- Location
- Spain
Having Yui around has really done wonders for his mental state.
Let's see how long that lasts...
-
Going forward, links to content from Twitter (now X) will no longer be embedded. Pre-existing links should not be affected.
Legacy of the Forgotten (Fantasy NGE AU)
- Thread starter Gryphon
- Start date
Having Yui around has really done wonders for his mental state.
Let's see how long that lasts...
Ranma-sensei
Sorcerer
- Location
- Citrix Receiver
- Pronouns
- Weatherdependent
A self-deprecating Gendoh - will wonders never cease?
on
The first would be better if changed to a semicolon, and the second needs to be upper-cased
Should be a comma.
- Location
- Spain
"How are the layers of armour holding up? ...What?! What do you mean it blew through sixteen in one single pass?! Shit... these 'LIKES' are getting more and more dangerous each day..."
Thanks for the kind words. Unfortunately, the chances of me pulling a Stryp and rewarding your efforts with an update by tomorrow are slim to none. You'll have to wait until next week, I'm afraid.
You could argue that Gendo was also self-deprecating back in canon, he just hid it well for most of the series. The reasons for his inner turmoil are different between here and there of course, but I'm not really changing him all that much, all things considered.
Last edited:
Ranma-sensei
Sorcerer
- Location
- Citrix Receiver
- Pronouns
- Weatherdependent
Stargrave
Wine-drinking evil
- Location
- The White City
Does "primate" have a different connotation in other languages? Because all I can think about now is Naoko Akagi swinging from a tire and eating a banana.
I like the snippet mostly for everything that it seems to foreshadow about the politics of Akuro and what sort of a role it will play in the story.
I like the snippet mostly for everything that it seems to foreshadow about the politics of Akuro and what sort of a role it will play in the story.
- Location
- Spain
One of the highest positions in the Anglican Church, courtesy of Ranma-sensei.
As far as the politics goes, I'm still not too sure on how deep I want to go into them for fear of seriously screwing something up and/or slowing things down even more. There will definitely be some more development going into that front, though, which will be Gendo's main role in the story for now.
Chapter 11-2
- Location
- Spain
Update time. Apologies if the second half of the snippet looks somewhat less inspired, I've had quite the shitty and tiresome week.
This is the first time we see magic actually in action in the story, and not unintentionally choking redheads half to death. I'm probably going to explain the workings behind Anima magic a little bit more in the future, but let me know if you feel that some particular aspect isn't too clear yet.
As always, do leave a comment if it suits you, dear reader.
Chapter 11.2:
An elegant hand turned the wooden crank to the side, and the small, makeshift catapult came to life in a flurry of movement. Three small balls of clay came out of the device's cloth basket and soared through the air towards the centre of the archery grounds.
"Zan!"
In time with the feminine shouting of that single word, three emerald-tinged wind currents struck the clay formation and completely stopped their horizontal movement, allowing gravity to pull them back to the ground; two of the three spheres split in half on contact with the floor, a perfect cut running through the middle.
And Rei Ikari stared at the third, untouched orb in surprise.
"That is strange," Rei focused her eyes on the voice, coming from beside the small trebuchet. "You haven't missed any targets in this exercise in a long time, dear. Is something the matter?"
"It's nothing," the bluenette shook her head and passed the back of her hand through her brow. It came out wet with sweat. "I used a bit more mana than I had intended to, and it must have thrown my aim off. It won't happen again."
"I see," Yui answered, checking on her daughter's state. "Stay focused, then. Remember, absolute control over their inner mana should be any magus' utmost priority. Power should always be subordinate to control."
"Yes, mother." Rei took a long, deep breath and got back into position, eyes closed and arms at her sides. "I'm ready. Launch the next batch."
Yui nodded, and took four more clay targets from a small, wooden basket. She then cranked the small catapult back and put the balls in the device.
Through the entirety of the short process, Rei kept her eyes closed and her breathing steady. So deeply entranced, that any passerby could have easily thought the girl asleep on her feet.
The elder Ikari turned the release crank sideways, and the clay flew once again.
Her daughter's eyes shot open and locked onto the targets, and Yui felt the familiar release of a burst of mana wash over her body as Rei crossed her arms in front of her face. Almost shaking with power, the bluenette stepped forward and brought her arms back down in a slicing motion, creating a pair of blades of wind to intercept her marks.
"Zan!"
A heartbeat later, the quartet of clay targets hit the ground and split apart, perfectly.
