[NGE] Provisional

[Doctor Squared]

Sten?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Why is my Jet Alone acting like it's in The Exorcist?"

Stern removed his sunglasses and contemplated the question for a few moments.

"It's entirely possible that this Angel exists as a sentient cloud of nan-"

Langley let out a familiar, annoyed sigh.

"Don't say nanomachines! It's always nanomachines with you!"

The other man stared at his shoes.

"…at least it's plausible this time."

Meanwhile, in the middle of the bay Unit-05 with a rather annoyed Mari at the controls was clinging to Jet Alone's leg like a toddler as it tried to stop it from walking out of the bay.

"Come on! Why won't you fight me?! Mr. Bonejangles wanted to fight me! Quit being such a killjoy!"

Shinji and Rei's faces popped up in the corner of Mari's HUD.

"M-maybe it just wants to go to the Geofront? All of the other Angels seem to want to."

"Mari-chan, you should try to lead the target closer to us. If it gets outside of our umbilical cable range we will be unable to intercept."

Yanking back on the control levers, Unit-05's wheels went into full reverse, kicking up sediment and seaweed from the floor of the bay. The display certainly looked impressive but Iruel remained unmoved.

"Yeah, I don't think anything short of tearing this stupid thing's legs off is going to stop it. Maybe I can just squeeze this one a little tighter and pop it off before it's AT-Field can-"

There was a sudden resonant, ringing sound and a flash of an orange hexagonal pattern sent Unit-05 flying across the bay, its tentacle-like arms still snugly wrapped around Jet Alone's leg before ungracefully crashing headfirst back into the water. The Sixth Child let out a pained groan.

"Ooowww. Never mind."

Rei let out a sigh and hefted the barrel off of Unit-01's shoulder, grunting slightly at the extra weight.

"Ikari-kun, go help Mari-chan. Try to bring the target closer to me, I do not wish to hit the reactor."

"S-shouldn't we wait for Dr. Akagi to give us orders?"

"Dr. Akagi's job is to state the obvious, not give orders."

"Oh."

"Do not worry, I will be right behind you."

Unit-01 rushed forward towards the Angel, its umbilical cord dropping into the bay with a loud crash. Shinji could hear the sound of his heart pounding in his ears as he felt the weight of the seawater pushing against his legs with every stride, at the rate he was going he'd run out of power before he'd even reach Mari and the possessed machine.

"Shinji? Are you still there?"

"Dr Akagi?"

"Iruel is attempting to walk Jet Alone to the Geofront, the MAGI are reporting a high probability that the Angel may intend to overload the reactor to blast through its defenses. We're-"

An unfamiliar man's voice took over.

"Jack Langley, Langley Defense Systems, nice to meet you son. We're working on using that fancy supercomputer you guys have to mess with the GPS signals Jet Alone uses to navigate. Odds are that our little hitchhiker is using it to find its way to your base."

"Shinji, this is Dr. Akagi again we're sending the signal now. Jet Alone's internal guidance should be telling it that Tokyo-3 is in your direction. You and Unit-05 will have to take down the AT Field. Are you seeing anything?"

The armless Unit-05 stood up, seaweed, mud, and water sloughing off of its armor.

"Hey Puppy, it might just be the concussion but is the Angel moonwalking towards us?"

The Angel had indeed reversed course but had decided not to physically turn around. Mari waved the fleshy, still-sparking stumps of her Eva's arms at the lumbering machine while shouting defiantly at it. Time was running out and he was still so far away, so he kept charging forward.

"Mari! We have to drop its AT Field so Rei can shoot it like we were supposed to!"

A disconcerting giggle rang out over the comms.

"M-Mari?"

"No worries Puppy I saw this in a movie once!"

Soon Unit-05, umbilical still trailing behind it began scuttling around in circles, tripping the advancing Angel up in the cabling. Mari quickly mounted the topped machine and started grasping at the machine's torso with her four spindly legs. Orange light flared across the skyline as their AT Fields clashed between each other. Iruel refused to stay down for long as it staggered back to its feet with the Eva's legs still tightly wrapped around it, groaning metal and the crystalline ringing off the barriers separating the two rang out across the bay. Shinji was almost there, just a few more moments and he'd be able to help, as the distance between them closed he could start to make out small cracks in the Angels' field, it was all going to be over soon he just had to-

"Operational time expended, low-power mode engaged."

The image of the battlefield faded from color into low-resolution black and white as the monotone voice of the computer rattled off Unit-01's shutdown sequence. Shinji shouted as he yanked at the control sticks.

"Come on! Move! It's not like you haven't ignored running out of batteries before!"

Unit-01 remained silent. On the screen, the boy could see Iruel struggling to disentangle the still struggling Unit-05 from itself. Then, there was a blinding flash followed by a massive cracking sound and a gust of wind that sent Unit-01 toppling over. Shinji felt his head crash against the headrest of his pilot's seat. The world went dark when he awoke that the entry plug was a lot more claustrophobic than before and that the jagged edge of a piece of olive green armor plate emblazoned with the NERV logo was inches away from his face. Another monotone warning, slightly garbled came over the plug's intercom.

"Warning, high levels of ionizing radiation detected. Please seek medical attention."

Mari's voice rasped over comms.

"Hey Puppy, you okay?"

"M-Mari? What happened? I'm okay but I've got this huge hunk of metal wedged into my plug."

The girl let loose a small coughing fit and resumed speaking.

"I broke through Jet Iruel…whatever it's called's AT Field and Rei shot it with that really big rifle of hers. I don't know what it was but man did it pack a punch, went through me and the dumb robot like a hot knife through butter. I think it went a bit high though, the Geiger counter in here's going tickety tick like crazy."

"Is…is it dead?"

"Pretty sure it is. It's not trying to walk off on me or anything and I'm still parked right on top of it."

Shinji let out a sigh of relief.

"That's good."

"Yep, we won! Yay!"

"So I guess we just have to wait for Dr. Akagi now?"

"I guess so. Hey is she a medical doctor? Because I can't feel my legs."

 

[Doctor Squared]

Mare Tranquilitatis, Lunar Orbit

Gendo Ikari stared out across the endless sea of grey before him. The pockmarked surface of the moon as seen through the viewing port of the orbiter soon gave way to the darkness of the pit, and the giant that sat within it.

