Δὶς ἐς τὸν αὐτὸν ποταμὸν οὐκ ἂν ἐμβαίης (You could not step into the same river twice) — Heraclitus
Plip.
The locker rooms set aside for the Eva pilots' use were hardly the most secluded spot someone could find inside the Geofront.
Plip.
They would be rather high up on a rather short list of the places one would expect to find an Eva pilot.
Plip.
They were near the Eva cages, which themselves were a highly trafficked area of the facility.
Plip.
In addition to being another obvious location if one were looking for a pilot.
Plip.
There were banks of elevators nearby the locker rooms, not the only ones on the base but still in constant use and much preferrable to stairs and escalators that stretched up and down for what felt like eons.
Plip.
Even the inside of the room was only separated between the male and female areas with a curtain, despite the separate entrances.
Plip.
But none of that mattered to Asuka.
Plip.
She tightened the knob of the shower, which finally stopped leaking fat droplets, one by one, onto the wet tiled floor like it had been since Asuka had exited the showers. She was fully clothed, having finished her shower hours ago.
She walked silently back to the bench she had been sitting on, in front of the locker she had long ago claimed as her own and sat back down. She tensed in the pregnant silence, her ears prepped for the next plip, like someone waiting for the next hiccup to jolt them after finally getting rid of them, but the only sound in the room was her own breathing and the whirring of a fan that was fighting a losing battle against the humid air. She relaxed and released the breath she had not meant to hold.
Twice, now, she had been in the entry plug of Unit 02 since her "return." Since learning the secret that still made her heart race in her chest with excitement. Since she had found her mother. Just twice, despite her attempts to persuade Misato of the necessity of daily tests. She had found an unlikely ally in Akagi, but the Operations Director had claimed sovereignty over the pilots, citing readiness and proper rest—as if everyone had not already had enough of that—and declared a reduced testing schedule.
So, it was only twice that Asuka had been able to be with her mother. No number would ever be enough. But twice was achingly insufficient. The second time, though, which had just ended a few short hours ago, hours that felt like days, had passed without a repeat of whatever it had been that had happened the first time. Just the warm, comforting feeling of her mother's love, which even Akagi's bitching about unpredictable pilots had not been able to poison.
Just the feeling of her mother's love. As if that would ever be not enough for Asuka. But the fact remained that she did not fully understand what had happened during the first activation. Everything had seemed so real, so natural. She had been in that hospital bed. Holding her daughter—holding herself.
She had never wanted children. Had always hated the idea of having children. But the way she had felt when she had looked at her—at herself—the memory of it still made her throat tight, her heart ache, her eyes hot and stingy, all at the sense of losing that feeling. Of never having it back. Is that how Momma feels without me? She hated the idea of her mother feeling that way. She would do anything to prevent that. Still, it was something she had not expected to experience to begin with.
There must have been feedback. I was too used to synching with the test type, I should have known Momma wouldn't need the tricks I had to use with Unit 01. Momma will always recognize me. The stuck-up test type had required too much effort to synchronize with, that had to have been the problem. Once she had snapped out of the—memory? flashback? dream? she still was not sure—everything had felt normal.
But it was so real. Synching with Unit 02, synching with her mother, must have—she shook her head.
"I just need more data, it's pointless to speculate after only two tests," she whispered. She would need to keep synching with the Eva. She smiled. That was all she needed to do. She would have her answers. They were in Unit 02, along with everything she needed. Once the stupid fish shows up, I can probably talk Misato into more tests. Everyone is getting complacent with how long it's been since the last attack.
The door to the locker room opened and Asuka stood in response. She ran her hands down her shirt and shorts to smooth them out and looked up as the First Child approached her usual locker, clad in her school uniform and carrying a school bag.
"Hurry up and get changed, I've been ready for ages," Asuka said loudly, not quite yelling at the other girl.
"If you changed the prearranged time, you never informed me." Ayanami was already removing her clothes as she spoke, her back to Asuka.
"Just hurry up," Asuka growled. If that was sass, I'll make you pay. "We're doing sprints today, so head to the track. Shinji already knows."
"Yes, he told me on the way here. I will meet you there." She was pulling on her shorts and Asuka very much wanted to swipe her legs out from under her.
Instead, she left the locker room.
I should add more sparring to the training plan.
Ω
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP BEEP-BEEP-BEEP BEEP-BEEP-BEEP BEEP-BEEP-BEEP BEEP-BE—
Asuka's arm shot out of her blanket cocoon to slap wildly in the direction of her alarm clock, finally connecting with it and ending the shrill sound. She snaked her arm back inside the nest and stretched out her back, extending as much as she could from her position on the bed.
No test today, she reassured herself, which was a disappointing prospect even if it did mean she could her eyes again. She was still a little tired, and without the promise of spending time with her mother she had no pressing reason to get out of bed. She rolled on to her side with a yawn, spinning within the wrap of blankets. And training doesn't start for hours.
Her stomach contracted, voicing its concern at her lack of movement. I could use some breakfast, though. She unwrapped herself like the gift to the world that she was and rose, straining her arms above her head as she stood and enjoying the sensation of her tendons and muscles stretching out as far as she could force them.
Once presentable enough to make an appearance outside of her bedroom, Asuka followed the smell of something emanating from the kitchen. She entered it to find the Third at the stove, wearing a collared, short-sleeved pink shirt, jeans, and an apron.
"Good morning, Asuka," he said over his shoulder, not turning his body away from the pot he was stirring.
"Mmgh," Asuka replied, one hand reaching up into her several sizes too large shirt to scratch at her ribs where her bra was digging into her skin. She walked through the kitchen and into the bathroom. Even hungry, there were still certain needs that came before food. No matter how good whatever the Third was cooking smelled. Whatever it was, Asuka could pick out enough familiar scents that she was not worried about fish for breakfast. Which was entirely too common.
A quick hygiene routine later—she was too hungry to take too long—Asuka re-entered the kitchen and dropped into her usual seat at the table. Which was bereft of food. Which she and her stomach agreed was a problem. But there was something else missing that she thought made for a better morning than it otherwise could have been. Her stomach did not have an opinion on the other missing element, though.
"Where's Misato?" Asuka had her elbow on the table, supporting her chin in her raised hand as she watched Shinji ladle soup into bowls.
"Still asleep," he answered. "She's been staying out late, I think." He turned around to place the bowls on the table one at a time, going back and forth smoothly without spilling any of the contents.
"Probably out drinking," Asuka said dismissively. She still thought soup was a dumb thing to have for breakfast, but at least he was bringing over some boiled eggs, carefully arranging them in each bowl of soup, and slicing them in half. She keeps me away from Momma, but she sneaks out to get drunk! "She has no self-control."
Shinji, back at the counter, set the empty dish formerly containing eggs down heavily. "Don't say that." He said softly. He moved to gather up the dishes left over from cooking and began transferring them to the sink, not feeling the glare Asuka was directing at his back.
She was about to drop her glare and turn her attention to the bowl he had placed in front of her when he spoke again.
"Ayanami is coming over later."
Asuka's grip on her spoon tightened, the soup caught in the concave surface spilling out of it and back into the bowl. She tilted her chin down, her hair hanging like curtains down her shoulders and her fringe forming a partially see-through barrier that hid her eyes as she watched the Third.
"And? Who cares?" Asuka asked, her voice tight—she had meant it to be light. Why can't you go play with your Doll in her dollhouse?
"Since I'm making most of our meals now, it's easier if she just comes over here to eat," he explained, as if anyone had asked him. He removed his apron and hung it on a hook by the refrigerator. "That way I don't have to cook twice or make more dishes dirty by packing food to bring to her."
"Whatever," Asuka said flatly. "I put you in charge of the food, do what you want."
Shinji sat at the table, his eyes flicking over to Asuka occasionally as he fiddled with his bowl of soup and Asuka poked at the soft, runny yoke that was oozing from its bisection. They sat in terse silence, with Shinji bouncing his eyes around the room at everything besides Asuka, and Asuka herself getting more frustrated the longer he continued to not eat. What are you doing at the table if you aren't going to eat?! She was about to voice her irritation when the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it!" Shinji said quickly as he sprung up and hurried out of the room.
"You meant right now?" Asuka yelled as she realized who had to be at the door.
The only answer she received was the sound of Shinji welcoming Ayanami into the apartment. She debated abandoning what was left of her breakfast, but as the First followed the Third into the kitchen Asuka knew she could not cede control of the battlefield.
"First," Asuka said tediously, not looking up to the other girl. Her first strike.
"Second," Ayanami answered, neatly parrying the blow.
Asuka tensed the muscles of her calves and released them, over and again, wishing she could settle the uneasy feeling in her gut with action. She dunked her spoon back into her soup and ignored the other pilots as they sat down and began eating, none of them speaking. She tilted her head to get a better view of Ayanami out of her peripheral vision. You haven't been to school in more than a week, wear something besides that uniform!
"I have been meaning to ask you something, Second."
