I'm a Trans Girl Reincarnated in Another World??

[ScottishMongol]

Spoiler: Author's Note

Hello! Okay, this is what it says on the tin - an isekai novel with a trans girl protagonist. This isn't a mean-spirited deconstruction of the genre, rather this is my attempt to seriously take the concept of escapist wish fulfillment and, instead of a bland male self-insert protagonist, shape it around a trans lesbian protagonist. This concept ended up going to some raw places, so there will be some discussions and depictions of issues trans people face such as transphobia and body dysphoria. I will endeavor to include content warnings.

Also, since this is an isekai, the protagonist is obviously going to end up with a harem of cute girls so eventually there will be explicit sex scenes.

CWs for this chapter: Body dysphoria, self-loathing, transphobia, implied suicidal ideation, and nudity.

Chapter 1​

Iris couldn't remember how she died. That was troubling to begin with. She was pretty sure she was dead, though.

"I mean, I could be dreaming," her voice rasped. Ugh, her throat was sore for some reason. That didn't usually happen in dreams, did it?

She was standing in a black void surrounded by drifting fingers of white mist. There was light coming from somewhere, but all it illuminated was the mist and herself. She looked down at her clothes; she was wearing her oversized hoodie and stained jeans. It was kind of a stupid outfit to die in, she thought, as she scratched at her body self-consciously. No, this was all too real and uncomfortable to be a dream.

Then again, it was also too real and uncomfortable to be death. Being dead was supposed to feel like nothing. Iris didn't believe in Heaven or Hell, but this was too normal to be either.

"I haven't been abducted by aliens, have I?" she asked. Maybe that's what that bright light was.

"Not in a manner of speaking, no," said another voice. This voice was much smoother than hers, confident, unmistakably feminine. Iris turned around and froze like a deer in the headlights.

It was an apt metaphor, the first one that came to mind, because the beautiful, naked woman lounging on the couch in front of her had four arms and the head of a wolf.

She was tall, maybe a full head taller than Iris' own six foot one. She was naked, except for a strategically placed loincloth of red silk. Her breasts hung across her chest, full and topped by pink nipples. She was muscled like an athlete; her thighs, casually stretched out in front of her, were thick and powerful; her stomach was flat and chiseled; her four arms were each draped across the back of the couch, and each one had biceps thicker than Iris' thighs.

She was, in short, a goddess.

"You were expecting Madokami, maybe?" the goddess asked, laughter playing on her voice. The way her mouth moved when she spoke was too real for this to be a trick. Iris wasn't sure where to look – her hot body, or the wolf head attached to it.

"This is a lot, man," Iris said to herself. The goddess' smile faded, and she made a soothing gesture with one of her right hands.

"I understand you're probably disoriented, so let me answer some of your questions." She raised another hand, began lifting fingers as she counted. "One: you are dead. I am, genuinely, very sorry about that. You didn't deserve it. Two: I have removed your memories of your death. I feel that they would have been too upsetting for you."

Iris nodded slowly. Okay, her first feeling was correct: she was dead. She tried to wrap her head around it. She'd never have to go to her shitty job again, fine. She wouldn't have to pay rent on her shitty apartment, good. Her family, well, they hated her, so, whatever. Her friends online…they'd miss her. She actually felt bad about that. She'd never wanted anyone to worry about her.

"You're taking this rather well."

"Yeah, I mean…I didn't have much to look forward to, did I?"

The goddess gave her a sympathetic look.

"You might have had everything to look forward to, if you'd lived. That's why it's sad. Don't feel guilty about your friends, though. Mourning is for the living. And besides," she suddenly gave Iris a wolfish grin, "In the fullness of time, you may see them again."

She sounded like she was quoting from something. Iris opened her mouth to ask another question, but the goddess was a step ahead of her, raising a third finger.

"Three: I am your goddess. Not like your patron goddess, more like…your personal goddess. If that makes any sense to you."

"It doesn't, but thanks. I just…don't know why any of this is happening to me," Iris said, the words rushing out.

"Four: you are here because someone appreciates what you went through."

"…appreciates?"

The goddess sighed and lowered her hand.

"Ugh, how do I explain this…? Suffering…it doesn't mean anything. Nothing happens that makes suffering worth it. But your suffering is recognized nevertheless."

"I didn't suffer that much," Iris said lamely, "Not as much as some people. I lived in the first world and—"

The goddess waved her hand.

"Iris, please," she said, the first time she had used Iris' name, "When you're a goddess, you learn that suffering doesn't have equivalence. It's all just…pain. As your personal goddess, I am giving you permission to feel bad for yourself."

"…huh."

Iris thought about it. Really thought about it.

It was freeing, being dead. She didn't have to keep her feelings bottled up to make it through the day. She could finally relax, stop being in survival mode, and take stock of her emotions. And the second she did that, everything came pouring out.

Her family, her job, her shitty apartment, her own body that seemed to hate her and that she hated back because it made her feel disgusting, weak, and helpless. It was enough to make her want to…to…

Iris dropped to her knees and started crying. When she was done—she wasn't sure after how long— her throat was raw from sobbing and tears streaked down her face. She brushed them away with the sleeve of her hoodie and sniffled. It felt like years of bottled-up pain had come welling out. It felt…

"That…that actually felt pretty good," she rasped, then coughed again.

"Crying is good. You're allowed to grieve for yourself," the wolf-headed goddess said in what Iris thought was the sort of tone a therapist would use. "You're brave, and strong."

"Why is this happening to me?" Iris asked again. The goddess waved one of her hands.

"You're getting another chance. A chance to actually turn into the person you want to be, deep down."

Iris didn't know who she wanted to be deep down, but that was sort of the point. She'd never been given the room to find out.

"Right. This is…some stupid isekai story, isn't it?" Iris said. She wiped her nose with her sleeve, sniffled one last time, and stood up. "Alright, tell me where I'm dropping."

The goddess raised her hand, finger extended. At first, Iris thought the goddess was pointing at her, but then she turned around.

It was beautiful. The mists had parted to let her look down on a marble. It wasn't Earth, she could tell with a single glance at the shape of the continents. Clouds scudded over the face of it, oceans shone in blue and green, sunlight glittered on the ice caps. Iris knew that this was no illusion, it was real, and that she was looking at this world as the gods must.

"What kind of world is it?" Iris asked. She looked up; the goddess was still sitting across from her, as if Iris hadn't turned around at all.

"Oh, I think you know the deal. Knights, elves, magic."

"I'm not going to, like, die of dysentery, am I?"

"I think you'll find magic makes up for a lot. No, this world will have everything you need."

"So, do I get some cool overpowered ability?" Iris asked, only half-seriously expecting the goddess to say yes. Instead, the goddess gave her a smile that was positively wolfish. Iris once again felt like a deer about to bolt.

"You aren't going to be the best swordsman in the realm right away. However, there is something I can give you that will keep you alive down there, if you'll accept it."

"What do I need to do?" Iris asked. Not dying again was pretty high on her list of priorities here. Once she was alive, she could figure out who she was.

"Become my avatar. We'll share a form, and I'll lend you part of my power. You'll have to learn to use it, but I think it's exactly what you need."

"What, like, possess me?"

"No, more like…let me along for the ride."