"It looks like they're even further along than we thought Sensei we'll have to move up our timetable if we wish to have a True Evangelion before SEELE."

"Why rush? Why not take some time and enjoy the view?"

The commander turned and saw a grey-haired boy, dressed in a pair of slacks and a button-down shirt standing in the hatchway behind him as if appearing inside a spacecraft orbiting the moon without a space suit was a regular occurrence. The boy spoke again.

"Hello father, you're not supposed to be here."

"Father? Who are you? What happened to Fuyutsuki?"

A knowing smirk appeared on the boy's face.

"I thought you were the one who was supposed to know everything going on around him? He will remain unharmed Father, I've long since outgrown such excesses."

"You're…you're not my son."

"Really now? There are a few billion people who witnessed the birth of my brothers and I. You were there were you not?"

What the boy was saying was impossible, there was no way that the boy could be one of the giants of light from all those years ago.

"You can't possibly be Adam. This is just another one of SEELE's illusions meant to frighten me away from the Mark.06."

'Adam' gave a good-natured chuckle and ran a hand through the shock of grey hair on his head.

"Oh no, I'm not Adam. Simply a fragment like that poor soul laying in the pit or that amber trinket you stole. We are all your children, but for clarity please call me Kaworu. Shinji-kun always seems fond of that name."

Gendo just stared dumbfounded for a moment.

"What do you want?"

"For you to stop resisting. These schemes of yours have long since worn thin, and time and time again you've met nothing but failure, please stop."

"No, I will not simply give in. Not when I'm so close to getting…why am I telling you this?"

"I would assume because deep down you wish to be a hot-blooded anime hero on a quest to save his wife instead of a broken man having a discussion about the nature of paternity with an ancient intelligence beyond his comprehension trapped in the form of a teenaged boy whilst orbiting the moon. I would imagine that you'll now adjust your glasses and then say something suitably cryptic."

That got a grumble but of the older man.

"Say I go along with what SEELE has planned? What exactly do I get out of it?"

"Oh, you'll see. In the fullness of time, of course, I'd recommend that you return to the pit you crawled out of soon Father. I have the feeling that you'll have plenty of work to keep you occupied upon your return."

With that Gendo's vision flickered for a moment and Fuyutsuki appeared right where Kawrou was standing as if nothing had happened.

"Ikari? What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Nothing Sensei, we should get back home. We have work to do."

 

[Doctor Squared]

Rei Ayanami felt bad. Not the usual physical 'bad' caused by the various aches and pains from ejecting straight into a ceiling, but feeling bad in an emotional sense. Commander Ikari had often told her that their actions meant little in the long run, that Instrumentality would make every life whole again despite the past, she certainly didn't feel that surety now. Ikari-kun was walking next to her as they left school talking about how he was planning on visiting Mari-chan.

She stared at the familiar-looking bandage over her companion's right eye and the surgical tape over his right eyebrow. This was her fault, she had taken the shot against the Angel and it had blown through both Provisional Unit-05, separating its legs from its torso, and pierced Jet Alone's reactor core, throwing shrapnel across the bay. Seeing Ikari-kun in this state didn't exactly help things.

"…and since we finished taking all of those pills for the radiation poisoning Dr. Heck says we should be able to go right in and visit her…Rei?"

Rei stared blankly.

"Yes?"

"Y-you don't have to come if you don't want to. It's okay."

"I..should go. With you."

"Are you sure?"

"I…should apologize?"

"Maybe we could get her a card? She got me one after, uh…' Mr. Bonejangles'."

"Are there any cards for intentionally shooting through someone?"

"I..don't think so. B-but it's the thought that counts?"

A few hours later Rei found herself walking through the familiar halls of the Geofront once more, a small plastic bag of assorted greeting cards picked up on the way hanging from her arm. While human beings were unable to truly understand one another folded paper in bright colors appeared to be a popular alternative. As the pair continued down the hall to the infirmary they passed a loudly arguing Dr. Akagi and Captain Katsuragi, the topic of their dispute made the disquieting feeling well up in the pit of her stomach again, did everyone feel this way? The hallways continued to blur past them and Ikari-kun was mentioning something about Mari-chan but it just seems to turn to the dull static as she continued to focus on her conundrum.

Then all motion stopped as they had finally reached the Sixth Child's room. Outside the door stood a dark man in a dark suit and sunglasses who was speaking with a tired-looking Dr. Heck. Rei could feel that sinking feeling that had been growing until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry Rei, I'll be right behind you."

The pair walked in to find Mari laying back on an almost blindingly pink pillow with cat ears. Other than the bandage on her cheek, she looked better than Rei had expected given her standards of what having an unfortunate Eva accident were.

"Shinji! Rei! Hey, it's good to see you guys everybody here made it seem like you were dead or something."

"H-Hi Mari, sorry we didn't come sooner."

Rummaging through the plastic bag in her hands Rei produced a pale blue envelope and handed it to the girl, who gave her usual megawatt smile as she opened it.

"Aww, thanks Rei! But my birthday isn't for another six months."

"That was not the intended card."

Digging through the bag once more produced another pale blue envelope. Mari opened it with a confused expression at the sad-looking cartoon puppy on the front.

"Uh…thank you?"

"I wanted to apologize for firing through your Evangelion…and permanently impairing your ability to walk."

"Oh, well it killed the Angel, right? That's the important thing, I mean it could have been way worse than it was."

The blue-haired girl was confused, she could understand being ambivalent about losing the use of her legs. She after all, was replaceable Mari-chan was not and given the expression on Ikari-kun's face this wasn't a normal response. Mari didn't seem to notice and just kept carrying on.

"I mean we got irradiated which Dr. Heck says doesn't actually give you superpowers which is bad, and I'm sorry Unit-05 blew giant metal chunks into your entry plug Puppy."

"T-that's okay?"

"But my legs aren't really the problem it's more that I just broke my brain legs. Like my legs are fine but Unit-05 doesn't really have them anymore?"

Rei and Shinji just continued to stare with a confused look on their faces.

"So I'm fine but like my brain was all synched with Unit-05 when Rei shot me so my brain still thinks my legs are its legs? Bluh. Metaphysical biology is really confusing."