Asuka was interrupted from her critique of the way Ayanami daintily ate soup by the unexpected challenge. "What?" She asked as indifferently as she could. She shifted her head to glance down at one hand, fingers splayed out, inspecting her fingernails. She quickly curled the fingers back up and pulled the hand back under the table when she found a broken nail.
"You have been living here for several days now. Have you been careful?"
What the fuck is she talking about, this is why I can't—
"Ayanami! You know I don't do that!"
Asuka's eyes jumped over from the First's pale, unreadable face to Shinji's crimson one twisted up in embarrassment, his shoulders hunched up and his back sliding down his chair like he wanted to disappear. Asuka narrowed her eyes as she looked back to the First, whose lips were just curling up into a smile. Barely, but Asuka could see it. Huh?
"How many times do I have to tell you?" Shinji whined.
"What are you talking about?!" Asuka demanded.
Rei shifted her focus to Asuka and raised her eyebrows in what could have been—Asuka was not sure what that facial expression meant on the First, just that it was weird as hell seeing it from the normally blank girl.
"You have not caught Ikari-kun trying to sneak a peek at you during the night? While you are vulnerable and unaware?"
Shinji ducked further down, almost all the way under the table, just barely still in his seat. Asuka's face reddened and her eyes widened.
"What?! No!!" Perverts! Both of you! I'd kill him!
"Then perhaps you are not as careful as you think," Ayanami said, and she smirked at Asuka.
Shinji looked ready to die, and Asuka kept looking between them, utterly confused, utterly embarrassed. Which just made her utterly angry.
"If he—"
"I am only joking," Ayanami said, and her smirk softened into a gentle, contented smile.
Something in Asuka's worldview shattered, leaving her even more confused. When did she start making jokes? "I—" and then she remembered. "That was my joke!" Asuka accused.
"Yes," Rei answered, and she looked over to Shinji who was sitting more upright in his chair, though he was still hunched over and hiding his face, sullenly eating his breakfast and doing his best to ignore the girls. What Asuka could see of the skin of his face and neck was still a deep red. "It is much funnier when Ikari-kun is around to react to it."
"She accuses me of spying on her all the time! Even at school!" Shinji grumbled into his bowl of soup. "This vacation had been a nice break, but now you're doing it again," he continued to grump.
"You turn a very interesting color when I do. Your friends also think it is funny that you become so flustered by the accusation."
Asuka had lost control of the encounter and was now simply shifting her focus from one to the other as they spoke. She barely had enough presence of mind to snap her jaw shut, which had fallen open at some point.
"Some friends they are."
"Suzuhara-kun has asked me to refrain from making that joke when Horaki-san is near. I believe he fears that she does not approve of that sense of humor."
"Then why do you keep embarrassing me?"
"Because he is wrong. I asked Horaki-san, and she did think it was funny. Also, Aida-kun asked me to continue. I believe he finds Suzuhara-kun's attempts to condemn 'peeping' to be inappropriate behavior for a man to be just as entertaining as—"
"Kensuke's the one who—" Shinji cut himself off as quickly as he had cut off Rei. "It doesn't matter anyway, everyone knows you just say that stuff to mess with me," he said with a defeated sigh.
Everyone knew Ayanami was making jokes? Asuka did not know what was less likely: the First stealing her joke, the prudish Class Representative with the hopeless crush on the class jock actually allowing dirty jokes in her classroom, or that everyone but her had apparently heard the First's—her—joke so many times that they considered it routine! Asuka frowned and butted into the back and forth she had stopped following.
"Get another joke, First!" She said frostily.
"Thanks, Asuka," Shinji sounded as relieved as he did when she would call an end to a particularly intense workout.
Rei looked to Asuka, who could read little from the way the corner of Ayanami's mouth twisted up a fraction of a degree.
"Very well," the First answered. "The premise of the joke was preposterous anyway. Ikari-kun has a key to my apartment, he does not need to sneak to peek."
"Ayanami!"
As if he isn't ogling you every chance he gets. Asuka's brows drew down sharply as she looked over to the Third. He may be acting differently than he's supposed to, but he's still a pervert. Asuka had caught too many poorly hidden glances directed her way to believe that had changed.
Accidentally glancing down her shirt when she was adjusting the loose neckline, conspicuously looking away right when she turned her head in his direction to yell at him for something, always just behind her on every run she led them on, watching her form when she demonstrated some new routine. He's a boy, after all.
Not that she approved—but she was worldly enough to understand that was just the way things were. She would still kill him if she ever had to deal with more than the disgusting, muffled sounds of him having those fantasies. It had been a gross, semi-regular occurrence "before," but despite her anger over hearing it through the thin walls she had, at the time, derived some perverse satisfaction in knowing she was responsible for his lack of self-control. That she had that power over the Invincible Shinji. At least until she had realized he never even looked at her, could not possibly ever think about the Second Child that way, the overbearing, self-centered, two-faced, heartless, stuck-up bitch. Not when his Doll—
Asuka shoved a spoonful of soup into her mouth, not caring that it was cold. All that matters is making sure everything goes right this time. Things are different now. I have Momma. And she had not heard the Third being active at night this time around, not yet anyway, even with Misato still insisting on wearing inappropriate clothing around the apartment.
"Thank you for breakfast, Ikari-kun."
Asuka looked up from the remains of the food she had been staring at rather than eating to see the First standing from her seat.
"You're welcome, Ayanami," Shinji answered. He was also standing, and looking his normal skin tone, collecting the dirty dishes off the table. "Are you finished, Asuka?"
She pushed her bowl toward him without answering and stood as well.
"I'm going to take a shower," she said evenly. She felt indescribably vile, and the thought of staying in the same room as the two of them filled her with—with disgust. It had to be disgust that was bunching up in her throat and tightening around her heart as the First and Third stood next to each other at the sink, one washing dishes while the other dried them. Passing plates, bowls, and cutlery effortlessly between their hands, fingertips brushing ever so slightly in a way that had to be deliberate, it had to be, given how smoothly they moved around each other as they worked, like they had become one, knew the other's body so well it required no thought to shift his weight just like this to subtly brush her hip with his, signaling her to twist her waist and accept a dish from him without even having to look.
Asuka unclenched her fists and swallowed the desire to yell something, anything, to disrupt them. Instead, she turned towards the bathroom and stomped her way into it.
"Be sure to remain vigilant!" She heard over the sound of the sink running, over the sound of her feet pounding, over the sound of her blood boiling.
"Get better jokes, First!!" She yelled as she slammed the door to the bathroom closed. It jolted in its track and slid back halfway open. She grabbed the handle and slammed it again, adding her weight to follow through with the motion and keep the door closed.
She leaned back, away from the door, to stand upright. Silently fuming, and her mind racing. It's not even funny! As if the First had any right to mock her.
She turned on the shower once the sound of the sink running had stopped shshshshshsshshing from the kitchen. Who cares if those two are all over each other.
She did not care, at all, about the specifics of the relationship between the Third and his Doll. They could spend as much time together as they liked, do whatever pervert things they wanted to do, the First could tell whatever bad jokes she wanted. None of it mattered as long as they performed the way she needed them to in combat.
She slammed her bottle of shampoo back onto the surface she had grabbed it from. Not that Momma and I need them anyway! She scrubbed at her scalp, working the cleaner into her hair and massaging away thoughts of the Third sneaking—not that he apparently needed to—around the First's apartment, watching her in the shower, indulging in base male instincts at the sight of the Doll's exposed porcelain skin, the slight swells of her breasts, her exotic blue hair.
Eventually she was finally clean, of more than just the disgusting thoughts of those two doing that. And her face was only red from the heat of the shower, rather than disgust or anger, not jealousy because she never wanted anyone to look at her or touch or think about her or even perceive her the way the Third did his Doll. She stepped out of the shower and began drying herself off.
It was while she was wrapping her hair in a towel that she realized she had forgotten to bring any clothes to change into. Which was obviously the Third's fault, because his little show with the First had been so disgusting that she had needed to get away from it as fast as possible. She debated, while she continued her post-shower routine, just throwing the oversized t-shirt and comfortable shorts back on that she had worn to breakfast. Since there was no clean laundry nearby to pick through, either, which was also the Third's fault.
Her regimen completed, she looked at the crumpled pile of comfortable clothes on the ground, then to her reflection in the mirror. Her hair piled up in a towel on top of her head, another towel swathed around her slim figure secured back on itself at the top of her right breast. Tightly hugging her modest curves and ending not very far down her thighs. She turned back from scrutinizing her profile, ignoring how she looked like such a child, because she knew she was an adult.
Frowning, she tugged her towel down slightly, exposing a hint of the way the tightly wrapped material squeezed her breasts together. Disgusted, with what she did not examine, she turned to leave the bathroom, passing through the laundry area and flinging the door open on its track. Half expecting to find the Third lurking behind it.
Instead, he was nowhere in sight. Asuka scowled and scoffed to herself and started the long, humiliating walk back to her bedroom.
Just to find the Idiot lounging in the living room, listening to music and laying on the floor. He had one forearm draped over his forehead while his other hand was resting on his stomach. He sat up quickly as Asuka entered the room, and his eyes jumped even more quickly to her own as she watched his skin flush red from his neck up to the top of his head. See, that still hasn't changed.