And Yui wished that she had a sightsphere on hand, ready to record the proud smile that Rei sent her way. Alas, it was not to be, so she settled for mirroring the gesture; the measure of accuracy needed to strike four moving targets with half as many projectiles was nothing to scoff at, after all, so her daughter had more than earned some praise.
The fact that Rei's body was shaking slightly wasn't lost on her, though.
Yui checked on the position of the sun and saw it approaching its highest point. That meant that they had been practicing for roughly two hours now, more than enough for a single day's work.
It was time to end today's lesson.
"That was very nicely done, Bluebird dear, you have outdone yourself today," commended the brunette, turning to grab hold of the basket full of practice targets. "But that is enough for one day, I feel. Help me tidy this up and-"
"No!" the bluenette interrupted. "I can keep going."
Surprised at Rei's interjection, Yui looked at her daughter quizzically. "I disagree. You energy is clearly spent, dear. Considering that fatigue was probably the reason behind your loss of focus before, it is better for us to finish the day's training here."
But, in a rare show of stubbornness, Rei shook her head. "Nonsense. I can do more than this."
"Steady advancement is always preferable to reckless growth, Rei. Pushing your limits too far will do little more than hurt you."
"And never pushing those limits will only serve to stagnate my progress!"
Yui raised an eyebrow as she silently tried to make sense of this surprising twist.
To say that it was uncommon for Rei to show this much vehemence in any matter unrelated to Shinji would be an understatement. She had most definitely never questioned her counsel in any of their previous lessons (or anything related to magic, as a matter of fact), since her daughter was very much aware of the risks the usage of Anima magic could entail; her actions were very much unlike the bluenette.
Clearly, and despite her previous words, something was bothering her.
And Yui could get an inkling as to what it was.
"Please, Mother," Rei insisted. "One more time."
The elder Ikari fixed her stare on the young mage, hoping to dissuade her from continuing further, but her efforts were for naught, the bluenette's determined gaze proving more than a match for her own.
"As you wish." With a sigh, Yui fished three more targets from the basket and turned to the catapult once again.
Rei, for her part, closed her eyes once more and focused her mind and body in the manner that she had done countless times before. The ghostly sensation of her inner mana swirled gently inside her and throughout her entire body, as the girl tried her best to direct a portion of the unruly and unpredictable current to her fingertips.
Like running water, trying to force the flowing mana to change direction would not do, as there was simply no way of willing it to do so. Instead, something akin to channels had to be created and modified in order to funnel the flow to where it needed to be, something that was far easier said than done.
The fact that her own mother used to be able to achieve such a feat with barely a thought would never cease to amaze her.
Rei heard the catapult's crank be released, and the device launched its payload through the air for a third time.
That was as far as the repeat performance would go, however.
Normally, the bluenette would have allowed her inner mana to escape in such a way so as to create the blades of wind that she had been using throughout the entire morning. It was a simple spell and one that she had mastered, requiring little more than the knowledge of how to focus inner mana on different parts of the body.
But it was time to try something different.
Inside of Rei's practice robes, a tattered old book suddenly came to life, golden arcane runes inscribed on its cover blazing brightly. Long unused words of power became activated by an influx of mana, and the medium did that which it had been created for.
Rei Ikari opened her eyes, and a kind of raw power that she had only felt a handful of times before flowed through her entire body.
The bluenette shot her right arm upwards and the forces of nature responded, a strong current shooting skyward to meet the moving targets. Her left arm sliced downwards and another drift dived on the clay pieces from above.
The two streams of wind met in the middle, just as the young mage joined her palms in front of her in the shape of a small ball.
And before her crimson gaze, a small hurricane formed and encompassed her intended marks, making them spin wildly within its confines.
Rei's eyes widened in surprise at the results, and she immediately tried to push her achievement even further by commanding the winds to crash the small pieces of mud into the ground.
But her efforts were for naught, as she found herself forced to dedicate every fibre of her being to just maintaining the cage she had created. And soon, she would not be able manage even that.
So close, yet so far.
Frustration mounted inside her, but the young mage refused to give up; she only needed just a little bit more.
There was still something she could do.
Emboldened by her earlier success, Rei reached deeper within herself, and tapped into her legacy.
From the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of her mother, caught somewhere between awe and horror.
And, for an instant, the small gale that hovered over the archery range became a veritable cyclone. One that buffeted the entire area mercilessly and that would have surely caused severe damage.
Had the spell not ended with Rei Ikari's pained screams.