Iris wanted to ask a million questions, not least of all what the goddess got out of it, but frankly she was done questioning her second chance. She wanted to live, to actually be free and happy and loved. She was desperate enough for it that she would accept anything.

"What kind of goddess are you, anyway?"

She gave Iris that wolfish grin again.

"A violent one."

"Oh." Yeah, that would keep her alive alright. "Okay, uh, how do we do this, then?"

Iris breathed softly. The goddess was gone, and Iris felt hands touch her wrists, shoulders, the back of her neck. The goddess' voice was in her ear.

"I like you, Iris. You're a fighter."

It was the most uncanny feeling. It felt like the goddess was putting her on, sliding into her like a new coat. Iris looked at their hands, moving in perfect sync together, like a choreographed dance, and Iris understood. They were the same, just for a second, and then Iris was in control again.

"You're a brave girl. I know you can do this," she said to herself.

And then Iris saw a bright, white light, and she went towards it.

 

[ScottishMongol]

Spoiler: Author's Note

CW: Accidental misgendering

Part of my mantra for this story was "earned wish fulfillment", so Iris does not immediately get her ideal body right at the start of the story, she's going to have to transition on her own.

"Are you okay? How the Hell did you get down here?"

Iris was sitting against a stone wall, blinking in the light of – what was that? It wasn't a torch, it was too steady and bright, but it couldn't be electric.

"I don't know. Where am I?"

She remembered the goddess, she remembered — oh, right, she had been dead, briefly. This place was too uncomfortable to be death. She was starting to ground herself, and she saw now that she had woken up in a bare stone room. Moisture dripped from the ceiling and trickled down the walls, and puddles splashed beneath her converse when she shifted her position. To the side, Iris saw a door, made of heavy wooden beams and barred with twisted iron.

And kneeling right in front of her was a woman with a stern, beautiful face. Smooth, pale skin, with a dusting of freckles and a scar across the bridge of her nose. She was wearing full plate armor, the visor of her helm pushed up to show her face. A few locks of feathery white-blonde hair escaped from beneath her mail coif. She held in her hand a stone that glowed with bright, steady light.

"Are you alright, sir?" she asked.

"I'm a woman," Iris said testily. A blush crept across the woman's fair skin.

"I apologize, my lady." She stood up, offering her hand to Iris, "I must say, I didn't expect to find a lone maiden at the bottom of this dungeon, and in such strange garb."

Iris looked down at her clothing. Ugh. She was still wearing her old black boymoder hoodie and unwashed jeans. Her black hair fell lank and greasy around her shoulders. She had just died and been possessed by a goddess and come back to life, and she hadn't even gotten a chance to wash her hair? Awful.

At least she didn't look out of place with how dirty she was. The knight looked like…well, like she had been living underground for the last few days. There was grime smeared all over her armor and her cloak was spotted with mildew stains.

The lady knight drew herself up, and seemed shocked for a moment as Iris towered over her. Iris wobbled slightly; she suddenly realized it must have been a long time since she'd eaten. The lady knight put out a hand to steady her, but Iris brushed her off.

"I'm fine," Iris said.

"I only meant to assist you!" the knight said. Iris rolled her eyes. "May I ask your name, my lady?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm Iris…Iris Pfenning."

"Iris Penny," the knight said, half to herself. Iris opened her mouth to correct her, then realized she actually didn't care. She'd never been very attached to her family name, not after what her family had put her through. Penny was a cute last name anyway.

"Sorry, I don't even know where I am. Who are you?" What the fuck is going on? she wanted to add, but she was trying to just take stock of the situation.

"I am Madame Alessa Harcourt."

"And, let me guess, you're on a quest?"

Alessa drew herself up, trying to look dignified. Iris felt herself smile; she liked the defiant set of Alessa's jaw and the way her pretty blue eyes caught the light.

"I have been sent to delve into this ancient, ruined temple of a lost heathen war goddess, to uncover lost artifacts that may be of value to my house." She looked at Iris skeptically. "We did not expect to find a strange maiden who doesn't even know how she got down here."

Iris filed away bits of information, like that the use of "we" probably meant Alessa had not come alone, and that this was the temple of a war goddess, which could not have been a coincidence.

"Alessa-"

"Madame Alessa," the knight said, glaring at her. Okay, so it was going to be like that.

"Madame Alessa, may I trust you with a secret?"

Alessa paused, glanced at the door, then nodded.

"I am sworn to treat maidens well. I suppose that includes being trusted in their confidence."

"Right. I'm from…another world. I died, in my world, and I woke up here."

She could add all the stuff about the goddess when it became relevant. Along with the details of her life, when she decided to actually trust Alessa. The details she could remember, anyway.

Alessa, to Iris' shock, merely nodded, pursing her lips in thought.

"Such things are known to happen. Why, the King himself came from another world."

Something about the way Alessa said that told Iris that there was something she wasn't saying, but she didn't press her. So far, this conversation was going well.

"So," Alessa continued, "You mean to say that you cannot go back, and you are alone here?"

"Yes, I…suppose so."

"Hmph. Then I suppose it is my duty as a knight to provide you with protection."

"Gee, thanks," Iris mumbled. Alessa either missed her comment or ignored it politely. Instead, she offered Iris the door.

Iris stepped out into a hallway, where she discovered what Alessa meant by "we". There were three other individuals loitering in the hall, an older man and two teenagers.

"Everyone, it appears our strange guest is the Lady Iris Penny. My lady, this is my man-at-arms, Bors," Alessa said, gesturing at the older man.

Bors had the look of a grizzled veteran. He looked to be in his forties, with a short, bristly black beard, a weathered face, and an expression of hardened professionalism. His skin was so deeply tanned Iris wasn't sure if it was his natural skin tone or if he had just spent that long in the sun. He tapped a finger against the brim of his half-helm. He wore a steel breastplate, gauntlets and vambraces, and had a longsword belted at his waist. On his back was a heavy pack that clanked when he moved.

"M'lady," he said. Iris felt herself relax just a bit. At least wherever she was, the people would be accepting of her identity. Or maybe just very polite.

"And these are my cousins, Alexa and Robert," Alessa continued. "They are serving as my squires."

Iris blinked in surprise. They were young; Iris guessed that they were about middle school age. Surely they were a bit too young to be going on dangerous adventures in dungeons. Both wore suits of full plate, and had removed their helmets to reveal youthful, eager faces. Alexa had a bit of a family resemblance to her older cousin; Robert had a darker complexion.

Both of them bowed and murmured polite greetings.

"Yeah, nice to meet you," Iris said quietly. She glanced at Alessa, who had pursed her lips thoughtfully.

"Lady Iris, since you are under my protection, I must consider your safety. Our task remains to retrieve artifacts of power from this dungeon, and we cannot allow you to be injured. Bors, do we have any extra gear she can use?"

Bors cast about in his pack, producing a spare helmet and a mail shirt. The mail was heavier than she expected, but sat easily on her broad shoulders once she had tightened a spare belt around her waist. In the end she had to pull up the hood of her sweater so that the helmet could fit her more comfortably.

"I feel stupid."

"Better than feeling dead," Bors said casually.

"You're telling me," Iris muttered to herself.

 

[ScottishMongol]

Spoiler: Author's Note

Brief combat against the requisite giant slime. I literally rolled on a random encounter table for this!

