Krazyfan1
Worrying for the future.
- Location
- Australia
Needs More Monsters [Dungeon Core]
- Thread starter Flintlock
- Start date
- Original
yeah, the whole bad swords are bad thing is kinda over rated, seriously he should just make spears, they're easy to produce and more effective anyway.
on another note, i really hope he ends up killing his minion's master, cause his minion isn't only his minion now. yeah that came out kinda dumb but i do mean that he's taking this whole "here's a minion whose contracted to someone else, also your that person's slave now." situation with a rather cavalier attitude.
on another note, i really hope he ends up killing his minion's master, cause his minion isn't only his minion now. yeah that came out kinda dumb but i do mean that he's taking this whole "here's a minion whose contracted to someone else, also your that person's slave now." situation with a rather cavalier attitude.
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chocolote12
A Penguin Flailing Against The Keyboard Of Life.
This is true. It is much harder to mess up a standard pointy stick. Now, an above standard pointy stick is different, but he doesn't need any of those just yet.
it depends, can he make a straight stick with a simple metal point or blade on the top? cause if so that is already a better spear than most in existence right there. he doesn't even really need to make a sharp blade, just a consistent hunk of the same type of metal on the tip and then let whatever minion or adventurer who get's it sand it down the hard way, the great things about spears and most pole-arms is that there isn't a mandatory length (different people like different lengths and styles are the same in that length will vary a lot) he isn't making a bill-hook, a halberd or a particularly styled glaive so complexity is ignorable.
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
Got through this, and would rather appreciate more if it was in the offing. This is good!
Anyway, you have my attention with this. I look forward to reading more of your stuff!
I'd be delighted! Here's what I have so far.
Incomplete sentence.
First sentence is incomplete, last one has an extra space after it.
My impression of the last chapter was that corpses are a one-off power source, whereas this treats the graveyard as a continuous feed. I was confused for a while.
I think something might have happened to the punctuation here? It sounds fine in my head, but i't presented oddly on the page.
Dead people? Pay-to-win resources? I'm curious about this.
Incomplete sentence.
"comman" is missing a 'd'.
"adjustments" is in there twice.
For the superscript style of footnotes, numbering them is traditional. Otherwise, some variant of asterisks is the standard.
Also, on indefinite-page-length mediums, footnotes typically go directly below the paragraph they're linked to.
"Interfact" should be "interface".
Anyway, you have my attention with this. I look forward to reading more of your stuff!
- Location
- Italy
this sentence is incomplete
there is a bit missing
interface
Just found the story, it seems pretty interesting. I hope the dungeon will manage to give the imp a class...
Will be honest, I haven't looked at this in some time, and while I've been messing around with some writing, I haven't had much inspiration for this. Still, the assistance is more than appreciated and I'll get around to fixing up these errors.
EDIT:
Fix'd
First sentence is deliberately incomplete; it's intended to trail off as the MC corrects himself with the implication of 'okay, it's not all I want, but...'. Extra space is corrected.
It's an aquifer in that, unlike a vein of ore, if you tunnel into an aquifer from below, it'll all pour out and flood wherever you're digging from as opposed to a vein of ore which, in theory, should remain in place.
Yeah, far as I can recall, it was a joke about P2W currencies.
Fix'd
Fix'd
Fix'd
I believe this was a concession to the overall formating issues; I would write up the original version in Nimble Writer, then post it here and on SB, then eventually post a more thoroughly editted version to Royal Road. I don't remember the exact reason, but using ^ isn't unheard of, far as I remember.
I'd usually seen them done after scene breaks and/or in the author's notes. Doing it at the end of the paragraph feels like it'd break the flow of the text, but maybe that's just me.
Fix'd
See above
Fix'd
See above
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HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
Ah. For that... well, ellipses are typical for trailoffs.
A dash (-hey, what's that?!) also works, if you're interrupting yourself.
Point. It probably depends on layout, actually.
Do you have an idea for the endgame? Or the next big part of plot? A weird lesson I've learned recently is that skipping over huge sections of story actually works fine, if that's what it takes to write the most entertaining bits.