" she cried and looked down, "How awful of you, to wound a maiden's heart…" Maiden? Her? How about no.

A few seconds passed and, finally, the absurdity of the situation smacked into me. This was… It was ridiculous. Medusa Gorgon. She could have murdered me any number of times and here she was, acting out the part of the socially repressed prodigal doctor. It was just too much.

I started laughing. And, soon after, Medusa joined in. It sounded genuine, it really did. Even with the knowledge of the things she would do in the future, the way she acted now was so completely different that I still might have fallen for it. She was really good at her act. Scary good. Too good.

When we finally stopped laughing, there was a lull that I couldn't help but take advantage of, "So, about my restraints."

"No."

I sighed, "Alright, then." And nothing else was said.

-x-

Finally being allowed out of the hospital bed was a relief in itself. I hopped, skipped, jumped, and generally screwed around. My legs felt almost numb before my feet were finally able to touch the floor.

Getting dressed was another matter entirely, one that I wasn't too happy about because it meant I had been stripped while unconscious… not even Urahara did that to me. Jeans, shirt, work apron, hoodie, shoes, etc… finally, I put my swords through the belt loops of my pants and walked out of the room while escorted by Stein.

"A personal meeting with Lord Death is a big deal," he said to me, "I hope you understand that?"

"Right," I nodded along with him. Stein was already lighting up a cigarette in front of a non-smoking sign, "You're the second doctor I've met who does that…" I mused, "The other guy got away with it because he owned the building. Do you get away with it because of nepotism?"

Stein shrugged, "There's nothing to get away with."

"It's smoking," I poked him, "That's a bad habit. You should know better." I sniffed the air, "It makes you smell like shit. I don't like shit."

"Nobody does." Stein replied.

We stopped in front of a decorated door. He gestured for me to go in and so, with a single step, I walked through. My first meeting with Death in the most tangible sense was relatively amicable. At least, that's how I try to remember it. I've been told that there was this awkward silence where we just stared at each other for an uncomfortably long time.

Naturally, I broke the silence in the most natural way possible, "…I like your head."

He blinked, or I think the skull mask thing on his face blinked, "What?"

"The twirl on your head, that thing that's part of your cloak… I think it adds character to you. I like it." I nodded, "Yeah. I kind of want one. But, uh, I have my own get-up." Gesturing to my own outfit while not losing eye contact with Death, I considered what else to say, "Also. A school. Good choice. I mean, I never wanted to be a teacher at all, but, uh, hey. It's a living."

"…Well thank you, Poe." Death brought one of his giant hands up to rub his chin, "You… are interesting. I've never seen a soul quite like yours before, and I don't think I ever will after this. Our mutual acquaintance here," he gestured towards Stein, "Explained to me that you believe that you are a flaming skeleton man from another dimension. Is that true?"

"Well, yeah!" I nodded, "It is!"

Death very seriously considered the earth-shattering, world destroying news. This was information that could completely alter one's viewpoint of the world in its entirety, no, it could alter his perspective on the universe and – "I believe you." He cheerfully decreed, clapping his hands together a single time.

"…What." I just stared.

"He said that he believes you," Stein said simply, "Your soul exudes a Madness that is completely alien to the world in amounts that range from unconventional to utterly outrageous. More than that, I've been adjusting my soul's wavelength since the start of this conversation and you haven't even flinched." He pointed to the giant screw in his head, "That shows a level of adaptability that neither I nor Lord Death has ever seen before."

"It's more believable," Death explained, "That you're telling the truth than to believe that you're lying, because any other conventional possibility would label you a being of near-omnipotence. And nearly omnipotent you most certainly are not." He looked closer, "It is understandable how others who can perceive your soul would react… negatively, but I have seen and dealt with much worse."

"You've dealt with worse than – oh, you must mean the thing you keep under the school." Dead silence and a temperature drop simultaneously affected the room, "…oh, right… that's a secret." I bit my lip, "If I said 'sorry', would you let me go?"

"No." They both said.

"I thought so."

Death looked me over again, "You… know things. I was told how you knew about Soul's family, how you knew very specific information about him."

"It was hardly specific," I scoffed, "I mean, come on? Soul Eater Evans? Everyone knows that he changed his name to escape his brother's shadow and wow I should really stop talking."

"No, no," Stein looked at me half-lidded, "Go on. We're listening. How much do you know?"

…Ah, hell. I actually didn't know anything at all, did I? One of my biggest problems was that I didn't know what universe I was in. Maybe if I could use something, anything, to determine that much… wait, maybe that was possible? I could probably manage it if I played my cards right.

"That depends…" I trailed, "What if I told you that I could tell you the future? More than that, what if I told you that my telling you the future could defeat some major threats to the world, prevent Asura from returning, and stop a scheme involving some specific students of this academy?"

"I would say," Death mused, "That it sounded a little too good to be true. But you haven't lied yet, have you?" he asked me, "You're too terrible at keeping secrets to lie very well at all…" Death thought about it.

"If he really is telling the truth," Stein said to Death, "Then should we give him a chance?"

"That depends…" Death eyed me and finally asked, "What would you need?"