This dungeon had levels to it. Each was composed of long halls with empty rooms opening up on either side, with intersections taking the form of junctions with many doors and halls branching off them. The first set of stairs they came to was blocked, the stairwell filled in by collapsed rubble.

"We'll have to find another way down," Alessa said. She was on point; it was decided that since Iris didn't know how to use a weapon properly, she would only hurt herself if given one. Instead, she was to stick next to the knight and hold her lightstone, the magic item the party used in place of a torch. Iris felt dumb and helpless, but she reluctantly decided the others were right; if she started swinging a sword around, she was going to do the exact opposite of help in a fight.

"Who was this goddess, anyway?"

Alessa turned her head, her voice echoing inside her helmet.

"Her name has been lost to history. This temple was raised a hundred and forty years ago, at the height of her worship, and had fallen into decline even before the Great Plague."

In other words, the goddess that now inhabited Iris' body may have lost all her worshipers in this world — maybe everywhere. That may have explained why she wanted Iris to become her avatar.

Bors brought up the rear, and the squires flanked Iris as she shadowed Alessa. The teenagers seemed to treat Iris with a kind of awe — to them, she was just another magical being they had encountered on their first great adventure away from home.

"We encountered some goblins nesting in the upper levels," Alessa continued, "But since then, nothing. I wonder why…"

Iris shuddered; she didn't know what kind of goblins this world had, but she definitely didn't like the idea of having to fight them.

"There were the bats," said Alexa, "Lots of them! But they didn't bother us."

"Animals usually don't," Bors said. "If something down here's trying to kill you, it's either smart or desperate."

Alessa turned to look at Iris. She was doing that frequently, but her expression was unreadable behind her visor. Iris tried to avoid staring back; for one thing, she was keeping her head on a swivel looking for threats. Whenever she noticed Alessa staring, she just gave the lady knight an awkward smile and glanced away.

"Are you feeling better?" Alessa asked.

"Huh? Oh, right. Yes, thank you for the food." It had been hardtack and salted beef; tough and bland, but filling. Iris felt better with a full belly.

Iris was noticing piles of small bones pushed into the corners. Rats, or bats maybe — she didn't want to look too closely.

"Alessa?"

"Madame Alessa."

"Right. What do you think left all these bones?"

"Vermin eating vermin," Alessa said confidently. Iris wasn't so sure.

Iris heard a sound like the world's biggest drain being unclogged. Everyone froze.

"Um. Did anyone else hear that?"

"Aye," Bors said, raising his shield and loosening his sword in its sheath. "That'll be what we call a problem."

Around the corner ahead of them came pouring a wave of semi-translucent slime. It was bluish-green and oozed slowly forward, and Iris had the sudden hysterical thought of that industrial disaster in the 1800s that flooded a whole neighborhood with molasses.

"Bors, what do we do?" asked Alessa, trying to keep her voice steady. "Run?"

"Running won't help, it's a persistence hunter."

"And I don't think swords will be of much use," the knight added.

Iris wanted to run. She wanted to live, and getting consumed by the fucking Blob wasn't part of the plan. She didn't even know why she was here — to be who she wanted to be? She didn't even know who that was!

You're brave, Iris, you can do this.

"Fire!" Iris blurted out, "Drive it off with fire!"

Bors and Alessa looked at each other, then the older man nodded.

"That could work. Squires! Torches, now! Madame Alessa, we'll fend it off."

Alessa and her man-at-arms drew their swords and stepped forward, putting themselves between the slime and the rest of the party. Iris saw Bors land a heavy, sure cut across the front of the slime wave; it split apart like jello cut with a knife, and it drew back slightly and started globbing back together. So, the slime could feel external stimuli. This would work.

Iris drew her attention over to the teenage squires, who were fumbling with the baggage. Iris was holding the lightstone, feeling stupid.

Robert was trembling as he bound together a torch, while Alexa grabbed the tinderbox, casting worried glances at the looming wave of slime. Iris suddenly remembered they were kids, and she didn't want them to die either. She didn't want any of them to die!

She looked at the baggage; an earthenware jar rolled out, and Iris stopped it with her foot. On instinct, she dropped the lightstone – the shadows jerked and danced and loomed eerily, the whole hallway illuminated with a green glow as light was refracted through the semi-translucent slime.

"It's trying to get in my armor," Alessa said, fighting to keep her voice from rising to a high frantic pitch.

Iris bent down and opened the jar. It was oil! The squires must have used it for polishing Alessa's armor. Iris immediately stood up and threw the jar. It was a perfect throw; she lobbed it overhand, and it arced right between Bors and Alessa and spilled oil all over the slime. A second later Robert appeared at her side with a torch; she grabbed it from him and lunged forward, stabbing at the slime with it, and it went up like a crème brulee. Flames licked across its surface, cooking it.

The slime moved, faster than Iris could have imagined, retreating up the corridor, still burning, filling the air with a noxious, savory smell.

Iris was breathing heavily, her hands shaking. The torch slipped from her fingers and guttered out.

She looked at Bors and Alessa, who were gazing at her with surprise.

"What?" she asked, "What just happened?"

"You saved us," Alessa said, leaning on her sword. She shook a bit of errant slime off her boot, while Bors cleaned his sword and sheathed it.

"Didn't think you had it in you," he said.

Iris looked around. The young squires were looking at her with something like awe.

"It just uh…seemed like the thing to do," she said.

 

[ScottishMongol]

Spoiler: Author's Note

CW: Body dysphoria, discussion of transphobia.

Iris is doing the best with what she has at hand.

"This looks like a common area," Bors said.

He was right; they had finally found a set of stairs that led them down to a large landing, with stone tables and benches. Hallways branched off on either side, and there were doors in the walls.

"I'm worn out," Iris said, "Can we rest for a minute?"

As soon as she said it, she yawned. Alessa turned around and unbuckled her helmet. It was the first time Iris had seen her without it; as Alessa let the mail coif slip from her head to rest around her shoulders, she revealed white-blonde hair bound in a tight, high bun. She scratched the back of her neck and sighed.

"We should sleep here for the night," Alessa said, "I'm unsure how long it's been outside, but it feels like we've been exploring all day."

"Aye," Bors said, "I'd say it's been ten hours or so." Iris was beginning to respect the old veteran; he was clearly a couple decades older than Alessa and was experienced in dungeon-delving, and she got the feeling he had been sent along as her minder on her first quest.

The party explored the adjoining rooms to make sure there were no unwelcome surprises. There weren't; instead, they found what seemed to be bedrooms or the ancient cultic equivalent of a rec center. There were a few ancient, rotting bits of furniture in some of them.

"Lady Iris and I will stay in this one," Alessa announced, "Bors, you and the squires take the next one."

"Um." Iris shuffled her feet. Alessa looked at her, one eyebrow raised curiously.

"Is that a problem, my lady? I thought, for your modesty…"

"R-right. Thank you. Hey, awkward question. Where do we use the bathroom?" Iris asked. She was starting to realize that adventuring in a fantasy land may actually be gross and uncomfortable sometimes.

"This temple was built with living quarters in mind. It has latrines," the squire Robert offered. "We found one over there."

"Oh, good."

"It's a hole in the floor over a deep pit," Bors added, laughing.

