Noah's Celestial Ark (Celestial Menagerie/High School DxD Self Insert)

[Mariadreaming9]

Starting a new story, don't know when or how often this will be updated. Inspired by Bowlerhat Guy's Behold, a Man. THERE WILL BE END LEVEL SPOILERS FOR DXD IN THE FIRST CHAPTER, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

...

Chapter 1

I woke up with a headache, after what was one of the strangest dreams I'd had in a while. Most dreams I had involved me in a rather god-mode perspective, but this one wasn't. Just a voice, speaking to me.

I turned over in my bed to go back to sleep, then froze, suddenly very concerned.

This… wasn't my bed.

I sat bolt upright to find myself in a clean but small studio apartment. It had a bed, a desk, a balcony, and a small kitchen area. Aside from that, there were two suitcases, one red and one green, and my backpack.

With a sigh of relief, I spotted my old pair of glasses and my phone, plugged in and charging next to me. At a closer look though, it wasn't my phone, well, it was, it was just my old phone. The one that had broken years ago. But here it was, working just fine. Even the Galaxy Cat button on back wasn't as worn away as I remembered it being.

I turned it on to see a Facebook messenger message from my mom.

Hey Sweetie! It read.

Just checking in on you for when you wake up. I'm so proud of you, I know you've always wanted to go to Japan, and now you are! I can't believe you won that scholarship to study aboard.

…uh me too? Did I get drunk, apply to a Japanese Master's program, and get in? Because last I remember was Arizona.

Now, you have two days to get settled in before you start school. Message me back when you wake up. I love you!

I hesitated for a moment before texting back that I was fine, and that I had slept well. No idea what was going on, but I was definitely sure that upsetting my mom would do nothing good.

Then I got up and started taking stock of what exactly was going on.

First thing I noticed was a letter on my desk, haphazardly placed down. I picked up the letter and read.

Dear Ms. Williams;

We are pleased to welcome you to Kuoh Academy.

It then went on and on about how the school had a proud history, and that they were pleased to welcome me in order to encourage international bonds.

The useful information was towards the bottom.

First, that the refrigerator and cupboards had been filled before I arrived. Secondly, that my first day of school was in two days. And finally, that I had been appointed a school guide that would get me settled in, who would contact me either today or tomorrow.

Underneath the letter, I found a map of the area, with my apartment and the school clearly marked, as well as the route. Beneath that were instructions for the apartment appliances, like what the buttons on the microwave meant in English.

…Okay. Had to say, this was one of the weirdest situations I had ever been in, but okay. I guess I was in Japan now.

At least I had experience living abroad.

And hey, if I had a scholarship, that meant I didn't have to worry about the price so much! Thank god. School in the US was so expensive.

…Hopefully I was in a good major.

I checked the letter again but there was no mention of what major I was signed up for. Guess I'll try to figure that out from the recruiter?

Unless…

I checked my backpack for my laptop. I always kept everything on there, so it should have what I need.

I pulled it out and frowned.

Where did all of my stickers go? Did I get a new laptop too?

I checked it over, but it was still the same model. Just… clean.

I plugged it in, then logged in and checked my documents folder. Had a photocopy of my passport, my… high school transcript? Weird, and my visa. And also, on my browser, (thank god I never closed my tabs) was a study aboard website for Japan, along with contact numbers for staff and other people to help those a part of their program.

Well, that was good at least.

At that, I realized something.

I really, really needed to use the bathroom.

Luckily the door to the kitchenet was to the bathroom. It was a nice bathroom too. With a tub!

God bless the Japanese.

As I got up to wash my hands, I looked in the mirror and froze.

My hair hadn't been that long for years. And where were my highlights! I paid so much for those!

Okay, okay. Clearly I was experiencing amnesia of some kind. I briefly considered explaining things to my mom. But then my chronic need to not cause issues reared it's head.

…I could try to figure things out a bit more on my end first. Right?

I peered closer as I washed my hands.

Wow, I looked young. The skincare routine I'd started definitely worked well! But I might have been overdoing it, I was definitely getting some acne.

I was also a lot thinner than I remembered. Did I start some kind of fitness routine?

I stretched a little bit.

…definitely don't seem to be more flexible or anything.

Either way though, I should probably get dressed.

I opened my suitcase, before pausing and checking my phone for the temperature.

Huh, it was really nice out. I could wear a dress!

…if I could find one. Why did amnesiac me not pack my favorite yellow dress? Or any of the blue ones? Or well, anything but jeans, shirts, and sweaters?

I eventually settled on a purple skirt and a nice blouse.

By then I was getting hungry, so I decided to check out the fridge.

Whoever packed it had good taste, I loved yaketori. Cupboards were less impressive; I'm not a ramen gal. Although I could eat it at least, and now I knew I had some cookware.

I decided to check my purse and found several breakfast bars, which were good.

Then I twitched as I promptly gained the ability to summon a toucan and the ability to speak to animals.

What. The. Fuck.

With that realization, I also realized that I already had the ability to summon a… barnacle that shoots radiation and a clam monster?

WHAT THE FUCK!

How the… why the…

Arg!

Wait-wait-wait. Maybe I was just going crazy?

It wasn't like I could actually summon a toucan, right?

I focused on my hand and pop!

There was a toucan.

I stared at the toucan. The toucan stared at me.

After about a minute I said, "…hi?"

"Ayyy," said the toucan.

"It's nice to meet you?"

The toucan just bobbed it's head.

"Are you good?" I asked.

"Yep," said the toucan. "Just chilling."

"That's… good. Do you… need anything?"

"Nah, I'm good. 'Less you got any yummy fruit or bugs."

"I… don't… think I do. Sorry?"

"S'all good."

We stared at each other for another minute.

"I'm-I'm going to see about unsummoning you now," I said.

"Aight."

And then, with a thought, the toucan disappeared.

For a moment I stood there. Then I walked to my bed, flopped down on my pillow, and screamed.

…

After having a mild existential crisis, I remembered my dream. The one in which a disembodied voice declared that I was taking part in something called the Celestial Menagerie.

Well, I wasn't sure a toucan, a barnacle, and a clam monster counted as a menagerie but sure, okay.

…Oh god I was going to get more summons wasn't I.

And with that little bit of emotional crisis going on I decided that I needed to distract myself. Mostly by learning everything I could about where I was because, monsters aside, I still needed to eat. So, to Google maps!

It seemed like I was in a pretty nice area. Convenience store right on the corner, park not too far away, all that nice stuff. I'd have to take a look at what options there were for dining, because I objectively sucked at cooking for myself.

…Once I figured out what my budget was, at least.

A quick check of my bank account showed that I had a few thousand USD. Damn, guess the scholarship didn't cover that much. Still, if my apartment was covered, I could easily stretch those thousands out at least six months. More if I got a remote job or something.

Still, it wasn't like I had anything better to do, so I might as well go out. I pulled my sneakers on, grabbed my purse, made sure I had the keys to my door and headed out.

The sun was high overhead, around noon, and I reminded myself to get a sunhat. Checking my phone I headed to the park I'd seen. It was a cute little thing, some bushes, a few trees, a couple of benches and a pond.

Sitting down on one of the benches I pulled out a breakfast bar and began eating. …It'd probably be a while before I had one of these again, wasn't it. These were an American brand.

As I didn't see a trashcan, I stuffed the wrapper into a pocket and then went over to the pond to see if there were any fish. It wasn't a very big pond but there was still enough water that I could see a few carp swimming around.

"Hi babies," I cooed. I love fish.

One of the fish burbled at me and I instantly knew it was the equivalent of saying hi in fish.

Well. I guess I could talk to my favorite animals now?

That reminded me. I'd tried the toucan. I hadn't tried summoning the clam monster yet.

I looked around. Nobody was there, and the bushes blocked sight from the road.

Alrighty then.

I summoned the Bone Clam, and suddenly before me there it was: a giant clam, containing a single eye and the skulls of it's victims, supported by two muscular arms. There was a near palpable sense of malice around it.

"…Hi," said.

It stared at me. Oh god it was the toucan all over again.

"Are you okay?"

"Hungry," the monster rumbled.

"Okaaay, and what do you eat?"

"Two-legs."

…meaning people.

Suddenly the clam spun. "Danger approaches!" it said.

I unsummoned it quick, and just in time as two blurs hit the ground in front of me. One was a girl with reddish-brown hair in pigtails, and the other was a handsome blonde boy.

The boy said something angry-sounding in Japanese, too fast for me to make out, then the girl said something that contained the Japanese word for "clam".

A moment later more people showed up. A lot of people actually, there was a girl with bright red hair, two tall girls with long black hair, a very short girl with black hair and glasses, and more and more people.

The pig-tailed girl walked over to me and asked me something, but the only word I could make out was "okay?"

"I'm sorry," I said. "My Japanese isn't that good. Hold on."

I went to grab my phone when the pig-tailed girl asked "Oh, would English be better?"

I sighed with relief. "Yes, please."

"Alright. Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm fine," I said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Note to self: whatever that Bone Clam thing was, these people could sense it and they did not like it. Luckily it looked like they didn't think I was the cause of it.

"I thought I saw… something scary!" the pigtailed girl said. "You didn't see it?"

"Oh, it wasn't one of those animatronic things?" I said. Then I added an air-headed giggle for good measure. "You Japanese have such cool things!"

"Yes, it was totally an animatronic," the girl said. "That's absolutely what it was. Taicho!"

The short girl walked over.

"The animatronic didn't hurt her," Pig-tails said, stressing the word animatronic.

"That's good," said the short girl, before she turned to me. "Now. Why aren't you in school?"

I blinked at her. "Well, that's because I haven't started yet," I said. "I start in two days."

Then I was distracted by gaining the ability to… maintain a summons? Huh, I didn't know I had a time limit.

"Ah, would you be Ms. Williams, then?" said the short girl with glasses.

"Huh? Oh right, yes. I'm Maria Williams. Nice to meet you." I held out a hand.

The girl gripped my hand in a firm handshake. "Sona Shitori, or Shitori Sona, in the Japanese tradition. I'm glad to see you arrived safely and are getting settled in-Ms. Williams?"

"Oh ah, sorry. Got caught off guard by your last name. Wasn't expecting someone to be named after a demon family. Is… that common here?"

That was putting it lightly. Considering their reactions to the monster clam, I was beginning to get a bad feeling.

"Well, it's uncommon but not unheard of," Sona said. "In fact, Rias here," she gestured to the girl with brilliant red hair, "has the family name of Gremory."

Rias Gremory. Shit. I knew that name.

