Mare Internum: An Exalted Quest

[Crumplepunch]

[x] Our little secret.

Click to shrink...

"Like I said earlier, our little secret."

Her shoulders bow involuntarily in relief.

FINCHER: "I... thanks boss. I appreciate it."

"But no more hiding things from me, please. Things are confusing enough as they are."

FINCHER: "Yeah." She nods rapidly. "Okay. Um, right. Okay, there's nothing that big, but there are a couple of, uh, small things we should talk about."

"Go on..."

FINCHER: "Later? I promise it's nothing huge, just, you know, for the sake of a complete record. We can talk after we've had some food and sleep. Checkup first?"

[ ] Okay, let's do the checkup first. By imperial edict.
[ ] No, I want to know what's up. By imperial edict.
[ ] You know what, forget about it, I just want to go to bed. By imperial edict.

 

[ThatGazzer]

[X] No, I want to know what's up. By imperial edict.

It feels like she's really downplaying this, and i wanna know

 

[Crumplepunch]

[X] No, I want to know what's up. By imperial edict.

Click to shrink...

"No, I want to know the thing. Confess your crimes before the throne, or whatever."

FINCHER: "Okay, okay, fine! Alright, when I said we never actually met before, that wasn't quite true."

"Okay..."

FINCHER: "The fleet stopped off in Iora to pick you up, after about a month of sailing the southern coast. Like I said, I wasn't told who you were, only that we were supposed to escort you. But we did meet briefly."

"Uhuh..."

FINCHER: "There's not much to do in Iora, but there are a couple of drinking holes, and me and my friend Rooster, we were... okay, long story short, we met, and I didn't know who you were. I mean, obviously I didn't know who you were, but I mean, I didn't know you were who we were supposed to escort."

"Why not?"

FINCHER: "We were supposed to escort a dignitary." she shrugs. "You didn't look very dignified."

"And you didn't mention this because..."

FINCHER: "Ah, well, you see, we were a bit short on ready money, so I, uh... well, I picked your pocket. And you noticed, and you, uh, punched me in the face."

"That does sound like something I would do."

FINCHER: "And then when I ran away you threw that water bottle through a plate window and knocked me over again." She rubs the side of her head. "It was full. Anyway, I kept it. Didn't really think about it until I realized I'd handed it back to you by accident."

"Oh, so when you said it was my water bottle..."

FINCHER: "Yeah. I didn't even realize it was you we were escorting until I spotted you on the flagship weeks later."

"And that's everything?"

FINCHER: "I swear."

[ ] Okay, glad we cleared that up, sounds like we're even. On with the checkup.
[ ] You realize stealing from an imperial magistrate is pretty serious, right?
[ ] I'm sorry I hit you. I don't know what came over me.
[ ] I need to think about this. I'm going to get some sleep.

 

[Crumplepunch]

I realize I'm running through some concepts that might not be fully apparent to casual readers and/or those inexperienced with some of the minutia of Exalted. If any of you are unsure about things like the imperial magistracy or Pasiap's Stair I would be happy to clear them up OOC or perhaps introduce the topic IC if opportunity allows.

 

[ThatGazzer]

[X] I'm sorry I hit you. I don't know what came over me.

Sorry Exalt

Sorriest Exalt to ever Exalt

 

[Crumplepunch]

[X] I'm sorry I hit you. I don't know what came over me.

Click to shrink...

"I'm sorry I hit you. I don't know what came over me."

She looks taken aback by your apology.

FINCHER: "Hey, it's ok, boss, I get punched in the face all the time. As long as I'm not up on treason charges for it, I'll call it a lesson learned."

Seems like there's no harm done. Figuratively speaking.

FINCHER: "So, you want to do this checkup or not?"

[ ] Do this checkup.
[ ] Not.

 

[ThatGazzer]

I think we want the checkup, that was part of the intent on this, iirc?

anybody else wanna take it? Don't wanna be the only driver rn, being honest

 

[Parabola]

[X] Do this checkup.
-[X] "I hallucinated my sword giving me knowledge about the island's weather."

