Scraped from here.
Your TOC
I'm laying this one out here for right now. Not sure the pace...
Your TOC
I'm laying this one out here for right now. Not sure the pace...
Mass Effect: Glorious Shotgun Princess (ME/Exalted)
- Thread starter GreggHL
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GreggHL
Engaging hilarity engine/air intake
- Location
- Daejeon, Republic of Korea
Scraped from here.
Your TOC
I'm laying this one out here for right now. Not sure the pace of working on it, but wanted to probe for reactions...
********************
The towers stretch into the sky. Gleaming spires of purple and silver, a singular monument to ambition, ego, and a lustful hunger for pure, material power. A single bridge connects them, high up, winds whipping the cables and connectors. It is a glorious tower, a mountain of majesty. A singular, towering spire.
"I could jump that." Testing her knees, the human woman with shoulder length red hair, clad in white, sectioned armor rolls her neck, and turns to her companions.
The turian twitches his mandibles. Slowly, he looks up to the top of the tower, towards the penthouse.
"You're sure about this?" Garrus Vakarian asks, "You're sure you don't want to be part of Plan A and just, you know, use an elevator?"
"Faster," she responds, "You take," She points at the brunette in the white catsuit, "Miranda and," she points at the wide hipped, two fingered woman in the form fitting bodysuit and mask, "Tali and keep an eye out for civilians. Make noise and keep Nassana distracted. I'm going to go to the roof and intercept the assassin."
"I'm reasonably sure we don't need an assassin," Tali says, "Shepard, there's a non-zero chance you could punch a Reaper."
"Backup's good. Just in case."
Sharp breathes inhaled and exhaled. She swings her arms back and forth, squatting down as her green eyes begin to take on an emerald and golden glow.
And Jane Shepard, Citadel Spectre, N7 soldier, and something else entirely, shoots into the sky with a single jump.
"Clock's ticking," Garrus says, reaching behind him, pulling out his rifle, "Let's go."
They begin walking in, Miranda looking up, trying to spot the black speck that Shepard is by this point. She shakes her head, pulling out her pistol and switching off the safety.
"I hate it when she does that," she mutters.
"You're just jealous that Cerberus hasn't figured out how to do that," Tali says with a small laugh.
"No, I've figured it out," Miranda responds, glaring at the quarian, "It's just that it would take more eezo being jammed into you than the drive core of an Asari Dreadnought. Clock's ticking."
And they enter the tower, gunshots marking their passage. And up the side of the building, a single, solitary figure runs up, towards the zenith. And a symbol of the sun blazing on her forehead.
-
-
Mass Effect:
Glorious Shotgun Princess
Your TOC
I'm laying this one out here for right now. Not sure the pace of working on it, but wanted to probe for reactions...
********************
The towers stretch into the sky. Gleaming spires of purple and silver, a singular monument to ambition, ego, and a lustful hunger for pure, material power. A single bridge connects them, high up, winds whipping the cables and connectors. It is a glorious tower, a mountain of majesty. A singular, towering spire.
"I could jump that." Testing her knees, the human woman with shoulder length red hair, clad in white, sectioned armor rolls her neck, and turns to her companions.
The turian twitches his mandibles. Slowly, he looks up to the top of the tower, towards the penthouse.
"You're sure about this?" Garrus Vakarian asks, "You're sure you don't want to be part of Plan A and just, you know, use an elevator?"
"Faster," she responds, "You take," She points at the brunette in the white catsuit, "Miranda and," she points at the wide hipped, two fingered woman in the form fitting bodysuit and mask, "Tali and keep an eye out for civilians. Make noise and keep Nassana distracted. I'm going to go to the roof and intercept the assassin."
"I'm reasonably sure we don't need an assassin," Tali says, "Shepard, there's a non-zero chance you could punch a Reaper."
"Backup's good. Just in case."
Sharp breathes inhaled and exhaled. She swings her arms back and forth, squatting down as her green eyes begin to take on an emerald and golden glow.
And Jane Shepard, Citadel Spectre, N7 soldier, and something else entirely, shoots into the sky with a single jump.
