Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
Is it a Dessert Eagle?
Let's try this (Again?) - (PMMM/MGNQ)
- Thread starter Lord Chungus
- Start date
Matsuda: *writes*
Sayaka: ... what does that even say?
Madoka: "Drunk-Bad-Decision-Lesbian?"
T-Minus 12 Seconds until Madoka contracts and the world goes to shit.
Oh god, it's Pancake-sempai. ...why am I suddenly certain that Mami is not cool with Homura? I don't know why, or how, but my
- Location
- Boston
I remember coming across MGNQ on the thisisnotatrueending archive a long time ago and giving it up after a while because it was too long for me to read. Well, I just went back, and turns out it's much bigger than I originally believed it to be, in fact it's much bigger than I believed any quest to be.
And of course I have to start reading, now. May God be gentle with me.
Lord Chungus
God of Nutella
- Location
- The Hague (it’s where all the cool people are)
- Location
- Mugenkan
When I first discovered MGNQ it was sixty threads long, and I spent about a full week of my NEET life doing nothing but catching up. It would have been faster if I were just reading story posts, but there's so much you miss out on regarding context, like the shitstorm preceding and following the [X] Lick her Soul Gem vote.
Simultaneous condolences and applause for anyone trying to catch up because of this story. There's like three hundred ish threads now? And a rather substantial story-only e-book which was a few threads behind last I checked ( magicalgirlnoir.com ).
Simultaneous condolences and applause for anyone trying to catch up because of this story. There's like three hundred ish threads now? And a rather substantial story-only e-book which was a few threads behind last I checked ( magicalgirlnoir.com ).
[x] Lick Mami's soul gem.
I was one of the original people who voted to lick Midori's soul gem.
I was one of the original people who voted to lick Midori's soul gem.
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Chapter 4: All that was Old Is New, So Where Does That Leave Me?
Lord Chungus
God of Nutella
- Location
- The Hague (it’s where all the cool people are)
Your name is Chiaki Matsuda, and you are staring at your personal blond goddess of victory. She doesn't know who you are, of course, but that doesn't make her any less amazing. It does make your stomach twist, but you chalk that up to indigestion.
"Are you? The magical girl I sensed, I mean," says Mami, flawlessly recovering from a minor verbal slip up.
"That would probably be me," you say. "There was a witch, and I fought it. You sensed that whole thing, I guess."
"I guess I did," she says. "Was anyone hurt by the witch?"
"Nah, just me. There were two civilians, but they were fine."
"That's good. Not that you got hurt, but that the civilians were fine. Say, do you know if they were potential magical girls?"
Were they? You had never bothered to check, and they could very well be normal humans. If you had just traumatized two girls for nothing, you were going to make sure you woke up with a pounding headache tomorrow morning. Wait, no, you hadn't fucked that up.
"Actually, I think they were," you say. "They could see and hear the fuzzball fucker just fine, so he's probably after them."
"The fuzzball…" Says Mami, trailing off. "Do you mean Kyubey?"
"Are there any other lying shitstains I should know about?"
She frowns, and you get the feeling that you've just made a grave mistake. "Kyubey is a good friend of mine. You really shouldn't talk about him in such a way."
"Kyubey? Good friend? What, does he give you dead teenagers on your birthday?"
Mami grits her teeth. "You are being quite rude. Kyubey is one of my oldest and greatest friends, and I won't just sit here while you badmouth him. There wouldn't be magical girls without him, and then who would fight the witches?"
Your eyes go wide, and your breath hitches. So Mami doesn't know where witches come from, huh. She really has been tricked by Kyubey. Either way, you're not going to be the one to break it to her.
"Look, let's just change the subject," you say. "You think he's great, and I think he's the worst thing since non-alcoholic beer. We're just going to piss each other off like this."
Mami swallows her frown, trying to maintain the appearance of civility. "That..." she says, voice still tense. "What would you like to talk about?"
Huh. You never actually thought this far ahead. What did you want to talk about? "Well, uh, do you come here often?" you say.
"No, actually, I don't," she says. "This is a bit too close to Kazamino for my liking. I'm usually around central Mitakihara."
That worked? Maybe you weren't as bad with people as you thought…
Nah, it was probably just luck.
"Then why are you here?" you ask. "Felt like a breath of fresh air? Decided this part of the city had gone without your magnificence for too long?"
"No," she responds, indignant. "I was looking for someone. Kyubey said there was someone dangerous around here. Someone violent."
That- well, you guess he isn't lying, per se. In fact, that was an entirely accurate description of you. Unflattering, sure, but then most descriptions of you were.
"Don't look at me," you say. "I haven't killed anyone. Recently."
She narrows her eyes. "Excuse me, but you are joking, correct? If so, it's not a very good one."
"Oh, um, sorry," you mutter. You can't think of anything else to say, at least nothing that wouldn't creep her out, so you use your well-honed skill of staying silent.
"So, how long have you been a magical girl?" Mami asks.
Shit. Why do people keep asking you these questions? "For about… maybe two years," you say. "Truth be told, I can't remember most of it, though whether that's the amnesia or the booze I can't tell."
Mami blanches at that, face souring. Dammit, can't you get through a single conversation without fucking it up? Well, time to salvage this conversation the only way you know how.
"Do you like pancakes?" you ask. "I, uh, I really like pancakes."
Mami frowns. "They are… okay, I guess. Personally, I prefer tea and cake."
...
Oh.
"Well, it was cool meeting you," you say. "But I should go. School, and stuff."
"It's good to know that there's another magical girl in the city," says Mami. "Farewell, miss Matsuda."
You've already begun walking away, head low. You transform once you're around the corner, pulling a motorcycle out of your shield and letting the engine roar to life beneath you. Your mind wanders as you ride down the winding roads, wind blowing through your hair. Sayaka, Kyoko, even Mami, they're all totally different than how you remember them. They're just… silhouettes of who they once were, the same on the outside but so very different once you take a closer look. They're…
They're not the people who called themselves your friends.
For as long as you can remember, you've only ever dragged them down. How many times did you wonder why Kyoko kept going on pub crawls with you, why Mami would bother making you breakfast every day? How many times have you thought that their lives would be better without you?
And now, you have a chance to set things right. To cut yourself out of their lives before they ever meet you. You lick your lips, and laugh to no one.
Victory tastes like shit, you admit to yourself, though that's probably just the years of smoking fucking up your taste buds. Serves you right.
With that in mind, you make your way back home.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day is no better than the last, a cold drink and an empty apartment your only comforts. The walk to school is uneventful and tedious, made worse by your bad leg. You 'acquired' a pair of crutches from some poor soul, the 'who' lost to your hazy, booze-addled memory. Your entrance into the classroom is no big show, but people quiet down nevertheless. You suppose walking in on your second day with a pair of crutches will do that.