"In order for me to tell you the secrets of the universe, and this is important," I thought of everything I'd encountered so far in this world. I thought of Medusa. And finally, I thought of the one thing that could show me the way. "I need you to help me look under an androgynous child's dress." The silence returned with a vengeance. "It will all make sense soon, I promise."

Somehow, I got the feeling they didn't believe me.

-x-

One Foot on the Platform
OR: One Foot on the Train

End-43

 

[Ars Poetica]

And it was all going so well...

-x-

"We have to assume that there will be deviations," Death told me, "Even assuming that the witch, Medusa Gorgon, plans to reveal her son, or daughter, in the manner you are describing there is no telling where that will take place."

"…That's true," I conceded, "Originally, Crona would appear in a church somewhere in… Italy? I'm not sure on the location. But with the little changes I've encountered so far, it's likely that Crona would appear somewhere completely different. Or, maybe Medusa would keep Crona closer." I shrugged, "Who knows."

"You should," Stein pointed out, "You can see the future."

"A future," I 'corrected' him, "Two, at that." I didn't know a lot about Soul Eater, not as much as I'd like to think I did. The best route towards my comfort zone was determining which of the two worlds this one was more based on. In the anime, Crona was generally regarded as a boy. In the manga, Crona was a girl. So, I reasoned, if I could tell which Crona was, I'd know what world I was in.

Explaining it to Death and Stein was the hard part. I needed to somehow not let on that they were fictional characters while still playing the part of an oracle. How would I do this? I'd already revealed I was from another dimension, so saying there were alternate timelines that I knew about with significant divergences was not too great a stretch to believe.

Convincing them that the linchpin was some kid's gender, however, was the hard part. Death was mostly accepting of the idea, or he looked like he was. Stein, however, looked ready to call bullshit at a moment's notice. I didn't blame him, I couldn't. Everything about me was suspicious.

"Right. Two timelines." Stein exhaled smoke, "Lord Death, this is…"

"I understand," Death nodded to Stein, "It's strange. Assuming that our guest is once again telling the truth… it would be the strangest thing I've heard. And I still believe him."

"Why is that?" I found myself asking Death, "I mean, a lot of what I say ranges from being weird to being insane, but you're just… cool with all of it."

"I could say that it is because on some counts I have heard much stranger truths. At this point, it is more that you have nothing to gain from lying, and we would know if you were lying."

"…Yay?" I raised an eyebrow, "That's great."

"It is, however, quite concerning that the only way for you to understand the world is to engage in an act of what might be called pedophilia–"

"I don't need to touch him!" I interrupted Death, "Or her! I just need to see to be sure. Boxers, or briefs, or panties, whatever – I just need to know Crona's anatomy."

Stein just stared at me, "…You're not doing much to help your case."

"I know." My head nodded in acknowledgment, "At this point, though, I'm getting a little past the point of caring." This was an alternate universe. My presence had already, probably, thrown wrenches in more than a few plans. I needed to know whose plans I'd fucked up before I could do anything. And this? This was the fastest, best way I could think to do that.

In retrospect, if I knew the setting even a little better, I could have just asked Death some questions relating to one world more than the other and determine which world I was in based on that, but maybe I didn't because I wanted to get the hell out of this city and stretch my legs going places and doing things. Who knows? The truth shall forever be a mystery…

"If that's the case, then I have an idea." Death smiled at me with his cartoonish mask, or at least I think it was a smile. The only way to determine his facial expressions was to observe how his eyes crinkled and at the end of the day, my skills in determining what obscure facial expressions meant were rather lacking.

I rocked on my feet forward and back, "Okaaaay… And your plan is to…?"

"Originally, I wanted Stein to test some of our EAT Class students. You've met some of them."

"I have, yes." I confirmed, "How is Tsubaki, by the way?"

"She recovered ahead of schedule." Stein informed me, "If you were about a foot closer to her when you used that fire attack, she'd be crippled," a pause, "Just thought I'd let you know."

"Way to kill the mood…" I grumbled, "But, anyway, yeah. I met them. I fought… four? The last team is composed of your son and his two Weapons, right?"

Death nodded, "It is. Now, as I was saying, Stein was originally going to test them–"

"But now it's my turn!" I raised a fist, "Alright, I get to beat up a bunch of kids!" I stopped and stood still, "…Wow, that came out way too eager. Um, I'll go easy on them?"

"REAPER CHOP!" The edge of his hand struck my head with incredible force, crashing me into the ground. I twitched in pain, spasms rocking my form. "Stop interrupting me!"

I groaned. "…Oh god… Oww…"

"I have other teachers capable of testing those students," Death explained as I nursed my aching head, "In order to determine your abilities, I'll be having you fight Stein."

I think his 'Reaper Chop' knocked out some of my hearing, because I thought he said that he, "Wait, huh?" I slowly looked up at Death, "But I'll kick his ass. He's too slow, doesn't have a Weapon, and I won't be inebriated with Madness… Or at least, I hope not."

"…Kick my ass?" Stein eyed me, "Well aren't you full of yourself? I beat you once, Poe. I can beat you again."

