He is the Quill of his Sword
Words are his Body
And Puns are his Blood
He has created a Thousand Puns
Unaware of Cringe
Nor aware of Awe
Withstood Pain to create Puns
Waiting for his child's Arival
He has no Regrets
This is his only path
His whole Life is
Unlimited Dad Jokes!
 
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Oh... I remember that line from the lich story...

Now you've got me in uber-paranoid mode, trying to figure out if the two stories are connected somehow, so good work there.
 
I am the Quill of my Sword
Play-words are my Body
And Puns are my Blood
I have created over a Thousand Jokes
Unaware of Cringe
Nor aware of Awe
Withstood Pain to create many Jesters
Waiting for one Laughter's Arrival
I have no Regrets
This is the only path
My whole Life was
Unlimited Joker Works!

Very good and yet Atrocious.

FTFY.

Don't misunderstand, i liked your post, but it lacked something.
 
Chapter Twelve - Stone Quarry
Chapter Twelve - Stone Quarry

The stone quarry was better described as an incredibly large hole, settled on multiple levels. The dust in the air was thick, and made breathing hard without scarfs or wool to cover one's mouth and nose. Wooden cranes swung back and forth, dragging heavy blocks slowly out of the bottom.

The foreman was a dwarf, bronze-haired and tanned. His eyes were the kind of eyes that squared you up and down, and then deigned you with a gruff scoff on the better days, and a snort on the worst ones.

"We're missing supplies," I spoke. "We'd like for more to be sent along with the next wagon."

The foreman's office was big enough, but neither I nor Mavrus had sat down. It wasn't that we wanted to look threatening, but rather that there wasn't a single chair that would hold our weight in the place. The desk was cluttered with papers, most of which were written in the short and concise dwarven runes that portrayed their alphabet.

"I'd like to dig up gold and swim in it," the dwarf replied curtly. "You can like whatever, doesn't mean it's getting true anytime soon." He grunted, pointing at the general direction of the quarry. "Can't whip the workers any more than this. I had to increase the workers' pay just to get them to stay. Funds are awfully thin."

"If it is money you seek, we will bring your grievances to the lords of Maneryt," Mavrus spoke in turn. "However the repairs cannot be let to stall."

"Why? Fire under yer asses?" the dwarf snorted. "Only threat 'round these parts are the wild animals."

"The sooner the castle's finished, the sooner it can be put to use in protecting the people and the countryside," I answered. "Bandits are like a natural disaster, the castle's patrols would prevent them."

The dwarf snorted again. "You tin heads always yap about protecting the people and yadda yadda ya," he shrugged, "They're your people. You want the stone any faster? Dig it up yourself or get me the gold I need."

"How much are we speaking of?" Mavrus asked.

The dwarf rattled off a price, and I furrowed my brows. We stepped out of the foreman's office, and I glanced at Mavrus' worried expression.

"Five hundred electrum pieces," Mavrus muttered, looking at me as if seeking confirmation. "Why would he want electrum currency?"

I turned thoughtful. "I think it's easier to pay the laborers with," I acquiesced. "If he offered to pay them one and a half their normal wages, then from one gold to one gold and one electrum the prices fit."

"Even so, there can't be more than fifty workers in the mines," Mavrus mused. "Does he think the castle will be done in three months?"

I shrugged at that question, having reached for the horses in the meantime. "I don't know how long it's supposed to take, but I do know we'll need to speak with the Steeleye about this. He'll have better chances than us to gather the attention of the lords."

Mavrus mounted on his horse as I did mine. The man clicked his tongue, and the horse answered with a gentle neigh in reply. Mine instead huffed, and lifted its head for a gentle rub. I didn't need to kick its flanks for the horse to quietly start walking, Mavrus' horse following mine by the side.

The light of the day was high over our heads. We'd return by the evening light, keeping the horses at a steady trot with brief moments of rest.

"I once knew a lady, of skin fair," Mavrus hummed a tune halfway through our trek back. "She had beautiful, raven hair." He looked at me, and I stared in brief confusion. "She had cheeks like roses," he continued, "and the cutest of button noses."

"Fair maiden where are thee," I hummed in reply. "Why does our hearts of ours ache so? We'll never forget your smile, we'll never let your memory go."

