May 29 2011
notanautomaton
I've got 99 quests, I've finished one
Breakfast is leftover Chinese food. No fried rice, but some noodles and chicken. Really the breakfast of champions here, but I'm not complaining. We don't really talk, leaving me feeling kind of awkward. I mean, what do you even say to Catwoman?
After breakfast we head out to her fence, who is apparently a stripper named Lola. I'd have thought that they'd be really fancy and upscale, especially in a place like Gotham, but I guess I'm doomed to keep being disappointed. But really, doing it as a side job for stripping? I can't help but worry that the writer's one of the weird sex-obsessed ones, especially with my recent gender-bending. I swear, if I see a single tentacle I'm quitting and moving to another universe.
I try to keep playing the role of the sullen runaway in over her head, and think I do okay. I just keep to one word answers whenever possible. I end up with a fair amount of money, enough that I won't have to steal anymore, for at least a bit. It may only be a few hundred dollars, but I'm happy enough that it seems like I just won the lottery. I kind of want to leave the apartment, but Selena (as she insists I call her) just keeps talking and talking and talking to Lola. Eventually they finally stop, say their goodbyes, and Selena leaves, with me following along behind her as she descends the narrow staircase.
As we descend, Selena turns her head a bit so I can hear her, and starts to speak; "You know, things aren't exactly safe on the streets, even if you have a bit of money and a superpower to protect you. If you join up with me for a bit, you'll be able to get more money, someone to watch your back..." I have to say that the offer's tempting. I mean, the chance to learn thievery from Catwoman herself? Sign me the fuck up. But I can't be obvious about this, or else she might catch on that I'm not what I seem. Or would she? I mean, Catwoman's no Batman, so maybe I don't need to put full effort in.
"Sure, as long as you don't get any funny ideas."
Selena smiles and giggles a bit. Isn't she a bit old to giggle? "I'll try not to." She then continues down the stairs, as I follow.
"And you have to teach me how do things on my own, so I'll be able to get on without you if I want to."
"Sure"
*****
As the next two weeks pass I find myself falling into an easy routine. I try to act scared and cagey around Selena, but I am a scared and cagey person, so that's not really a problem. My days are filled with thief training; climbing, running, jumping, sneaking, and getting past locks.
*****
"Faster! Do you think that the Bat would give you five minutes to climb twenty feet?"
*****
My nights are spent casing potential targets, and occasionally stealing. Thievery is exhausting work, and my sleep should be dreamless, if common knowledge is to be trusted. But it's not. Instead my nights are filled with alien landscapes, and pain, and mutilation, until I just want to crawl under my bed and hide from the world.
****
I'm being held down. I struggle violently, but the straps are too thick for me to so much as budge. I try to turn my head, but that's strapped down too. Only then do I see the needle. It starts to whir, and moves towards my eye, getting closer and closer, and closer, until it pierces it. Even though I shouldn't be able to, I see it go through my eyeball and into my brain. I wake up sweaty and scared.
****
After a hell of a lot of training, Selena finally declares that we're ready to hit something more than the lightly defended targets she's been having me do. We're going to hit one of the mob's storehouses. See, though most of the Gotham mob's gone due to Batman's caped crusade, there's still a few crime families left around, mostly doing semi-legitimate business. By which I mean tax fraud, drug smuggling, and prostitution. You know, things that Batman can't just kick in the face. I mean, Gotham is surprisingly safe, to the point that I don't really feel worried walking the streets at night, but there's some things that a lot of martial arts training and a few billion dollars worth of gadgets can't solve.
But I digress. The mob tends to keep their money in cash, in order to prevent a paper trail from forming, and so that the police can't get all their money at once. That means that they have to hold their money someplace. I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this.
The night finds me and Selena on the roof of a skyscraper. Climbing up isn't as bad as you'd think, as she has these little pads that stick to the wall, so you don't have to search for handholds. It still would have been impossible in my old body, but this body's decently fit. After we get to the roof I use Read Into Things to drop us through. From there we head down the stairs, quietly making our way to the 55th floor, where they're hiding the safe.
They have a guard watching the door, but that doesn't matter when a section of cieling suddenly becomes incorporeal. Sucker. We drop down, and I use Read Into Things again in order to read the combination to the lock. From there it's a simple matter of pulling out the money and closing it again. It squeaks a bit, but it doesn't seem to alert the guard.
From there it's a simple matter of climbing up the rope, up the stairs again, and then rappelling down the side of the skyscraper, which is great fun. By the time we get back to the apparment I'm giddy with thoughts of what I can get with the money. Maybe a new costume, or some textbooks to study. And good food, of course, but that's a given.
