"Just make sure ya don't let yourself fall apart now," Marshal says as I continue to float down the path to my cabin. Then more seriously, "Cause I
will be checkin' on you."
After my
small admission, we'd just floated on the lake while she comforted me for a bit. It was nice at first, but it started getting awkward around thirty seconds. By the time two minutes came around I'd had enough.
Once that was done though, she started asking questions about how well I could take care of myself in earnest. My answers to most of them boiled down to 'I'm not sure, I'll need to figure it out.' She was rolling her eyes a lot by the end.
But, eventually, she let me go so that I
could figure out what I needed to do.
And the biggest one, the one I'd thought was so simple: Food. I'm fairly certain I haven't been eating enough over the last few days, so I need to solve that mystery ASAP. Actually… Marshal seemed to be giving me enough, so maybe I should take a look at her in 'ghost-sight' to see what's different about her.
So I'm
already turning around, although I'm invisible now so I should avoid… uh…
Marshal is so bright she's lighting up the forest where I am
from the lake. She's giving off so much ____ not-light that most of the world around her looks solid. What the fuck? And even though I'm
definitely inside the light I don't taste anything.
So, I know basically nothing about how I eat then, perfect. And now I feel like a creep for watching her so intently, especially because I'm invisible… At least I hope I'm invisible, but I'm not counting on it anymore.
Wait, stay focused, there are brighter spots in the air around her. They look sort of like the flares I saw coming off other pokemon, but they're not flying off the same way, They leave her main light- Main body? Mass? Whatever, they leave
her and start orbiting instead, circling the massive light.
That… makes a kind of sense actually. Well, no, but I can draw parallels to what I know at least. we're like emotional gravity wells, and Marshal has the mass to keep her cast off-
Are they cast off? I haven't been eating
her have I? Oh god, this is exactly the kind of thought I've been avoiding because it's terrifying and- I need to
stay calm, keep trying to figure it out.
Don't panic.
I continue to watch the massive form as she swims around, then dives so fast I can't follow her properly. I manage to track her again when I see a brighter flash deep in the lake, Holy shit that lake goes
deep and she's
fast. But now she's ascending slowly, and, while it's a bit hard to make out between how bright Marshal is and the foggy effect that has on the water, she's carrying three
fish? Wait, I know what those are, three magikarp, larger than I imagined them, and she's got two in her hands while
eating the third.
I had, of course, figured out that the pokemon here eat each other, but seeing Marshal do it
really drove that home. And I'm now hoping that nothing around here eats ghosts, but back to figuring out what and how
I eat.
And continuing to watch Marshal's 'light' makes me feel better about eating it, those flares are diffusing, growing dimmer and sparser as time passes, while occasionally more leap out of Marshal.
So I might actually need to go and hun-
scavenge, I'm pretty certain eating cast-offs makes me a scavenger—for food, but that's not too bad. Though I think Marshal has more than enough to feed me, and I'll need to ask if she knows what I eat later. I need to make sure she knows because I don't like the thought of continuing to eat her emotions
without her knowledge. I'd go let her know right now, but she's leveled off about fifteen feet underwater.
I wonder how well I can swim? Thoughts for later I suppose.
Got to get back home I guess.
Home, fuck, I know I'm not the first person to be suddenly uprooted and need to restart somewhere else, but I think I take the gold for sheer distance, and I'm not sure if the thought that it could be
a lot worse is helping or not.
At least the location is idyllic.
Phasing back to look around, I can see the plants here are thriving, the water doesn't seem to have any pollution in it and neither does the air, it smells so fresh and there's no… Smell, when I can't breathe.
I'm certain I was in shock when I first got here, then I was overwhelmed by everything, and
then I was in some kind of depressive fugue state the last two days, as they're mostly a blur with a few very clear moments, which is now something I'll need to thank Marshal for, but how did I not notice that? Of course, that's not the strangest thing to happen recently, but it is weird.
What's stranger still on top of ghost-sight, tasting emotions, and smelling without a nose, is that I'm becoming increasingly certain I have
another new sense, but it's so faint I hadn't noticed until Marshal was right next to me. I don't know what it is or what it's sensing, and to get anything from it while she's not here takes way,
way,
way too much focus. Something else to worry about later then.
Now let's see how long it takes to get from here to my cabin.
Flying, as it turns out, really is faster than walking… or being escorted by someone who's walking, since it takes me less than a minute to make it back to my new home while flying at nowhere near my top speed.
