Legends: A Story of Lies [Star vs. The Forces of Evil x Gravity Falls x MultiCross]

[The Ero-Sennin]

= - = 3-7 = - =

|One Week|​

In the backyard of Shermie's home, Dipper, Mabel, and Misao sat on one side of a white picnic table Shermie kept in the backyard for barbecues and other social events. On the other, Drew, Jo, and Star sat. Janna was standing at the end of the table between Drew and Dipper. Mabel, at her brother's side, was putting the finishing touches on cleaning and dressing the cut on the side of Dipper's head from the boot to it he received at the scrapyard, when the back patio door opened and Marco and Roland walked out to join them.

Star looked back and sprang to her feet. "Marco!"

She stopped when she saw the weary disappointment on his face and looked between him and Roland. "What happened?"

"We can talk about it later," Marco said as he walked over to the other end of the table.

Roland agreed with a nod as he joined Drew's side and rested a hand on the tabletop. He took a second to look again and noticed that both Mabel and Misao looked like they'd been swimming in the last hour–their respective clothes and their makeup smudged and smeared. They also appeared to be covered in bruises, like they'd been in a fight wherever they had been swimming.

"Jeez, did everyone have a messed up day today?" He asked.

"We can talk about that later, too," Misao seethed.

Star looked contrite for such a manic girl. "I am so sorry, really! I didn't expect that to happen."

Mabel finished wrapping Dipper's crown with bandages. "It's not your fault. There's nothing we can do-"

"But get gruesome revenge on that…" Misao trailed off into muttering in at least three different languages worth of foul words.

His bandaging done, Dipper spoke. "So three kids on dirt bikes jumped Janna and I at the scrapyard and knocked me around a bit. They came after us for no reason and without warning, but they were focused on hurting me–and filming it."

Jo spoke next. "Exactly the same way Lars just strolled in and stuffed Dipper at lunch."

"Once is happenstance, twice is a coincidence," Janna said, "But Big Dippy Style's face isn't that punchable."

"Unless you're Trip Vanderhoff," Drew said.

Marco remembered Trip's screaming and hollering about payback. "Oh, it's definitely him."

"So what are we doing about it, exactly?" Roland asked.

"I'm going to be the better person, ignore the Vanderhoffs' crap and strive to avoid further contact with them," Dipper said sagely.

Roland and Marco both stared at him with unconvinced expressions.

"You got me. Next time I see either of them, I'm kicking their butts up and down the block."

"We are," Mabel corrected him, and Dipper nodded in agreement.

Jo out-stretched her arms onto the table and slouched forward to rest her chin on the painted, polished wood. Her left hand came to rest over Dipper's and patted it as she closed her eyes and sighed. "We're catching haters like a frog catches flies."

"And they're already getting in the way of more important stuff," Drew added. "We can't be fighting off the Vanderhoffs on one side of things while dealing with the Magnavores on the other."

Especially if someone going after Dipper could ambush him without any warning or notice. That could make for an awkward or even dangerous situation for them if they decided to spring on him while they were after a Magnavore. The security of the Beetleborgs' identity was at risk too, with that thought in mind.

Weighing on those thoughts, Roland spoke. "We need to avoid situations where Dipper can get jumped, and I don't know… maybe try to deter that?"

"This is America, is it not?" Misao asked. "Why not get a gun?"

"Because the first thing I need is to pull a gun on obnoxiously rich people and give them an excuse to call their police dogs on me."

Misao winced, while Janna slid off the table's edge and turned around to face everyone. "I have an idea."

She gestured to Dipper, then over to Marco. "Why don't you two start hanging out more?"

Mabel brightened. "Yeah! Marco can be like… Dipper's bodyguard!"

"Whoa, bodyguard? Me?" Marco asked.

Star bounced in place. "Yeah, and those guys are pretty scared of me! If both of us are around Dipper, then they won't mess with him!"

"And if anyone thinks they can do it for them, they'll be in for a bad time," Janna finished.

Dipper turned his head and looked at Marco, who was certainly thinking about the idea, too. Jo, on the other hand, was skeptical.

"It'd be easier if they went to class together, but they don't," she pointed out.

Janna smirked. "Come now, Jojo, you can guard his body, too."

Jo broke into a small, triumphant smile. "I see nothing wrong with this strategy."

Dipper slowly moved his hand from under Jo's. "Thinking about it, though. There's another good reason for why I should hang out with Star and Marco more. At least in public." He looked at Drew, Jo, and Roland. "And why we all need to be seen less with you."

Jo sat up. "What? Why?"

Drew got it in an instant. "Protecting our secret identities."

Roland agreed. "Yeah, if people keep seeing Star and Marco with us, then seeing Star and Marco with the Beetleborgs, it won't take much to put it together."

"Actually rolling as a group in public has to stop," Dipper began.

Mabel held up her phone. "But that doesn't mean we can't stay in touch! Or hang out here, or at Hillhurst!"

Jo pouted but accepted the wisdom of the move. "We can still hang out incidentally, right? And I'll watch your back in class?"

"Of course," Dipper said.

"Then once again I see nothing wrong with this strategy." Jo stopped. "Wait, what about going to the dojo? Both Marco and I will be there…"

Roland grimaced, but Marco took over. "No we won't." When everyone looked at him, he dropped the news. "I quit the dojo today."

Star gasped. "What happened?!"

Marco glanced at Jo, before he spoke. "Brantley didn't want me to become his assistant, but he didn't have the nerve to just say it. He put me through all that crap this morning, so I'd give up on the red belt."

Jo slammed her fist on the table, thankfully not breaking it. "Fuck that son of a bitch!"

"… Oh my God," Drew muttered. "That's… unsettlingly familiar…" He trailed off.

Marco sighed. "On the bright side, I can teach you guys whatever anytime. I definitely know more than what a Green Belt is supposed to–oof!"

Star's hug knocked the breath out of him, and its tightness made it almost difficult to get it back. She leaned into him and rested the side of her head against his. "… Karate meant so much to you, I'm so sorry that happened…"

Marco returned the hug and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Thanks, Star."

"I can go find him and avenge you, if you want," she suggested.

"No." Marco shook his head. "He's not worth it."

Mabel joined in the hug, Misao coming around the other side and hugging him, too. As he found himself trapped between three different girls, he looked back and forth between each–from down at Misao to up at Mabel. "No offense but you're all kind of… damp?"

"The sprinklers at the Bounce Lounge went off," Mabel said.

Misao growled. "Because an idiot started himself on fire."

"Geez… I'm sorry," he murmured back.

Dipper drummed his fingers on the table. "To think it's only our first week here."

"Our first week all knowing each other," Roland said.

"The first week as superheroes," Jo added as she brushed her fingers against Dipper's.

Drew looked at the girls hugging Marco, Jo trying to get in contact with Dipper, then Janna smiling at it all like it was part of some grand plan–and realized that it was. "So what? It's not going to get easier, but we are going to get better… and we're not alone for this fight."

Dipper perked up. "… Yeah."

The other girls all looked back at the table, but Star remained embracing Marco.

"That's right," Mabel agreed. "We're all in this together!"

Misao nodded. "Even if we all can't fight, we can do something… and the very least is be there for each other to lean on."

"And to stick up for," Roland added.

"And protect, too." Marco spoke.

"It's because of that, that I think we'll win." Drew said. "Not just against the Magnavores but against anyone else who messes with us. Even as sloppy and new we are at this, we don't give up… and when we're together we're unstoppable."

Janna gave Drew a light punch in the arm. "Well said, Sad Kid."

"Yeah," Jo agreed, "Way to remember that the Blue Stingerborg makes all the good speeches."

Drew let out a small laugh and rubbed the back of his head. "I just thought it'd be nice to say, you know?"

Mabel decided then it was time to do one better. "You know what we should do while we're all here? A… party!"

Misao agreed. "Ja, anything to wash the taste of the Bounce Lounge out of my mouth!"

Star gasped and pulled back from Marco. "That'd be fine, right?"

Marco's smile was small, but it was there. "Yeah, let's end today on a high note."

Dipper got up. "I'll go talk to Shermie about getting some food. We all had Pizza yesterday…"

"How about barbecue? I know a place," Roland said.

Marco's smile slipped into a smirk. "Do you think we can get a discount if we mention that we know Nano's grandson?"

Roland laughed. "Man, step off with that junk…"

It took a while, but the long disastrous day was left behind. By the end of the evening at the home of Shermie Pines, there was nothing but loud music and laughter as the teens brought together by happenstance and fate took comfort in their bonds. The bonds that would help them for the trouble that was soon to arrive.

@@@@@​

In the hills on the northern edge of Echo Creek, were the mansions of town's wealthier residents. Here lived the likes of Jeremy Birnbaum, Brittney Wong, and of course the Vanderhoff brothers, who were comfortably hanging out by their in-ground pool, a pit fire burning between them. Van played video games on a hologram projection television, while Trip sat on the edge of the pool, dipping his big toe into the water idly. Like most days, the boys were on their own at the house with the help–their father was out of the state, maybe even the country, and neither had seen their mothers since the last divorce.

"Say, have you heard anything from those old friends of yours?" Trip asked as he dipped his toe in the water and held it there.

Van could not tear his attention from the game. "What, you mean Topher and those guys? Nah, I didn't hear anything since they said they saw Pine Tree by the track with that creepy witch chick."

"You think they got him?" Trip removed his toe from the water.

"Topher said he'd film it. I told them to mess him up as hard as they could, even if they put him in the hospital, so we're gonna get some good shots."

Trip chuckled. "Paying people to get mad for us. Why didn't I think of doing this sooner? As long as they sign the contract and take the money, we can hire whoever we want to bully Pine Tree for us, and we can just watch and laugh." He dipped his whole foot in the water. "Even better, that idiot probably has no idea why people are after him. He must be so scared and confused."

"If he's even conscious right now. Topher said he was gonna do a burnout on his nuts."

Trip burst into full-on laughter. "Oh man, I hope they filmed that!"

Van pumped his fist as the game he played ended with his victory. "After this, wanna hire someone to go after McCormick?"

"Andrew? Oh yeah. Maybe we could hire a guy to steal his bike and throw it into the river."

Van hummed. "Maybe someone to break into his house and steal his comics."

Trip had it. "I know. Hire a girl to pretend to be interested in him, and then lead him someplace we can beat him up."

Van thought about that. "I think I know some girls who'd be down for that." He pulled out his phone and looked at it. "I've been posting around on Insta for people who wanna jump in on the fun, and there've been a lot of hits."

Dudley shuffled his way over and cleared his throat. Trip looked over at him, with mild irritation. "What Demetrius?"

"Dudley, sir," the butler corrected. "A Mister Topher, and a Mister Caleb are here to see you, sirs."

Van hopped up onto his feet, excited. "Sweet, they're here."

Trip got up from the pool edge and Dudley skedaddled out of the way, as two young men still wearing their motocross gear, marched out of the house and over to the poolside. The boy who led the attack on Dipper–Topher–had dark brown hair with matching eyes, and his face was twisted in anger as he marched up to Van and shoved him back hard.

"You set us up, you piece of garbage!" He yelled at Van as the larger of the Vanderhoffs stumbled back.

Van recoiled, and when Topher attempted to push him again, he pushed back harder. "Huh? No I didn't!"

"Blaine's in the hospital missing like half his teeth because you said Pine Tree was a joke!" Topher yelled. "And now the track is freakin' gone, too!"

Van tried to process that. "What do you mean it's gone?!"

"Because Pine Tree's friends with Nano, you tool! You didn't tell us that either! She told the manager to bury the track and they did! They chased us all out of there and knocked like fifty tons of cars onto it!"

"What was Nano even doing there?" Van asked.

"I don't know! She came out of nowhere and snatched me off my bike!"