"If you don't mind me asking, you're very familiar with the names of demons. Why is that?" Sona asked with a blank face.

Lie! "Oh, my parents are Catholic, and I've always had a taste for the bizarre." I added in another air-headed giggle.

"Bizarre like..?"

"Like the Pastafarians!" I chirped.

The tension that was building up dissipated.

"What are the Pastafarians?" asked Pigtails, who I think was named Tomoe.

"So like a few years ago, a group of people in the US decided to protest against schools being forced to teach the Christian story of the origin of the world. To do so they created their own religion called Pastafarianism. They worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster and consider pirates to be the original Pastafarians."

I could imagine the sweatdrops everyone would have as they stared at me. I waited while they exchanged glances, but no one really seemed to have anything to say to that.

"I hope I'm not disrupting your lunch," I said, to get things going again.

Everyone jolted. "Ah, right!" said Rias. "We still have to finish lunch! It's nice meeting you Ms. Williams!" Then she left with the blonde boy and the girl with the black hair in a ponytail.

"Indeed," said Sona. "I was planning on contacting you later, but since we have met now, do you know the way to the school?"

"Uh yeah, the map in my apartment is very helpful. Thanks for that."

"It wasn't my doing, but your thanks is appreciated. Would you please come by after school has ended, say, around 4?"

"That works for me," I said.

"I will schedule you in," she said, and then left with the rest of the people.

I waited until I could no longer see them, then I collapsed on a bench.

So. I was in High School DXD.

Fuck.

…

I had another mini-crisis over the fact that I was in a world where God was dead and, if I understood Sona correctly, I would now be going to high school again.

A brief glance at my phone confirmed that it was, in fact 2014, which would make me 16 again and explained a LOT.

FUCK. I had to do college again! So many years of hard work, wasted!

Also I was in a city where various factions would probably congregate in to attempt to murder the world, which was really not great.

I'm not sure what it said about me that I was more upset about having to repeat high school.

Something, something, covid trauma? I don't know, and it wasn't important either.

What was important was that I knew the future, probably, and there was likely a ton of shit headed my way. As such, being the wielder of a strange and mystical power, it was clear that the obvious answer for what I should do was to find a reasonable, competent, and powerful adult and tell them about it.

Which, for the record, was not a group of highschoolers.

Rather, I think it would be best if I went for a faction leader, seeing as how those were the only ones I could confirm weren't trying to end the world and could get the other faction leaders to listen to them. Assuming that my memories were correct after all.

Now, my options were Sirzechs, Serafall, Micheal, Gabriel, and Azazel.

Micheal and Gabriel were right out, as I had no way to even figure out how to contact them. I could possibly go to Sirzechs or Serafall, given that I just needed to convince their siblings that I needed to tell them something. But that would pull me into peerage shenanigans which honestly? I didn't want to join a peerage. I wasn't really a fighter, nor was I keen to just give myself over to a rich kid highschooler.

And then there was Azazel. Azazel, who was a researcher that would probably be fascinated with the Celestial Menagerie, and more importantly, was possibly located in Kuoh. I didn't know where in the timeline I was, just that Issei, Xenovia, and Asia weren't a part of the group that had investigated me, so I wasn't sure if Azazel was here yet. However, if he was able to move into Kuoh without anyone from the Devil faction noticing, there was a non-zero chance that he had a place in Kuoh even before everything started.

Assuming that that was when we were.

Still, I figured that Azazel and his goals matched up best with my own, so! To attempt to figure out where Azazel was.

And given that I could now talk to animals…

The convenience store did not sell bird seed, for obvious reasons, but they did sell nuts, which I bought. Then, once I was back at my apartment, I spread the nuts out and started calling for the birds.

They say crows never forget people's faces after all.

No sooner than I had spread the nuts out than I was distracted by gaining the ability to summon a weak creature permanently and the ability to summon a tiny pterodactyl.

A tiny pterodactyl from the SCP universe, with attached SCP file.

Oh dear whatever exists in heaven, Asgard, the afterlife, please let this not be a crossover universe with the SCP-verse. I'll die. Or get shoved into a cage as an SCP, which might be worse than death.

I briefly considered using my new permanent summon ability, but honestly, I didn't have anything worth using it on. Also, I knew that it would require regular care and I didn't think my apartment allowed pets. So that idea was shelved for now.

I could feel it though, in the back of my head. Waiting.

Regardless, I didn't see any birds outside at the moment, and I didn't think that the pterodactyl would summon the demons if the toucan didn't, so I decided to summon the pterodactyl.

The pterodactyl landed in my hand with a soft plop, before looking up at me and squeaking.

It was adorable.

"Hiii baby," I cooed. "Aren't you just the cutest?"

I petted the soft fuzz on the pterodactyl's back as it nuzzled my hand. I'd always wanted a dinosaur. Not sure about all the other BS that was happening, but this? This was nice. I could go for more dinosaurs.

Do not give me a T-Rex, universe.

After a while of petting my newest baby, I started to see some birds popping up. As such, I put Pterry on my shoulder and told him to stay near to me.

Then I called out the birds.

"Hey birdies! I have food! I'll trade food for information!"

That caused a few of them to perk up, but only one was brave enough to actually fly over to me.

"Food?" it asked.

"Yes, for information. I'm looking for a very tall man, blonde hair in front, black hair in back. He looks human but he isn't. He has twelve black wings that he keeps hidden and goes by the name Azazel. If I give you a nut now, will you go look for him?"

"Little food!"

"Okay, then if you find him and tell me where he lives, I'll give you more nuts. Feel free to ask other crows too."

"Give nut!"

I tossed him a peanut and he flew off.

That conversation was repeated a few times with other crows, until half my nuts were gone. Then I packed up and went back inside.

Luckily my apartment info had included how to connect to wifi. Kuoh definitely wasn't the biggest city around, but it did have a decent size. So, it shouldn't be too difficult to find a list of all the mansions in the city. Or at least most of them, especially considering how expensive land was in Japan.

Actually…

If I remember right, there was that tragedy with those school kids, the ones that Azazel took in. That was another way to track them down. Might be a better way, honestly, so I'll try that first.

Googling "Japan high school boat tragedy" came up with "Heavenly Aloha Incident" which included the date and high school, which should be all I needed to track down where the surviving students went. Regardless of if supernatural beings existed or not, they couldn't (or didn't know how to) control the internet, nor could they simply disappear people without causing legal issues for their own members.

From there I was able to track down who owned the schools and businesses they had gone to, which was all put into a nice list of "possibly Grigori owned". That same list was then put back into google with the tag "Kuoh city", which got me a much smaller list of locations. Which made sense obviously, as this was definitely devil territory, and had been for a while. Otherwise, there's no way that Raynere would set up in an abandoned church.

Which honestly suggested that it was unlikely that Azazel was here yet, but as they say, hope springs eternal. Plus, I might be able to get a phone number or email or something.

As I was in the middle of looking up another possible match for a Grigori business, my phone alarm went off, letting me know that I had about half an hour until my appointment with Sona. Taking a quick minute to brush my teeth (goddamnit I was gonna need dental surgery again, wasn't I), I unsummoned Pterry, grabbed my purse, the map, and set off.

Luckily the school was pretty close by. As I walked I typed in who I was, what I was here for, and where I needed to go into Google Translate, because there was no way I knew enough Japanese to be able to communicate it otherwise.

Once I got to the school I showed my phone, still on Google translate, to the guard and he pointed me in the right direction. I still got turned around a few times but managed to end up at the Student Council's office with about two minutes to spare.

When Sona told me to come in, I entered the room. She was seated behind a desk with stacks of paperwork set on it.

"Good. You're on time," Sona said. Then she reached behind her desk and pulled out a bag.

"Here are your school uniforms, both the regular one and the gym uniform. There is a bathroom at the end of the hall. Please go change in there, and make sure that they fit."

"Thanks," I said, as I took the package.

Putting it on was… interesting? I suppose. I never had a school uniform before. I'm pretty sure that the reason Japanese school girls' skirts tended to be so short is because the girls rolled them up, but in this case, the skirts were just naturally miniskirts.

I put it on and frowned. I'd have to see if I could wear bike shorts underneath these. I know I brought a least one.

That was when my power chose to tell me that I could summon parts of my monsters' bodies instead of them. Because reasons I guess.

I suppose, if necessary, I could learn to craft shit? Assuming I got more interesting monsters, it would be cool if I could make my school uniform out of dragon leather or something.

Speaking of school uniforms…

The weird vest/corset thingy wasn't that bad, but I could tell the strips hanging out past the skirt over the knee were going to bother me. Well, I'd worn worse. At least it was cute.

I packed my normal clothes away and walked back to the Student Council room.

Once I got back, Sona had me stand in the middle of the room while she walked around and made sure I was wearing it correctly. I was reminded of a tiny drill sergeant.

Finally, she nodded and said, "Acceptable."

I sighed with relief.

"Now, do you have any questions?" Sona asked.

"Uh, yeah. Am I allowed to wear like, bicycle shorts underneath the skirt?"

Sona paused, then said, "Please do not worry about perverts. I assure you that we keep strict morals here at school."

Uhhh, considering that I was pretty sure the Pervert Trio went here? Press X to doubt.

"That's great, but that's not my concern," I said before muttering, "At least not my main concern. Anyways, I'm trying to avoid chub rub, that's why I want to wear bicycle shorts."

Sona looked blank.

"You know, when your thighs rub together? Oh, right, you probably don't get that." Seriously Sona was tiny; she probably had a thigh gap. "I get it though, and I really hate the sensation, so when I wear dresses or skirts, I put bike shorts on underneath."

"Ah," Sona said, looking vaguely uncomfortable. "Well, generally we avoid anything that might distract from the uniform, so as long as it's not visible and not in bright colors, I'll allow it."

"Okay," I said, fishing in my bag of clothes and holding up my black bike shorts. "Do these work?"

"…Yes."

"Awesome."

After a pause, Sona continued. "While I understand that your Japanese is poor, I still expect you to try and concentrate on school, and not to disrupt your classmates."

"Okay. Can I record the lectures?" I asked.

"Can you… Why do you want to record the lectures?"

"So I can run it through a text-to-speech program, and then a translation program? Or just a translation program if I find one that's good enough. This is a school; I do want to learn." Even if I'd already done all this BS before.

She blinked at me, then smiled. "I see. In that case, I will give permission. Just make sure that it is not disruptive."

"Can do President."

"Well," Sona said. "That is all I wanted to discuss. Please review the student handbook that was sent to your email, and I will see you in two days."