"I've met her once, under a yew tree," Mavrus answered my humming with a grin, "Now my heart hurts, and it pains me."

"Come back to us, maiden fair," we sang together, "Sing us of valor, grant us your favor. When we meet again, it will be at long last." Our voices rose a bit, but there was no one else along the road, and no reason to feel shy about our tone-deaf voices. "We'd never break our oaths so fast, oh wild lady so chaste. Then your fingers of bone you'll bring to bear, your sunken eyes will in our souls stare."

It was not a love song.

"Have we been honorable? Have we been just?
Sworn to our duties, did we do better than most?
Oh fair maiden, where are thee. We met you, under the yew tree.
Our hearts ache us so, your memory we'll never let go.
For when we meet, with your lip-less smile you will greet.
Were we honorable, have we made amend?
Were we righteous, down to the bitter end?
Oh fair maiden, where are thee! Now we are one, under the yew tree."

It also was one of the few famous songs that even the paladins knew of. Well, we could have hummed a church hymn, but I doubted it would have been as amusing. It wasn't that paladin had to be tight-lipped sermon-spewing people of steel and faith. Some took their duties more lightly than others, but at the end of the day, both the stern and the smiling paladin would lay their lives down for their ideals.

That was what mattered.

Mavrus laughed, and I did too. "We are horrible singers," Mavrus said. "We shouldn't sing without alcohol."

"We probably scared away the wild game in the whole forest," I answered.

The rest of the trip was spent ignoring Mavrus' wise advice, and singing our entire repertoire of tavern songs. The fact that most of them dealt with death, the dying or epic last stands had nothing to do with us being Helmites, and everything to do with the general idea that being adventurers was apparently something of a well-known profession.

When we reached the castle and gave our report to the Steeleye, it was clear the old priest had his work cut out for him. I hadn't met the lords of Maneryt myself, but it was pretty clear they were the kind of nobles that did their best to accrue wealth and power. They'd probably either need cajoling, or they'd send someone to ensure the foreman kept his end of the bargain.

In the meantime, both Mavrus and I would be messengers.

"Still ready for that beer?" Mavrus asked as soon as we were done.

"If it comes with a whole boar then I'm game," I replied, winking in his direction.

He chuckled, and we both headed to get our favorite reward.

The Inn's boar stew was actually a pretty good meal, warm and juicy, the meat tenderized and the vegetables accompanying it roasted over the fire to give equal parts of crunchiness and mellowness. It was the kind of food famished warriors would eat swiftly.

It was as we were wolfing down on the food that the inn's door opened with a loud bang, and a figure came stumbling in.

Awkwardly, the half-elf in question apologized for the commotion caused and closed the door behind him silently. He then saw me, and waved a hand in a cheerful way. Jhona grabbed his dinner, and then joined Mavrus and I at our table. "How's your singing voice?" I asked him, breaking the bread in front of me to clean the plate until it sparkled.

Jhona's expression remained puzzled only briefly. "I...I never sang something in public, so I wouldn't know."

"You're a half-elf, your voice's melodious enough," Mavrus quipped. "You're a wizard too," he took a long drink of his beer. "You need to have a powerful voice for that, no?"

"Well, that depends," Jhona said. "Some of the greatest feats of wizardry can be achieved without the use of the verbal components, since they are more keenly tied to the somatic and the-"

As Jhona babbled on excitedly, I nodded every now and then whenever I caught a reference.

The beers stopped coming from me, but not for Mavrus and Jhona, who both got incredibly drunker as the time went by.

The four in the morning wake had me smile serenely, ignoring Mavrus' headache-induced groans...

...for the first lesson of the Hang-Over club was to not Hang-Over-Beer-For-Long, after all.
 
No. That's bad. You should feel bad for making such a travesty of a pun. It'll forever Hang-Over your head.
 
Chapter Thirteen - Maneryt
Chapter Thirteen - Maneryt

The Kingdom of Alnam stood surrounded on its west flank by a range of mountains, in which the giants lived and made passage of goods through their controlled passes a living nightmare. The longer and safer way around went through sparsely civilized land to the south, similar to a Savannah due to its heat and lack of trees, and where the gnolls lived aplenty. There was also a passage north, but while more civilized, it also ran into the frequent risks of banditry.