The other motocrosser, a lighter haired, brown eyed boy named Caleb, spoke up. "She's gonna tell our parents, man! If I go home, I'm dead!"

Trip grunted in annoyance. "That freakin' old bag needs to mind her own business." On that note. "So what do you two want?"

"For you to pay up now!" Topher yelled at him. "My parents won't wreck my face if I can at least show them some money."

Trip rolled his eyes. "Sure, whatever. Dolby, cut 'em a check."

"As you wish," Dudley said, pulling out a checkbook.

Trip glowered at Topher and Caleb. "You at least did it, right?"

Topher turned to face him fully. "What? Did you not hear what I said? Pine Tree shot Blaine in the face with a harpoon gun or something, then Nano showed up and wouldn't let us near him!"

Anger flashed in Trip's eyes. "Droopy, burn that check."

Ripping off the check, Dudley tossed it into a fire pit.

Topher exploded. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

"I don't pay people for doing nothing," Trip said in a flat voice. "If you can't do something as easy as beat up a stupid nerd, then you should be paying me for the time you wasted."

Topher growled and lunged to grab Trip, only for Van to step in and shove him to the ground at Caleb's feet. The motocross boy got up and pulled a knife from his boot.

Both Trip and Van recoiled at the sight of the glinting steel. Caleb himself raised his hands in fright. "Whoa, wait!"

Topher ignored him and brandished the knife and began stomping towards the brothers. "You think you're gonna screw us over, you jackass?! Screw you!"

CLACK!

The sound of wood hitting stone stopped everyone.

CLACK!

Both Vanderhoffs and the Motocross boys looked around, then saw the source of the sound.

CLACK!

Sitting on an empty lawn chair by the pool was an african american teenager wearing a white t-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, dark colored hiking boots, and a cream-colored bucket hat whose brim fell over his eyes. He was beating against the ground a long wooden sword coated in a black lacquer. At the end of its hilt a pink string was bound tightly around it, and at the end of the strings dangled miniature figures of a wolf and an imp.

Topher lowered the knife and stared at him. "Who the heck are you?"

Trip and Van looked at each other, then the former turned to Dudley. "Did you let this guy in here?"

Dudley shrugged his shoulders.

"Hey," the new arrival spoke in a droning baritone as he struck the tip of the wooden sword against the ground. "You're paying five stacks to mess with a dude, right?"

Trip nodded. "Yeah."

Using the sword to push himself up to his feet, the newcomer pointed it at Topher. "I'll kick his ass for fifty bucks."

Topher faced him. "What?"

"Do it!" Trip shouted.

The newcomer took the wooden sword in both hands. "Bet."

Before Topher could speak or move, the newcomer sprinted at him and swung the bokken into his stomach. The blow folded the dirt biker in half right over the wooden blade, knocking the wind, spit, and taste out of his mouth. His assailant lifted his blade and swung it and Topher around to throw at Caleb's feet, the other biker jumping back in fright.

"Uhhhhngh…!" Topher groaned and began coughing heavily as he clutched his stomach. Trip and his brother stared in silence–both slow to register the feat of speed and strength that laid him out.

The newcomer rested the wooden sword on his shoulder with one hand, as he reached out with his free hand–gesturing to Trip. "Pay me."

Trip snapped out of his confusion, and barked at Dudley. "Well… pay him!"

Dudley reached into his jacket, and pulled out a billfold. Producing a crisp fifty dollar bill, the old chauffeur placed it in the newcomer's hand.

"Aight." He folded the bill between two fingers and walked over to Topher. Who was clutching his sides. "Hey, is this Pine Tree kid tough, or what?"

"Screw you… ahh… you broke my ribs!" Topher whimpered.

He looked up from him to Caleb. "Well?"

"He had like a harpoon gun. Don't listen to whatever those idiots say!" Caleb pointed at Trip and Van. "That kid won't go down easy."

"Swag." He pointed the wooden sword at Caleb. "Now get the fuck out of here."

Caleb didn't need to be told twice. He helped Topher up and walked him into the house, Dudley following to make sure they left. After they fell out of sight, the newcomer turned to face Trip and Van.

"So, I'm Gabe and I'll kick Pine Tree's ass for a hundred thousand."

Trip stopped. "What?"

"Yo, one hundred thousand or I'm just gonna leave." Gabe pointed to the wall that surrounded the house, the way he got in.

Trip and Van looked at each other again, and Trip answered again. "That's way too much!"

Gabe lowered his sword, resting the tip on the ground. He shrugged his shoulders. "Aight, then I'm gonna go."

Turning around, he walked over to the wall–then stopped and looked back. "But if you change yo mind, catch me on Insta at GHaleyRobbinThem. That's two Bs, no G, nigga."

He haphazardly threw the sword up over the wall, and with a quick run up, scrambled up to the top and vaulted over. From the other side of the wall he called out. "And a capital T! Don't forget that!"

Trip walked back over to the pool and sat down, dropping both his feet into the water. "The heck was that?"

"I don't know," Van replied before he pulled out his phone and began checking his social media. "GHaley…" He stared at the phone, and gave a quick glance at the wall. "… Okay?"

He walked over to Trip and sat down beside him. "Hey, check this out."

He showed his brother the phone, and Trip stared at it. The smaller Vanderhoff's expression cycled through surprise to confusion. "… Huh. Yeah, there's no way I'm paying him a hundred grand to beat up Pine Tree."

With a petulant sniff, Trip leaned back on his hands and looked at the darkening sky, the sun all but below the distant horizon. "It's only been a week. He's not worth that much."

He kicked his feet in the water. "There are plenty of chumps who'll do it for less."

@@@@@​

His regenerative abilities gave Typhus an advantage over Jara and Noxic, who were still recovering and repairing from their injuries after Monday's battle. While they sat in hiding he was free to move around their new domain, do reconnaissance, and even attack his foes alone if he wanted to… if he wanted to. The truth was, Typhus didn't do much by himself, he often refused to outright.

"Baby, this is so boring," he grumbled as he sat hiding atop a building overlooking the expensive Rodeo Drive.

It was well within his power to go and just tear things up, but what was causing mayhem and chaos without his best friends there to cheer him on and for him to hype up? At least he only had a few more days before Jara was on her feet, and once Noxic finished remaking the parts he lost, they'd be the three amigos of anarchy once again.

The power went out on the entire block below. The street lights and the exterior lights of the super expensive shops flickered back on, before they all shut down, plunging the street and Typhus himself into darkness. "Huh."

"Dangerous ones… powerful ones… ssss… this is an interesting world, Master." Snake Head said as his bulky form emerged from the shadows of an air conditioning unit behind him.

"All right!" Typhus cheered, upon seeing Snake Head. "What's up, Snake Head. You got anything for the Big T?"

The snake head dangling off Snake Head's right side hissed aloud. "The humans are dangerous. Some more than others. Clever, strong, powerful. Some are unaware, some hide it, but all hold the potential. Be very careful Master, do not cross the wrong human carelessly."

Typhus snorted. "I've already seen plenty of that, baby. What else you got?"

"I have already found one of the prey… tomorrow I will capture and use it to lure out the others."

Typhus pumped his fists. "All right, I knew I could count on you. Let me know when you're going that way, I'll ride witcha."

"It would be an honor, Master." Snake Head fell silent for a moment, then hissed again. "Tell me, Master. How is it that you have come to the service of Vexor?"

The question perked Typhus up. "Well, you know. The Magnavores ain't the strongest tribe in the Nightmare Realm, but they ain't the dumbest. If you ain't a world eatin' God, you gotta be smart enough to stay outta sight, baby."

"But… ssss… Vexor?"

Typhus waved his creation off. "He thinks too much of himself, but he ain't no fool. If it wasn't for him, I woulda been chopped up into pieces by Nukus."

Snake Head staggered back. "Ssss… Nukus?!"

"Yeah, your Master had a bad day, crossed paths with the Lord of Nightmares himself. Vexor got me out of that jam quick, baby. I've been riding with him, since."

Snake Head fell silent after that, and turned away from Typhus "… Ssss…"

His creation's odd mood didn't escape Typhus. "What is it?"

"Be wary of Vexor, Master. Do not let him hold too great a power over you."

"C'mon, who do you think you're talkin' to? I'm Bio Lord Typhus, I ain't afraid of no space crab with a built in Pope Hat!"

Snake Head's hisses came out sounding like laughter. "Bio Lord?"

"Yeah, that's what they call me in the funny pages, baby!"

Snake Head turned to face him, with a burst of energy. "It suits you, Master! Let us go hunt, and strike terror into the enemies of Bio Lord Typhus!"

Typhus laughed and folded his arms. With a nod, both monsters vanished into flame as the sound of many, many police sirens began to fill the air, converging on Rodeo Drive.

= - = 3-7 = - =​

How many crimes are Trip and Van going to commit just to harass one kid? And will they get away with them?

 

[The Ero-Sennin]

= - = 3-8 = - =

|You are the Prey|​

It was another morning at the Williams home, and Roland came downstairs to find his father and grandmother eating breakfast at the table, while his mother was standing in the archway between the dining room and the living room. Abbie Williams had her hands on her hips and was shaking her head.

"Morning," Roland called.

"Hey son," Aaron greeted.

"Morning, baby," Nano said as she stirred around her bowl of granola cereal and fruit.

Roland saw the breakfast his grandma was eating and gave her a knowing look, before he peered over at the television. The news was showing an aerial shot of some expensive looking shops, and the reporter was talking about LA's long history of high-profile robberies.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Someone robbed a jewelry store on Rodeo," Nano said. "Stole forty million dollars in jewelry just last night."

Roland whistled as he grabbed a pitcher of orange juice and poured himself a glass. "Dang, I hope they have insurance."

"Mmm… they won't after this," Abbie said, before she walked over and kissed Roland on the cheek. "Morning, sweetie. You going to sit down and eat with us?"

"Nah, I'm going over to the park to train with Marco so I'm gonna keep it light." To that effect, he grabbed a waffle and spread some jam over it.

Abbie frowned. "What about the dojo?"

Roland paused. "Uh… well, Marco quit yesterday and since we were only going there to train with him, we all followed."

Nano let out a hum, then got up from her seat. "I'll see you out the door, baby."

With a nod to Nano, Roland bid farewell to his parents and walked with her out onto the porch. Soon as the door shut, Nano turned to her grandson with a concerned look. "What did Brantley do?"

Roland was impressed. "You just knew, huh? He yanked Marco around over his Red Belt, and that's why he quit."

Nano palmed her forehead. "Lord have mercy on that boy, he's a mess. Been a mess since he was in high school, still a mess now if he's acting like he in high school."

That reminded him. "Hey, Nano, did you save Brantley's life or something when he was a kid?"

Nano stared at her Grandson, uncomprehending, before something clicked on in her head. "Oh, oh! He told you about how we met?"

"Yeah, he said he was a gangbanger who got in too much trouble until you saved him."

Nano hummed and shook her head. "I don't remember it happenin' like that. The Brantley I knew was a shy boy who liked to buy anime tapes from my old video store back in the 90s. One day he got picked on by some other kids down by the river, so I told them to knock it off and took him home to his Mama."

Roland slumped his shoulders. "Ugh, I knew it. A loser and a liar."

"Don't be so hard on him," Nano said, "Frankly? For as much of a child that man is, he's kept his dojo goin' all these years and he genuinely loves what he does. That's why I was surprised when you said you were goin' there."

At that, Roland laughed. "The man gives up when he can't get a tape out of a VCR? Or afraid to tell his number one student that he can't promote him to assistant? How can he take the pressure of running a business?"

As soon as he asked that question, he stopped. "… Wait, how does he do that?"

Nano hummed. "Askin' the real questions, baby. Why don't you go an' train with your friend, ol' Nano is going to go see how Brantley's doing and maybe give him some advice."

