- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Yup lol
Mason Aves: The Wizard(Kinda Complete.. again)
- Thread starter HelloDarkness07
- Start date
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
You're assuming the muggle Government doesn't already know he's a wizard mate..
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
That was the condition the Auror put forth. It was not something Mason Agreed on. They negotiated, I just didn't write the negotiations. He will be allowed to use Magic to save his own life, but he will have to ensure every muggle that witnesses it forgets about it.
- Location
- UK
That…. was a horrible method of dealing with Tom. He used one of the unforgivables which is illegal. The one that causes mind breaking pain. Sorry but letting that go under a nebulous 'oath', one he's gotten around before and can do so again if he chose to. I don't even know why he even outed himself. Like whats the point? So not only has he outed himself, he let Tom go and it's easy to see he won't be letting this go. Hell even letting dumbles know about this could have solved it. Or a creative use of memory charms. Or his telepathy. This… this just came across as really contrived.
He didn't out himself, he went with his alter ego face and name.
- Location
- UK
And how hard is it to find out the links between his 'selves'? He explained his blood status, he explained when he went to school, and he essentially 'donated' his house to Mason. There are just too many strings to pull.
MC comes across as a bit callous for this chapter too. He made a big deal about healing and helping people when studying for the exam, while in this chapter it feels like he going mostly for the 'thrill'? And ok I guess he wants to meet Steve (which felt like an afterthought), but why? And how does he plan to do so?
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- Location
- kentucky
he did not out him self he used magic to change his looks
- Location
- UK
He gave his (fake) name. A name that is at least tangentially connected to Mason and talked about his school time. And Tom is very petty. Plus who knows if the Goblins won't talk for some money.
MC just made Tom into a bigger threat, Tom now knows he is not as special as he thought he was, his ancestry was something unique about him and he killed Gaunts & Riddles for being pitiful & muggles respectively, here Tom knows there is a descendent of Slytherin who is better than him, it gives him a reason to better himself so that he can hunt down MC and kill him.
Gender? Nope. In this era any women being trained for something would be at a different camp. Not in the army at all. In some support group.
of him.
Bad enough crime? He just tried to use an unforgivable on you. He has to want to make you feel pain for the fun of it.
So. All of the evil he does until you meet again is okay?
Like someone else said, this is contrived.
I want to like this story. I can't.
He went through all of the trouble to become a healer and then start to become a doctor to help people.
Now he is throwing it all away on a chance of meeting one man in the middle of a war. What? He has 0.00000000000001% chance of meeting him. If he does it will be more contrived than anything else that has happened.
- Location
- US
Of all the mistakes Mason has made, this has got to be his stupidest by far. One person being stronger than him isn't going to make Tom change his ways. Dumbles was always stronger than Tom, and all it did was make Tom have a hate-on for the guy. Seriously, has Mason never heard of never doing an enemy a small injury?
As for giving Tom another chance... so did Dumbles. Who gave him many chances. How did that turn out for him and the people of Wizarding (and Muggle) Britain? Tom's going to still be an evil psychopath, perhaps even worse now that he knows he has a relative who's stronger than him. Every single person he even hurts after this meeting will be on Mason.
And seriously, is Mason that dense to not be able to think of a workaround for his oath? Killing Tom during that fight would have been justified self-defense, especially if he reflected one of Tom's curses back at him. He could've wiped Tom's memories, implanted a new one. He could've made Tom take an unbreakable vow. He could've hidden Tom's ancestry behind a Fidelius.
I really want to like this story, but this decision was too stupid to bear.
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- Location
- Israel
As others have said, but it needs to be said again to hammer it home. This was a completely idiot-ball decision. "Hurr durr, he tortured two children but it's ok because he's a child" "He tried to torture me and mindrape me and then kill me when he failed to do the former, but I won't inform anyone of him being a psycopath and leave him in a school full of children which he already calcified in his mind as less than people"
Like seriously, just take his wand away, put a note over it (printed from a muggle typewriter) that says to check the spells cast from the wand and who the wand belongs to and then just leave it in the office of one of the head of houses, preferably either a Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. Once they find it they will either hand it in to the headmaster or they will run the check themselves and then IMMEDIATELY call the headmaster while also casting Petrificus Totalus on that goddamn psycopath.
Like seriously, just take his wand away, put a note over it (printed from a muggle typewriter) that says to check the spells cast from the wand and who the wand belongs to and then just leave it in the office of one of the head of houses, preferably either a Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. Once they find it they will either hand it in to the headmaster or they will run the check themselves and then IMMEDIATELY call the headmaster while also casting Petrificus Totalus on that goddamn psycopath.
- Location
- UK
Tbh, even the 'guardians oath' in retrospect feels like a way to restrict the MC enough for things like to be forced.
