Asuka doesn't even know the truth in full and she can already sense that Rei is a clone of Shinji's mum.
Or she's subconsciously trying to reassure herself that Rei isn't a threat for Shinji's romantic attention. Not that she wants Shinji to think about her like that or anything. lol
Shinji's doing a remarkably good job of speaking Ayanami here, as long as Asuka doesn't interrupt him too much.
Lucky for everyone involved that Asuka is too engrossed in her own thing to really notice the two of them getting along (Shinji called Rei his friend! Rei invited them in when Shinji said that's what you do with friends! They're holding a conversation (kind of!)! Other stuff!). She'd no doubt do something that upsets everyone, including herself. She's an expert at that, after all.
Τις είναι θέλεις σαυτώ πρώτον ειπέ. Είθ' ούτως ποίει ά ποιείς. (First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.) — Epitctetus
Nine white harpies circled overhead, glistening red tongues working across grotesque, toothy smiles in anticipation. Pinned to the ground by her enemies' weapons, Asuka desperately reached toward them. She strained her arm upward as the beasts descended, circling, their wingspans filling her vision as they approached. Finally, one strayed close enough to her frantic, grasping hand, and she caught its throat tightly in her fist.
The young girl seized the stuffed toy to her chest in a brutal grip, her face a hard mask of dark determination and loathing. She pulled the doll's head from its body and dropped the mutilated gift to the floor, stomping on the corpse. Soft white stuffing muffled the sound of her footfall and spilled out of the carcass. "Toys are for children. I hate toys." She raised her head to confront the woman she hated.
With her gaze levelled, Asuka met her own eyes in the mirror. Her hands were clenched on either side of the basin of a sink in an empty washroom buried beneath the Geofront. Water was flowing out of the tap, the susurration a sorely welcomed distraction from her body's betrayal. The recurring pain was subsiding, but the agony she most keenly felt was not physical. "I'm useless," she muttered, squeezing her eyes shut against unshed tears.
She curled into herself on top of her bed, her roommate's footsteps sounding his trek to his own bedroom while their guardian, oblivious, blacked out, snored in her quarters. Asuka sought out the fury she urgently needed to banish the shame and heartache that was currently plaguing her. Her old ally, however, did not answer the call. Having laid herself bare, she had been rejected. Just as she knew she would be. As she always would be. A muted sob escaped her throat as her fingers, unbidden, lightly traced her lips. The contact only served to highlight the cold, longing feeling.
The oppressive heat and pressure closed in on her, the red glow of the magma visible even with her eyes tightly shut. "I did it, but it doesn't even matter," she whispered. She could feel herself dropping down, the pressure incrementally growing with the depth. With a sigh, she accepted her fate, sinking into the familiar comfort of the entry plug. "Will you be waiting for me, Momma?"
Asuka's eyes fluttered open in consciousness, and she rose calmly, swinging her legs off of the cot she had been laying on to sit up. She was no stranger to peculiar dreams these days—in fact, she welcomed them, considering ever since her "return" they had stood in for her recurring nightmares about losing her mother.
I'm sure knowing that Momma is watching out for me in Unit 02 is responsible for this particular reprieve. She began her normal waking routine of not examining her subconscious' torments, burying them under the weight of thinking about literally anything else.
A quick glance around the pilot's ready room revealed that she was the sole occupant, despite the First Child being with her before she had fallen asleep. After leaving the operations center, she had returned to the locker rooms to wait for her comrade, then informed her of the need for sleep while they could get it. Rei, unsurprisingly, had agreed, and the pair had laid down in separate cots in the sparsely furnished room provided for the pilot's comfort during times when they would need to be on standby for immediate deployment.
While there was no blue haired pilot in the room with her, she did spy a few new residents that had not been present before her nap. A note was sitting on the small, round table in the center of the room, a can of soda and a bag of chips accompanying it. Asuka rose from her uncomfortable sleeping spot, made just that much more uncomfortable by sleeping in her plugsuit, and stepped over to the table, stretching her arms over her head and flexing her back to work out the kinks she had developed.
She reached for the soda, popping it open with a
kshh that split the silence of the room, and read over the paper.
Dornröschen,
I figured you could do with the sleep, so I didn't wake you. Besides, I didn't have a handsome prince on hand to give you true love's kiss, since Shin-chan is still resting in the hospital (Misato had inserted a crudely drawn picture of a figure vaguely identifiable as a woman, prone, with red hair and a red dress ("Where did she get a red pen? Does she just carry one around for stupid shit like this?"
) while another figure, male, wearing bulky, absurdly disproportionate purple armor with green accents ("And she's got purple and green?!"
) leaned over the woman, his head obscuring her face and a cloud of stylized hearts surrounding them. Asuka scoffed but kept reading). We've got a plan to deal with the Angel, but I needed Ayanami's help with a procurement issue. It's a lot easier to convince someone to hand things over when you've got an Evangelion standing behind you!
When we get back I'll brief you on your part, so sit tight for now. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!
XOXO
Misato
"The point of Sleeping Beauty was that she didn't wake up alone, you drunk, did you even read the story?" Asuka asked the empty room from around the bag of chips as she used her teeth to rip it open, still holding her drink with one hand. She upended the open bag, tilting it towards her mouth to catch a few of the chips. She wrinkled her nose at the taste, but chewed and swallowed anyway, the memory of her satisfying lunch being far behind her. "Stupid Japanese with their gross chips. Who wants squid flavored chips?"
Asuka quickly finished off the rest of the bag, draining the can of soda (
Green tea flavored?! Misato, you're banned from getting me snacks ever again) afterwards to banish the taste. While tossing the remains of her impromptu refreshment into a garbage can across the room, Asuka considered making her way to the dining facility to acquire more substantial food.
Better not, she advised herself while she made her way to exit the room anyway,
we're deploying soon. Full stomachs don't play well with LCL and the rigors of combat.
Past the threshold, Asuka turned to peer down the short distance that led to the Eva cages where, she assumed, technicians were finishing the repairs to Unit 01's armor.