"Alright, see you then."

And with that I was out, with much less pain than I was expecting. I stopped by a convenience store on the way back, getting more nuts and other snacks, then I got a little bit more research done. Finally, after a long, exhausting day, I could curl back up in bed and pass out.

…

I woke up to the sound of a bird tapping on my window.

I opened my eyes, groaned, and got up to pull the curtains back in order to see a crow outside, pecking at my window.

Why…?

Oh.

I grabbed the bag of nuts and opened the door.

"Found him, found him!" the crow chanted.

"Very good," I praised the crow, and then passed him a peanut. "Now, where is he?"

The crow pointed with its beak. "That way!" he said.

"Alright, let me pull up Google maps and a compass…"

I ran back inside for my phone. Once I had it, I ran back out to show the crow.

That was when I ran into a problem: while crows did have a "bird's eye view" of the world, satellite view was a little too difficult for them to properly understand.

After the third time trying to figure out where I needed to go, I decided we needed a change of plan.

"Okay, new idea. Would you be okay riding on my shoulder and telling me where to go?" I asked.

"Will I get food?" the crow asked.

"Sure," I agreed. "In fact, why don't I give you nuts until you get full now, and then I give you all my remaining nuts when we get there?"

Especially since I suspected that the mansion would be rather far away from the school.

"Okay!"

"Alright, let me get you the nuts while I get dressed. Mind waiting for me out here?"

"Food!"

I rolled my eyes as I dumped out the nuts. Bird brain.

I dressed in record time, grabbed a snack and a water bottle, and then safety pinned some napkins to my shoulder to deal with any bird poo.

"Alright, ready?" I asked the crow, who seemed very satisfied.

"Yes!"

The crow hopped onto my shoulder and we were off.

The first hour was pretty nice. The first thing that always struck me when I went to a new country was dealing with most if not all the signs being in another language. If I were in a more rural or suburban area I might have noted the architecture, but all the cities looked similar nowadays.

Then the second hour came, and I started to be grateful for Mom's love of hiking and the stamina it gave me. Which reminded me, she had sent a message asking for pictures. If I passed by a temple or a river or something I'd have to take some.

By hour three my water bottle was almost empty and the crow, who I'd started calling Hopkins, was asking for more nuts. Midway through the resulting shopping spree, I was interrupted by gaining the ability to at-will gain the senses of one of the animals I could summon.

…if I ever gained a canine, I'd have to see what it was like to have that kind of a sense of smell.

Once both Hopkins and I got our food we took a break to eat and relax. It was too bad I didn't have a summon that I could ride, my feet were aching. Well, considering the clam monster perhaps I should say it was too bad I didn't have a summon I could ride and wouldn't summon demons to my location.

Luckily, Hopkins said that we were close.

And by the time hour four rolled around, I was standing in the driveway of a very nice, very new western-looking mansion.

I really, really hoped this was the right place. Tomorrow, I had school and even then, I didn't have the stamina to keep running all over the city. At least I could take a taxi or a bus back to my apartment.

I sighed and emptied my last bag of nuts off to the side of the driveway, so hopefully if there were any cars Hopkins wouldn't get run over.

"Thanks for bringing me here," I told him.

He bobbed his head as he went to town on the nuts.

Alright. Moment of truth. I took a deep breath, then knocked on the door.

After a few moments, a tall man that looked like Azazel poked his head out the door.

"Hi! Are you Azazel, leader of the Grigori?" I asked. "Because I woke up with the ability to summon creatures. Help."

Then I shoved Pterry the pterodactyl in his face.

The man looked at Pterry and blinked. Then he tilted his head.

"Huh," he said. "You know, I've lived a long life, but I gotta say, this is a first." He blinked again, almost contemplatively, before looking at me. "You are right, I am Azazel, come on in."

"Oh thank God," I said as I followed him into the mansion, Pterry chirping happily about the cool looking cave.

Azazel snorted. "Before we get started, how did you find me?" he asked.

"I bribed the crows to help me," I said. "They're good with faces."

"Oh, you can summon crows too?"

"No, but I can talk to animals. It… showed up shortly after I first started being able to summon beings. Along with other powers. They keep coming; it's weird."

"Really?" said Azazel, sounding fascinated as he led me to a sofa. "What have you gotten so far?"

I detailed what I had thus far as Azazel grabbed us both glasses of water. Pterry squeaked and I realized that I might have been holding onto him too hard.

"Sorry," I told him as I let him climb up onto my shoulder.

"That's alright," Azazel said as he set a glass in front of me.

"No uh, I was talking to Pterry, I squeezed him a little bit."

"Oh, I see. Speaking of animals, mind showing me all of your summons?"

"You have some kind of magic hiding thing in this place, right? Last time I summoned the clam monster all the demons instantly knew where he was. Also do you have a lead box or something? I don't really want radiation poisoning from the barnacle."

"I do have a magic concealment ward up," said Azazel, "But I'll have to check regarding proper safety procedures for radioactive animals." He tilted his head, looking somewhat bemused. "That's not normally something I have to worry about."

Wasn't sure if that meant that fallen angels were immune to radiation poisoning or if Azazel just never worked with radioactive materials. Or both. Both was a good possibility.

"Then I'll bring out the clam monster and the toucan." I should really give them names…

The toucan, who I was probably going to call Loops, settled easily on one of the sofa's arms. The clam monster, on the other hand, freaked out.

"Danger!" it cried, staring at Azazel, hunched down and trembling.

"Hey, hey, it's okay!" I said as I got up and ran over to the clam. Really, I should have seen this coming, with how the clam had reacted to the rather low-level devils. "This is Azazel," I said as I pointed to him. "He likes to learn new things; he's not here to hurt you." At least he'd better not. "It's fine, you're safe," I finished as I petted the clam's shell in a way that I hoped was calming.

"Ally?" asked the clam.

"Yes, he's an ally."

"You do realize that those are human bones in there," said Azazel, sounding very amused.

I gave him a look. "Yeah, but those were there when I got… uh…" I looked at the clam, trying to determine their gender. "…them. Those were there when I got them. Actually," I said to the clam, "Do you remember anything from before I got you?"

"No," said the clam, much calmer now.

"So in that case, the clam has done nothing wrong," I told Azazel. "Also the clam is mine now and I love them. Loops, Pterry, that goes for you too."

Azazel started laughing as I explained to Loops that Loops was his name now. But that meant that the clam didn't have a name, and that wasn't fair, so I tried to think of a name while Azazel calmed down. Eventually I just shrugged and decided that basic was good enough.

"Your name is now Vongole," I told the clam.

"Creative," Azazel commented.

"Oh shut up."

"Not gonna name the barnacle?"

"I'm not sure the barnacle is sentient enough to need a name. Once I summon it, I will see if it is intelligent enough to care whether or not it has a name, and if it is, I will give it a name."

Once I said that, I felt the odd sensation that normally accompanied me getting a new summons or ability, but nothing happened.

"Yes?" said Azazel.

"Nothing," I said. "Felt like I was getting a new power or creature for a moment, but I didn't."

"Huh." Azazel looked at me for a moment. "Well, now that you've shown me yours," he said with a smile as I glared at him for the phrasing, "What is it that you're seeking?"

"I'm sorry?"

Azazel gestured at himself. "Darling, I'm the leader of the Grigori, a celestial faction that is almost as old as your entire species, with powers your mortal mind can barely comprehend. And yet, you sought me out. Not the church. Not the devils. Not even my underlings. Me. So," he tilted his head with a smile that looked a lot less friendly than the one he wore before. "What do you want?"

"Okay," I said as I took a deep breath and sat back down on the sofa. "This is going to sound absolutely batshit insane, but please hear me out.

"Two days ago, I woke up in Japan, eight years younger than I was when I fell asleep in Arizona, with everything indicating that that I had somehow gone back in time and gotten a scholarship to study aboard here that I don't remember getting."

"At the same time as you first gained the ability to summon things."

"Yes, but that's not important. Well, not as important as why I'm coming here. You see, before I was… brought here, one of the shows I liked to watch was called "Highschool DxD". It was about the wielder of the Boosted Gear that held the soul of Ddraig and the wielder's harem. At first it was pretty typical shonen harem stuff you know, rescuing girls and all that.

"But then it started to get more serious."

Azazel had stopped smiling now.

"A threat emerged, the Chaos Brigade," I continued. "Consisting of former members of all three factions and many minor ones besides. On the surface, they were being led by Ophis the Ouroboros dragon in order to take down the Great Red and reclaim her home in the dimensional divide. In reality, there was a power behind the throne. Rizevim Lucifer, learning about Trihexa, the beast of the apocalypse, decided that such a powerful weapon would be better used to cross the dimensional divide and wage war on all other worlds in order to prove his power. In other to do so, he had slowly subverted the Chaos Brigade, and, with the use of the Sephiroth Graal, is seeking out the location of the Trihexa to unseal it."

I looked down at my hands in my lap.

"I don't know if what I saw was accurate," I said. "Frankly, I'm really, really hoping that it isn't. But… if it is real," I looked up at Azazel, "Then we've got about a year, possibly less than that, until an apocalypse scenario. You want to know what I want? I want you to try and prevent the end of the world."

Azazel looked at me for a moment. "Heavy stuff. You understand that I'll have to verify what you said, right?" he said.

"Of course. What do you need to do?"

Azazel got up. "Well, first I'm going to knock you out, then while you're unconscious and totally helpless I'll read your memories and see if you're lying to me."

"Fun," I sighed, then turned so I was lying down on the sofa, head resting on the arm.

"That's it? No protests?"

"Let's not kid ourselves here, you could do just about anything to me whether I'm unconscious or not, and I'd be powerless to stop you. Also? I know I'm not lying. I might be crazy, but I'm definitely not lying." I remembered Vongole, Pterry, and Loops. "Oh, one second. Vongole? Azazel is going to knock me out. It is okay, you don't need to try and defend me or anything."

Vongole made a noise of assent.

"Pterry, Loops? If Azazel does anything weird, take a dump in his drink."

Azazel laughed as he sat on the edge of the sofa by my head. "Well, if you're done," he said, "Then relax and think of England."

"Screw you," I muttered as his hands descended on my head and everything went black.

…

I woke up with a crick in my neck and a slight headache. Something small and warm nuzzled my cheek.

"Pterry?" I slurred, as I opened my eyes.

Pterry chirped, "Hi! You're up!"

"Yeah, I'm up," I said.

I sat up to see everything the way I had left it, save that outside the window it was dark. How long was I out?