- Location
- England
I disagree with this part. The MC is like (exaggerating) "OMG the poor starving orphans! I must give them legally dubious food!" The lady running the orphanage, at the least, should have had a better grasp of the actual situation than that.
- Location
- Australia
I like this much better than celestial god. He didn't get Insta op and had to work for it.
As others have stated MC comes across as contrived, he is creating drama for the sake of it ... with how he dealt with Tom, why keep him alive at all? you have no problem with killing your character's father who did not do anything to you but leave alone someone you know will become a dark lord, someone who threw torture curses at you, someone who was intending to kill you for the sake of the future story.
Also, I did not understand the whole giving food he earned by street fighting to the orphanage thing ... he says he is already donating food that he gets from Wizarding world, so why bother with these small donations earned after beating up some desperate guy? when he's likely donating a large amount of food already? to keep him in the good books of Orphanage staff as they don't know the other identity?
Also, I did not understand the whole giving food he earned by street fighting to the orphanage thing ... he says he is already donating food that he gets from Wizarding world, so why bother with these small donations earned after beating up some desperate guy? when he's likely donating a large amount of food already? to keep him in the good books of Orphanage staff as they don't know the other identity?
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Not saying this as fact.
But maybe to show he's not a smuggler or something?
If they know he gets food from street fighting and he's bring alot of food randomly.
They know not to ask questions or talk to the cops.
And if cops look into it they either have to bust the ring and bring local crime Lords on em.
Or ignore him.
If he was a lone smuggler he could get pressganged or arrested.
I just realized he could have taken over the area by pretending to smuggle food. While smuggling the jews out of Germany.
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- Location
- Planet Earth
This feels pretty incongruous. Like, him wanting to be a soldier, rather than a healer.
Not happy with him not adding protections to the chamber and the RoR. Either to stop/change the KNOWN method of entry, or at least to specifically block Riddle. So he cannot get in and access the MC's stuff.
Hope the MC does not stop his training/growth. Like, rituals and reading/studying. Really hope the MC's desire to fight beside Captain America does not mean he is going to ignore Erskine until he is dead. Cuz I was hoping the MC would copy/download his knowledge/experience. If only to be able to add to it when he encounters more methods of self-enhancement. Like the Parkers and the Spider Formula, the Infinity Formula and its predecessor the Elixir of Life(not the Flamels version) and things like that. Lets not forget about Wolverine who was also active during this war, and who was one of the people to save Magneto from Auschwitz. Hopefully the MC makes himself immortal soon, I am hoping for eternal youth keeping him in his physical prime(18-21yo) when he does. Especially since his time manipulation is making him noticeably older than he should be.
Really just hope he is downloading more knowledge period. Seems a waste to have that ability and not use it. Stark was able to master/study Thermo-nuclear physics overnight. The MC should be able to as well, sorta, by downloading the experience/knowledge of other masters of their fields.
I can sorta understand the MC's Guardian Oath stopping him from killing Tom, I am sure his father had murdered several people to excuse his actions... BUT! Why would the MC be basically setting up Tom ahead of time, with duplicate items for him to curse, rather than a trap that would kill him if he attempts to make a horcrux. Or, more importantly, why does he not WARN some people of Tom's actions/nature, rather than letting him grow in power and knowledge, as well as influencing others to think as he does. HE could at least alert Dippet, who he KNOWS is more aware of the real situation/status of things.
Also, kinda hopeful the MC, when he finally meets the Ancient One, asks her about the DoM, I CANNOT see the master of the Time Stone ignoring something like that, unless she is ignorant of it. Maybe if they really were just protecting Time, but that does not appear to be the case here.
Not happy with him not adding protections to the chamber and the RoR. Either to stop/change the KNOWN method of entry, or at least to specifically block Riddle. So he cannot get in and access the MC's stuff.
Hope the MC does not stop his training/growth. Like, rituals and reading/studying. Really hope the MC's desire to fight beside Captain America does not mean he is going to ignore Erskine until he is dead. Cuz I was hoping the MC would copy/download his knowledge/experience. If only to be able to add to it when he encounters more methods of self-enhancement. Like the Parkers and the Spider Formula, the Infinity Formula and its predecessor the Elixir of Life(not the Flamels version) and things like that. Lets not forget about Wolverine who was also active during this war, and who was one of the people to save Magneto from Auschwitz. Hopefully the MC makes himself immortal soon, I am hoping for eternal youth keeping him in his physical prime(18-21yo) when he does. Especially since his time manipulation is making him noticeably older than he should be.
Really just hope he is downloading more knowledge period. Seems a waste to have that ability and not use it. Stark was able to master/study Thermo-nuclear physics overnight. The MC should be able to as well, sorta, by downloading the experience/knowledge of other masters of their fields.