That, or prepping it for transport. The location of Unit 01's firing position was one of the few things not
redacted from the report on the battle against the Fifth Angel that I'd had access to. She shook her head, ignoring how her overreliance on assumptions lately was making some of her more academically inclined senses tingle, and turned down the other side of the hallway.
Without conscious effort on her part, she found herself inside an elevator, being raised to the level that housed the medical wing. Still underground, of course; Asuka had rarely seen actual sunlight in the time since her early arrival in Japan, mostly the harsh electric lighting inside Central Dogma or, at best, the softer artificial attempt to mimic natural light in the open areas of the Geofront where she would sometimes conduct training.
As the doors opened on her destined floor, Asuka strode towards a hapless man wearing scrubs with all the haughty confidence she could muster (quite a lot, of course). "The Third Child?" The imperiousness in her voice caused the man to look up from the clipboard he was reading over, his eyes displaying an irritation that Asuka could relate to, though was still trying her patience.
Yeah, yeah, your job sucks. Mine's worse. Get over it.
"He's recovering in Room 4. Down that hall, on your right," he informed her with a nod of his head down one of the corridors that branched off behind him. Asuka brushed past him as he returned to his notes, interaction complete. The too short walk down the hallway brought her to the Third Child's room. Out of sight of any passersby, Asuka hesitated at the door, hand tentatively raised to the doorknob but quickly dropped. She
huffed exasperatedly and crossed her arms over her chest.
I'm just checking on a fellow pilot. That's all, no reason to get so worked up. She stepped to one side of the door, smoothly turning to face the opposite wall while simultaneously falling back to lean casually against the wall behind her.
I told Misato I would check on him, so that's why I'm here. She nonchalantly swung her head from side to side, taking in the corridor devoid of anything besides the occasional bench or plastic shrub.
It's my responsibility as the ranking pilot to ensure that he is recovering properly. Misato made it clear, in word and deed, that she's incapable of taking care of the pilots. Asuka unfolded her right arm and brought her hand up to her face, fingers curled into her palm, inspecting her nails.
This added responsibility all lines up perfectly with my plans anyway. She returned her arm to its previous position.
So just do it!
With another
huff, she pushed off from the wall and faced her challenger once again. Her anger renewed, if only slightly, and perhaps partially directed at herself, she did not hesitate at the doorknob, twisting it firmly and shoving her way into the room, ready to confront the Third Child for his crimes.
"I swear, Idiot, if you—" Her tirade was halted when she took in the sight the room had to offer: Shinji, laying asleep in a hospital bed and wearing a serene face that she so rarely saw on him.
Oh, come on! Her anger prematurely defused, Asuka impotently stared at him as she slowly walked up next to the bed.
This isn't fair. He just looks helpless. And happy. And pathetic. And—AARRGGHH! Stop it! You need to focus, Soryu! Stop letting those perverts mess with your head.
With something new to be angry about, Asuka's sense of purpose was refreshed. She cleared her throat loudly, the exaggerated
AHEM breaking the silence of the room. The Third Child did not react, oblivious to the rising storm in his slumbering state. "Third!" She snapped, louder than she had cleared her throat. Not loud enough, it seemed, to have her desired effect. She reached a hand out towards the sleeping boy, redirecting it to his shoulder when it drifted further down along his arm than she had intended. Hand safely gripped on his shoulder, she shook him, not harshly but certainly not gently, though it only served to cause the boy to furrow his brow in his sleep and mutter something quietly that she couldn't quite make out.
Asuka withdrew her hand and glared menacingly at him, crossing her arms over her chest again. "Wake
up, Idiot!" She punctuated her growl with the delivery of a strong kick to the nearby leg of the bed. The bed slid half a meter at an awkward angle, accompanied by a ringing
screech of metal being forcefully dragged across
whatever-NERV-made-the-floors-in-this-place-out-of and the boy's return to consciousness.
"Huwhuah?" Shinji yelped intelligently as he jolted up slightly from his supine position, eyes open wide and darting around the room. They settled on the incensed redhead, and he smiled tentatively. "Asuka, wh—"
"Good, you're awake. I'm here to check on your recovery," she interrupted, breaking her stare as she stomped towards the foot of the bed. Once settled there, she resumed her glare, which Shinji was returning with a look that belied a mix of confusion and embarrassment. He had a slight blush effusing his cheeks.
"Oh, uh, I'm fine. Mostly," he assured her. "The doctors said it's psych—"
He was interrupted, again, this time by Asuka grabbing onto the end of the bed and crudely jerking it back into its previous position. The bed voiced its protest at being moved, again, and its occupant cringed at the sound. "Psychosomatic pain? No other injuries?"
"No, just the pain." Shinji scooted back slightly to sit up fully, bunching up the sheet puddled at his waist in his fists and casting his eyes around to avoid Asuka's interrogative scowl. "Erm, is something wrong?"
You, you dumbass! "Oh, no, it's just that
you're in the fucking hospital! What the hell happened, Third?! I heard you get hit, then—"
Then I took a nap. And had a snack. Fuck. Way to go, Soryu. You're as bad as the sot. Why didn't you check on your pilot first? She maintained her stranglehold on the railing at the foot of the bed, the metal being a safer target for her ire.
Being tired isn't an excuse. Misato saying he'd be fine isn't an excuse.
"Oh." Shinji's blush deepened, the boy apparently interpreting her abrupt cutoff as indicative of something that, as was becoming a habit, Asuka was not going to think about. She had things to be enraged about instead. "I—well, that is, we got the alert that an Angel had appeared, and Misato-san ordered me to launch immediately." Asuka waited
very patiently for the boy to get through the obvious recitation of events and into what she did not already know,
very calmly fighting the urge to storm back over to his side, turn him upside down, and shake the story out of him like she was emptying a bag of squid flavored chips. The air practically vibrated with her patience and calmness.