I sat up and grabbed the glass of water Azazel had given me earlier. The inside of my mouth tasted fuzzy. After a brief check to make sure it really was normal water I downed it. Then I took a look around.

Loops was siting on the table now, next to a banana peel and Vongole seemed to be chewing something. There was also a small bowl of berries, nuts, and jerky that looked relatively untouched. Did Azazel try to feed my animals while I was out? That was surprisingly sweet for a man that had been acting kinda psycho right before he knocked me out.

Speaking of which, where was he?

I got up to take a look around and, as if by magic Azazel walked back into the room.

Gone was the chill man I had met right when he first opened the door and gone was the psycho who had knocked me out. His brow was furrowed as he typed something into a phone.

"You're awake? Good," he said, before pinning me with a stare. "Now, I need you to answer me seriously: do you truly wish to join the Grigori?"

I blinked, before answering. "Yes, that is why I came here."

"Excellent."

He slapped down a paper as I was distracted by gaining the ability to summon a humanoid combat robot, that was apparently originally supposed to help make wastelands safe for human life but got their wires crossed and decided to eliminate all life. Why.

"Sign this quickly," he said, "Then get on Vongole. I'm going to teleport us, and then I need you to follow my lead."

"Okay," I said, signing. "Just make sure you get me a copy of the contract. Also, I just got a combat robot."

"That's- right, we'll go over that later," Azazel said as I tried to find the best way to get on Vongole. I ended up kneeling with my legs in the grooves of its shell and my hands gripping the lip on either side of its eye.

I unsummoned Pterry and Loops, getting ready for whatever was going on. Both of them disappeared, and as soon as they were gone a magic circle appeared under Vongole and Azazel. I briefly felt the rather unpleasant sensation of TV static moving through my entire body, and then we were in a forest.

And right in front of us was a clearing, full of magical circles, with three fallen in the sky and two devils on the ground.

Good news, I now knew where I was in canon. Bad news, we popped in right in the middle of the fight between Rias's peerage and Raynare's group.

There was a pause as all sides took in the new situation.

"Ha!" shrieked one of the Fallen, the little girl. "Now that Lord Azazel is backing us up, it's over for you!"

"No," said Azazel. "No, I'm not here to back anyone up. I'm here to investigate reports of a Fallen cell going rogue. Now what the hell is going on here!?"

Again, there was a pause as both groups tried to figure out exactly what was happening.

"Oh for- where is Asia Argento?" Azazel asked.

"The wielder of Twilight Healing?" asked the male Fallen hesitantly.

"Yes," said Azazel slowly. "Asia Argento, the wielder of Twilight Healing, the newest recruit who was supposed to be sent to the Nephilim Institute for training first and then to Kuoh. The girl who I was hoping would act as a diplomatic envoy to the Satan's sisters. Where is she?"

I watched as the three Fallen slowly realize that they had fucked up. Azazel saw it too, and with a frown he waved his arms and the clearing flashed with brilliant light.

I blinked back spots in my eyes to see the three Fallen unconscious and wrapped up in glowing chains.

That was a useful spell, why wasn't it used in canon more often?

"Apologies, Heiress Gremory," Azazel said. "But I must rush to see to the safety of Ms. Argento. I will speak to you afterwards."

"That's-" Rias started to say, but Azazel was already running towards the church I could see vaguely over the trees.

"After him," I told Vongole, because he told me to follow his lead and like hell I was going to stay in the creepy forest after dark with the sadistic miko and the probably frustrated little sister of Lucifer.

Vongole gripped the land beneath their hands and bolted after Azazel. I bounced painfully on their shell as they ran.

"Wha- Hey!" yelled one of the girls as we passed them.

"Sorry!" I yelled back.

We made it in the doors of the church in time to hear Raynare yell, "And once I take his Sacred Gear, I'll use it to make the Grigori strong!"

We skidded to a stop inside, earning a brief glance from Raynare, two boys, and a girl, but they turned back to Azazel as he said, "That wasn't what I ordered! I ordered you to keep a watch on the suspected wielder of a dragon-type Sacred Gear and Asia Argento."

Raynare looked confused. "But I did?" she said.

"By murdering them!?" Azazel just about shrieked, and with a wince I noticed that the brown-haired boy was holding the body of a blonde girl. Ah, we were too late to save Asia.

"Of course?" said Raynare. "Once I confirmed that Hyoudou was a likely wielder of a dragon-typed Sacred Gear, I determined that he would be a poor match for the Grigori, and as willful as dragons tended to be it would be better to simply kill him instead of letting another faction recruit him or having him go on a rampage. That's why I submitted an application to kill him. And while Argento showed great skill in wielding Twilight Healing, she was far too timid to be a proper soldier, and as such it was better to extract the Sacred Gear and give it to someone capable of battle."

"H-hey!" yelled the boy that was probably Issei, before everyone was distracted by Azazel doing a facepalm.

"Raynare," he said, face still in his hand. "We don't just just go around killing normal people because they have Sacred Gears and wouldn't be good recruits. The only time we kill Sacred Gear users is if they a) attack us first, b) have joined another faction, or c) they've gone mad with power and are threatening the public's safety. Neither Hyoudou Issei nor Asia Argento fit into any of those categories."

"But Lord Kokabiel said-"

"Raynare," Azazel cut her off, finally looking up at her. "Kokabiel has gone rogue. He's probably been rogue for a while now."

"What?" she asked. "He, what? No, no he-he can't. He can't be." She was starting to look a little unhinged. "You-you have to be misinformed. Someone must have misinformed you. Someone, someone must have lied." She looked around wildly, before locking onto me.

"You," she hissed, before she reared back and dove.

I reacted without thinking.

A solid suit of robotic armor appeared in front of me. Without even pausing it lifted whatever weapon it held and fired.

Crack-crack-crack-crack

I covered my ears and closed my eyes at the sound of an unsilenced gun going off right in front of me. After a moment I opened my eyes to see the robot lumbering forward, gun pointed out, with something green glowing in front of it.

"Wait, stop!" I yelled. I didn't want Raynare dead.

My power decided that this was a great time to distract me by dumping some kind of pinching alien on me.

"-detected," said the robot. "Destroy hostile entity?"

"I- no," I said, refocusing. Hostile entity must mean Raynare. Considering that Azazel bound the others... "Hostile entity is to be detained," I said, before adding "Alive. Hostile entity is to be detained alive. Return and assume defensive position."

"Destroy other hostile entities?" It asked as it turned around and walked back towards me.

"What other hostile entities?" I asked.

The robot responded by stopping and pointing its gun at Azazel, the three Occult club members, and then Rias and Akeno, who must have come in the door after me.

"No!" I said. "Those are not hostile entities. Those are potentially hostile entities. Don't fire at them unless they attack first." Which was possible, depending on how this whole thing turned out. "Except for him," I said while pointing at Azazel. "He's an ally. And don't point guns at people unless I say so."

"Thanks," Azazel snorted as he walked over behind the robot. I looked around it to watch him walk over to where Raynare was weakly trying to get to her feet. He waved his hand and once again there was a flash of light and Raynare was unconscious and chained up.

Rias took that as an opportunity as an opportunity to step forward. "Governor-general Azazel," she said. "I wasn't informed of your… presence here. You are aware that Kuoh town is Gremory and Sitri territory, correct?"

I could see Rias's peerage tense, and probably-Kiba lean over to explain things to probably-Issei.

"I am aware," Azazel said. "And if I had time, I would have informed you beforehand, but I only just received word of a rogue cell, and considering their plans and location, I thought it would be best to intervene as soon as possible."

Rias peered at him. "You claim that this cell's actions are great enough to need the direct intervention of a faction leader?" she asked, sounding skeptical.

"Considering who they ended up involving? Yes."

His reply seemed to throw her for a loop, and Azazel took the opportunity to turn his attention to Asia's body.

"I'm sorry I was too late," he said with regret as Issei held Asia's body protectively. I noted uncomfortably that with her dress ripped I could see way more of her body than I liked.

"Out in the forest," Rias started. "You said that you had intended for her to be a diplomatic envoy to me?"

"You and Heiress Sitri, yes," Azazel said, before tilting his head. "Ah, you do have some pieces left, correct?" Wait, was he…?

"She was Issei's friend, and she deserved better," Rias said in a way I think she intended to come off as lofty but ended up as defensive.

I could see the looks of realization dawn on the faces of the Occult Research Club. "Will you give her that opportunity?" Azazel asked.

"I would like to," Rias said.

"You'll need these," Azazel said as he held up the rings that were Twilight Healing.

Rias gritted her teeth. "What do you want for them?" she asked.

"Promise me," Azazel said. "That you will help her live happily."

Rias nearly rocked back on her heels. "That's it?" she asked.

"As the one who failed to protect her, how could I ask anything less," Azazel said, as he held out the rings.

Rias looked at Twilight Healing, then looked at Azazel's face. Finally, she nodded and said, "I promise," as she took the rings.

I wasn't entirely sure I got everything out of that exchange, but I had a feeling that Azazel had just pulled off a move worthy of a Magnificent Bastard. Well, he did say to follow his lead, and Asia's… outfit was uncomfortable to look at.

I slipped off Vongole and approached the group as I took off my jacket.

Issei was the one who reacted first. "What?" he asked, body and voice defensive.

I held out my jacket, to his visible confusion.

I sighed. "Look at the state of her dress," I said. "Let her have some dignity."

"Wha-I can give her my jacket!" he said.

"Okay?" I said. "Then do so?"

Considering that in the anime they just resurrected her as is, half her chest out and everything, I found her state really questionable. Did no one have any issue with that in this world!? Seriously I know this is an ecchi series but you'd think sexualizing the brutally murdered corpse of a young girl would be a step too far…

Issei huffed at me as he gently set Asia down, took off his coat, and wrapped it around her slim shoulders. As he did so, I nodded, stepped back, and put my own coat back on, which was nice because it was chilly out during nighttime in spring.

"Ah," said Azazel next to me as I felt a hand settle on my head. "You guys haven't formally been introduced yet, right? After Heiress Gremory resurrects Asia, I'll explain things. We have a lot to talk about."

"We do," said Rias with deadly promise.

With that, Azazel and I walked away from the group, Vongole and the robot following me, over to a corner of the church in order to give the ORC some semblance of privacy. I still felt like I was intruding on something too personal, so I started to check over the body of my new robot.

"Looking for something?" Azazel asked.