The east was the crux of many a problem, not just because of the lush jungles, but also due to the ferocious beasts and incredibly dangerous tribes that lived in there. While many rivers and their nearby proximity remained safe thanks to the hard work of the agents of civilization -quite literally, since there was a god of Civilization, great Amaunator, the Keeper of Law- many others were instead wildcards, and some peculiarly organized tribes of beastfolks could use them to raid the villages deeper into the kingdom of Alnam.

Maneryt rested thus not at an extremely crucial way point, but at a peculiarly interesting one. If the castle was built, the patrols formed, then pressure on the northern side would diminish, and more funds would move to the eastern sector, to secure more land and ensure safer commerce.

This was why the castle's repairs were being financed not just by the local landowners, but also by city investors, merchants, and a great variety of people willing to give cash in exchange of future benefits, or of lighter tolls for the passage of their goods across the land. If something bad reached their ears, they might pull out their financial support, and thus slow down the repairs even further.

All of this background information entered through one of my ears, and left through the other.

"Which is why there can be no dallying. Those stone diggers better get the blocks they promised in time, or they will face repercussions!" Lord Vayr, a large and bespectacled man in his fifties, bellowed loudly. Mavrus and I were there as diplomatic and silent escorts of the Steeleye.

"We understand," Steeleye Norrick spoke, "Is there truly no hope of a compromise? Giving a bit, even if not all, would perhaps go a long way..."

"No, those thrice-damned stone-licking dwarfs would just wring us dry for gold," Lord Vayr grumbled, "They must work their due by themselves, or they will be made to work it." He slammed a fist against his chair's arm, much to the Steeleye's stiffening of shoulders. He didn't show any displeasure at the words, but it was clear that if it came to that, then changes would happen, and quite quickly.

We were the church of Helm; we wouldn't let a noble act like a tyrant over the weak, regardless of the righteousness of their claims. Still, we dutifully remained silent, Mavrus and I, as the lord spluttered out some more words and the Steeleye tried to calm him down.

We stepped out of the lord's mansion in the evening light.

"I don't like the idea that he's a viable candidate for the chair of lord of the castle," I muttered.

The Steeleye sighed. "It is not our duty to infringe on the laws of the kingdom. We will keep high the laws of our God."

"Should we patrol the quarry, Steeleye?" Mavrus asked.

The Steeleye shook his elderly head. "No," he acquiesced. "It is beyond our purvey. We deal only in that which harms the people, and strike those who run afoul of the Ever-Vigilant's tenets. Disputes over gold and wages are beyond us."

"Let us hope it is solved peacefully," I remarked offhandedly.

Two days later, a group of four cold-hearted mercenaries butchered the foreman, and beat into a near-death state most of the quarry workers. The four were mercenaries hired to ensure the compliance of the foreman with the construction of the castle, and were willing to work for four hundred gold coins, a pittance when compared to what the workers wanted. Lord Vayr had hired them, sent them on their way, and when news of what they had done had come back, he had been reasonably livid.

The fact was the mercenaries had come asking for the remaining pay, and he definitely didn't want to pay them.

"Lord Vayr is to be judged by a jury of his equals for his crimes," I spoke frankly, my hand on my sword and my shield at the ready. Mavrus was by my side, pretty much sharing my sentiment. "For what it matters, you too are to be judged. Surrender peacefully, and the judge may take it into account." A few guards and a couple of archers provided us backup.

The four were a varied group. There was a half-orc, holding on to a book bound in thick iron chains. His sheer presence made the warmth within my chest boil, but I held the heat at bay. Two figures clad in leather and strapped with enough belts, buckles and daggers to look like BDSM-actors warily eyed their surroundings. Even their faces looked similar to one another. The last one was a warrior clad in mail armor, a war-hammer in its burly hands.

"Very well," the half-orc spoke, his voice surprisingly gentle for such a burly and menacing individual. "We will come with you." He bowed his head ever so slightly. "A just court of law will see us freed, and our reward justly given."

"Azrius," the warrior grunted, "You sure?"

The half-orc closed one eye, a glint of something otherworldly behind it. "If we do not comply, we will die, Mornal. Too many of them, too few of us."