They're all silent as you… Walk? Crutch? Limp? As you limp over to your desk. You sit down without any trouble, glaring at anyone staring at you. They seem to understand that, because everyone hurriedly resumes their conversations.
You sit in silence, contemplating why you thought it necessary to come to this glamorous shit-hole, when the teacher finally walks into the class.
"Hello, everyone!" she says, breathing quickly. "I'm so sorry I'm late!"
She goes through the usual routine, telling you to stand and bow and all that, and she stares at you as you lean on the desk.
"Miss Matsuda?" she says. "What happened to your leg?"
"An eggplant broke it," you say. Miss Somethingorather blinks, taken aback. "It's fine, I blew it up. The eggplant, I mean, not my leg. That would just be stupid."
"O-okay..." says Miss Saltmine. "A… and you.."
"Yes," you say, sighing. "I understand it about as well as you do."
"I…" she rubs her forehead, taking a deep breath before beaming at the class. "Putting that behind us, I hope we all have a good day!"
Ahh, telling the truth. It was a good tactic, with a life like yours, and tended to leave people so confused that they decided you were more trouble than you were worth. You liked anything that got people to leave you alone.
The lesson she's teaching is uneventful, exceptional only in how boring it is. You tune out the chatter and incessant droning, and instead think of what you'll do for lunch. You didn't pack anything, but your shield will probably spit something out.
...God, this is boring. At least you used to be able to get wasted, when you weren't slaughtering your way through some poor sap's building.
"Now, Nakazawa!" the teacher says. "What's- oh, he's not here today…" Her eyes search the class before settling on you. "Miss Matsuda, what goes better with eggs, apple juice or orange juice?"
"Doesn't matter," you say. "Just get drunk and you won't be able to tell the difference."
"I... Thank you for the… 'advice', Miss Matsuda, but that would be day drinking."
"Day drinking is just night-drinking in advance," you say. "Day drinking means you won't have to drink as much in the evening. It's productive."
"That's… one way of looking at it," she says. "Well, continuing on-"
The rest of the lesson is much the same, and you jolt when the bell eventually rings. You slowly rise out of your seat, grabbing your crutches and going to limp out of the classroom when a voice stops you in your tracks.
"Chiaki!" says Madoka, somehow cheerful. "You should join us for lunch!" Behind her, you can see Sayaka frantically shake her head.
"I've, uh, I've got my own things," you say. "Like… getting drunk and skipping class! I should do that."
Her face falls. "B-but Chiaki," she says. "You, you said you'd let me- that-"
Oh, right. You said you'd "let her care about you" or some sentimental bullshit like that. Why'd you say that, again?
"If you were just-" her voice wavers. "If you were just saying that to make me go away, then-then I-"
Oh, for fuck's sake.
"Yeah, I kinda was," you say. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm not that great." Her breath hitches, and you turn away. "Just leave me alone." You want to say you hope she doesn't start crying, but you honestly can't find it within yourself to care, Kyoko's advice about letting cute girls cry be damned.
You just resolved to not fuck with your old friends, no need to go around and make new ones.
Your exit is made difficult by your crutches, but you manage to clink and clank away with your lack of dignity intact. You don't hear any sobbing behind you, but you figure that someone as experienced as Madoka has probably learned to keep it down.
---------------
This roof is way too fucking fancy.
You sit on a convenient bench, looking to the sky as smoke escapes from your lips. There's a fence along the edge, just as fancy as the rest of it. There's an ugly feeling in your chest, like your heart is drooping, but you ignore it. Probably just the result of too much booze.
"I can't believe-" The door opens, and even without seeing who opened it you can tell that it's Sayaka. The annoying voice gave it away. She looks up, stopping in her tracks when she sees you.
"T-Transfer student?" she says. "I thought you weren't-"
"What the fuck are you doing here?" you say.
"Eating lunch?" says Sayaka. "More importantly, what are you doing here?"
"Having a smoke," you say. "What, can you not see now?"
Sayaka growls, stomping towards you. She's scowling, hands balled into fists, and even with your lack of social skills you're able to tell she's angry at you.
"You know what, Matsuda? We need to fucking talk."
"Are you? The magical girl I sensed, I mean," says Mami, flawlessly recovering from a minor verbal slip up.
"That would probably be me," you say. "There was a witch, and I fought it. You sensed that whole thing, I guess."
"I guess I did," she says. "Was anyone hurt by the witch?"
"Nah, just me. There were two civilians, but they were fine."
"That's good. Not that you got hurt, but that the civilians were fine. Say, do you know if they were potential magical girls?"
Were they? You had never bothered to check, and they could very well be normal humans. If you had just traumatized two girls for nothing, you were going to make sure you woke up with a pounding headache tomorrow morning. Wait, no, you hadn't fucked that up.
"Actually, I think they were," you say. "They could see and hear the fuzzball fucker just fine, so he's probably after them."
"The fuzzball…" Says Mami, trailing off. "Do you mean Kyubey?"
"Are there any other lying shitstains I should know about?"
She frowns, and you get the feeling that you've just made a grave mistake. "Kyubey is a good friend of mine. You really shouldn't talk about him in such a way."
"Kyubey? Good friend? What, does he give you dead teenagers on your birthday?"
Mami grits her teeth. "You are being quite rude. Kyubey is one of my oldest and greatest friends, and I won't just sit here while you badmouth him. There wouldn't be magical girls without him, and then who would fight the witches?"
Your eyes go wide, and your breath hitches. So Mami doesn't know where witches come from, huh. She really has been tricked by Kyubey. Either way, you're not going to be the one to break it to her.
"Look, let's just change the subject," you say. "You think he's great, and I think he's the worst thing since non-alcoholic beer. We're just going to piss each other off like this."
Mami swallows her frown, trying to maintain the appearance of civility. "That..." she says, voice still tense. "What would you like to talk about?"
Huh. You never actually thought this far ahead. What did you want to talk about? "Well, uh, do you come here often?" you say.
"No, actually, I don't," she says. "This is a bit too close to Kazamino for my liking. I'm usually around central Mitakihara."
That worked? Maybe you weren't as bad with people as you thought…
Nah, it was probably just luck.
"Then why are you here?" you ask. "Felt like a breath of fresh air? Decided this part of the city had gone without your magnificence for too long?"
"No," she responds, indignant. "I was looking for someone. Kyubey said there was someone dangerous around here. Someone violent."
That- well, you guess he isn't lying, per se. In fact, that was an entirely accurate description of you. Unflattering, sure, but then most descriptions of you were.
"Don't look at me," you say. "I haven't killed anyone. Recently."
She narrows her eyes. "Excuse me, but you are joking, correct? If so, it's not a very good one."