"You really wanna go at it, Stein?" I asked him as I slowly stood up, "Let's do it! Right here! Right now! I'm strong, now. I know I'm strong now! And I could totally–"

"REAPER CHOP!" This time when I hit the ground, I'm sure blood was drawn from the hit. My body twitched, just a little, and I eyed Death, "You're being arrogant," he said to me, "Filling yourself up with false pride based off extenuating circumstances." Seconds passed as Death stared at my collapsed form, "Don't do that. Never do that."

It was a shounen world, I tried to reason. Lots of things were settled with fights and conflicts. I went through something similar in Bleach with Yoruichi, at least this time they were being open about it. I grit my teeth and turned my body over to better hold my head wound.

Even so, what was wrong with being a little prideful? I'd never held any kind of pride for, well, anything in my life. If I wanted to be proud of how strong I was getting, what was wrong with that? If I wanted to be arrogant, it was because I'd earned that right through blood and sweat and tears. I could be as arrogant as I wanted because this world? After what I dealt with before, this world was easy street.

"When do we start?" I asked, "Is it going to be a public brawl, or something private. What's the plan? Don't hold anything back. I want to hear this." I enunciated my every word perfectly to counteract any possible slurring from possible brain damage. I'm not sure how it looked or sounded to Death and Stein.

"You will fight in a cleared out space and be observed from here by myself," Death gestured to his black form, "And several specialists."

"You and all those people watching me," I smirked, "I feel so special."

"It's only natural." Stein said, "You have access to critical information and have given us the means to verify if it is true or not. Unfortunately, the only means we have would require placing you in a combat scenario, and while your soul is powerful, we do not know how well that transfers into reality."

He fought me once, unarmed, and punched me into the ground when I caught myself under the influence of some kind of Madness. Now that I had adapted to all of that, it would be a different story. This time, when we met to fight, I'd bury him – well, not literally, our fight would be more like a really intense sparring match, but whatever worked.

"That doesn't answer the question of 'when', though…" I pointed out.

"Tomorrow at noon," Stein dropped his cigarette and snuffed it out as he turned to leave, "Don't be late. And good luck. You'll need it." Even as he left, I heard his fading voice. The last comment was like an ominous whisper.

My eyes were cast to Death, "I get the sense he doesn't like me."

"Odd," Death said, "I got the sense that you hated him."

I sputtered, "Hate? Nah, I don't hate him. He's a cool guy."

"You looked like you wanted to hurt him. You almost started a fight with him right here." Death examined me, "Something I've noticed about you, Poe, is that you have a very interesting Madness. Stein believed that you had adapted to him, but I think differently."

"And, what do you think?" this was Death. If there had ever been an expert on Madness it would be him. If anyone had any answers about my behavior, if my behavior was truly questionable, it would be Death.

"I think your Madness is manipulating your confidence, making you feel surer about things. Stein could be right, you could still be adapting to it and this might just be a lingering effect."

"I'm sensing a 'but'…"

"But I'm worried this might be a symptom of something more dangerous. It could be nothing, but it might be something. And if it is something…"

"You want me to know about it now so it doesn't come as a surprise later when you have to kill me?" I suggested. An awkward silence once again filled the room, "Oh, wow. That was… morbid. Sorry about that."

"It's quite alright. Euthanizing you would be a last resort, only used if there genuinely was no way out for you. I'm telling you now so we can try and deal with this before it becomes a problem."

"Mind if I ask why? I'm just some guy. Even if I have this information, even if I have my own power, why would you try to help me if I was a threat to everything you stood for?"

"I am Death." He said it to me like it said everything that needed to be said. He elaborated upon seeing my look of pure confusion, "I am Death by name and all that represents. For the people of this world, when their souls must pass on, they eventually must come through Death City – they must come through me to see the afterlife. I have seen every kind of imaginable death and some that were just unimaginable. Is it so unbelievable that, given the option to save a life instead of letting it be snuffed before its time, I would walk that road instead of letting that life end?"

"…You're doing this because you care about me?"

"I'm doing this because I care about people. I care about souls. And no matter where you're from, no matter who you were before coming here, I do not think you are an evil person, Poe." Death, I'm sure, was smiling, "If you do what you do in order to mean well, trust that I do the same for the same reasons. I just have far more experience at it." Pondering that, I nodded and walked out the way Stein left.

-x-

Death City had a temporary apartment set up for me. Blair was already there, waiting for me to walk in through the door. It was, thankfully, on the first floor. Even better, there were two beds. The place was incredibly small, but it was fine as a temporary living space.

"How'd it all go?" Blair asked me.

My back hit one of the beds and I stared at the unfamiliar ceiling, "Well…" I trailed, "I'm going to punch a mad scientist in the face tomorrow. Death's inviting guests to come and watch with him."

"Sounds like fun!" Blair smiled, "And what happens after that?"

"I don't know," I admitted, "And I don't care."

"Have fun with that, then!" Blair smiled, "I'll be out all night, but I'll be back tomorrow morning. So I probably won't be able to see your fight… but, hey! We're living together! It's gonna be great–" I already tuned her out.