"Clock's ticking," Garrus says, reaching behind him, pulling out his rifle, "Let's go."
They begin walking in, Miranda looking up, trying to spot the black speck that Shepard is by this point. She shakes her head, pulling out her pistol and switching off the safety.
"I hate it when she does that," she mutters.
"You're just jealous that Cerberus hasn't figured out how to do that," Tali says with a small laugh.
"No, I've figured it out," Miranda responds, glaring at the quarian, "It's just that it would take more eezo being jammed into you than the drive core of an Asari Dreadnought. Clock's ticking."
And they enter the tower, gunshots marking their passage. And up the side of the building, a single, solitary figure runs up, towards the zenith. And a symbol of the sun blazing on her forehead.
-
-
Mass Effect:
Glorious Shotgun Princess
Yay! It's back!
It would be funny if Shepard only got to Thane after Garrus got there. "Where were you? Sorry, overshot - had to bounce of off a plane"
Also, how would geth react to Shepard, especially if/when they get her to join the consensus? After all, they (and Rachni, I guess) are the ones most likely to conduct scientific research into souls (which is required to understand what happened to Shepard).
It would be funny if Shepard only got to Thane after Garrus got there. "Where were you? Sorry, overshot - had to bounce of off a plane"
Also, how would geth react to Shepard, especially if/when they get her to join the consensus? After all, they (and Rachni, I guess) are the ones most likely to conduct scientific research into souls (which is required to understand what happened to Shepard).
The Sandman
So Zetta Slowpoke
- Location
- Wherever I am, which isn't where I'm not
Reapers make more sense as the Infernal endgame, actually. The Autochthonians are probably somewhere in the Perseus Veil, letting the Geth turn parts of Autobot into computronium in exchange for getting rid of his robocancer.
I'm assuming Shepard is a Dawn?
I'm assuming Shepard is a Dawn?
There is another part, which GreggHL put up in the Mass Effect thread a while ago, which covers the actual Exaltation.EightDeer said:
... you'll have to wait for someone who can be bothered to look for it to find it for you, though.
GreggHL
Engaging hilarity engine/air intake
- Location
- Daejeon, Republic of Korea
Some notes of order:
-There are more Exaltations running around than just Shepard's. Not all of them are Solars. At least 2 more members of Shep's crew will Exalt in some fashion.
-There is an explanation on why and how Jane exalted. Not just why, but how there are Exaltations running around the ME Galaxy.
-Most of the crew are Heroic Mortals.
-As amusing as it would be for him to learn to punch every Quarian in the face at once, Legion may not become a Sidereal. 1183 sidereals (as each program would Exalt) means that their version of the Great Curse leads to bad mojo. That's "We've created a taco cart which has gained sentience, murdered the Solars, and usurped the Scarlet Empress as ruler of the Realm" sort of planning. Or, a typical Cerberus plan.
-There are more Exaltations running around than just Shepard's. Not all of them are Solars. At least 2 more members of Shep's crew will Exalt in some fashion.
-There is an explanation on why and how Jane exalted. Not just why, but how there are Exaltations running around the ME Galaxy.
-Most of the crew are Heroic Mortals.
-As amusing as it would be for him to learn to punch every Quarian in the face at once, Legion may not become a Sidereal. 1183 sidereals (as each program would Exalt) means that their version of the Great Curse leads to bad mojo. That's "We've created a taco cart which has gained sentience, murdered the Solars, and usurped the Scarlet Empress as ruler of the Realm" sort of planning. Or, a typical Cerberus plan.
GreggHL
Engaging hilarity engine/air intake
- Location
- Daejeon, Republic of Korea
Yes, any species can exalt. All of them have the same two-part soul structure, which is kind of odd. That suggests something of a design option.Rythyrix said:
Doesn't it?
That's a bit harsh.GreggHL said:
A vital component of a typical Cerberus plan is having it murder everyone who helped build it, too.
logiccosmic
the Prince of Word Crimes
- Location
- the Hague, formerly
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Krogan Lunars! Turian Dawn Castes and Dragon Bloods! Asari Twilights and Zeniths! Sids!