By the way that story started I was afraid we'd had an prior hookup with Fincher and she didn't know how to feel about it. But her pickpocketing us is in the grand scheme of things not a huge deal.

 

[Crumplepunch]

I think we want the checkup, that was part of the intent on this, iirc?

anybody else wanna take it? Don't wanna be the only driver rn, being honest

Click to shrink...

If posting ever gets competative enough that there are multiple people vying for the top spot in the few minutes after posting, I'll introduce a rule that the voting post has to be from a different person each time. Until then, it's all good.

By the way that story started I was afraid we'd had an prior hookup with Fincher and she didn't know how to feel about it. But her pickpocketing us is in the grand scheme of things not a huge deal.

Click to shrink...

I tried to construct things in such a way that minor inconsistencies and evasions would give readers reasons not to trust Fincher, despite her crimes being ultimately pretty minor.

If the dice roller hadn't been skewed so heavily towards positive results she probably would have succeeded in pocketing your ring and you wouldn't find out about it until much later, as she would go to lengths to conceal her spur-of-the-moment theft. That would have ultimately had much more impact on the story.

 

[Parabola]

If the dice roller hadn't been skewed so heavily towards positive results she probably would have succeeded in pocketing your ring and you wouldn't find out about it until much later, as she would go to lengths to conceal her spur-of-the-moment theft. That would have ultimately had much more impact on the story.

Click to shrink...

That's the dice at work. True randomness isn't as spread out as people think it should be - more often than not, you get arbitrary results, and you tend to highlight the biggest failures and successes in your memory.

If things don't change with the next dice roller, don't feel bad - that's just Plentimon spinning a wheel and laughing.

 

[Crumplepunch]

[X] Do this checkup.

Click to shrink...

"Let's do it."

FINCHER: "Alright then. Off with the rest of it, and we'll have a look."

You comply and try to stare evenly at the wall as Fincher scoots around you in the small candlelit room and prods you with cold fingers and various medical implements.

"Hey, should we talk about my recent hallucinatory episodes?"

FINCHER: "I told you boss, I'm a sawbones. If you've got a knife in your brain I can take it out, but I don't know anything about how to deal with memory loss or hallucinations."

"Okay, let me know what you find."

You close your eyes as she probes around in your mouth. She smells of mint. She continues to examine you meticulously. After each round of tests she scribbles a note on a scrap of paper with a charcoal stylus. You attempt to ignore her swearing in amazement under her breath, but after a while it starts to wear on you.

"Fincher, can you please stop saying holy shit, it's unnerving."

FINCHER: "Sorry boss, sorry. Won't be long."

She takes your pulse, measures your breathing, checks and redresses your shoulder wound. She methodically taps you with a small ball-headed metal hammer on dozens of points on your body. She underlines something on her notes with an air of satisfaction.

FINCHER: "Okay, all done."

"Great. Am I healthy?"

FINCHER: "Oh, fuck no, boss. I'm amazed you're alive."

"Thanks Fincher. Anything more specific?"

FINCHER: "Where do you want to start?"

[ ] Am I injured?
[ ] Am I missing anything except my finger?
[ ] How functional am I?
[ ] How are my organs?

 

[ThatGazzer]

[X] How are my organs?

You need most of those! Best check on that

 

[Crumplepunch]

[X] How are my organs?

Click to shrink...

"How are my organs?"

FINCHER: "Fucked."

"Again, could you be more specific?"

She checks her notes as she speaks.

FINCHER: "As far as I can tell, all of your major organs have been perforated mutliple times. Your heart has been pulverized and reconstructed, partially using metallic wire. Your liver is cirrhotic, which is normally impossible. I have only seen it once in an Exalt, from a massive overdose of autumn crocus. Your lungs have smoke inhalation damage, the right one has a hole burned directly through it, like someone impaled you with a red hot poker. You've been slashed in both kidneys by what looks like a great cat."