There were worse things to wish upon someone but getting a firm talking to from Nano was still up there. Roland, however, was fine with condemning Brantley to that fate. Bidding his Nano farewell, he climbed on his bike and headed off.

@@@@@​

Under a tree in Echo Creek Park, Marco adjusted the gray belt of his karate gi's top, checked the sleeves, and dusted the shoulders off. Today was his first day going solo, and he wasn't about to start off on the wrong foot.

"All right Marco," he whispered to himself, "Today you are no longer the student, you are the Sensei. Teach them well, better than you were taught. You can do this."

Space Unicorn~! Soaring through the Stars~!

Marco grabbed his phone and answered it. "Huh? Star? What is it?"

"Hey Marco," Star said with her usual outpouring of energy. "You weren't here when I woke up, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just came to the park to do some training."

"Oh! Oh… okay! I was just wondering if you were okay, have fun training."

Marco smiled. "Thanks."

"Bye!" She ended the call, and Marco looked at his phone with a bemused smile.

Space Unicorn~! Soaring through the Stars!

Marco answered it again. "Star?"

"Did you eat breakfast?" She asked.

"I got some from Britta's on my way here…" Marco replied.

"Right, okay! I'll just um... have breakfast and go hang out with the girls then, bye!" She ended the call again.

Marco stared at the phone, in full confusion.

Space Unicorn~! Soaring through the Stars!

He answered it yet again. "Is something going on?"

"Oh… I um… was just wondering if you had some time to talk, but if you're busy training we can talk later, bye!" Star ended the call abruptly.

He watched his phone, waiting for it to ring again, but this time it didn't. He rolled his eyes and was just about to call her back, when a man dressed as a butler stepped around the tree and pointed a smartphone of his own at him. He stared at the man, who stood there and said nothing otherwise.

Marco saw the red recording light on and put away his phone. "Can I help you?"

"You sure can," Jeremy said as he followed his butler out from behind the tree but kept said butler between him and Marco. "Tell me, Marco, how does it feel to finally overcome your stubbornness and admit to being a loser?"

Marco rolled his eyes and turned away from Jeremy. "Go away, Jeremy."

Jeremy smiled, a rich condescending expression as he walked around him and into the camera shot. "Come on, the world wants to know. Seven years at the dojo, five of them as a green belt, what made it all worth throwing away?"

"None of your business," Marco toned back. He had half a mind to leave if he wasn't waiting for Drew, Jo, and Roland. "Who even told you that I quit?"

"Ap-ap-ap-ap… this is your interview, not mine." Jeremy said. "Come on, give us something, Marco. What was it like to realize just how lame you are, and that everything you do is for nothing because you're a giant dork who can't even beat an eight year old?"

Jeremy turned and looked at the camera. "By the way, ladies? He's got no girlfriend. No game to get one, either."

Marco's expression darkened, and he faced the child with the same calm glower he stared down Jara with when she threatened to kill Star. "It's not can't. I won't beat up an eight year old."

Jeremy paused. "What?"

"You're eight, Jeremy. I'm not allowed to hit you because you're half my age. If I hit you even once I'd kill you."

Jeremy Birnbaum recoiled from Marco, the words swinging into him like a hammer straight into the bell of his young ego. "Wh-what? No! I can beat you up, I have beaten you up!"

"Every time we fought I held back." Marco looked at his phone, still opened on Star in his contact list. "And honestly? Now that I'm not at the school anymore, I don't have to do that, or care what you think or do."

The response threw Jeremy completely off. Marco was supposed to be yelling at him, grinding his teeth, flailing to get him to go away and leave him alone. "H-hey. You're the one who quit the school, you're a quitter… doesn't that mean anything? How are you going to be anything if you quit, huh?"

Marco stared at Jeremy, the kid looked angry that he wasn't taking the bait. "Buzz off, kid."

Jeremy seethed and assumed a fighting stance. "Fight me, Marco! I'll show you!"

Marco spun around in place and swung a kick into the tree beside him, hitting it so hard that the trunk visibly shook and the tree's leaves loudly rustled overhead. Jeremy hopped back, his eyes wide at the sight of the deep crack Marco's shin left in the side of the trunk. Pulling his leg free of the cracked and splintered wood, Marco turned to Jeremy and glared down at him.

"That's how hard I will hit you, if you don't leave me alone."

Internally Marco screamed because of how much it stung, but he had to maintain his glare.

Jeremy looked at the crack in the tree, then at Marco. His left eyelid spasmed, as his mind tried to grasp how hard the older boy would've had to hit the tree to do that. When Marco faked a lunge towards Jeremy, the eight year old yelped in fear and stumbled back, falling against his butler's leg. To his merit, the butler didn't seem affected in the slightest.

"Now, if you don't have anything else to say…" Marco trailed off, as the head of a giant snake descended from the tree directly above the heads of Jeremy and his Butler. First staring down at the two below it, the snake's tongue slithered from its mouth to taste the air, before rising up to point at Marco.

That's a giant snake. Marco thought.

Its eyes gleamed.

That's the giant snake! Marco thought, with much greater alarm as the gleam turned into a glow.

Both Jeremy and his butler noticed Marco's attention drift upward and looked up together to see the giant snake looming just over them. Jeremy's eyes grew wide and sparkly at the sight of the biggest reptile he'd ever seen, while his Butler had a more reasonable reaction, shrieking like a hysterical woman and running for his life.

Marco jumped hard to his left, away from the tree and out of the path of the two solid beams of light that fired from the snake's eyes and scorched the grass for a meters long line.

The snake dropped down from the tree in front of Jeremy, the kid watching in amazement as it slithered after Marco at high speed, its long body undulating behind it. Mouth opening and long venomous fangs bared, the snake lunged for Marco, who once again sidestepped to avoid it by the barest margin.

"Whoa!" Marco turned around and jumped into a backflip to avoid the snake's fangs as it came around. Landing on the other side of its body, he ducked down when the tail came up and lashed for his chest. "Ah!"

The snake came for him fangs first as he crouched, but he sprang high, stepping on the snake's head and leaping off it to somersault through the air and land facing the snake.

Marco looked up at the snake as it reared its head and hissed loudly. "Okay… found the giant snake…"

"Ssss… I've found you… prey…" The snake hissed back.

Jeremy's eyes were glimmering like diamonds. "IT TALKS?!"

Marco looked at Jeremy. "You need to leave!"

The snake attacked again, biting at him. He dipped clear of it, but rather than follow through the snake pulled back to bite at him again. Marco kept rolling and juking, staying a margin away from the snake that thinned with every bite.

"Yeah! Get him! Bite his arm off!" Jeremy yelled before Marco punished one more failed bite with a powerful vertical chop that drove the snake's head into the ground. "Aw!"

The snake's undulating body thrashed as it brought its head out of the ground, one of its coils slamming into Marco and pushing him back. He only just regained his footing when the snake fired its eye lasers again, and Marco dove out of the way into a roll.

The boy pointed and laughed. "Aw, is Marco afraid of a widdle snake?!"

"Jeremy, it's trying to kill me!" Marco shouted back as he avoided another bite.

He laughed harder. "Then you'd better dodge it, if you think you're so good!"

Marco vaulted over the snake and landed in the first of three backflips away from the monster, opening the distance before landing in a low fighting stance.

Drew, Jo, and Roland should be on their way. I need to hold out until they get here!

The snake brought its head up, then lowered it to the ground, tongue slipping out to taste the air.

"Fast," the snake said, "But you are not fast enough."

"Then why don't you show me how fast you are?" Marco asked.

The snake's entire body flickered, before it crossed the distance between them in the blink of an eye and headbutted Marco in the stomach, launching him into the air.

I don't know what I was expecting…! Marco thought over the internal howl of pain from taking a body shot like that.

Looking down, his eyes widened when he saw the snake coming up at him, mouth wide open to bite into him. In the next instant his world was spinning as something slammed into him hard and he was brought to the ground.

Huh… didn't feel a thing. He thought with his eyes tightly shut.

"Marco! Marco, you still with me?"

That was a familiar voice. "Huh… wha…?"

"Mr. Diaz, snap out of it!"

Marco's eye shot open, and he realized he was being held by Brantley. "Sens… Brantley?"

He got up and placed a hand on his stomach. "Nngh… what are you doing here?"

"I came to, like, apologize for yesterday… but you're fighting a giant snake." Brantley said. "Is this something like the monster-arm thing again?"

Marco shook his head. "I wish, we need to get out of here. That thing's got laser eyes and it's fast."

"Yeah, I just saved you from that," Brantley said.

The snake tasted the air and hissed. "Before I tasted power… now I taste the same power and nothing more… ssss… move aside, or become prey, too!"

"And I say to you, continue your reckless hunt…" Brantley assumed a fighting stance. "And you will become the hunted."

Marco got ready to fight as well. "I'm serious, Brantley, this thing is no joke!"

The snake flickered again, but as it did Brantley struck Marco in the shoulder–shoving him out of the way of the snake's fangs. Marco fell away from him and the snake's passing body. Recovering, Marco landed on his feet and hopped back.

"From your rightt, Mr. Diaz!" Brantley shouted.

Years of being Brantley's student kicked in by reflex, and Marco jumped left, dodging the snake as it appeared to bite his right arm. Marco stared at the snake, and his eyes rolled towards Brantley in disbelief.

… What?

The snake slammed into the ground and slithered along it before coiling up to face them both again. It watched Marco and flicked its tongue again to taste the air. Over by the tree, Jeremy's shoulders slumped in disappointment. "Aw!"

Brantley looked between Marco and the snake. "Mr. Diaz, do exactly as I say!"

Marco glanced at Brantley again. "Wha-?"

"Duck, now!"

Marco ducked and watched as the Snake's flickering afterimage passed over his head.

"Now roll to the right!"

Doing as told, Marco dove and rolled, and the snake's open mouth ate the dirt where he'd been crouching.

"Forward! Double time!" Brantley shouted.

Marco obeyed, leaping forward and running to avoid the snake's thrashing body. From under its own coils, the snake's head emerged, and it flickered as it pursued Marco.

"Jump up and back!"

When he did, Marco went up and over the snake's head attacking his back and did a handspring off its body to land behind it.

The snake let out a very angry hiss, as its eyes lit up.

"Backflip, Mr. Diaz!" Marco did it and escaped the twin beams of death from the snake.

"Cartwheel, left!" Once more Brantley's instructions paid off, and Marco evaded the barely visible snake.

Where is it…?! Marco thought.

"Now, with your right hand and left knee!" Brantley shouted.

Marco felt a killing intent behind him, but before anything else, he listened.

"Turn around…" Brantley ordered. "… and Clip the toenail!"

Marco spun in place while bringing his knee up to catch the chin of the snake, as his fist came down into the top of its head. The two blows closed the snake's jaws with such speed and force that its fangs had no time to close properly–and they tore through the snake's lower jaw, barely missing Marco's attacking knee as they punched through.

Marco watched with wide eyes as the snake jerked away from him and began to thrash about, a green and red ichor spraying from its wounds. The snake fell onto its back and rolled around in dying, agonized spasms. Jeremy sagged even lower, his mouth hanging open.

Turning to face his teacher, Marco just shook his head. "Wh-what was that? How did you do that?"

Brantley crossed his arms. "Once you have achieved oneness with the universe and know its precise timing… you can see everything unfold before you."

It was all Greek to Marco. "What are you talking about?"

"Nevermind," Brantley said. "Why was that giant snake after you?"

Marco sighed. "It's a long story-"

"Here's the short version: you're doomed, baby!" Typhus called out, and both Marco and Brantley turned to see the Magnavore standing atop a nearby hill, brandishing his whalebone sword and surrounded by a squad of Scabs.

"OH MY GOSH!" Jeremy yelled.

Brantley did a double-take. "Whoa, sick cosplay."