"This is all your fault, twins of misfortune, Janice, Jayne," Mornal grunted, a scowl forming on his lips as he unstrapped the buckles of his greatsword. The two leather-clad thieves scowled in turn. Their short, hazel hair and the scowl on their faces looked utterly identical. It was quite hard to find a difference in them. Still, they would surrender like the rest of their group.

"You didn't complain when it came to cutting them down like wild animals," one of the two spoke with a sneer.

The guards neared, ready to take them away. In a second, each of the twins dug a knife into the exposed neck of the guards, while the air near the half-orc crackled with energies from the beyond, twin rays of sickening miasma striking through the chests and neatly cleaving in half two of the archers on the mansion's rooftop.

Both Mavrus and I tried to near, but the warrior swung his greatsword with enough strength to keep us back, his expression one of crazed bloodlust.

One of the surviving guards dropped his weapons from fright, quickly turned tail and ran, screaming at the top of his lungs for aid.

He didn't make it far. The warlock, for the half-orc could be nothing else, whispered arcane words and sent more of those unholy energies to strike at the man's back. The armor melted literally against his skin, his wrangled last breath echoing in the dirt road, deserted of people who had run away in a panic.

Only Mavrus and I remained, stuck against a warrior who seemed to be toying with us.

And there i had been, hoping the situation could be solved peacefully.

The only peace that would be had would be that of death...

...for us or for them, well, that was up to debate.
 
Kind of sucks for those foster parents.

You raise a kid not your own, because you need an extra pair of hands and the kid runs of to do religion.
Depends, if he runs off and get killed at first level it sucks, if he manages to reach 10th level it's ever so good, because then he's going to get rich, and him being rich is much better for their retirement, than just having him to take care of them.

Or that's how it goes if he becomes an adventurer at least, but no matter what, if he don't die as a Paladin, he will probably be able to take better care of them in their old age than as a farmer,
 
Depends, if he runs off and get killed at first level it sucks, if he manages to reach 10th level it's ever so good, because then he's going to get rich, and him being rich is much better for their retirement, than just having him to take care of them.

Or that's how it goes if he becomes an adventurer at least, but no matter what, if he don't die as a Paladin, he will probably be able to take better care of them in their old age than as a farmer,
Has anyone here ever run a character who was trying to earn money to send back home, and the family showed up in the campaign? It's a classic idea for an adventurer that I don't think i've ever heard done like this.
 
Chapter Fourteen - Maneryt
Chapter Fourteen - Maneryt

Someone had to give in. The warrior could hold us back, but only as long as he had strength in his arms to swing his greatsword. It was clear that the time to attack was now; if we wasted any more time, the thieves and the warlock would flank us both and kill us quickly.

I bent my legs, pulled my body back, tightened the shield close to me, and then I lunged forward with a bellowing roar. The warrior spun his grip with practiced ease, smirking as he dodged to the side my charge, striking into my back with the handle of his blade.

Or so he would have, had Mavrus' shield not come up to bounce the attack away.

I continued my charge, the warlock my target, dead-set in my eyes.

I brought the blade back, ready for a thrust. The half-orc twitched his fingers, fell words uttered forth from his lips, and a powerful wave of unholy energies drumming through my frame with like a cacophony of maddening screams. They burst through me, but could not defeat me. The warmth within my chest brightly burned, a roaring inferno that repelled and denied the madness of the screams.

I was on him in seconds, the half-orc's body pulling to the side and only barely avoiding most of the swing. A shallow cut on the flank told me that I had hit him, if not grievously, enough to make him bleed.

Twin crossbow bolts struck the sides of my armor, forcing the air out of my lungs as I yelled in pain, the light stretching through my body to dull and deaden the pain. "He's a Paladin, he won't go down with that little!" the Half-Orc snarled, readying his hands for another unholy spell. The heat within me threatened to burn past my skin. It coiled like an angry, intelligent force that demanded justice and retribution.

The putrid smell coming from the Half-Orc was perhaps reason enough for my anger, but it was something that went beyond it. I allowed the coils of light to spiral into existence across my blade in towering flames, which released waves of heat scorching to the touch, and even more so when pushed inside someone's body.

I growled as I was already half-way through the short distance the warlock had put between ourselves. A bolt sizzled awfully close to my face, but the second instead hit my shoulder-guard and punched through. Even though my swing became an atrocious agony and an exercise in pain-threshold, I still lunged through. The flames burned through the half-orc's robes, the flesh became pungent and acrid, the fires spread.