"Oh, um, sorry," you mutter. You can't think of anything else to say, at least nothing that wouldn't creep her out, so you use your well-honed skill of staying silent.
"So, how long have you been a magical girl?" Mami asks.
Shit. Why do people keep asking you these questions? "For about… maybe two years," you say. "Truth be told, I can't remember most of it, though whether that's the amnesia or the booze I can't tell."
Mami blanches at that, face souring. Dammit, can't you get through a single conversation without fucking it up? Well, time to salvage this conversation the only way you know how.
"Do you like pancakes?" you ask. "I, uh, I really like pancakes."
Mami frowns. "They are… okay, I guess. Personally, I prefer tea and cake."
...
Oh.
"Well, it was cool meeting you," you say. "But I should go. School, and stuff."
"It's good to know that there's another magical girl in the city," says Mami. "Farewell, miss Matsuda."
You've already begun walking away, head low. You transform once you're around the corner, pulling a motorcycle out of your shield and letting the engine roar to life beneath you. Your mind wanders as you ride down the winding roads, wind blowing through your hair. Sayaka, Kyoko, even Mami, they're all totally different than how you remember them. They're just… silhouettes of who they once were, the same on the outside but so very different once you take a closer look. They're…
They're not the people who called themselves your friends.
For as long as you can remember, you've only ever dragged them down. How many times did you wonder why Kyoko kept going on pub crawls with you, why Mami would bother making you breakfast every day? How many times have you thought that their lives would be better without you?
And now, you have a chance to set things right. To cut yourself out of their lives before they ever meet you. You lick your lips, and laugh to no one.
Victory tastes like shit, you admit to yourself, though that's probably just the years of smoking fucking up your taste buds. Serves you right.
With that in mind, you make your way back home.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day is no better than the last, a cold drink and an empty apartment your only comforts. The walk to school is uneventful and tedious, made worse by your bad leg. You 'acquired' a pair of crutches from some poor soul, the 'who' lost to your hazy, booze-addled memory. Your entrance into the classroom is no big show, but people quiet down nevertheless. You suppose walking in on your second day with a pair of crutches will do that.
They're all silent as you… Walk? Crutch? Limp? As you limp over to your desk. You sit down without any trouble, glaring at anyone staring at you. They seem to understand that, because everyone hurriedly resumes their conversations.
You sit in silence, contemplating why you thought it necessary to come to this glamorous shit-hole, when the teacher finally walks into the class.
"Hello, everyone!" she says, breathing quickly. "I'm so sorry I'm late!"
She goes through the usual routine, telling you to stand and bow and all that, and she stares at you as you lean on the desk.
"Miss Matsuda?" she says. "What happened to your leg?"
"An eggplant broke it," you say. Miss Somethingorather blinks, taken aback. "It's fine, I blew it up. The eggplant, I mean, not my leg. That would just be stupid."
"O-okay..." says Miss Saltmine. "A… and you.."
"Yes," you say, sighing. "I understand it about as well as you do."
"I…" she rubs her forehead, taking a deep breath before beaming at the class. "Putting that behind us, I hope we all have a good day!"
Ahh, telling the truth. It was a good tactic, with a life like yours, and tended to leave people so confused that they decided you were more trouble than you were worth. You liked anything that got people to leave you alone.
The lesson she's teaching is uneventful, exceptional only in how boring it is. You tune out the chatter and incessant droning, and instead think of what you'll do for lunch. You didn't pack anything, but your shield will probably spit something out.
...God, this is boring. At least you used to be able to get wasted, when you weren't slaughtering your way through some poor sap's building.
"Now, Nakazawa!" the teacher says. "What's- oh, he's not here today…" Her eyes search the class before settling on you. "Miss Matsuda, what goes better with eggs, apple juice or orange juice?"
"Doesn't matter," you say. "Just get drunk and you won't be able to tell the difference."
"I... Thank you for the… 'advice', Miss Matsuda, but that would be day drinking."
"Day drinking is just night-drinking in advance," you say. "Day drinking means you won't have to drink as much in the evening. It's productive."
"That's… one way of looking at it," she says. "Well, continuing on-"
The rest of the lesson is much the same, and you jolt when the bell eventually rings. You slowly rise out of your seat, grabbing your crutches and going to limp out of the classroom when a voice stops you in your tracks.
"Chiaki!" says Madoka, somehow cheerful. "You should join us for lunch!" Behind her, you can see Sayaka frantically shake her head.
"I've, uh, I've got my own things," you say. "Like… getting drunk and skipping class! I should do that."
Her face falls. "B-but Chiaki," she says. "You, you said you'd let me- that-"
Oh, right. You said you'd "let her care about you" or some sentimental bullshit like that. Why'd you say that, again?
"If you were just-" her voice wavers. "If you were just saying that to make me go away, then-then I-"
Oh, for fuck's sake.
"Yeah, I kinda was," you say. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm not that great." Her breath hitches, and you turn away. "Just leave me alone." You want to say you hope she doesn't start crying, but you honestly can't find it within yourself to care, Kyoko's advice about letting cute girls cry be damned.
You just resolved to not fuck with your old friends, no need to go around and make new ones.
Your exit is made difficult by your crutches, but you manage to clink and clank away with your lack of dignity intact. You don't hear any sobbing behind you, but you figure that someone as experienced as Madoka has probably learned to keep it down.
---------------
This roof is way too fucking fancy.
You sit on a convenient bench, looking to the sky as smoke escapes from your lips. There's a fence along the edge, just as fancy as the rest of it. There's an ugly feeling in your chest, like your heart is drooping, but you ignore it. Probably just the result of too much booze.
"I can't believe-" The door opens, and even without seeing who opened it you can tell that it's Sayaka. The annoying voice gave it away. She looks up, stopping in her tracks when she sees you.
"T-Transfer student?" she says. "I thought you weren't-"
"What the fuck are you doing here?" you say.
"Eating lunch?" says Sayaka. "More importantly, what are you doing here?"
"Having a smoke," you say. "What, can you not see now?"
Sayaka growls, stomping towards you. She's scowling, hands balled into fists, and even with your lack of social skills you're able to tell she's angry at you.
"You know what, Matsuda? We need to fucking talk."
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Onmur
Archangel of Nutella.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Fencier?
Outside?
Oh my Lord, everything is wrong.
Did you mean...
Fencier?
Onmur
Archangel of Nutella.
You know, it's probably a good thing Angryaka is here to save the day.
Chiaki doesn't even know why she's at school. She's trying to cut all ties so she doesn't drag anyone down with her.
If nobody did anything, Chiaki would probably... not got anywhere good. Something needs to happen to avert this.
So chances that things go wrong, but also chances that things improve! Classic Sayaka case, ain't no good things happen without a little risk.
Chiaki doesn't even know why she's at school. She's trying to cut all ties so she doesn't drag anyone down with her.