***

It was a harrowing experience, frankly. Iris kept expecting a giant slime or a goblin or some other monster to come crawling out of the latrine. When she finished, she walked into the room that Alessa had decided they would share, probably out of some overabundance of chivalry. She took off her helmet and ran her fingers through her hair; it was becoming tangled, which made her feel super gross.

"Can you help me out of my armor?" Alessa asked.

Iris felt heat blossom in her chest.

"Uh…I- I guess?"

She stood behind Alessa, reminding her how tall Iris was in comparison. She found the buckles and started fumbling with them.

"There. No, there," Alessa said sharply.

"Sorry," Iris said. She finally finished and helped remove Alessa's breastplate. The lady knight sighed and rolled her shoulders; under her armor she wore a padded gambeson, and under that she wore a long tunic and leggings, blue with white chevrons. Under that she was stocky and muscled. It was kind of nice, watching her stretch, but Iris decided to show some restraint, and walked over to what she decided would be her side of the room.

"Trust me, you do not want to sleep in armor," Alessa said as she unpacked her gear, "I don't know how Bors does it."

Iris looked down at her mail shirt.

"Oh, right."

Irish slid her chainmail over her head, and she had to admit she did feel a lot better not having to carry that heavy metal around. She sighed and flopped to the ground. She felt so tired…

When she looked up, Alessa was kneeling close to her, cleaning and sharpening her sword.

"Lady Iris," the knight said, glancing up. Her soft blue eyes shone in the light. "I'm sorry for my mistake when we first met. It's not that I'm unaware of those who change their sex, I just didn't expect—"

"It's fine," Iris said. The apology was nice, and Alessa had been more than polite about it. She ran a hand over her face and flinched as she felt the stubble growing in there. Fuck.

"Is something the matter?" Alessa asked.

"Yeah, it's just been a while since I shaved."

"Ah. Here, would…this work?"

Alessa drew a small, sharp knife from her belt, and tested the edge to ensure it was razor sharp. She handed it to Iris hilt-first. Iris held it carefully; she'd never shaved with a straight razor, but it wasn't like there was an alternative - unless she wanted to try using a slime as Nair.

"Thank you, Alessa, that's very kind – uh, chivalrous of you."

"Madame Alessa," the knight said, but under her breath. "I think I have a mirror in my baggage, you can use that."

Alessa handed her a small, square mirror. Iris held it in one hand and looked at her reflection in it. She grimaced at what she saw there.

No wonder Alessa mistook me for a man, she thought bitterly. In addition to her stubble, her face was filthy. She splashed some water from her canteen into her upturned helmet and scrubbed her face. Then, she took up the knife and got to work.

It was an arduous process, and Iris cut herself more than once.

"Shit. Fuck."

"Here," Alessa said, handing her a small earthenware jar, "We use this balm for cuts and scratches."

It helped a lot, and when Iris looked at herself in the small, square mirror, she actually felt like herself.

"Thanks," she said, sitting back against the wall again. Alessa had finished seeing to her gear and was kneeling, staring at the wall in what Iris thought was a form of meditation. The two sat there in a surprisingly comfortable silence, until Iris decided to speak up.

"Is it…difficult here? For people like me?"

"Not at all. When we get out, I'm sure we can find you some magician who can help you. That's why I was surprised – it's usually easy and common to get that treatment, if someone doesn't…"

She trailed off, looking at Iris with her big, soft eyes. Iris felt the heat in her chest again.

"In the world I came from it's a lot harder. I was never able to transition, there's all these hoops you have to jump through, and it can be expensive, and it takes a long time..."

"That sounds terrible," Alessa said, "I swear on my honor as a knight that nothing shall impede your…transition."

"Do you really want me to stick around when we get out of here?"

Iris thought she saw a bit of blush creep into Alessa's cheeks.

"You have nowhere else to go. It would be dishonorable to ask you to part ways. U-unless it was your choice, of course."

Iris smiled and laid back on the ground. It was hard, and a little damp, but she was so tired she felt like she could sleep anyway.

"We'll see," she said playfully. After a period of silence, Alessa picked up the lightstone.

"Light," she whispered.

The room was plunged into darkness.

***

Iris awoke from dreams of running down long passages, hounded by wolves. She wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep — time was somewhat meaningless in the dungeon. She did, however, feel rested, although she was still sore. She got to her feet and padded as quietly as she could to the door.

It didn't work out, and she stumbled and bumped into the wall and cursed as she fumbled for the latch, she was sure that in her attempt to avoid waking Alessa she almost certainly woken her up.

The door screeched as she shut it behind her and stepped into the common room. Bors was there, leaning against a wall in his chainmail and helmet, a lightstone at his side.

"Hey," Iris said, "What watch is it?"

"Third," the veteran said.

"I'll take it from here," Iris said.

Bors raised an eyebrow.

"Where's your gear?" he asked.

"Uh. I took it off to sleep and-"

She hadn't wanted to fumble with the chainmail in the dark.

"Word of advice, never let your guard down in a dungeon." He sighed and got to his feet, his gear rustling softly. "But you did good against that slime, so I guess you're not useless. Alright, I'll catch some shuteye. Thanks, m'lady."

Iris sat there in silence. She heard the drip of water, the whisper of air in the passages, distant echoes. Once, she thought she heard the scuffling and chittering of a small animal.

Alone in the dungeon, she had time to take stock. She was definitely here on purpose; the goddess who'd brought her back had dropped Iris in the ruins of her old temple, where she had been discovered by an adventuring party of sorts. Their leader was a particularly cute — albeit overly formal — lady knight. That had to have been intentional. The goddess clearly wanted them to be companions.

Iris felt dysphoric and sleepy and hungry and sore in weird, new ways, but she also felt alive. Sooner or later, she was going to get out of this dungeon and find out what she wanted to be, and maybe Alessa would play a role in—

Eyes. There were a pair of eyes in the dark, glowing yellow as they caught the light. They stared out at her from the opening of a passageway, their owner shrouded in shadow.

Iris felt her heart pounding in her chest. There was an animal out there in the dark, watching her. Hunting her. Something deep inside her was preparing her to fight, even though all she had was her fists and teeth. Deep in her brain, something awoke—

The door next to her opened, and Iris practically jumped out of her shoes. Bors walked into the commons, yawning.

"Slept longer than I thought! You should go back to sleep, m'lady, you need it more than me."

"Wh-what?" Iris asked. She glanced back and saw that the eyes were gone. She felt herself shaking as she got to her feet.

"You alright, m'lady?" Bors asked. He looked skeptically at the spot where the eyes had been, fingering the hilt of his sword.

"I thought I saw something," Iris said, "An animal, maybe."

"Hm. There's some pretty big rats down here," Bors said, though he sounded unconvinced.

"Maybe."

 

[ScottishMongol]

Spoiler: Author's Note

CW: Graphic violence

This has been the conclusion of the first dungeon, and with it the first chapter!

"This would have been the fane," Alessa said as they walked into the cavernous space. "The center of worship."

It was a vast hall, lined with columns that supported a vaulted roof. The light from their lightstone didn't reach the ceiling. One end of the hall was dominated by a statue of a wolf-headed goddess, naked, muscular, with four outstretched arms.

Yep, that's her, Iris thought.

"You said she was a war goddess?" Alexa asked. "I wonder what kind."

"A heathen one," Bors said, spitting.

Iris was barely listening. She walked up to the altar and put her hand on it. It just felt like cold stone.