Sovereign: You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.
Cash and Murder Games!
Sovereign: Please, allow me to refill your drink.
Sovereign: You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.
Cash and Murder Games!
Sovereign: Please, allow me to refill your drink.
You mean turn into gibberish broken wreck of themself, trying to understand all this that makes mockery of the law of physhics ?.
Amorous Intent
Love the future
- Location
- Octavia, Venus
- Pronouns
- She/her
So Shepard is Zenith caste, then? I would have figured she'd be a Dawn Caste for certain, especially as a Vanguard. Obviously, Engie!Shep would be Twilight, and Infiltrator!Shep would be Night Caste. Then again, Eclipse Caste makes a hell of a lot of sense for Paragon!Shep, but Zenith Caste? I can't really see the connection.Auks said:
GreggHL
Engaging hilarity engine/air intake
- Location
- Daejeon, Republic of Korea
Floors pass in a blur. Four floors at a time, the white and silver blur shoots into the sky, each handhold turning into another impossible leap. The surface of Illium recedes further and further as she ascends, leaping turning into feet on the side of the building, a run of impossible speeds propelling her skyward.
Glass cracks beneath her feet. Metal warps under her heel. She floors pass in a blur as she approaches the zenith of the tower, skidding to a stop and climbing atop a window ledge in front of a clear, blue lined window. A dark blue skinned woman with tentacles sprouted from the back of her head is yelling orders, pacing across the office in a blue and red, tight dress. Three soldiers in armor, one with a blue outline around him, stand at attention, scanning the room, guarding her.
She raps her knuckles on the glass. They turn. She waves. And then, she punches.
The window, which is less glass and a transparent material designed to withstand missile strikes, spiderwebs, warps, and shatters into a spinning cloud of shards. Several of which fly towards the blue woman.
Shepard flies faster. She leaps through the crowd, grabbing the asari by the upper arm, and with one motion lifts, spins, and throws her over her desk and across the room. Leaving her surrounded by the guards.
Shepard smiles.
Ducking, bullets fly overhead, to the side, closing the distance and sending her fist like a hammer into one soldier's chest, sending him flying as she unholsters one of her two pistols, a headshot from an exploding round downing the second mercenary as she gets a bead on the third.
Taking off, she leaps, running across the still expanding cloud of glass. A single jump crosses the distance, and she sees the look of confusion, shock, and maybe some admiration on the final guard's face.
Right before she slams her boot into it.
Glass settles, the guns go silent, and Jane Shepard smiles as she sees Nassana Dantius trying to climb to her feet, failing, and collapsing onto her ass to stare at her in wide-eyed horror.
"Nassana," Jane says, holstering her pistol, "It's been so long. How's the family?"
The asari sputters out a response, gaze going from the broken window, to her downed guards, to Shepard herself.
"But...but you're dead!"
"I got better," Shepard responds, "I'm going to get this assassin off your tail. In return, you're going to work for me. You're going to pay reparations out of your pocket to the families of the people you killed, set up a charitable organization, and make yourself a better person. Or I go after you, myself."
Boots on the ground, crunching glass. Shepard turns, cracking her knuckles, to find a green and yellow skinned man with vaguely fish like features surveying the damage. He turns, locking solid black eyes on Shepard, then on Nassana.
"Commander Shepard," he says, "How..."
"Long story," she responds, "Thane Krios?"
He nods with a soft, airy grunt. She looks at him. Sees him.
"You're sick," Shepard says.
"I'm dying," Thane responds, walking around the desk, hands empty, "Kepral syndrome. You're observant. Different. Reports did not suggest this."
Shepard nods.
"Thing've changed. Here's the deal. Nassana now works for me." She looks over her shoulder. "Don't you?"
Nassana quickly nods, eyes wide.
"Call off the contract," Shepard says, "I need you to work for me. We're going after the Collectors and I need someone with your skills."
He blinks, sideways. A second set of eyelids.
"This was to be my last job," he says.
"Because you're dying," Jane says, and nods. "Okay. Also, in return, I punch the sickness right out of your chest."