"Yeah, trying to see if there's like, a data port or something. As far as I can tell this thing is completely mechanical, and not magically mechanical either, so it would make sense for it to be run by a computer program. I'm wondering if I can lift a copy of the programing and decipher it for personal use."

Azazel made an interested noise, then knelt down so that the ORC couldn't see what he was doing and summoned a laptop.

"Well, let's see," he said.

I couldn't see any open data ports, which made sense considering that this thing was obviously meant to work in heavy duty terrain and weather, and an open data port in a rainstorm was just asking for trouble. After briefly being distracted by my power trying and failing to grab anything, I eventually just asked the robot where it had a data port.

There was a brief whrr-click and a segment of the armor in the back flipped back to reveal an American style plug in. I held up the cable to the port and it actually shifted to accommodate the plug. Huh.

Once the plug was in, we very promptly ran into an issue where the software of the computer was incompatible with the software used for the robot. Also? For a robot that looked like it had been made by welding slab metal power armor together the file size for the programing was massive.

I glanced over at Azazel, who had mostly just watched me work. "You have any experience with computer stuff like this?" I asked.

"No," he said, sounding interested. "My specialty has always been Sacred Gears, and computers have only been around for a few decades. But if you continue to get robots, I may have to pick up some skills, as this looks like this sort of thing could be very useful for my research." He smiled. "Humans continue to astound me with how fast they innovate."

Ah, right, he's probably like six thousand years old minimum. Computers were pretty much the new-fingaled thingabob all the kids were raving about comparatively.

"Well, I don't know a lot," I said. "But if you have questions, I can try to answer, or at least figure out how to google the answer."

Azazel laughed. "You might regret that," he said.

I shrugged and tried to decide which of the folders I should copy over to the laptop for perusal, because I certainly didn't have enough room for all of them. And if I would need to save the programing as text in a Word doc.

I was about halfway through copying the first file I had chosen, something called "Wasteland Management Protocol", when Rias walked over and interrupted.

"We're finished," she said with a glare. "And I've taken the liberty of calling up Sona Sitri, so that both of us can hear what you think that you're doing."

"Sounds great," said Azazel as he stood up, completely at ease. "Although there is one more person I hope you'll call."

"Who?" Rias asked suspiciously.

Azazel smiled. "Your brother," he said.

The tension ratcheted up again.

Rias and Azazel stared at each other, one suspicious and one calm. In the background, I saw Kiba whisper something to Issei.

"Ehhh!?" Issei yelled before Kiba put a hand over his mouth. Rias and Azazel glanced at him before returning to their staring contest.

"You don't have the strength to hurt my brother," Rias hissed.

"Good thing I'm not planning to," Azazel said. "In fact, I was rather hoping to help him."

Rias's eyes narrowed. "He doesn't need your help," she said.

"Heiress Gremory?" Azazel said. "We all need help. We need so much help, and as soon as Heiress Sitri gets here, I would be happy to explain."

Rias continued to stare at him, probably trying to figure out what trick he was pulling. This continued for a few minutes, or at least long enough that it was getting awkward, and I was wondering if I could get away with continuing with my work.

Then Vongole shifted behind me to look at the front door. I turned to see Sona Sitri and her peerage marching in, all in lockstep, wearing crisp, fresh uniforms. It probably would have been impressive and intimidating if they weren't, you know, teenagers.

Azazel smiled at them and said, "Welcome, Heiress Sitri and Peerage," as I stood up as well, inwardly sighing about being unable to finish.

"Governor-general Azazel," Sona said as she came to a stop in front of us. "I do hope you have a good explanation for ignoring our sovereign rights as overseers of Kuoh?"

"Of course," he said, still smiling. "But first, have you been introduced to the Grigori's newest member? This is Maria Williams, wielder of the Celestial Menagerie."

I tried to hide my discomfort as everyone's attention focused on me.

"We've met," Sona said. "Although I'm not familiar with that Sacred Gear."

"I'm not surprised, it's very rare," said Azazel. Were we going with the Celestial Menagerie being a Sacred Gear then? I guess it fit, although I'm pretty sure it wasn't made by God.

"Since I see some new faces," Azazel continued. "Why don't I give a quick lesson. As most of you know, while most Sacred Gears contain a soul within them, a few rare Sacred Gears are made from particularly powerful artifacts, such as Incinerate Anthem being made from the Cross. Well, the Celestial Menagerie was made from Noah's Ark, the boat that carried the remaining humans and animals safe from the Great Flood.

"This is important, because the reason the Celestial Menagerie is so rare is because, like Noah's Ark, it only shows up prior to a potentially world-ending threat."

Azazel paused to let that sink in, and I saw everyone's faces change as they realized what he was saying.

"It won't happen in the next few days," he said. "Or even months, I checked. But I hope you can understand why I became incredibly concerned when my newest acquisition ended up being sent to Kuoh of all places, not Nephilim Academy."

"And that is why you intervened?" Sona said, sounding it out like she was testing the logic.

"Yes," Azazel said. "I do sincerely apologize for crossing the boundary. Unfortunately, I wasn't certain why she had been sent here, and if it was on purpose, who had done so. Considering that you two are the sisters of Lucifer and Leviathan, I was also concerned that this might have been a set-up to cause an incident serious enough to restart the war, and as such I decided to be stealthy."

Everyone shivered as they imagined what could have happened, although mine was because the Celestial Menagerie took the opportunity to dump the first dragon I had gotten on me, something called a Cyclarion that shot flaming rock missiles and was desperate for attention.

"Of course, as soon as I got here, I promptly found new things to be concerned about," Azazel said with a tired sigh as he looked at the devastation of the church around him. He turned to Asia. "With that in mind, I would like to apologize to you," he said. "You should have never been in danger."

"Oh!" she said, startled. "It's okay. You still tried to rescue me, right? So I forgive you." Asia smiled at Azazel sweetly.

Azazel smiled at her. "Thank you, Sister. I would bless you if I could."

"You mentioned that she was originally going to be sent here after being trained?" Rias said, as Sona sent her a sharp look.

Azazel nodded. "Yes," he said. "My plan was to assign Asia as a diplomat to the devil faction here in Kuoh. Given that Twilight Healing is both incredibly useful and a non-combat Sacred Gear along with Asia's peaceful and gentle personality, she would have easily made friends with both of you, and thus after school it would have provided closer diplomatic ties between the Grigori and the devil faction. Of course, best laid plans of mice and men…" he waved a hand at the church.

"Regardless," he continued. "I'd like to go back to a previous point. Given that we have a potentially apocalyptic situation on our hands, would you be so kind as to call your brother Heiress Gremory? I'd like to establish some form of contact so that we can planning what to do as soon as possible."

Rias hesitated before nodding. "Alright," she said. "But I'm warning you, if this is some kind of set-up of your own, my brother will make you regret it."

Azazel raised both hands in surrender. "I wouldn't dream of it."

Rias shot him another look before walking off and opening her phone, leaving her peerage and the Student Council to just sort of stand around aimlessly. Not quite certain what to do, I sat back down and went back to transferring files over to the laptop.

"If you don't mind me asking," Sona said cautiously as she saw me start up. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, whatever this thing is exactly," I said as I pointed up at the robot, "it's completely mundane. Pure, conventionally made technology. I'm trying to see if I can copy the programing and figure it out."

"You think you can?" she asked.

I shrugged. "In America I was on my school's competitive robotics team. My specialty was business and making sure we had enough funding, but my dad was the advisor on programing, and I picked some of it up." Also, I had learned some programming as an adult for hobby and career purposes.

A blonde boy with strange eyebrows, who I think was Saji, looked up at the robot. "You summoned this? Cause it isn't the sort of thing I'd expect from a Sacred Gear based on Noah's Ark," he said.

"I know, it's fascinating!" Azazel said. "For obvious reasons I haven't had much experience with the Celestial Menagerie, so this is new territory to me. My theory is that, as someone who grew up in the modern era, Maria's knowledge and idea of what constitutes a living creature is much broader than someone who lived in the ancient times, and so the Celestial Menagerie has changed in support."

"Is that what it does?" one of the girls in Sona's peerage asked. "Summon living beings?"

"Ah, yes," Azazel said. "The wielder of the Celestial Menagerie can summon living beings, starting off with one or two, and gaining access to more beings as time goes on. It also comes with supplementary powers like being able to talk to animals."

I debated telling him about the dragon and the alien, but decided that given who we were surrounded by, that might not be the best idea.

"So she can- I mean you, you can talk to snakes?" said the girl with brown twin braids.

"Probably," I said. "Although I haven't run into a snake yet to check."

"So you're a Slytherin?" she said in a teasing voice.

Ah, a bookworm. I tried to hide the wince as I thought of what had become of JK Rowling after 2018.

"Ravenclaw, actually," I said. Possibly Gryffindor, or "Lion" considering that one quiz, but I'd consistently gotten a "Bird" secondary and I liked reading so Ravenclaw it was.

"Same," she said with a smile. "Now, are you a muggleborn, halfblood, or pureblood?"

I snorted. "Read every book, but only saw a few movies, so you tell me."

"Hmmm." She tapped her lip but didn't make a judgement.

That was when Rias came over.

"My brother is coming," she said, still suspicious.

I nodded, then, remembering when Vongole first met Azazel, turned back to where he was given a wide berth by everyone.

"Hey Vongole?" I said, and its eye swiveled to look at me. "Another really powerful person is going to show up. They aren't going to attack me or you," probably. "It will be okay, so you don't have to defend me or anything." I leaned back to pat it on the lip of its shell and pretended that I didn't hear someone whisper about how creepy Vongole was.

I mean, if I hadn't been his summoner I probably would have agreed, but he'd been my first and thus he was special, and I loved him.

I turned back to my laptop, pausing only to get the power to automatically receive a small, powerless creature every time I got a "normal" creature.

…huh. I had no idea what that would mean.

I spent a few more minutes copying over the last of the file, before saving it as a word doc for safety. Then I was going back through the list of files trying to decide what else to copy when everyone suddenly shifted.

I glanced up to see a handsome red-haired man with the most elaborate pauldrons I had ever seen walk through the doorway of the church. Ah, so this was Lucifer.

I closed the laptop as I had a momentary moment of hysteria imagining how my evangelical family members would react if they heard I'd met the devil in an abandoned church.

"Azazel," said Lucifer.

"Sirzechs Lucifer," Azazel replied.

"I heard that you have some kind of evidence that we have an apocalyptic situation on our hands?" he said lightly before his tone darkened. "Evidence strong enough that you felt secure interfering with my sister's territory."

I stood up as Azazel nodded, not looking fazed at all. "I assume that Heiress Gregory already explained the particulars?"