If nobody did anything, Chiaki would probably... not got anywhere good. Something needs to happen to avert this.
So chances that things go wrong, but also chances that things improve! Classic Sayaka case, ain't no good things happen without a little risk.
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AnonymousRabbit
Rabbit Faced
Blueberry rage hype.
- Location
- The Beach
oh boy oh boy oh boy
- Location
- U.S.A.
I'm so hype for this Sayaka intervention. Sayaka is what Chiaki needs (and also what she deserves).
Tiypo
Forever Phone Posting
The roof top is actually a portal to Anor Londo. Thankfully for the girls, it's also out of range of the archers.
(Unless that's what you're referring to with the slip up)
Chapter 5: End of the Beginning, Beginning of the End
Lord Chungus
God of Nutella
- Location
- The Hague (it’s where all the cool people are)
You name is Chiaki Matsuda, and this blue-haired bitch is starting to get on your nerves. Said blue-haired bitch stomps forward, mouth twisted into an ugly snarl that makes her somehow even more unappealing. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Transfer Student!" Sayaka shouts.
"That's like asking how many styles of architecture this shitty city uses," you say. "Cause the answer's a fucking lot."
Somehow, this does nothing to ease Sayaka's anger. "No!" she shouts. "Enough with the snarky comments and the fucking insults! Madoka's trying to be nice to you, trying to help you! You have no right to be such a complete and total bitch!"
You raise an eyebrow, taking a drag of your cigarette. "Are you done?"
This only serves to infuriate her even further. She stomps up to where you are, stopping not even a foot in front of you. "I'm being serious," she says. "What. The fuck. Is wrong with you! What are you trying to do? Or do you not even have a game plan, you're just naturally unbearable?"
"Got it in… two? Three? Well, it took you a few guesses, but you got it."
"Seriously? That's your answer? "Oh, I'm just a bitch," nothing else? Don't fucking lie to me, transfer student."
Okay, what is her problem? You feel your arms shaking, anger building. "That's my answer, Blueberry. Take it or leave it, I don't care which."
"No, I won't! I'm not leaving until I know what your fucking problem is with Madoka, and with me, and, hell, with everything!"
"Okay, cool. That's fine by me. Stay here as long as you want."
"What, you think I'm kidding? I'm fine with missing class, if that's what it takes."
You chuckle, blowing smoke into Sayaka's face. "Again, I don't care. It doesn't matter how long you stay here, because I'm leaving." Sayaka blinks, and you relish the look of shock on her face. "Yeah, that's the thing with roofs, dumbass. I can leave whenever the fuck I feel like. So stand here all you want, I couldn't care less."
You stand up, testing your bad leg. You feel a twinge of pain when you put your weight on it, but it seems like it's almost fully healed. You move to go around Sayaka, but she steps to the side, once again getting in your way.
"Transfer Student," she says, voice shaking. "Would it kill you to just explain stuff? You were a total bitch yesterday, but you tried to help us! You saved our lives!"
"And now you're right in my face," you say. "No good deed goes unpunished, and all that."
"So what the fuck changed, transfer student?" Sayaka continues ignoring your comment. "Why'd you go from snarky comments while you saved our asses and explained the system to full-blown hostility?"
"Let me ask you a question of my own," you say. "Why the fuck do you care?"
"Why do I care?" says Sayaka, indignant. "Why do I care that you made my best friend cry? Why do I care that you're a rude drunkard when you could be a fucking hero? Why do-"
"You're a fucking idiot. Me? A hero? What a joke."
"Transfer student, you saved our lives! If you hadn't been there, we would be dead!"
"If you can become magical girls, Kyubey would have made contracts with the both of you. Now get out of my way."
You step to the side, and Sayaka follows suit. "Weren't you just going on about how being a magical girl is a death sentence?"
"Someone else would have come along," you reply, patience thinning.
"Then where were they, huh?" Sayaka spreads her arms out. "Just admit that you saved our lives, Transfer Student. How is that so hard?"
"Because it's not true!" you say. "Because I'm not a fucking hero, which you can't seem to get through your thick fucking skull. Now get out of my way!"
"Not until you answer my question!"
You grind your teeth together, face twisting into a snarl. Well, if this dumb sack of shit wants to know, why not just tell her?
"You know what I want?" you say. "I just want to be left alone. I just want you and Madoka and whoever that green bitch is to leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you, or have lunch with you, or be your fucking playmate. I just want to lie down and get drunk and hate my fucking life, but you can't even allow me that! You need to be my friend, and talk with me, and all that menial, pointless, bullshit that I fucking hate!"
Sayaka tries to interject, but you keep yelling. "And if you keep trying to talk to me, then I'll just shoot you and be done with it! Do I make myself clear?"
Sayaka swallows. "Transfer Student..."
"Now, are you going to get out of my way?"
Sayaka stares at you, maintain eye contact as she takes a deep breath. "T-Transfer Student," she eventually says. "I… I'm not going to just leave you-"
"Okay," you say. Sayaka blinks and you step forward, putting your weight on your forward foot as you drive your fist into her stomach. She lets out a strangled gasp, collapsing onto her knees and clutching her stomach.
"Let me be clear," you say, raising your voice to be heard over Sayaka's shaky gasps. "I just want to be left alone. Don't try to talk to me, or be friends with me, or any of that, or I'll be more than happy to do this again." You walk away, stopping in front of Madoka. She looks at you with… you're not sure what it is, exactly. Some odd mix of fear, pity, and concern.
Well, you don't care how she looks at you, as long as she leaves you alone. It'll be better for the both of you, that way. Though if she's kind enough to still be concerned with you… Well, might as well finish the job.
"You're fucking pathetic," you say. "Both of you. You're stupid, and naive, and I want no part in your stupid lives."
"Y-you, fucking…" Sayaka trails off, taking another shaky breath. "W-what, are you too good to hang with us normal people? Do we not deserve you?"
You chuckle, a sardonic smile twisting its way to your face. "Yeah, I guess you're right," you say. "You don't deserve me."
You doubt they catch the wordplay- actually, it would be pretty bad for you if they did- but you've always been your most loyal audience. Still smiling, you make your way to the door that leads down into the school.
It only takes a few minutes to leave the school, find a decently-hidden place, and transform into your magical girl outfit. As you take out a motorcycle, your stupid mind can't help but drift back to your conversation with Sayaka.
It went… well, you guess? Sayaka and Madoka won't be inviting you out to lunch anytime soon, so you guess the mission was accomplished. But then again, what is your mission? You want to stop shit from going wrong, whatever it is that turns Madoka into Pinky. You don't want to fuck things even more, which you would do if people got attached to you.
So, essentially, you want to help Madoka and Mami and Kyoko without them coming to like you. The last part should be easy, given your you-ness, but how the fuck do you help people if you're busy pushing them away?