"Did you say metallic wire?"

FINCHER: "Yeah. Probably moonsilver. I've heard about the process, but never seen it done."

"Wow. What about my brain?"

FINCHER: "I don't have any instruments to get a good look inside without surgery, but from the damage to your skull I'm willing to bet someone has stabbed you in the head a few times as well."

"So... I'm invincible?"

FINCHER: "You've definitely had an incredible surgeon looking out for you. I'm good, but I'm not that good. My firm medical advice is to not get stabbed in the brain. I will not be able to help you. Except to take the knife out, like I said."

[ ] So... how bad are my other injuries?
[ ] Am I missing anything?
[ ] Does any of this impair my functioning?

 

[KreenWarrior]

Huh. Are we a Liminal?

[x] Am I missing anything?

 

[Crumplepunch]

[x] Am I missing anything?

Click to shrink...

"Am I missing anything?"

FINCHER: "Amazingly little, given the level of injury we are talking about. You've already spotted the finger. Maybe you missed that the lobe of your right ear is missing."

Your hand involuntarily raises to touch the rough edge where your ear terminates, a fingersbreadth above where it naturally should.

FINCHER: "Looks like a blade. Old injury. Anyway, what you almost certainly missed is that you are also missing several bones." she takes up her notes again. "Three ribs, including both floating ribs, most of your left humerus, your right kneecap and four vertebras. Aside from that, you're fine. You've even got all your teeth."

"My bones feel fine. How can I possibly be missing four vertebrae?"

FINCHER: "They've been replaced, boss. It's called Naygen's Process, inserting a jade-ceramic prosthesis to replace destroyed bones and encourage healing of the flesh around it. Incredible work. Not many can manage it, fewer can afford it. I've never even heard of it being done on a spine."

"So... you're saying I have invincible jade armoured bones?"

FINCHER: "No. The ceramics are a bit more durable than regular bones, but they're designed for the integration and, whatya call it, sensory feedback, to mimic natural bone and marrow. Between this and the heart reconstruction, someone spent enough to feed a legion for a year to bring you back to something like normal health after you were amazingly fucked up."

[ ] How am I still alive?
[ ] Am I going to die?
[ ] How old am I?
[ ] I don't want to talk about this any more, let's get dinner.

 

[Parabola]

[X] How old am I?
The first question: good for expressing the WTF factor, but Fincher just described in painstaking detail the answer - someone must care for us a lot. The second question, we know the answer to: there's always an ending.

Dinner can be obtained later.

 

[TaliesinSkye]

I'm starting to think the main character is a favored troubleshooter for the Empress. The sort of person you send when you want serious trouble shot. Which means we are exceptionally dangerous.

It also means that something serious is going on here. Something you would send a very dangerous individual to kill. Maybe not an anathema - sending one dragonblooded to kill an anathema is foolish, no matter how skilled, which is why wyld hunts are a thing - but there are a lot of other things that could prompt that kind of attention. A rogue dragonblood or a god, perhaps. Likely whoever is responsible for this rebellion.

Unless we were supposed to lead a wyld hunt, and the other dragonblooded who came with the legion are MIA except for the ones on the island already. That's possible.

 

[Crumplepunch]

[X] How old am I?

Click to shrink...

"How old am I?"

Fincher shakes her head.

FINCHER: "Can't tell you, boss. It's never easy to tell with an Exalt, and most of the markers are unreliable in your case. I can't give you a medical opinion on that."

"Can you give me a non-medical opinion, then?"

FINCHER: "Well..." she cocks her head to one side. "I'd guess mid seventies, mid eighties. If your, uh, what's it... your anagathics are as expensive as the rest of your medical treatments, you might be a hundred. With sorcery, who knows. I've seen two hundred year veterans with less scarring than you. However old you are, I'd thank this mystery surgical genius of yours that you made it this far."