"Your theory makes sense."

"Thanks, Rei! I'm glad someone understands me."

It was at that point that Rei realized that while people were unable to truly understand one another it was possible to get the gist of it.

 

[Doctor Squared]

Mari watched as the pair left and sank back down into the vividly pink, cat-eared pillow she was resting on with her usual deflated sound. It was hard being upbeat and cheery with everything going on, she really wanted to be upset and angry about what was going on but that wouldn't do anything. It wasn't Rei's fault that she'd been in the way of the Angel and it wasn't like she could have done anything else given how useless she was in that whole fight.

She'd be kicking herself if it wasn't for her stupid brain not wanting to move her stupid legs because she had been stupid. Bluh, she needed a hug. For a moment she mused what would happen if she asked Rei or Shinji for one. Well, Puppy would probably just explode into a cloud of awkwardness with how nervous he always was…not that she'd helped with that at all. Rei would probably just stare with her Rei stare and ask why in her usual Rei way, but the whole card thing showed she cared right? Ugh, this whole introspective inner monologue alone with your thoughts thing sucked.

"You're not supposed to be here."

Mari blinked. The edges of her vision seemed to have greyed a bit, kinda like when they'd had her on the fun drugs. Looking around the room she noticed a pale, slender boy with a shock of grey hair and red eyes that were kinda like Rei's. Was he Rei's brother? Rei never mentioned having a brother…or a family but then again most of their conversations were pretty one-sided so Rei hadn't mentioned much of anything but anyway it was time to address the weird boy in the room.

"Hey? Are you Rei's brother? Or like a vampire or something? Also, not that I'm complaining or anything but why are you naked?"

Grey boy didn't seem to notice her and just kept speaking like she wasn't there.

"Yes, I understand that this one usually isn't important."

"Hey!"

"You can't just go changing things just because you're unhappy about your appointed hour. There's supposed to be an order to these things."

Mari was getting annoyed by this guy just barging into her room and cryptically talking about..whatever. She went to try and smack him but for some reason, her body didn't want to move which was just great.

"Iru-chan this isn't funny. You just can't go jumping into random Lilin just because you want to!"

Whoever Grey Boy thought he was talking to must have said something because he started blushing furiously.

"That is completely different and you know it."

Wait a minute, 'Iru-chan' wasn't the lame giant robot angel Iru-something? Ooh, maybe she didn't have broken brain legs at all she was just demonically possessed! For real this time, not sarcastically like that annoying chaplain back at Bethany Base had said.

"Hey, uh naked bishie boy? You're cute and all but can you get Iru..uh can you get whatever it is out of my head?"

Grey Boy stared for a moment realizing that yes, somebody else was there. With that, the color at the edge of her vision came back and the boy was replaced by a rather concerned-looking Dr. Heck who was holding a bottle of pink-colored juice from the vending machine down the hall in his hand.

"Mari? Are you alright?"

Mari emptied the contents of her stomach.

 

[Doctor Squared]

The blue Renault glided down the darkened, empty roads of Tokyo-3 with the soft whirring of its electric motors and the sound of the cicadas as its only companions. Shinji sat in the car's passenger seat trying to untangle his earbuds. Misato's tired voice broke the silence.

"Shinji."

Silence returned but Misato continued speaking.

"About what happened. I know I really dropped the ball with this whole Jet Alone thing, but I never actually meant to…well…I'm sorry."

The boy continued to fiddle with the knot of wire, much to the driver's annoyance. There was a much less charitable part of his mind that wanted to remind her that she'd been dropping the ball since the day he met her and that he'd gotten used to it, but that was a part that he usually kept locked away.

"I…guess that I've been so focused on losing my father to Adam during Second Impact and taking it out through you and the others that I lost sight of the fact that any of you could be hurt or worse doing it."

That little part of him wanted to let out an annoyed sigh. Every conversation where Misato felt bad for or about him always drifted back to talking about the late Dr. Katsuragi. She didn't really care, she just wanted to stop feeling bad about her father, that's why she was so obsessed about 'helping' him reconnect with Father. Her father didn't abandon her at a train station or lie about her mother being trapped in a giant clone-alien-robot thing.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk."

Maybe Mari had a point about being angry? Maybe he should just let the walls holding everything back fall away and let whatever happen happen?

"My mother isn't dead."

Misato turned her head for a moment before swerving to avoid running into a light pole.

"Uh…"

"She isn't, she's inside Unit-01 somewhere. Father lied about what happened to her."

"How…where is this coming from?"

"Dr. Heck told me all about Project E a few weeks ago when he got here and he said that she's inside Unit-01's core somewhere. I-it makes sense, why would it try to protect me or get angry when I got hurt if mother wasn't in there?"

"Shinji, I know it's been a stressful few weeks but-"

"I'm not crazy!"

"Okay fine, you're not crazy. But you can't just go saying this sort of thing because people tend to react badly to it.

The boy crossed his arms over his chest.

"You told me that you were in a mental ward for a while after Second Impact but they decided to let you into the military. How is me knowing my mother is inside Eva any different?"

Misato pulled over on the side of the road.

"You're right. I did spend time in a mental ward, I was at ground zero for the apocalypse and didn't say anything to anybody about it for years on end because I didn't get help. I might be the world's biggest fuck up as a surrogate sister-aunt-parent person but starting tomorrow you're getting some professional help because you clearly can't deal with keeping all of this inside anymore."

"W-what?! Why didn't you do this earlier when I was about to throw myself off a cliff?!"

"I'm a functional alcoholic who doesn't just have issues, I have the whole subscription and what part of 'mental ward' would make you think doing that sort of thing is the first thing I'd do?"

NERV Mental Health Services, Central Dogma, GeoFront

The waiting room was typical of most places within NERV, hard plastic seating, linoleum flooring, fluorescent lighting, the usual. Shinji sat in his seat as the receptionist typed away at their terminal. Two chairs down from where he was sat an older man wearing a badge with the Terminal Dogma icon mumbling something about thousands of eyes boring into his soul while a woman on Unit-01's support crew sat in a garish purple and neon green set of coveralls attempting to read an old magazine with a pair of trembling hands.