And in that instant, I whispered the words of condemnation the Warlock had truly feared, "With Helm's valor, I smite at thee!" the blade shone, powerful energies pouring into it from my coiling well of power, of divine will and benevolence, and a blast echoed as the wound seared, and grew ten times worse. Faint, flickering lights of radiance glittered across my blade.

The warlock crumbled on one of its knees, snarling curses and groaning from pain.

I held my blade up high, ready to sever the half-orc's neck from its shoulders, when a figure tackled me from the side and dug both of its daggers into my flank and neck, splattering my blood all over the ground.

"Ha!" one of the rogue twins laughed, looming over me. "Dead-" light brimmed from the wounds I suffered, sealing them shut. The thief's eyes widened, especially when I slammed my right hand curled into a fist into her stomach, the noise of thunder echoing throughout the village. It rattled and shattered the nearby windows, sending the woman to fly in the air and land on her back.

I quickly got back on my feet, rushing towards my fallen blade as I held my shield in front of me, barely ducking behind it to avoid a bolt from the second thief. She didn't have the time to reload, my shield bashing against her face with enough strength, and from the edge's side, to send her on the ground in a crumpled mess of blood.

I knelt to grab the blade, a hoarse scream ranging from the other twin, having in the meantime gotten back on her feet. Seeing her sister dead, or seemingly dead, it maddeningly rushed forward like a banshee, or a dervish of war.

The warlock had been uttering foul blasphemies in the meantime, aiming his bleeding hand in my direction. There was true hatred in his eyes. That hatred meant little to me, because it was a shared sentiment. I returned his angry snarl with a smile of my own.

The cavalry had arrived.

A blur of fur and massive teeth emerged from a side alley, a silent beast of death and murder, of justice and righteousness all bundled in one. The teeth sank into the warlock's wrist, the momentum altered the aim, and the bristling energies shot into the air around me. Encrusted blood cracked under my armor. The closed wound ached, but not terribly so.

The rogue rushed at me, kicking the ground to send dust into my eyes, bending to move to the side. I bent too, meeting her head on and tackling her with my shield, rather than my blade as she'd expect. The brunt of the impact made her half-turn, and as I slammed my sword through her spine, she gurgled her last breath dying on my sword.

"Curse you," she snarled.

"I stand protected," I whispered, "May the Gods have mercy of your soul."

Mavrus and the fighter had meanwhile been dancing a deadly dance of their own, made of swings and feints, strikes and lunges. Neither was willing to concede ground, and neither was willing to let the other walk away. I barely noticed that my dog had snapped its jaws against the half-orc warlock, killing him like he would a wild beast -a fitting image, for the servants of the evil gods could be nothing more than beasts undeserving of mercy.

Still, Mavrus' blade flickered to life in a blazing light, and the next second the fight was over, the fighter's left arm chopped neatly off, Mavrus' sword sticking through the enemy's guts and out by its back.

He wrenched the sword free, and turned towards the dog and I. "Any survivors?" he asked.

I glanced at where I had left the wounded twin. A shield-bash to the face shouldn't have killed her, I reckoned.

It hadn't, but she was trying to crawl away while holding back her curses, a trail of blood dirtying the ground.

I neared and swung her to the side, slamming my boot on her right wrist and wrenching with my hands her dagger away, before unbuckling her belt filled with vials and bolts. I turned her around roughly, crossing her arms behind her back and lifting her up, much to her kicking and screaming.

The curses she rained down on Mavrus and I were something for the ages, but our self-control won out.

Around us were the corpses of her fellow adventurers, yes, but also of the guards, of the innocent men and women who had no fault but that of serving an undeserving lord.

"Lord Vayr has much to answer for," I said bitterly, glancing at Mavrus. He returned the bitterness of my stare with one of his own.

"He does," he acquiesced with a nod.

Reinforcements of the human variety arrived shortly thereafter...

...reality did not work on convenient one-D6 round rules, after all.
 
A blur of fur and massive teeth emerged from a side alley, a silent beast of death and murder, of justice and righteousness all bundled in one. The teeth sank into the warlock's wrist, the momentum altered the aim, and the bristling energies shot into the air around me. Encrusted blood cracked under my armor. The closed wound ached, but not terribly so.
When did he get a dog? This is the first mention of it right? Kinda came out of nowhere.
 