If you succeed at pushing them away- and really, you're pretty skilled in that- then they won't listen to you or let you help them. So, what do you do?
Well, the obvious choice is to try and strike a balance; be just enough of a bitch that no one starts to like you, without being so awful as to drive them away entirely. You.. might have failed that last bit, what with punching Sayaka in the stomach and whatnot. Heh. Just like you to fuck up a plan before you even make it.
You ride along, crossing bridges and intersections as you once again muse about your future. It's probably irresponsible of you to plot while driving, but you can't find it within yourself to care.
The metropolitan skyline fades away and reappears, and you find yourself in Mitakihara's neighboring city, Kazamino. It's just like Mitakihara, all giant skyscrapers and towering structures, and it's just as shitty a place to live. Honestly, how do people do it? Do they live in the pointy bits that stick out of every fucking building? Questions for another time.
"Oy, Matsuda!" A loud voice from above breaks you out of your musing. You recognize it as belonging to Kyoko, and a quick glance upwards confirms it. She's sitting on the edge of one of the smaller alcoves. Yuma's sitting next to her, kicking her legs back and forth. Well, you suppose you should join them.
You slip off the bike, noticing with an iota of pride that your leg doesn't twinge in pain. Deciding to make use of your now-functional leg, you immediately proceed to do one of the dumbest things possible, and try to jump over a building.
Rather predictably, you fail, but you haven't got this far by expecting things to work out for you. You land on a fire escape, and make the much more tedious journey up from there.
Kyoko and Yuma are staring at you as you climb over the edge of the roof with looks of exasperated confusion.
"Sup," you say.
"You know, that was almost impressive," says Kyoko. "But then you failed miserably, and it went back to being impressively bad."
"I'm not a fucking ballerina."
Yuma turns her head, looking between you and Kyoko in confusion. "W-What do ballerinas have to do with this? Do tutus make them fly! Oh, Yuma knew they could fly!"
"No, Yuma, they can't fly," says Kyoko. "And Chiaki, stop putting weird ideas into Yuma's head. She's small, if she gets filled with any more weirdness she'll explode. Probably burst in rainbows and shit, too."
You chuckle, and pull out a cigarette. Remember, you have to be enough of a bitch that they don't get attached to you, but not so much that they stop you from helping them.
"So, what did you fuckos want?" you ask.
"Well, I was wondering what you're doing in my territory. I can get why you'd go to Hanegawa's- that place is fucking amazing- but if you're here for witches, I'll have to ask you to leave."
Heh. Kyoko is pretty good at watching out for herself, you admit, but if she's trying to pick a fight with you then she obviously needs your help. "Calm your tits, I'm not here for grief seeds."
"Really? You're from Mitakihara, right?" You nod. "And since Mami isn't with you right now, I'd guess that the two of you aren't exactly buddy-buddy. And, since Mami doesn't really tolerate magical girls she dislikes, Imma go out on a limb and guess she doesn't want you hunting in Mitakihara, which leaves Kazamino as the obvious choice. Sorry, but I'm not sharing."
Kyoko crosses her arms, and you raise a solitary eyebrow. "Cool logic," you say. "But I don't need grief seeds." You summon your soul gem in its egg form, showing them the swirling corruption within.
"Oh, holy shit!" exclaims Kyoko, putting a hand in her pocket. "Don't need grief seeds my fucking ass!"
"Agin; tits need to be calm. It's been like this for about a week now, and I've used lots of magic since then. I'm in no danger of going over the edge."
Kyoko stops ruffling through her pockets, but keeps a wary eye on your gem. "Seriously? You've been at full corruption for a week? You… you know that fucks with your head, right?"
You chuckle. "Nah, my head's as fucked with as it can get. This inky shit can't mess me up any worse than I mess myself up."
"You know that's not a good thing, right?"
You shrug. "Honestly, I don't quite care. I can use magic willy-nilly and can't use grief seeds-I've tried, and they don't do anything- so why not take it as the infinite magic that it is?"
Kyoko and Yuma look at each other and shrug. "Well, it is practical," says Kyoko. "Still, most people would be going crazy, having full corruption all the time. You sure you're okay?"
"I already fucking said that. You going to stop asking, or should I get it tattooed to my forehead so I don't have to respond?"
"Oh, aren't you a charmer," Kyoko smirks, walking towards you with what you can only describe as swagger. "Well, if you're going to come into my territory and be a bitch to me, then I figure you owe me a witch hunt. After all, it doesn't cost you anything."
She stops less than a foot in front of you, planting her spear in the ground and leaning on it. "Whaddya say, Matsuda?"
You chuckle, and take the opportunity to blow smoke into her face. "I'm in," you say. "My leg's better, so I think I'll take this opportunity and use it to kick some witch ass."
Yuma walks up behind Kyoko, shaking her head. "You two are so weird," she says. "But Yuma is weird too! Let's hunt a witch!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You stumble out of the barrier, blood-soaked feet nearly slipping on the smooth metal floor. "What the fuck," you say, leaning against the wall and slipping on that as well. "What the fuck was that thing?"
Kyoko doesn't respond, too busy puking her guts out all over the floor. You would join her, but aside from some booze, you don't have anything in your stomach.
"Yuma doesn't know why you're so freaked out!" says the green-haired abomination, somehow unaffected by the horrors of the witch. "Yuma didn't know what she was seeing, so Yuma can't be horrified!"
"You lucky bitch," you say. "Fuck, I'm pretty sure I stabbed an embryo."
"Yuma doesn't know what that is!" says Yuma, dancing in celebration of her ignorance.
"I stabbed a fetus," says Kyoko.
"I got stabbed by a fetus," you say. "I think the fucker had it coming."
"Oh yeah, you got stabbed. How's that wound doing?"
You pry your clothes away from your side, gazing it the wound. "Well, it's just a stomach wound," you say. "I'll be fine."
Kyoko stares at you. "You-but- stomach wounds are the bad kind, right? Cause of all the vital organs in there?"
"Vital, shmital. I can still walk, it can't be that bad."
Kyoko stares at you in horror, and Yuma presses her weird mace thing to your side. "Well, now you don't have any wounds!"
"Still got emotional scars," you say. "I am never eating eggs again."
"Same here," says Kyoko. "Except less never again and more for not for a week or so. That shit was weird."
You de-transform, school clothes replacing your magical girl outfit, and then transform again. "It's a trick I learned," you explain. "Your outfit's always clean when you summon it."
"Yeah, but you're still covered in blood," Kyoko points out. True enough, the blood covering your body is beginning to seep into your costume, undoing your seconds of hard work.
"Hmm," you say. "Shit."
Kyoko and Yuma begin chuckling, and Yuma helps Kyoko up. "Heh, I just remembered something," says Kyoko. "Whadid'ya do to piss of Kyubey?"