"Hey Puppy! Whatcha in for?"

Shinji looked up and saw Mari, now clad in a typical school uniform sitting in an aggressively pink wheelchair.

"I-I…er told Misato that my mom might not be dead and I guess there's something wrong with me now?"

He admittedly had always thought that there was something wrong with him. After all, why else would Mother decide to go live in an Evangelion while Father just abandoned him at a train station if that wasn't the case?

"Oh. Well you're just fine in my book!"

Awkward silence reigned between them.

"Well I guess it's only fair that I share too, see I saw this naked bishie boy in my room and he was talking to me like I wasn't even there and it turns out that that Iruel jerk from the stupid robot fight is possessing my body and is making my legs not work! But apparently I'm just in denial and am making up stories as a coping mechanism so they're going to pump me full of the Super Happy Fun Pills until I don't see things anymore which sucks."

"I-I believe you. I mean the Angel possessed that Jet Alone robot right?"

Mari's attempt at a smile was quickly snuffed out by the sight of Gendo Ikari walking into the room. He stopped for a moment to appraise the Sixth Child and then proceeded to stare at Shinji.

"Come. I have use for you."

"I have use of you? Who talks like that?"

The Commander fixed the girl with the same stare that caused her to shrink back in her seat.

"I do."

"Well it's pretty creepy."

Shinji decided to stop Mari before she had a chance to continue.

"M-Mari, this is my father."

"Oh."

"I…guess I have to go now. Uh, g-good luck?"

Mari's normal chipper attitude returned as she gave the boy her usual smile.

"Okay Puppy! See you later!"

Father and son walked out into the hallway and into the elevator going who knew where.

"She seems…nice."

"S-she is."

The older man gave an awkward cough.

"You knew didn't you? That mother wasn't dead, that she was in the Eva! You sent me out there to die just in the hopes that she'd do something to stop that first Angel!"

"I did."

Shinji was taken aback, he hadn't expected his father to freely admit what he had done.

"W-why did she have to go into the Eva? Why couldn't have been you instead?"

The commander hit the elevator's emergency stop button and removed his glasses.

"It should have been. But I didn't have a choice in the matter."

"And I'm supposed to feel bad for you?"

Gendo let out a grunt.

"No. I had never planned on telling you. I had this grand scheme that I could somehow bring her back and that she'd fix everything but it was just a fantasy. You know the truth now and what you do with that is up to you."

"T-that's it?"

"You were expecting something more cathartic? That'd I'd ask you to join me so we could rule the world as father and son?"

Shinji slumped down to the floor and held his head in his hands.

"I don't know what I expected."

"I wouldn't blame you if you hated me. I hated the man my father was, it's nothing new."

With that the man hit the stop button again and walked out of the elevator, leaving his son crying once more.

 

[Doctor Squared]

Geofront Residential Block, Tokyo-3

Stephen Heck looked down at the small paper packet in his hands and then looked back up at his adoptive daughter who was looking at a pair of spandex leggings covered in whorls of arcane patterns in silver threads sitting in her lap.

"I borrowed your sewing machine, it took me a while to figure out the embroidery setting and to get pictures of Bethany Base's floor but…"

Mari continued to stare at the fabric sitting in her lap.

"I won't force you to take the medication they gave you."

The girl shrugged.

"Maybe I am just seeing things. I like the magic pants though."

Heck gave a sigh and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Well, they're not magic so much as they're covered in similar Angel-sealing glyphs…"

Mari rolled her eyes back in her head and pretended to pass out.

"Okay, they're pretty much magic pants. But they should help ward off anything that generates a blue pattern from taking further possession or taking hold."

"Y-you don't think I'm just crazy?"

"Mari, I've never thought that. You see the world differently than other people do. And sometimes people would rather just rather push away things that don't agree with how they view the world rather than accept them."

"Pu...Shinji believed me."

Heck gave a small smile and stroked his beard wistfully.

"He seems like a very nice young man. I'm very happy that you found someone like him, I was beginning to lose hope."

Mari began to blush furiously.

"D-doc!"

"I'm sorry dear, Rei is also very nice as well. Love knows no gender after all."

"Ugh! Remind me again why I put up with you?"

"Because I fix your giant robot and make you magic pants?"

"Yeah…plus you're a pretty good dad."

"And you are a wonderful daughter. Now, time for bed, don't want to be falling asleep during your first day back."

Mari let out her usual deflated noise and took off her glasses.

"Alright, night Doc"

"Good night Mari."

Heck turned out the lights and walked back into the living area letting out a weary sigh.

"Kids, huh?"

The doctor turned around to see a scruffy, tired-looking Japanese man dressed in a rumpled shirt and slacks with a haphazardly tied and equally crumpled necktie around his neck. Most noticeable however was the dull glint of the handgun sitting in the man's lap.

"Ah, Agent Mulder. I see you left Bethany."

The man frowned.

"Yeah, I found a way out of Bethany after that giant bone-thing took off chasing after you and the Key of Nebuchadnezzar."

Heck stroked his beard, seeming unfazed by all of this. This seemed to agitate the rumpled man even further.

"You left me there looking like a fool!"

"To be completely honest Agent Mulder, you are one. I've spent most of my career being a laughingstock, I lost some good friends to the madness brought on by that 'giant bone-thing', you'd forgive me for not feeling much sympathy for someone who was going to use my daughter to cover their escape. Besides, Ikari still got the Key."

The man stood up.

"You have no idea what he'll try to do with it."

"Neither do you, perhaps we'll find out together. After all, the truth is still out there."

The safety of rumpled man's gun clicked.

"And what if I'm the only one who wants to find out?"

"Well, for starters you'd orphan an innocent girl for a second time, one that happens to pilot a giant god machine that can destroy cities. The second reason is that you'd kill someone in Ikari's little fiefdom and it means that there'd be questions afterward, ones that you might not enjoy answering."

The man's hold on the gun wavered slightly, but whatever his intentions were would remain a mystery as the door to the apartment was broken down and an anonymous horde of men in dark suits and sunglasses tackled him to the floor. Heck gave a small chuckle and drew his PDA from his pocket, a flashing 'SOS' icon strobing across its screen.

"The third reason is that Gendo Ikari keeps all of the apartments in the Geofront monitored. Enjoy your evening Mr. Kaji."