"Yes. Especially about this Sacred Gear that I've never heard of."

Azazel shrugged. "And how many apocalyptic situations has Earth found itself in lately?" he asked.

Lucifer tilted his head, but his expression did not change. "It's still not evidence I'm willing to accept," he said.

"How about this then?" Azazel rested his hand on my head. "The wielder of the Celestial Menagerie, much like Noah did, also comes with a vision of the future where the apocalypse in question happens. Would you like to view it?"

Ah, I was probably going to need to be knocked out again. I should probably be scared but… honestly the day was wearing on me, and I was just tired.

Lucifer stared at Azazel. "Yes," he said eventually.

"Maria…" Azazel started but I was already walking over to a pew.

"You need to knock me out, right?" I said, as I looked for something that I could use as a pillow. Unfortunately, all of the bibles or soft objects had already been taken from the church, so I ended up just taking my wallet and my phone out of my purse and using that.

"I think I will be the one doing that," Lucifer said firmly.

"Alright."

His eyebrows raised. "You trust Azazel enough to know he will prevent me from hurting you?" he asked.

I shrugged as best I could while laying down. "You featured prominently enough in the visions that I feel like I have a bead on your personality," I said. "And you don't seem like the kind of person to hurt an unarmed noncombatant that is doing as you asked, on another side or not."

He tilted his head, but his face remained the same as he walked over and gave me déjà vu as his hands lowered and everything went dark.

…

I woke up to someone gently shaking my shoulder. Opening my eyes I saw there was a blurry dark figure I could barely make out.

Grabbing my glasses I put them on to reveal that Azazel had been the one to wake me up. I looked around as he stepped back to see that some of the younger devils had left while I was out, notably Kiba, Asia, Issei, and some of the student council girls. I couldn't see Rias either, which was strange, but her queen and Sona was here. The bound fallen angels were also missing.

Lucifer was some ways away, standing with his back to me and oddly hunched over. After a moment I saw a slim hand reach out from in front of him to pat his back.

Ah, that was where Rias went.

…yeah, I could see why Lucifer would want to hug her. The future was… rough.

I took the moment to gather myself and put my things back in my purse. I had a headache again, which looked like it was just a side effect of whatever it was that they needed to do to read my memories. I hoped they wouldn't need to do this often.

After a moment, Azazel gently cleared his throat.

Lucifer paused and twisted his neck to look at him. "…I will need to confirm some of those visions," he said.

"I understand," Azazel said. "But we still need to decide what to do with Maria here."

I perked up as I heard my name.

Azazel continued. "As much as I'd like to take her to Nephilim Academy," he said as he glanced over at Raynare and her group. "I clearly need to do some house cleaning, and I'm concerned what will happen in the meantime."

Big same. I didn't know a lot about Nephilim Academy, but I did remember something about a class going rogue.

"You'd like her to stay here?" asked Lucifer.

"She's already enrolled and has no plans to harm anyone. If anything, she'll happily help out. Furthermore, it will act as a layer of camouflage. No one would think that I'd leave a critical sacred gear within easy reach of two young devils gathering their peerage."

While I'm not sure if I want to stay in a place where it seemed the city got attacked every few weeks, on other hand, at least I'd know what was coming.

"You're not concerned about her choosing to switch sides?"

"Maria isn't interested."

I raised my hand, and when Lucifer and Azazel looked at me, I said, "Can confirm. Not that you don't seem like great people, but while I'm ambiguous on remaining human I don't want to decide who I want to spend the rest of my life with based on who they are as a teenager." That was just… no. "And Sacred Gear or not, the idea of an adult interested in me to that level just feels wrong."

"You're… ambiguous on remaining human." Lucifer didn't seem to know how to take that.

"Look, depending on the implant, I would 100% be down to become a cyborg. Or heck, if I knew it wouldn't go poorly, same on genetic engineering."

The devils gave me weird looks while Azazel broke down laughing and I got the feeling that I had once again missed getting a new summon.

"Oh, you're going to be fun," he said as he finished laughing.

"Thanks?"

"No problem!" Azazel said cheerfully. "But anyways, yes I'd like to keep her enrolled at Kuoh Academy."

Lucifer looked at his sister and Sona. "That would be up for the Supervisors of Kuoh," he said.

Both Rias and Sona sharpened up quickly.

"Right, yes, um-" "Ah, of course-" They looked at each other, and started gesturing at each other.

After a moment when it looked like they weren't going to resolve this immediately I said, "Uhhh, would you like a moment to discuss things?"

They looked at me. "Um, yes," said Rias. "Please give us a moment," said Sona. Then Sona made a gesture and suddenly I couldn't hear them at all while they huddled together talking animatedly.

I crossed my arms and waited for them to finish.

After a few moments, they separated and after briefly adjusting themselves to look more official they started.

"You will need to follow all school rules," Sona started.

"Sure."

"During free time you'll have to spend time with one of our peerages to make sure you aren't up to any mischief," Rias continued.

"Okay."

"If you harm any students of Kuoh, we will make you regret it," Sona said.

"Wasn't planning on it". Not like there were any evil Kuoh students from what I remembered.

"You'll need to assist our peerages if we need it," Rias said.

"As long as I have enough time for my schoolwork," I said.

"Acceptable," said Sona, who peered at me. "You're being very accommodating," she said.

"Well, you haven't asked for anything I wasn't already planning on doing," I said. "I mean, except for the 'spending all free time with your peerages' but everyone seems pleasant, so I doubt that'll be too hard."

"You were planning on assisting our peerages?" Rias asked.

"Once I figured out who you were, yes," I said. "Look, all of you have pretty versatile and strong abilities, and you seem to be the kind of people who would try to prevent the end of the world. If I help you, that means you are more capable of preventing the end of the world, which I something I care a lot about. Therefore, I should help you. Does that make sense?"

"Yessss," said Rias suspiciously. "And you are aware that as high-class devils, Sona and I have devastating power? Power that we will turn on you if you misstep?"

Well, she'd been pretty accommodating in the story, so I didn't think it was that bad.

"Yes, I'm aware I will be going to school with people that can kill me if I do the wrong thing," I said. "It'll be just like home!"

A beat, while once more I got a ton of weird looks.

I sighed. "That was a joke about American school shootings," I said.

Everyone choked, although I suspect Azazel's choking had been cutting off laughter.

"Ah, yes, well," Sona said. "Ahem. Do you have any questions?"

I thought for a moment.

"If I do go to Kuoh Academy, can I wear stockings for the first few weeks?" I asked.

"Whhhhy do you want to wear stockings?" Sona asked suspiciously.

"Because I'm pretty sure my knees are hella bruised from riding Vongole and I don't want to have to explain that to my classmates," I said.

"You'll still have to wear regular socks for gym class," she said.

"Ah. Damnit. Well, still, it would probably mean less questions."

"Very well then," Sona said, as she looked to Rias, who nodded.

"Should you accept our rules," Sona started. "We the Supervisors of Kuoh Territory…"

"Are prepared to accept the Grigori member Williams Maria as a resident," Rias said.

"Thank you," I said. "I do accept the rules." Then I paused. "Do we shake now or something...?"

Both girls put their hands out at the same time, then looked at each other and tried to silently communicate that their hand should be shaken first. I solved the issue by simply shaking both hands at the same time.

There was a flash of light and I looked over to see Lucifer holding a camera and smiling happily. "Ah," he said. "My little sister is growing into a fine woman."

"Big brother!" Rias just about shrieked as she practically teleported over to him to demand that he not embarrass her when she is working.

Seeing as how everything appeared to be over, I sighed and walked back over to Azazel.

"Are we done?" I asked, more than a little tired.

"Just about," he said, before calling out "Sirzechs Lucifer?"

Lucifer looked up, once more with a guarded expression. "Yes?"

"Permission to withdraw for the evening?"

He paused. "Granted. However, I will expect you to make some form of repayment for stepping over the boundaries, necessity or not."

"No worries," Azazel said. "I was thinking about offering specialized training to Heiress Gremory and Heiress Sitri?"

"You will need to discuss that with them," he said.

Azazel nodded. "Maria will be able to get in touch with me," he said as I unsummoned Vongole and the robot.

Then we turned to leave. As we exited the doors to the church, I looked up at Azazel. "If you're taking me home, do you mind if we stop by a McDonald's or something?" I asked. "I haven't eaten since lunch, and I'm pretty sure it's past dinner now."

"Sure," he said.

Once more a magic circle appeared under us and there was a brief moment of static before we were in an alleyway. Exiting the alley I realized that we were right across the street from the golden arches.

While we were waiting to cross the street, I once more missed a chance to gain a summons. Thinking about what I wanted to get, I remembered that this was 2014 and I had no idea if they had the super nice multilanguage ordering kiosks I'd been used to in East Asian countries when I lived in Korea.

"Hey," I said to Azazel. "I might need help ordering."

He looked surprised and then laughed. "Oh, I forgot to tell you," Azazel said. "While you were unconscious, I enchanted your glasses to automatically translate Japanese into English for you."

"Wait, seriously?" I took my glasses off to look at them. The didn't seem any different, but it wasn't like I would know what to look for. "Thanks!"

"Eh, I had a feeling you were going to join the Grigori, and if you did that would make you my responsibility. That being said, did you not notice that everyone appeared to speaking English in the church?"

I shrugged. "I know that devils have some form of automatic language ability," I said. "I guess I just thought they were using that or had some form of All-speak to ensure everyone understood them." I tilted my head as we walked into the McDonalds. Luckily it appeared that they did in fact have a kiosk. "Anyways, how exactly does the translation work?"

Azazel raised an eyebrow. "Is this really the place to be asking about such a thing?" he asked.

Ah, right, you're not supposed to talk about magic and all that around normies. Wow I was tired. Then again… "We're in a mostly empty fast-food restaurant super late at night. I don't think anyone here cares about our roleplaying game." Also, I'm pretty sure Issei, Kiba, and the exorcist girls had their whole pre-fighting Valpier pow wow in a restaurant and no one noticed.

"Fair enough," Azazel said as he shrugged. I got the feeling that he didn't actually care that much. "The temple tips of the glasses translate the language you hear, the lenses translate what you see, and the nose bridge translates what you say."

"What if someone is trying to read my lips? Or notices that my mouth isn't matching up to what I'm saying?"

"Small distraction field around your mouth. So someone with no magic ability who's trying to look at your mouth would have a hard time focusing on it."

"Might be useful. What about writing?"

