Improperly Incubated(Worm/PMMM, Altpower!Taylor)

Does unhappiness have to do with potential? Because Madoka didn't seem to have many problems in her life until after she became a magical girl in the first timeline.

Not unhappiness per se, more like "potential for despair". It's a little unclear, but Karmic value seems to be based on that, plus the overall "scale" of the wish the magical girl is eventually going to make. Madoka WAS a weak magical girl at first for precisely that reason- her wish was originally just to save Amy, a cat, from getting run over by a car. But because homura looped over and over, centering the fate of each timeline almost entirely on Madoka, Madoka subsequently became responsible for the fates of who even knows how many separate worlds, shooting her Karmic potential to the stars and beyond.

The most I can see happening with Victoria is her wishing for her dad's depression to be cured, and it somehow going wrong, but that isn't a particularly large scale wish with potential for bringing despair to others beyond herself and her immediate family. Hence my assumption that she probably wouldn't be too strong a magical girl. Granted, it'd be on top of her already existent powers, and there's no reason you can't make very good use of even rather weak seeming magic (see: Mami's ribbons), but yeah.
 
Last edited:
Don't think so; going by Magia Record it's possible up until at least 18 years old. Though Victoria doesn't seem like the type to have a great deal of potential
What are you talking about? It was just stated that she has a lot of potential.

Before she could think more on the matter, a figure landed between them at incredible speed. A young cape, dressed like a young woman, and with the most potential Taylor had ever seen. It radiated everywhere, almost overpowering in intensity. Glory Girl, she had seen her before, if only from a distance. New Wave was here?
 
"We, we're in the same class. World Issues, with Mr Gladly. At Winslow. I heard about you, the one they shoved into her locker. Hebet?"
Aren't there rules about outing a cape's secret identity?

The girl held off her fellow teleporter,
Teleport duel! :D

Another glance at the sobbing girl reinforced the idea that giving her powers would be a bad idea. Saying she was emotionally compromised was an understatement;
That just makes her a better candidate!

I can see Panacea having a massive amount of potential between her importance in the hospital, her mental instability, and being in nearly the perfect age range. On top of that, I'd imagine Panacea and Glory Girl's potentials being tied to each other kind of like Homura and Madoka.
 
What are you talking about? It was just stated that she has a lot of potential.

Hmm, must've somehow missed that. Still, for the reasons already listed, that doesn't seem like it would make much sense based on what we know about how Karmic potential works, unless I'm seriously misreading Victoria's character (havent read Ward yet). That being said...

On top of that, I'd imagine Panacea and Glory Girl's potentials being tied to each other kind of like Homura and Madoka.

This I can definitely see. Their fates are already tied to each other narratively, and while that wouldn't necessarily affect potential/strength, the effects of Victoria's aura on Amy inducing artificially strong emotions that will inevitably lead to massive fallout... yeah, that would certainly explain it.
 
Last edited:
Hmm, must've somehow missed that. Still, for the reasons already listed, that doesn't seem like it would make much sense based on what we know about how Karmic potential works, unless I'm seriously misreading Victoria's character (havent read Ward yet). That being said...
Karmic potential doesn't, AFAIK and I could be wrong, necessarily have to deal with a person's wish, just with their potential impact on the timeline(s). In Dinah's case, the impact is pretty obvious even in Worm(predicting the end of the world), but Vicky does take until Ward to truly leave her mark on history, directly and indirectly through Amy.
 
Karmic potential doesn't, AFAIK and I could be wrong, necessarily have to deal with a person's wish, just with their potential impact on the timeline(s). In Dinah's case, the impact is pretty obvious even in Worm(predicting the end of the world), but Vicky does take until Ward to truly leave her mark on history, directly and indirectly through Amy.

True. I was equating wish with overall impact because the two are usually part and parcel, but I suppose that is a better way of phrasing it.
 
Hmm, must've somehow missed that. Still, for the reasons already listed, that doesn't seem like it would make much sense based on what we know about how Karmic potential works, unless I'm seriously misreading Victoria's character (havent read Ward yet). That being said...



This I can definitely see. Their fates are already tied to each other narratively, and while that wouldn't necessarily affect potential/strength, the effects of Victoria's aura on Amy inducing artificially strong emotions that will inevitably lead to massive fallout... yeah, that would certainly explain it.
No karmic potential for despair? Just look what happens to her in other fanfics time lines!
 
The problem is that at the moment, each and every MG is a ticking bomb, and literally none of the people involved are remotely prepared for what to do when that happens, or how to prevent it.
 
Chapter 3. Is This All A Game To You?
A/N: This chapter took me a while. Probably has more errors than usual(feel free to point them out) but I am too tired and busy right now to look further into it. Hope you enjoy!



Genie couldn't help but feel self-conscious as Glory Girl's mother stared at them in disapproval. Her only costume was the festival mask that Dinah had provided, which clashed horrifically with her dusty sweater. Despite having been involved in a cape fight only minutes ago, she didn't feel like a hero.

"What in the world possessed seven kid heroes to take on two of the most dangerous villains in the Bay?" Brandish spoke with a tone that made it clear the question was rhetorical.

"She hurt my sister. Nearly killed her," Haruna replied, clearly not getting the memo. Her eyes went to the little girl that stood a few meters away, comforting some other crying children.