"I think she was a protector goddess," Iris said, "Wolves are loyal to their pack, you know?"

She turned around; Bors looked skeptical, and Alessa's face was unreadable as ever behind her visor.

"I mean, I'm just guessing," Iris added lamely.

"So, why are we here again?" the squire Robert asked. Alessa tapped her fingers on the hilt of her sword.

"The diviner said there would be a weapon here that would change the fortunes of our house…I figured if there were weapons of power anywhere in the temple of a war goddess, it would be the fane."

"Our Lady of Light!" the squire Alexa swore. The others turned to look at her, staring in horror at an open passageway leading off the fane.

"Light preserve us," Bors spat, drawing his sword. Alessa followed his lead, raising her shield and placing herself between Iris and the monster.

It wasn't a wolf, not quite. Its fur was dull and matted and it was terribly emaciated, and that gave it a gaunt, unhealthy appearance, but more than that its proportions seemed…off. Iris felt a sudden revulsion as she pictured it as a person that moved like a wolf. And there was something in the eyes…

It quickly turned and fled, vanishing from the reach of their lightstone. Everyone drew their weapons and gathered in a tight circle, facing outwards.

"That's the thing I saw," Iris said, fighting the panic in her voice.

"What?" Alessa asked, snapping her head around to look at her.

"I didn't know it was a monster!" Iris said defensively.

"Aye, Madame, the fault is mine as well," Bors said grimly, "I didn't know it'd be something…unnatural."

"It seemed wrong," Alexa said, her voice sounding small. Whose idea was it to bring children here? Iris felt her hand settle on the knife at her belt, the one Alessa had given her to shave with. It wouldn't do much good as a weapon, but it did ground Iris and give her some comfort. She scanned the fane...

"There!" she said, pointing at a pair of closed doors, "That's what we're looking for!"

"How do you know that?" Alessa asked, but Iris ignored her and rushed across the hall. The doors were wood, their locks smeared over with clay that had been stamped with a seal. The seal was cracked and crumbly. Bors looked at them skeptically as he and the others joined Iris.

"I've seen these before. They're usually curses…we should have brought a priest."

"What kind of curse?" Alessa asked. Something shuffled in the darkness, claws on stone, a rasp of breath.

"I can't tell. Frankly, they're so old the magic may have gone out of them..."

"Do you want to risk it?"

"It won't hurt me," Iris said. She'd never been more certain of anything in her life. "This is why I'm here."

She grabbed the handles and wrenched them. The door was old; clay, rusted metal, and rotted wood all gave way under her hands, although she was still shocked at her strength. The doors swung open, and the light landed on shining metal.

It was an armory. Once there must have been racks of weapons, but during the temple's long decline most of them had vanished, carried off by worshipers or looted. There were still some weapons left, though.

"Oh, nice," Bors said as he picked up a war ax, testing the heft. Despite long years in a dank dungeon, the blade shone brightly and the edge was sharp.

Iris, though, only had eyes for the sword. It was lying on a stand, a sheath on the stone shelf next to it. The sheath was intricately-worked leather, with designs that Iris couldn't make out in this light. The hilt was worked in the same dark red leather, with a red stone set in the pommel. The bare blade glimmered, with a bright red fuller. It was a one-handed arming sword, and it fit Iris' hand perfectly. Next to it was a suit of armor – missing a helmet, but the rest of it was articulated plate, the metal enameled in reddish-brown with bright red and gold highlights.

"This armor was fitted for me," Iris said, "I know it was."

She turned around; Alessa was staring at her. She'd raised her visor and had a look of confusion on her face.

"Lady Iris, what aren't you telling me?" she asked. Iris bit her lip and hefted the sword in her hands. It already felt like a part of her.

"I…"

Alexa screamed. Bors was first out of the armory, followed by Alessa and Iris side-by-side. The monster was back, dragging Alexa away by her ankle. Its teeth scraped against her armor, and she screamed and thrashed, trying to kick the monster's head with her other foot.

"Squire Robert, find a spear!" Bors yelled as he jumped forward. He swung his ax, and the monster snarled and reared back. Iris had dropped the lightstone, and the light fully fell on the monster now. She could see all its ribs beneath its matted fur; its jaws were full of curved teeth. It was indeed emaciated, but taller than Bors. And its eyes…they were bloodshot, feverish, but worst of all, it had a human's eyes. Human, but without intellect behind them. This was a feral animal, starving and desperate.

Bors swung his ax, parting the skin, but it was a shallow cut. The monster had reach on its side — it was taller, with long arms, and at the end of them were terrible hands with long, slender fingers and thumbs. It lunged forward, leaping on top of him. He screamed as its fangs tried to sink into his arm, but his vambrace saved his flesh. The hands scrabbled at his head, grabbed his helmet, and wrenched it off, snapping the strap under his chin. The monster threw the helmet away and dove for Bors' throat.

It happened so fast, but Alessa was faster still. Her metal boot lashed out and struck the monster in the side. Iris could have sworn she heard cracking ribs. The monster whimpered and looked at her with hate, and reared up again. It pounced on her, grabbing at the wrist of her sword arm and the rim of her shield, trying to tear them away. It wasn't a contest; Alessa was garbed in full plate, and the monster was weak, driven by desperation more than anything.

Still, Iris saw red. Her pulse was pounding in her ears, and her grip tightened on her sword. She stabbed at the monster's unprotected back with far more strength than she knew she was capable of, a full foot of metal protruding from its chest. She wrenched the sword to the side in a burst of freakish strength that snapped ribs and tore muscle and tendon. She freed her sword in a spray of blood and gore.

The monster dropped to the ground, trying to crawl away on all fours with half its ribcage torn open. It looked up at her desperately, its eyes almost pleading. It coughed up a gout of blood before its limbs finally gave out under it, and it twitched and lay still. Its eyes stared up, uncomprehending and lifeless.

Iris felt a sudden rush of pity for the monster. She imagined what it must have been like, living alone in the dark, barely surviving on rats and other vermin. That wasn't living at all. It wasn't supposed to be like this, it wasn't supposed to die scared, miserable and alone.

Iris felt tears on her cheeks. She scrubbed at her face with the sleeve of her hoodie and looked at Alessa. The visor of her helmet was still pushed back, and her eyes were wide with some undefinable emotion. She wasn't afraid of Iris, just…surprised, and not just at her sudden burst of violent strength.

Iris looked down at her sword. It was dripping blood, and the sleeve of her hoodie was soaked with more of it, already dark and sticky as it dried. The air was filled with the stench of death.

Bors got to his feet, and Robert came running up behind them, carrying a spear from the armory.

"Well, that's over," Alessa said, blinking away the sweat that ran down her forehead. "Let's take what we can from the armory."

"Let's get out of this place," Iris said, giving one last glance at the dead monster. "It's miserable here."

 

[ScottishMongol]

Spoiler: Author's Note

CW: Body dysphoria, self-loathing, discussion of domestic abuse

The goblins Alessa had mentioned didn't bother them as they returned to the surface, although Bors stopped once to disable a tripwire on one of the staircases, cursing the artifice of goblins.