"She said that Ayanami-san would be launching in Unit 00 soon, and not to engage unless necessary until she got there. But, uh, as soon as I stepped off the launch platform, I barely got two more steps before—" Shinji grimaced, still not meeting her eyes, though Asuka couldn't tell if it was from shame, embarrassment, pain, or some combination thereof. "Someone was yelling about energy readings, and I reacted. I put up Unit 01's AT field," he snuck a quick glance up to Asuka, who remained mostly unreadable aside from her mask of irritation, "but it wasn't much use."
Shinji brought one hand to his bare chest, gingerly prodding at the unblemished skin with a wince. Asuka's grip, somehow, tightened. "And?"
"The Angel has some kind of energy beam thing? It hit Unit 01 right in the chest. It—um, it hurt, and I fell down." Shinji returned to gripping his sheets and looking at his hands. "I guess I landed on the platform, and they dropped it back down, but it's all kind of a blur until I ended up here. The doctor said the AT field was enough to protect the LCL in the entry plug from being boiled, so I was lucky to be uninjured physically. Sorry I screwed up," he added morosely.
"Don't apologize." Her quick retort hit the boy harshly. He jerked his head to the side, away from Asuka, who was regretting her instinctual response. "Look, Third," she sighed as she let go of the railing, almost surprised at the lack of indentations in the metal from her grasp, "No one could have known the Angel would be able to strike so quickly, or so strongly."
Except for me. Was that in the report I read? I don't think it was, there was so much redacted, but at the time I wasn't—ugh, now isn't the time for self-flagellation, Soryu!
Asuka walked over to the bedside chair she had ignored when she initially stormed the room, dropping into it heavily. She noticed Shinji following her movement out of the corner of his eye, still not turning back to face her. "Let's just look at the facts: you're not hurt, physically, at least, and Unit 01 took minimal damage and will be ready to deploy against the Angel again soon. If it isn't already."
"I guess so," Shinji muttered, finally looking back at Asuka. "It's just that this was my first time fighting for real since I started training with you, and I let everyone down, and I know you would have done better, and I don't—"
"Oh, just
shut up, Third," Asuka growled. She gave him no time to sulk in that rebuke before pressing on. "What are you, stupid? You did fine, ok? That's the point I was trying to make. Your AT field took the brunt of the attack, your
evasive maneuvers spared you any lasting damage,
and Misato already has a plan to deal with the Angel. Any failure in the initial operation isn't down to your piloting, it's because of a lack of knowledge on NERV's part regarding the Angels."
More like a lack of preparation on my part. I'll do better moving forward—I have to. The fight with the Sixth Angel will go way
differently. All it took was a phone call. I can't believe I let them ship my Unit 02 over the ocean without C-type equipment last time!
Shinji blushed at the oblique praise but smiled and did not look away. "Thanks, Asuka," he told her softly. "I—"
"Knock knock! I'm not interrupting anything inappropriate, am I?" A voice interrupted, accompanied by the operations director's head poking through the partly opened doorway. "Oh, good, I knew I heard you in here, Asuka." Misato entered the room fully, shouldering the door the rest of the way open. One hand held a folder stuffed with loose papers while the other raked through her hair.
"Dealing with JSSDF procurement officers is exhausting work, let me tell you. Actually, no, I won't tell you, I need you awake right now," she said with a sigh as she approached Asuka. "Seeing their faces when Unit 00 lifted the roof off of their warehouse was pretty funny, though." She grinned at the pilots, who gave her mirrored quizzical looks. "Oh, right, the briefing, you guys wouldn't know.
"Here." She handed her folder to Asuka, who took it and began rifling through its contents as the captain spoke. "I'll just cover your part of the plan for now, Asuka, you can read the rest while I finalize the positioning." Asuka skimmed over the first page in the folder, noting the phrase OPERATION YASHIMA printed throughout.
It seems to be about the same. "You'll be piloting Unit 01 and firing the prototype weapon I just snagged from a JSSDF warehouse: a positron rifle. Which, when supplied with enough electricity, has the firepower needed to take out the Angel in one shot. The tricky part is charging the damn thing, but we've got that covered.
"While you take the shot in Unit 01, Ayanami will be providing cover for you in Unit 00. We expect the Angel to be able to detect the energy buildup of the rifle charging, though to mitigate that your firing position, while within the Angel's effective targeting range, is outside of the determined threat response range. Combined with the JSSDF and defensive emplacements providing some distractions, you should be able to take your shot without having to worry about counterfire."
Asuka nodded thoughtfully as she noted the details on the paper in her hands. "You said one shot will kill. What if it doesn't?"
"It will," Misato assured her with the confidence of someone who knew how precariously things were balanced.
Asuka scoffed in response, noting that not even Shinji had been inspired by their commander's faith. "Ok, fine. What if I miss, then?"
"Don't miss," Misato blanched. "Unit 01 is being fitted with a targeting visor that will take data directly from the Magi, so all you have to do is hold the rifle steady and aim where it tells you. But the rifle takes at least 30 seconds to charge for each shot, and your firing position is fixed due to the charging infrastructure. And I don't think any amount of distraction will deter the Angel from responding to your fire, Asuka. Ayanami will be there to shield you during the reload, but I'd rather not have to rely on that."
"Hmm," Asuka answered.
There was damage to Unit 00 in the first fight, so clearly I should expect to fire more than once—assuming the Angel really won't shoot first. "What do you think, Third?"
Shinji blinked and offered a wide-eyed look. "Umm, me?"
"Yes,
you."
Come on, Idiot, use that brain of yours. You need to be able to think tactically, too, I can't be the only pilot thinking about ways to beat these things. And I suppose talking tactics and swapping ideas is another way to build cohesion in the Pilot Corps. Another thing I'll have to start doing with Ayanami. Ugh, the burdens I take on are only multiplying. "You're a pilot. You've piloted against this Angel. I want to hear what you think."
"Well, uh—" He stammered. "I guess it sounds like a good plan," he said quietly. "But—" He cut himself off with a frown and looked back down at his hands, clenching one opened and closed.