Somehow, Brandish's eyes grew even colder. Genie couldn't help but step back, almost instinctively. That glare felt familiar, it felt like Sophia's disdainful look, and for just a moment anger boiled inside her. She kept it down, but it did not quite abate.

"So this was all about revenge? Would it have made her happy to see her sister dead, or worse, a murderer? Was it worth getting two other people injured so severely?" Brandish pushed back, taking a step closer to the new magical girl. Haruna did not even flinch. "Lots of civilians could have been injured, property damage is already through the roof. Did you even think of that?"

Taylor wanted to intervene, but she was unsure what to say. She'd seen the thrown shield almost hit bystanders, but by the same token she couldn't believe someone was getting scolded for fighting off villains. A glance at Dinah and Vista showed less mixed reactions.

Dinah was every bit as unapologetic as Haruna. Despite her eyes still being red, she stood proudly beside her fellow magical girl, backing her up. It was also quite obvious that she was using her precognition power, at least to Taylor, as her eyes kept moving around and she kept fidgeting randomly.

"You can't afford to antagonize her, not right now. Too high chances of catastrophe if something goes wrong, millions of casualties. Focus on your sister, she is fine now." Dinah's telepathic message seemed to calm the girl down, stop her from talking back.

Vista, on the other hand, had her head bowed. She didn't say anything, possibly a result of experience working as a Ward. Taylor had little doubt she would be getting her own debrief later, with Armsmaster and Miss Militia. Taylor hoped the girl didn't blame herself too much for Clockblocker's wounds.

The Ward remained in her own corner, listening but not participating in the conversation. Her costume had been slightly burned at some point in the confrontation, together with some bits of her hair. She returned Genie's look, but did not respond until they both looked away.

"Putting that aside for the moment, what are the three of you even doing?" Brandish had now turned around to look at Genie and the anger started boiling up again. "Only one of you even has a costume, and it looks like a kids' Halloween costume, not to mention that mask of yours. Is this all a game to you?"

"With all due respect, Brandish," Taylor said, trying to return her stare and failing, "we were not in costume when the attack hit. We were just enjoying our drinks when the whole area exploded. I didn't exactly have time to go home and suit up."

The response seemed to calm her down somewhat, but it was Flashbang who stepped in before she could continue. He had stood back for most of the conversation, his eyes tracking the devastation.

"It was brave of you to step up, but also very foolish. Especially for you," he spoke to Haruna, "because you have no mask on. Even a little carnival mask is enough to stop people from prying too deeply into a hero's identity. Doing away with it is dangerous, that I can tell you from experience."

Of course he could, New Wave were all unmasked heroes. Fleur's murder, in her civilian identity, had hit them hard and the impact was still felt to this day. She had been an adult woman, an established hero and had a husband who was also a cape and yet she had been killed. Haruna looked like an easy target by comparison.

The girl wanted to reply, but she stopped herself just short. Genie was happy, to an extent, but that meant the conversation would come back to her. She needed to get her thoughts in order, keep herself from saying the wrong things. She really didn't want to risk the Birdcage.

"It's too late to change that now and hopefully people will be too busy talking about the bombings to remember her," she said, stepping closer to her magical girls. It was her duty to protect them, weak powers or not. "What is more important is what we do from here on out. The ABB will not stop just because they were routed here and the Empire will most likely respond in kind. We need to be out there, keeping the people safe"

"What exactly do you know about keeping the people safe? I have never seen you before and your actions here do not look like those of an experienced group. Far as I can tell, you are just three little girls playing at being vigilantes," Brandish said, taking charge once more. Flashbang stepped back, head down. "There are procedures, legal issues, jurisdictions, PRT decisions and a whole culture surrounding capes. Are you even aware of the rules of the game?"

Rules, laws, jurisdictions, a bunch of red tape. Taylor confirmed to herself that she was never going to join the Protectorate. She wanted to help people, not reassure worried bureaucrats that the serial murderers had struck the first blow. If she needed to force the matter a little to save lives, she wasn't about to hesitate.

"Weren't you the one accusing us of treating this like a game? I am not about to sit here and talk about regulation when a mad bomber could potentially kill thousands. Isn't this what the heroes do, fight villains and save people?" Taylor had hoped to make the woman treat them seriously, but Brandish only shook her head with a sigh.

Genie hated it. The way they treated them like they were inconsequential, like their words meant nothing. It reminded her of the teachers at Winslow, the way they ignored the bullying. She felt ever closer to exploding, stopping herself by virtue of Dinah's words. Said magical girl put a hand on her shoulder, transmitting calm through the telepathic link at the same time.

"Such innocence. I envy you, personally. There is much you do not know, but you are right that we are short on time, so here is the short version: you do not attack a cape, hero or villain, in their civilian identity. You do not reveal said identity, if you do know it. When you fight, you limit yourself to non-lethal, non-permanently damaging attacks, which includes guns. No overt mind control, no sexual stuff, no torture."

The way she described it, it really did feel like a game. Fighting without injuring felt particularly weird, given the events of the last hour. Both Dinah and Haruna had gone all out, their weapons not meant to take down non-lethally, and the two villains had responded in kind. It had looked like a warzone, not a game and certainly not a safe one.