Iris had been right about the armor. It fit her like a glove, and it gave her an uncanny feeling knowing that it had been forged for her over a century ago, carefully interred in the temple armory waiting for the arrival of the goddess' avatar. It was surprisingly lightweight, and barely encumbered her movements; it had articulated joints and its weight was distributed evenly over her body, better than the chainmail, and it was obviously of a very high quality.

Alessa had helped her put it on, swiftly and competently fastening the straps. There must have been some magic in the gear to prevent it from deteriorating while sitting in the damp dungeon for over a century.

Iris' hand kept brushing over the hilt of the sword at her belt, but she was troubled by the fact that she still had no idea how to use it. Her burst of freak strength that she'd used to kill the monster had been a one-off incident, it seemed.

For the first time since her death and resurrection – reincarnation, she mentally corrected herself – Iris stepped out onto the surface. The cool air felt amazing on her face, and she almost wanted to cry at how pretty the sky was. A bright yellow sun peeked out from behind picturesque white clouds. Rolling grassy plains stretched out into the distance, the grass growing waist-high in waves of green, yellow, and dun. Iris saw wildflowers, blue and red and yellow, and heard the call of songbirds. She saw a hawk circling high above. She could smell fresh grass and newly-turned earth. If this was the world she was going to live in from now on, then she was glad it was beautiful.

The rest of Alessa's party were waiting on the surface as well.

"Woah. That's a lot of horses," Iris said. She counted at least fourteen, and as Alessa and her companions emerged from the dungeon mouth they were approached by two other men who Alessa identified as a groom and a local guide. The groom wore a tunic of blue with white chevrons, the colors of Alessa's house, while the guide wore rough spun clothing dyed in yellow and green.

Alessa removed her helmet and scratched the back of her neck, sighing. She cast a disappointed look at Iris.

"You really don't know much, do you? A knight needs a destrier, a war horse, to ride into battle, but she travels on a courser. And, of course, she needs at least one remount, as does everyone else in the party. And pack animals on top of that. There are seven of us…eight now. Can you even ride a horse?"

"It never came up," Iris said, grimacing. Bors clapped her on the shoulder; she barely felt it through her armor.

"That's alright, the squires can teach you," he said, grinning.

***

Learning to ride meant being sore all the time, and getting blisters in weird places. She didn't make a total idiot of herself in front of Alessa; she never fell off her horse, and she certainly didn't let the horse think it was in charge.

The squires helped her learn, as did the groom. His name was Charles; he was a sort of household retainer for Alessa's family, the same as Bors, and had red hair and a mustache. He was older than Alessa but younger than Bors, and he knew so much about horses, right down to the different moods of the party's mounts. He was also very unsubtle about the fact that he was banging their guide. His name was Zeke, and he had a thick accent that Iris could barely understand. He wore his hair in a ponytail and had wavy black tattoos under his eyes. He'd grown up in this part of the country and knew it like the back of his hand, and he had a bow that he used with unerring accuracy to take down game birds and rabbits for dinner. It made a welcome reprieve from hardtack and biscuits.

Hardtack was more like a stale cracker than bread; Bors gave her a spare mess kit and showed her how, like the salt beef, the hardtack had to be soaked in water before it could be eaten. It produced a thick, salty stew that, while bland, was filling and inoffensive. Iris was still thankful for every bite. Bors also showed her how a few drops from the flask he carried could purify drinking water, and Zeke picked some wild herb that tasted like parsley and told her to chew on it for its medicinal properties.

The squires didn't seem any worse for wear after coming out of the dungeon; as far as they were concerned, they'd had a grand adventure and had met a mysterious fated hero who, they were sure, was going to save the world from the next Demon King. They did camp chores, helped Charles with the horses, and tended the gear. Iris learned that they weren't siblings, but they certainly acted like it.

Iris liked her companions, and spent most of her spare time chatting with them. She clumsily changed the topic whenever anyone tried to ask her about her past, so they quickly learned to avoid the subject. Other than that she enjoyed their company, which was good, and at least they were polite. She needed them to like her, if she was going to survive here.

She mostly just had eyes for Alessa, though. Once out of the dungeon, Alessa kept her helmet off all the time, slung at her saddlebow. In the sunlight, her blue eyes and white-blonde hair looked prettier than ever, and now Iris could see the glances Alessa kept sending her way.

It was with some surprise that Iris realized that the look Alessa kept giving her was one of caution. Something about Iris unnerved her, like she wasn't sure what to make of her new companion. Iris had to admit it made sense; she had come back from the dead, dropped out of another world into Alessa's life, and even now displayed strange knowledge and abilities that even Iris herself didn't fully understand

So, she tried to talk to Alessa. She asked about her home, an estate in the country south of the city of Lantilla. That's where they were heading now that their quest was complete, although it was a fair journey. Alessa spoke of grassy uplands, sheepfolds and white limestone cliffs, a network of deep caves underfoot.

"They tried to clear them out in the Goblin Wars two hundred years ago," she had said, "Though it was a nightmare of a campaign through the tunnels and the dark, and they say the Kingdom never really recovered. We made treaties with the goblins and built castles aboveground. My people, my family, are supposed to keep the peace, catch sheep raiders."

Alessa had explored some of the shallower, better-mapped cave systems when she was younger. It had given her valuable experience in dungeon delving. Her parents had been the same — her mother had lost three fingers in a counter-raid against goblin sheep stealers, and her father was a quarter goblin on his mother's side.

"Wait, what?" Iris asked, snapping back to attention – she had been trying to mentally file the new information away, building a mental picture of the world she lived in now.

"Oh yes! That was part of the treaty. That and setting aside grazing land for the goblins. My people end up mediating lots of arguments about whose sheep belong to who and which ones crossed the border line first..."

As she spoke, Iris found herself distracted. Alessa would enunciate words with a flourish of her hands, her soft blue eyes glinting as she described some desperate fight in the dark.

Once Iris looked at some wildflowers — a splash of bright red against the sweeping expanse of grassland — and wondered briefly if Alessa would like them, before she turned her horse's head and rode on.

At the end of the first day, they made camp by a river. There were stands of trees and thick bulrushes along the banks, and the party was eager to stop and bathe, to wash off the grime of the dungeon. While the others watered the horses and started stripping off their gear, Iris slipped off and found an isolated spot just upstream, hidden from view away from the others. She found that Alessa had gotten there first.

"Ah! Lady Iris, join me for a swim?" Alessa asked as she stripped off her tunic, leaving her in leggings and a length of cloth to bind her breasts. She'd let her white-blonde hair down, and it cascaded in waves down her muscular back. Iris noted that Alessa had a nice set of abs.

"Um."

Iris hadn't yet gotten used to the fact that this society just didn't care as much about modesty as her own. Alessa sensed her discomfort.

"Is something wrong? If I have given offense-"

"No, it's not you, it's…"

Iris really wanted to wash off. It had been a long time since she'd been clean, and she wanted to get out of her old clothes, but the thought of anyone, especially Alessa, seeing her body made her want to rip her own skin off.

She shuddered, and Alessa was at her side in a moment.

"Please, my lady, sit."

"I'm sorry," Iris said weakly, "It's not you, I'm just…I'm not comfortable with my body."

She was sitting on the riverbank with her knees drawn up to her chest, and Alessa's hands were on her shoulders. That calmed her down. When was the last time she had been touched?

"I don't know what you're going through," Alessa said soothingly, "But on my honor I will respect your modesty as a lady."