As I enter the bedroom and see myself in the mirror again, I stop and stare for a moment. It's still so surreal, seeing myself in this body. I spread my arms, all seven of them, and yeah, that looks pretty terrifying. I smile, which just makes it worse so I put my arms down. And now my smile looks more like an actual smile since I don't look like a tentacled horror.
I guess there's no point putting it off, I… Hold on. Under my skin, the flow of
whatever it is isn't just a flow anymore, it's roiling, coiling like fire, and moving a lot faster than before. Why would it- No, wait, it's so fucking obvious, I just had a feast, I'm not sure how long it'll hold me, but I have energy now.
I have energy now… Shit, I really hadn't noticed how awful I was feeling, had I? I'd just been pushing through like always, but now? I feel
amazing. I feel better than I have in years! Physically, at least. No aches, scars, scrapes, cuts, or bruises, and I don't feel so
soul-crushingly tired.
I keep getting distracted, though not without reason, but I need to take a look at myself while I'm not in shock.
I look the same, obviously, but I do notice things I hadn't before. Such as, my skin is extremely thin, it can't be any thicker than a sheet of paper and the cloth-like look is caused by the layer of '
fuzz' over it, like there's bad reception in the air.
I'm also now sure that my eyes glow brighter the darker it is, and that I have zero control of that.
And finally, the gems around my neck also have that flowing fire in them, and it's even more intense than the stuff in my body.
Also, I think I'm ever so slightly larger than before?
Now for something I've been hesitant about. I hook two arms under my skirt and hoist it up so I can see in the mirror.
You know, I'm not sure what I was expecting, some confirmation of my being male or female, maybe a blank stretch of skin, Possibly even a better view of my internal whatever, but…
There's nothing there. No light, no space, and most concerning of all, I can tell there's no reality, just
emptiness. I don't know
how I can tell there's no reality, but I can feel it, ironically enough, deep inside. A lot like how I feel a certain place isn't truly space and doesn't contain light, now that I think of it.
I don't want to go back to ignoring my problems, especially right after Marshal just put a stop to that, but I don't know what else to do with this except file it away and ignore it.
I can see both of my arms reaching
into the
nothingness, and that creeps me out enough to stop and right myself in the air. Looking at the tips of said arms, they're a bit 'fuzzier' than before, but that's quickly fading.
Ah, I hope that doesn't mean what I think it means, that the 'fuzz' around me isn't because of the
nothing that's under my skin because that really makes me want to go right back to
not thinking about it. …Except I don't want to slip back into that depression, so trying to make sense of the impossible it is.
So… Where to start? I'm dead, or rather, I died and am now a ghost. Specifically a ghost-type pokemon. Dying was an experience I don't want to think about, but I do remember fragments of what came after, and—I think—that's a bit relevant.
I just need to not dwell on it.
Out there, from what I can remember, was extremely fuzzy around the edges. Not unlike what I'm seeing around myself right now, really. Though it was hard to think at all and I'm not even sure how I saw anything
out there given that I don't think I had a body at all, at the time.
…That's both a bit frightening and, strangely, comforting. I don't know why but the thought of staying
me without a body feels nice.
Anyway, then we have the pokemon thing. I still don't know how we on Earth… Is this world also called Earth? Wait, it doesn't matter, focus. I still don't know how we knew about them or how
that all works but it seems too fantastical to…
I'm an idiot. Magic practically needs to be a thing to explain anything about my whole situation. Which also immediately means that I don't know jack-shit about what I thought I did. Even just basic physics would… Huh.
Yeah, I think I can safely say that the physics I was taught has no power here. Hell, my skin looks like it contains vast depths even at the parts it seems like I should be able to look straight through, I can phase out of one part of reality and into another, and I eat emotions of all things. This
nothingness might just be straight-up magic for all I know.
…Yeah, that makes sense, I'm looking for an explanation in my old reality when trying to understand
my new reality, one that includes ghosts, strange not-spaces, and giant, talking fish-otters.
In short, I don't know enough about ghosts or pokemon and this is probably normal for us. I'd bet a lot of the stranger things I've been worrying about are normal for ghosts here, I just need to learn about them if I get the chance. No, scratch that, I'm going to make the chance to learn, once I get an idea of how anyway.
Huh, I… I think I've managed to make myself feel better about all this. So what's next?
Right, I want to keep trying to get a Move off, which I'm feeling a lot better about now that I'm so energized. I have no idea what moves misdreavus can use, but that's not going to stop me, I reach for the power I've been able to feel since the first day and
push.
Two things happen at that, the first is that my mirror shatters as it along with all the dust, debris, and plants in the room are shoved away from me, and the second is the immediate migraine.