Chapter Fifteen - Maneryt
Chapter Fifteen - Maneryt

Lord Vayr was a noble, and thus only a congress of peers could judge him. He also had to be escorted to the capital of the Kingdom of Alnam, since with his actions, he had troubled the king directly. Said capital being, indeed, Alnam herself. The city was no less than half a month away at a sedated pace heading South, moving through areas that were notorious for their bandits.

One didn't need to be a seer to understand what might happen to a noble headed for judgment passing through slightly uncivilized lands. Sir Bravus had sought out permission to join the escort, and as a Paladin of Helm had to oversee it all, both Mavrus and I most dutifully offered our blades to the team headed for the capital.

Steeleye Norrick had chosen me for the duty at hand, much to my secret regret. I would do the task, and I would do my best, but I already knew that it would be of the utmost importance not to let any harm befall the noble regardless of my personal feelings on the matter.

Had that been all, I might have felt the task normal. There was also the problem that, as an eyewitness and accessory to the crime itself, the survivor from the mercenaries hired by the noble had to be brought along. She, differently from the noble, wouldn't be getting the same level of respect. We had two carriages, one for the common prisoner and the other for the noble one. The former was pretty much a cage on wheels, and the latter had a velvety interior and windows, as well as a driver seat with a plush pillow to seat on.

They were both under my protection until we reached Alnam. Anything that happened afterwards would not be my problem, but until we did reach the capital, I would protect them both with my life. My celestial dog could easily hold the pace of my horse, and as the noble carriage was set and prepped with guards from other nobles to ensure he'd reach the capital, the town's militia was instead bringing the rear with the commoner's cage carriage. Thus, the small group of twelve departed on a cold, windy morning.

I was glad I had a scarf around my neck, the cracking of it making me sigh in relief as my eyes scanned the horizon of the road. The carriages were moving slowly, most of the guards on foot and none eager to hurry their pace. They'd just get tired sooner, and then have to rest. It was true that a human could walk a long distance after all, and the guards all were physically fit for the task at had.

Endurance hunters, that was what humans were all about. As I mulled the thought, three of the guards were busy mumbling to one another. After a short while, one detached and courageously neared me.

"My lord," he spoke with the same tone he'd reserve to a lord. "When will we make camp?"

I looked at the man, and then glanced around with a furrowing of brows. Had there been another Paladin, I would have gladly asked for his counsel. There wasn't; and Sir Bravus was busy looking at the forest, as if eager to get his sword unsheathed and charge wildly into the fray of battle. I realized it was up to me to set the time for the escorts to follow.

"I'm no lord, just a servant of Helm," I answered. It wasn't a peculiarly hot day, but there was camp to make, and break. I dreaded the amount of time it would take for the lord's servants to set up a table and a chair for the man. "We'll try to cover as much ground as the day permits," I said in the end. "If you wish to eat while on the march, I will not stop you." It was true that Lord Vayr was a noble, and warranted respect. It was also true that he was to be brought to justice, and this was the gentlest way to do so. It was common to skip the main meal often, and merely have a bigger dinner when marching.

If instead he preferred to eat while on the move, then it would be his choice. The commoner would eat when we decided to feed her; it wasn't like we'd starve her, but it was common practice to give but a single meal, in order to keep them from growing too rowdy, or getting ideas on breaking free and running for the hills.

We did have provisions, which stood on the saddle bags of the horsemen, and some even on the noble's carriage. Meat pies that were stale when they were brought to us, and that would remain stale, but safe for consumption, for weeks and perhaps even months. We had dried meat, cheese, and what I believed was the most watered down ale and wine they could give us.

If we wanted something fresh, we'd have to hunt it ourselves and cook it over an open flame. It wasn't that uncommon, but out of everyone escorting the caravan only two had bows, and those weren't small, practical hunting bows but the large variety. The one that could puncture chain-mail and knock the wind out of you if they hit the breastplate.

The window of lord Vayr's carriage came down a few hours later, a valet wearing pristine clothes lifting a white gloved hand to catch my attention. I gently patted my horse's flank, and it increased its pace to catch up to the window.