"I'm not questioning your knowledge of the subject, but given what the ABB just did I feel the need to call bullshit. Hundreds of people are probably dead after those explosions, Clockblocker's injuries sure looked permanent and Glory Girl got shot by a very lethal looking gun. If those rules really exist, they have been discarded at some point between the bombs going off and Oni Lee showing up."

Taylor wasn't sure what she expected Brandish to do, but a knowing smile was not first on the list. Had she missed some loophole, some exception that allowed the massacre that just occurred? How could someone look like that after hearing those facts?

"Bakuda is the exception that proves the rule. Watch carefully over the next few days, and you will see what happens when someone breaks the rules. In particular, I would keep an eye on the Empire and the Merchants, both what they do and what they don't do. It may surprise you."

Taylor nodded, much as she hated the cryptic comments. What would the villains do, faced with someone who used such brutal methods? Her mind went to game theory, and the first idea was that they would respond in kind. To do otherwise would be foolish, but there had to be more. If those rules really existed, there had to be more.

"They will call a truce," Dinah said, not moving or acknowledging them in any way. To an outside observer, it would seem they were all in deep thought. "Villains among each other, possibly with the heroes as well. Ninety nine percent chance the Empire joins in, eighty nine point six for the Merchants, ninety two point seven for Coil, fourty three point three for the Protectorate. A mini-Endbringer truce, just for the ABB's sake."

A rule enforced by the capes on the other capes. Taylor bit her lip, imagining herself stuck in the same position. Would that happen, if she went too far while fighting a villain? She remembered Lustrum, who her mother had followed at one point, and how she ended up in the Birdcage despite not doing much herself. Shadow Stalker, if PHO was correct, had been a vigilante that had gone too far and ended up in the Wards as a sort of second chance. Would that be their fates, as well?

"Now, I would love to stay and chat about cape culture and legislation, but there are people that need saving and I want to see my daughter. Do you have a name, both individually and for this team?"

"For the record, I am not technically part of the team. I just happened to be here to help. For now, I go by Magical Girl, but that will probably change if I even bother keeping it." Dinah replied, before Genie could try to put it in a nicer fashion. Had the girl known, seen it through her precognition? Damned precogs, so hard to keep track of.

"I go by Genie, I'm the founder of this team, such as it is," Taylor added before someone else could interrupt. "I have been a cape the longest, but haven't really gone out, because my power is useless in combat. Been thinking of things to name the team, mostly stuck with Magical Girls for now, but it sounds kinda corny."

"Don't have a name yet, but I guess something like Magical Shield? Fits with the theme, and it is my weapon." Haruna casually manifested a shield in each hand, before dismissing them into motes of light. Brandish's eyes widened at the sight. Their powers were similar, except Brandish was not limited to one type of weapon and they were made of energy.

"That would make me, what, Magical Escape? Magical Move? Probably not Magical Halberd, that sounds ominous." Dinah manifested her own weapon, carefully pointing it away from any potential victim. The experienced cape's eyes went over the two, a sharp glint in her eye. The similarity between the powers was likely giving her the impression of foul play. Even Flashbang threw a curious glance.

Genie's power surged for a second and she clenched her fist to keep herself from doing anything stupid. She could erase some of the heroes' memories, she had seen how easy it was, but that would only put a band aid on this bleeding wound. Eventually, she would come clean, hopefully before she was declared the second coming of Teacher.

"Did you, by any chance, all trigger at the same time?" Brandish said, glancing at her husband with a frown. That wasn't what Taylor expected her to lead with. Was there some sort of connection between when people triggered and their powers?

"No, I got my powers months ago, Magical Escape got them yesterday and Magical Shield received them when Bakuda came in just now."

"Oh, are we actually sticking to those names?"

"Wait," Brandish seemed to get even more confused, her eyes moving between the magical girls with more worry than before. "Are you saying you fought Bakuda and Oni Lee just after getting your powers? There's reckless and there is crazy. Do you even know what your powers do?"

Now that she thought about it, the two girls had gone through quite the ordeal, even if it was by their own decisions. They had matching uncomfortable smiles, with Dinah taking a step forward as the vastly more experienced cape.

"I got interrogated by the PRT yesterday, that gave me time to figure stuff out. They called me a Mover Brute Breaker combo, teleportation, special form and increased strength. I can counter Oni Lee, to an extent." She very carefully avoided mentioning her precognition powers, the single most versatile part of her power set. They also were not part of the magical girl package, though the bodily improvements has supposedly helped improve it.

"My powers are simpler, I think. I make shields and I am extremely durable. If I have some other powers, I have not had time to figure them out." She stopped for a second, considering something, before adding "I guess I have some sort of people sensor, since I can tell exactly where my sister is at any given time? Not sure how that works."

Brandish and Flashbang shared a really worried look between them, some sort of unspoken communication. They had been doing this for a long time, they had probably encountered this type of stuff before. Genie wasn't sure if she should talk, but she did not get the opportunity to consider it.

"I really wish we had time to discuss this, but the city is burning, people need evacuating and the ABB are still rampaging. Here," the older heroine said, handing Genie a card. 'Carol Dallon' was written on it, as well as a phone number, email and the address of her law firm. "If you need help, advice or a deeper introduction to cape culture, give me a call. We need as many heroes as possible, especially here in the Bay. Keep yourselves out of trouble, will you?"