"I killed him a few times."
Kyoko stares at you. "But.. he's still.."
"He's got spare bodies."
"Oh, of course he does. Because that makes perfect sense."
You pull a pack of smoke out of your shield, lighting one up and offering another to Kyoko. "Yeah, he's a weirdo. Why do you ask?"
"Cause he was warning us about you," she says, declining the cigarette. "Said there was a violent black-haired magical girl out there. Said she was, and I quote, "what you would call batshit insane", so you must have pissed him off a ton."
You shrug. "Guess death will do that to a guy...thing." You lean against the wall, letting smoke drift out of your mouth as you look out over the skyline. "Well, I guess this is where I say goodbye," you say. "See you later. And hey, if you want to hunt a witch again, I wouldn't say no."
Kyoko smiles, pressing the newly-acquired grief seed to her soul gem. "As much as this hunt was awful and traumatizing, I wouldn't be against hunting with you again. You're a cool girl, Chiaki."
Aw shit, she's not supposed to like you! Fuck, you have to stop that!
"Uhh, you're both fucking losers!" you say, panic evident in your voice. "You suck, you smell bad, and you make shitty pancakes!" You run out of the room, feeling their confused stares on your back. "But remember, I still want to hunt with you! Call me!"
You think that went well.
------------------------------------
You putter around the streets of Mitakihara, squinting at the building numbers in the dim light of the sunset. Your apartment should be right around… ah, there it is! You stop the motorcycle, stuffing it back into your shield as you walk into the building. It takes almost a minute to find and use all the keys, enter the passcode, and open the door, but you're eventually rewarded with the familiar scent of booze and munitions. It's not exactly a pleasant smell, but it's your home.
You kick the door shut, striding over to The Chair and pulling a bottle of Kong out of your shield. Today was a productive day, and a glass (which will quickly become a bottle, you know yourself) of your favorite whiskey is just the way to end your day.
You take a sip, relishing the burn in your throat and the silence of your apartment.
Beep-beep-beep
That is not silence.
Your eyes flash open, and your gaze darts around the room. There's a- fuck, a bomb on the roof above the door, with a blinking red light counting down to zero
00:02
You can hear a faint beeping from beneath you, probably attached to the chair. You leap out of it, sprinting towards the window, and-shit, there's a bomb there as well! Plastic explosives, no timer so probably a motion sensor for if you try to leave via the window.
Shit, shit, shit!
You entered through the door, so the bomb there can't be motion-sensitive. You can leave through there and hunt down whoever planted the bombs but you're out of time, the counter is down to 1 and you won't be fast enough to get out before it explodes and turns you and your soul into a shiny purple paste, you won't be able to get out in-
In time. You need more time.
When you woke up in this world, you had decided not to use your timestop. It was the only way Pinky had ever been able to affect anything, and you were in no hurry to bring her here. You were trying to stop her existence, after all, and even if she had no problem with that she was still completely insane.
But if the only other option is your death…
You tend to fuck things up more than you help, you know, but you still don't know how Pinky came to being, and whoever's trying to kill you is still out there. No one else knows about either of those threats, so if you die-
Then you failed.
You are many things, but you are not a quitter.
You turn your shield, and run. The world turns grey, noise and color faded. You pull a shotgun out of your shield, blasting the door out of the way and crashing through its remains.
You slam your shield back in place, and life jolts back into the world.
00:00
You don't believe in any God, but as the world goes black you pray that Pinky hasn't had time to meddle.
"What was it you said, Homura-chan? Oh right!"
"You don't know how long I've waited for this."
"That's like asking how many styles of architecture this shitty city uses," you say. "Cause the answer's a fucking lot."
Somehow, this does nothing to ease Sayaka's anger. "No!" she shouts. "Enough with the snarky comments and the fucking insults! Madoka's trying to be nice to you, trying to help you! You have no right to be such a complete and total bitch!"
You raise an eyebrow, taking a drag of your cigarette. "Are you done?"
This only serves to infuriate her even further. She stomps up to where you are, stopping not even a foot in front of you. "I'm being serious," she says. "What. The fuck. Is wrong with you! What are you trying to do? Or do you not even have a game plan, you're just naturally unbearable?"
"Got it in… two? Three? Well, it took you a few guesses, but you got it."
"Seriously? That's your answer? "Oh, I'm just a bitch," nothing else? Don't fucking lie to me, transfer student."
Okay, what is her problem? You feel your arms shaking, anger building. "That's my answer, Blueberry. Take it or leave it, I don't care which."
"No, I won't! I'm not leaving until I know what your fucking problem is with Madoka, and with me, and, hell, with everything!"
"Okay, cool. That's fine by me. Stay here as long as you want."
"What, you think I'm kidding? I'm fine with missing class, if that's what it takes."
You chuckle, blowing smoke into Sayaka's face. "Again, I don't care. It doesn't matter how long you stay here, because I'm leaving." Sayaka blinks, and you relish the look of shock on her face. "Yeah, that's the thing with roofs, dumbass. I can leave whenever the fuck I feel like. So stand here all you want, I couldn't care less."
You stand up, testing your bad leg. You feel a twinge of pain when you put your weight on it, but it seems like it's almost fully healed. You move to go around Sayaka, but she steps to the side, once again getting in your way.
"Transfer Student," she says, voice shaking. "Would it kill you to just explain stuff? You were a total bitch yesterday, but you tried to help us! You saved our lives!"
"And now you're right in my face," you say. "No good deed goes unpunished, and all that."
"So what the fuck changed, transfer student?" Sayaka continues ignoring your comment. "Why'd you go from snarky comments while you saved our asses and explained the system to full-blown hostility?"
"Let me ask you a question of my own," you say. "Why the fuck do you care?"
"Why do I care?" says Sayaka, indignant. "Why do I care that you made my best friend cry? Why do I care that you're a rude drunkard when you could be a fucking hero? Why do-"
"You're a fucking idiot. Me? A hero? What a joke."
"Transfer student, you saved our lives! If you hadn't been there, we would be dead!"
"If you can become magical girls, Kyubey would have made contracts with the both of you. Now get out of my way."
You step to the side, and Sayaka follows suit. "Weren't you just going on about how being a magical girl is a death sentence?"
"Someone else would have come along," you reply, patience thinning.
"Then where were they, huh?" Sayaka spreads her arms out. "Just admit that you saved our lives, Transfer Student. How is that so hard?"
"Because it's not true!" you say. "Because I'm not a fucking hero, which you can't seem to get through your thick fucking skull. Now get out of my way!"
"Not until you answer my question!"
You grind your teeth together, face twisting into a snarl. Well, if this dumb sack of shit wants to know, why not just tell her?