Shit, that was definitely a Move of some kind, but I didn't try to control it at all and now my head is killing me while one of my few real possessions is broken,
goddammit.
Now nursing a bastard of a migraine, I move through my home till I'm at the most comfortable spot I've found so far and push myself into it because I really don't want to focus on 'the gravity thing' right now.
So I'm not going to focus on the gravity thing right now.
The couch, while barely recognizable as such, is effectively a pile of what has to be synthetic cloth and padding over wood, and is surprisingly pretty comfortable for what it is.
Now what? I've got nothing to do right now except maybe to try to get another Move off, but fuck that, not with my head feeling like this. Hmm… Maybe this is why pokemon join trainers, a chance to go on an adventure and see more of the world while being taught this stuff doesn't sound bad on paper.
…How does that even work?
I haven't seen any humans yet, but they've clearly been to the lake, and Marshal even said she'd been named by them. So it's only a matter of time before I meet one, I need to consider the possibility of capture.
God, my head hurts.
My memories of the pokemon games I've played are blurred by the years, but I need them now more than ever. I don't recall any point in Blue where anything about how pokemon consider their trainer is mentioned, but that could just be how long it's been—holy shit I'm
old. Gold and Ruby are just as blank to me, Pearl is a lot easier to remember, but all the dialog is a jumbled mess in my recollection. I loved the legendary from that game though, space manipulation seemed so…
Oh.
That's right, I'd completely disregarded the fact that there are
Gods here, and I've decided magic has to be real with everything I've been through so… Magic and—capital G—Gods
are real, Of course there's a way back to earth, how else could I get here in the first place.
No, I'm…
am I getting distracted?
Which line of thought is more important? Gods being real is
maybe a bit terrifying, and magic is of course its own full can of worms entirely, but getting back is a huge deal. I… don't know how to feel about that. I'm still a ghost, and—barring divine intervention—I don't think that's going to change.
Though I think I may have already received some divine intervention
à la yank, because that
can't have been natural, so traveling freely is probably not going to happen
But I do want to say goodbye to my parents and friends, and if there is a way back and forth it might… be a huge mistake to use because
fuck, that's
another whole-ass meta-physics debate that I am completely unqualified to even attempt to touch with a ten-foot pole.
But I did somehow get here. So, was I brought here for a reason? If I was it would be nice to know what it is-slash-was…?
…
Yeah, I wasn't really expecting anything to happen, still worth a shot. And now I have
another thing to worry about, thanks me, I really appreciate it.
But all that just makes the prospect of being caught more frightening. After all, I still don't know how it works. I do remember something about levels, badges, and ignoring orders, though I think those were just to make the games more fair. I'm pretty sure trainers are one of those questions I'm going to have to find a way to ask Marshal about somehow, without sounding like a complete idiot.
Also,
FUCK my head
hurts! It's getting better, but I think it'll be a while before it stops. What was it about tossing things around that caused so much pain?
Whatever, I'm not moving, so, given my apparent psychic power, maybe I'll try meditating to pass the time, see if that helps with anything.
***
Meditation did not, in fact, help. Granted, I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to meditating, all I remember from when Abby was on a spiritualist kick was a focus on
breathing—yeah, no—and spirituality, and given my current form… Yeah, not trying that again without guidance.
It was fairly early when Marshal came and rescued me, it's maybe a little past noon now, and I'm feeling better so I may as well go out during the day this time.
The forest is very different during the day, once I get a decent distance from my new home there's activity everywhere. Whole sections of the forest seem to move where the trees are thinner, large gardens of animate plants dancing in the sun and breeze. I see considerably less of the small insects and more of the massive ones, most of which I can recognize, even if their shapes and colors have some differences. I only see a bird swoop down to grab an insect once, and it gets forced away by the blast of poison barbs the large wurmple shoots off. Seeing a pikachu with three pichu that I'm sure I recognize
marching off south is quite the sight, and I'm a little shocked when I see a bibarrel carrying a whole-ass tree off somewhere, but only a little. I don't know where all the doduo I saw before went, but the two I do see are moving
fast, racing through the trees in a flicker of motion.
Once again it looks like someone brought a fairy tale to life, and once again everyone ignores me.
But there is something I need to know, I try to listen to what anyone is saying, actually focusing on it. I still get nothing. Sighing, I fly closer to one of the garden-groves I've seen.
This garden has two grotle, a few roselia, a few different bud-looking pokemon I don't know the names of, and a leafeon, all resting or playing in the sun. They're clearly talking to each other, so I try to listen in, even as the leafeon is giving me a look.