For all the energy I felt at being out of a hospital bed and having no restraints, it was amazing how exhausting that conversation had been. I was just tired. Tomorrow, though? Tomorrow was going to be a special kind of exciting, I was sure. A rematch with stein… and this time, I'd be at my best. This time…

…this time Stein would have a Weapon.

I grimaced and looked at the swords at my sides. Putting them through the loops in my pants was fine as a temporary solution, but I needed something better. I needed a belt to strap my sheaths on to. A kind of sword belt if that made any sense. I wondered if there was any place that sold stuff like that in Death City, Nevada. Maybe it was? This place was home to the best Weapons and Meisters; it wouldn't have struck me as odd if there were places in the city specifically meant to cater to certain customers of that variety.

My eyes shut. It would be a problem for tomorrow. It would be another thing to cover for tomorrow. I was sure; it'd just be something for me to deal with… Tomorrow…

In the dead of night, clouds obscuring the light of the stars so only the crazed and grinning moon could be seen glowing, someone was sitting on the bed to the left of mine. Someone was watching me. Very slowly, I opened my eyes and looked. With the positioning of my head, I could only see the figure's bare feet.

But that was enough, wasn't it? Who else would break into homes uninvited, bare-footed? Who else but Medusa Gorgon? "At the hospital…" she trailed, "You knew I was a witch." My eyes were trailing up her body to meet hers; along the way I saw her braid was going the opposite direction. "How did you know?"

I opened my mouth, "Magic." I said in a deadpan, "Fucking magic."

The light smirk on her lips disappeared into narrowed eyes, a scowl and a frown, "…Amusing," she reached her hand out to touch my chest and I moved to grab my swords– "I know you dislike restraints," she said to me, "But you'll have to bear with these." Vector arrows wrapped around my arms and legs, gripping me to the bed.

I eyed her. It was all I could do now. Her every move, her every action, I watched it all with wide eyes, "…shit…" I hissed, "…Well, if this is how it ends, at least make it quick."

"Oh, is that what you think of me?" she asked, "No, no, Ars. If I wanted you dead, I wouldn't have waited until you woke up and noticed me to do this," she smiled again, "I want you for something special."

"…Special how?" I dared to ask.

Medusa Gorgon's smile was thin and wide, her eyes held nothing but malice. "I want you to kill someone for me."

-x-

One Foot on the Platform
OR: One Foot on the Train

End-44

 

[Ars Poetica]

Don't be a Bloodknight.

-x-

When considering a job, you must always take into account three things. First, take into account your employer. What is your employer like? Does he or she like apples? If so, make sure to bring an apple to the interview. Second, are you trying to be hired by your employer or is your employer trying to hire you? In the case we will be addressing, the second is true. Third and most important, is your employer a back-stabbing, murderous, psychopathic snake witch? If the answer to that last question happens to be "yes" then you're all kinds of fucked.

My reaction to Medusa's proposal was surprisingly calm, "You know… if someone walks in on us, they might find this a bit compromising." One of Medusa's eyebrows rose slightly, but she said nothing. "I mean… I mean, well, you've tied me down to the bed and now here you are, dressed in black, watching me… someone else might find this arousi–"

"Finish that sentence," she interjected, "And I will castrate you."

"…You want someone dead?" I asked, "Why should I do it? Why should I listen to you?"

"If it's a matter of lacking incentives, I can always give you one," she shrugged and placed a hand over my mouth. An arrow wrapped around her wrist dove into my mouth and down my throat. I coughed, sputtered, and gagged on the thing worming and slithering its way down. "That vector arrow, for example. If you do not kill the person I want dead, I will have that arrow destroy the insides of your body." Her fingers traced down to my gut, "Which should it cut through first; I wonder… the small intestine or the stomach? The liver or the lungs? So many choices…" she whispered, "It's exciting."

"And what if I just shout rape?" I looked her in the eyes, "What if I don't hold as much value in my own life as you think?"

She laughed at me, "Oh, Ars. I know your type. You care about yourself, above all others. You're too selfish, too cowardly to consider that an option," she grinned, "I give you points for bluffing, but you are in the presence of a master of the craft. You're not even a novice."

"Wouldn't it be mistress?" I asked her.

"…What?"

My priorities were at work and I was quick to answer her inquiry, "You called yourself a master of bluffing. But you're a chick. So shouldn't it be–"

"Not the point," she shook her head, "The point is that you will do as I say, or I will kill you." The hand that was still tracing my abdomen rushed up to clench my chin, "Understand?"

I scowled her, "Hypothetically speaking…" her hand was cold, it gripped my chin tightly and gave me little room to even move my neck, let alone take my eyes off of hers, "Let's say I kill that guy. What's to stop you from killing me anyway?"

"I'm a witch of my word…" she drawled.

Yeah. No. "I'm calling bullshit." My eyes narrowed, "There are fates in this world worse than death, and I'm pretty sure you either know of them or invented some. You're right to assume I hold my life to that pedestal of regard, but I'd rather die right here and right now than suffer whatever the hell you've got waiting for me."