"What is it, Shinji-kun?" Misato asked him, her tone reassuring and supportive. "Whatever you might think of your combat experience, you do have a valuable perspective to offer." She tentatively reached a hand out to Shinji's knee from her position standing next to Asuka but dropped it back down to her side without making contact.
"I'm worried about if the Angel does shoot at Asuka and Ayanami-san." He looked up at his visitors and brought a hand up to poke at his chest again. "They won't be able to move from where they're shooting from, right? That means if it does shoot at them, they'll have to take the full force of the attack. I only got hit for a few seconds and—" He looked down at his naked chest again. "I guess falling backwards saved me, about as much as the AT field did. Do you know how long the Angel can keep up its attack, Misato-san? Will Asuka and Ayanami-san be ok if it does shoot at them?"
Asuka's heart made an unfamiliar tightening feeling in her chest at the raw worry in the boy's voice and face while Misato gave a comforting smile. "I understand, Shinji-kun. It's good to be concerned; I am too. Everyone is. But it's a risk we have to take, and one we've done our best to minimize as much as possible. If it does attack, Ayanami will protect Asuka while she kills the Angel. Unit 00 will have a special shield that Doctor Akagi has assured me will be able to withstand the damage for as long as necessary." She put one hand on Asuka's shoulder, who resisted the urge to shrug it off, and gave it a firm squeeze. "Trust your friends, Shinji-kun."
Accepting, if not mollified, Shinji nodded glumly. "I do, Misato-san." Asuka's heart repeated its exotic maneuver.
"Good. You get back to your rest, Shinji-kun. Asuka and I have a ride to catch. We'll be back later, and we'll tell you all about how we beat the Angel—I'll get them to let you come home, too. There's no reason to keep you cooped up in here if you're not hurt. I'll have someone bring you your clothes, too," she added with a smug grin. Shinji blushed again and covered his bare torso with the sheet, looking away from the two women. Asuka also reddened, diverting her eyes from the naked display she had not previously noticed.
"Good luck, Asuka," he said as the pilot rose from her chair.
"Luck has nothing to do with it, Third. I'm the best there is." Misato offered a parting smile to the boy, in contrast to Asuka's confident smirk, as they left his hospital room. She closed the door behind them with a sigh.
"He's a good kid," she said sadly as they walked down the hall. "I hate sending you guys out to fight these monsters. Hearing him talk like that makes me hate it even more. I just wish," she trailed off without finishing the thought.
"We're pilots, Misato," Asuka said flatly.
I have to fight. It's what I'm here for.
"I know," she replied exasperatedly. "It doesn't mean I have to like it. At least I can rely on you, Asuka. Thanks for checking on him." Misato again reached out for Asuka's shoulder. This time, she ducked the contact under the pretense of moving up to press the elevator call button.
Someone has to. Someone
should have done it earlier. "Is this ride going to the staging area, or am I moving Unit 01 to the surface?"
Misato rolled with the abrupt change in subject. "Staging area; I've got a truck standing by on the surface. I'll give you more details on the way over, but I covered pretty much everything you need to concern yourself with already. Let me know if you have any questions." The pair entered the elevator together.
Ω
Asuka stood atop the scaffolding that had been erected around the pair of Evangelions, Units 01 and 00, standing ready along the road that lead to the firing position. She leaned against the railing and observed the last straggling vehicles departing down the path from the top of the mountain, the mountain itself blocking her view of most of the city and the Angel that hovered ominously over it. On a separate platform, closer to Unit 00, the First Child sat with her arms wrapped around her knees, which she had drawn up to her chest. Her white plugsuit caught the light of the moon and stars, which shone clear and bright in the nationwide blackout, making her stand out next to the Second Child's darker colored red plugsuit.
Neither pilot had spoken since Asuka had arrived several minutes earlier; Asuka was still mulling over her part in the night's main event, while, as far as she could tell, Rei seemed content to let her do so in silence. Never having learned to leave well enough alone, however, the more temperamental of the two inevitably turned her attention to her taciturn teammate.
"This will be your first combat sortie, First. You ready?" Asuka continued to watch the vehicles far below her ponderously move to safety, their role in the operation already complete.
"I will perform as ordered." Rei also maintained her gaze, not looking away from the unobstructed section of the city laid out before them.
Asuka scoffed loudly in response.
And there it is. What is wrong with her? "As ordered. Of course you will." She was intimately familiar with every facet of Operation Yashima, having dissected the operation order Misato had given her and questioned the woman on the finer points of the plan while they had made their way out of the Geofront.
You'll stand there with that scrounged up space shuttle heat shield waiting to jump in front of a particle beam. Silence stretched between the pilots as Asuka considered her previous conclusion to foster a closer relationship with her fellow pilot than she had previously enjoyed.
Just start with something you know she'll get. Any kind of conversation is enough of a step in the right direction, right? She likes orders, like a good little doll—no, no more of that. You've been over this. She's comfortable
with orders, so we can talk about the operation without sniping at each other. Asuka turned to face her comrade, leaning her hip against the railing and keeping her face carefully neutral.
"You want to go over our part in this charade one more time, make sure we're on the same page?"
Rei's eyes flicked over to Asuka. She nodded her head minutely after a brief moment. "At 2330 hours tonight, Evangelion Units 01 and 00 will proceed to the designated position atop Mount Futago. You will pilot Unit 01 and emplace the positron rifle, where it will then be connected to the assembled banks of capacitors that are currently charging. I will pilot Unit 00, in position with the makeshift Eva Anti-Heat and Light Wave Defensive Equipment. At 0000 hours tomorrow morning, Operation Yashima will commence: you will fire the positron rifle at the designated target and destroy it. Recovery operations will follow, to be directed by Captain Katsuragi." She returned her attention to the darkened city.
Ok, so she can memorize well. I already knew that. Asuka fought back her natural reaction to deliver a scathing assessment of the other girl's powers of recollection. "That's the gist of it," she said instead, coolly. "But what do
you think?" She beseeched her with a probing look. "Thoughts? Feelings?" A blank face turned to evaluate her, its owner still hugging her knees. "Personal anecdotes?" Asuka added almost hopefully.
