Day 125?
I dub thee Fred!
Day 127?
Okay, those demons are much tougher than I thought. First battle went much better in my mind. So, sneaking up on them apparently doesn't work. As soon as I am a certain distance from them, they know I'm there and start throwing themselves at me.
Purple ones do it in more ways than one and that scares me more than anything else.
Day 148?
Note to self. Despite the fact that they look like a mix between a dog and a bull, the red ones taste like chicken.
No Fred, you can't have any. It may taste like chicken but I never said I disliked it.
Day 155?
I'm changing, I didn't notice it until now, but I'm much taller. And my face is totally different, at least from what I saw in that red river. Most importantly, a manly beard. I mean, it's so manly a Viking will look at it and cry themselves to sleep.
I was feeling conflicted about getting back home. On one hand internet and on the other a manly beard. Dilemma of the highest order, truly.
Day 162?
Hmm, I encountered some gold looming thingy today. It kept poking me, but I decided to ignore it for now. Only it kept coming back. Every day, it kept poking me. Finally I lost patience and ate the thing. Bad idea.
Oh, to hell with you Fred, heh, you were the one who kept egging me on. So what if it was the most delicious thing around here? It came with too many strings attached.
Apparently, the thing I ate was like a payment of some kind. But it carried a message, something about saving it. And I totally had a location in my mind and the thing kept poking me from inside now.
Ugh, I finally gave in a decided to see what's all the fuss is about.
Day 163?
Why is everything on fire?
Day 165?
Okay, well that was interesting. Apparently some kid got in way over his head. Something about pushing too far into spiritual ocean. He basically kept bothering me cause some demon jacked his body while he was away. He needed me to take the demon out and stuff him back in.
At first I admittedly was kind of freaked out, that was some the Excorcist level shit and I didn't want anything to with it. Eventually his begging just got to me. Ugh, so I did what he asked and I thought that it was over with.
But apparently the sneaky little shit thought that telling about me to all of his snotty little friends was just fine. And now every day there is a small bunch of little golden lights that just keep poking me.
Every single day. Just poking me.
So what if I sound angry and bitter Fred?! That shit is annoying as fuck! How tasty those golden things are has nothing to do with it!
Day 176?
So I kept helping those guys, hoping that one day they will ran out of requests or tasty golden things to poke me with. Finally leaving me at peace.
But no, one day I have to save this one guy from being eaten by a giant chicken. Next day I have to beat a demon until it gives up its dirty secrets, like it's name. Why would those guys need the name and why would it not just give it? Oh well, none of my business.
But guess what? Instead of decreasing the amount of requests or running out of tasty golden pokers, they just kept multiplying.
Tell me Fred, does this look like a face of mercy? Does it?! Sorry Fred, I can't take out my frustrations on you. That's not how friends roll.
Also, apparently they weren't kids like I thought. They called themselves living ancestors, whatever that was. Basically they were super short, but who can blame me foe making that mistake.
So what if they had some hair on their face, Fred? I'll have you know that it's not called a beard till they reach at least the level of my manly beard.
Day 180?
Hmm, what should I name you?
Day 181?
So yesterday I stumbled upon those two horses. They were dying, getting eating alive by maggots. So I did what any smart man would do. I took them to that black river I saw and bathed them in it. They came out just fine and dandy. Though they looked a bit bigger and spikier? Oh well, at they're healthy now.
I called those two Ulysses and Achill. They liked it judging by how they kept nipping at me.
Day 196?
Today, a bunch of demons decided to attack my place of living. I did not appreciate that. I demonstrated my displeasure by splitting the wig of the green headed elk thing. Safe to say the demons attacking did not survive my displeasure and promptly became my breakfast.
This was a usual occurrence for me, only it seems that this time I had witness. A white armored humananoid was standing and staring at me while I was plucking one of those blue bird things. Not wanting to be a bad host I reluctantly asked if it wanted some. Thankfully for my stomach, it shook it's head at me.
I proceeded to eat my breakfast but the white armored humanoid just kept writing furiously something in its book while seating not too far from me. Strangely instead of looking tense, it looked relaxed. In fact, it looked downright mellow, if I didn't know better I would've thought it was high.
But it looked kind of familiar. I asked if we met before but it denied that. I asked it to take off the helmet just to make sure and it, she, did. She looked pretty, but that's about it. After looking at her for a moment I went back to food and I swear she looked almost offended when I did it.
Hey, I'll have you know Fred, this is my home/plane/mountain and I can offend whomever I like. Oh, thems fighting words. So what if you don't have hands or legs, those little tentacle things you have count as limbs and you have many of them. Engarde, good sir!
Day 209?
I got the name of the she human thing. She said her name is Thaelil, what an exotic name. She giggle when I told her that for some reason. Ulysses and Achill liked her, so I let her take care of them when I'm not riding them.
Oh, and demon attacks increased lately. Especially those purple demons, they kept screaming and moaning, it hurt my sensitive ears. Sadly for them, I wasn't interested in man. And they still kept coming even though I told them that.
So I kept smiting the fuckers. And they still kept coming. One day Thealil told me that the only way to stop them was to go to the source. Which honestly kind of made sense but I just couldn't be bothered.
Day 226?
It has already been ten days and that wailing won't stop. Even poor little Thealil has been driven to tears. And I'm not too far from going off deep end either.
I haven't had a wink of sleep in the last 10 days, Fred. You don't need sleep, you don't get to tell me to stop being a pussy. So what if I technically don't need it either? It's relaxing, ok?
Day 227?
I snapped.