That was the second time she had received that particular piece of advice and Taylor had a feeling she wouldn't be able to keep to it this time, either. Not with the bombings still going on. Not with Haruna still looking for revenge. Not with her shitty luck and need to help people.

"Thank you. No promises, though." She didn't want to lie to someone who had tried to help them, even if she still felt angry at the condescending tone. Brandish simply nodded before running off, her husband following after her.

"Hey, magical girls!" Vista, who had sort of faded into the background, called out to them. She looked a bit better, even if her costume still had signs of being burned. Her eyes were sad, but there was a sort of steel in them. Taylor was fairly certain the girl wouldn't forgive Bakuda for the events of the day. "Superiors say to rendezvous at a different base in the city, so I'm gonna have to go. But first, I wanna say thanks. Whatever Brandish might say, you went up against two strong capes, gave us time to set up the trap and helped patch up Clock at the end. For your first day out, that's a job well done."

"Same to you, that combo would have taken her down if Oni Lee didn't get involved." Taylor replied, a proud smile on her face. Sure, she hadn't done much, but it was praise from a hero! "A shame Clockblocker got injured like that, we could use his help if this happens again."

"Yeah, Panacea will hopefully solve that. Still, look forward to seeing you out there. Goodbye!" She waved as she left, communicating with someone via earbuds and a microphone attached to her costume. Probably PRT issue, to keep the team updated. Before long, the girl was out of sight.

Which left the team, if she could call it that, in the middle of a ruined street with no idea what to do. She looked at the two magical girls, who simply returned curious glances. She had made herself leader of this group, and now she found herself forced to make the calls. Wasn't that what she had wanted in the first place?

"First of all, let's find a quiet place and turn off the transformations," she said, eyeing a corner that had escaped some of the devastation, away from the incoming sound of the fire fighter trucks. The two followed her silently, Namura just a step behind, marveling at the state of the place. Dinah had taken care of evacuating most living people in the area, so all that was left was debris and occasionally corpses. They looked away from the latter.

Watching the girls return to their normal shapes was just as interesting as the original transformation. They still glowed, but it was a more fading type of glow, like comparing the sunrise and the sunset. With their fancy dresses gone, they were back to normal clothes. Dinah's uniform was completely untouched, contrasting the dust and dirt on her face and hair, while Haruna was dressed in a simple shirt and skirt that had suffered some tearing damage at some point during the explosion.

They almost felt like different people, outside of costume. In a way, they were: she was looking at two pupils, High School or Middle School, who got trapped in the wrong place at the wrong time. They weren't Magical Escape and Shield, who had fought off Oni Lee and Bakuda and saved lots of people. That was the sort of double identity environment that cape thrived in, to the extent that they could. She knew the Wards all went to Arcadia and were sometimes pulled out of class to fight villains. Would she have to do the same with this group? They had telepathy and a precog, they could probably pull it off.

Then again, what could she do with just two magical girls and herself? Especially with the limit of their gems. She needed a bigger group, ten or more girls that could work in shifts, keep anyone from figuring out who they were. She hadn't been to school in a while, not that anyone at Winslow cared, but the other girls were probably attending properly. She didn't want to sacrifice their childhoods just to make them heroes. She didn't want to be Teacher, no matter the similarity in powers.

"Uh, Genie? We're still here. Not gonna say anything?" It was Haruna who broke her out of her reverie, waving her hand in Taylor's face. Right, she could plan with them, not around them. She could do this, she had allies, not mindless thralls. She was fairly certain that, whatever crazy powers she had, controlling her magical girls was not one of them.

"Just thinking, sorry. We can't afford to wait around for too long, but I don't want to throw you to the wolves, either. Whatever else happens, I want you girls to be my partners, not my soldiers. Can you promise me that, if you see me slipping into that role, you will stop me?" They were her best bet right now, her allies. She was afraid to call them friends, since that made her think of Emma, and that was a different problem that she did not need right now.

"Don't worry about that, if I see you try to pull that kind of stuff, I will bash you with my shield," Haruna replied, a confident grin on her face. She had a sort of strength that Taylor had not remarked on before, standing tall and proud despite being shorter than her and just as lean. She could almost feel the determination in her glance, hiding the burning fury from earlier. It was transmitted through the mental link, just as Dinah had calmed them down before. Worrying, but she couldn't act on it yet.

"I would agree, but I feel the need to remind you, again, that I am not in this team, or any other team. I have every intention of going home and never using this power again. I have seen more explosions and been closer to death in the last hour than some World War Two veterans. This life is so not for me," Dinah replied, crossing her arms over her chest. The words stung, but Taylor was getting used to the idea. Maybe Magical Escape wouldn't join now, but at least she had helped save a lot of people. For all her grumpiness, if things got this bad again, she had little doubt the other girl would jump in to help.

"That's fine. Thanks for the help, good luck explaining stuff to your parents and remember that you have a place here, if you change your mind."

Dinah nodded and picked up her phone. Calling her parents, probably. Taylor remembered she had to do the same, and turned to Haruna.