"Revised short version: That's not cosplay, he's here to kill me, and he'll kill you too if we don't get out of here!" Marco warned as Typhus pointed his sword ahead and the Scabs broke into a run down the hill at them–brandishing their flame-shaped swords.

Rather than run, Brantley assumed a fighting stance. "Don't show them your back, Mr. Diaz, show them your fists!"

Marco looked from Brantley to the Scabs. "… Right."

The first Scab reached Brantley and jumped to swing its sword down at him. The slash missed wide, and Brantley snap-kicked the Scab in the chest and head, sending it flailing. He weaved around a stab from a second Scab and used the momentum to back fist it in the side of the head, before punching it in the dead-center of its face with his other hand as he let out a powerful kiai, snapping its head back.

Marco danced on his feet, backing up from the wild slashes of two Scabs, before he retaliated with a jumping crescent kick that spun them around onto the faces into the grass. A third leaped to fall upon him from above with a stab, and Marco rolled from under it and swept the Scab off its feet when it landed.

Another Scab jumped at Brantley to tackle him, and ate two punches to its torso then an uppercut that made it crumple to the ground. "Haaa!"

He performed a chop to stop the swing of another Scab, grabbed it by the arm and neck and threw it hard to the ground onto the one Marco swept.

He ducked, and Marco soared over him to drill a flying kick into the face of another Scab. Rebounding off it, he stood back to back with Brantley and the two circled in place to face the Scabs surrounding them.

"So these are like the Scabs in the comic?" Brantley asked. "You destroy 'em with head shots, right?"

"Yeah, I haven't been able to do that yet," Marco said.

Brantley looked over to the side and glared at Typhus as he reached the bottom of the hill and walked over to the Snake's body. Marco looked over with him and clicked his teeth.

"Yo, Snake Head. Stop playing dead, baby."

The injured Snake stopped thrashing, and rose up, a large glowing slit appeared down the middle of its belly. In a spray of its ichor, its humanoid body emerged and stood, hoisting aloft the snake across where its head and shoulders should be.

"IT'S SNAKE HEAD! FROM THE COMIC!" Jeremy shouted.

"Hey, nothin' for the big man, Bio Lord Typhus?" Typhus asked Jeremy.

"I like Noxic better!" Jeremy called back.

Typhus shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, he is pretty cool."

He then gestured to two Scabs. "By the way, grab the kid, too."

The Scabs leaped over to Jeremy, who recoiled and assumed a fighting stance. "Ha! If you think that loser was tough, I'm a black belt!"

"Jeremy! You're eight!" Marco yelled.

Brantley called over. "Run away, you toolbag!"

Rather than listen, Jeremy unleashed a karate chop. "HEEYAH!"

The Scab grabbed him by his arm and hoisted him in the air. Surprised at first, Jeremy began to thrash and scream, kicking in vain at the Scab, which was smart enough to hold him at arm's length. "Hey, let me go! Let me go!"

"Ssss… prey captured…" Snake Head said with pride. "Plus more."

"Great, hostages!" Typhus said as the two Scabs dragged Jeremy over to his side and pointed their blades at his throat. Seeing the gleaming edges of the weapons, Jeremy squeaked and went still. Both Marco and Brantley lowered their guards with grimaces.

Typhus chuckled and walked over to the circle of Scabs. "All right, time for the real hunt to begin. Grab up your phone and call the Butterfly and the Beetles to come over and save the day."

Marco glared at Typhus. "I won't."

Typhus broke through the circle and grabbed Brantley by his gi, hoisting him off the ground. "Do it, or I start taking chunks off your battle bro here, baby."

"Sensei!" Marco blurted out.

Brantley stared Typhus in his eyes and called out to Marco. "No matter what he does to me, Mr. Diaz, don't give him what he wants."

Tightening his grip on Brantley's gi, Typhus chuckled and drew his red arm back, its muscles bulging causing its spikes to lengthen and sharpen. "Pretty brave of ya, but it's gonna hurt."

Brantley smirked. "Do your worst."

Just as Typhus accepted his challenge, an Input Magnum bolt struck him in the side of the head and he dropped Brantley. More bolts shot across the park, perforating the heads of the Scabs surrounding Marco and standing over Jeremy. Even more bolts pounded into Snake Head, knocking him backward and to the ground.

Jeremy sat up as the Scabs disintegrated around him, and he gawked in silence at the very sight of the Big Bad Beetleborgs themselves standing on the preferred end of the avalanche of fire they unleashed onto the Magnavores–their armor gleaming in the morning sun.

Marco sighed in relief and helped Brantley up as Drew, Jo, and Roland lowered their weapons.

Brantley looked at them and nearly broke into tears of joy. "Dude. This is like the most nerdgasmic day of my life."

Typhus got up, and faced the Beetleborgs. "Just the bugs I wanted to squash, baby!"

Drew glanced at Jo. "Get 'em."

"I'mma get 'em!" Jo shouted as she charged Typhus, who met her charge in kind, the red spreading across his body as he bulked up and out.

"PAYBACK TIME, BABY!" Typhus roared, swinging his punch.

Jo met his fist with hers, and on contact the shockwave blew Jeremy, Marco and Brantley away from the battlefield, sending them tumbling across the grass. The force of the impact sent both Drew and Roland stumbling back, but they managed to stay on their feet.

Typhus and Jo both recoiled back from the explosion of their fists meeting. The more experienced former was the first to recover and swung his sword across Jo's chest in a downward slash, then swung straight across, sparks flying from her armor with each hit.

Drew came in fast, shooting Typhus repeatedly with the Input Magnum. After taking several shots, he swung his sword to deflect two more bolts and fired back, Drew rolling out of the way of the fire. Getting back up to a knee, he fired several more shots, hitting Typhus in the side and the shoulder.

"Grr…!" Typhus shrugged off the bolts, but Jo's rising uppercut was a tougher no-sell, lifting him into the air like a rocket.

As Typhus sailed in a ballistic arc towards the park's lake, Marco and Brantley both got up. Jeremy was a little slower to get up, groaning as he rubbed his head.

"So, you're friends with the Big Bad Beetleborgs–who are real," Brantley said.

Marco looked at Brantley. "They're not my friends, we just happen to share common interests."

"What, fighting the freakin' Magnavores?" Brantley asked. "With the karate I taught you? Marco, do you have any idea how cool that is? I'm freaking out right now!"

Roland opened fire on Snake Head, the monster taking several shots, and staggering back. Raising its head, it fired a burst of beams from its eyes that danced off Roland's armor without doing too much damage but causing him to stagger. With the opening Snake Head vanished from where he stood and appeared in front of Roland, lashing at him with the snake's tail.

"Gah!" Roland grunted before the snake's head came up and fired its beams point blank, knocking him down.

Drew and Jo aimed their Input Magnums and fired, and Snake Head vanished–appearing behind Jo to kick her in the head while it used the snake to fire beams at Drew. Both Beetleborgs went spilling to the ground, but Jo turned over and fired at Snake Head, the monster fading away from sight as the beams went through it.

"It's fast!" Jo shouted before she was grabbed around the neck by the snake tail and swung into Drew. "Oof!"

Marco took off towards the fight. "Sensei, stay with Jeremy!"

Brantley was about to shout affirmative, when he stopped. "… I'm your Sensei again?"

Waving Jo around with its tail, Snake Head fired its beams at Drew and then Roland, forcing them both to roll for some kind of cover. In a full sprint, Marco jumped, twisted himself through the air, and came down with a diving kick that caught Snake Head between its shoulder blades. The blow sent the monster crashing into the ground, and Jo was able to free herself.

"You bastard!" She growled, aiming her Input Magnum at the prone monster together with Roland and Drew and firing.

The much faster monster vanished, and the beam shots only kicked up dirt and grass.

"Above you! Move back!" Brantley shouted.

Marco jumped backward, the Beetleborgs following his lead to avoid the shower of beams that Snake Head fired as it fell onto them.

Roland raised his Input Magnum and hit some keys. "Don't let him hit the ground! 9-6-7! Anti-Gravity Magnum!"

He opened fire, the solid beam striking Snake Head. The beam's effect did not damage, but rather than continue falling, the monster levitated above the ground, and began to struggle.

"… Ssss?! What is this?!" Snake Head yelled as he tried to get some kind of purchase.

"Stingerborg!" Jo shouted. "Use me as a springboard!"

Drew summoned the Stinger blade. "Got it!"

Running at Jo, Drew jumped and landed on Jo's back as she doubled over. Standing upright, she shot her brother towards Snake Head as the Stinger Blade spun up and wrapped itself in power.

"Beetle… Break!" Drew yelled, slashing through Snake Head's snake and bisecting it.

The force of the impact sent the monster floating higher into the air before the Anti-Gravity effect wore off and it crashed to the ground.

Drew landed next to Jo and turned to her. "Good teamwork."

As Roland joined them, he turned to him. "And good idea with the Anti-Gravity."

"Yeah, but this isn't over yet," Roland warned.

Marco joined them. "It's not?"

Roland shook his head and turned towards Snake Head's snake… which now lay on the ground in two pieces. "That was Heavyznake, half of Snake Head's body."

Jo nodded. "The other half is…"

Snake Head got up, revealing that underneath the snake it wore on its shoulders was another, more tightly curled red viper, its head resting comfortably between the coils draped on its shoulders. Snake Head's tongue flicked out, as its eyes shone a glowing crimson.

"What a glorious hunt… ssss…" Snake Head said as Typhus appeared again at the top of the hill.

"Snake Head! The cavalry is here, baby!" He shouted.

When Marco and the Beetleborgs looked up towards the Magnavore, they stopped when another crested the hill to join him, gliding effortlessly across the ground to reach his side.

Drew, Roland, and Marco all tensed up in silence, while Jo said exactly what they were thinking.

"… Oh shit."

Vexor stood calmly beside Typhus, looking down at the scene and taking count of the belligerents.

"The Butterfly isn't here," he murmured.

"I tried to get 'im to call her… but he didn't wanna cooperate," Typhus explained.

Vexor hummed. "It will have to do."

He held forth his right hand and opened it, revealing a blue gem set into the center of his palm. "Open forth, Gaohm Zone!"

"What?" Roland asked before there was a flash of light and suddenly, he, Drew, Marco, and Jo felt the ground fall away from beneath them, and they were hurtling through a swirling tunnel of colors and lights.

"A dimensional tunnel?!" Marco yelled as they plummeted.

"This is bad!" Drew shouted before Roland vanished from his sight. "Roland!"

He disappeared next, leaving Marco and Jo. Marco reached for her. "We gotta stay together-!"

Jo vanished.

"Crap!"

There was another flash of light, and Marco landed hard–falling into the middle of… the Hill-Trank Plaza dojo. Standing up on the cushioned mat, Marco looked around in confusion. It wasn't just the dojo, across the back walls were shelves of VHS tapes, and even the cash register from the VHS Depot.

He turned around in place. "… Okay…?"

He heard a low hiss, and turned around again, on his guard. "Is that you, Snake Head?"

Heavy, building shaking footsteps filled the room, and Marco turned around. He didn't find Snake Head. Instead, a man with the hulking figure of the VHS Depot Manager and wearing Brantley's gi loomed over him with his arms crossed. Looking higher, Marco took a step back as he saw the giant of a man had Jeremy's head.

"Hey Marco…" Jeremy said with a chuckle. "… Let's settle this once and for all."

= - = 3-8 = - =​

The grudge match begins.

 

[The Ero-Sennin]

= - = 3-9 = - =

|We are the Hunters|​

Spiraling out of the tunnel of colored lights, Roland crashed into a slope not covered in, but made of bones. He skipped down the slope twice, before he managed to land and turn his tumble into a slide down the massive hill. He looked to his left mid-descent, and saw many more bone hills ruled the landscape, lit by a pale orange moon in a black sky devoid of stars.