"Thanks for trying to help me with Ayanami," Shinji said to the wall off to the side of Asuka, which he had turned his head slightly to face once the exposed skin below her neck had apparently become too tempting to keep in just his peripheral vision. "Umm, the teasing—the jokes, I mean."
Asuka moved slightly to the side to place herself back in his full view, disguising the move as leaning back to rest against the wall beside her. Smug satisfaction filled her when she saw Shinji's gaze slide up and down her body, lingering at predictable spots, then flick away as he blushed even harder. Heh. Can't help yourself, Third?
"Sure, whatever," Asuka answered him with a flippant wave of one hand. "I mean, I guess it was kind of funny—but she shouldn't be bad mouthing pilots anyway!" Asuka quickly added the last thought with a rushed shout. It's not like I care about him!
Shinji frowned and looked back to Asuka's face, making sure to keep his head very level, with no risk of sudden movements.
"But you always call me a pervert! And an idiot!"
"That's because you're a pervert, Idiot," Asuka scolded him. She reached up to adjust the towel around her, pulling it up slightly to cover more of her chest. "I can tell when you're ogling me, you know!"
"I—" Shinji shouted but cut himself off and looked away. "Now you're teasing me, Asuka," he sulked. "I'm not trying to look!"
"No?" Asuka asked lightly. "How boring." She pushed herself off the wall and used the momentum of her weight moving forward to step off in the direction of her room. Moving quickly, and glad that the Idiot still had his face turned away from her and was unable to see how red her face, neck, and upper chest were turning. What the hell was that?! I knew moving here was a stupid idea, I'm starting to sound like the Drunk!
Asuka slipped her bedroom door closed and collapsed on top of her bed, needing a moment to compose herself before she started the rest of her post-shower routine.
Ω
"Are you ready to begin?"
"Yes, Doctor," Asuka answered absently. She had her head bowed and eyes closed, already working to relax as much as she could, trying to clear her mind.
"Good. Remember, this isn't some contest. We don't care what your synch rate is, we're just looking for data. So, try to minimize the number of variables on your end. Don't do anything weird."
"Yes, Doctor," Asuka ground out, clenching her fists tightly around the controls in her seat. The head of Project E was not the only reason Asuka was finding it hard to relax. Ignoring her insulting attitude was something she was used to doing, as fighting back carried with it the threat of reduced access to Unit 02. But Asuka had her own, private concerns that made clearing her mind difficult to accomplish.
Her first synch with Unit 02, her first contact with her mother since she had died—and it was still surreal to think that she had died, as being alive made her constantly confront the fact that she was no longer dead—had been shocking. One moment she had been in the entry plug, the next she was not, and before she had realized what was going on she had already been back.
The next synch test had been uneventful, if only by comparison. Akagi had bemoaned the fickle nature of pilots and Evangelions, and Asuka had basked in the warmth of her mother's presence from within the orange glow of the entry plug for hours. But that had been all.
She had not asked her mother if she also remembered. She was not scared to—that would be ridiculous. She just did not even know if it was possible. Unit 02 had never answered her with words, despite being Asuka's closest confidante all her life. And that had been before she had discovered that it had been her mother she had been telling about her day, complaining about her training, or just saying anything that came to mind during the unending synch tests of her routine in Germany.
It had taken months, even years, of training to raise her synch level to a point where she began to actually feel Unit 02, feel how the consciousness inside would react to her emotional state. And it had taken just weeks, maybe only days, she might never work out how long she had spent being useless after her failure against the Fourteenth Angel, and her humiliation against the Fifteenth, for her to lose that contact with the mind inside Unit 02. And then to lose even what she had mastered as a child—the ability to synch at all.
"Asuka?"
"What?" She snapped out. "You're interrupting me, Misato!"
"Just checking to see if everything is ok. We're waiting on you."
"I'm fine, there are just too many distractions!"
"All right, all right. I'll leave you to it."
Focus. She had that contact again. Even better, she knew what it actually meant. Momma loves me, who cares if she doesn't remember all this happening before. She remembers me. She always did.
Warmth and recognition flooded through Asuka, and she could not tell if the relief she felt at the connection was her own. She did not care. Momma, I'm home. I love you.
"Good job, Asuka, you're well past the activation threshold." Misato congratulated her faux cheerily from over Asuka's radio. The pilot suppressed a grimace at the interruption, the reminder that the world outside of Unit 02's entry plug, out of her mother's arms, existed. "Just sit tight so Rits can get her data, ok?"
"Sure, whatever," Asuka answered. The longer she stayed in the plug, the better. She was exactly where she wanted to be and was in no hurry to leave.
She would need the time to work out exactly how to ask her mother about the past. Or would she? Jumping straight in had always served Asuka well, after all. There was no sense in playing coy.
Momma, she began, directing her thoughts towards the loving presence that all but had her cradled in her arms, do you remember, she trailed off. How exactly does one word that kind of question? Shaking her head, and ignoring the knot forming in her stomach, she pressed on. Do you remember before?
Ice flooded Asuka's veins, and she felt herself squeezed, as if pressed tightly into someone's body.
"Try to keep your mind clear, we're getting some unstable readings."
"I'm trying," she ground out, "but it would be easier if you stopped distracting me!"
Images flooded through her mind. A red-haired girl, just a child, so small, she was so precious, she had her eyes and she was holding her arms up, her face was twisted with demand in the way only a toddler's could be and she was commanding her to lift her up. The same girl, older now, but somehow so much smaller, standing on a grated walkway and angrily shouting, calling her a doll and demanding her compliance. A man standing next to her, smiling at the infant in her arms. A purple giant with a demon's face, collapsed in a heap on top of her, she was angry, and so was her girl, but the anger was tempered by relief, and even happiness.
"Focus, Asuka. Your readings are all over the place."
"I'm fine—" she gasped. "Just, trying something new—" it was hard to bullshit Misato while she was being shown so much, it was almost too much to parse. There was a blinding light, piercing down through the dark storm clouds and it hurt, but even worse it hurt her too, it hurt her so badly that she blocked all contact, and she lost her, she could no longer feel her, where did she go—
"Asuka!"
"I'm—" Momma! She recognized that pain, she could understand now. "I'm ok, it's ok," she said haltingly. It was not her pain, her emotions she was feeling. It was Unit 02's, her mother's. She had been dealing with that her entire life. She could control it. Separate what was her from what was not. Momma, I'm here, I didn't leave you! It would just take some innovative methods to do it.
"We're stopping the test." Akagi, of course. Asuka grimaced.
"No! It's stable now, I have it under control." You do remember, Momma. I'm sorry I abandoned you back then. I didn't mean to, I didn't know how to reach you anymore!
"Look, Rits, she's fine now. Isn't this just more data for you?
The pain she had felt, when Asuka had closed herself off after her failures against the Angels, was the same pain from the first synch test.
"You're seriously pushing the definition of fine, Misato. Don't let your personal feelings—"
"My pilot said she can continue the test, Doctor."
When she had seen—had been—her mother in a hospital bed, holding herself and desperate to prevent anyone from taking her away.
"It'll be on your head if anything goes wrong, Captain. Continue the test, it's not my psyche at risk."
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Momma. Asuka could feel tears forming and leaking out of her tightly shit eyes, instantly dissolving in the LCL of the entry plug. She could not possibly care. I promise, I'll never leave you like that again, I didn't mean to, I— she almost bit her tongue on what she had nearly said.
But it was too important to lie about. Her mother was too important to lie to, even if the lie was to herself. I was scared. It hurt so much, I couldn't stand to remember—warmth returned to the entry plug, and Asuka felt all the muscles in her body relax. Her chin rested against her sternum.
You remember, then? You remember everything? I'm not alone here? She received no words in answer, which was expected no matter how much she had hoped she would. Instead, she felt the horribly familiar sensation of her eye bursting open, and her hand flew up to her face as she choked on a gasp, the feeling of blood and viscera leaking through her fingers again—and it was gone as suddenly as it had arrived. Just a phantom, her eye was fine.
The pain was nothing compared to what her mother must have gone through when Asuka had abandoned her because she was too scared to pilot anymore. Too scared to admit her failure, to admit she needed anyone, even Unit 02. She had always needed Unit 02, her mother. She always would. She would not make the same mistake.
I have so much to tell you, I've been so busy here, Momma. I have a plan! Understanding, at least that was what she thought the feeling was, met her from the other side of the synch. And curiosity, as well.
I'll tell you everything! Asuka settled into her seat. She had plenty of time. It may not have been perfect, but she had a way to talk to her mother. Her mother who was also in this insane time travelling scenario. She was not alone. I should have started with this during the first test! She chided herself. Ok, Momma, let me start with the other pilots. You remember Shinji—
Asuka blushed at the image of the Third wearing one of her red plugsuits, his hands on top of her own, his body practically draped over her in her seat as they yelled in unison with determined looks on their faces.
Right, him. Asuka shifted in her seat. Idiot Shinji. They had worked together quite well for having just met one another that day. Maybe the First did not have something so special after all.