"So you want insurance?" she asked, "Hmm…" with a flick of her wrist, something drew its way out of my mouth. Once again, I gagged and sputtered. But this time, the vector arrow was removed. "Very well." She said to me, "I have other, better ways to keep you in line and stop you from betraying me. Your insurance will be that I don't come back. I will watch you. I will follow you. I will know where you are at all times. But you will see nothing of me after you have killed the person I want you to kill."

"…Your insurance is that you're going to be my designated stalker?" I asked, "That's nuts."

"Would you rather I shove a vector arrow down your throat again?"

I clicked my tongue, "I'll be good."

"Excellent," her voice was soft. It reminded me of silk, incredibly toxic silk, "I will assign you your target tomorrow night."

Swallowing, I dared to ask; "Why not now? I mean, you're here, I'm here, Blair isn't, and–"

"Your fight with Stein is in nine hours and the person I want dead isn't even in the city, yet."

Okay. That was actually really helpful. Not the first part, the second part. Whoever Medusa wanted dead, if I had to guess, was integral to the plot in some way, shape or form. This same person hadn't yet arrived in Death City, so it had to be someone from one of the other DWMA branches.

That meant the person I was being sent after either was someone from the anime or manga who did not appear in the story arc until a major divergence… wow, that wasn't very helpful. It could have been any of the Death Scythes, that one guy with soul perception from another branch, any number of Meisters, it could even be someone I never learned about who exists unique to this universe – or maybe someone who never died in this timeline?

Too much speculation, too little evidence to go on… I needed to know more. "How much of my conversation with Death and Stein did you hear, by the way?"

Medusa's departing grin left me shivering, "…I'll be keeping that to myself."

The door shut and locked itself. Soon after, the vector arrows left my body and drifted away through every available crevice in the walls, floor, and ceiling. I shuddered and shifted a bit. Getting out of bed, I walked to the door and opened it to look outside.

…The streets were empty. Not a soul, man, or witch was in sight. I was alone.

-x-

The feeling I got from running out of the apartment with a piece of toast in my mouth was interesting. All I needed was a cute uniform and about eighty percent more cuteness and I might've pulled off the stereotype. Eating the toast without touching it with either hand while running full tilt in the general direction of where I needed to be was the biggest challenge…

Up a wall, across a roof, jump to another roof, leap off, skid across a wall, jump out of an alley, tumble into another leap, run up another wall, go across a roof, stop at the corner of the roof and jump off onto the street, tumble again, stand, and… I was half expecting Stein to hold up a laminated ten.

"Your pants are sliding off," he said to me instead, "Have you considered getting a belt?"

Finishing the last bite of toast in my mouth, I looked at him, "It's not my fault. These pants are my size, it's just the swords are weighing them down, so…"

Stein sighed, "I'll see about getting you a belt after this."

"Right! After this!" I nodded and got ready to draw my swords, "So how's this going to work? Me against you unarmed again, or…"

"I'll be using a Weapon partner."

"Ah. Spirit?" I asked, "I mean, it would make sense, he is here… right?"

"Not quite." Stein answered, "In response to possible threats, Lord Death sent a request for all Death Scythes and their Meisters to make a return to Death City. One of those Death Scythes will be my partner, today."

My body was still but my mind was racing. What did he say? There were other Death Scythes? There were other Death Scythes in Death City?! Medusa wanted me to kill someone and that someone hadn't arrived yet several hours ago. Now there were suddenly more people in the city and I still had that fucking kill order oh shit– I forced myself to calm down.

Okay. No problem.

I was not going to be fighting Spirit. Who else, then, would I likely be fighting? Who else would Stein work with against me? Who else would Death pair Stein with to – wasn't the answer obvious? "Sorry I'm late!" I knew that voice. When I turned to look, I saw the only person it could have been. The blonde hair, the eye patch, yup that was Marie Mjolnir. I was about to fight Stein while he was wielding Marie Mjolnir.

Immediately, I started having flashbacks to his fight on the moon. I remembered reading that. I remembered seeing him going all out with Marie in her Weapon form in the manga. In the anime, she was… I think she was a giant fucking hammer… wait, no, she was a tonfa there, too. Damn.

"No, no…" I found myself saying, "You're just on time."

"Actually, you're both a half hour late." Stein pointed out, "But since we're already behind schedule, we should get started. Marie, you know what we're doing?"

She blinked, "I was briefed… We're testing him, so nothing too dangerous?"

"Just hit me," I said, "With what you feel is right. I won't be holding anything back." I prepared myself, pouring the power of the Rider through my two swords. The blades started to glow. "I'm ready whenever you are."

At a wordless signal, Marie transformed into a tonfa and Stein grabbed her handle. "At the count of three." He said to me, "One–"

I already started running at him from my position, "Two-three-GO!" My first sword swung and met the guard of the tonfa, stopping it cold. My second swung around to hit Stein, only for him to leap up and kick me in the face. I stepped back and set my arms, returning to a ready stance.

"…Well aren't you eager…" Stein trailed, "…Though, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't." he smirked.

"Less talky!" I snapped, making an attempt to hit him from the side, "More fighty!"