"What the heck…?" He said as he reached the bottom of the hill, skipping off a short ledge and landing in thick, knee deep sludge. Standing upright quickly, Roland looked around at the uncountable bones surrounding him, and realized that they were almost all rat-like.

"Where am I?" He murmured before he heard a hiss.

Beams of energy shot from the dark, blasting Roland in the chest, shoulders, and head. Snake Head–sans Heavyznake–kicked Roland in the back, then bicycle kicked him forward. Spin-kicking twice to end the chain of blows, he fired his eye lasers–which propelled Roland into the side of another mound.

Snake Head landed in the sludge and folded his arm as the liquid rippled with the stirring of serpents around his feet.

"Welcome to my trophy room," he hissed at the Green Hunterborg as Roland got back up.

Back at Echo Creek Park, Brantley looked at the scorched ground where Marco and the Beetleborgs had been standing, then looked up the hill at Typhus and Vexor. Typhus was scratching the side of his mutant head, puzzling over what just happened.

"So are we just gonna wait for Snake Head to finish, or what…?" He asked.

Vexor hummed and shrugged his shoulders, moving his whole upper body with the effort. "We could always watch and see what happens."

"Hey!" Brantley yelled out, and they both noticed the karate teacher walking up the hill towards them.

Vexor stared at Brantley and spoke aside to Typhus. "Who's this?"

"Just some guy," Typhus said.

Brantley took offense to that. "My name is Brantley, and I'm the teacher of that kid you zapped. Where is he, damn it?!"

Vexor called forth a scrying circle, forming it in the air above him and Typhus. "Would you like to see?"

Brantley looked up at the circular viewing screen into another world and saw the Blue Stingerborg on it. "… Whoa…"

Drew scanned his surroundings. He appeared to be in the middle of Echo Creek's scrap yard surrounded by its piles of stacked up compacted cars. The path he stood in was much wider than normal, almost as big as a two-lane highway. Okay, another new ability, this time from Vexor.

The buzzing of motorcycle engines pulled his attention upward, and he saw four Scabs on dirt bikes riding down towards him, brandishing their swords. Without delay he pulled and fired the Input Magnum at his attackers, the beams bouncing off the front and handlebars of the bikes as their Scab riders reached him. Two passed closest to him, slashing him with their swords, while the two on the flanks of the formation peeled off in separate directions.

Grunting from the hits, Drew faced the rider to his left that peeled off. Coming back around, the rider did a wheelie and three more dirt bikes with scabs on it appeared with it. The riders opened their formation and attacked one by one, slashing at Drew with their blades as they passed him.

"Argh!" Drew tried to turn back to shoot the retreating riders, when more came from the other direction, three slashing him with their swords while the last one did a wheelie and drove its bike up Drew's front.

Sent reeling, fell to the ground and the Scabs closest to him leaped off their bikes and fell upon him in a heap.

Brantley gasped, as the Scabs swarmed Drew. "Oh no."

Vexor was pleased, though it was hard to tell. "Not as extravagant as Jara's but still clever. Where's the other one?"

The scrying circle changed to the shopping district of Rodeo Drive in the middle of the night, where Jo stood on the famous pedestrian street lined with staggeringly expensive shops. Looking at the shops, Jo grew indignant.

"I better not be here because I'm a girl!" She yelled before an expensively dressed woman walked past her. "Huh?"

Another passed her in the other direction. Despite it being the middle of the night, the walkway was populated like it was the middle of the day–and there were sales going on. Looking more closely at the women, Jo saw they were mannequins with their faces drawn on by someone who had to do it in a hurry.

"… This is weird…" She muttered, before one of the mannequins walking up to her from behind pulled out a knife and slashed her across the back. The hit was immense, tearing off pieces of Jo's armor. "Urk!"

She stumbled into another slash, this time from the front, and went backward in a shower of sparks–only to be slashed again, and again. As the mannequins walked by her, they kept cutting, giving her no time to recover, let alone counterattack.

"Ack! Hey! Quit it!" She shouted with each hit.

Vexor watched, wondering what to make of this. "Snake Head isn't the most creative of your works, is he?"

Typhus shrugged his shoulders. "I made him to do two things, baby: Hunt, and go fast."

"He does it well," Vexor changed the image of the scry, and Roland was in trouble as well.

Firing the Input Magnum in Crashing Mode from atop a bone mound, he sprayed beams at a high rate of fire, shooting at Snake Head. The monster moved like a blur, weaving in between each bolt and closing the distance.

Behind his mask, Roland grit his teeth. He's so fast!

Snake Head punched him in the head, making him stagger to the side, then kicked him off the mound.

As the Green Hunterborg fell Snake Head struck him from above, sending him into a spin, then came up from below in a rising kick to his stomach, folding him in half.

The blow knocked the wind out of him. Felt that through the armor…!

Snake Head grabbed him by one of his helmet's horns and threw into the sludge. Lying in it, he looked up to see several Heavyznake's rear their heads from the liquid and glower down at him. "Crap…!"

They fired their eye beams in succession, each hit pushing Roland towards another mound. Just as he reached it, Snake Head came down on him from above, punching him in the gut where he'd kicked him before.

"Ngh…" Roland grunted from the pain and looked up at the monster. Snake Head slammed its foot–armored with a pointed greave–into his face and shoved his head under the muck.

"Ssss… a paltry hunt." Snake Head said.

The Hunter Claw shot from the sludge opening to clamp on his waist. Snake Head vanished, and Roland stumbled forward through where he'd stood.

Snake Head appeared and spin-kicked him in the head. "I have hunted monsters…"

Appearing behind him he clubbed Roland on the back of the head. "… Demons…"

Snake Head grabbed his shoulders and kneed him in the stomach, then elbowed his back to drive him down into the muck. "… Even Gods."

A Heavyznake shot up from below Roland, grabbing him in its jaws and lifting him above the sludge. With a whip of its head, it threw him high into the air, below the orange moon–framing him as a perfect target for dozens of Heavyznakes and their laser vision. The Green Hunterborg was juggled by the beams, bouncing to and fro, spinning and flipping, before he finally fell away from the assault and crashed–trailing smoke–before the skeleton of a much larger rat-like creature.

Panting, Roland slowly pushed himself up to his knees and looked up at the skeleton of the rat-like creature, different from the countless others besides its size with the massive, curling horns that sprung from its skull. He looked up higher and found Snake Head standing on the broken end of one of the horns, framed by the moon above and behind him.

"Ssss… this has been a much needed vacation," Snake Head admitted.

Roland got up, the sludge dripping from his damaged armor, and he ignored the pain he was in from all the impacts to point his Input Magnum at Snake Head. "What did you… just say…?"

"Hmph… ssss… my Master, Bio Lord Typhus, has told me all that you are capable of." Heavyznakes burst from the sludge, two grabbing his arms and two grabbing his legs, holding him in place.

"And I can taste your power. Great, but untapped. Dangerous, but ignorant." Snake Head stuck his tongue out for emphasis. "That is why as prey your only worth is to capture more prey."

Outside, Brantley looked away from the scrying circle to scowl at Vexor. "Whatever you've got planned, you won't get away with it!"

"Are you volunteering to stop me, or are you going to continue to stand there like a pissant?" Vexor asked.

Brantley's shoulders slumped. "Well, no, because I've, like, read your comic and I know you're super strong and you'd splatter me all over this park in a second."

A long, awkward silence passed, and Vexor tilted his head to him.

"You're brave to admit that."

"But…" Brantley added. "… I also know that I don't need to do anything. Because you've already screwed up–you took my best student with you into your weird dimension."

Vexor hummed. "Oh, that warrior boy. Let's see how he's faring."

The scry changed, to Marco rolling along the tatami mats of the dojo to stay ahead of Jeremy, whose powerful stomps smashed holes in the floor as he tried to crush Marco with them. He got onto his hands and feet and sprang away from a heel drop that carved through one of the VHS shelves and landed a short distance away.

Marco assumed a fighting stance, as Jeremy chuckled and turned to face him. "Hahaha! So what happened to all that talk, Marco?"

Brantley recoiled. "Jeremy?! Wait…"

He looked around and saw no sign of his troubled other student. He looked back at the scry. "Oh no."

Grabbing the destroyed shelf, Jeremy lifted and threw it at him, but Marco flipped out of the way. "You're so big, bad, and strong, come on! Take me out like you said!"

Marco landed. "I'm not going to kill you."

Jeremy snorted and jumped across the room, flying like Superman to punch Marco down. Instead of evading, Marco parried the blow and circled around Jeremy's back. Jeremy turned and blocked Marco's chop with his raised forearm. Then spun in place, lashing out with his arms in a whirling strike that Marco slipped under.

Turning to face him, Jeremy punched and kicked with his newfound reach and power, forcing Marco back one step with each attack. "Yeah, because you can't!"

Marco crossed his arms to block a straight kick from Jeremy, and grimaced. He hits so hard!

His massive opponent capitalized, grabbing Marco by the shoulders and throwing him across the VHS Store/Slash dojo. "WAAAAAAHHH!"

He crashed into the bleacher and winced when he felt something break under him. Fortunately, he found only the wood splintered and cracked, and rolled out of the way before Jeremy's hammer blow smashed the bleachers in two. The benches being wrenched down at the middle and up at the ends flung Marco into the air, but he caught himself on a rafter and held on.

Jeremy emerged from the broken bleachers and looked up to see Marco swing and throw himself off them to perform a flying roundhouse kick that connected with his jaw. Turning away into a spin, Marco back-kicked Jeremy, but only got his foot caught in a massive hand.

"Seven years, Marco. You've been doing karate almost as long as I've been…" He swung Marco around and threw him into the cashier's counter. "… ALIVE!"

Coughing, Marco sat up and looked up at Jeremy as the giant advanced on him. "You've been a Green Belt for over half my life!"

He grabbed Marco by the throat and lifted him off his feet. "And I shot past you like the nothing you are!"

"Humans have such delusions," Vexor noted to Typhus.

Typhus shrugged his shoulders. "Snake Head said to not sleep on 'em, boss."

Vexor sighed. "Well, I'm getting rather bored."

Jeremy leaned close to Marco's face, huffing loudly through his nose, high off adrenaline and conquest. "You will never come close to me, and you're gonna die wishing that you could."

Brantley shuddered. "Mr. Birnbaum, what the heck dude?"

Marco struggling against his grip to keep his airway open, spoke. "I'm not gonna kill you… because… you're not worth it…"

Jeremy stopped. "Huh?"

"Why would I kill someone… as pathetic as you?" Marco asked.

He gripped Jeremy's massive fingers and laughed. "You're eight years old. You bought your belt and private lessons, but bully other kids at a McDojo just to feel better than them. You have no friends, no one likes you, and I bet your own Mom lets you do whatever because she gave up on you. Killing you would be doing you… a favor…!"

Jeremy stared at Marco with a blank expression, and he raised his fist. "You're talking mad smack for someone about to lose all their teeth, Diaz."

Space Unicorn~! Soaring through the Stars~! Delivering the Rainbows all around the Wooooooorld~!

Vexor and Typhus both looked at each other, then at the scry as Marco's ringtone went off. Jeremy stopped too, surprised by the sound.

On Rodeo Drive, the women attacking Jo stopped and looked upward. Staggering against a wall, Jo shook her head and caught her breath. "… What?"

In the scrapyard, Drew was pinned underneath a dirt bike of a Scab doing a burnout on his face–when the bike's rear tire stopped and the rider and the Scabs pinning him down looked up at the sky.

Far within the bone mounds, Snake Head stopped… but he looked down. "His phone? But how?"

Marco grabbed his phone from his gi pocket and hit the talk button. "Star…!"

Jeremy snatched the phone from him with his free hand. "Hello, are you Marco's girlfriend~?"

"No," Dipper replied. "This is a courtesy call."