"My lord?" I said.

"We will take a rest," he commanded airily. "Order the guards to stop."

I gave a slow nod, and did just that.

He was a prisoner. He was in wait for sentencing. He was also a noble, innocent until proven guilty. If he asked for a stop, then I would give him one.

"Take turns guarding the carriages," I said to the guards, "Groups of two. Those who are in need of relief, there's a forest nearby. Don't stray too far."

I glanced up at the sky. It was early afternoon, too early for a proper rest by setting up camp. "Don't rest too much. There's more ground to cover before the day ends."

In the far distance behind us, we could still see Maneryt, and way ahead of us, the verdant tops of the forest trees we had to trek through. Two weeks on the march would be a hefty toll on a noble, and I didn't doubt that the man's patience would fray and thin given time.

From what I garnered, there were more than a few roadhouses we could stop on the way to change our horses, and eat something warm and fresh. Of course, that depended on having the gold to pay for the meals in question. I suspected every guard had their own salary to draw upon, but for what concerned volunteers of Maneryt's militia, I did wonder if the temple of Helm had paid them in advance, or if they'd be paid at arrival.

It did make my heart bleed to think that they might be forced to sleep in the cold out of the roadhouse. Perhaps I'd politely inquire about the stables along the way.

"Shallowbrook!" Sir Bravus called with a wave of the hand, having dismounted his horse. "Since we're stuck here for a while, what about a friendly match?"

"No," I answered, dismounting myself with a dreary sigh. "We have a duty at hand."

Sir Bravus huffed, and then dismissed the issue with a wave of the hand. "It's just guard duty, an easy one at that!"

He had just jinxed us, had he not? I was reasonably sure that anyone who started saying stuff like that would normally invite retribution from the Gods of misfortune and mischief. I rolled my eyes, and gently began to bring my horse closer to some tufts of grass to have a snack. "If we hurry along, we can reach a roadhouse by nightfall," I said to the man, "I'd rather not have to take turns in the middle of the forest at night."

"Afraid of some Goblins?" Bravus asked, a smile on his face.

"There are other creatures that lurk the nights, Bravus," I answered. "And some are more dangerous than others." I glanced at the sides of the road. "If the task is boring, then I welcome it. For it means those I am sworn to protect will not be put into undue danger."

Bravus' face was really honest in its disgust at my words. He muttered something I couldn't quite catch, or chose to willfully let slide, and then he headed off to talk with some of the guards. Probably looking for a public to narrate his stunts.

A gentle bark caught my attention next, and as I turned my gaze to my dog, I couldn't help but kneel and rub its head. The Celestial Dog was a Mastiff, with its golden, intelligent eyes and wrinkled forehead. Its fur was the color of silver, and it emitted a soft, silverish hue of light. The tail shook right and left happily at the head rubbing.

At the very least, I would have intelligent company during my trip to Alnam.

Just as dogs were a man's best friend...

...celestial dogs were a Paladin's best ally.
 
After the whole Harry Potter fic, I guess Shade needs more magic and fantasy, thus landing on his dead DnD fic! Which is revived once. Huzzah!
 
Man, fuck these archaic laws. He's the fucking prisoner and he's able to practically run things. Such bullshit, being a noble his crimes are worse than the commoners b/c he has more responsibility.

On another note I am thrilled to see this story back.
 
Chapter Sixteen - Wilderness
Chapter Sixteen - Wilderness

Ambush sites were easy to pinpoint. You just needed to see a fallen tree on the road, a large rocky plateau by the side or some other form of vantage point for a group of bandits to use. Sometimes, you could even spot a hunter's cabin up on the trees, and if you were extremely unlucky, there were already arrows pointed at you from up there. Yet we proceeded at quite the quick pace, with little troubles from both animals and humans.

An armed escort was a deterrent. A Paladin of Helm, sworn to the protection of the noble, an even greater one. Why attack the one place where you were sure there would be a man willing to fight till his death, when you could just throw an arrow at a fat merchant and have him hand over his precious cargo without breaking into a sweat, or risking your life?