"I'll call my dad, tell him I'm fine before he freaks out. You should do the same," she said, only for the other girl to flinch away. Damn it, had she touched on some private matters? She wasn't good at this, hadn't really talked to people since Emma and that was so long ago. Before she could apologize, the other girl waved her off.

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me." Haruna replied, turning around and saying something in another language to her sister. Namura smiled, clapping her hands several times.

Leaving the two girls to their fun, Taylor picked up her phone and got to thinking about what to tell her dad. It was obvious that she had been involved, if only because her clothes were even dirtier than Haruna's, but she didn't want to worry him too much. She also really hoped he was okay, that Bakuda hadn't hit the Dockworkers' Association as well.

Those few seconds of the phone ringing were intense. She could feel her teeth clench at the idea that her dad might have been hurt, or worse. If she lost him, she had no idea what she would do. She knew of no other relatives, and she might have to move out of Brockton Bay if they existed. She didn't want that, not so soon after she had started her team.

"Hello, Taylor?" Her father's voice brought a relief she had not expected. If nothing else he was alive, that would be enough. "Gods, are you okay? Did you get caught up in the blasts? What is going on?"

"Dad, slow down." It seemed she was not the only one who had panicked. This was a normal reaction, a proper familial worry. "The ABB blew up the Boardwalk, but I'm fine. Winded, shaken and covered in dust, but not hurt. My friends are also fine," she said, glancing at the other girls. She could hear the relief and happiness in his voice, even without seeing him and despite all the static. She doubted she was the only one. "What about you, did you get caught up?"

"No, but the ABB is out in force. There was a jeep with a bunch of armed thugs and some cape outside, just passed by the window. Some heroes were trying to give chase, but I think the guns scared them off. Things seem quiet, at least for now."

Taylor felt like she swallowed a lemon. Bakuda or Oni Lee had passed so close to her father. If that battle had continued, who knew what could have happened? Would Bakuda mind catching civilians in the blast if it took out the heroes? No, she was too crazed for that to stop her. Hadn't she help up a school, or something?

She could have stopped it. Sure, Dinah said there was a seventy percent chance she would die, but how many other deaths could she have prevented? All she had to do was find a knife, go invisible and stab her. That would have put a quick stop to Bakuda's reign of terror. The PRT wouldn't agree, but they would have no idea it was her, either. After all, her power was wish granting, not invisibility. But how long would the deception hold?

"Spooky. Still, try not to get involved, okay Dad? See you at home." She said, banishing the intrusive thoughts. She was a hero, she was supposed to protect people, not plot villains' demises. Even if they were crazy murderers.

"Sure thing kiddo, stay safe. Bye." His voice was somewhat hurried and she had a feeling there was more going on than he was telling her. Had someone been hurt in the fight? Would she have to attend Kurt or Lacey's funerals, all the while regretting not putting an end to this? She shook her head once more, pushing the thoughts aside.

Dinah was also done with her call. She had moved on to playing with Haruna and Namura, as someone closer to the younger sister in age. The difference between an eight year old and a fourteen year old was only somewhat smaller than the one between the former and a sixteen year old, but Dinah did not seem to mind. The game involved slapping the other's hand before they could move it out of the way, and it was obvious that the older girls were holding back, at least against Namura.

Taylor wanted to join in for a second, but she could not bring herself to. She had to do something, make some sort of move to hurt Bakuda's offense, before she hurt too many people. Right now, all she had was Haruna, and the girl was also busy caring for her sister. She needed more allies, more magical girls, ones that would not refuse to fight. Luckily, she already knew the first candidate. Who better to give power to than someone who already had some, and was already a hero to boot?

"Well, I'm going to get a move on," she told the group, who turned to face her. Haruna used the opportunity to catch Dinah's hand, when the precog was not looking. Said girl replied with a glare and a poke. "I want to get more magical girls, we need a proper team if we want to go up against people like Lung. I have a few ideas for new members, or at least potential ones."

"What should I do in the meantime, glorious team leader?" Haruna replied, poking Dinah right back. Namura joined in, poking them both. "I don't mind going after the bomber girl by myself, though I am less certain about the teleporter guy."

Genie took a moment to consider. She had seen the magical girl's abilities, but she wasn't exactly happy to let a girl her age attack a tinker like Bakuda all by herself. Who knew what new counter measures she could come up with, now that they had fought? Bombs, ones as diverse as these, couldn't be take lightly. But would the girl even be able to hold back her anger?

"First, get your sister to safety. Once that's done, I suggest sticking to patrolling on the edges of ABB territory. Stick to the thugs with guns, since your shields and general resilience should make you nigh invincible against them. If you see Bakuda, that's the bomber, feel free to engage, but don't chase after her. Who knows what crazy traps she might be laying around. Oni Lee, the teleporter, likewise, shouldn't be too much of a problem, but don't let him overwhelm you with clones. I shouldn't need to tell you this, but if you encounter Lung, big, metal wings and lots of fire, run. Just run."

The girl nodded, pulling her little sister to her chest and putting an end to both the game and the poking contest. Hopefully, she would be fine.

"If you need help, remember you've got telepathy, as well. Feel free to use it to keep in touch."

"Not gonna forget that one. I'll call once I've taken down that monster."

That would have to do.