You gotta work with me, here, Ayanami. I'm really trying. But this is a two-way street.
Rei maintained her stare in Asuka's direction, though the girl could tell from the miniscule facial expression she was showing, which would have been indecipherable to her even days before, that her question was being seriously considered.
Eventually, the tension broke with Rei's soft answer. "You were chosen to pilot Unit 01 for multiple reasons. The targeting computer that will guide the sniper in destroying the target could not be mounted onto Unit 00's systems due to existing feedback issues between the Eva and the Magi which remain unresolved. While I could pilot Unit 01 and fire the weapon, you were the more logical choice between the two of us considering your proven ability to synchronize with Unit 01.
"This would suggest that Ikari-kun would be the optimal choice for the operation since his synch rate with Unit 01 is higher than yours." Asuka was about to interject but was cut off. "Captain Katsuragi, however, insisted that Ikari-kun needed time to recover before deploying in Unit 01 again. These conditions left Unit 00 free to deploy defensive measures in the event that the target strikes the firing position. Naturally, I would be its pilot, due to those same conditions leaving me an undesirable choice to pilot Unit 01. We will follow our orders, and the operation will be a success."
Asuka narrowed her eyes.
Tell me how you really
feel, Ayanami, she thought without the sneer she wanted to give showing on her face. "Well, like you said, the logic checks out. But you didn't answer the question."
Rei kept her stare fixed on Asuka but raised an eyebrow slightly. "I explained my understanding of my orders."
Asuka sighed.
Oh, come on! I already went through this with Shinji. Can't I get a break? "Sure, you told me how it's oh-so-logical that it's your job in this operation to be my meat shield in case that giant, floating, three-dimensional azure rhombus gets any funny ideas. But
what do you think about that?" She crossed her arms and frowned at Rei. "For instance,
I think that Misato is being overly optimistic that this rifle can kill the Angel in one shot—and that it won't at least take a potshot at me while I'm stuck there lining up the shot."
"If you are concerned for your safety, Second, do not be. I will protect you."
Anger instantly flashed up into Asuka's chest, but she held her tongue and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself before speaking again.
I don't need—just shut up. "Forget about what I think. You said you'd protect me. Interesting word choice. Not 'My orders are to block the attack,' or something like that. Is protection your interpretation of your part in this mission? Care to expand on that?"
Rei stared at the other girl for several moments, Asuka being unwilling to push any more for fear of losing her already tenuous grasp on civility in the conversation.
How hard is it to just tell me what you think?! "I am expendable. If I can take action to fulfill my orders then my life is irrelevant."
"Bullshit!" Asuka roared, composure broken, as she stomped one foot angrily onto the metal platform with a
clang. "You told me you weren't just some doll!" She was no longer filtering her thoughts before firing them off at the other pilot. "And now you're saying that your life doesn't matter?! That you're being ordered to throw yourself in front of this Angel's attack, and you don't even care?!"
Rei calmly observed the outburst happening across from her.
"Following orders is one thing, First. Hell, I get it! If your back's to the wall and you've got no other option, then fight to the death! Take as many of those fuckers with you as you can!"
Nine white harpies circled overhead, glistening red tongues— "But you don't just go off and
die just because someone ordered you to! Piloting is dangerous, sure. We might die every time we get into an Eva. But it's a
choice. I m—you make your
own decisions, Ayanami, including whether or not to follow stupid orders that will get you killed."
Rei turned away from Asuka, toward Unit 00, and smoothly stood from her seated position. "It is time to move into position."
"Fine," Asuka said with a
huff. With her rage still burning, she stomped over to the ladder at Unit 01's side that led to the entry plug, ascending with prejudice.
We're not finished, Ayanami. I don't care if you have no regard for your own life, but I will
make you at least act like you don't want to die. NERV doesn't get to treat me—treat us like that. Not this time.
Seated in the entry plug, she felt the familiar surge of motion that signaled the plug being twisted into place and gripped the control yokes tightly. LCL flooded the plug and Asuka took in the first lungful as smoothly as air.
Focus on the task at hand. The material of her plugsuit
creaked around her clenched hands as Lieutenant Ibuki began talking through the pre-activation sequence.
Kill the Angel, cheer up the Idiot, then get back to securing Ayanami a place in the Geofront.
"Commencing activation. Asuka?" The normal group of technicians were operating out of a mobile command center, the projected video of the woman showing her crammed into the relatively small space with her and her coworkers seated almost on top of each other, Misato and Doctor Akagi standing behind them.
"Right," Asuka replied, slowly circulating the LCL in and out of her lungs to center herself. She plastered on her normal victorious smirk and closed her eyes.
Once more unto the breach, Unit 01, she mentally articulated to the standoffish resident she seemed to share a tenuous alliance with.
One more fight together, then I get my Unit 02 back and you're stuck with Shinji. If all goes according to plan—which it will.
Unit 01's inhabitant responded to her outreach much as it always did, although with less cajoling than Asuka had been expecting based off of previous experience. A feeling of begrudging acceptance, and what to Asuka felt like a familiar desire to mete out revenge, surged from the Eva, and once again the pilot felt the slightly disconcerting sense of being allowed to tag along.
Like giving a kid a controller that isn't plugged in, so they won't bother whoever's playing the game. Not that I have any experience with that. Asuka banished the thoughts of whiling away her limited free time in university playing video games alone due to her lack of any real friends.
We'll put up with each other to kill the Angels, right, Unit 01?
Unsurprisingly, she received no vocal answer from the Eva, but did get a feeling of agreement, tinged with another sentiment she could not identify.
Good. "Eva Unit 01 activated. Release the locks on the positron rifle." Asuka guided Unit 01 to step out of the scaffolding built in front of it and turned to the massive weapon held in place on an even more massive flatbed trailer nearby.
"Locks released, positron rifle ready for transport to the firing position," Maya informed her.