Iris snorted.

"Thanks. Sorry about my hair by the way, I meant to brush it."

"Hmm. Maybe I could…brush it for you? Th-that is-"

Iris couldn't see Alessa's face – she was looking at the pleasant vista of a sluggish green-brown river flowing between lush greenery – but she guessed that behind her Alessa was blushing.

"I'd like that," Iris said, almost whispering.

She heard Alessa rummage around behind her, then she felt fingers running through her hair, then-

"Ow. Ow."

"It's not my fault! It's so tangled! Now, don't squirm."

"Sorry!" Iris said. I'm so gross, she shouldn't be so nice to me.

"Hmm. You had a hard life before coming here, didn't you Iris?"

"…yeah, I kind of did."

"What did you do?"

"I worked a lot and barely made rent."

"Rent? So, you were a peasant?"

"Basically, yeah. A serf. For the Dark Lord Bezos."

"And what of your family?"

Iris grimaced. Even before they'd kicked her out, her family had been…difficult to deal with. Her childhood had involved a lot of screaming, a lot of hiding and trying to avoid invoking her parents' wrath. She was distracted from her thoughts by Alessa pulling at a tangle.

"Ow. My father was…a cruel and angry man."

"You must be glad to be free of him. What of your mother?"

Iris was silent for a long time. Her parents fought each other, and her mother took it out on her, constantly demeaning and criticizing her, if only I hadn't been such a fuckup—

Iris tried to remind herself that it wasn't her fault, there was nothing she could have done to make her parents love her because it was never about her. Them finally kicking her out had been freeing, even if it had meant more to struggle for.

"It's a sad thing, realizing your mother never loved you," Iris said after a while. Alessa didn't have a response to that.

"I hope you enjoy meeting my family," she said finally, "I think they'll be kind to you."

"If they're anything like you—" Iris began to say, then shut her mouth. She felt Alessa's fingers running through her hair.

"Hm," Alessa said, "I think I'm done. You really have lovely hair, my lady."

"Th-thank you."

Alessa squeezed her shoulders again.

"You're going to be okay," she whispered. Iris turned around. Her eyes met Alessa's, and they held each other's gaze for a long moment during which Iris wanted to lean in closer...

However, she waited too long, and Alessa cast her eyes downwards first. The lady knight stood up, grabbing her clothes.

"I'll give you some privacy, Lady Iris."

Iris watched her leave, feeling a tangle of emotions. When it became clear that Alessa had left, she stripped out of her clothes, trying not to look at her own body as she slid into the river.

 

[ScottishMongol]

Spoiler: Author's Note

If you want your fantasy setting to have vast stretches of uninhabited wilderness that would otherwise be prosperous farmland, dotted with ruins of older civilizations, you might as well do some groundwork.

After that, Alessa had decided that Iris needed to learn how to use her sword, and that meant training. At first, Iris had half-hoped that Alessa would teach her personally, but Alessa just laughed.

"When you can beat the squires, you can spar with me."

The squires kicked her ass every time. Getting hit even with practice swords hurt.

So, traveling involved eating a lot of bland food, and being sore all over, and getting sweaty and dirty — Iris was going to burn these clothes once they reached civilization and she could get some new ones. Between training and riding, Iris was exhausted at the end of most days, but somehow, she felt better than she ever had. And she was getting better at shaving.

At the end of every day, the party gathered around the campfire to pray to the Lady of Light. Iris joined them out of respect, but she didn't fully understand the meaning of the prayers. Zeke seemed to follow the same religion as the others, but he spoke openly of the "land spirits" that dwelled in these parts, and they didn't seem to think he was wrong to do so.

At night, Iris slept under the open stars. They were strange, different from Earth's night sky, and there were more of them than she'd ever imagined there could be.

At least the weather was nice; it was early spring, and for two days and nights they crossed the prairies. The rolling grasslands were roamed by feral horses and a breed of shaggy feral cattle that looked half bison. And wolves. Iris sometimes heard them howling to each other at night. They didn't sound scary, but they didn't sound sad either; they were just talking to each other.

On the third day they left the prairies and entered a landscape of terrible thickets. Brambles grew taller than the head of a rider on horseback, weaving their branches together into impenetrable walls. Thorns snagged on everything – clothes, hair, skin, the horses. Nobody wanted to talk anymore – it was claustrophobic, and there could have been anything hiding in the undergrowth, watching. Even Zeke struggled to find paths, game trails through the brambles that they could lead the horses along.

"This ain't natural," Zeke muttered one day as he hacked a path through the brambles, "Allathis used to be farmland, afore the Great Plague."

"How long ago was that?" Iris asked. She'd been trying to figure out the background of this world without asking too many questions. The others knew she was from another world, but she refused to talk about it, and acting like a clueless foreigner just drew attention to her in a way she didn't want.

"Bors?" Alessa asked. Bors was silent for a while.

"About forty, fifty years ago, that was when it happened. They say three in four people died. I was born after the worst of it, but when I was eight one of the last outbreaks took my little sister. Entire villages died and were left to rot with no one to bury the dead. Those who survived moved closer to the remaining cities. Since then, everything's gone wild." He nodded at the thicket forest. "Farmland overgrown. Goblins have been moving into the empty lands in greater numbers. Monsters are coming back.

Most of the temples of the old heathen gods were overwhelmed trying to care for the sick, their priests dying of the plague. The Church of Our Lady of Light saved more than most, and most of those that survived converted. Some folks went mad, cause it seemed like the end of the world. You still get isolated little places out in the backways that survived, and you see, uh, some weird customs."

Iris didn't know what to say. These people lived in this world, grew up with its troubles; Iris was a stranger to its history, a foreigner.

***

After a day and a night of hacking through dense thickets, the party emerged into more cultivated land. The undergrowth had been cleared and the trees had been coppiced – cut at the trunk so that they would grow back as a bunch of long, thin poles. They rode down a well-marked path with lanes of trees on either side; it was obvious this forest was managed, not wild.

"Family come up in these parts for oh, since afore the Great Plague," Zeke explained.

"Probably were pretty isolated even before then," the young squire Alexa said under her breath, turning her head to hide a smile. Iris could imagine how generations in an isolated settlement like this could encourage some…quirks.

Zeke's home village was a cluster of log cabins that couldn't have been home to more than two hundred people. The village was surrounded by a halo of fields of grain and vegetable plots. Iris saw goats and pigs, penned up or allowed to roam free along with the packs of children and village dogs. Villagers tended their crops and animals, worked leather and wood, butchered deer, or else relaxed outside their homes. About half the villagers had black wavy lines tattooed on their cheeks; the other half had red chevrons. Iris guessed it was some kind of clan identifier.

Some of the villagers stopped to wave a greeting to Zeke as he passed, but most of them ignored the party. Certainly there was little deference given to Alessa as a knight.

"Y'all can stay in the barn," Zeke said, "Straw's soft, n'food fer horses."

"This is where Zeke leaves us," Alessa said as they bedded down in the barn, "The rest of our journey is along more charted paths."

As Iris laid back on the straw, she realized how much she had missed sleeping on something soft. No sooner had she closed her eyes than she was drifting off to sleep.

***

Iris was back in the void.

"Oh, shit, am I dead again?"

"No, just dreaming," the goddess laughed. Iris turned around and saw her as she had been, lounging on her couch.