"There you will have trouble. However I'm fairly certain you won't have to write anything in the first few days, and I'll see about getting you a solution in the meantime."

"What about cultural differences in speaking? Like suffixes like -chan and -kun, or different formalities?"

"You'll come off as slightly formal, and it's set to use more informal suffixes if you are asked to while wearing the glasses."

"Oh, that's fascinating. If I have spare time, I might bug you for a book on how it all works." I realized that I had basically just interrogated Azazel over a gift that he gave me. "Ah, sorry. I just… I always wanted magic to be real," I said.

He laughed as he ordered. "I'm not upset. Frankily, as someone who has dedicated their life to research, it's refreshing to have a student who is also interested in learning."

"Is that unusual?" I'd only really seen DXD and part of Slash/Dog, which were admittedly both featuring characters that had other things to worry about than academics, but it couldn't be that all sacred gear users were like that… right?

"It's more so than I would like." Azazel shrugged as I ordered. "Unfortunately, most sacred gear wielders I work with tend to focus on combat or personal strength. Which is completely understandable, given their circumstances, but it means that many completely pass over learning traditional magic, even if they have a talent for it, simply because focusing solely on their Sacred Gears offers more power quicker."

Once I was finished ordering, Azazel stepped up to pay. "And then when it comes to traditional magic wielders," he said, "many are trained by their families, religious figures, or whatever mage or order scouted them, so I don't meet them until they've already gained something akin to mastery. Plus, given my epic legend, many find me intimidating. I think they're just afraid of my brilliance." He flashed me a grin.

"Hey, if you're willing to teach, I am down to learn." We walked over to wait for our order. "Oh, that reminds me," I continued. "I got new summons in the church."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, some kind of pinching alien and what my power insists is a dragon, but honestly seems to be more of a wyvern."

"Really?" Azazel was speaking in his fascinated voice again, which honestly reminded me a bit of a mad scientist.

"Yeah, two legs and two wings. That's a wyvern, right?"

"Generally yes. But your power says it's a dragon? Did it give any more information?"

"Uh, yeah. It's pink, shoots flaming, exploding, rock missiles, and apparently has some kind of complex that makes it desperate to be acknowledged by others. It's called a Cyclarion, have you ever heard of it?"

"No." Now Azazel was looking almost hungry.

"…Wanna summon it tomorrow to see what it does?" I asked.

"Maria, I believe this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

I laughed. "Sure thing boss man."

"Wonderful. Did you get anything else?"

"Yeah, just a minor power that means I get some small powerless summon every time I get a normal summon."

"Hmmm. The Celestial Menagerie sometimes gives you normal animals, correct?"

"As far as I can tell based off Loops, but a data point of one isn't very good."

"If you get any more normal animals, play them up among the devils- it will help with the story that the Celestial Menagerie was made from Noah's Ark."

"Oh, so that was a story."

Azazel raised an eyebrow at me. "You thought it was true?"

"Hey, I'm completely new to this and I don't know what all the Sacred Gears are. That's your stick. I thought there was a chance- Oh."

"Oh what?"

"Got something new, well, three things new. First, a Cthellean Cudbear, which is like a normal bear but purple, with super long claws and teeth and a vicious attitude."

"Again, something I have never heard of."

"Next the power to kinda hide my creatures so that they seem more normal, although I'm not sure I'll be able to do much for some of the bigger ones."

"We'll have to test that later."

"Agreed. And finally," I grinned at him. "A completely normal earth creature known as the Sunda flying lemur."

Azazel laughed, and the staff called out our meal.

As soon as we sat down with our food, I tore into it. I didn't even bother trying to take the pickles off of the burger. I just ate like I was trying out for the world food eating competition.

I was about halfway through the fries when I noticed that Azazel had only taken a few bites out of his burger and slowed down, self-conscious. He noticed and waved me off, letting me know I was fine. Still, I remained eating slowly.

As I did, I looked up at Azazel, and realized that this was the first time I'd sat down with him without a crisis hanging over my head. First it was the "fuck, I need to tell someone about the end of the world" and then it was "fuck, we have to deal with the devils" but now it was just… I had to go to school tomorrow. And that was something I could do all on my own.

Furthermore, there was a kind of strange intimacy, sitting across from a fallen angel that could probably remember the creation of Earth, eating a mediocre burger in a cheap fast-food restaurant. Azazel, he seemed tired. It was easy to see the prankster and the mad scientist that would create such things as a gender changing gun for the funsies, but here was a man who had just been told that his adopted son would betray him.

Vali…

I wasn't certain what to make of Vali. On one hand, he'd kind of gone back to his father, and cried when he lost him, but I never understood why he left in the first place. And with his rivalry with Issei…

Although that brought up another point that I needed to address.

"Azazel," I said. "Do you mind if I ask a question?"

"Sure," he said.

"In the TV show, you said that you ordered the death of Issei. But back in the church, it sounded like you didn't want her to kill him. Which is the truth?"

Azazel paused, thoughtful.

"I suppose both," he said. "Raynare did submit a slip requesting permission to kill a Sacred Gear user. Specifically, she submitted a slip requesting permission to kill a dragon typed Sacred Gear user that regularly refused to follow rules, didn't seem to have any self-control, and appeared to have no ambition. Given that wielders of dragon Sacred Gears are the most likely to go on a rampage upon activation, and that he was unable to follow authority as a regular human, I thought it was best to ensure that he would never harm another and approved it."

He grimaced. "I did not know it was the Red Emperor. Or that Issei was… well, extremely unlikely to go on a rampage. If I had known more, I would have never done so."

He took a deep breath. "I suppose I could blame Raynare. She almost certainly knew that it was the Boosted Gear, and she likely wanted the bragging rights for taking him down, which is why she didn't mention the suspected identity of the Sacred Gear or what he actually did. But I am the leader, and it was my decision in the end."

Azazel sighed, and then looked at me. "Will that be a problem?" he asked.

"…No, I don't think so." Everyone made mistakes. The important part was… "What will you do differently in the future?"

Azazel took a bite of his burger and chewed thoughtfully.

"Well, I think that firstly," he said after he swallowed, "is that I am going to look through all my currently operating fallen angel cells to see exactly what they are doing. Might need to update reporting standards too. After that, I'm not sure. Haven't gotten that far yet."

"Then it's fine." I paused. "Well, it's not fine that Issei got killed, but it's not my responsibility to either blame you or absolve you for that. What I meant is that I have no problem following you despite your mistake because you recognize that you made a mistake, you are working to make sure that it won't happen again, and I'm pretty sure you will try to make it up to Issei, right?"

"As much as I can't apologize for what happened," Azazel said, "I am definitely planning on helping him."

"Oppai Dragon?"

He snorted. "Oppai Dragon," he agreed.

"I wanna watch when the first episode comes out."

"Can do."

After we finished up our meal and left, I made a quick stop at a convenience store to grab breakfast and lunch for tomorrow, as well as a few pairs of stockings. Then Azazel teleported me home.

"This is the correct apartment, right?" he asked as I tested the door.

"Yes," I said, then paused as I realized that in my rush to get dressed in the morning, I had left clothes strewn across the room.

"Ah, I'm sorry about the mess," I said.

"I've seen worse," Azazel said with a charming smile, before the smile froze just a bit.

Oh. Vali.

I bit my lip, before asking "Any advice for tomorrow?"

Hopefully that would get his mind off of things.

He blinked, then said "Don't summon the dragon."

"Wasn't planning on it."

"Actually, what I should say is that don't summon the dragon unless I'm around. I want to make sure it is safe before I give the go-ahead to summon whenever you like."

"Sure. Anything else?"

"Oh, I should give you my phone number. Your phone please?"

I handed it to him and watched him type something in. "Alright, you're all set," he said. "Call me if you need me."

"Alright. Uh, Goodnight?"

Azazel nodded. "Goodnight."

Then he disappeared with the flash of teleportation.

I stared out where he was standing for a moment before closing the door. I had no idea what was going to happen next but… whatever it was, I'd face it standing

---

AN: Right, I've made a few changes to how the Celestial Menagerie works. First, after this chapter all rolls will be made in the morning when Maria wakes up, so as to not disrupt the flow of the story. I might roll during combat because mid-fight powerups are a shounen staple, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Secondly, the idea of summoning sentient Ben 10 aliens disturbs me, because those aliens were shown to be sufficiently human-like to have human social needs and the thought of having a person trapped in stasis and having their entire existence revolve around another person sounds like some "I have no mouth and I must scream" type stuff. As such, if Maria rolls a sentient Ben 10 alien she will instead gain the power to turn into that alien. I'll decide on a case-by-case basis about other sentient summons as it comes up.

That's it for changes right now. One last note: this story is trash. I am not making it to be a good work of literature. I am making it because I wanted an excuse to cuddle animals and learn magic. If that isn't your jam, this story might not be either. You have been warned.

Edit: fixed errors, thanks Doccer

 

[Mgunh1]

Some try to tip toe around canon, scared of making any unfortunate changes.

Others go with the flow, changing things where necessary and accepting it when canon inevitably goes out the window.

The choice here to give canon concrete shoes and dump it in the ocean day one is certainly a bold one. But I'm not sure there is much other option with a Celestial X power. It's been, what? 24 hrs? And she already has a warmachine and a dragon?

Well, I'm here for it, let's go.

 

[zeldomnyo]

Honestly I can completely agree with you on the summoning sentient or sapient aliens and such. It does seem rather messed up.

 

[Skirata]

I am not sure where to fall on sentient aliens as summons. If you exclude those as summons then by the same criteria more developed youkai(or demons, monsters and other non-japanese versions of the same basic concept), a bunch of pokemon, and a lot of SCPs should be cut.
Although the MC would probably be happy to remove SCP from the pool.

 

[Mariadreaming9]

Pokemon I'm more okay with, given that they can apparently spend long periods of time in pokeballs with no negative mental side effects. That being said, Maria is currently signed up to work with an expert in souls, magical phenomena and the manipulation of such so she'll definitely start seeing about making some kind of social space in her soul once she's had time to think about things not related to the end of the world.

Regarding SCPs, I'm less sure, as there's so much variety. We'll see how I'm feeling when I roll them.

 

[OverseerEX]

"Yep," said the toucan. "Just chilling."

Click to shrink...

I like this toucan. He's chill

"Little food!"
"Okay, then if you find him and tell me where he lives, I'll give you more nuts. Feel free to ask other crows too."
"Give nut!"

Click to shrink...

Also really love the crows. Please feature the crows more! These crows are the best!