The winds that kept the clay spheres trapped subsided, and the three targets shot off at high speeds in different directions, eventually breaking against the ground.
And Yui Ikari quickly rushed to her daughter's side as the bluenette fell to the ground, noticeable tremors going through her frame.
The older woman crouched next to Rei and quickly pulled her into a sitting position.
"How many?!" She asked, pressing her hand on the bluenette's back as if searching for something.
In between convulsions, the hurting girl barely managed to breathe out a single, broken word. "F-Four..."
"Four?! Damn it, what in blazes where you thinking, child?!"
Pulling her daughter closer to her bosom, Yui fished around inside of the pocket in her sleeve and took out something from it, holding her hand in front of the girl's mouth immediately after.
"Here," she commanded, "Eat."
Weakly, Rei complied, ingesting the offered substance like a wounded animal.
As soon as she finished swallowing Yui held the whimpering girl close, massaging her back and the nape of her neck in an effort to make the painful experience more manageable for the bluenette.
"Let this serve as a lesson to you, Rei. Magi who forget their place are bound to be consumed by the forces they seek to control," the elder Ikari whispered, soothing yet admonishing, and kissed the top of her daughter's head. "Even more so, in your case."
The girl offered no response, shivering as she was, and Yui kept on comforting her. A pair of bewildered guards soon arrived to investigate the reason behind all the commotion, but a dismissing wave of Yui's hand quickly brought them back to their posts. She could tell by the worried look on their faces that there would be murmurings around the castle for a time to come, but that was a problem for another time.
Eventually, Rei's shaking subsided for the most part and her mother let out a relieved breath.
"I-I'm s-sorry." The bluenette managed through chattering teeth.
"You should be. You scared me to death, dear."
"No," the girl shook her head as hard as she could in her frankly pitiful state. "I'm sorry for b-being so weak. I m-must get s-stronger."
"You 'must' get stronger?" Yui pushed her daughter back to arm's length, looking her in the eye. "Where is this coming from, and how exactly do you intend to achieve it? Risking yourself isn't the way to go about it, dear."
"But I can't waste anymore time! I've been training f-for all these y-years and I can barely use the most b-basic of your tomes!"
"Don't be foolish, girl, your control over the elements is remarkable for someone of your age. I do not like the fact that you pilfered it without my permission, but few so young would have been able to even activate an Elwind tome, let alone have the spell materialize."
"But-!"
"No buts! I see that my words yesterday shook you more than I had expected if you were willing to go as far as you did when you know that you are not ready." Blue met red as Yui made sure to fully maintain her daughter's attention. "Promise me that you'll never do anything like this again until I consider it appropriate, Rei."
"...I promise," The young girl broke eye contact, staring at the ground in shame. "Sorry for worrying you, Mother."
A flicker of regret passed through the woman's expression at the words and she pulled Rei back into a tight hug, causing the bluenette fell into the unexpected embrace with a startled yelp.
Caring, determined, skilled, and intelligent. All things considered, Yui really couldn't have asked for a finer young woman to call her daughter. However, she would have certainly liked to appeal for a better fate than what awaited the young Ikari.
Unfortunately, Fate was a cruel mistress most of the time.
"No, I'm the one who should apologise for forcing you to go through this, Bluebird dear. I wish that it didn't have to be like this."
"But it's not your fault!" Rei interjected, her voice muffled slightly by her position. "The prophecy-"
Harried steps rushed to their position and Yui silenced her daughter with a finger to her lips. Turning to the source of the noise, both women were met with an out-of-breath looking soldier bowing deeply.
Yui glared at him through cobalt eyes, silently ordering the young man to start talking.
"E-Excuse me, my Lady," the militiaman nervously weathered his liege's dirty stare. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Ikari-sama is requesting your presence over at the infirmary."
"The infirmary?" Yui hastily stood up at the news, and helped Rei back to her feet. "Did something happen?"
"Not to Ikari-sama himself, my Lady. High Priestess Akagi arrived at the castle gates a few minutes ago, requesting entrance into the walls."
"Ritsuko?" Yui narrowed her eyes at the news; the young soldier squirmed further. "Strange, she is not supposed to arrive in Akuro for another month."
"Indeed, my Lady. Akagi-san said that she would soon tell Ikari-sama about the reason for her premature arrival, but practically begged to be allowed into the infirmary first," his liege raised a curious eyebrow at that, and the young man elaborated. "One of the members of her entourage suffered a nasty wound to the head and she needed to be properly treated. We saw no reason to object."