There was a small groan from the pile.

Tokyo-3 Middle School, following day

Shinji laid back on the school's rooftop and let out a long, relaxed sigh.

Despite being reduced to a gibbering mess in the elevator by his father's relative nonchalance at the revelation that he knew the secret behind his mother becoming an eighty-meter tall giant alien-clone-robot things went surprisingly well with the therapist, which was surprising given that they were on NERV's payroll. When he had laid everything out before him, and took into account what his father had told him it would seem that there wasn't something unfathomably wrong with him that caused everyone to hate and abandon him, his father abandoned him because he was a horrible waste of carbon. The therapist also had mentioned that it seemed like he had anxiety and deeply repressed anger issues, he'd gotten medication for one and a recommendation for weekly discussions for the other.

For all intents and purposes, things seemed like they were as good as they were going to get. Sure, he still had to pilot the god-machine that had taken his mother to prevent the extinction of mankind at the hands of eldritch horrors, but he had friends like Mari, Rei, and well he guessed Kensuke and Touji too. Plus as an attempt to paper over her guilt at wanting to commit him to a mental institution he had a shiny new MP3 player that Misato had bought him. Things were indeed looking bright for Shinji Ikari, he reached into his pocket for his earbuds and prepared to enjoy the remainder of his lunch period.

This peace was immediately shattered by a red, fast-moving shape descending from the sky that swooped in and landed on top of him. Opening his eyes after the shock of the impact he saw a girl with reddish-brown hair, clad in what looked to be a red tracksuit reminiscent of Touji's grumbling as she gathered fistfuls of parachute silk, muttering angrily under her breath all the while. Shinji sat up to let out a small cough as he attempted to regain his breath. The girl's head snapped around and fixed him with a piercing glare, almost instantly he found himself on the ground again with a red-clad foot pressing down on his chest, he couldn't tell what the girl was yelling at him about, but whatever language it was in certainly sounded angry. A small voice in the back of Shinji's head told him that some people paid a lot of money for this sort of thing.

"S-sorry for…uh I can't understand you."

The angry yelling stopped and a look of realization crossed the girl's face before resuming in Japanese.

"Look! You better not tell anybody I'm here, because I'm on a top-secret mission and I won't have some bratty schoolboy ruin my-"

A rather high pitch squee of happiness broke then tension, Shinji struggled to pivot his body under the girl's heel to find to the source of it to find Kensuke, holding a red, white, and orange-striped lunchbox with a large '02' printed on it bouncing up and down. The boy was struggling to spit out any sort of coherent sentence.

"C-captain S-shiki-"

"Captain Shikinami?"

Shinji finished the sentence for his friend. Causing the girl to stare with a shocked expression.

"Who told you that name?!"

The heel dug in a little further.

"M-my friend Kensuke has all of your merchandise. He's a big fan of yours!"

"So let me guess, you're some lame fanboy too?"

"No? I'm Shinji, I pilot Unit-01."

The weight left Shinji's chest as the girl examined him with a dismissive eye, she scoffed.

"Seriously? You look like an idiot."

"I-I'm an idiot? I'm not the one who's an idiot, I was just minding my own business and properly and you ran into me! M-maybe you're the idiot!"

Kensuke stepped between the pair silently mouthing 'don't blow this for me' at Shinji.

"Hey, now how about we all just calm down. I'm sure after her long trip here that Captain Shikinami could use something to eat, why don't we invite her to have lunch with us?"

"Ken, she's a jerk. Why would I want to have lunch with her?"

"Yeah, why would I want to have lunch with you two clowns?"

"W-well…err, we have the other two Eva pilots who'd probably just love to meet you!"

Shinji stared at his friend, and then back at Shikinami who was preoccupied with her parachute harness.

"Fine. I guess."

Cafeteria

"…but unlike that show, Magical Sadboy Puppy-kun is a deconstruction of a reconstruction of an homage to the magical girl genre that subverts tropes by making its protagonist a boy."

"I see."

Rei stared at her Miso soup and drew comfort from its relative simplicity compared to the anime that Mari-chan had been watching while she was in the hospital. It seemed rather complex.

"Is it about Ikari-kun?"

"No, it's just sort of a coincidence. I mean he looked like a sad puppy when I met him…and hey who's the redhead?"

Rei looked up from her food.

"The Second Child."

"We have a new Eva pilot?! Why didn't anyone tell me we were getting one?"

"I just did."

The pair were soon joined by Shinji, Kensuke, and a rather bored-looking Second Child. Kensuke was blathering on about them to their new companion, seemingly unaware that she was more interested in her phone than anything else. Mari was equally oblivious.

"Hi, I'm Mari Makinami, I pilot Unit-05 and it's really great to meet a new pilot, I'm sure we'll be best friends!"

The redhead continued tapping away at her phone.

"So, what's your name?"

There was no response, Rei decided to break the silence.

"Asuka Langley Shikinami, pilot of Evangelion Production Unit-02."

"Wait, Langley? Like the guy who's crappy robot we blew up?"

That got a rise out of the redhead

"You're the one who blew up my dad's precious Jet Alone?"

"Huh? Oh, no uh Rei did that, I just kinda helped."

Asuka gave a smile, it seemed like it was something she rarely did, like her face would break if she did it repeatedly.

"Serves him right, did dear old dad bring that creep Stern with him too?"

"Uh, the weird guy in black with the sunglasses?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, I'd kill to have seen his face when it happened."

"That's…kinda mean. I mean sure, it blowing up made my legs not work anymore, nearly killed Shinji, and gave us all really nasty radiation poisoning but they still probably worked hard on it."

The smile quickly faded.

"Whatever."

The girl went back to her phone while Mari puffed her cheeks out in annoyance. Tense silence reigned until Kensuke cleared his throat awkwardly.

"So…uh, is Unit-02 here yet?"

Asuka quickly glanced up from the device to regard Ken.

"Huh? Yeah, it'll be here with that old aircraft carrier."

Rei stared in confusion as the boy's to suppress another squee turned into an awkward cough before excitedly turning to the rest of the group.

"We should all go see it together, it'll be cool right?"

Shinji gave the boy an 'are you kidding me?' stare before fixing Asuka with an annoyed glare.