Taylor had only bad memories to associate with Brockton Bay Hospital. It was where she had seen her mother, after the car accident. It was where she had lain in bed, following the locker incident. No good memories, no happy family reunions, no friends coming over to laugh at her. Emma had come with her to see her mother, but that was a tainted memory in its own way.

It was also not a place where one would casually go in the middle of a crisis. The place was overflowing with bodies, ambulances coming in and out at lighting speed. A long line of patients were gathered at the front door, trying to push their way through. The side door to the Emergency room had a smaller group trying and failing to get past security, who tried to keep things orderly.

There was no way she would be able to go in, either way. Thankfully, her power had a trick just for this type of problem, much as she hated using it. It reminded her of the locker, and it also felt inhuman, in a way her other powers didn't.

She approached, invisible, from a corner with no cameras and no witnesses. Not that anyone would care to notice a young girl just disappearing with no sign. They would assume either delusions or cape shenanigans. In Brockton Bay, you didn't get involved with the latter if you valued your life.

She pressed herself to the wall, next to a window, checking that she would not bump into a cabinet or, God forbid, manifest inside a locker. Then, with a deep breath, she pushed herself forward. She felt her body disassemble like a puzzle, turning into small fragments which passed through the wall. For a few, terrifying seconds, she could not feel or think as she was not technically a body. Then, she was suddenly on the other side, her body put back together. She pushed the ethical dilemmas as far away as possible- was she even the same Taylor, or just a clone made from thin air?- and pressed herself to the wall once more.

Stretchers were racing through the halls, passing each other as they went into the ICU and out, pushed by nurses, doctors and volunteers. She couldn't afford to bump into anything: she was invisible not untouchable, and whoever stumbled into her would get quite a scare at the invisible person. Considering the city was a warzone, panicking doctors would be a bad idea. She did not need a PRT squad firing foam randomly to try and hit her.

Now that she was inside the building, her mission was easier. There were two sources of immense potential in the building and a few lesser ones. One of the former was definitely Glory Girl and the other could potentially be either her sister or one of the Wards. Shadow Stalker was about the right age, if she remembered correctly? Or it could be neither, or a villain that had been taken in for healing. Speculating would get her nowhere.

She felt for the closer source, following the wave of potential through the maze-like corridors. Some were vaguely familiar, but most were too similar to tell apart. Thankfully, one of the sources was on the same floor, which meant she didn't have to dodge people on the stairs. Eventually, the wave led her to a room in a section whose name she had not bothered to look at. What she did notice was the PRT soldier standing guard at the door. Shit. Was this the hero ward, or just the general cape ward?

Many plans went through her mind, from mind wiping to distraction, but she settled for pulling the trick again, awful as it felt. Doors were no match for her weird teleportation trick. Very quietly, to prevent the guard from noticing, she approached and leaned on the door. Her power took over once more, and a few seconds later she was on the other side, with no one the wiser.

The room was mostly empty, six beds divided three by three, each facing one other and with a small cupboard on the end. Only two of them were occupied, Glory Girl laying down flipping through a cape dossier in one, while Clockblocker slept in the other. Without a mask. Double shit. She carefully looked away and forced herself to forget having seen it. If only it were that easy.

She took a step towards the girl's bed, almost wincing at the sheer potential washing off of her, only for the girl to sit up suddenly, their eyes locking into each other. Glory Girl went through several emotions, shock, panic, recognition, confusion before settling on a wary curiosity. Taylor felt fear washing over her, without any prompting. Even the Ward started moving around in his sleep, murmuring something she tried to ignore.

"You're the girl I saved earlier. How did you get in here?" Her voice was calm, but harsh and her eyes were almost as sharp as her mother's. Genie raised her hands in surrender, walking over to the next bed to sit down. The staring contest only continued long enough to cause shivers down her spine, but she tried to stay somewhat calm.

"Yes, thank you for that, by the way. My name is Genie, and I am an independent hero, currently putting together a team." Genie said, almost stuttering over the last part. It wasn't important, but she felt the need to say it. Judging by the girl's unimpressed look, it did not help much.

"That's what a villain would say, if they were trying to sneak in here to kill us in our sleep. You didn't answer my question," her voice raised in intensity, if not volume, and Genie felt fear through every last pore of her body. This cape could strangle her in a moment and she wouldn't be able to fight back, couldn't hurt her through her invincibility. She almost sent a message to Haruna to come and help her, but she controlled herself at the last second.

"I can go invisible, and move through walls. I just sneaked past the guards, but I have no bad intentions, I promise!" she said in a hurry, keeping her hands close to her chest in an instinctual attempt to protect herself. Glory Girl looked at her for several seconds, before sighing and shaking her head. Suddenly, the fear disappeared and the Ward stopped struggling in his sleep. His instincts must have been quite sharp to feel the fear in his sleep.

"If you plan to get me for your team, I'm going to have to tell you to go to hell. New Wave is the family team, not going to abandon them that easily. I don't care what you are offering." The girl crossed both her arms and her legs, a bored look on her face. The words felt bad, but Taylor had expected as much. She had not expected to be able to get her in the first place.

"You don't have to. Aside from the whole invisibility and passing through walls, I have one more important power. I grant wishes, and with them powers." She said, drawing in closer. The girl had a look of shock for a second, which clearly morphed into skepticism.