"And you did well," Yui concurred. "Thank you, I will proceed to the infirmary shortly. Return to your duties."
"By your leave, my Lady."
The militiaman bowed, turned, and left from where he had come, quickly leaving the two women alone once again.
His sigh of relief nearly echoed through the entire expanse.
Wasting no time, Rei briskly walked past Yui. "We should go as soon as possible, Mother."
But the bluenette was forced to a stop when a tight grip caught a hold of her wrist.
"I'm afraid not, young lady," Yui interrupted, in a tone of voice that any child in the world would be able to recognize. "I will go to the infirmary as soon as possible, while you go take a bath. Afterwards, you are going to go back to your room and rest."
For a split-second, Rei considered appealing otherwise. Her words died when she noticed the look in her mother's eye, though.
No arguing would be had at this point.
Resigned to doing as she was told, Rei hung her head and allowed herself to be led out of the archery range. "Yes, Mother."
This is the first time we see magic actually in action in the story, and not unintentionally choking redheads half to death. I'm probably going to explain the workings behind Anima magic a little bit more in the future, but let me know if you feel that some particular aspect isn't too clear yet.
As always, do leave a comment if it suits you, dear reader.
Chapter 11.2:
An elegant hand turned the wooden crank to the side, and the small, makeshift catapult came to life in a flurry of movement. Three small balls of clay came out of the device's cloth basket and soared through the air towards the centre of the archery grounds.
"Zan!"
In time with the feminine shouting of that single word, three emerald-tinged wind currents struck the clay formation and completely stopped their horizontal movement, allowing gravity to pull them back to the ground; two of the three spheres split in half on contact with the floor, a perfect cut running through the middle.
And Rei Ikari stared at the third, untouched orb in surprise.
"That is strange," Rei focused her eyes on the voice, coming from beside the small trebuchet. "You haven't missed any targets in this exercise in a long time, dear. Is something the matter?"
"It's nothing," the bluenette shook her head and passed the back of her hand through her brow. It came out wet with sweat. "I used a bit more mana than I had intended to, and it must have thrown my aim off. It won't happen again."
"I see," Yui answered, checking on her daughter's state. "Stay focused, then. Remember, absolute control over their inner mana should be any magus' utmost priority. Power should always be subordinate to control."
"Yes, mother." Rei took a long, deep breath and got back into position, eyes closed and arms at her sides. "I'm ready. Launch the next batch."
Yui nodded, and took four more clay targets from a small, wooden basket. She then cranked the small catapult back and put the balls in the device.
Through the entirety of the short process, Rei kept her eyes closed and her breathing steady. So deeply entranced, that any passerby could have easily thought the girl asleep on her feet.
The elder Ikari turned the release crank sideways, and the clay flew once again.
Her daughter's eyes shot open and locked onto the targets, and Yui felt the familiar release of a burst of mana wash over her body as Rei crossed her arms in front of her face. Almost shaking with power, the bluenette stepped forward and brought her arms back down in a slicing motion, creating a pair of blades of wind to intercept her marks.
"Zan!"
A heartbeat later, the quartet of clay targets hit the ground and split apart, perfectly.
And Yui wished that she had a sightsphere on hand, ready to record the proud smile that Rei sent her way. Alas, it was not to be, so she settled for mirroring the gesture; the measure of accuracy needed to strike four moving targets with half as many projectiles was nothing to scoff at, after all, so her daughter had more than earned some praise.
The fact that Rei's body was shaking slightly wasn't lost on her, though.
Yui checked on the position of the sun and saw it approaching its highest point. That meant that they had been practicing for roughly two hours now, more than enough for a single day's work.
It was time to end today's lesson.
"That was very nicely done, Bluebird dear, you have outdone yourself today," commended the brunette, turning to grab hold of the basket full of practice targets. "But that is enough for one day, I feel. Help me tidy this up and-"
"No!" the bluenette interrupted. "I can keep going."
Surprised at Rei's interjection, Yui looked at her daughter quizzically. "I disagree. You energy is clearly spent, dear. Considering that fatigue was probably the reason behind your loss of focus before, it is better for us to finish the day's training here."
But, in a rare show of stubbornness, Rei shook her head. "Nonsense. I can do more than this."
"Steady advancement is always preferable to reckless growth, Rei. Pushing your limits too far will do little more than hurt you."
"And never pushing those limits will only serve to stagnate my progress!"