"Raise the plug depth—" Asuka's wrist twitched to lower the volume of her communications system as low as it would go. Turning it off would be too noticeable and would invite the ire of the pests occupying the bridge. But they were accustomed to Asuka ignoring them. They could still override her settings, but it would likely take hours for them to notice that she could not hear them talking to her.
Hours that she could use to explain her work to her mother.
Ω
The cabinet door rattled after Asuka smacked it closed with an exasperated growl. She moved to the fridge and began picking through it, knowing full well it held nothing she was looking for. It was, after all, the third time in the last five minutes that she had opened it to peruse. Empty handed, again, she closed the fridge.
"Where are my snacks?!" She yelled out.
"Wark!" She heard in answer. She looked to the source of the sound to see Pen Pen standing morosely in front of the fridge that had, until recently, been set aside strictly for beer. It was now full of pre portioned meals prepared in advance. No matter how many times a day certain denizens of the apartment checked it.
"Get over it," Asuka told him dismissively. "Beer is bad for you anyway."
Pen Pen huffed indignantly in response. If she thought about, not that she wanted to, Asuka would not have imagined that penguins could huff, let alone indignantly, but she had more important things to worry about than the weird bird who was retreating back to his personal haven with working cooling. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, then turned her glare to the cupboards that still did not contain her snacks. Which they were definitely supposed to.
The First had not been in the apartment to eat for the past two days, doing whatever it was that Akagi did with her in the bowels of the Geofront. It was not fair that the First got to spend as much time as she wanted there, so close to her Eva, when Asuka was so rarely allowed to see her Unit 02. But Asuka contented herself with the knowledge that the blue haired girl would never have the bond with the prototype that Asuka did with her mother.
She was getting distracted. It was easy to do when the subject of her Unit 02 came up.
The First being busy meant that not only had she missed out on the most recent training, but she also had not had an opportunity to steal Asuka's snacks. So, her lack of snacks was probably not the First's fault. Not that Asuka would rule her out entirely.
The other occupants of Misato's apartment, save perhaps the bird who had just fled, all knew full well whose junk food stocked the larders. Which meant one of them had done something with her snacks, and it had been intentional.
Asuka stomped her foot. "Hey!" She yelled, making sure to face the living room as she did so. "Where did you put my snacks?!" It was bad enough that the Angel was overdue, bad enough that Akagi and Misato had only let her in the entry plug for a few hours over the past few days. Days when she had not been allowed to see her mother, despite how tantalizingly close she was. If she had to put up with a lack of food, too, someone would have to pay.
Someone who seemed to be ignoring her. Incensed at the failure for an answer to her perfectly reasonable question to manifest from the living room, she stomped out of the kitchen. The Third Child was seated at the low table in front of the dark television, facing away from her and reading a magazine. His thin t-shirt clung in dark spots onto the skin of his back, still damp from the shower he had been exiting when Asuka had begun her search for snacks. He had one leg tucked in and cocked up, using the elevated knee as a stand to steady his magazine.
"Hey!" Asuka grumbled.
She flared her nostrils in agitation as he continued to ignore her, though she did notice, now, the cords of his headphones dangling out of his ears. The observation, the excuse did not improve her mood, however.
Asuka stalked up behind him, her years of training providing her with the necessary agility and grace to remain undetected. She leaned down and reached up with both hands to tug the headphones from his ears.
"Hey!" He shouted as he turned around sharply, his nose almost brushing Asuka's. She smirked at the annoyance written plain on his face. "What was that for?!"
Asuka straightened to her full height as she dropped the headphones. She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at the boy.
"Where are my snacks?"
"They're in the cupboard next to the fridge," Shinji answered testily. He began to turn back to his magazine, one hand grasping for one hanging earbud.
"Liar!" Asuka snapped. She had checked the damn cupboard! There was nothing in there! "You ate them, didn't you?!"
"No!" Shinji snapped back, stopping mid-turn to turn back and scowl at Asuka, matching the one she wore. "I just put them there yesterday! If they're gone, someone else ate them."
Asuka almost paused to rethink who should be held accountable for her dire hunger. "Not even the Drunk could have eaten that many chips in one day!" Almost paused to rethink.
Shinji winced. "Don't call Misato-san that, she hasn't had any—"
"Stop changing the subject! Where! Are! My! Snacks!" How stupid could he be? They had just run ten kilometers. He knew she liked to have a snack after training. She was hungry, and she could not eat excuses and stories.
"I threw away the chips!" Shinji answered harshly.
Asuka felt her face heat up in rage. "You what?"
"They're not good for us," he answered more reservedly. Whatever song, too quiet to hear, that had been playing had skipped over to the next track, the new song providing a cheery background as the teens glared at each other. Well, one glared, while the other met her glare with a stalwart, unapologetic, stony look that she interpreted as What are you going to do about it? Even his voice had a finality to it, as if he expected the matter to have been settled already. "So, I replaced them with—"
"With garbage!" Asuka accused, on the attack. "Nobody eats dried sweet potatoes, or roasted seaweed, or dehydrated squid!"
"I do," Misato said from the direction of her bedroom.
The angry pilot quickly spun in place to face the woman who was leaning against the frame of her bedroom door. Still in the cropped tank top and shorts that she had worn to bed, despite the midafternoon sun heating the apartment that the air conditioner was in a losing battle against. Even her hair looked like she had just woken up, in disarray with some parts sticking up at bizarre angles and others pressed flat. There were creases embedded in the skin of her face from laying on a rumpled pillow.
"Ugh!" Asuka lacked the words to express her distaste for the Japanese palate. "You people are so gross!"
"You approved the meal plan," Shinji said accusingly. Asuka spun back to face him. Her jaw was dropped in outrage—which had the added benefit of making it easier to increase the volume of her displeasure.
"So, it's my fault you got rid of my food and replaced it with inedible trash?" Asuka screeched.
"You put me in charge of the meals!" Shinji was standing, facing Asuka fully, the magazine and music player forgotten on the table behind him.
"It's too early for this much shouting," Misato said from beside the ongoing battle, sounding more annoyed than tired. Neither teen acknowledged her.
"That doesn't mean you can just do whatever you want with my stuff!"
"How am I supposed to make sure we all eat properly if I let anyone make whatever changes they want to the meals I planned? Of course I got rid of your junk food! What else was I supposed to do?!"
Asuka planted her fists on her hips. She was beginning to expect these outbursts from Shinji. To the extent that they were even feeling familiar, and, she could start to admit, perhaps even fun sometimes. Like a good sparring match, or a satisfying bout against an Angel in the simulators. But she still needed to put him in his place. "I—"
"He's got you there, Asuka," Misato cut her off.
"You stay out of this!" Asuka hissed to the woman. You're always getting in the middle of things!
Misato sighed airily in response. "Shin-chan, I was getting dressed but I can't find any clean bras. Did you wash any of mine recently?"
Shinji instantly deflated, turned bright red, and stuttered out a response that probably meant something like "Yes, Misato-san."
Asuka scowled—not that he could have seen her displeasure, with his gaze locked on his feet—despising how quickly his confidence melted away. Disgust seeped into the excitement and anger she had been feeling. Coward!
"Are they dry yet? Could you grab one for me, pretty please?"
Shinji scrambled out of the room, rushing past Asuka whose furious gaze was laser focused on his pathetic, domesticated, obsequious form as he left. Asuka nearly jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder once he was out of sight.
"You're disgusting," Asuka seethed quietly.
Misato's hand dropped off her shoulder. "Don't be a prude, it's just laundry."
"You're just encouraging his male behaviors!" Asuka despised the thought of the Third giving in to his fantasies, hated how Misato seemed to enjoy fueling them.
"He does your laundry too. Or did you think I wouldn't notice?"
"I don't ask him to pick out my bras for me!" Asuka snapped, still not turning to face the woman.
"You're reading too much into it. Besides, he's not the type to go around stealing panties or anything. At least none of mine have gone missing, anyway."
Asuka nearly gagged at her words, at the idea they represented, at what the woman seemed to be implying, but she could not come up with a suitably disdainful reply before Shinji reappeared. He bashfully walked into the living room with the asked for article of clothing, holding it gingerly, with just his fingertips, and almost tiptoed around Asuka to offer it to Misato from as far away as his arms would let him. He was somehow even more red in the face and neck than he had been before leaving the room. Asuka stewed in a silent, confusing mix of emotions as she watched the exchange.
"Thanks, Shin-chan!" Misato said cheerfully. She leaned forward—Asuka noted with disgust that her tank top was loose enough to hang down and offer an unobstructed view that would just be more fuel for his fantasies, even if they were old and saggy—and accepted the plain white bra from Shinji, who had refused to look up at all from the floor since he had walked in carrying the bra. He seemed to be begging the floor to open up and swallow him whole, with how firmly he kept his gaze locked downward.
"It's a bit boring, though," Misato continued thoughtfully. "Don't you think I'd look better in something else?"
"Misato!" Both pilots blustered in unison, both blushing, both horrified.