Unit 01 grabbed the rifle with both hands, hefting it up and cradling it in its arms against its upper chest; even for the Eva, the weapon was too long to feasibly carry in a conventional manner like it would a pallet rifle. The barrel and stock spread on either side of the Eva, just below the height of its shoulders, looming far over trees as Unit 01 followed Unit 00, carrying its own jerry-rigged burden, over the mountain.
The hike led the pair to the designated firing point, where Asuka directed Unit 01 to set down the rifle in its waiting cradle and Rei moved into position to await her possible involvement. "Positron rifle emplaced," Asuka announced as she instructed Unit 01 to position itself prone behind the weapon. Once properly positioned, she toggled the targeting visor to lower over her face from its stowed position sunken into the top of her seat, peering at the Angel perched above the city.
Prepare to get fucked, Angel. No one hurts Shinji—any of the pilots on my watch. She felt, for what she reckoned to be the first time, Unit 01 mirror her resolve.
"Beginning coupling now—connections secured," Maya answered. "Ma'am?"
"All right. It's almost go-time. Asuka, Rei, you ready?" Misato was gripping the back of Maya's chair with one hand and had her brows turned down in determination.
"Yes," Rei answered promptly.
"Let's do this!" Asuka declared triumphantly. The anticipation for the fight had built with every step of the trek up and then back partway down the other side of the mountain, and at least one of the pilots was beginning to feel the old excitement set in. It swept away thoughts of dolls, self-worth, living quarters, morose idiots, and other petty details, supplanting them with the comfortable sense of purpose and fulfilment that only piloting an Eva into combat could bring.
"That's what I like to hear." Misato matched Asuka's enthusiasm, a confident grin spreading on her face. "Begin charging on my mark. Asuka, you fire as soon as you can. Rei, standby. Release final safety systems! Begin diversionary bombardments!"
Asuka guided Unit 01 to pull the bolt of the rifle back and chamber a round while a chorus of technicians echoed the commands. A
thrum vibrated through the air as the banks of capacitors began to charge the rifle. Asuka tuned out the sound of the crew commenting on the status of the charging, focusing on the indicators inside the visor as they homed in on the Angel.
Just seconds away from squeezing the trigger, Asuka heard the not unexpected cry of "High energy readings detected from the target!" break through the final countdown before firing.
Told you so.
"Fire!" Misato ordered, just as the reticle in Asuka's vision lined up and the rifle finished charging. Unit 01 fired the rifle just as the Angel launched its own attack, and Asuka watched in grim fascination as the rifle's positron beam and the Angel's particle beam approached one another. Instead of meeting, however, the two beams warped around each other in a spiral and continued off course past each other. The positron beam impacted the Angel off target, eliciting a high-pitched, tonal scream that throbbed within Asuka's skull but failed to even mark the target, while the particle beam grazed over Unit 01's position and impacted the mountain behind it.
The shockwave from the impact rocked Asuka inside the entry plug, and even through her lower synch she could feel the muscles in Unit 01's arms strain against the force needed to hold the rifle steady.
"The enemy has broken into the Geofront!" Asuka hesitantly identified Hyuga as having broadcast the alert.
"Reload, hurry!" Misato loudly urged.
With the aftereffects of the blast dissipated, Asuka had Unit 01 cycle the bolt of the rifle to chamber a new round while technicians announced the recharging status and barrel temperatures.
That's a dirty trick. And a pretty strong blast, too. You took that straight to the chest? Unit 01 surged an affirmative sensation in response, but Asuka had little time to ponder on it. Another energy reading was building up within the Angel, and Asuka was now evaluating how long it would take to fire again.
No good. It'll fire way before I can. A seed of worry sprouted in Asuka's mind as she considered what her fellow pilot was likely about to do.
"Ayanami!" She yelled, putting her plan into words as quickly as she could think. "Our AT fields, together! We'll reinforce the shield while the rifle is charging!"
"Yes," Rei answered, calm despite the constrained chaos of the battle.
"It won't buy you much, but it'll have to do—the Angel is firing!" Doctor Akagi forcefully cautioned the pilots.
Asuka's vision whited out as the Angel fired directly toward her, her own weapon still charging. The blast was cut short, however, as Unit 00 interposed itself between Unit 01 and the Angel. Blinding light scattered over the sides of the shield the interloper was holding in front of itself, revealing the ephemeral orange octagonal pattern of Unit 00's AT field manifested around the shield, absorbing the heat and energy the shield struggled to hold back.
Asuka willed Unit 01 to raise its own AT field—not to erode, as she would when fighting against an Angel's, but to bolster. Even with the added support, she could see Unit 00 battling to keep the shield raised, smoke rising from its armor as their combined strength still failed to hold back the full assault of the Angel. Already she could hear over the comm channel that the shield was failing.
Even two AT fields won't be enough to stop that beam. Once the shield's gone, we're done. Come on, come on!
Finally, after what Asuka estimated to be approximately three eternities, with the Angel keeping up its attack the entire time, her targeting visor indicated the rifle was charged, and Misato called "Fire!"
Unit 01 once again squeezed the trigger, just as both Evas dropped their AT fields. The positron beam, this time having been aimed to account for the effect of the Angel's particle beam, shot straight and true to its target. It impacted dead center on the Angel, piercing through its AT field, through its reflective blue surface. The Angel's attack suddenly stopped, and it screamed anew, this time emitting a longer, keening wail that decrescendoed into a pitiful, though still earsplitting, mewl, followed by a shattering sound as the Angel sunk to the ground. A cheer erupted over the comm channel.
What Asuka was focused on, however, was Unit 00 collapsed over the melted remains of its ersatz shield. Its armor was smoking, even melting in some places. She angrily swiped the targeting visor over her head, causing it to fold back into its stowage position, and opened a video feed to Unit 00's entry plug.
"Ayanami!" She barked as the video link sluggishly connected.
"Soryu," Rei answered as her visage popped into Asuka's sight. Her posture was not her normal attentive position: her head and shoulders drooped, and she only loosely held her controls. "You are uninjured."