It's hard to explain. Death told me that I acted like I hated Stein. That… could be further from the truth. In reality, something in me just wanted to hit him. More to the point, it felt like I just wanted to fight against him, with him. For some reason, something in me wanted a damn good fight, something to get my blood pumping.

And I felt the most like that when Stein was nearby. Once again, he blocked me, but this time, instead of jumping over my incoming sword, he swept himself beneath it to strike at my leg with his spare hand. I refocused the Rider's power into my feet and jumped high above him.

My swords lit with flame and I swung down from the heavens, two slashes of trailing fire came down to hit him. The first missed, but the second was punched out of existence with a single strike using Marie. The fire of the attack dissipated around Stein, leaving him a clear view of my descending body.

I was a sitting duck for him to rush me from below. Still, I tried to hit him and didn't stop swinging my swords. Each swipe sent a blast of fire at him and Stein just kept dodging them. He knew what would happen if he let himself get hit, so he just went faster to avoid it.

Earlier, I had said that the people here were slower as a whole. That was true. I thought, having become used to fighting people very much faster than me, that I'd be able to beat down the people here. But one way or another, I had found that to be wrong.

Even if I was more skilled fighting faster opponents, I had no skill fighting while falling from the sky and, unfortunately, I had terrible aim. Thinking about it, right before Stein managed to nail me in the chin with a powerful uppercut using Marie, I realized he might have had such an easy time dodging because so many of my shots were going wide.

Once again, I was in the air, this time it was not of my accord and with little to help me, I spun. Eventually, I saw the grass approaching me and did the only thing I could. I reinforced my hoodie and apron, curling the latter around me to turn my descending body into a meteorite. Emerging from the crater, my scorched apron and hoodie reset themselves.

What was once a relatively peaceful clearing had turned into a flaming pit of fire and craters, most of it was my fault. I just clenched my swords tighter and grinned ever-wider. For the first time, I was having fun fighting someone. Judging from Stein's grin, the feeling was mutual.

I plunged both swords into the earth in front of me and started channeling the power of the Rider into the ground. Stein, wasting no time, rushed my suddenly vulnerable position. I heaved. The earth, a big chunk of land, was suddenly lifted from the ground and corrupted black and burning to be flipped away and Stein was still on it.

A single, mighty punch with Marie 'the Pulverizer' Mjolnir turned the massive chunk into dust and left me suddenly to defend from an aerial attack from Stein. I crossed my swords and felt impact as he struck the center. My feet dug against the dirt as I was pushed back. Stein's grin widened. I reinforced my hoodie and work apron – Impact happened.

When I say that impact happened, I say that Marie's strike launched me faster than I'd ever been launched by anything else and crashed my body through a tree… and another tree… and one more… and then I tumbled over a rather big rock, which really hurt… then I went through one more tree… and finally I just rolled a good dozen or so feet on ground, coming to a stop at another rock.

Slowly, I sat up and looked at the sudden clearing my passing body had made. Reinforced hoodie and apron or not, that hurt. Standing, my joints cracked and protested movement. Even so, everything was snapping into place. The power of the Rider coursed through me, injuries quickly faded. I looked at Stein and grinned, "Nice shot! My turn!"

The Rider's power boosted my shoes once more and, with a shout, I charged the two.

-x-

One Foot on the Platform
OR: One Foot on the Train

End-45

 

[Ars Poetica]

GODDAMNIT POE!

-x-

Marie Mjolnir's name had a definite meaning to it. Maybe I was pondering it because of head trauma, but her last name of "Mjolnir" was not a joke. Every strike, every swing, I could practically see the lightning and hear the pounding of thunder with every vigorous motion. A flash quickly followed by an explosion, either of the literal sort or because of the sheer amount of pain.

Because, and this might come as a surprise, being hit by her Weapon form hurt. It hurt a lot. Simply saying that it hurt wasn't enough, though, because it went beyond that. Good god. Every swing, every push, every strike landed. When Stein finally got serious, when he realized I could take just about everything he could throw at me, he threw everything at me.

Occasionally, I could block his hand. Occasionally, I could bring up my guard to divert one of Stein's punches, but Marie… Weapons, one must remember, are sentient. At the end of the day, in spite of their form, Weapons are humans and capable of controlling their bodies. And Marie, well, Marie was doing more than a little of the work when it came to spinning and hitting.

When I dodged to the side to avoid another punch from her Weapon form to my face, Stein's arm did not shift of its own accord to respond to the attack – Marie pulled Stein's arm into position so she could hit me. It was a struggle to determine what I had to reinforce with the power of the Rider. My hoodie? Good for when he got behind me. My apron? Good for all around defense or tanking a frontal attack to my chest and gut. My pants?

…Actually, I hadn't reinforced my jeans before. Doing so, I charged one of my shoes with the power of the rider and supercharged my pants. My leap turned into a powerful, burning kick that Stein was forced to block with Marie. In response, I forced myself forward to roll over him, collapsing my leg in the process.

My back was on the ground, but my swords were hooked between his legs. I pulled and for a moment was sure that Stein's every sense of danger was screaming at him. For with the power of the Rider running through my Zanpakuto, the blunt sides of those swords became serrated. Saw teeth designed to carve through flesh glowed with heat and aimed to take him down.