"Sorry Ken, I've got to go grocery shopping after school."

Kensuke turned to Rei and Mari with a desperate look in his eyes.

"Well, how about Mari? Rei?"

"Sorry, got tons of work to catch up on."

Rei gave the boy her typical blank stare.

"Mari-chan and I are 'study-buddies'."

A look of defeat spread across the bespectacled boy's face.

"W-well then I guess it's just going to be me and Captain Shikinami then!"

Asuka let out a grunt of displeasure and started rummaging through her pockets.

"Damnit, forgot to pack my charger."

"We can stop and get you one on the way to see Unit-02!"

The girl continued to look dejectedly at the now dead phone.

"Sorry kid, I've got better things to do then go sightseeing with you."

The bell signaling the end of lunch rang out, leaving poor Kensuke alone.

 

[Doctor Squared]

A much better Kaji encounter, and I'm loving these butterflies with how Shinji's interacting with Asuka. Also Magical Sadboy Puppy-kun is amazing and I want to know more.

Click to shrink...

What are Rei and Mari studying together? Aside from Magical Sadboy Puppy-kun.

Click to shrink...

Seizure-inducing opening credits and overly-upbeat pop music that came with it ended and the scene was replaced with the sight of a boy, dressed in a typical schoolboy's uniform stood in a pre-Impact city, the sound of cicadas echoed through the empty streets and the boy burst out into tears.

Rei Ayanami was unmoved.

"When does the show start?"

The sudden snap-crack of a sonic boom answered that question with a bluish blur slamming into the ground in front of the crying boy with a pained 'nyah'. As the dust cleared, the boy rubbed his eyes and found himself standing in front of a roughed up girl with pale skin, blue hair and inexplicably a set of cat ears perched atop her head. Rei fixed her companion with a slightly judgmental stare to which she gave a cat-like grin. Finally gaining his composure, the boy found the courage to speak.

"H-hey? Are you oka- oh, I feel sick."

The girl was dressed in…well, it hurt to look at it directly, it was at first glance a typical schoolgirl uniform, but the colors, patterns, and myriad of accessories made a rather mundane design into an eldritch horror stitched by Elton John's tailor. Its wearer didn't seem to like it much either, opening her red eyes slightly and letting out a pained 'nyah' in a soft voice.

"Uh, m-my name is Puppy, do you need any -AHHH!"

Suddenly a bright red sports car driven by a blonde woman who proceeded nearly run the poor boy over. After giving her name, which Rei didn't particularly care to remember she proceeded to dump all the relevant information about the city, the shadowy organization she worked for, and on and on. Puppy-kun didn't appear to be paying attention as he spent the entire time screaming in abject terror while his newfound companion was too busy with a case of severe everything trauma to notice.

Somewhere in the middle of the scene Rei had lost interest and became more focused on the boxes of various manga, collectables, and articles of clothing in various states of repair and construction in various vibrant shades of pink, purple, and magenta, a small model of Provisional Unit-05 sat on the table with a picture showing Dr. Heck with a man and a woman who looked very much like Mari.

"Oh, oh! Rei here's that scene I was telling you about!"

She turned back to the screen where a woman dressed in what could be charitably called a lab coat, a witch's hat, full-length opera gloves, and a pair of glasses that seemed to have more rhinestones than lenses.

"M-mother what is this why did you bring me here?"

"I brought you here because I have use for you, put on the Magical Girl Uniform, Puppy-kun or Kitten will have to wear it again."

Puppy let out a sob.

"Y-you can't be serious, I mean look at it, it's awful! Plus if Kitten wore it and that happened to her what happens if I go out in that?"

"That's the point, you're the only one who can pull off an outfit that hideous. Reality itself recoils at its very existence, almost nothing can hope to pierce its Absolute Tackiness Field."

Rei let out a sigh.

"Will the scenes of physical conflict be interesting?"

Mari gave a small frown.

"Oh, uh Magical Sadboy Puppy-kun is more of a slow-burn character-driven, slice of life sort of story. It's what makes it a deconstruction of most magical girl shows. If you want something more combat driven there's Gatcha Grabber: Mighty Congregation. I think I have the encyclopedia with all the background that you'd need to know beforehand around here somewhere…."

 

[Doctor Squared]

The good news is that thanks to Shinji's social anxiety it's more like Manic Pixie Nightmare Girl.

Click to shrink...

Mari's friendly enough, it's just that sometimes she's just a bit much for a poor introvert like Shinji.





Shinji hummed to himself as he walked up the stairs with a bag of groceries in his arms. He was finally home, Misato was working the graveyard shift filling out paperwork, everything was going to be fine, and he was going to kick back, relax and enjoy a nice evening of well-deserved solitude, for real this time.

Reality proved to be disappointing once again as he opened the door to the apartment to see a brown-haired man dressed in a business suit talking to someone on the phone while a still-sullen Asuka sat on a stack of red luggage still tapping away at her phone. The brown-haired man noticed him and started moving towards him in an attempt to shake his hand.

"Hey there, Sonny."

"Er, it's Shinji." he stammered out, still dealing with the shock of having his evening plans ruined.

"Sorry. Jack Langley, Langley Defense Systems. We built that Jet Alone robot from a few weeks back."

"I-it kinda gave me radiation poisoning."

There was a small twitch in the corner of the man's eye.

"Well, what's a little ionizing radiation between friends? Tell you what, to make it up to you how about I take you and your friends for a nice dinner, take some PR pictures, show that there are no hard feelings? I even brought my daughter Asuka, she's about your age I'm sure you two will get along like a house on fire, what do you say?"

With that Asuka looked up from her phone and fixed him with a death glare, which he returned in kind. Langley seemed to be oblivious to all of this.

"Shinji?"

Presented with a range of possible options, Shinji chose the one he was most comfortable with. He placed the bag of groceries down on a nearby table and then proceeded to run out the door as quickly as he could, not paying any attention to Langley's shouts, or the neighbors in the halls. He finally reached the bottom floor before his legs cramped on him. A sweaty, panting Langley followed a few minutes later.

"Christ kid, you've got some legs on you. The hell was all that about?"

The boy gulped down another breath of air.