"What are you, stupid? Worry about yourself, First!" Asuka berated her.
Of course I'm uninjured, you were the human shield, not me!
"I am fatigued, though also uninjured," Rei reported to the irate pilot. "As I said, we followed our orders, and the mission was a success." Asuka growled but Rei continued before she could put her fury into words. "Your recommendation to support the makeshift Eva Anti-Heat and Light Wave Defensive Equipment with our combined AT fields was sound. I decided to follow it."
Asuka felt most of her anger evaporate in a rush, coupled with the feeling of Unit 01 expressing curiosity towards her—again. She ignored it.
Was that a peace offering? Am I making progress? "You're damn right it was a good idea!" Asuka boasted.
"Yeah, great job, you two!" Misato exclaimed. "Let's get you out of here. Don't worry about a debrief tonight, you girls just get yourselves sorted. You both deserve a break."
Ω
Asuka rose from a bench and shut her locker door, relishing the feeling of being freshly showered and wearing something besides a plugsuit for the first time in what felt like months—even if it was the beige NERV uniform she had taken to wearing around the Geofront the past few weeks. While she had found that the female top did little to flatter her figure, especially in comparison to the tight black dress or sleeveless blue blouse a select few of her coworkers wore, she had decided to stick with it.
She had, however, long since swapped out the skirt that was standard for the female uniform in favor of the male pants, having found the skirt lacking in utility even if it did give her the opportunity to flaunt what were, of course, her perfectly toned legs. She stretched her arms over her head and closed her eyes, willing the tension in her muscles to drain away. With limited success.
While she was taking this brief moment to herself, the First Child entered the locker room. Asuka opened one eye to a slit and watched her make her way to her own locker. The other girl's hair was still damp with LCL, and her body language did not betray a hint of the fatigue or pain Asuka was sure she was still feeling.
She's—tenacious, Asuka begrudgingly allowed, forgoing the criticism that came more naturally to her. She turned to face the other pilot's back with her full attention, dropping her arms and crossing them over her chest. Rei was meticulously removing her plugsuit, carefully stripping it away from her body, with no conceit to modesty.
I guess she's sort of pretty. In a weird way. Not as tall as me, though. What does she— Asuka forcibly halted that line of thought and elected to ignore what were certainly not feelings of jealousy and envy. Again, she was not as successful as she would have necessarily wanted to be.
Instead, she focused on her earlier failure.
You took your sweet time checking on the Third. You can't let that become a habit, Soryu. You need to focus on what matters, and stop getting distracted. She closed her eyes while taking a deep breath, held it for a moment, then released it slowly, opening her eyes once again—pointedly not comparing the First's rear anatomy to her own. "How are you feeling, Ayanami?"
Rei paused with her plugsuit fully removed and discarded in a heap on the ground beside her, one hand reaching into her locker for a towel. "I am well. A brief medical exam confirmed my lack of physical injury." She grabbed her towel and draped it around her neck but made no move towards the showers.
And that's all, First? Not even a—
"I am unsure what to do in situations like this. You helped to protect me, even though it was my responsibility to shield you. You have also demonstrated concern for my wellbeing in other ways. Previously, Ikari-kun has suggested that I express thanks when someone helps me. Is that acceptable now?"
Asuka blinked; her private tirade was headed off.
Weirder and weirder. Though maybe I'm getting used to you, Ayanami. "For once, the Idiot is right," Asuka said with a flippant wave of her hand, though the other girl did not see it.
Just what exactly have you two been talking about? The Third certainly isn't qualified to lecture anyone on this kind of stuff. I suppose I'll have to add Remedial Social Skills to Eva Academy's curriculum. One more thing Professor Soryu is the expert in.
The blue haired pilot turned to Asuka, who resisted the urge to cast a judgmental glance down her body and met her eyes instead. "Then I thank you for your concern, and for your help, Soryu. Would it also be appropriate to inquire after your own health in response?"
"You're welcome, I guess. And yes, that would be
appropriate," Asuka offered with a raised eyebrow and a mildly curious tone.
Rei nodded succinctly. "Are you also still doing well?"
Asuka
hmphed and turned her nose up imperiously. "I'm just great, First," she quipped, but almost immediately regretted it.
Stop falling into old habits! "I mean, yeah, I'm fine," she said quickly, returning her gaze to Rei and schooling her features.
Great, now you sound like a stupid, indecisive little girl. Just perfect, Soryu. You need to be better than this. "You were the one who took the heat, after all. Literally," she added.
"I am glad you are uninjured. It is important for the pilots to be able to fulfill their function."
Anger surged in Asuka's chest as Rei turned to walk toward the showers, but she once again closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady herself.
Baby steps with this one. You've started off with something good, don't ruin it now. Just move on. "Do you know where you're staying tonight?" She asked flatly, her simmering ire just perceptible in her voice.
Rei stopped but did not turn back. "Captain Katsuragi called to inform me that I am to return to her apartment tonight with Ikari-kun, and that we should not wait for her to make our way there."
"Good," Asuka replied, releasing the breath she had not realized she had been holding. What little tension she had managed to relieve earlier had already built back up. "I'm going to see the Third now."
"Well, that's good for you," Rei answered, entering the showers.
Asuka turned with a
huff and exited the locker room.
What the hell is that supposed to—just move on. Right.
Ω
Asuka pushed open the door leading into the Third Child's hospital room, her earlier hesitation at the entryway absent. They boy was standing with his back to the door and pulling a dark blue t-shirt over his head, his black pants already cinched around his waist. Asuka caught a glimpse of bandages wrapped around his torso before the shirt covered him.
The bottle blonde's influence, no doubt. She stepped over to the chair beside the boy's bed as he greeted her with a blush, a bashful smile, and a quiet "Hi, Asuka," after he had hurriedly threaded his head through the shirt and turned to recognize her. She lowered herself gracefully into the open seat next to the bed.