Jeremy pulled the phone back from his face. "Huh?"

"Marco!" Dipper shouted. "That's not the real Jeremy! None of what you're in is real!"

On Rodeo Drive, Jo could hear Dipper's voice. "Huh?"

Drew as well. "It's not…!"

Marco began to smile. "It's not… real?"

"I'm the real Jeremy!" The giant shouted.

"No you're not… we've got him right here!" Dipper yelled back.

Vexor grew alert and looked towards the tree Snake Head ambushed Marco at, Typhus and Brantley following. Dipper was standing under the tree, holding Star's compact magic mirror in his hand. Next to the tree, Mabel and Misao held a squirming Jeremy still with their hands over his mouth.

"Thanks for distracting them, by the way," Dipper said to Brantley with a nod in greeting.

"I did not sense them… are they normal humans…?" Vexor asked, before he felt like he'd been buried alive in molten lava, and liquid metal was being poured into his eyes and ears.

He felt… power…

Incredible power.

Power that turned the morning sky dark from the intensity of its shine behind him.

Both he and Typhus turned around and came face to face with Star, who stood by the edge of Echo Creek Lake, her cheek marks and eyes both glowing as the air around her rippled with power. She was looking at the scrying circle over their heads, showing Marco struggling to get free of the fake Jeremy's grip.

"Uh oh…" Typhus said as the ground shook in waves under his feet and a wind picked up from the direction of the girl, catching his and Vexor's capes and the leaves of the tree.

For Vexor, it was like staring directly at the sun, from five feet away.

"… The… The Butterfly…!" He gasped, his voice filled with the awe and wonder of a man beholding the cosmos for the first time.

Star raised the wand and pointed it at the two Magnavores. Red lines of light drew towards the face of the wand, before several pink rings appeared in front of it and collapsed towards the center. The darkness in the sky grew, before it became almost black. In a voice that echoed with power and shook the air, she spoke.

"Let. Him. Go."

Then it was the brightest day Echo Creek ever saw as a colossal beam of light enveloped the top of the hill and everything on it. The jet-like howl of the beam set off car alarms, sent dogs barking, and people who'd already been chased away from the park by the sounds of lasers and explosions ducking for cover.

Inside of the Gaohm Zone, the space flickered and warped, as immense power surged through it. The fake Jeremy flinched as the surge affected him, too. "What's… happening…?!"

Marco forced Jeremy's hand open, and dropped to the floor, pulling Jeremy's arm and hyperextending it. Dragging him in, he swung Jeremy around and away from him. The hulking Jeremy caught himself against the broken cashier counter, and turned around, growling.

His back to him, Marco walked to the center of the training mats with a smile dripping malice on his face.

"This isn't real," he said. "Ohohohohoho… Jeremy, you have no idea what kind of a relief that is."

On Rodeo Drive, the power surge caused the sky to grow lighter, and the mannequins turned their attention back to Jo. She was cracking her knuckles, and behind her mask she was grinning.

Letting out a dark laugh she pushed off from the store front and launched herself at the group. Reaching the nearest of the mannequins, Jo jumped, flipped, and dove towards the center of the crowd–punching the ground.

The force of her impact created a gigantic plume of concrete, glass, metal, and mannequin-like women as she destroyed the entire shopping district with that one punch.

Marco clapped his hands together. "Because now? Now… ohohoho! I can get me some catharsis!"

The bike pinning Drew exploded, and the Scabs that held him down were slashed through their heads and torsos by the Stinger Blade. Drawing the Input Magnum, Drew hit a new set of keys. "2-8-9! Magnet Magnum!"

As the other dirt bike riding Scabs tried to attack, Drew turned and fired at the piles of cars around him, magnetizing them with such power that the dirt bikes and the Scabs on them were yanked off the ground and crashed into them at high speed, crushing them against the piles of magnetized scrap.

The Gaohm Zone Jeremy chuckled. "So what… you're gonna stop holding back…?!"

He ran at Marco with outstretched arms, huffing and panting like a galloping draft horse, to drag him to the floor and pummel him to death. "YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME IN ONE SHOT?!"

Turning in place, Marco performed a sharp, crisp high kick and struck Jeremy square in his chin. Its force wrenched the fake Jeremy's head up with a sickening crunch and the rest of his instantly lifeless body followed it, his corpse smashing through the rafters until it was stuck into it from the hips, his legs dangling below him.

Marco lowered his leg as he stared up at the dead fake.

"Yeah."

Pounding his fist into his palm, he closed his eyes and bowed to his defeated opponent.

The realization that the Beetleborgs and Marco had overcome the traps his Gaohm Zone had laid out for him struck Snake Head with disbelief. "Ssss… impossible…"

He heard laughter behind him, and faced Roland, still held taut by the Heavyznakes. Underneath the mask, Roland smiled big as he watched the monster struggle with the sudden turn around.

"What did you say this was? A vacation?" He asked as he pulled against the Heavyznakes. "Listen my guy, this was over the moment you decided what we're worth."

Snake Head hissed and the muck around him began to light up. One by one, more Heavyznakes reared up, their eyes shining as they charged with their potent lasers.

"Whatever you think you know about us, here's something that you'd better not forget for as long as you have left to live: We may be sloppy and new at this, but we'll never give up… and when we work together? We're unstoppable!"

Snake Head let out a dismissive hiss as his own eyes lit up. "Courageous last words. Prey that holds its head up high… is still just prey."

All at once, Snake Head and the Heavyznakes fired, the beams raining upon Roland and enveloping him in a volley so large and concentrated that after enveloping him it went on to bore a massive hole into and through the bone mound behind him, vaporizing everything in its path. After several seconds of continuous fire the barrage came to an end and the beams faded, leaving nothing but a gaping tunnel that stood for several seconds before it collapsed under its own weight to seal it.

As bones tumbled down into the sludge at his feet, Snake Head flicked his tongue into the rancid air and tasted death, decay, and power.

He let out a hiss of satisfaction. "Prey slain, the hunt continues."

Roland's hand caught the extended tongue and held it in his grip. "Nah man, this one's far from done."

Snake Head's pupils dilated in his eyes with the shock. "Ssss…?!"

The Green Hunterborg pressed the Input Magnum against Snake Head's left eye and pulled the trigger, shooting him with a wad of birdlime and sending the monster reeling in pain–his hand groping at the sticky, caustic substance to claw it off.

"… You… how…?!" He snarled.

Twirling the Input Magnum in hand, Roland set it to Beam Mode and aimed it at Snake Head. "I already told you once, don't make me repeat myself!"

Snake Head yanked his hand from his wounded eye and entered a fighting stance. "I will slay you in the name of Bio Lord Typhus, stubborn prey!"

Roland fired the Input Magnum, but to Snake Head the yellow beam crawled out of the barrel of the weapon and began a slow, leisurely flight through the air towards him. Letting out a hiss, Snake Head stepped out of the muck and onto its surface to walk towards Roland, each footstep leaving a frozen ripple on its surface.

He stormed past the beam, now fully left the Input Magnum, and up to Roland. "You will not escape me this time!"

With all his might Snake Head lashed out with a front kick at Roland's stomach, to kick him into the collapsing bone pile behind him and bury him in it. It didn't connect, passing through Roland's afterimage as so many attacks had passed through his own.

Snake Head hissed with disbelief, before he was shot in the back with rapid fire bolts from the Input Magnum's Crashing Mode.

"What…?!" He turned back and only saw a smear of green disappear into his new blind spot on his left. He was struck with more Crashing Mode bolts, on his right, hitting his hip, side, and shoulder. "Ssss!"

Snake Head leaped away, jumping onto a bone mound to his right. He landed hard, the bones kicked up into the air by the speed of his landing coming to a standstill around him. "When did the prey gain this speed?"

Roland appeared in front of him, swinging the Hunter Claw hard and wide and scattering the bones. Snake Head ducked under it counterattacked with a punch that Roland deflected with his free hand. The claw came back around, and Snake Head rolled under it to get behind him and kick him in the back.

The Green Hunterborg blocked the kick, turned and clobbered him in the snout with a punch before kicking him in the chest.

"You're too slow, man."

Wheeling backward, Snake Head avoided two more of Roland's sloppy swings with the Hunter Claw, then ducked under a third to spear him in the gut. Roland was shoved by the hit but didn't go down, and instead picked up Snake Head and swung him around to throw him to the ground.

On his back, Snake Head flared his eyes with power and fired, burning through the bird lime to lash out at Roland with two deadly rays of light.

Roland vanished before the rays could touch him and Crashing Magnum beams rained down on Snake Head from above. Rolling onto his feet as bolts struck his body, the monster looked up to see Roland jumping from suspended bone to suspended bone, using them like floating stepping stones to get a new angle to shoot him from.

Hissing, Snake Head fired another blast at Roland and swept it through the air, disintegrating the bones.

"Power… rot… death… nothing has changed!" Snake Head seethed before he was shot in the chest, left shoulder, back, and right arm by the Input Magnum.

The shots spun him around, to face Roland and the open Hunter Claw he plunged into his mouth and clamped down on his head. "That's right nothing's changed, you've been looking at me the entire time!"

Snake Head's eyes dilated from its slit to nearly occupying the entire space of it. He remembered his own warning to Typhus, and his own condescending towards Roland just moments ago.

The hunter's folly… I underestimated my prey!

It was a revelation that came an instant before Roland charged down the bone mound and drove his body into the slope. At tremendous speeds, the bones tore at his durable hide, some impaled his shoulders and the coils wrapped there, a large sharpened bone tore off his left arm at the elbow, another sheared off his left leg, before he was lifted from the mound and thrown towards the sludge below.

The Green Hunterborg appeared in front of him, showing him his back, and the world slowed down for Snake Head in a way it hadn't before. Everything was dark, the bone mounds were gone, the sludge they rose from, and the rot and decay that he tasted with them had vanished as well. There was nothing else except for the Green Hunterborg standing there, radiating the tremendous power that he'd tasted all along.

Only Power. And Death.

"What are you?" Snake Head asked.

Roland reached back and touched the end of Snake Head's snout, stopping his fall. "The Hunter."

A brilliant, blinding light filled half of Snake Head's vision, and the monster realized that another Input Magnum shot was only centimeters from his head. The Beam Mode shot that Roland had first fired after gumming his eye up with the Bird Lime–he had brought Snake Head back here to put him in its path.

What a fine Hunter you are. With his last comforting thought, the beam punched through Snake Head's skull at normal velocity, and the monster fell dead at Roland's feet.

"And that's all she wrote, my guy," Roland said as he started his walk away from the smoking corpse. "So… how do I get out of here?"

He got his answer when Snake Head's body exploded–the blast shattering the world of bones and rot like it were glass. With a disoriented yell, Roland found himself falling, entering the tunnel of light and color that brought him here.

@@@@@​

The light from Star's spell curved off and into the sky, dispersing several clouds before fading away harmlessly. On the ground, Dipper opened his eyes and found he was behind the tree with Mabel, Misao, and Jeremy. Brantley had dragged him there.

"Oh good," Dipper said, seeing him in one piece. "I thought she would've gotten you."

Brantley looked back at him. "I have seen enough anime to know… that you do not want to be standing in the sight-line of an angry magical girl."

It was wisdom to live by. The top of the hill was gone, shaved completely off at the top by about three meters by Star's attack. On the new edge of the hill, Vexor stood with both hands held forth, and a crumbling shell of magic falling in front of him and Typhus.

The Magnavore's pristine white attire was scorched black in places, and his white chitin was cracked and split, revealing a purple and yellow glow beneath it. Behind him, Typhus' body was fully red and badly scorched, regenerating slowly from the tremendous damage that the spell had inflicted on him.

In front of them, Star lowered the wand, and panted heavily. While the glow had left her eyes, her pupils were still shining, as were her cheek marks.