"I'm not going anywhere if she's going to be there."

"Who? Oh. Oh, I take it you and Asuka already met."

"She parachuted into me and then started yelling at me!"

Langley let out a weary sigh.

"Yeah, she does that. I mean, she's a good kid at heart. Higher maintenance than my pre-Impact Porsche and ex-wife combined and I'm partially to blame for that for putting my career ahead of my family…you're not buying this at all are you?"

Shinji shook his head.

"Okay then. How much do you want?"

"W-what?"

"Look, I really need to do this to appease the IPEA and my shareholders and I get that you don't want to do this so name your price."

Shinji thought for a moment. Nobody ever raised the subject of paying him for his trouble before, actually come to think of it, did pilots get paid? Then again, it seemed pretty sad that Mr. Langley had to actually try and bribe him to spend time with his daughter, the more self-loathing parts in the back of his mind made him picture himself in the same situation.

"Does it have to be money? Because Mari's Eva needs new legs and Mari kinda does too, Rei could really use a nicer apartment, and I really want just want some peace and quiet."

"First two, no problem. The last one's a bit tricky since can you really put a physical value on peace of mind."

An awkward silence held between the two for a moment.

"That's a joke son, little corporate slogan? Eh, forget it. Wasn't that funny anyway. We'll get the lab and finance people to work on it, all you need to do is just hang tight for a couple of hours and get ready while we get everything set up. Dinner's at eight, we'll send a car got it?"

"Uh…"

"Great! See you soon!"

With that Langley departed. Creeping back up the stairs to the apartment Shinji found Asuka in the exact same place he'd left her, glancing up from her phone she fixed him with yet another glare."

"He bribed you didn't he? Oh don't give me that look, he's done the same thing for every birthday or special thing he needs a bunch of people to show up to."

"Gee, I can't imagine why."

For whatever reason, the redhead seemed to like that.

"Y'know you've got a lot of backbone for a kid who cried and ran away when they tried to stick him in the Eva."

She wasn't wrong but he wasn't going to admit it.

"Wha…I didn't run away!"

A wicked grin spread across the girl's face.

"Uh huh, Misato said differently in her emails."

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm serious, she's like my big freaking sister. She practically raised me when I was little, taught me how to ride a bike, was there when they dumped me out of a plane the first time…"

Well, that certainly explained a lot.

"…but anyway I need to get back to grinding for rare drops."

With that, she went back to her phone. Now was Shinji's chance, he could get to his room throw on his headphones and enjoy the blessed solitude he had been craving all day…but the tiny thread of morbid curiosity had wrapped itself around his mind.

"What are you playing?"

"Gatcha Grabber: Great Congregation."

"Isn't that one of those games that you just throw money at until you win?"

Oh boy, the death glare returned again.

"No! It requires skill and hard work, all of my Legendary characters were farmed the hard way I didn't need my stupid dad's money to get them!"

"Okay."

The death glare continued until a small ping rang out from the phone which was met by a happy squee.

"Yes! New Legendary! Come to mama!"

With that, Shinji ran to his room to wait out dinner.

 

[Doctor Squared]

"Welcome to Cafe NERV, I'll be your server this evening. Our dinner special is Risotto Akagi." It had taken six hours in order to find a restaurant that suited everyone's needs. The fancy steakhouse near Tokyo-3 International Airport had been out given that Rei didn't eat meat, ramen was too plebeian for the occasion according to Langley, and Shinji had apparently vaporized the only Italian place in the city with a positron beam a few months ago. The end result was a theme restaurant set up for the tourists. Not that anybody in their right mind would ever come to Tokyo-3 on vacation.

Not that any of this mattered to Mari, she had a new friend to make. The illustrious Captain Shikinami, which was a bit strange because Shikinami was an Eva pilot like her and she wasn't a captain, let alone an illustrious one and Illustrious was literally her middle name. Maybe she should have asked Mr. Langley to make her a captain instead of having Unit-05 painted pink? Hmm…

"Sooo, Unit-02's the mass-production type right?"

Asuka looked up from her phone, a swathe of brightly animated chibi characters dancing across its screen.

"Yeah."

"And it's red right?"

The redhead let out a small snort of derision before her usual wicked grin spread across her face "No, it doesn't go three times faster than a regular Eva. But I might have come here to laugh at you."

"Yay, you got my reference! Nobody here seems to pick up on them."

"Or they don't want to. Just quoting anime doesn't make up for not having a personality of your own. Like the doll over there." She tilted her head to regard Rei, who was staring at her menu while Shinji continued to stare daggers at her.

Mari shrugged her shoulders. "Eh, I can live with it. It's better than being some generic tsundere who tries to be edgy." Asuka sputtered as her comeback died on her lips while Mari gave her a victorious smile. "It's okay Princess, we're gonna be fighting Angels together so we might as well try to get along."

"Hmmph."

Meanwhile, across the table, things weren't going much better. A rather bored Misato sat at the table across from the children as Langley stared at the olive perched at the bottom of his martini glass. None of this was noticed by Heck and Stern who were excitedly talking about work.

"So the plan is that we'll refit the spare parts from the production model Jet Alone onto your Provisional chassis. It'll take a little interface work but I'm sure we'll be able to get it to work."

Heck stroked his beard. "They're not radioactive or possessed by Satan are they?"

Stern scoffed. "Nothing that a few truckloads of sand, boron, and holy water couldn't fix."

Sensing things were heading south Langley piped up. "Don't worry Steve, everything's totally above board. Your little girl will have the finest in modern combat exoskeleton technology. Non-nuclear of course, plus it's pink."

"Ah yes, pink. I take it that was your concession then Langley?"

Langley shrugged "Well it was either two tons of paint or me making Stern's R&D team build a transforming moped from some show."

"Moe Moto Megane."

The group turned to face Misato, who stared at her beer bottle with an ashamed look on her face. "Ibuki in Ops talks about it."

"Well anyway, we'll get the refit and repaint done a few days. Everything will be just fi- Asuka! No putting your fellow pilots in a headlock!"

Holding Cells, NERV HQ

A battered, bruised Kaji sat in the dull grey cell. It wouldn't be the first time he was in one and he sincerely hoped that it wouldn't be the last.