"Now you're just mocking-"
He doesn't finish the sentence. Instead, her eyes glow emerald, the golden sphere appears on her brow, and she slams her fist into his bare chest. Something explodes outwards, black and brown going through skin, leather, and air to paint the desk behind him. He stumbles back, eyes wide, coughing...and then takes a deep breath. A deeper breath than he's taken in a long, long time.
"What."
She grabs the crook of his arm, as the doors open to reveal her team.
"Let's go," she says, dragging Thane with her, "Remember, Nassana. Be good, or you won't have to be scared of your sisters!"
And dragging Thane behind her, her thoughts wander back. Just to where this began, two years ago...
Glass cracks beneath her feet. Metal warps under her heel. She floors pass in a blur as she approaches the zenith of the tower, skidding to a stop and climbing atop a window ledge in front of a clear, blue lined window. A dark blue skinned woman with tentacles sprouted from the back of her head is yelling orders, pacing across the office in a blue and red, tight dress. Three soldiers in armor, one with a blue outline around him, stand at attention, scanning the room, guarding her.
She raps her knuckles on the glass. They turn. She waves. And then, she punches.
The window, which is less glass and a transparent material designed to withstand missile strikes, spiderwebs, warps, and shatters into a spinning cloud of shards. Several of which fly towards the blue woman.
Shepard flies faster. She leaps through the crowd, grabbing the asari by the upper arm, and with one motion lifts, spins, and throws her over her desk and across the room. Leaving her surrounded by the guards.
Shepard smiles.
Ducking, bullets fly overhead, to the side, closing the distance and sending her fist like a hammer into one soldier's chest, sending him flying as she unholsters one of her two pistols, a headshot from an exploding round downing the second mercenary as she gets a bead on the third.
Taking off, she leaps, running across the still expanding cloud of glass. A single jump crosses the distance, and she sees the look of confusion, shock, and maybe some admiration on the final guard's face.
Right before she slams her boot into it.
Glass settles, the guns go silent, and Jane Shepard smiles as she sees Nassana Dantius trying to climb to her feet, failing, and collapsing onto her ass to stare at her in wide-eyed horror.
"Nassana," Jane says, holstering her pistol, "It's been so long. How's the family?"
The asari sputters out a response, gaze going from the broken window, to her downed guards, to Shepard herself.
"But...but you're dead!"
"I got better," Shepard responds, "I'm going to get this assassin off your tail. In return, you're going to work for me. You're going to pay reparations out of your pocket to the families of the people you killed, set up a charitable organization, and make yourself a better person. Or I go after you, myself."
Boots on the ground, crunching glass. Shepard turns, cracking her knuckles, to find a green and yellow skinned man with vaguely fish like features surveying the damage. He turns, locking solid black eyes on Shepard, then on Nassana.
"Commander Shepard," he says, "How..."
"Long story," she responds, "Thane Krios?"
He nods with a soft, airy grunt. She looks at him. Sees him.
"You're sick," Shepard says.
"I'm dying," Thane responds, walking around the desk, hands empty, "Kepral syndrome. You're observant. Different. Reports did not suggest this."
Shepard nods.
"Thing've changed. Here's the deal. Nassana now works for me." She looks over her shoulder. "Don't you?"
Nassana quickly nods, eyes wide.
"Call off the contract," Shepard says, "I need you to work for me. We're going after the Collectors and I need someone with your skills."
He blinks, sideways. A second set of eyelids.
"This was to be my last job," he says.
"Because you're dying," Jane says, and nods. "Okay. Also, in return, I punch the sickness right out of your chest."
"Now you're just mocking-"
He doesn't finish the sentence. Instead, her eyes glow emerald, the golden sphere appears on her brow, and she slams her fist into his bare chest. Something explodes outwards, black and brown going through skin, leather, and air to paint the desk behind him. He stumbles back, eyes wide, coughing...and then takes a deep breath. A deeper breath than he's taken in a long, long time.
"What."
She grabs the crook of his arm, as the doors open to reveal her team.