"In… incredible…" Vexor whispered, as glowing orange fluid dribbled from his mouth. "… The power of Mewni… undiminished by the ages…"

"I have so much left in the tank, too." Star said as she raised her wand. "Now let my friends go!"

Soon as she made her demand, the sky opened up above her head, and Drew, Jo, Roland, and Marco all came spilling out of it. With a yelp, she dodged and weaved to not be crushed under the armored warriors, but with even greater reflexes she caught Marco before he had a bad encounter with the ground.

"Marco!" She gasped, hugging him tight.

Marco smiled and returned the hug. "Hey Sta-aaahhow!"

And regretted it when she squeezed him tighter. "Ow! OW! Ribs! Ribs! Back! Everything!"

Gasping, Star pulled back. "OhmygoshI'msorry!"

Typhus saw the perfect opportunity and grabbed Vexor by the arm. "We're outta here, baby!"

"W-wait…!" Vexor gasped, clawing at the air towards Star. "… The Butterfly…!"

Ignoring him, Typhus nodded and the two disappeared.

Star saw the burst of flames. "Shoot!"

She almost dropped Marco, then remembered the state he was in. "Ahh… is anything broken? Do you need to go to the hospital?!"

Marco shook his head and pulled away, but not too far. "Nothing's broken, I'm just kinda banged up from that fight. All I need to do is lie down some."

"That sounds great right now," Roland said.

Marco was more than relieved to see the Beetleborgs were back in the real world, too. "Hey, you made it out."

"Yep," Jo called back.

Drew sat up. "Hey, did all of you end up in some weird place fighting something strange?"

"Uh huh," Roland said. "I ended up fighting Snake Head in some kind of weird place filled with rat bones. What about you?"

"I got the scrapyard," Drew said. "And fought guys on dirt bikes like Dipper did."

Jo seethed. "What? You got to have all that and I fought a bunch of mannequins with knives on Rodeo Drive?! Screw him, I'm gonna mess him up like I rocked that whole block!"

"You don't need to worry about that, he's already gone," Roland assured her.

Jo got up and faced Roland. "Did you beat him?"

Roland got up slowly, his whole body felt like he'd just run a marathon, after he'd already run an entirely separate marathon. "Sure did, my only regret is that you weren't there to see it."

Drew pumped his fist. "Good going, man."

When he patted Roland on the shoulder, he flinched. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Please… I feel like tenderized meat in this tin can suit thanks to that fight. My whole body aches."

"Yay, me too. We can be pain bros," Marco said.

Roland gave him a thumb's up. "Yeaaah… pain bros."

He laughed weakly, before he remembered. "Oh yeah, I found my special power, too."

Jo brightened. "What, really?!"

Drew was just as stoked to hear it. "What is it, man?"

Roland fully stood up. "Super Speed, like… really super speed."

The McCormicks looked at each other, then Drew spoke. "So Super Strength from Jo, Roland has Super Speed."

Jo nudged her brother. "I wonder what you'll get?"

"Who knows, but I can't wait to find out," Drew admitted.

Dipper, Mabel, and Misao walked over to the group, and looked around at the burning, scorched, and vaporized portions of the park. "So as usual we need to get going. Flabber won't be able to clean this one up for us."

"Yeah, good idea," Marco agreed.

Jo looked around. "I can't wait to watch the news report on this."

Star handed Dipper the Dimensional Scissors, and he quickly cut open a portal that would take them to Shermie's back yard. Drew looked at the portal, then at Dipper, Mabel, and Misao, then at Sensei Brantley–who was carrying a squirming Jeremy under his arm, with his other hand over his mouth.

"Well then…" He said to his non-suited friends. "… If everything is in order, we're gonna be on our way."

Jo butted in. "And let this be a lesson to you civilians to stay out of ours. The Magnavores are way above your pay-grade."

Dipper scowled at her but nodded. "You're welcome, I guess."

"Let's go, I hear sirens," Misao warned them before she hopped through the portal.

Dipper nodded to the Beetleborgs again, and stepped through the portal himself, with Mabel right behind him. Star was about to bring Marco across the threshold, when Brantley called out to him.

"Mr. Diaz!"

Marco looked back. Brantley, still carrying Jeremy, walked up to him.

"You don't have to but… like… come to the dojo Monday? I promise it's nothing bad, or me jerking you around. I have a lot to say, and I wanna do it without having to worry about cops asking me a bunch of questions."

Marco nodded. "I will. You be safe getting out of here, Sensei."

Sensei Brantley tried to not tear up, but he was bad at it. "Now go! I need to find Jeremy's butler and then soak my hand in like… a gallon of sanitizer."

Jeremy glared up at Sensei Brantley, then delivered a harsher glare at Marco as he and Star stepped across the threshold and the portal disappeared.

With their friends gone, Drew looked to Roland. "You good?"

Roland nodded. "My body hurts, but I can still move."

Jo flexed. "I feel great. If you want, I can carry both of you schlubs."

"I'll pass. Besides…" Roland snapped his fingers, and the world became a blur for Jo.

When it stopped five seconds later, she wasn't in the park. She was in the alley behind Zoom Comics.

"Huh? Wait?" She looked around before Roland appeared, setting down an equally disoriented Drew. "What?!"

"Back Blast," Roland said, and his armor vanished. "I told you, I have super speed."

Drew transformed back, and Jo followed suit. The elder McCormick was alight with excitement, grinning from ear to ear at Roland. "That is so cool! You're like the Flash, but like the Wally West version!"

"So the only one that matters," Jo added.

Roland slumped against a wall, exhausted. "And now I think I'm gonna need to lie down for six hundred years after that."

Drew gave a thumb's up. "Dipper will be here soon. We'll chill at his place for the rest of the day, we earned it."

Looking over at her brother, and then at Roland, Jo smiled. "I'll say! This is our third fight we've won against the Magnavores, guys!"

"Yeah, and did you see?" Drew asked. "Star hit Vexor hard."

"I doubt Vexor will try to come after us directly like that again, though," Roland noted.

"No, but if we can find out where he is? It won't matter."

Jo agreed. "That's right."

Vexor wasn't invincible, and for all of their experience and abilities the Magnavores could be beaten in a fight. They were by no means experts at it, but when they combined their determination with the powers they had and the people with them who were experts at fighting monsters, they were able to win.

"For now though," Drew finished as Dipper opened a portal in the alley for them, "Let's just hope we can enjoy this victory… and get some rest."

= - = 3-9 = - =​

Power moves only.

 

[The Ero-Sennin]

Time for some catharsis! To quote the Lion formerly known as Taka.

= - = 3-10 = - =

|King Jeremy the Wicked|​

On Monday afternoon, Sensei Brantley's Dojo was livelier than usual, with its students gathered around the Bleachers to all get a first -and account of the chaotic scene that descended upon Echo Creek Park yesterday morning. It was the talk of the town, indeed the entire city of LA was talking about the supposed fight between monsters and armored warriors that ended in a bright flash that rattled the neighborhood and could be seen for kilometers.

"… Despite Sensei's best efforts to keep him from getting beat up, he and Marco were suddenly surrounded on all sides by Scabs. Typhus and Snake Head had them dead to rights, and that would've been the end of it, if they hadn't made one fatal mistake." Jeremy explained to the crowd of students surrounding him. Brantley had gone next door to get smoothies, and the class was awaiting his return.

"What happened?" A girl close to his age asked.

Jeremy tightened his black belt and smirked. "They thought I was a pushover."

He struck a fighting stance. "The moment the Scabs got within reach, I wrecked one with an uppercut and took down the other with a flying axe kick."

In a flash he performed the moves described. "The other Scabs forgot all about Sensei and Marco and came right for me."

The same girl gasped. "Weren't you scared?!"

"Nope!" Jeremy oozed smug from every pore as he tilted his nose up. "I'm a black belt after all, it wasn't a big deal."

Another of the students, Hunter, rolled his eyes. "Bull. Marco could probably take on all those Scabs by himself, but you? Nah."

Jeremy turned to face the other student. "Nuh uh! Marco spent like five minutes being chased around by the snake, I told you that! Sensei had to actually save him from it!"

He shot Hunter a dirty look and turned back to his younger peers. "So, you know, I'm styling all over the Scabs because I'm so small and quick, right? But then Typhus grabs Sensei and says he's gonna kill him if I don't stop beating up his dudes. Marco just kinda breaks down and says 'please, don't kill my sensei!' and he's about to cry like this big stupid baby, when all of a sudden the Beetleborgs–the real Beetleborgs–show up out of nowhere and they just start blasting!"

"The Beetleborgs aren't real," Hunter chimed in.

"Yeah they are!" Jeremy shouted.

Another younger boy spoke up. "My Uncle was walking his dog at the park, and he saw the Beetleborgs there, too. He thought it was costumes, but they started shooting stuff and he ran away."

"See? I told you!" Jeremy turned his nose up. "Sensei will tell you what happened when he gets here."

He wore his nasty little smile. He's gonna make sure our stories lined up nice and tight if he knew what was good for his dojo.

"So anyway, the Beetleborgs show up and they are just so cool shooting the Magnavores and stuff. Reddle and I even teamed up against Typhus and sent him flying into the lake!"

The child who spoke up for him gasped. "Cool!"

Hunter sighed. "You're gonna look so weak when Marco gets here."

Jeremy grinned and turned to face Hunter. "Yeah right. Marco quit."

Hunter looked down at Jeremy. "No he didn't."

"He totally did, Saturday." Jeremy let out a cocksure laugh. "So that loser won't be showing up around here ever again."

"Marco… quit?" The tone of the girl who'd been so wowed by his story poured cold tap water on Jeremy's fire. Looking around at the other kids, he could only see disappointed or distressed faces.

"So? It's just Marco. He wasn't even good."

The same boy who argued for the Beetleborgs being at the park shook his head. "What? Marco was the best."

"Yeah," another of the kids gathered to hear Jeremy's story said. "He's like the strongest of the big kids."

"He's been a Green Belt longer than most of us have been here," another kid pointed out.

Jeremy gestured to his belt. "So? Hello~! I'm a black belt? I'm better than him."

Hunter's laugh was sharp and biting. "No you're not."

"What about the times where I beat him?"

"Marco's not going to go all out on a little kid."

"Yeah, and you cheat." Another student said.

Jeremy gasped, like his good name had been sullied. "Well, what about the time he had that Monster Arm he almost killed me with?!"

"You've been using brass knuckles in your gloves way before that," Hunter said.

Jeremy's face flushed red with anger. "Nuh uh!"

Hunter turned away and snickered. "I mean, you couldn't win any other way against Marco."

Jeremy stomped up the bleachers and grabbed him by his gi–yanking him around to face him. "You really think that loser is better than me?!"

Hunter slapped Jeremy's hand away. "I'm better than you. Because you're eight, and I'm fifteen."

He got up. "But if Marco's really gone, then I'm gone. I came here to learn karate, not babysit a spoiled rich kid."

Jeremy recoiled as Hunter began walking down the bleachers. Seething, he shouted after him. "Go ahead and quit! You should be happy you got to train under the same roof as me!"

He looked at the kids closer to his age, and found they were all now glaring at him. "The heck are you looking at?"

The door opened and Sensei Brantley walked in, carrying trays of drinks. "Students! I have come bearing smoothies!"

He stopped when he saw Hunter heading towards the door. "Mr. Rodriguez, is something the matter?"

Hunter nodded. "Yeah, did Marco really quit?"

Sensei Brantley opened his mouth to respond, when Marco slipped in behind him. "Sensei and I just had a disagreement."

He looked up at his teacher. "We're good, now."

"Who said Marco quit?" Sensei Brantley asked as he handed Hunter his drink.

Everyone in the dojo pointed at Jeremy, now wide-eyed with fury and shock at the sight of Marco and the red belt around his waist. "Wh-what are you doing here?! Where'd you get that?!"