"Before you ask, everyone's fine—just like I told you we would be," Asuka announced by way of greeting. She watched as Shinji donned his customary white school uniform shirt, not noticing any peculiarities to his movement that would bely any pain
. "Unit 00 suffered some damage, which I'll probably be stuck working on, on top of the headaches the prototype already gives me, but Ayanami isn't hurt. I saw her in the locker room earlier, she's going with you back to Misato's tonight."
"That's great!" Shinji exclaimed while he finished buttoning his shirt. "Um, not that you'll have to fix Unit 00, but—"
"Yeah, I got it," Asuka blustered. "Now—"
"No, really," Shinji interjected. He stopped smoothing out his shirt with his hands and sat down on the bed he would not be occupying that night, then deliberately faced Asuka. "I'm glad everyone is ok. Thanks for telling me, Asuka. I know you didn't have to do that." His confidence apparently used up, he diverted his gaze to his hands folded in his lap.
Asuka's heart once again lurched in her chest, but she ignored it.
Interrupt me
, Third?! "I—"
"I hated being down here while everyone else was fighting. I felt so useless."
Asuka's brow furrowed.
Not this again. Come on, Idiot, we already talked about this! "That's—"
"But then I started thinking about what you said to me after the last Angel," Shinji pressed on. "Down at the pool?" He looked up to her again, and Asuka raised her eyebrow and nodded. "Well, then Kaji-san came by to give me my stuff. We, umm, talked. For a little while. I guess what I'm saying is I think I'm starting to figure out what piloting means for me." He offered a shaky smile to Asuka, who closed her eyes and sighed quietly to herself.
Good. Now just stick with it, Third. "That's good for you," she told him airily, despite her throat feeling tight, waving her hand noncommittally.
That's it?! That's all you can say?! You're worse than he is. No wonder Kaji pays more attention to him than to you.
Shinji's shoulders loosened and he let out a deep breath, his eyes returning to his lap. "Sorry to keep bothering you with my problems," he mumbled.
"Stop ap—" Asuka cut herself off, the sharp retort dying as quickly as it had manifested. "It's fine, Third," she said with a
huff as she stood from her seat.
Great. Scare him off, Soryu. That's perfect. "Ayanami will be down any minute. Are you done packing?"
He nodded, his gaze still downcast. They quickly snapped to the door, however, as it opened to reveal Rei: showered, dressed in her uniform, and carrying her school bag. She instantly locked eyes with Shinji.
"Are you ready to return to Captain Katsuragi's apartment, Ikari-kun?"
"Hi, Ayanami-san!" He said with some cheer. "Yeah, we can go now if you want." He stood up and grabbed his own bag from the floor beside the bed. "Kaji-san offered to drive us." His head turned to face Asuka, who was standing with her arms crossed watching the exchange, noting once again that Rei frowned slightly at the man's name.
Seriously, what's your deal with Kaji, First?
"Did you want to come with us, Asuka?" He asked her, his voice more subdued. "It's pretty late—erm, early—but I was going to make something to eat. We have enough for you, too."
Asuka frowned, ignoring how her chest once again felt like it was constricting. "I'm busy, Third," she informed him with a haughty tone, not a trace of longing in it. "There's still paperwork to take care of."
Shinji quickly looked down and turned back away from Asuka. "Ok," he said quietly.
As he walked towards Rei and the exit, bag in hand, the pale girl looked over to Asuka. "I will remain vigilant tonight, Soryu."
Asuka blinked owlishly.
Was—did she make a joke
? "Um, sure, Ayanami. Great."
Shinji stopped midstride, looking between both girls. "What does that mean, Ayanami-san?"
"Don't worry about it!" Asuka insisted, stomping over to Shinji and pushing him towards the door. Rei dutifully led the way into the hall, and Asuka slammed the door shut behind Shinji once he had walked off after her. She leaned against the door, put her head in her hands, and groaned. Out in the hall, she could hear the pair walking away while they made muffled conversation, then heard Shinji whine sharply "No, I
didn't! I swear!"
Ω
Asuka scrunched her eyes closed and stretched her arms towards the ceiling while she leaned back slightly in Misato's chair, inside her office.
Now I just need her to get here. She had spent the last few hours working on her renewed proposal to move the First Child to quarters in the Geofront. She had not bothered with any alternative sites, figuring that any time spent justifying them would be a waste. Clearly the Commander would have to see reason and approve her request this time.
She dropped her elbows down onto the desk and rested her head in her hands while she anxiously tapped her foot.
Hurry up, Misato. This was supposed to be done yesterday. Her stomach growled, and she
hmphed.
They get a good meal and beds, while I starve and wait for the drunk.
Finally, much to Asuka's relief, the office door opened, and the prodigal captain entered. She scanned the room quickly once she saw the light on, one hand slipping into her jacket, but she smiled and dropped the hand back down when she saw who was sitting at her desk.
"Asuka! What are you doing here? It's nearly six, you should be asleep."
She shifted herself to support her head with one hand, using the other to tap the stack of papers sitting in front of her. "My part's done," she said.
Misato shook her head, walking over to sit on her desk and face Asuka. She did not move to examine the papers. "Ayanami's transfer? That could've waited."
It's waited long enough, Misato. Am I the only one around here who has their priorities right? "I just stopped down here to pick up my keys. I'm heading home, and not coming in 'til late." She tapped her chin in thought. "Say, why don't you come with me? I'll bet Shinji made dinner. You can stay the night, too. I'll tell Rits you're taking the day off."
Yeah, I bet the Idiot will be really happy to have me around, interrupting— "I'm not hungry," Asuka told her as she stood up. "I'm going to bed. Remind the First and the Third that we've got training to catch up on today."
Misato sighed and watched Asuka walk towards the door. "If you're sure."
Of course I am. Asuka left, one last call from Misato following her out the door.
"It's ok to relax sometimes, Asuka."
She paid it no mind, already focusing on her schedule for the rest of the day.
. For now, anyway. The poor girl has been through kind of a lot recently and she's more keen on not acknowledging her unresolved issues than she is on confronting them.