That night, I dream of a green sun.
After breakfast we head out to her fence, who is apparently a stripper named Lola. I'd have thought that they'd be really fancy and upscale, especially in a place like Gotham, but I guess I'm doomed to keep being disappointed. But really, doing it as a side job for stripping? I can't help but worry that the writer's one of the weird sex-obsessed ones, especially with my recent gender-bending. I swear, if I see a single tentacle I'm quitting and moving to another universe.
I try to keep playing the role of the sullen runaway in over her head, and think I do okay. I just keep to one word answers whenever possible. I end up with a fair amount of money, enough that I won't have to steal anymore, for at least a bit. It may only be a few hundred dollars, but I'm happy enough that it seems like I just won the lottery. I kind of want to leave the apartment, but Selena (as she insists I call her) just keeps talking and talking and talking to Lola. Eventually they finally stop, say their goodbyes, and Selena leaves, with me following along behind her as she descends the narrow staircase.
As we descend, Selena turns her head a bit so I can hear her, and starts to speak; "You know, things aren't exactly safe on the streets, even if you have a bit of money and a superpower to protect you. If you join up with me for a bit, you'll be able to get more money, someone to watch your back..." I have to say that the offer's tempting. I mean, the chance to learn thievery from Catwoman herself? Sign me the fuck up. But I can't be obvious about this, or else she might catch on that I'm not what I seem. Or would she? I mean, Catwoman's no Batman, so maybe I don't need to put full effort in.
"Sure, as long as you don't get any funny ideas."
Selena smiles and giggles a bit. Isn't she a bit old to giggle? "I'll try not to." She then continues down the stairs, as I follow.
"And you have to teach me how do things on my own, so I'll be able to get on without you if I want to."
"Sure"
*****
As the next two weeks pass I find myself falling into an easy routine. I try to act scared and cagey around Selena, but I am a scared and cagey person, so that's not really a problem. My days are filled with thief training; climbing, running, jumping, sneaking, and getting past locks.
*****
"Faster! Do you think that the Bat would give you five minutes to climb twenty feet?"
*****
My nights are spent casing potential targets, and occasionally stealing. Thievery is exhausting work, and my sleep should be dreamless, if common knowledge is to be trusted. But it's not. Instead my nights are filled with alien landscapes, and pain, and mutilation, until I just want to crawl under my bed and hide from the world.
****
I'm being held down. I struggle violently, but the straps are too thick for me to so much as budge. I try to turn my head, but that's strapped down too. Only then do I see the needle. It starts to whir, and moves towards my eye, getting closer and closer, and closer, until it pierces it. Even though I shouldn't be able to, I see it go through my eyeball and into my brain. I wake up sweaty and scared.
****
After a hell of a lot of training, Selena finally declares that we're ready to hit something more than the lightly defended targets she's been having me do. We're going to hit one of the mob's storehouses. See, though most of the Gotham mob's gone due to Batman's caped crusade, there's still a few crime families left around, mostly doing semi-legitimate business. By which I mean tax fraud, drug smuggling, and prostitution. You know, things that Batman can't just kick in the face. I mean, Gotham is surprisingly safe, to the point that I don't really feel worried walking the streets at night, but there's some things that a lot of martial arts training and a few billion dollars worth of gadgets can't solve.
But I digress. The mob tends to keep their money in cash, in order to prevent a paper trail from forming, and so that the police can't get all their money at once. That means that they have to hold their money someplace. I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this.
The night finds me and Selena on the roof of a skyscraper. Climbing up isn't as bad as you'd think, as she has these little pads that stick to the wall, so you don't have to search for handholds. It still would have been impossible in my old body, but this body's decently fit. After we get to the roof I use Read Into Things to drop us through. From there we head down the stairs, quietly making our way to the 55th floor, where they're hiding the safe.
They have a guard watching the door, but that doesn't matter when a section of cieling suddenly becomes incorporeal. Sucker. We drop down, and I use Read Into Things again in order to read the combination to the lock. From there it's a simple matter of pulling out the money and closing it again. It squeaks a bit, but it doesn't seem to alert the guard.
From there it's a simple matter of climbing up the rope, up the stairs again, and then rappelling down the side of the skyscraper, which is great fun. By the time we get back to the apparment I'm giddy with thoughts of what I can get with the money. Maybe a new costume, or some textbooks to study. And good food, of course, but that's a given.
That night, I dream of a green sun.