"Good question Mr. Birnbaum. Everyone, gather around." Sensei Brantley said as he and Marco moved in to set down the drinks on a table. Behind them, Drew, Jo, and Roland entered and joined the other students, already dressed in their gis.

"You might have heard some stuff but trust your Sensei," he began when everyone gathered. "Marco hasn't quit the school, in fact… he has ascended–like a great Super Saiyan–to the next level in his journey."

As soon as the drinks were set down, he gestured to Marco's red belt. "Mr. Marco Diaz is now a red belt, and you will regard him with the respect befitting of his skill and experience."

"Now." He and Marco both placed their fists into their palms. "Bow to your Sensei, and your new Assistant Sensei."

In unison, every student did as commanded–with one exception. Jeremy stormed down the bleachers and marched right up to Sensei Brantley.

"What are you doing? You can't make him your assistant!" Jeremy hollered, stomping his foot and pointing at Marco's face.

Sensei Brantley turned to Jeremy. "Mr. Birnbaum!"

His shout stopped the child mid-tantrum. "Marco has demonstrated not only that he meets the requirements to be a red belt, but has shown courage, sick skills, and the mad wisdom to be my assistant."

He looked back at Marco with an affirming nod. "There's no one else in this humble dojo I would be prouder to have helping me guide you on the path, and you will treat him with the respect he's earned."

Marco nodded to his Master. "Thank you, Sensei."

Hunter spoke up. "Heck yeah, I'm gonna tell Pete you were legit. He's gonna be so stoked."

Jeremy pulled out his phone. "We had a deal, Brantley! My Mom told you not to make him your assistant!"

The other students looked up at Jeremy, who gripped the phone and held it up into Sensei's face.

"She pays the rent for this dojo, which means I own you!" Jeremy screeched. "All she has to do is stop giving you your stupid money and then what? No more dojo! You'll just be a forty year old loser living with your Mom!"

The other students were all looking at Sensei Brantley.

"Is that true, Sensei?" One of the students asked.

Sensei Brantley looked to his students. "Class, Jeremy was right. The reason he's always had preferential treatment and junk is because his mom gave mad funds to the school, so I can keep it open."

He slumped his shoulders a little. "I'm not good at business, so I take what I can get."

"I mean, it's so obvious…" Hunter muttered.

Some of the other students murmured in agreement.

"It definitely explains everything," Jo said to Drew and Roland.

Roland nodded. "Mmhm."

"Seriously, he's a mini-Trip," Drew whispered.

Jeremy folded his arms. "So what are you waiting for, tell him he can't be your assistant!" He turned his head away from Marco and gestured to the door. "Better yet… throw Marco out of this dojo right now, I don't want to see his stupid face anymore."

"No."

Jeremy stopped, turned his head, and glared at Brantley for even daring to say that word. "… No?"

"You remember when I showed up at the park yesterday, right? I wanted to apologize to Marco because Roland's grandma came over to my house and threw me out of my own bedroom window." Sensei Brantley explained.

Drew and Jo looked over at Roland, who shrugged his shoulders. All agreed that it was something that Nano would do though.

Sensei Brantley turned to the other students. "She did it because I had actually made up that junk about Marco needing to be a red belt to be my assistant."

Sensei Brantley lowered his head in shame as his students gasped. "And I made that junk up because Jeremy told his mom to threaten to pull money from the school if I made Marco my assistant, and I couldn't just tell him that because… you know… I was afraid of hurting his feelings after I had been so stoked before."

He stopped and realized what he said. "By the way, guys? Don't do that. Lying to your friends and not being up front with them will only totally backfire and blow up in your face later."

All eyes in the dojo fell again on Jeremy.

"Wow, Jeremy, wow," Hunter said.

"You cried to your Mommy to mess with Marco?! You jerk!" One of the girls yelled at him.

"You always sucked but dude, that's pathetic!" Another boy called out.

"The word you're looking for is 'psychopathic,'" Drew suggested.

"That too!"

Jeremy backed away from the angry kids and held up his phone. "Yeah! So what?! I can call my mom right now and she'll have this whole dojo shut down in a second. Then none of you will have your stupid karate!"

Jo called from the back. "Why would you even do that?!"

The frustration of all these kids taking shots at him boiled over. "Because I'm better than you! That's why!"

"Jeremy, stop," Sensei Brantley said.

Jeremy turned to face him. "You don't tell me what to do! I still own you!"

"No you don't," Sensei Brantley said. "Well, not anymore."

Jeremy's mouth fell open. "Huh?"

The door opened and Dipper stuck his head in. "Hey, Sensei Brantley? We're here."

Sensei Brantley brightened and waved to him. "Oh, right on time. Come on in." He turned to his students. "I've got great news for all of you, you're gonna love this."

The door opened again, and Dipper walked in followed by Mabel, Misao, Shermie, Nano Williams herself, and the Manager from the VHS Depot–the towering martial artist making even the tall Pines twins seem short by comparison.

"I'm super bad at business," Sensei Brantley admitted. "But Nano's not and she got me in touch with a few local folks who'd be happy to cover the rent, so I didn't have to give preferential treatment to one bratty student."

He looked to his class. "So from now on, guys, the rules that I kinda sorta let Jeremy break now apply to him, too."

Marco looked over at Jeremy and smiled with all his satisfied malice. "And you can't get your way by extorting Sensei."

As the class broke into celebration. Nano counted the number of students and hummed. "My, my, Brantley. You've got a bigger school than I thought. This could be a good investment for me, and you."

"Well, yeah. I may be super bad at numbers, but you know what I am good at?"

He struck a fighting pose. "Teaching how to kick butt!"

"I'll say!" Marco testified.

Nano hummed. "How have you kept this place open, though?"

Sensei Brantley gestured to Marco. "He's been balancing my budget for the last three years."

"It's true," Marco said.

The VHS Depot Manager perked up. "Can you do taxes?"

Marco cracked his knuckles. "Can John Woo choreograph a gunfight?"

Jeremy Birnbaum froze in place, his mind trying to comprehend what was happening. From his earliest memory, the one thing he knew was that he was special, and that he could have anything he wanted. All he had to do was ask and his mother would give it to him. If asking didn't work, he could yell. If yelling didn't work, he could scream. If he screamed long enough, he would be denied nothing. T

hat was the guiding logic of his young life, whatever he wanted was his. People existed only to get him what he wanted, and no one could defy him.

He began to hyperventilate, his face colored first a red and then almost turned purple. He glared at Marco as tears began to fill his eyes. "No…"

With a mighty stomp of his feet, Jeremy looked wildly across the adults gathered and shrieked. "NO! I'M GONNA TELL MY MOM AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO! YOU'RE ALL GONNA PAY FOR THINKING YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO! SO SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

Nano winced. "Lord have mercy, the lungs on that child."

Shermie dug his finger into one ear. "Oy gevalt, you can hear this putz all the way back in the old country…"

The VHS Depot Manager hummed. "This is what I imagine r/movies sounds like in Real Life."

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

Misao looked at Marco. "How can one boy be so spoiled?!"

"He's an only child!" Drew shouted back.

Marco clapped his hands over his ears. "I'm an only child too, how did he turn out this bad?"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

"I know, right?!" Roland called out over the shrieking, while Jo covered her ears before they bled.

"What?!" Marco yelled back as Jeremy only got louder.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP-!"

Jeremy's temper tantrum ended when he was grabbed from behind and yanked off the ground by Mabel–who muffled him with her hand clamped tightly over his mouth. Next to her, Dipper stood with his arms akimbo, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Man," he said, "I expected a little brat, but this? This kid's a full Gideon Gleeful."

"And you know what we do with Lil' Gideons, right, bro-bro?" Mabel asked.

Dipper nodded and walked over to the door to open it for her. "After you."

As everyone watched, Mabel carried the thrashing child out of the Dojo and over to a garbage can that sat between the dojo and the yogurt shop next door. Seeing the garbage can, Jeremy's struggles intensified, and when Dipper lifted the lid off the garbage can, he began kicking at Mabel in vain.

When she let go of Jeremy's mouth to hoist him above his head, Jeremy shrieked. "LET GO! I'M GOING TO TELL MY MOM! PUT ME DOWN PUT ME DOWN! AHHHHHH!!"

Ignoring his cries, Mabel slammed Jeremy into the half-full garbage can and when she pulled back Dipper grabbed his still kicking legs and shoved him further into the mostly yogurt and paper cup filth that filled the bottom.

"AHHH! IT'S GROSS! LET ME OUT! AHHHH! AHHHHH!" Jeremy screamed as he struggled.

Dipper scanned the lot, and noticed a man dressed like a butler watching the scene with a dispassionate expression. He pointed at the can. "Hey, does this trash belong to you?"

When the butler nodded, Dipper tipped the can over onto its side, and Mabel kicked it hard as she could, sending it rolling over towards the Butler, to Jeremy's further distress. "PPPBBT! EEW IT GOT IN MY MOUTH!"

Walking around in front of the rolling barrel, the Butler stopped it with his foot and put on a pair of rubber gloves, before extracting the blubbering and sobbing Jeremy out of it and into the back seat of the car. He turned to the Pines Twins, as Brantley and Marco came out to watch the scene.

"I will inform the Mistress that young Jeremy will be out of martial arts classes for several days." The butler said, before he walked around to the driver's side of the car–with a skip in his step.

As Jeremy's car backed out and pulled away, Marco looked at Dipper and Mabel. "You know what? If I had half the nerve you two do? I would've done that to Jeremy a lo-o-ong time ago."

"Yeah, and Jeremy's Mom would've sued my Mom's pants off." Brantley looked at Dipper and Mabel. "You guys got a good lawyer?"

"Oh please," Mabel said. "What would she sue us for?"

Dipper nodded. "Escorting her son out of the dojo so his butler can take him home?"

Marco lit up in recognition. "Yeah, that's all that happened here." He looked at Brantley. "Right?"
Brantley stared at Marco, uncomprehending–before it clicked. "Oh–ohhh! Yeah, that's totally all that happened." He peeked back into the dojo. "Right guys?"

The consensus inside the dojo, from students to its new sponsors, was unanimous that nothing happened.

Brantley led the group back in. "Well then, how about we kick off our lesson for the day. All right guys, get your smoothies in you and prepare yourselves. For today, two mighty dragons soar over this dojo…" He looked aside to Marco and raised his fist. "… And they are as strict masters as they are fearsome warriors!"

Looking back and forth between his Sensei's fist and his face, Marco smiled and returned the fist bump. "That's right!"

With burning enthusiasm, the class–its newest students included–chorused together. "Yes, Sensei!"

As the class got under way, Dipper, Mabel, and Misao sat down on the bleachers with the dojo's other new sponsors to watch. To their surprise, they found Star sitting at the end, having slipped in via Dimensional Scissors.

"Huh, you came to watch Marco train?" Misao asked.

"Well, yeah!" Star replied. "Marco loves karate, and he's made up with his teacher! I'm not gonna miss that for the world!" She stood up and waved. "Hi Marco! Don't forget to show them your cool karate chops!"

"I won't, Star," Marco called back.

"Marco-sensei, is that your girlfriend?" One of the Jeremy-aged students asked.

"W-what?! P-Pay attention! Eyes forward!"

"Yes, Sensei~!" The kids replied before they began chanting. "Marco's got a girlfriend!" to his embarrassment.

Star blushed, feeling a little caught out herself, and looked off to the side. "Hee…"

As the others laughed, Misao thought about how well the toppling of Jeremy's reign went, and the seeds of an idea were planted in her mind. She let out a small, barely audible hum, and pulled out her phone to look at her contact list. Scrolling through it, her thumb came to rest on a contact listed "Mother."

= - = 3-10 = - =​

Long live the king.