"Just kidding!" Misato laughed delicately at the display. "I know you'd rather be picking out underwear for Asuka to model for you!"
"No!" Shinji yelped, jumping back slightly in fear. While Asuka simultaneously shrieked "Eeeeehhhh?" and stepped forward as if to physically block the idea from taking root inside the Third Child's head. The two teens collided and fell into a pile of embarrassed, angry commotion while Misato snickered.
"I'm glad you two have taken so well to living together," she said over the sound of teenage arguing that was disentangling itself on her floor. "I knew this would be a good idea!"
Asuka bit back the urge to scream at her, mostly because Shinji's face was now centimeters from her own, close enough to feel the heat of his blush radiating off his skin, close enough for the breath from his nose to tickle her face as he exhaled, close enough to smell his soap, his shampoo, even his toothpaste, and the thought of breathing in air in such close proximity to him, air that he had already breathed, or that he was having a similar experience to her, made her feel something. Something she did not want to examine. Something akin to anger, she told herself. What do you mean, no?! Why wouldn't you want to see me like that?!
What the hell was she thinking?
"Well, I'm going to get changed, don't have too much fun out here!" Misato called as they were just managing to right themselves and getting to their separate feet. Her laugh as she danced lightly into her room was cut short by three alerts going off on three phones scattered throughout the apartment.
"Finally!" Asuka crowed as she sprinted for the door. It's here! Momma, let's do it!
Ω
Asuka sat in a darkened room and bounced her heel up and down. She was in the front row of seats that stretched out in tiers to the back of the room behind her. Next to her, and looking anxious and considerably less excited, was the Third Child. Next to him, on the other side from Asuka, was the First. All three of them were in plugsuits.
The room lit up as a large screen at the front, encompassing most of the wall, was illuminated by a projector. It showed an aerial view of Tokyo-III and its surrounding areas, with various defensive emplacements, umbilical plug-in stations, Eva launch chutes, and other key points—all memorized by the pilots, Asuka had made sure of that—marked and designated. The beat of Asuka's heel against the ground increased in tempo when a digital overlay blipped into place on the map, showing a fat orange dot approaching the city from the direction of the sea. Out of the sea. Over the land.
That's not—it's a fish! It's cheating! Fish were not supposed to move over land under their own power. Not very well, anyway. But the speed with which that orange blob was approaching the Geofront, an orange blob now labeled 6th Angel and, in smaller text underneath the numerical designation, Gaghiel, strongly implied it did not care how well Asuka thought fish were supposed to move out of the water.
It was still far enough away that they would need transports to reach it, and likely even external battery packs by Asuka's estimation, if they wanted to launch and engage it now. She was weighing the merits of letting it approach the city, closer to where she could remain plugged into power, when light spilled into the room from the back, casting the shadows of the three pilots, and the seats of the first few rows, at an angle across the screen. Until the light disappeared with the whoosh of a closing door and swift footsteps worked their way toward the front of the room.
Asuka twisted in her seat and craned her neck to see Misato and Akagi walking toward the screen. Misato had her red jacket closed and the collar popped up, hiding what Asuka knew to be the tank top she had been wearing when the alert had sounded. There was no hiding the frayed denim shorts she had not had the time to change out of, making her look even more unprofessional than Asuka normally found her in the outfits she chose to wear while strutting around HQ.
Her expression was serious, however, and even Asuka could admit, just a little bit, that the way she carried herself left little doubt to who, between her and the doctor walking slightly behind her, was in charge.
"The Angel is approaching the city," Misato began as soon as she had reached the front. She stood to one side of the projected map while Akagi walked across the screen, her shadow trailing on it behind her, to approach a podium on the other side. "It's estimated to arrive in—Rits?"
"Fifty-six minutes at its current pace." Akagi continued for her. The screen flickered and changed to show a live satellite view of the Angel, and Asuka felt her excitement grow as she smiled at the sight. "We haven't detected any obvious weapons, but we can't discount anything at this time."
The Angel was large—not so big as the Fifth Angel, perhaps, and certainly much smaller than Asuka remembered the Tenth Angel being, but it was long and still massive in its own right. Seeing it move through the air, undulating and weaving, side to side and up and down as if it were still swimming through the ocean, gave the pilot a sense of the size of the huge fish that she had never noticed during their first encounter. I was preoccupied at the time, the Third was in the plug. She had been focused on tuning out his interference, both physically and through the synch. And I didn't have any underwater equipment!
"It appears to be propelling itself using its AT field," Akagi continued. The camera zoomed in on the Angel and Asuka scrutinized its appearance. She had not had the opportunity to get a good look at it before, and the creature swimming through the air looked like a stingray with stubby wings, a long, thick tail, and elongated jaws like a crocodilian's that Asuka knew to be filled with sharp teeth as long as an Eva's arm.
The presentation continued and Asuka tore her attention away from the live feed of the Angel, tightly gripping the armrests of her seat to prevent her hands from reaching up to apply pressure onto the puncture wounds that had never been in her abdomen, just Unit 02's, courtesy of the monster on screen's previous incarnation.
"—to engage. They still haven't learned their weapons are almost useless against an Angel, but they'll at least keep it distracted," Misato said.
Asuka had finally unclenched her jaw, the wave of pain subsiding.
"Units 00, 01, and 02—" Misato cast a quick sideways glare to Akagi at the mention of Asuka's beloved Eva, and the doctor threw her hands up as if to signal her forced acquiescence "—will take up defensive positions outside the city to intercept the Angel."
Misato continued, turning to face the screen and gesturing to it. "Rei, Shinji, you two will be here—" here being two pulsating dots on the outskirts of the city, near an umbilical hookup station "—to engage once it's in range of your weapon systems. Asuka, you'll be here—" a throbbing dot behind and to the side of the other two, much closer to the city "—providing support. Do not en—"
"I'm in front!" Asuka declared, sitting up straighter in her seat.
"That's not—"
"I've got the highest synch rate! I should be the first one into the fight!"
Misato frowned and crossed her arms as she turned to face Asuka fully.
"Shinji and Rei have more practice fighting as a team. They—"
"I'm a better pilot than both of them combined!" Asuka seethed. They only have more practice together because you ruined my training program!
"This isn't about anyone's pride, Asuka. We need—"
"I can swap with Asuka," Shinji said loudly over Misato, who looked to him in surprise. "If you don't mind," he added more sheepishly.
Asuka rounded on him angrily.
"Who said I wanted to swap with you?!"
"Shinji, this isn't really up for debate. Coordination—"
"Would you prefer to switch places with me?" Rei asked quietly, still managing to make herself heard over Misato who was looking perplexed at the way her pilots were ignoring her. Rei was leaning forward to look past Shinji and toward Asuka.
"I— " Asuka started, angry and fully intending to tell the girl off. Until she considered what was being offered, rather than who was doing the offering. That's not terrible, I guess. But why would she want someone else to be next to her Ikari-kun? "Fine," Asuka said instead. "I'd rather fight alone, but I can work with Idiot Shinji if I have to." Momma and I could kill this by ourselves, but we put up with him before. We can do it again.
"Fine," Misato said exasperatedly, throwing her hands up just like Akagi had earlier. "Any other suggestions? Last minute changes to my plans? No? Good. Shinji, Asuka, you two will meet the Angel first, so—" Asuka stopped paying attention as Captain Katsuragi droned on. She knew how to kill this Angel. It would be simple.
After the briefing was over, the three pilots were dismissed and stood to leave.
"Second Child, hold back a minute," the Operations Director said. Asuka glared at her but paused, letting the other two pilots walk past her. "Rits, I'll meet you on the bridge, ok?"
Akagi rolled her eyes at Misato but walked off to follow the First and Third Children out of the room. Leaving the two housemates alone.
"I'm trusting you on this one," Captain Katsuragi said gravely. Asuka met her stern face with a cocky smirk.
"I'm the best. This Angel doesn't stand a chance!"
Misato narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth as if to speak but shut it quickly while expelling air forcefully from her nose in a fffhh.
"I wanted you to help me direct the engagement from the ground." She said as she crossed her arms. "If you want to be in charge of the pilots, you can't always be right in the middle of the fight."
Asuka put her hands on her hips and turned her chin up in defiance.
"Just watch me!" She yelled to the older woman. Momma and I can do anything!
Misato briefly looked like she wanted to press her case further but looked down with a frown instead. When she looked back up, barely a second later, she was smiling shakily. "All right. I know you will anyway, but make me proud, ok?"
Asuka grinned her cocky grin again and spun around to begin sprinting for the exit. Now she's finally getting it! She would show that old woman what she could do, and no one would ever doubt her status as the best ever again.
She caught up with the other two pilots as they were just entering the steel grated cage of the elevator that led directly to the Eva cages. Coming to a skidding stop, grabbing onto the edge of the door as it was halfway closed to help arrest her momentum, Asuka pivoted to land lightly on her feet next to Ayanami, facing the doors as they restarted their closing cycle after her hand had interrupted it.
The elevator groaning was the only sound between the three of them on their descent. Until Asuka could not take it anymore.