I can sorta understand the MC's Guardian Oath stopping him from killing Tom, I am sure his father had murdered several people to excuse his actions... BUT! Why would the MC be basically setting up Tom ahead of time, with duplicate items for him to curse, rather than a trap that would kill him if he attempts to make a horcrux. Or, more importantly, why does he not WARN some people of Tom's actions/nature, rather than letting him grow in power and knowledge, as well as influencing others to think as he does. HE could at least alert Dippet, who he KNOWS is more aware of the real situation/status of things.
Also, kinda hopeful the MC, when he finally meets the Ancient One, asks her about the DoM, I CANNOT see the master of the Time Stone ignoring something like that, unless she is ignorant of it. Maybe if they really were just protecting Time, but that does not appear to be the case here.
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- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
This is a good point. MC, or more importantly, I made a huge mistake here, in revealing Mason to Tom, or letting him keep the memories of the encounter. I think I'll edit it, so Tom doesn't remember the exact relation between himself and Harrison, only that they're related. And even the name, I think. Sorry for this.
- Location
- Israel
The only responsible way to handle this without either killing or exposing the shit Tom cast to the hogwarts staff is to edit his memories of the encounter so that he thinks that he failed to open the door. That way when you change the protections to prevent him from coming in he won't suspect or be motivated to find whoever barred him from "what he deserves" or some shit like that.
But seriously how can you excuse leaving him in school with children when you know he'll kill them the instant it's convenient for him? Especially after learning from his mind that he tortured children and didn't feel even the least bit regretful over it and sees all wizards as idiots.
- Location
- UK
Author it's perfectly fine. As long you have sufficiently plausible reasoning for your decisions or a willingness to listen to people like me bitch at you, then it's fine.
So summarising the problematic points for me (and I believe quite a few other people) in this latest arc:
1) MC wanting to be a medic. There seems to be bit of a disconnect here. A disconnect between you telling us the MC wanting to be a 'save as many as you can' kind of doctor, and the pragmatic kind of doctor you are building him to be. Initially I thought him being a doctor, was just another step in his journey and mainly about adding medical skills to his repetoire. But somewhere along the line this suddenly became his dream(?), or it jumped a lot in importance to him. To me this situation felt a bit abrupt, considering his actions thus far in training his 'strength' and how hard he was training for them.
He's putting all this effort into learning medical skills, even going as far as to register in a normal medical school (which considering the knowledge available back then, was definitely lacking compared to the magical version, so a bit pointless) to actively seeking a military role in a manner that came across as bit of battle/adventure seeking junkie? And thats not forgetting the fact that most of people he is going to be forming bonds with in his training will probably come back in a casket. It felt like he was taking things too lightly. It was just a switch that was quite abrupt. Plus his reasons for joining the war (meet Steve?) are generally very unclear and unsatisfactory for a perceived doctor.
2) The oath itself. Knowing what he knows about the future of Marvel, restricting himself for little gain seems very foolish. There are plenty of other ways to help/save people without becoming a magically oathbound hospital doctor. Even if he got one with a bit more leeway, it just felt like authorial fiat making sure MC will have sufficient drama and conflict to be 'challenged'. IMO it feels like this is a bit of overcompensation from your other fic since that one became OP too quickly? I'm not sure.
3) The entire Tom debacle. This was handled very badly IMO. There is almost no way I see them meeting, without Mason killing him, to be logically consistent. Because right now he's pulling off a terrible light novel/anime trope of letting someone go due to *insert cliche/terrible reason* so they can come back later stronger and better prepared to have a better match. Even with the oath, seeing someone carrying a weapon with intent to torture/kill (confirmed by mind reading) is absolutely reason to take them out. Even more so after they had just attempted to do so to your person. You don't see someone with a aimed gun and a finger on the trigger then wait for them to kill someone before you act.
Also giving any kind of identifiers (name, skills, age etc) is a bad idea. Especially since MCs alter egos aren't fully independent of each other and there do exist connections that can be found.
There's a bunch more reasons the Tom section was problematic but the others have mostly covered them.
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- Location
- miami
I've always liked the idea that the blood war In Britain was a much lesser conflict when compared to the Current one. That the reason Tom was so strong had more to do with dumbledore being scared of going bad and most of the truely Powetfull wizards dying in the current conflict or being killed off in sneak attacks before the blood war even started.
Always nice job showing Tom Riddle as a petulant child, finds he's not special anymore and lash's out. The question is will he still make his first soul container soon. Also his oath won't let him kill someone who casts the torture spell at him? Or it just because he's underage?
Thanks for the chapter looking forward to more.
Always nice job showing Tom Riddle as a petulant child, finds he's not special anymore and lash's out. The question is will he still make his first soul container soon. Also his oath won't let him kill someone who casts the torture spell at him? Or it just because he's underage?
Thanks for the chapter looking forward to more.
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