"Let's go," she says, dragging Thane with her, "Remember, Nassana. Be good, or you won't have to be scared of your sisters!"
And dragging Thane behind her, her thoughts wander back. Just to where this began, two years ago...
logiccosmic
the Prince of Word Crimes
- Location
- the Hague, formerly
- Pronouns
- He/Him
...So in this ME Universe, everyone has to try even harder to keep up with Shepard's insanity?
logiccosmic
the Prince of Word Crimes
- Location
- the Hague, formerly
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Blasto! Oh god, Conky is basically an Enkindler too!Unreluctant said:
Amorous Intent
Love the future
- Location
- Octavia, Venus
- Pronouns
- She/her
I know you want to portray the action as happening extremely quickly, but your action verb lists make you read like an Early Modern pamphlet. That's not a good thing. They were bad then, and they're worse now.GreggHL said:
The window sentence is particularly egregious, as it mixes a prepositional verb with the list of verbs for the main clause.
GreggHL
Engaging hilarity engine/air intake
- Location
- Daejeon, Republic of Korea
This is true. I'm going to go back and clean this up later- mainly because I wrote the whole thing at around 5 in the morning on way too much coffee.Amorous Intent said:
Amorous Intent
Love the future
- Location
- Octavia, Venus
- Pronouns
- She/her
At least you're actually writing. My story hasn't been touched since February, and I don't have any excuses anymore.GreggHL said:
GreggHL
Engaging hilarity engine/air intake
- Location
- Daejeon, Republic of Korea
Miranda has come to the conclusion that if Shepard's a biotic, she has more eezo in her than the drive core of the Destiny Ascension. She has no idea how this works, and may eventually throw up her hands and take up heavy drinking the next time Shepard punches a disease out of someone.Auks said:
Hmm. Interesting question. Genetic conditions like that are not actually Sickness effects by the Exalted mechanics... it's probably modelled as a negative mutation, and, worse, that's an innate negative mutation and as per the rules, Order-Affirming Blow and other such Charms cannot remove negative mutations. Hmm... aha! Yes. It's a Crippling effect at heart, and thus Wholeness-Restoring Meditation can do it, if she gets five or more successes on the medical treatment roll (this would be hard for the most skilled human doctor around, but, hey, lol Medicine Excellency). That's the same kind of magic as "Yeah, I spend an hour - or less if I stunt it - treating you, and over the next day or two, both your eyes grow back".GreggHL said:
Miranda: "Don't say it."
Jacob: "... I wasn't going..."
Miranda: "I could hear you thinking it."
Jacob: "I don't even know..."
Miranda: "Not another word!"
Kelly: *walks in* "Oh wow! Um... is Commander Sheppard actually Jesus?"
Miranda: *screams, runs out* "You said it!"
The Sandman
So Zetta Slowpoke
- Location
- Wherever I am, which isn't where I'm not
So does this mean that instead of the Crucible, we have the Dirigible Engine Daystar, and instead of Starchild, we have Shepard and Friends dragging the UCS, Luna and the Maidens away from the heavenly craps tables?
GreggHL
Engaging hilarity engine/air intake
- Location
- Daejeon, Republic of Korea
So, no punching Joker until he's healthy. Got it. Given, punching Joker until he's healthy might end up, well, breaking his everything, and then she has to explain this to a very upset EDI.EarthScorpion said:
Jane breaks the cosmic X-box with her cosmic baseball bat. She may partake in the snorting heavenly coke off the thighs of celestial hookers, though. We can't really tell, because while she's good, she's not exactly someone who doesn't indulge herself.TheSandman said:
Kimia
Insert Vulgarities Here
- Location
- The Dump Called Home
...Hm. Well, Thane's illness is based on toughening of the membrane tissues due to exposure to extremely humid air. Joker's Vrolik is wrote into his genetic code, in every cell. She could potentially do it, but... Whatever she punches out of him will be big. And really messy.
It'd probably involve rewriting genetic codes so that renewal of the bone cells doesn't result in weaken bones in about ten years
It'd probably involve rewriting genetic codes so that renewal of the bone cells doesn't result in weaken bones in about ten years