"You two better not make me look bad!"
"I promise I won't," Shinji said seriously from the other side of Ayanami.
"So do I," the First child added from next to Asuka.
"Hmph," Asuka muttered. Something ate at Asuka's stomach—not anxiousness, she knew that. She was excited, of course. That was easy to identify and went without saying. And even if she could feel the Third's nervous energy emanating off him, there was nothing for Asuka to be nervous about. She discreetly watched Ayanami from the corner of her eye.
She's been laying off the jokes since then. As far as Asuka could tell, anyway. Which meant she had not flirted with the Third before, during, or after any of the meals they all shared together. There was no telling what she got up to away from Asuka's watchful eye, but the Third had not complained to Asuka of more embarrassing moments between him and the First. Not that they had many opportunities, given they had been away from school as long as Asuka had been away from work. If he'd even complain. Asuka wrinkled her nose. I guess he might. She was still catching his fleeting glances her way, even when she was wearing more modest clothing, after all.
With mounting dread, Asuka realized what the feeling in her gut was. She owed the First something. She didn't have to switch with me. Asuka was fully capable of making Misato see reason and changing the plan to put her first in the battle. But the First had not only volunteered her own spot, she had willingly given up a chance to move with the Third the way Asuka had seen them move around each other that day when they were doing dishes together, the way Asuka knew they still were even if she was finishing her meals and leaving the kitchen before the two of them had the chance to disgust her like that again.
But the First always had that same stupid, soft smile on her face when she would leave the apartment after their little soirée—not that Asuka would watch them from the living room, poking her head just barely past the edge of the entryway into the kitchen, that would be beneath her. Which meant Ayanami liked spending time with the Idiot like that. Which meant the First was probably doing, from her own perspective, a favor for Asuka. That would have to be rectified. Asuka could not let her accounts go unbalanced.
The elevator finally came to a stop and the doors opened. Asuka was about to start walking out of the cage, into the cages, when she faltered. "Thanks for swapping with me First," she muttered, then sprinted towards Unit 02. There. That's a start. I'll get the rest for her later. She left the other pilots behind and was clambering up the gantry to Unit 02's entry plug faster than she had ever made it across the cages from the elevator.
Once settled, and her embarrassment at least partially faded, she went through her pre-activation routines and began to clear her mind. "I'm home, Momma," she whispered as she tucked her chin down into her chest and closed her eyes, waiting for her signal from the bridge.
When it arrived, after her plug had flooded with LCL, Asuka took in a deep lungful and relaxed into the warm embrace of her mother. Once again, she was met with only the feeling of support, of comfort, of love that she had come to expect. Still no repeat of the odd experience from her first synch.
Do you remember the fish, Momma? It's a little different this time, but we're going to kill it again. She received no clear answer, had not been expecting one, but she felt her eagerness for the fight matched, even amplified. Someone said something over her radio, and Asuka replied automatically, her eyes still closed and her focus still on the feeling of being reassuringly embraced, albeit metaphorically, by her mother as all three Evangelions launched.
The three pilots moved through the city with practiced ease, and Asuka relished the feeling of actually moving. Unit 01 had never felt right to her. Sprinting as she was now, she would have only been able to discern her speed, or that she was moving at all, from within the garishly purple giant by seeing the buildings and other scenery whiz by her on the display screen of the entry plug.
But as her Unit 02, she could feel her legs and arms pumping, could feel the shock of her weight slamming into the ground with each huge, leaping stride, and felt the difference between the concrete of the city and the dirt now underfoot as they crumpled differently under the extreme force. Even her field of view felt more natural, like she was seeing out of the four eyes of Unit 02 rather than looking at a feed on a screen. The feeling used to give her nausea when she was younger and her brain had bucked at the idea that she had two extra eyes, but now it felt like she was removing a blindfold she had been forced to wear for months.
The unimaginable strength of the Eva's muscles felt natural, felt right, on her frame, and when she reached the point Misato had designated for her Asuka took one last running jump to land with a rumbling flourish, crouching down to absorb some of the force and standing smoothly. She turned her head and smirked at Unit 01 as Shinji skidded into a halt beside her, several seconds behind.
"You're too slow, Third," she teased.
"I'm plugged in already," he answered testily.
"There's plenty of time for that!" Asuka bristled as she scrambled to turn and grab an umbilical cable from the station behind. Her battery countdown timer flickered off as she plugged in.
"Arm yourselves, Rei is already in position and the Angel will arrive soon." Misato, of course, and Asuka rolled her eyes.
"Can you at least send us some interesting weapons this time?"
Unit 01 opened the armoury cage that had just shot up from the ground, grabbing two pallet rifles and holding one out to Asuka. She took it in her red armoured hands and pouted her lips.
"This far from the Geofront you're only getting what's prepositioned. Make it count, but you can fall back closer to the city if you need to."
Asuka sighed dramatically, but she did not really care. It still felt too good, too natural, too correct, to be piloting Unit 02 into combat.
"I'll take this Angel apart with my bare hands if I have to!" She proclaimed as Unit 01 inspected an Eva sized pistol.
"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," Misato said dryly. "Focus, Asuka. The Angel is closing in."
The pilot rolled her eyes but turned to face the direction of the incoming threat. Unit 01 was already kneeling and holding its rifle at the ready, using a copse of trees to partially conceal itself, so Asuka moved to put some space between them. There was a hill directly between her and where her map told her the Angel was approaching, so she ran towards the bottom of it and aimed her rifle up, waiting for the opponent to crest and expose itself.
Her mind was starting to wander, and her leg muscles cramp, by the time Unit 01 opened fire, accompanied by voices yelling distracting variations of "There it is!" She braced the rifle against her shoulder, the stock barely perceptible against her armour, and waited for more of the Angel's bulk to move over the top of the hill.
Short bursts of fire kept sounding from Shinji's direction as the Angel's shadow covered more and more of the ground beneath Asuka, and the massive white body over her head finally began to narrow into a tail signalling the majority had made it over the hill. "Yes!" Now's our chance, Momma! Let's show them how it's done!
She opened fire, the rounds stopping short of the Angel as it continued to slither through the air toward the city. Growling at the ineffective weapon—not that she had expected it to do anything, anyway—she squeezed the trigger again to keep up a continuous rate of fire.
"Asuka you need to—"
She stopped paying attention to the bridge as she extended her AT field and felt it make contact, brushing against the Angel's. The Angel, which was now moving down. Directly down, she was noting, as she struggled against its AT field. The fish was huge and, despite not seeming to utilize one during their previous battle, the strength of its AT field seemed to equal its bulk.
A bulk that was now rapidly descending toward Asuka's head. With a snarl, she chucked her useless rifle at the fish and rolled away from what would soon be an impact zone. She came to her feet just as the Angel crashed into the earth, its jaws angled up and swiping at her while the bottom surface of its body forced itself through the dirt. An action that would have been an elegant skimming over the topmost layer of soil, if it were not so massive that swimming through a new medium, which offered more resistance than the air, led to the fish digging a huge trough through the dirt, sending soil, trees, and previously buried rocks and boulders flying like seawater spraying across the hull of a ship.
Asuka flicked her eyes around quickly to get her bearings and saw that the Angel now separated her from Unit 01. We'll flank it, Momma. She sprinted away from the Angel, hoping to keep it between her and the Third, who was still firing at the beast. But the Angel, rather than changing targets, or freezing in indecision, or immediately dropping dead, or anything else remotely useful, twisted to soar after Asuka, rising back up above the ground as it pursued her.
"Keep it off me, Third, I have a plan!" She ejected her umbilical and curved the path of her sprint.
"What do you think I've been trying to do?!" She heard him yell in response.
"Well, you're not doing a good job!"
She kept glancing behind her as she ran, changing directions frequently and making sure not to stay in a straight line. The Angel would quickly close the gap between them if she gave it the opportunity, but its massive body needed space to turn. And it seemed to be fixated on her, at least for now. That's fine, we know where its weak spot is. Unit 02 surged confidence back to her through the synch as she made a sharp turn, bringing herself fully around to face the Angel and its huge, gaping jaws. Intending to leap into them and attack its core directly.
The Angel closed in on her, its core a bright, cherry red at the back of its throat, its mouth spread wide and ringed with massive teeth, and Asuka readied her legs for a jump.
Until Unit 01 slammed into the Angel from the side, impacting its AT field and throwing the monster off track and careening back into the dirt.
"Damn it, Third!" Asuka yelled. "What do you think you're doing?!"
Unit 01 was sent flying in the opposite direction from the force of slamming into the AT field. Asuka growled and leapt after the Angel again, trying to overpower its AT field with her own while it thrashed and twisted, moving in a sweeping arc to bring itself back around and begin its assault anew.
She could feel how close to failing its AT field was, though. It was strong, but so was she. And it needed to split its strength between defending from multiple enemies and moving itself through the environment. That's what you get for cheating!
"I'm going in!"
"Wait!" Shinji shouted.
"No time!" She ran toward the Angel as it was still trying to orient itself to face her directly. With a running leap, she landed on its back—well, on top of its AT field over its back—and began pounding on the field with her fists while she poured as much of her strength into her own AT field as she could, trying to break through the Angel's.