Yui raised an eyebrow as she silently tried to make sense of this surprising twist.
To say that it was uncommon for Rei to show this much vehemence in any matter unrelated to Shinji would be an understatement. She had most definitely never questioned her counsel in any of their previous lessons (or anything related to magic, as a matter of fact), since her daughter was very much aware of the risks the usage of Anima magic could entail; her actions were very much unlike the bluenette.
Clearly, and despite her previous words, something was bothering her.
And Yui could get an inkling as to what it was.
"Please, Mother," Rei insisted. "One more time."
The elder Ikari fixed her stare on the young mage, hoping to dissuade her from continuing further, but her efforts were for naught, the bluenette's determined gaze proving more than a match for her own.
"As you wish." With a sigh, Yui fished three more targets from the basket and turned to the catapult once again.
Rei, for her part, closed her eyes once more and focused her mind and body in the manner that she had done countless times before. The ghostly sensation of her inner mana swirled gently inside her and throughout her entire body, as the girl tried her best to direct a portion of the unruly and unpredictable current to her fingertips.
Like running water, trying to force the flowing mana to change direction would not do, as there was simply no way of willing it to do so. Instead, something akin to channels had to be created and modified in order to funnel the flow to where it needed to be, something that was far easier said than done.
The fact that her own mother used to be able to achieve such a feat with barely a thought would never cease to amaze her.
Rei heard the catapult's crank be released, and the device launched its payload through the air for a third time.
That was as far as the repeat performance would go, however.
Normally, the bluenette would have allowed her inner mana to escape in such a way so as to create the blades of wind that she had been using throughout the entire morning. It was a simple spell and one that she had mastered, requiring little more than the knowledge of how to focus inner mana on different parts of the body.
But it was time to try something different.
Inside of Rei's practice robes, a tattered old book suddenly came to life, golden arcane runes inscribed on its cover blazing brightly. Long unused words of power became activated by an influx of mana, and the medium did that which it had been created for.
Rei Ikari opened her eyes, and a kind of raw power that she had only felt a handful of times before flowed through her entire body.
The bluenette shot her right arm upwards and the forces of nature responded, a strong current shooting skyward to meet the moving targets. Her left arm sliced downwards and another drift dived on the clay pieces from above.
The two streams of wind met in the middle, just as the young mage joined her palms in front of her in the shape of a small ball.
And before her crimson gaze, a small hurricane formed and encompassed her intended marks, making them spin wildly within its confines.
Rei's eyes widened in surprise at the results, and she immediately tried to push her achievement even further by commanding the winds to crash the small pieces of mud into the ground.
But her efforts were for naught, as she found herself forced to dedicate every fibre of her being to just maintaining the cage she had created. And soon, she would not be able manage even that.
So close, yet so far.
Frustration mounted inside her, but the young mage refused to give up; she only needed just a little bit more.
There was still something she could do.
Emboldened by her earlier success, Rei reached deeper within herself, and tapped into her legacy.
From the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of her mother, caught somewhere between awe and horror.
And, for an instant, the small gale that hovered over the archery range became a veritable cyclone. One that buffeted the entire area mercilessly and that would have surely caused severe damage.
Had the spell not ended with Rei Ikari's pained screams.
The winds that kept the clay spheres trapped subsided, and the three targets shot off at high speeds in different directions, eventually breaking against the ground.
And Yui Ikari quickly rushed to her daughter's side as the bluenette fell to the ground, noticeable tremors going through her frame.
The older woman crouched next to Rei and quickly pulled her into a sitting position.
"How many?!" She asked, pressing her hand on the bluenette's back as if searching for something.
In between convulsions, the hurting girl barely managed to breathe out a single, broken word. "F-Four..."
"Four?! Damn it, what in blazes where you thinking, child?!"
Pulling her daughter closer to her bosom, Yui fished around inside of the pocket in her sleeve and took out something from it, holding her hand in front of the girl's mouth immediately after.
"Here," she commanded, "Eat."
Weakly, Rei complied, ingesting the offered substance like a wounded animal.
As soon as she finished swallowing Yui held the whimpering girl close, massaging her back and the nape of her neck in an effort to make the painful experience more manageable for the bluenette.
"Let this serve as a lesson to you, Rei. Magi who forget their place are bound to be consumed by the forces they seek to control," the elder Ikari whispered, soothing yet admonishing, and kissed the top of her daughter's head. "Even more so, in your case."
