"Afraid it's too late for that, sir." The tech frowned. "I think we're just about to start operations." As Lieutenant Havilland marched up and completed the landing force with recoiless cannon in hand, lights flickered to life all along Fumio's new mobile suit. The cabin door was left open, a rectangular hatch tucked behind the folded-down armor plate on its chest. As he stood on the scaffolding high above the hangar deck, he felt the salty breeze hit his nostrils, the sounds of ocean louder and louder as the Niflheim partially submerged its lower hangars, the water rushing up and swirling around the knees of their mobile suits.
Of course, it was a stupid thought anyway.
Fumio brought a hand up to massage his temples and said, "I'll ask Chief O'Brien later."
He lowered his hand and faced the technician. She was the same height as he was and right now he felt her presence. So close, not reassuring but overbearing now. He forced a small smile for her, realizing she wouldn't see it behind his mask then quickly looked back to his mobile suit. "Means I'll have to not die first."
"Yeaahh." She drew out the word. "Easier now with everything we put in it, sir."
She was right but it didn't cheer him up as it should have. He nodded and gripped the railing with one hand, the other held his helmet to the crook of his elbow.
"I've-- I've got to think a bit. Alone. Please."
She gave him a quizzical look and shrugged, but a second later Fumio heard her footsteps receeding even in the cacophony of a hangar preparing for mission take-off. He lowered his head to look at his hand. It was shaking.
Pre-combat jitters he realized.
He was entering combat for the second time in his career. It was the first time he was aware he was walking down the road to a combat engagement. People were going to die. Maybe him. Bullets and explosions. His cockpit oddly quiet as planes entered death spirals and flew around another desperately trying to kill and not be killed.
He knew he shouldn't dwell on it, especially now, but he did not know how to stop. He didn't think he wanted to.
The Niflheim began to submerge and the wind on his face, the ocean smell, woke him up from his fugue. He could see the marshalls moving up to the runway, one coming his way, neon sticks faintly glowing in the sunlight.
He squeezed his free hand against his armpit and climbed aboard his cockpit.
__"1-1, tower here. We're ready to crank those reactors to life and start slogging, the order is yours."
"Tower, 1-1. Ready to begin."
Mask on, helmet on, he flipped switches on in quick succession. As if in response, his cockpit flared with light and a growl reverberated behind him. A screen winked to life. Sensors on. Video feeds transmitting. Audio working as normal.
Calming. This felt right.
He saw the stretch of ocean before him, blue until the horizon then a light blue after that. His mobile suit had the lead position in the hangar and he could only see the very tip of Brandt and Lind's mobile suits' chestplates if he craned his head to the sides. Besides those, he could imagine that he was alone in this world, not even the promise of land to break it apart.
"All callsigns, this is 1-1," he said, smiling more easily now. "Report ready status."
He waited until the roll call was finished then took a moment to breathe in deeply. He exhaled.
"Tower, we're ready for take-off."
Then he took his first step into the ocean.