"You know what I want?" you say. "I just want to be left alone. I just want you and Madoka and whoever that green bitch is to leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you, or have lunch with you, or be your fucking playmate. I just want to lie down and get drunk and hate my fucking life, but you can't even allow me that! You need to be my friend, and talk with me, and all that menial, pointless, bullshit that I fucking hate!"
Sayaka tries to interject, but you keep yelling. "And if you keep trying to talk to me, then I'll just shoot you and be done with it! Do I make myself clear?"
Sayaka swallows. "Transfer Student..."
"Now, are you going to get out of my way?"
Sayaka stares at you, maintain eye contact as she takes a deep breath. "T-Transfer Student," she eventually says. "I… I'm not going to just leave you-"
"Okay," you say. Sayaka blinks and you step forward, putting your weight on your forward foot as you drive your fist into her stomach. She lets out a strangled gasp, collapsing onto her knees and clutching her stomach.
"Let me be clear," you say, raising your voice to be heard over Sayaka's shaky gasps. "I just want to be left alone. Don't try to talk to me, or be friends with me, or any of that, or I'll be more than happy to do this again." You walk away, stopping in front of Madoka. She looks at you with… you're not sure what it is, exactly. Some odd mix of fear, pity, and concern.
Well, you don't care how she looks at you, as long as she leaves you alone. It'll be better for the both of you, that way. Though if she's kind enough to still be concerned with you… Well, might as well finish the job.
"You're fucking pathetic," you say. "Both of you. You're stupid, and naive, and I want no part in your stupid lives."
"Y-you, fucking…" Sayaka trails off, taking another shaky breath. "W-what, are you too good to hang with us normal people? Do we not deserve you?"
You chuckle, a sardonic smile twisting its way to your face. "Yeah, I guess you're right," you say. "You don't deserve me."
You doubt they catch the wordplay- actually, it would be pretty bad for you if they did- but you've always been your most loyal audience. Still smiling, you make your way to the door that leads down into the school.
It only takes a few minutes to leave the school, find a decently-hidden place, and transform into your magical girl outfit. As you take out a motorcycle, your stupid mind can't help but drift back to your conversation with Sayaka.
It went… well, you guess? Sayaka and Madoka won't be inviting you out to lunch anytime soon, so you guess the mission was accomplished. But then again, what is your mission? You want to stop shit from going wrong, whatever it is that turns Madoka into Pinky. You don't want to fuck things even more, which you would do if people got attached to you.
So, essentially, you want to help Madoka and Mami and Kyoko without them coming to like you. The last part should be easy, given your you-ness, but how the fuck do you help people if you're busy pushing them away?
If you succeed at pushing them away- and really, you're pretty skilled in that- then they won't listen to you or let you help them. So, what do you do?
Well, the obvious choice is to try and strike a balance; be just enough of a bitch that no one starts to like you, without being so awful as to drive them away entirely. You.. might have failed that last bit, what with punching Sayaka in the stomach and whatnot. Heh. Just like you to fuck up a plan before you even make it.
You ride along, crossing bridges and intersections as you once again muse about your future. It's probably irresponsible of you to plot while driving, but you can't find it within yourself to care.
The metropolitan skyline fades away and reappears, and you find yourself in Mitakihara's neighboring city, Kazamino. It's just like Mitakihara, all giant skyscrapers and towering structures, and it's just as shitty a place to live. Honestly, how do people do it? Do they live in the pointy bits that stick out of every fucking building? Questions for another time.
"Oy, Matsuda!" A loud voice from above breaks you out of your musing. You recognize it as belonging to Kyoko, and a quick glance upwards confirms it. She's sitting on the edge of one of the smaller alcoves. Yuma's sitting next to her, kicking her legs back and forth. Well, you suppose you should join them.
You slip off the bike, noticing with an iota of pride that your leg doesn't twinge in pain. Deciding to make use of your now-functional leg, you immediately proceed to do one of the dumbest things possible, and try to jump over a building.
Rather predictably, you fail, but you haven't got this far by expecting things to work out for you. You land on a fire escape, and make the much more tedious journey up from there.
Kyoko and Yuma are staring at you as you climb over the edge of the roof with looks of exasperated confusion.
"Sup," you say.
"You know, that was almost impressive," says Kyoko. "But then you failed miserably, and it went back to being impressively bad."
"I'm not a fucking ballerina."
Yuma turns her head, looking between you and Kyoko in confusion. "W-What do ballerinas have to do with this? Do tutus make them fly! Oh, Yuma knew they could fly!"
"No, Yuma, they can't fly," says Kyoko. "And Chiaki, stop putting weird ideas into Yuma's head. She's small, if she gets filled with any more weirdness she'll explode. Probably burst in rainbows and shit, too."
You chuckle, and pull out a cigarette. Remember, you have to be enough of a bitch that they don't get attached to you, but not so much that they stop you from helping them.
"So, what did you fuckos want?" you ask.
"Well, I was wondering what you're doing in my territory. I can get why you'd go to Hanegawa's- that place is fucking amazing- but if you're here for witches, I'll have to ask you to leave."
Heh. Kyoko is pretty good at watching out for herself, you admit, but if she's trying to pick a fight with you then she obviously needs your help. "Calm your tits, I'm not here for grief seeds."
"Really? You're from Mitakihara, right?" You nod. "And since Mami isn't with you right now, I'd guess that the two of you aren't exactly buddy-buddy. And, since Mami doesn't really tolerate magical girls she dislikes, Imma go out on a limb and guess she doesn't want you hunting in Mitakihara, which leaves Kazamino as the obvious choice. Sorry, but I'm not sharing."
Kyoko crosses her arms, and you raise a solitary eyebrow. "Cool logic," you say. "But I don't need grief seeds." You summon your soul gem in its egg form, showing them the swirling corruption within.
"Oh, holy shit!" exclaims Kyoko, putting a hand in her pocket. "Don't need grief seeds my fucking ass!"
"Agin; tits need to be calm. It's been like this for about a week now, and I've used lots of magic since then. I'm in no danger of going over the edge."
Kyoko stops ruffling through her pockets, but keeps a wary eye on your gem. "Seriously? You've been at full corruption for a week? You… you know that fucks with your head, right?"
You chuckle. "Nah, my head's as fucked with as it can get. This inky shit can't mess me up any worse than I mess myself up."
"You know that's not a good thing, right?"
You shrug. "Honestly, I don't quite care. I can use magic willy-nilly and can't use grief seeds-I've tried, and they don't do anything- so why not take it as the infinite magic that it is?"
Kyoko and Yuma look at each other and shrug. "Well, it is practical," says Kyoko. "Still, most people would be going crazy, having full corruption all the time. You sure you're okay?"
"I already fucking said that. You going to stop asking, or should I get it tattooed to my forehead so I don't have to respond?"