The girl offered no response, shivering as she was, and Yui kept on comforting her. A pair of bewildered guards soon arrived to investigate the reason behind all the commotion, but a dismissing wave of Yui's hand quickly brought them back to their posts. She could tell by the worried look on their faces that there would be murmurings around the castle for a time to come, but that was a problem for another time.
Eventually, Rei's shaking subsided for the most part and her mother let out a relieved breath.
"I-I'm s-sorry." The bluenette managed through chattering teeth.
"You should be. You scared me to death, dear."
"No," the girl shook her head as hard as she could in her frankly pitiful state. "I'm sorry for b-being so weak. I m-must get s-stronger."
"You 'must' get stronger?" Yui pushed her daughter back to arm's length, looking her in the eye. "Where is this coming from, and how exactly do you intend to achieve it? Risking yourself isn't the way to go about it, dear."
"But I can't waste anymore time! I've been training f-for all these y-years and I can barely use the most b-basic of your tomes!"
"Don't be foolish, girl, your control over the elements is remarkable for someone of your age. I do not like the fact that you pilfered it without my permission, but few so young would have been able to even activate an Elwind tome, let alone have the spell materialize."
"But-!"
"No buts! I see that my words yesterday shook you more than I had expected if you were willing to go as far as you did when you know that you are not ready." Blue met red as Yui made sure to fully maintain her daughter's attention. "Promise me that you'll never do anything like this again until I consider it appropriate, Rei."
"...I promise," The young girl broke eye contact, staring at the ground in shame. "Sorry for worrying you, Mother."
A flicker of regret passed through the woman's expression at the words and she pulled Rei back into a tight hug, causing the bluenette fell into the unexpected embrace with a startled yelp.
Caring, determined, skilled, and intelligent. All things considered, Yui really couldn't have asked for a finer young woman to call her daughter. However, she would have certainly liked to appeal for a better fate than what awaited the young Ikari.
Unfortunately, Fate was a cruel mistress most of the time.
"No, I'm the one who should apologise for forcing you to go through this, Bluebird dear. I wish that it didn't have to be like this."
"But it's not your fault!" Rei interjected, her voice muffled slightly by her position. "The prophecy-"
Harried steps rushed to their position and Yui silenced her daughter with a finger to her lips. Turning to the source of the noise, both women were met with an out-of-breath looking soldier bowing deeply.
Yui glared at him through cobalt eyes, silently ordering the young man to start talking.
"E-Excuse me, my Lady," the militiaman nervously weathered his liege's dirty stare. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Ikari-sama is requesting your presence over at the infirmary."
"The infirmary?" Yui hastily stood up at the news, and helped Rei back to her feet. "Did something happen?"
"Not to Ikari-sama himself, my Lady. High Priestess Akagi arrived at the castle gates a few minutes ago, requesting entrance into the walls."
"Ritsuko?" Yui narrowed her eyes at the news; the young soldier squirmed further. "Strange, she is not supposed to arrive in Akuro for another month."
"Indeed, my Lady. Akagi-san said that she would soon tell Ikari-sama about the reason for her premature arrival, but practically begged to be allowed into the infirmary first," his liege raised a curious eyebrow at that, and the young man elaborated. "One of the members of her entourage suffered a nasty wound to the head and she needed to be properly treated. We saw no reason to object."
"And you did well," Yui concurred. "Thank you, I will proceed to the infirmary shortly. Return to your duties."
"By your leave, my Lady."
The militiaman bowed, turned, and left from where he had come, quickly leaving the two women alone once again.
His sigh of relief nearly echoed through the entire expanse.
Wasting no time, Rei briskly walked past Yui. "We should go as soon as possible, Mother."
But the bluenette was forced to a stop when a tight grip caught a hold of her wrist.
"I'm afraid not, young lady," Yui interrupted, in a tone of voice that any child in the world would be able to recognize. "I will go to the infirmary as soon as possible, while you go take a bath. Afterwards, you are going to go back to your room and rest."
For a split-second, Rei considered appealing otherwise. Her words died when she noticed the look in her mother's eye, though.
No arguing would be had at this point.
Resigned to doing as she was told, Rei hung her head and allowed herself to be led out of the archery range. "Yes, Mother."
Ranma-sensei
Sorcerer
- Location
- Citrix Receiver
- Pronouns
- Weatherdependent
Looking good, though you should probably explain for some readers' benefit what the term 'tome' encompasses in Fire Emblem, and consequently, your story.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Listen to your mother, Rei...