"Yeah... I'll have a think about that."

THOUGHT GAINED: Maker, Builder, Breaker

FINCHER: "Well, I think we're done here. I mean, there's a lot more." she leafs through her notes. "But I think you get the idea."

"Yeah, I get it."

FINCHER: "Uh, actually, one more thing. I've been keeping the memory loss thing to myself, but I think word is probably going to get out that you're a little... off."

You think back to your conversation with your sword. "Yes, that seems possible."

FINCHER: "Do you want people to know about the memory loss? Or the magistrate thing? I don't know what kind of effect it will have. If I let anyone know, they'll all know."

[ ] Let everyone know I am the voice of the Empress. Keep the memory loss thing between us.
[ ] I want to be open. Tell everyone I am a magistrate with retrograde amnesia and I'm here to help.
[ ] No harm in letting everyone know I'm compromised, but I'd rather keep the magistrate thing under wraps.
[ ] Don't tell nobody nothing, I swear you to secrecy by imperial edict.

 

[Parabola]

Personally I'm inclined to keep the magistrate thing under wraps, leave it in as a surprise for when we really need to intimidate someone. But I'll let someone else take this vote.

 

[Soup]

[X] No harm in letting everyone know I'm compromised, but I'd rather keep the magistrate thing under wraps.

I just wanna say that i really enjoy this story, probably better than most books ive read.

 

[TaliesinSkye]

I'm thinking open might be the best of a bunch of bad options. We're not good at keeping it secret, clearly, and the authority would be awfully useful.

[X] I want to be open. Tell everyone I am a magistrate with retrograde amnesia and I'm here to help.

 

[ThatGazzer]

[X] I want to be open. Tell everyone I am a magistrate with retrograde amnesia and I'm here to help.

People respect Authority, and being eccentric with an excuse for it would let us get away with a lot

 

[TaliesinSkye]

Do we know if the Empress has disappeared, yet? I don't know where in the Realm timeline we are.

 

[Crumplepunch]

Do we know if the Empress has disappeared, yet? I don't know where in the Realm timeline we are.

Click to shrink...

It has not been stated, but there have been a couple of clues that she has not. There has been no mention of a Great House running Fincher's legion, for example.

 

[Crumplepunch]

[X] No harm in letting everyone know I'm compromised, but I'd rather keep the magistrate thing under wraps.

Click to shrink...

"Word about the memory loss is probably going to get around anyway, but let's keep the ring between us."

FINCHER: "Alright, that makes things easier. Here, put this on."

She reaches into her bag and pulls out a rumpled tunic in scarlet linen. It's light, sleeveless and knee-length, clearly a garment intended for warmer climes.

FINCHER: "My spare. It'll be on the small size, but you'll be more comfortable with something clean and dry."

You pull it on and tie the cord belt. It fits surprisingly well, if a bit close around the shoulders and chest.

FINCHER: "Can't do nothing about your shoes. I already gave out my spares, and you're not the worst off anyway."

"Still, thanks."

FINCHER: "Yeah yeah, try not to get stabbed through it. Get your stuff, I'll send your dinner up to the landing, then you should get some sleep. That's medical advice."

Without another word, she takes up her bag and leaves. You can hear the murmur of voices on the landing, and the creak of the stairs.

You gather your belongings in a bundle, handling the bared hatchet carefully in one hand, and depart. The hulking scalelord, Orison, is waiting outside.

ORISON: "All done then, lady?"

"All done."

ORISON: "Hope it went well." He glances at your borrowed tunic with an amused look in his eye.

[ ] It was fantastic, you should have been there.
[ ] It was pretty intense, let me tell you.
[ ] Well, I enjoyed it, at least.
[ ] I learned things about myself.
[ ] I've got jade bones.
[ ] My heart is broken, literally and possibly figuratively.
[ ] We both hated it.
[ ] I'll let you get back to sleep.
[ ] I want to be absolutely clear that no sex happened in this room.