This didn't mean that I would remain blind to their presence along the roads. I couldn't hunt them down, but I did take notice of their presence, or the remains of it. Broken cart wheels, rotting remains of animals that the beasts of the forests had feasted upon, dried blood across the patches of cobblestone, everything tallied up to the presence of brigands, of humanoid creatures and of-

"Hobgoblins," I said distastefully. "We've moved from the frying pan into the oven," I glanced at the rest of the escort. "Must be a scouting party from the eastern jungles."

The cart had been overturned by what looked like a beast with big claws, the wood was chipped, signs of swinging axes stretched across the sides. Not to harm, but to terrorize; to beat into the wood and scare those within the cart, to hear their screams rise high in search of a helping hand that hadn't come.

The Celestial Mastiff looked worriedly at the tracks, sniffing the air and holding a pensive look on its golden eyes. I knew what it wanted to say, even acknowledging that it couldn't say it. Sweat and steal, blood and evil-few were the creatures that could strike with cruelty and yet also method, and Hobgoblins were the cruelest of them all.

"They dragged them off," one of the guards said, a sour grimace on his face. There were tracks on the ground. The tracks were spotted with blood. "To feed their mounts with fresh meat."

I glanced at the guard, and my stomach churned in turn.

"How old are the tracks?" I asked.

"Can't say for sure," the guard answered. "At least a day old," the expressions on his face told me the entire story. I knew what he was thinking, what I was thinking, and what pretty much everyone else was thinking.

"Bravus," I said in the end, turning towards the man. Some of the escorts exhaled in relief. Others grimaced even further. "I have a task for you."

The man's eyes glimmered with determination, and he seemed to gain a few more centimeters from the sheer pride that puffed his chest up. "You don't need to make it an order! I'll gladly go and-"

"Head for the nearest roadhouse, warn them of what has transpired, and then come back," I said, locking eyes with him.

"W-What?" Bravus muttered, "But-it's at least more than a day ahead of us! The tracks-we should hasten ourselves instead to-"

"We have a duty," I stressed out. "I swore an oath. My word binds me," I grimaced. "Go ahead. You're on a horse and you're probably faster than all of us."

I glanced at Bravus, who seemed to be looking for the right words to express his disappointment. "And if you find people willing to hunt the Hobgoblins down, then bring them along on the way back," I stressed further. "But for the time being, go, and hurry."

"I refuse," Bravus replied, flatly. "I can go right now and save-"

"Save no one, and die yourself," I retorted. "But we're already wasting too much time," I turned my sight to another cavalryman, who drew near at a gesture. "Run ahead. Waste not a second more."

"Understood, sir," he kicked the flanks of his horse and rushed off, a cloud of dust rising behind him as I turned to the rest of the company.

"The rest of us will continue our march, but stay on the lookout, and if you need relief...well, I hope no one's shy," I grumbled as the rest of the escort and the carriage resumed their pace. Though the peaceful wariness had now left the place to the nervous tension of an increased risk in ambushes. Hobgoblins wouldn't reason like human bandits, or half-orcs. Hobgoblins ruled through militarily might. What had been too big of a target for the common thug was, to a Hobgoblin, a challenge to conquer.

And I didn't think they'd consider us too big of a bone to chew, not if they rode on Worgs and were at least half a dozen strong.

Only, a figure remained resolutely on his horse, standing still. I glanced at Bravus, and furrowed my brows. I could see the way his fingers clenched tightly on the leather of his horse's reins. I glanced at my Celestial Mastiff, who seemed to be standing worriedly by the tracks itself.

"Very well," I said in the end. "Honor," I said to my dog, "Go and bring Bravus with you. I have no need for a guard that is too distracted to do its job properly."

"That's-" Bravus then quieted down. "Thank you," he said in the end, following after my dog's excited barking.

I shook my head as I watched them both disappear through the woods. I was sure I'd see them again, and so I put them out of my mind as I returned to the task at hand.

Lord Vairn would now need to remain in the carriage at nearly all times. I could sense the impending headache, but thus I had sworn, and thus I would carry on.

For an oath that is all too easy to give, and weights nothing upon our souls...

...isn't truly an oath worth swearing at all.
 
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For an oath that is all too easy to give, and weights nothing upon our souls...

...isn't truly an oath worth swearing at all.
reminds me of a saying I heard way back that went something like 'if you only follow the rules when it's easy, you don't really follow the rules' or 'if you're only a good person when things go well, you're not really a good person' but I can't find it on google
 
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