Stein jumped high to dodge my attack, but as I let go of my blades their tassels jumped into my hand to extend my reach, flaming swords aimed to strike higher and higher. Before being struck, there was a blast of lightning and Stein spun to see me. I could see his face – he was grinning wide and maniacally.

Another blast of lightning brought Stein coming down, bringing with him the boom of thunder to go past my swords and hit my gut. I drew the blades back, grasping their handles and rolling to the side. The attack struck dirt, but the resulting crater pushed me further and what was once a controlled dodge turned into a fight with the terrain to stand back up again.

I was on my knees and watching Stein. That was all. I was just watching him as he slowly, meticulously got up from his position and looked at me. Light reflected so easily from his glasses it made looking in his eyes impossible. So I stood swords at the ready and prepared for another attack. "You're below my level."

The comment was so sudden, I was caught off guard. My stance faltered, "What? Below–" his words caught up with me, "Bullshit. I've been matching you!"

"You've been hit more often than you've hit me," Stein assessed, "In fact, even before I got serious, any damage you inflicted on me was minimal."

"I hit you!" I snapped, "I got you more than once, even!"

"Did you?" he asked me in turn, "Did you hit me?"

I thought about it. I just stopped, stood there, and thought about it. When did I hit Stein? Was it when I first charged him? No, he blocked and kicked me. Was it after that? No, more blocking was involved. I threw a giant boulder at him and… he just punched it out of existence. After that, did I hit him? No, he countered me…

"…What the hell…?" I marveled, "That's…"

"Not a single time. You haven't hit me a single time since we started. Meanwhile, I've hit you enough times to cripple just about anyone else."

"So what?" I asked him, "I'm still fighting! I can still win this!"

"What's there to win?" he asked, "I'm not trying all that hard to beat you into the ground, Poe. If there was something you could win, it would not be this fight." My eyes went wide.

"…You're kidding me…" my voice tapered off, "That's… that's not fair. Nothing you do can hurt me for long!"

"But it can disable you," he said, "You can be knocked out. If my goal was to kill or knock you out, you would definitely be dead. But my goal is only to test you."

I felt cheated. That was all? This fight was just… it was just practice for him. Did he even break a sweat fighting me? Did he struggle at all? Was I just that easy to defeat? No, more than that… this was supposed to be easy. Black☆Star and Tsubaki went down easily enough… but they didn't. I beat Tsubaki and forced Black☆Star to retreat, I didn't necessarily defeat Black☆Star. I didn't knock him out. I didn't kill him.

And that was telling, wasn't it? I was below Stein's level, but above Tsubaki's. "If you had to assess me," I said to him, "Right now. How strong am I?"

"Physically, you're about as strong as me. Maybe stronger."

"And spiritually? The soul is what matters here, right?"

"…I haven't been able to get a read your soul, actually." He told me, "After you got on a roll with altering your clothing and healing yourself repeatedly, your soul's wavelength just vanished." He frowned, "When you're available, I'd like to run tests on that."

"Before you stopped being able to see it, though, was I faster or anything?"

"…In terms of speed, you're pretty slow. I wouldn't put a majority of the EAT students against you. But I could feasibly take you in a fight. Chances are, so could anyone on my level or higher."

"So, what, I'm shit-tier?" I laughed, "That's… that's just fucking typical, I guess…" I fell back and sat in the dirt, "It doesn't matter how slow everyone is, I just can't win."

"…You weren't holding back?" he asked me, "That was your best?"

"It's always worked before!" I protested, "Using that, I've always…" Not won. Never won. Did I beat Amagai? Well, no. I hard-countered him, surprised him, and then he got mostly taken out when Tousen intervened. I didn't beat Black☆Star and Tsubaki, I just hit the weaker link by accident and forced the stronger of the two to retreat with her. Yoruichi? Nah, she kicked my ass.

The only time I had ever won a fight was when I fought Uryu, when I tried to knock sense into him… or something… I actually didn't remember what my plan was regarding the 'Last Scion of the Quincies' or whatever the hell he was calling himself. Wait, did I tell Uryu about Ywach? I should've told him about Ywach.

I hit myself in the head for that, a real solid palm to the face. "Don't beat yourself up over it," Marie's voice once again fluttered about, "You're not weak, Poe. You're just… not there yet." Outside her Weapon form, I could see her watch me with something resembling pity. Or maybe she was trying to comfort me…?

"It's annoying," I said to her, "More than anything else. I've fought some really strong people, and I should be getting better! I keep getting into fights, I keep coming out with more interesting and powerful abilities… but no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I get my ass kicked!" I snarled and hit the ground in a brief flash of rage before falling, my back striking the earth, "But I'm used to it. I should be used to it."

"So you're just going to give up?" Stein asked me, "Because you lost a few fights? That's it?"

I shook my head from where I lay, "Nah," I said to him, "I'm not giving up everything, I'm just giving up at being good at shit. Fuck that noise. Mediocrity all the way!" I punched the air, "Woo!" My arm fell to my side and I just stared at the sky, "Why does everything hurt?"

"I broke every bone in your body." Stein deadpanned, "Twice. I'd be surprised if you weren't in pain."