"…prime vespiquen's expecting more daughters to evolve soon too, you know?" I hear one of the roselia say, so I can understand them, but why not before?
A grotle this time, distinctly male, replies, "Oh I know, it'll be nice to have them push the beedrill back a bit, teach them all a lesson."
"Excuse me, did you need something?" Asks the leafeon, stepping towards me.
How do I handle this? Honesty will probably work best with most pokemon, won't it? Yeah, that sounds right, so honesty it is. "I was drifting by and got curious, I was just wondering what you were talking about," I say. Okay so, honesty with a hint of omission, good enough.
"Oh! Everything's just moving into spring and warming up, all the bugs are back, and we're coming out of hibernation, just catching up really." Says a bright female voice from the other grotle.
The leafeon rolls their eyes at that, "They weren't invited, Grotle."
"Let them join, it's not like they tried to sneak up on us." Says one of the roselia, making the- Leafeon sigh and chuck his chin towards the group, before he starts walking back to join the others, completely dismissing me.
"It doesn't hurt to make more friends Leaf, and it's not like they seem too dangerous," I hear Grotle, the male one, whisper.
I don't think it should surprise me that I was allowed in so easily, as far as they know—and probably in reality—I'm not a threat to them. Though, this group has the feel of a bunch of friends getting together at a bar for a night out. In the middle of the day. In the forest.
Yeah, okay, but it still has that feeling damn it! Honestly, it's just… surprisingly normal, and I'm not going to complain about that right now.
Floating closer to the group, I decide to see how well I can be social among my new neighbors.
▲▲▲
▼▼▼
Watching that kid leave still has my gut rolling.
I'd been ignoring the noise, I figured I'd deal with it if it became a problem. Then when Buizel had come running scared saying he was frightened by the shrieking from the old human place, it did. So I'd thought another empty-headed gasbag had moved in, thoughtless and angry. But that kid was nothing like the idiots I've had to remove before, they weren't trying to establish themselves with empty threats or hot-headed bluster, no, they looked lost, even scared. Then they apologized immediately so I thought they'd be one of the nice ones and we could ignore each other after they made peace with my son.
And right when I saw just how much they were hurting inside, they started crying, not normal crying either, they might have hurt someone else with all that sound. Never heard one of them make noise like that, I've never seen one like them either though, so that might just be their kind.
And then every time I moved they froze, which was a pretty bad sign, but when they asked for a
name it started making sense. You only think about stuff like that if you spend time around
humans, so they were a human's companion, and probably spent no time fighting either by the way they acted. That's rough, I know, going from a loving family to alone out here, even if they seemed clearer-headed than most I've seen.
After that, they didn't try to wiggle out of apologizing and they were genuine about it, so that was good, but they clearly had experience doing it, so they might also be a troublemaker.
But they were obviously in a lot of pain, emotionally speaking. I don't think they even realized just how much they were shaking and crying.
And Then they told me the big one, that it was
their companion that killed them. And that just isn't right! No wonder the poor kid was afraid and crying like that. When you choose a partner like that you stick with them, lift each other up, keep each other honest, good and bad, thick and thin, forever. A betrayal of that shouldn't ever happen, that's just the way things are. …Not that I don't know the feeling.
I sigh and roll over, starting my swim back to shore.
Giving them a lum was the right thing to do, but now I'll have to tend to the vine more to get a second one before next winter, or maybe even ask Torterra to help, the lazy lug. The kid really needed it, however, and I'm not going to be selfish when someone's hurting like that.
Sliding out of the water, I begin walking towards my garden to see the damage Buizel did. I doubt it was much, he's not a fast eater, but there are only so many berries the trees and vines can grow.
It isn't a long walk. I made sure to plant them close to my home.
Reaching the clearing I made for my garden, I see the sign Ryuko gave me to warn off other humans.
…Ryu hasn't been around recently, it's that time of year, but I hope she visits soon, she's always nice to be around, and Sneasel's a hoot. Plus, she seems to know how to get my garden growing better.
Garden. three years in and still such a novel thing, not just for the leafy folk anymore.
Ah, let's see here, looks like he mostly got into the oran and pecha, that's not too bad then, I would have
loved to see how he picked them out of the trees without leaving marks, but they grow fast.
Just like my sweet Buizel. Hmm, Maybe it's time to see if Luxray is up for another roll-in-the-mud, maybe see if we can't make a child as strong as we are this time. Though Ryuko seems to think that's not all there is to it, and she's pretty smart.