The fish began to violently buck and thrash about while it resumed its course into the city. Asuka struggled to maintain her balance and spread out on her belly, still having no place to grab onto and secure herself with its AT field up.
Her foray into Angel riding ended quickly when one momentous sideways swipe of the Angel's tail proved too much force for her to compensate for. Momentum sent her soaring through the air in a heap of limbs, and she crashed into the ground, rolling and marring the earth with deep gouges until she came to a stop. Dazed, she made a few aborted, wobbling attempts to rise.
Only for someone to grip her by the shoulder and pull her to her feet.
"First?" She said fuzzily as her head cleared and things began to stop spinning. They coalesced into a blue monocular Eva standing beside her. The Angel had thrown her all the way to Ayanami's position?
"Can you return to the fight?"
"Of course!" Asuka snapped, immediately straightening to stand tall. She even felt Unit 02 react with indignance with her.
"Good. Ikari-kun needs our help." Unit 00 began sprinting in the direction Asuka had flown from.
"Help her to bring down the AT field, Asuka!" Misato ordered over the radio.
"What do you think I've been doing?!" Asuka was going to begin moving back into the melee—the Angel, it turned out, had not thrown her as far as she thought, it had simply moved closer to the city with Unit 02 as a passenger for longer than she had estimated—when the weapons cache Ayanami had abandoned gave her pause.
Closer to the city, huh? She smirked at the buffet in front of her. Anything look interesting, Momma? She quickly settled on two enormous recoilless rifles, each one loaded with a magazine containing several rockets, and finally turned back to the fight.
As she approached, she saw the Angel had diverted from its track into the city to give chase to Unit 01, who was barely managing to stay ahead of it as he zigzagged through the open terrain. Just as when it had chased after Asuka, the Angel was attempting to follow directly in the Eva's path, never able to take advantage of its greater speed while tightly manoeuvring its massive body.
He's figured out we're more agile, good, but how's he going to kill it like that?
Her question was answered when Unit 00 opened fire on the Angel from behind it, quickly cycling the bolt of the giant rifle it was holding to fire again, and again, and again, as the Angel turned to face the source of the new threat. Oh, it's stupid!
Seeing her opportunity, Asuka brought both of her weapons to bear and fired into the Angel while it was distracted by Unit 00. The rockets collided into the orange octagons that meant they had still failed to erode its defences, but now the Angel was twisting again, away from Unit 00 and towards Unit 02. It just wants to eat the biggest threat to its AT field! The other two pilots took advantage of Asuka becoming the new target to move in closer to the Angel as it careened toward her.
"Come and get me!" Asuka screamed as she fired more rockets into the open maw of the Angel. Bait for the fish!
"Asuka!" Someone was yelling, multiple someones, but there was too much noise to accurately determine who. She could see Units 00 and 01 running alongside the Angel, Unit 01 firing a pistol into its side while Unit 00 leapt onto the Angel's back just as Asuka had earlier.
But then the jaws were around her. Around her AT field, to be precise. The Angel's had finally broken, and it was crashing into the dirt, still swimming forward, still with Asuka in its mouth, but she was mostly unharmed and, with her upper body inside the Angel's mouth, she had the fish right where she wanted it.
She could feel her legs being dragged through the dirt, could hear all sorts of panicked yelling over the radio, she could feel her mother urging her on, and, most importantly, she could see the Angel's core right in front of her. But it was just out of reach.
Of her arms, anyway. With a savage smile that bared her teeth, she flicked open the covers of her shoulder pylons to reveal the spike launchers within and fired all of them directly at the core.
"No fair!" She snarled as the spikes failed to do more than scuff the surface of the core. I need to get my hands on it!
The Angel began tossing its jaws side to side, sending Asuka flailing while still trapped in its grip. She could feel that her lower body was in the air, the Angel seemingly having raised its head to shake its prey to death. Struggling overcome momentum, Asuka finally placed one hand on the upper jaw and one on the lower and pushed as hard as she could. The Angel kept thrashing, and Asuka could feel her arms trembling with exertion.
She growled and panted as she struggled. Momma, I need you! And then she was no longer struggling. Fresh, overwhelming strength poured into her muscles and the jaws easily separated. She lifted a leg and placed a foot between two teeth and added the strength of her lower body to the equation, but it was hardly necessary. She had the Angel's jaws wrenched open and was holding them wide apart easily.
From her new vantage point, she saw, to her surprise, Unit 01 also standing in the Angel's jaws, holding them open with her.
"Shinji?"
"I see the core! Ayanami, in its throat, now!" He yelled, and then a blue blur was flying into the gaping maw. Unit 00 slammed into the core and stabbed at it with a knife, piercing it immediately.
"The Angel—" Ayanami was cut off by the world exploding.
Asuka came to in a darkened entry plug, panicking at first at the lost connection to her mother. But then she remembered ejecting her umbilical near the start of the battle, what felt, simultaneously, like a lifetime and just seconds ago, and surely had to have been more than five minutes.
"We did it, Momma," she whispered. She was sore all over, had the beginning of an absolutely terrible headache, and she was still hungry. She was working out how much of all that was the Third's fault as she flipped over to emergency power.
The screens revealed her predicament. She was face down in the dirt, apparently blown away by the Angel's explosive death. But otherwise, they were unharmed.
"Third?" She asked as she toggled her radio on. "Misato? First?"
"Asuka!" Misato answered immediately. "Are you injured?"
"No. Is Unit 02 ok?" Worry crept into her voice. There was only so much a brief diagnostic on low power could tell her.
"All the Evas are fine. Mostly," Misato said. "And so are the pilots, we've already recovered Shinji and Rei. The Angel is dead, we've got a team heading for you now so just stay put."
Asuka sighed, smiled, leaned back, and closed her eyes. She hardly even cared that they had left her for last, as they always did. Her mother was ok.
"Once you get cleared by the medics and get back to the Geofront, go straight to my office so I can debrief you."
Asuka turned off her radio without answering.
Things had not gone to plan. The Angel had proven to be tougher, if not more destructive, than she had thought it would be. And the fight had ended with her being tossed like a wet rag and faceplanting in the dirt—which had been the second time it had happened to her during the fight. The First had even been the one to get the kill!
But the Angel was dead.
"One more down," Asuka sighed into the dark entry plug, longing for the missing warmth she had become so reliant on. We did it, Momma. If only she could celebrate with her properly.
Ω
"And were you trying to get eaten?"
LCL was still dripping from Asuka's hair, had been for the entire time she had been standing in Misato's office receiving a lecture.
"Rei and Shinji at least can work together, but when half their efforts are focused on making sure you don't get killed trying to pull off some reckless stunt, it hardly matters!"
"Yeah, they can work together!" Asuka snarled in response. "Work together to get nothing done!"
Misato stood from her chair and leaned over her desk, pressing her hands flat on the paper strewn surface.
"They were keeping it moving between them so it didn't reach the city while they were working to erode its AT field. Which you would know if you bothered to pay attention to your surroundings!"
"They were never going to reach the core that way!" Asuka snapped in response. "At least I was doing something that had a chance of working!"
"If you knew where the core was, you should have told us!"
Misato sighed and collapsed backwards into her seat.
"This is why I wanted you in the back," the woman muttered in a tired voice.
"Then no one would have known how to kill it!"
"I guess it's my fault," Misato continued despite Asuka's yell, through the glare the younger girl was directing at her. "I figured all those hours helping me run the simulator training meant you knew what I expected from you. But I was preoccupied making sure Rits accepted my little compromise about Unit 02, which you three ruined anyway."
"What are you talking about?" Asuka would hardly call sitting out of what had apparently been quality time between the First and the Third "helping Misato run the simulator training." And what the fuck did she mean about a compromise over Unit 02?
"I'm talking about you needing to take your job more seriously."
Asuka's eyes widened and her jaw trembled with how fiercely she clenched it. She was not six years old anymore! She did not need to be lectured to about taking her job seriously! Especially not from Misato!
"I'm the best pilot!" Asuka eventually exploded, her rage no longer able to be contained, concerns about any sort of compromise that had to be discovered completely forgotten. Who cares if the First got one kill?!? I let her have that one! She owed—had owed, the debt was paid—the First a favor and letting her kill the Angel was more than generous compensation. "I take my job more seriously than anyone else around here!"
"You've been calling yourself Lead Pilot for a few months now. Are you serious about that?"
"Of course I am!"
"Then you need to actually lead your pilots."
"That's what I'm doing!" Asuka growled. When you aren't undermining me!
"Is that what you call it when you jump straight into an Angel's mouth?"
"That's where the core was!"
"No one else knew that at the time."
"Well, I was leading from the front!" Asuka declared imperiously.
"We have these useful things called radios. Have you ever considered using one?"
"Shinji followed my lead!" He had been right beside her when she was holding the Angel's jaws open. Even the First had not been far behind. Asuka really was good at leading her pilots.