"Oh." That made sense, "Hey, before you shoot me up with morphine–"

"There are other options for painkillers, you know."

"Shut up! I was in the middle of a thought," I took a breath. I needed to summarize my problem in a single sentence that Medusa would not understand, I needed to tell Stein that she was watching me at all times and held the intent to have me murder someone. That left me with… a surprisingly small number of options. I guess I could have written him a note, but I had no paper and no pen. That left me with one thing: "The Gardener slithers in the moonlight. Remember that. It's important."

When Marie blinked in confusion and asked, "Gardener?" I was not sure whether my ploy was successful or not.

"Might also be Gardner, without the 'e', I'm just not sure." I thought about it, "Do you understand?"

"…Are you speaking in some kind of code?" Stein asked me.

"I'm trying," I corrected him, "Is it working? Please say yes."

"No."

"Goddamnit," I sighed. Guess my only way out was just rendered completely worthless, "Whelp, I do believe I'm in a sufficient amount of pain, so I'm just going to pass out and…"

-x-

Medusa Gorgon, witch, doctor, and all-around best mom ever, stood watching over me in a hospital bed. "We really need to stop meeting like this, Ars." She said to me with a small smile.

"What's the prognosis, doc? Or diagnosis? Fuck it. How am I?" I didn't feel hurt, but that wasn't saying much considering Medusa fucking Gorgon was watching me up close and personal. "…You didn't do anything to me while I was asleep, did you?"

"Me? Oh, heavens no!" she shook her head, "I am a very strict professional! I would never…"

I gave her a flat look, "Cut the act. It's not like Death's watching you right now."

Her smile faded and her eyes narrowed, "I suppose it isn't, no." she pulled up a chair and sat down, "Tonight, you know what you're going to do, yes?"

"I'm still kind of unclear on the reward, here." I admitted, "I mean, first you shove a snake down my throat, then when I mention insurance you say 'stalking time!' and just pull the snake back out again… and now, here you are, making it sound like you've got something on me. This… None of this makes sense."

"Oh, but it does, Ars. It makes plenty of sense," she slowly smiled once more and her eyes leered at me, "You're going to kill someone tonight. If you don't, then I'll–"

"Kill me?" I asked her, "Compared to the alternative of torture until death, you're not really giving me much incentive. Why should I do this? Why all the crappy threats?"

"Crappy?" she raised an eyebrow, "Maybe I should kill you now and be done with it…" Medusa mused.

…this was not her style. Medusa Gorgon did subtlety, Medusa Gorgon did things stealthily. Medusa Gorgon didn't half-ass an assassination plot like this, wouldn't include someone like me in this. Why the hell was she coming to me? Who was she having me kill? It couldn't have been that one guy from canon who she offed since she did that herself, so who else…

She was sending me against a high profile target. She was sending me against someone she couldn't beat on her own, or at least might have trouble with. Medusa Gorgon was sending me to kill someone because she wasn't sure she could deal with whoever it was… at least, that's what I reasoned. Because when Medusa wanted to kill someone, she wouldn't leave it to henchmen. She would do it herself.

But for her to come to me meant she felt I had the skills to do it better than her… or maybe she wanted it to be a botched assassination attempt? So for her to send me meant, "You can't do it." I realized, "Or, at least, trying would fuck up all your plans. Whoever you're aiming to have dead, it's someone important. At the same time, it's someone who could feasibly defend themselves against you." My eyes narrowed, "Who is it? Tell me."

"How insistent of you," she stood from her chair and walked a few paces away from me, "You think I couldn't kill the man I'm sending you against?"

"Not without fucking something up. You need me, right now, to kill someone… you want me to kill someone who I'm either capable of dealing with or you're coming to me because you're desperate." She stiffened, "…That's it, isn't it? You came to the one guy with no actual ties to the DWMA because you hoped, prayed, he would help you. But you're running out of time. And every second, you're getting sloppier and sloppier… I bet people are suspecting who you are because of it and now you need to act."

Her hand was around my throat before I could say anything else. I felt it tighten, I saw her eyes shine a sickening yellow color as she snarled, "You…! You speak to me like I'm one of your peers!"

"I'm speaking to you…" I choked out, "As someone who's seen better," My hand cape up to pry hers off and she just pushed me down in response, "…this plan… is shit… and if you do it… you'll die…" her hand released my neck and I started to breath smoothly again, first in gasps, then in calm, deep inhales and exhales – oh sweet Oxygen, I missed thee…

"Are you legitimately offering to help me?" she asked, "My, Ars, I didn't know you could be so forgiving."

"Whoever you want dead, it's not someone decent," I continued, "For someone to fuck with your plans this early and leave you desperate enough to call for help it would have to me someone similarly as awful as you." I glared at her, "So who? Arachne?" She didn't react, so that was one bullet dodged. It would not have helped me to get into a fight with Arachne, not now and not ever. That was a fight I was sure I couldn't win.

"Does the name Justin Law mean anything to you?"

…And that was another, similar fight. Well, fuck.

-x-

One Foot on the Platform
OR: One Foot on the Train

End-46