"A power granter? We speaking Othala or Teacher, here?" The girl replied, her eyes going back to the dossier she had held earlier. Genie hadn't taken the girl for one who did their research, but she could roll with it.

"More the latter, though I hate the comparison. Permanent powers, well technically, no mind control, and the powers are more on the physical than mental side."

"Technically permanent? What exactly does that mean?"

"When you get your powers, you get a shining gem. It acts as a sort of power source. The more you use your powers, the more it darkens. Eventually, it goes fully black."

Glory Girl picked up a notebook and wrote down several terms, only some of which Taylor was familiar with. That was more than anyone had cared to ask so far. Close to the limit of what she actually knew about her powers. She didn't want to appear unprofessional in front of an experienced hero, one she could see had dealt with this stuff before.

"The power you get is connected, at least somewhat, to what you wish for. Since you have a ridiculous amount of potential, the most I have seen so far, you can wish for anything. Money, fame, a boyfriend, immortality, your very own country, no limits there."

The girl stopped, eyes moving wildly between the notebook and her face, disbelief clear. She cut several things, rewriting a bunch of small notes. Was she writing down potential wishes, with powers associated with them?

"That's certainly a burden. Why do I have all this potential, exactly? What makes me special?"

"I'm not sure. I don't get to decide who can get a wish. Some people have more potential than others, some less, some none at all. Those last ones are the vast majority and they can't even get a wish in the first place, no matter how small."

More writing, less frenzied but more contemplative. Taylor wondered when this had turned into an explanation of her own powers. Was she just bad at selling her idea, here? Or was the girl looking for loopholes or potential lies?

"Any patterns on the potentials, who gets it and how much of it?"

"Thus far, it is limited to girls and there seems to be some sort of age correlation. I originally thought the younger the better, but Vista's potential feels weird, despite her having it."

"Perhaps an age range, rather than an indirect proportionality?"

The thought was worth considering, and it did fit with her current experience. Perhaps this discussion would be quite productive after all.

Just as she was about to try and explain the wish power correlation, the door gently opened and another girl slipped in, pushing her hood back to reveal some serious bags under her eyes. Her potential filled the room to an impressive degree. Taylor wasn't sure which of the two had more potential, but what she did know was that either one would be an amazing asset.

Too bad it was Panacea. Why did New Wave get all the strong candidates?
 
Brandish was starting to suspect the truth in that they're playing with a completely separate deck of cards.
I fully expected Panacea to have more potential than any other major character, so that didn't come as a surprise. Potential is largely a combination of how important you are to others, and how emotionally unstable you are. Panacea is very high in both categories.
I have every intention of going home and never using this power again.
And then you'll die.

Permanent powers, well technically,
No "technically" about it. Very permanent. More permanent than parahuman powers. Takes an immense amount of energy to undo the process.

"When you get your powers, you get a shining gem. It acts as a sort of power source. The more you use your powers, the more it darkens. Eventually, it goes fully black."
And then you turn into a monster that your friends will have to fight, after which they use what's left of your soul to recharge themselves.

I feel bad for how none of them know just how doomed they all are. Pretty much the only benefits from the same powers as a parahuman are the wish, lack of a Conflict Engine, and possible immortality if they're lucky enough to never overload their soul gem or have it broken. Everything else is pretty much unambiguously worse.
This is assuming Witch era. If it's Wraith era, then they just die and God takes them to Magical Girl heaven.
 
I REALLY don't want to see Panacea Witch Out.

Also, your regular reminder that right now every single Magical Girl is a ticking bomb on an inexorable countdown to Witching Out.
 
This is assuming Witch era. If it's Wraith era, then they just die and God takes them to Magical Girl heaven.

Or it could be the rebellion arc. come to think of it, They never really showed us just how much Hourma changed things by forcing Makoda to be a normal girl and then taking over as the new "law of cycles". We do know that Homura did force all Incubators to take Madoka's place in bearing the collective misery of magical girls across time. So what if instead of making the girls witch out, Taylor just takes on their collective suffering into herself without knowing it?
It would certainly fit in with the "Taylor is suffering" trope that so many other fanfics have.

But maybe that would be too easy? Maybe it'd be a mixture of the two, like in the Magica Record spinoff where The girls have to conquer the darkness in their souls in order to become stronger, and be able to summon a mini-witch verison of themselves in order to defeat monsters.
 
I just read this and had to refigure out my account but anyway, Taylor could just create one witch in some far off, forgotten place and then that witch could spawn familiars and thus familiars can turn into witches themselves.

A totally out of character plan but it can work.

Another thing does Taylor have Kyubey style immortality or even some sort of body duplication (that gives pseudo immortality)??
 
I just read this and had to refigure out my account but anyway, Taylor could just create one witch in some far off, forgotten place and then that witch could spawn familiars and thus familiars can turn into witches themselves.
Unfortunately I'm pretty sure witches have to kill people to make familiars, and familiars need to kill people to become witches.
 
Interesting story! Regarding feedback, there are three primary issues I see:

First, everyone sounds the same! All characters use the exact same vocabulary and tone, even when their ages and backgrounds are far different.