"Oh, aren't you a charmer," Kyoko smirks, walking towards you with what you can only describe as swagger. "Well, if you're going to come into my territory and be a bitch to me, then I figure you owe me a witch hunt. After all, it doesn't cost you anything."
She stops less than a foot in front of you, planting her spear in the ground and leaning on it. "Whaddya say, Matsuda?"
You chuckle, and take the opportunity to blow smoke into her face. "I'm in," you say. "My leg's better, so I think I'll take this opportunity and use it to kick some witch ass."
Yuma walks up behind Kyoko, shaking her head. "You two are so weird," she says. "But Yuma is weird too! Let's hunt a witch!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You stumble out of the barrier, blood-soaked feet nearly slipping on the smooth metal floor. "What the fuck," you say, leaning against the wall and slipping on that as well. "What the fuck was that thing?"
Kyoko doesn't respond, too busy puking her guts out all over the floor. You would join her, but aside from some booze, you don't have anything in your stomach.
"Yuma doesn't know why you're so freaked out!" says the green-haired abomination, somehow unaffected by the horrors of the witch. "Yuma didn't know what she was seeing, so Yuma can't be horrified!"
"You lucky bitch," you say. "Fuck, I'm pretty sure I stabbed an embryo."
"Yuma doesn't know what that is!" says Yuma, dancing in celebration of her ignorance.
"I stabbed a fetus," says Kyoko.
"I got stabbed by a fetus," you say. "I think the fucker had it coming."
"Oh yeah, you got stabbed. How's that wound doing?"
You pry your clothes away from your side, gazing it the wound. "Well, it's just a stomach wound," you say. "I'll be fine."
Kyoko stares at you. "You-but- stomach wounds are the bad kind, right? Cause of all the vital organs in there?"
"Vital, shmital. I can still walk, it can't be that bad."
Kyoko stares at you in horror, and Yuma presses her weird mace thing to your side. "Well, now you don't have any wounds!"
"Still got emotional scars," you say. "I am never eating eggs again."
"Same here," says Kyoko. "Except less never again and more for not for a week or so. That shit was weird."
You de-transform, school clothes replacing your magical girl outfit, and then transform again. "It's a trick I learned," you explain. "Your outfit's always clean when you summon it."
"Yeah, but you're still covered in blood," Kyoko points out. True enough, the blood covering your body is beginning to seep into your costume, undoing your seconds of hard work.
"Hmm," you say. "Shit."
Kyoko and Yuma begin chuckling, and Yuma helps Kyoko up. "Heh, I just remembered something," says Kyoko. "Whadid'ya do to piss of Kyubey?"
"I killed him a few times."
Kyoko stares at you. "But.. he's still.."
"He's got spare bodies."
"Oh, of course he does. Because that makes perfect sense."
You pull a pack of smoke out of your shield, lighting one up and offering another to Kyoko. "Yeah, he's a weirdo. Why do you ask?"
"Cause he was warning us about you," she says, declining the cigarette. "Said there was a violent black-haired magical girl out there. Said she was, and I quote, "what you would call batshit insane", so you must have pissed him off a ton."
You shrug. "Guess death will do that to a guy...thing." You lean against the wall, letting smoke drift out of your mouth as you look out over the skyline. "Well, I guess this is where I say goodbye," you say. "See you later. And hey, if you want to hunt a witch again, I wouldn't say no."
Kyoko smiles, pressing the newly-acquired grief seed to her soul gem. "As much as this hunt was awful and traumatizing, I wouldn't be against hunting with you again. You're a cool girl, Chiaki."
Aw shit, she's not supposed to like you! Fuck, you have to stop that!
"Uhh, you're both fucking losers!" you say, panic evident in your voice. "You suck, you smell bad, and you make shitty pancakes!" You run out of the room, feeling their confused stares on your back. "But remember, I still want to hunt with you! Call me!"
You think that went well.
------------------------------------
You putter around the streets of Mitakihara, squinting at the building numbers in the dim light of the sunset. Your apartment should be right around… ah, there it is! You stop the motorcycle, stuffing it back into your shield as you walk into the building. It takes almost a minute to find and use all the keys, enter the passcode, and open the door, but you're eventually rewarded with the familiar scent of booze and munitions. It's not exactly a pleasant smell, but it's your home.
You kick the door shut, striding over to The Chair and pulling a bottle of Kong out of your shield. Today was a productive day, and a glass (which will quickly become a bottle, you know yourself) of your favorite whiskey is just the way to end your day.
You take a sip, relishing the burn in your throat and the silence of your apartment.
Beep-beep-beep
That is not silence.
Your eyes flash open, and your gaze darts around the room. There's a- fuck, a bomb on the roof above the door, with a blinking red light counting down to zero
00:02
You can hear a faint beeping from beneath you, probably attached to the chair. You leap out of it, sprinting towards the window, and-shit, there's a bomb there as well! Plastic explosives, no timer so probably a motion sensor for if you try to leave via the window.
Shit, shit, shit!
You entered through the door, so the bomb there can't be motion-sensitive. You can leave through there and hunt down whoever planted the bombs but you're out of time, the counter is down to 1 and you won't be fast enough to get out before it explodes and turns you and your soul into a shiny purple paste, you won't be able to get out in-
In time. You need more time.
When you woke up in this world, you had decided not to use your timestop. It was the only way Pinky had ever been able to affect anything, and you were in no hurry to bring her here. You were trying to stop her existence, after all, and even if she had no problem with that she was still completely insane.
But if the only other option is your death…
You tend to fuck things up more than you help, you know, but you still don't know how Pinky came to being, and whoever's trying to kill you is still out there. No one else knows about either of those threats, so if you die-
Then you failed.
You are many things, but you are not a quitter.
You turn your shield, and run. The world turns grey, noise and color faded. You pull a shotgun out of your shield, blasting the door out of the way and crashing through its remains.
You slam your shield back in place, and life jolts back into the world.
00:00
You don't believe in any God, but as the world goes black you pray that Pinky hasn't had time to meddle.
"What was it you said, Homura-chan? Oh right!"
"You don't know how long I've waited for this."
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HymnOfRagnarok
Let's Rock
Honestly if this was meant to kill Chiaki, it was a crappy plan for both of them. I mean it's dramatic and all but if you can get a bomb right above Chiaki's door and the best you can do is a beeping countdown instead of, say, trigger it upon opening the door, goddamn.
Kyuubey can definitely do better than this. I mean if he's out to get you, teleporting bombs into your room at will is trivial. We see him teleport himself. Oriko...less resources, more able to guarantee a kill.
Honestly? This set-up makes me think this is an Oriko plot, and she deliberately set Chiaki up to use her Time Stop. Not sure why she chose to do it, but the two most likely suspects can do a much better job than this if they really want someone dead.