Turning my feet around, I start heading for water again.
There's no harm in trying for a child at least, and probably a bit of fun for us in the process. Though, maybe not if I'm going to need to look after Charlie while they heal. Next year, then.
Oh, I'm already back at my lake. Charlie was the biggest issue today, so I think I'll just swim the rivers for a while, see what's new, probably see what the human kids are up to when they think their parents aren't watching, maybe try and save the less attentive ones from the trouble they're going to get into.
yeah, that sounds like a good day to me.
▲▲▲
▼▼▼
I can't say I've made
friends per se, but once the initial awkwardness had passed everyone I've met so far has been standoffish at worst. I even learned a reason behind the understanding thing and have suspicions about another.
To start with, the Grotles were friendly enough, they mostly wanted to catch up on the goings-on recently because they apparently came out of a winter hibernation
that day and just wanted to be friendly. Leafeon—or Leaf, go figure—on the other hand, was a worrywart who had heard my screaming over the last few days and was accordingly suspicious. And the roselia were… interesting, I can't say I get their outlook on life, but they were friendly at least. The bud-like pokemon were apparently called budew, cherubi, and bonsly, and they were all very much
children who mostly ignored the adults as they played.
I can't tell if I like the fact that I don't know whose emotions are whose when there are so many people around. It does make it easier to tune them out, but I kind of like knowing how who I'm talking to is feeling. Especially since someone there was pretty anxious the entire time, and I'd like to know who it was. I hope that doesn't make me a bad person.
Overall, I had a nice time with them, but I doubt I'll be able to find them again without making a real effort, though both of the grotles and Leaf left together, so they might be a group of some kind.
As for the understanding thing, distance definitely plays a part, sometimes I had to get really close to hear what was being said, and other times not so much, but there did seem to be a maximum distance. I also think wanting to be heard and wanting to listen helps, but I'm not sure about that yet, hmm… Something to consider later.
In any case, it's the next day now, and I don't know why I was expecting Marshal to check on me immediately, but I was, and now I'm a little disappointed in myself. Although I'm definitely feeling lonely, there's no shortage of people to talk to out here so I have no excuse not to. Even if I have lingering worries about trainers and why I'm here, my best course of action right now is to not wallow in loss and self-pity, face the day and all that, save the worries for when I have friends to hear them.
***
"I've got some good news for you, today," Karlos says over his shoulder as I enter the kitchenette. "The next few status meetings were canceled."
That makes everyone except the man himself pause. "You mean…" Maya trails off, unwilling to say it out loud.
"Two of you get to head out today!" Karlos replies brightly, scooping the last pancake onto a plate with eggs, and handing it to me. I'd say he plays up the role, but he
does have kids. "it's great timing, too, since we'll be getting a student today."
"Just one?" I ask, taking a seat to start digging into breakfast.
"Ranger or operator?" Barry asks, definitely hoping for the latter.
"I'm going to let it be a surprise," Karlos decides, waving a spatula at us.
***
Marshal did come check on me today, before inviting me to her lake again.
As it turns out, Marshal really is a genuinely friendly and happy person, and she
loves having someone to talk to about anything and everything, as I am currently experiencing. That's not to say I haven't learned some interesting tidbits, such as:
Berries will grow year-round, even if it's a bit slower in the winter.
The effects I remember from the games are mostly real here, though not quite the same.
Even the fastest-growing berries can take more than a month to mature after budding.
And finally, they grow in a lot of different ways, some on vines, some in bushes, some on—the stranger looking—trees, and some even grow like pineapples, as a thorny stalk-thing with a bunch of berries on top.
…She does seem to have a focus right now.
"And this is a lum, I'm sure you've already got an idea what they can do. Never seen an ill they couldn't cure, but the berries take nearly a year to grow, and that's after blooming. Though it doesn't have any berries right now 'cause I gave you the one it had, but that ain't your fault." Says Marshal happily, hand on a vine.
I hadn't known she loved gardening, I hadn't realized a pokemon
could garden, but she seems to love it. "And this one," She continues, gesturing towards a sapling that's barely a foot tall, "Is supposed to be a 'sitrus' according to Torterra. Haven't gotten it to grow much yet, but it supposedly tastes pretty good
and it'll put you right if you're…"
And then she stops, head whipping to the East, ears rising, and face breaking into a huge smile. Now with a chuckle in her voice, she says, "Sorry, but I'm gonna have to stop here today, there's someone I haven't seen in a while on her way and she deserves my best greeting."