Second, the words seem to advance through the action too quickly. I'm not saying the story needs to slow down, but right now it feels a bit too close to a list of events rather than a full story. Try adding more descriptions! They fill out stories wonderfully. Though slowing down the pacing might be beneficial too, now that I think about it.

Finally, your pronoun use is sometimes confusing. You say "she" a lot, and it's sometimes difficult to tell who's being talked about when the cast is full of girls. Like this:
At last, she saw the girl approach from the other edge of the street and waved at her. Unlike her frilly dress costume or the nice fashionable clothes she had been wearing at the mall, her school uniform looked normal, the kind of cheap, affordable clothing that anyone in Brockton Bay could buy.
 
Last edited:
Interesting story! Regarding feedback, there are three primary issues I see:

First, everyone sounds the same! All characters use the exact same vocabulary and tone, even when their ages and backgrounds are far different.

Second, the words seem to advance through the action too quickly. I'm not saying the story needs to slow down, but right now it feels a bit too close to a list of events rather than a full story. Try adding more descriptions! They fill out stories wonderfully. Though slowing down the pacing might be beneficial too, now that I think about it.

Finally, your pronoun use is sometimes confusing. You say "she" a lot, and it's sometimes difficult to tell who's being talked about when the cast is full of girls. Like this:
Thank you so much for the feedback!

The first issue I have been working on, though it is harder in this instance when so much of the cast is similar in age and upbringing. The pronoun thing is easier now that they have two names, I will see about fixing some glaring instances from earlier.

As for the second, I have to admit I am bad at descriptions and tend to kind of rush the pacing. I will try to slow it down some, but ultimately slow burn isn't my style. Hopefully I can strike a better balance, eventually.
 
Brandish was starting to suspect the truth in that they're playing with a completely separate deck of cards.
I fully expected Panacea to have more potential than any other major character, so that didn't come as a surprise. Potential is largely a combination of how important you are to others, and how emotionally unstable you are. Panacea is very high in both categories.
And then you'll die.

No "technically" about it. Very permanent. More permanent than parahuman powers. Takes an immense amount of energy to undo the process.

And then you turn into a monster that your friends will have to fight, after which they use what's left of your soul to recharge themselves.

I feel bad for how none of them know just how doomed they all are. Pretty much the only benefits from the same powers as a parahuman are the wish, lack of a Conflict Engine, and possible immortality if they're lucky enough to never overload their soul gem or have it broken. Everything else is pretty much unambiguously worse.
This is assuming Witch era. If it's Wraith era, then they just die and God takes them to Magical Girl heaven.
I think a large part of the problem with the witches was that kyuubi was farming them. With an incubator that is actually supportive and not a total sociopath, the situation is a lot better. Just need to get Tay up to speed.
 
I think a large part of the problem with the witches was that kyuubi was farming them. With an incubator that is actually supportive and not a total sociopath, the situation is a lot better. Just need to get Tay up to speed.
She'll also probably think twice before contracting anyone, only doing it if absolutely necessary, thereby reducing energy yields and dooming the universe to a quicker death. :D
I won't be surprised in the slightest if she just decides that prolonging the universe just isn't worth it and swear off contracting anyone at all. This is the Witch Bomb on steroids.
 
odd dinah should know if she's going to die... but she's just rolling with it i wonder if her power think the transformation is an improvement

you know now all this talk got me thinking there are way to escalte a worm/PMMM fic x20 it goes like this both horror and crack

Taylor create magical girls D'old deal a wish then over time or use the soul gem darken here the twits intead of turning into wraiths or witches after certain amound of black soul gem are around it summon Walpurgis

Walpurgis then go on kill spree as usual... but every unpowered it kill turn into a wraith

and parahuman and magical girl turn into witches over time

but there's more after the black souls gems summon it they get purified so if they fight it darken again so it might end up summonig more XD

to twist it more the girls kill follow the same rules so to avoid Walpurgis they have to Fight to death...

it would be a glorious ending up with thousands of magic girls and parahuman fighting all out in golden morning thounsand of black gem hundred's walpurgis then if they kill zion he pull a homura XD

p.s yeah my horror/crack endind is a time loop with kyubey-Taylor trying to create a Godoka
 
Last edited:
IMO potential is atemporal impact of a character. So if in 100 fanfics Pan Pan goes "kill all humans" because GG drove her insane they get potential, while poor vista is forgotten by half the fandom other then being "aww cute"
 
IMO potential is atemporal impact of a character. So if in 100 fanfics Pan Pan goes "kill all humans" because GG drove her insane they get potential, while poor vista is forgotten by half the fandom other then being "aww cute"
Honestly I see Vista take the B-lister position more often than "aww cute" in fanfic. While she never gets any major focus, she's almost always a genuine ass kicker.

A better example of a 'low potential' girl would be Asiha, who gets a major chunk of screentime in canon, but almost always ends up as a background character. Like there's so many fics where Brian fixes her family problems offscreen so he can go and be a hero/not work for Coil.
 
A better example of a 'low potential' girl would be Asiha, who gets a major chunk of screentime in canon, but almost always ends up as a background character. Like there's so many fics where Brian fixes her family problems offscreen so he can go and be a hero/not work for Coil.
Yeah, a lot don't have her trigger at all, and often staying on the background when she does, so she ends up staying irrelevant. It's actually kind of a shame.
 
Back
Top