- Location
- Spain
True, I'll see where I can dedicate a few lines to it. Although, to be honest, it's still going to be pretty much made-up or following the most popular fandom theories, since Intelligent Systems never really bothered to explain the way magic works in most of the universes.
Stargrave
Wine-drinking evil
- Location
- The White City
Man, Asuka probably fell to the center of the Earth by now.
Rei seems to have a bit of a pathological obsession going on. I wanna say this is an interesting twist from the regular Rei, but personally I dislike characters who are obsessed with getting stronger, so bleh.
Rei seems to have a bit of a pathological obsession going on. I wanna say this is an interesting twist from the regular Rei, but personally I dislike characters who are obsessed with getting stronger, so bleh.
- Location
- Spain
Man, Asuka probably fell to the center of the Earth by now.
She went Magma Diving.
Bad jokes aside, we are actually not going to see her for a few updates. Got some loose ends to tie up before we see what became of her.
Rei seems to have a bit of a pathological obsession going on. I wanna say this is an interesting twist from the regular Rei, but personally I dislike characters who are obsessed with getting stronger, so bleh.
More a fear than an obsession, but you could make the case of those two being related. Rei knows that something is coming, and she dreads that she may not be ready for it.
Making that a cornerstone of her character is not in the initial plans, but the idea may end up showing up from time to time, depending on how her character, Shinji's, and the overall story develops.
I'll try to keep her from becoming too one-dimensional.
Character Bio: Toji
- Location
- Spain
Just dropping by to say that the next update will be delayed for some time, as I'm going to be working on a side-project for a while. You see, so much snow and winter talk over at A&T has put me in the mood for a winter story, and I want to try and pull off a decent-to-good one-shot revolving around that, maybe even practice the WAFF a little bit while I'm at it.
If it's not too long (unlikely, considering who the writer is), I'll post it over at A&T and here as an omake. If it turns out to be lengthy, I may give it its own thread; In any case, I'll post it over at FF.net too if the story turns out okay(-ish).
So, on that note, I'll leave you with the character bio on a long-promised character for the time being:
Name: Toji Suzuhara
Class: Lv 2 Myrmidon
Base Stats and Growth Rate:
[HP] 20 (70%)
[STR] 06 (40%)
[MAG] 00 (05%)
[SKL] 10 (50%)
[SPD] 11 (70%)
[LUC] 05 (45%)
[DEF] 05 (15%)
[RES] 00 (25%)
Weapon Proficiencies: Swords (C).
Skills:
- Rising Swordmaster: +5% Crit when using swords.
- Imperium Hater: The speed at which Support effects are gained and their effects are halved when joined to any unit hailing from the Empire.
Character Bio:
Aspiring member of the Watchers, and a skilled swordsman. As one of the many migrants that travelled to Akuro seeking refuge at the onset of the war, he bears a heavy resentment towards the Imperium, who he blames for the untimely death of his parents. A caring and doting brother to his little sister Sakura, even if he doesn't like to be reminded of it.
Birthday: December 26, Age 18.
Affinity: Fire.
If it's not too long (unlikely, considering who the writer is), I'll post it over at A&T and here as an omake. If it turns out to be lengthy, I may give it its own thread; In any case, I'll post it over at FF.net too if the story turns out okay(-ish).
So, on that note, I'll leave you with the character bio on a long-promised character for the time being:
Name: Toji Suzuhara
Class: Lv 2 Myrmidon
Base Stats and Growth Rate:
[HP] 20 (70%)
[STR] 06 (40%)
[MAG] 00 (05%)
[SKL] 10 (50%)
[SPD] 11 (70%)
[LUC] 05 (45%)
[DEF] 05 (15%)
[RES] 00 (25%)
Weapon Proficiencies: Swords (C).
Skills:
- Rising Swordmaster: +5% Crit when using swords.
- Imperium Hater: The speed at which Support effects are gained and their effects are halved when joined to any unit hailing from the Empire.
Character Bio:
Aspiring member of the Watchers, and a skilled swordsman. As one of the many migrants that travelled to Akuro seeking refuge at the onset of the war, he bears a heavy resentment towards the Imperium, who he blames for the untimely death of his parents. A caring and doting brother to his little sister Sakura, even if he doesn't like to be reminded of it.
Birthday: December 26, Age 18.
Affinity: Fire.
.IronSun.
I don't descriminate, I hate all of you equally.