 

[Magus Explorator]

Thought she got one of those Psychic toucans from trópico for a moment lol

But yeah, the "Noah ark sacred gear" is a very clever way to "join" the DxD mythology

 

[Ckosacranoid]

I have only read one Txt crossover with Ranma 1/2 and it was funny. I see the celestial arc and had to give this a shot to read.
I do have to ask since it was a running joke in the last story I read, how does out hero stack up in the bust line size compared to the other young ladies with rather large chests in cannon?

 

[AntaeusTheGiant]

If you are going to not allow creatures with human levels of sapience, that does kind of nerf the Celestial Menagerie. However, as I know little about DxD, this might be appropriate for that setting. I'm a big fan of the Celestial Menagerie Quest, and I must say, while fully Sapient creatures might not be a huge percentage of the total creatures that are summonable in that story, they are a high percentage of those actually used. Just a thought.

 

[BigsDragon]

Great first chapter, I can't wait to eventually read more. My DxD knowledge is not up to date so that's probably something I'm going to need to rectify soon. Also interesting rule changes you made to the CM can't wait to see how that turns out.

the Celestial Menagerie took the opportunity to dump the first dragon I had gotten on me, something called a Cyclarion that shot flaming rock missiles and was desperate for attention.

Click to shrink...

Small error here, this link doesn't work. Here is a new link if you want to just swap it in quick. Cyclarion

 

[Mariadreaming9]

If you are going to not allow creatures with human levels of sapience,

Click to shrink...

It's less that and more "human levels of sapience" plus "human level social needs" that is my biggest concern. And I'm not getting rid of them all, in Ben 10 cases I'm giving Maria the option to transform into them instead.

Small error here, this link doesn't work. Here is a new link if you want to just swap it in quick. Cyclarion

Click to shrink...

Thanks! It's been fixed

 

[AntaeusTheGiant]

It's less that and more "human levels of sapience" plus "human level social needs" that is my biggest concern. And I'm not getting rid of them all, in Ben 10 cases I'm giving Maria the option to transform into them instead.

Click to shrink...

So, how about Metallic Steel Dragons? House Elves? Starro? A Sea Witch? Entwives? (the later don't necessarily have a normal social life, but do need contact with their garden, or their forest in the case of Ents.)

 

[Magus Explorator]

Starro would be weird for DxD, like imagine all the mythological factions fighting and here comes space Patrick with the body snatchers


Like let's not forget the Starro got control of darkseid so he works on "god" enemies as well

And you know … Alien comes out of left field and will make several supernatural faction to scratch their head (tho to be fair the other aliens might as well)

 

[Mariadreaming9]

So, how about Metallic Steel Dragons? House Elves? Starro? A Sea Witch? Entwives? (the later don't necessarily have a normal social life, but do need contact with their garden, or their forest in the case of Ents.)

Click to shrink...

I'm not sure about d&d dragons, sometimes they seem like they fit the bill, sometimes they don't. House elves would probably see eternal servitude as heaven so they're fine, although it'd probably squick Maria out a bit. For the Sea witch we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I'm leaning towards no right now, but if Maria can figure out a system that's less horrific it might work. I need to research the Entwives more before I can say for certain

Edit: I'm leaning towards yes for Starro because I think it would be funny

 

[verycoolname]

One last note: this story is trash. I am not making it to be a good work of literature. I am making it because I wanted an excuse to cuddle animals and learn magic.

Click to shrink...

I absolutely respect your reasons for writing this fic.

 

[Mariadreaming9]

For the Sea witch we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I'm leaning towards no right now, but if Maria can figure out a system that's less horrific it might work.

Click to shrink...

I made a decision. I'm replacing Sea Witch with Overblot Monster from Disney's Twisted Wonderland, same point price. I also went through and found that D'draig is also in the Celestial Menagerie so I'm replacing him with Fire Lizards from Dragonriders of Pern, but they only cost 100 points.

I absolutely respect your reasons for writing this fic.

Click to shrink...

Aww thanks!

 

[Doccer]

Celestial Forge sometimes gives you normal animals, correct?"

Click to shrink...

You call it Celestial Forge twice here.

Love the fic so far.

 

[Mariadreaming9]

You call it Celestial Forge twice here.

Love the fic so far.

Click to shrink...

Fixed, thanks for letting me know!

 

[Doccer]

@zagan
Got another one whose sipped of you cup!

 

[Turncoat]

This is a surprise, but an extremely welcome one. I like it a lot.

 

[zagan]

Another CM fic. That's awesome. And with an excellent start at that.
And I love the idea of Noah's Ark as the excuse for the CM.

AN: Right, I've made a few changes to how the Celestial Menagerie works. First, after this chapter all rolls will be made in the morning when Maria wakes up, so as to not disrupt the flow of the story. I might roll during combat because mid-fight powerups are a shounen staple, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Click to shrink...

That's fair.

Secondly, the idea of summoning sentient Ben 10 aliens disturbs me, because those aliens were shown to be sufficiently human-like to have human social needs and the thought of having a person trapped in stasis and having their entire existence revolve around another person sounds like some "I have no mouth and I must scream" type stuff. As such, if Maria rolls a sentient Ben 10 alien she will instead gain the power to turn into that alien. I'll decide on a case-by-case basis about other sentient summons as it comes up.

Click to shrink...

As was mentioned by someone else Ben 10's creatures are not the only ones that are sapient. The way you choose to handle it is fine but it's not the only way.
Your creature could be at an animal level of intelligence instead of fully sapient.
They could have a backstory that includes the CM saving them from a deadly situation, and they could have agreed to serve the Keeper of the Celestial Menagerie in exchange for their lives.
Also, they could be unaware of the passage of time while not summoned.

That's it for changes right now. One last note: this story is trash. I am not making it to be a good work of literature. I am making it because I wanted an excuse to cuddle animals and learn magic. If that isn't your jam, this story might not be either. You have been warned.

Click to shrink...

It's far from trash. On the contrary, it's very good so far. I love the interaction with the summoned creatures.

Question:
Are you aware that the Celestial Menagerie includes a sheet with a lot of Bonus Categories? You could replace the categories that you don't like (such as Ben 10) with one taken from there that is more to your taste.

@zagan
Got another one whose sipped of you cup!

Click to shrink...

Thanks, I would have miss it otherwise.

 

[stads]

nice chapter thx for writing it
fun opening chapter will be interesting to see what animals she will get
nice addition with the robot wonder what she can learn from it

 

[prussiangrandier]

Question:
Are you aware that the Celestial Menagerie includes a sheet with a lot of Bonus Categories? You could replace the categories that you don't like (such as Ben 10) with one taken from there that is more to your taste.

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And I help write the one for age of mythology, which is one I can recommend it here, lots of mythological beings that will be seen as far more acceptable then aliens,eldritch abomination and SCPs

Heck psionics don't exist in DxD so any psychic will be a total out of context problem, same with non magics like chakra and stands

I recommend removing Bloodborne if you are removing SCP too

 

[Mariadreaming9]

Another CM fic. That's awesome. And with an excellent start at that.

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Aww, thank you!

Are you aware that the Celestial Menagerie includes a sheet with a lot of Bonus Categories? You could replace the categories that you don't like (such as Ben 10) with one taken from there that is more to your taste.

Click to shrink...

Yes, I'm aware of that. I was considering adding the fakemon to the Celestial Menagerie but figured I was spoiled for choice even without it. And I really like the rest of the Ben 10/Secret Saturdays line up, which is why I didn't want to get rid of it entirely.

And I help write the one for age of mythology, which is one I can recommend it here, lots of mythological beings that will be seen as far more acceptable then aliens,eldritch abomination and SCPs

Heck psionics don't exist in DxD so any psychic will be a total out of context problem, same with non magics like chakra and stands

I recommend removing Bloodborne if you are removing SCP too

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Oh, I actually like the out of context problems; I think it would be hysterical to give an angel an existential crisis over proof of alien lifeforms and some of the weirdness that comes with SCPs. I will consider removing Bloodborne however, on the grounds of not wanting to write about an epidemic. Thank you for recommending the Age of Mythology lineup instead.

...

Hey, given some of the questions I have received, I think I might have explained things badly as to why I have changed things regarding Ben 10 aliens. My issues are that Maria would find summoning them to be unethical and as such would refuse to summon them at all.

You see, if you are familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, each person with a humanlike mind requires certain things to live a happy and fulfilling life. While the Celestial Menagerie automatically fulfills most base needs like the need for food and water, it doesn't do anything regarding a person's needs for social interactions, intimacy, relationships, freedom, respect, play, and so on. Given that Maria is an SI and I have training in psychology, this is something that she would recognize immediately, and as a reasonably ethical person would seek to provide as much of that outside of the Celestial Menagerie as is possible. While one or two human level sapient beings could be "kept" using scheduled summonings to give the summons a facsimile of a life outside of what she needs them to do, the sheer variety of human level sapient summons would be overwhelming and result in her simply refusing to summon them, preferring to keep them in stasis. As there would be no point in having said summons in that case, and because I do not want to write that kind of angst in my cuddle animals and learn magic fic, I'm getting rid of the problem by having the SI transform into the sapient beings instead.

In order to get ahead of the arguments for other groups, I'd like to point out that I'm not saying "I won't summon sapient beings", I'm saying "I won't summon sapient beings with human-like psychology". So beings like pokemon that are sapient but have been shown to be not humanlike enough that summoning them occasionally would be fine for them psychologically (think about how much time your game pokemon spend in their balls) are fine. Likewise, sapient beings that would be personally fulfilled by being summoned to serve a person like house elves are also fine. Maria would consider it to be ethically okay to summon them, even if she might be wigged out at first.

As there are sapient human-level beings sprinkled throughout the Celestial Menagerie, should I roll one I will first try to determine if it fulfills the "human-like sapience" criteria, or the "Would Maria refuse to summon this for ethical reasons" criteria. If it does, I will either replace it with a similar being from the same franchise if I can find one (for example Sea witch to Overblot Monster, which includes a Sea Witch form) or I will reroll from the column.

 

[Katzen sind life]

"Would Maria refuse to summon this for ethical reasons" criteria

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That's a wild take for not wanting to have sth from the celestial menagerie as simply having the creatures is the entire point as it automatically makes it impossible for them to become extinct across all reality.

Not that I disagree with the not wanting to have sth that is sapient but will never be used… it's just interesting to have a author weighing respect for sapients against possible extinction and choosing the respect…

And the celestial menagerie is just a writing tool at the end of the day and it's not that deep, so well done for providing a fresh perspective on sth I have read many fanfictions of.