"Mr. Kaji. I see you've finally made it." Looking up, the scruffy man saw Gendo Ikari standing before him holding a bottle of what appeared to be scotch and a pair of glasses.

"I don't suppose that this is the last drink I get before you tell me that I've failed you for the last time is it?"

"It would be a bit cliched wouldn't you think?" The door to the cell and the commander poured himself a drink before offering one to the inspector. "You see, Mr. Kaji after I lost my wife all those years ago I found myself questioning why it happened, what could be done about it, what the truth of the matter was…I suspect your motivations are similar." He noticed the scruffy man's hesitation at taking his glass. "Please, Mr. Kaji if I wanted you poisoned there are much easier ways of doing it."

Taking a tentative sip of his drink, the inspector started to speak. "I've never been married so I don't believe I can relate."

"Ah, but you did lose family to Second Impact didn't you? Either way, you must have some interest in the matter, given your eagerness to steal the Key of Nebuchadnezzar. Would you care to see what it opens?"

"It would depend on if I ever see anything ever again. You don't tend to be this open about what goes on inside that head of yours Ikari."

"Consider it me turning over a new leaf. Now, let me show you the bright future we intend to usher in."

 

[Doctor Squared]

The blue Renault flew down the darkened roads to Tokyo-3. Dinner had been a complete mess, having to listen to that blowhard Langley trying to score PR points while Heck and that creepy Stern guy talked shop really put a damper on what would be the enjoyment of free food and beer. Letting out a sigh Misato glanced over at her passenger seat to see Shinji still fixing her with what had started to become his usual glare. She was used to a certain amount of teenage grumpiness from her time with Asuka but this was just disconcerting maybe it was because it made the boy look like his father.

"Hey, Shinji?" the boy glanced away pretending not to notice her. "I'm sorry for not believing you earlier."

"It's fine."

"No it isn't, something's bothering you so you can tell me y'know?"

"Why? So you can tell Asuka all about how I just cry and run away every time I have to get into Unit-01?"

Uh oh.

"Shinji…"

"What, Asuka's really high maintenance and you just said those things to make her feel better?"

Well, he wasn't wrong.

"Okay, yes." The glaring continued. "I get it, I'm a bad guardian. Is that what you want me to say? Because you can't just sit there and be angry at me forever."

"I want some respect! I cook and do all of the housework because you couldn't be a responsible adult if you tried and meanwhile I just get teased all the time! Then I just get some jerk new pilot just dropped on me without warning on top of nearly dying and my father telling me why he abandoned me and everything's just a mess!" The boy then deflated and muttered under his breath. "I would have been better off living alone."

The major bit her lower lip, and let out a sigh.

"Is that what you want? To just run away and be alone?" Shit, she shouldn't have said that.

"I'm not running away, I'll pilot your Eva. That's what you want isn't it?"

There was the rapid snap of a downshift and the Alpine's engine gave a throaty roar.

"Fine. I'll take care of the transfer paperwork in the morning."

Eva Cages, the next morning

The elevator panel clicked slowly as the car made its way down to the cages carrying the children to their sync test. Rei stared straight ahead at the door while Asuka, tapped away angrily at her phone. Shinji, still upset tried to explain his situation to a sympathetic Mari.

"So Misato kicked you out for O Captain, My Captain over there?"

"She didn't kick me out, I left of my own free will. She's the one who dragged me into living with her in the first place." He added a little 'hmph' at the end to emphasize that point, as Mari looked on in surprise at the normally meek boy's anger.

"Oookay, then. Y'know, if you need a place to stay Dr. Heck and I have a spare room and I've always wanted a puppy." She suddenly realized what she said as her friend turned beet red. "Uh, I..er..I'd be happy to have you?" More blushing. "I mean yeah…we have an extra room."

"T-thanks?"

The two stood in awkward silence until it was shattered by gratuitous German cursing and the sound of a smartphone bouncing off the wall.

"Gott verdammt! Why won't it connect to the network?! It was working just fine yesterday!"

Rei stared at the device as it sat on the ground. "The password for the network changes daily. It is for security and so that Lieutenant Ibuki doesn't spend an excessive amount of time playing Sweet Neko Online during her lunch break."

Asuka quickly scooped up her phone and changed her tone to a softer one. "Can you tell me what it is?" The blue-haired girl continued to stare. "Please? I really need my daily login bonus!"

"I do not know what it is."

All goodwill the captain had towards Rei evaporated as quickly as it had appeared "Well thanks for nothing Doll."

"You are welcome."

The elevator chimed and the doors slid open to reveal the Evas. Unit-01 was still wrapped in rubbery sheets that covered the scars left from the Jet Alone explosion. Unit-05 stood next to it, hanging from a series of cables, the stumps of its shattered arms and severed pelvis were swarming with workers from Langley Defense Systems, trying to effect repairs to the hodgepodge machine. Across the bay, a team in familiar beige coveralls was cleaning carbon scoring off of Unit-00's paintwork as its single eye seemed to stare on in judgment of its new neighbor, the gleaming red Unit-02.

"Good afternoon everyone, if everyone could take their places we'll be out of here in no time. Miss Shikinami, would you kindly turn off your cell phone? It interferes with the instruments." The girl let out a grunt and mumbled something under her breath. "I can provide you with the wi-fi password afterward."

"Password first, then sync test."

"Oh very well. Today's password is Doctor Nyakagi, no spaces all lower case."

"Yeeesss. Come to mama!" Asuka started tapping away and started smiling her usual wicked grin. Heck, let out a chuckle.

"It's only good for one day though, had you played along you might have gotten on the daily password email."

"Yeah whatever, delayed gratification or something. Time for log-in bonus!" With one final tap of her phone, the lights went out and the music the doctor had been playing was replaced with the blare of the Pattern Blue alarm, there was a sudden shudder and the sound of rending steel could be heard outside before the automated alert system went off.

"Pattern Blue confirmed. Angel detected, designation Iruel. Warning. Manifestation detected within Geofront perimeter"

Mari let out an annoyed snarl. "Oh come on! Possessing me isn't enough, so you have to ruin sync test day too? I was going to get new legs and bubble tea!"

Rei just stared at Unit-00. "We can still get some if we don't destroy the tea shop in our defense of the city."