- Location
- IN UR BASE, PUNCHIN UR DOODZ
Well, this is a thing. Most of the cast has noticed Asuka's accute dislike of all things male and that the only guy she's even remotely civil towards is Shinji, the least overtly masculine or assertive person around. I'm wondering if anybody will recognize the possible significance of her attitude, or if it's just me reading something between the lines that isn't really there.
I'm also wondering when she'll be getting her giant red murderbot. Unit 02 puts a new slant on the whole Red Devil thing.
I'm also wondering when she'll be getting her giant red murderbot. Unit 02 puts a new slant on the whole Red Devil thing.
- Location
- Spain
Initially, the EVAs weren't going to be a thing in this story, but I might have thought of a way to include them over the last few months. I have to check that the idea doesn't wreck anything down the line, but for now its pretty safe to assume that they'll eventually make it in in some shape or form.
Hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story, when I get around to continuing it in the not-so-far future.
Iuvenal
Desperanda tibi salua concordia socru
- Location
- Terrace IV
Just ready through the story over the last few days. Quick thoughts:
- The prose quality is good
- I like where you seem to be going with both Yui and Gendo, personality- and characterization-wise
- I'm eager to learn more of how Shinji and Rei have grown up here
- Misato seems spot-on, and your rendition of Asuka is improving IMO
- There are plenty of anachronisms but I don't find them particularly grating
- The pace is slow, though I think that's a very common tendency with a serialized release - and there's nothing wrong with a long tale, so long as you have an idea where you're going and how you want to get there and don't wind up in a crunch or over a barrel at the end.
- Location
- Spain
Good to know. That's one of my main concerns, actually, since I'm not a native speaker; I find myself agonizing about structures and ways of saying things quite a bit when writing.
Wordreference and Thesaurus help a lot, though.
I'll try and move things a bit quicker over the next few updates. The next big plot-point should be coming in a few snippet's time, too.
No. Thanks for reading, and for leaving an opinion!
(One-Shot) The Great Snowball Battle
- Location
- Spain
So, I wrote a thing. That side-project that I talked about a few weeks back.
The Great Snowball Battle
I'll post it here too, for the one or two people (if any) that follow this and don't follow Stryp's Advice and Trust. Know that it's fairly long (15k words) and that it'll take some time to finish reading it.
Enjoy!
The Great Snowball Battle
I'll post it here too, for the one or two people (if any) that follow this and don't follow Stryp's Advice and Trust. Know that it's fairly long (15k words) and that it'll take some time to finish reading it.
Enjoy!
GeshronTyler
Kleiner Giftzwerg
Nice character pov piece. I think you did pretty well in portraying their youthfull trials and tribulations. The fact that they did not kiss I think fit the characters' personalities and the way things played out. Especially Asuka giving in to the impulse to peg Shinji with the snowball. The Christmas Eve date is a nice cultural reference.
Shinji gave me quite the "Kyon" vibe. You could perhaps call the story "The Melancholy Of Asuka Langely Sohru"
Shinji gave me quite the "Kyon" vibe. You could perhaps call the story "The Melancholy Of Asuka Langely Sohru"
- Location
- Spain
Nice character pov piece. I think you did pretty well in portraying their youthfull trials and tribulations. The fact that they did not kiss I think fit the characters' personalities and the way things played out. Especially Asuka giving in to the impulse to peg Shinji with the snowball. The Christmas Eve date is a nice cultural reference.
Shinji gave me quite the "Kyon" vibe. You could perhaps call the story "The Melancholy Of Asuka Langely Sohru"
Yeah, I think that I channelled Kyon a bit too much, probably a side-effect of the first person writing. Oh well, non-traumatized Shinji can be a mental snarker, I suppose.
I wasn't initially going to, but I've been considering covering the date in a 'special' way in another one-shot. Would there be any interest in that?
- Location
- Australia, mate
I hope I speak for everyone when I say: You're goddamn right there's interest.
GeshronTyler
Kleiner Giftzwerg
Turing Decidable
𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕗
- Location
- Belgium
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Just finished reading all the things. Got me hooked from the very first chapter!
I was expecting Toji to be a Mercenary, but I suppose Myrmidon makes sense considering he was an athlete of sorts in canon.
Also, I third there being interest in a follow-up to The Great Snowball Battle.
I was expecting Toji to be a Mercenary, but I suppose Myrmidon makes sense considering he was an athlete of sorts in canon.
Also, I third there being interest in a follow-up to The Great Snowball Battle.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Does the Pope wear a funny hat?