"Shinji had to break off from some impressive teamwork with Rei because we thought you were about to be chewed in half, or worse. Not that I needed to give an order, he was on the Angel as soon as he heard you daring it to eat you."
Asuka had her mouth open to retort—she was not sure with what, exactly, but she knew the words would spring forth as she needed them—but Misato sighed again and shook her head.
"Look. Just, work with me, ok? I realize I probably could have made my expectations for you more clear, so I promise to do that if you promise to meet me halfway. Deal?"
Asuka narrowed her eyes at the woman, then huffed and turned her head away and up slightly. "Whatever. Deal."
"Good," Misato said with relief. "I'm glad that's out of the way, because I wanted to do this."
Asuka heard the sound of a chair scraping against the floor, but by the time she had turned her head back around to look all she saw was a red and purple blur rushing at her from around the desk.
"Misa—" Asuka began but was cut off with a wumph as the other woman completely enveloped her in a tight hug. Asuka protested, but with her face pressed into Misato's chest her words came out as little more than surprised, angry grunts. Which were about as effective at dissuading Misato as Asuka's attempts to wrench her limbs free from the steel vise of her roommate's arms.
"You had me worried," Misato said quietly. "I'm glad you're ok."
She finally let go of Asuka, who immediately jumped back to put some distance between them. If she ever does that again, I'll—she is not my Momma! Asuka had a mother, and Misato would never compare to her.
"What else do you want?" Asuka bit out, eyeing Misato warily. "I need to shower, and I want to go home and eat."
Misato looked down at her red jacket, darkened in splotches where LCL from contact with Asuka had soiled it. She blanched.
"That was all. Just—" Misato huffed out a breath. "I may have thought you could do better in some ways, but—" she stopped again, and Asuka narrowed her eyes at her.
"I'm glad to have the Second Child piloting Unit 02," Misato said formally. "You were impressive, if nothing else. Just don't jump into any more Angel's mouths."
Asuka was not sure how to deal with Misato acting like that. The rest of them don't have cores in their mouths, I guess.
"I won't if I don't have to," Asuka eventually said flatly. That seemed like a good compromise.
"I'll take it. Go get cleaned up, and make sure the others get home. I'll be staying late—before you ask, yes, our vacation is officially over, so if you want to come in to work with me tomorrow you can. Shinji and Rei will have the rest of the week off school, but they'll be back to a normal schedule starting next week."
Asuka smiled.
"Finally!" She yelled, raising one hand up to her chin and clenching her fist in victory. LCL had spattered off her arm with the speed of her movement, leaving a trail of droplets across Misato's wall.
"Go on, Asuka," Misato said with a frown as she wrinkled her nose at the mess. "I have to clean this place myself, you know."
Asuka spun around, still elated at finally being free to get back to the work she had been forced to set aside. She opened the door and dashed into the hallway.
Directly into the Third Child, the pair bouncing off each other and falling onto the ground. The sound of Misato snickering was cut off by her door closing.
"Asuka, I'm glad you're ok!" Shinji groaned as he stood, rubbing his head and dusting off his pants. Contact with Asuka's plugsuit and left wet spots on his pants, and orange splotches on his white uniform shirt.
"I was until you ran into me," grumbled Asuka as she caught herself, barely, from falling again as her foot slid over a small puddle of LCL, likely left from when she had first made her journey to Misato's office.
"You should probably learn to watch where you're going. And be more careful in general."
"What did you say?" Asuka shrieked, but Shinji held his ground and challenged her furious visage with cold determination.
"You almost got eaten." His voice was quiet but firm, which did nothing to calm Asuka.
"I had everything totally under control!" I don't need another lecture, especially not from you!
"That's not what it looked like!"
"That's because you're stupid! Idiot!"
"I—" Shinji snapped his jaw shut with a clack. "I did what you taught me to do. What Misato-san taught me to do. Nobody taught me to jump straight into an Angel's open mouth!"
Asuka's brows drew down in anger and she was ready to snap out another retort. But she held back. He did ok, I guess. He had been right beside her opening the Angel's jaws, after all. And he had pretty quickly figured out how to distract the Angel, and had set up a decent back and forth system with Ayanami to keep it occupied while Asuka made herself the bait. Even Ayanami had been quick to secure the kill, once the Idiot had called out the location of the core for everyone else.
"Look, Third, you can't expect me to play by the same book as you and the First, ok? I'm the best, and I know what I'm doing."
Shinji did not look convinced.
"Just trust me, ok?" This is humiliating, begging for something from the Idiot.
Shinji sighed deeply.
"I trust you," he finally said softly. "I was just worried."
"Don't be," Asuka said around the lump that had inexplicably formed in her throat. "You did pretty well yourself, too," she said, before she knew she had.
Shinji blushed and looked away from her, but he was smiling broadly.
"Thanks," he said. "I just did what you and Misato-san taught me. It was scary, but I knew what I had to do."
Asuka was growing more unsure the more the conversation moved away from an argument. Fights were easy. Whatever this was—the fluttering in her stomach when his dark blue eyes gazed up to meet hers, the absurd curiosity about how the flushed skin of his face would feel against her fingers, against her cheek, the way her throat felt almost too tight to speak when he had been concerned enough to be angry at her. The Idiot, worried about her! It was all too confusing, and completely irrelevant. She did not want the Third to hug her the way Misato had. That would be disgusting.
"Keep it up, Shinji," she said. I have to make sure he keeps piloting. That's all. I can't have him running away. "I'll make a pilot out of you yet."
He cocked his head at her and shot her a confused look.
"But I am a pilot."
"Yeah, but you could be better!" Asuka reached out and grabbed him by the wrist and began dragging him down the hall. With absolutely no idea why she had decided to do so. "Come on, I'm going to shower and change. Wait for me outside the locker rooms." Misato had told her to make sure he got home. That was why she needed to take him with her.
"Oh—ok," he said shakily, taking hopping steps to keep up with Asuka, who was not quite jogging.
"I'm still hungry, and you owe me snacks!" She yelled at him over her shoulder. "So when we get home you need to fix the problem you caused!"
"Asuka," Shinji whined.
She squeezed his wrist tighter in response, causing him to wince. With a smirk, Asuka turned her head back around and nearly jumped backwards in surprise to see the First Child waiting for them at the elevators.
"Second," she said, and she was smiling at Asuka when she did.
Come to gloat? I'll— Asuka clenched her jaw as she took the last few steps between them, Shinji's wrist still gripped tightly. I'll just let her have it, this time.
"Ayanami," Asuka said curtly, without looking at her.
"I am glad to see you uninjured. Ikari-kun was concerned for your well-being."
"What, and you weren't?" Asuka rounded on the other girl, Shinji jerking off-balance with an "Ah!" as she unexpectedly twisted around.
One light blue eyebrow quirked up at Asuka.
"Would you have wanted me to be?"
Asuka blinked and jerked her head back in surprise, or anger, or something, she was not sure what. Until she heard the Third stifling a chortle. Then she was sure she was angry.
"And what's so funny, Third?!" She yelled, yanking on his wrist to drag him more directly in front of her, the better to stare him down.
"Ah—ow!" He yelped, one hand raising to grab at the hand that Asuka had around his wrist. "Asuka, let go, that hurts."
At the contact of his fingers on her plugsuited ones—warm, gentle and sure as he attempted to work her grip loose, she could feel callouses he was developing even through the material of the plugsuit but she did not mind, a man's hands should be that way—she dropped his wrist and snatched her hand back as if she had been shocked.
"Keep your hands to yourself, pervert!" She yelped at him.
"That's what I was trying to do," he muttered as he gently massaged his wrist.
Asuka crossed her arms over her chest.
"Stop trying to distract me from the fact that you threw away my snacks!"
"You're still mad about that?"
"Of course I am!"
An elevator dinged and doors opened behind the arguing pair of pilots, and one silent one beside them. All three of them got in the car together.
"I'll get you something to eat when we get home." He sounded resigned to his fate.
"I already told you to do that, the snack situation is an entirely separate matter!"
"Asuka, can we settle this later? I promise to get you food when we get home, but I'm tired."
She eyed the boy up and down, frowning as she scrutinized his pleading eyes and face.
"Hmph." She turned to face the closed door of the elevator, and Ayanami who was standing directly in front of them. That odd feeling from before, almost like anxiousness or unease, started seeping into her chest again. "Make sure there's enough for Ayanami too," she said haughtily, feeling nowhere near as sure of herself as she sounded.
"Mmm," Shinji grunted affirmatively, and she could hear the easy smile on his face without having to look. It was becoming a more common sight in recent days.
The elevator turned silent after his assent. Irritation grew in Asuka as she eyed the blue back of the other girl's head.
"I was also worried about you. I think it is natural for us to be concerned about each other."
The elevator dinged again, and the doors opened on the floor for the locker room. Ayanami walked out, leaving Asuka and Shinji to look at each other in the wake of her statement. Shinji smiled at her and gestured with one hand for Asuka to go before him.
Asuka looked down at her feet and walked out. There was too much going on for how tired and hungry she was. She needed a shower.
And just what had Misato meant about a compromise?