"Aren't you supposed to be inside my head?" Iris asked.

"Who's to say I'm not?" the goddess teased.

"It's just that you've been awfully quiet."

"I told you, I'm just along for the ride. Well, I did have to take a hand a couple times to keep you alive. Other than that, you're doing quite well. That lady knight, huh? What a cutie."

She waved her hand, and an image of Alessa's face appeared before her. Iris felt a knot of emotion in her chest.

"Right, I guess that was your plan," she muttered, "That was your temple, wasn't it?"

The goddess waved her hand again, and the image of Alessa disappeared.

"It was, once. All my worshipers died long ago, and with them my power in this world."

"What about that…thing we fought?"

If a wolf could look regretful, this one did.

"That's a sad story, and not one that is yours to hear."

Iris shuffled uncomfortably.

"I felt bad for it…and I killed it."

"You were defending yourself. And in some ways, it was…a mercy."

"I guess there's just a lot I don't understand about you."

"It's hard to explain these things to a mortal." The goddess stared off into the distance. "It was beautiful, Iris. I was so powerful, I was loved by thousands and I held all their hopes and fears, their love and suffering in my hands…and now barely anyone knows I existed."

Iris realized that the goddess wasn't so different from her. She was alone, and she had died as well, in a way. Maybe taking on Iris as her avatar was her own way of living a second life.

"Well, you gave me a second chance, and you've been keeping me alive this far," Iris said, "I'm grateful for that. I hope…I hope the two of us can find what we're looking for."

The goddess looked back at Iris, and her wolfish grin returned.

"My, Iris, you are a sweet girl."

Iris felt her face flush with heat, and that deer in the headlights feeling returned.

"H-hey, I never found out your name," she finally forced herself to say.

The goddess' eyes glowed yellow, like a wolf's eyeshine.

"Now that my worshipers are dead, I have no name in any mortal tongue. My true name is spoken in the laughter of swords and the song of hot blood, in the cry of the wolf for her pack."

"That's a mouthful," Iris said, and then she woke up.

 

[ScottishMongol]

Spoiler: Author's Note

Having a lot of fun getting into the meat of the worldbuilding here.

Iris opened her eyes to see sunlight slanting through the windows of the barn, dust motes and bits of hay floating in it. She stared at the rafters while listening to the sounds of the party waking up around her. She heard horses and the clink of gear being loaded.

"Ah, Lady Iris, you're awake," Alessa said. Iris sat up; the lady knight was already in her armor. "We're preparing to depart. Quickly now, before the sun is up." Iris nodded and reached into her pack for her mirror and knife. She was getting pretty good at shaving, and Alessa only had to wait a few moments before helping Iris into her armor.

"So, where are we heading, anyways?" Iris asked as Alessa fastened the buckles. Iris was getting so used to wearing armor that she barely noticed its weight anymore, and saw changing out of it every day as just another chore she could do automatically. She did wonder why Alessa always helped her instead of getting one of the squires to do it, though.

"We're going back to Doncaster, my home," Alessa said, "But it's far to the south of here. We'll need to travel a fair bit, so just enjoy the journey."

"I can do that," Iris said, feeling a smile spread across her face. With such good company, the journey was quite enjoyable.

They joined the rest of the party outside. Zeke was standing outside the door of his cabin, a woman at his shoulder – his wife? Iris glanced between the woodsman and Charles, and when neither showed any reaction, she shrugged and resolved to mind her own business.

"Thank you for your service, my good man," Alessa said as she mounted her courser.

Zeke pressed his fist to his forehead in some kind of salute.

"Please t'cross paths with ya, m'ladies," Zeke said. The woodsman had been a competent guide, and patient and kind to Iris, and she felt that she should say something as well.

"In the fullness of time, they may cross again," Iris said. She wasn't sure why she said it, but it had the feel of a formulaic response. Zeke nodded in understanding.

Zeke's village – named something like "Hard Luck" in his backwater dialect – was an island, a last outpost of civilization before the wilderness began. The party passed through more forest, but compared to the tangled thicket or even the open prairie, the cultivated woodlands and well-marked roads didn't seem like much. They passed signs of human travel and habitation – lumber camps, lone cabins, a wooden bridge, even a wooden fort flying the banner of the Kingdom, an eagle surrounded by a ring of silver stars.

"The King's personal sigil," Alessa explained.

If all this land had been depopulated during the Great Plague, then this was it being reclaimed.

From there they passed into cultivated lands. It was late spring, and the peasants were in the fields sowing the crops and pulling weeds, and sheep and cattle were grazing on the new grass. The roads were well-maintained, and Alessa's party passed merchants, and peasants, and men with the King's badge on their tabards. The King's men were often ahorse, as were some of the merchants, but just as many rode in carts. From the frontier came lumber and furs for the market towns and crops to feed them, while towards the lumber camps and hunting lodges went finished goods like tools, clothes, and medicine.

The commoners gave deference to Alessa and her party as they passed, but the lady knight did not stay in any village. Instead, they camped on the commons, or in the shelter of roadside hedges, and they even passed by a towerhouse, the home of one of the knights who held this land in fief.

"These are other lords' lands," Alessa said, "And while any of them would give me and my retainers hospitality as a noble lady, I would rather not risk any of them discovering the nature of our errand. Some of them may have designs of their own, or loyalties that would cause them to hinder us."

"And some knights may challenge Madame Alessa to a duel just to have a chance at glory, the swinging dicks," Bors added.

"That as well," Alessa said, trying not to smile.

"…am I your retainer?" Iris asked after thinking that over for a bit.

Alessa turned in the saddle to look at her, furrowing her brows.

"I hope you should be my friend," she said, "But for the time being you are a lady under my protection, until my family can decide how to provide for you."

"Oh. Thank you. I would…also like to be friends?"

The smile Alessa wore made her look so pretty. It was the way her eyes shone, Iris thought.

Then, at long last, they reached their first true town.

Darford was a market town overlooking a river crossing, although the Darken River had been bridged by a wide stone span when the King had extended the road system. The town was surrounded by farms and stands of coppiced trees, and there was a line of villagers taking their produce into town. Darford was ringed by a curtain wall, the two gates manned by King's Men with eagle badges on their breasts. The town looked like it was home to a couple thousand people, which made it the same size as the small town in Iowa that Iris had grown up in.

"Charles, find somewhere to pasture the horses. There isn't a stable in there that could handle all ours. I'll send one of the squires to fetch you when we find lodging."

The groom nodded and held the reins of Alessa's courser while she dismounted. Iris, Bors, and the squires followed suit, and they entered the city on foot. The King's Men at the gate only asked that Alessa identify herself, which she did.

"Madame Alessa Harcourt, of Doncaster."

"You're permitted to keep your weapons," the gate officer said, "but don't draw them within city limits. If we catch you doing so, you'll be called before the judge to answer for it."

Inside, the streets were packed. There were merchants in bright clothes, and tradesmen, and farmers all hawking their wares; bulk lumber, beer and cheese, fresh-picked produce, even baskets of squealing piglets. There were King's Men with badges policing the market square, and a guild-hall of carpenters made all out of intricately worked and cunningly fitted timber, and Iris saw a church with beautiful stained-glass windows. There was less deference to Alessa; nobody stepped aside to let the knight pass with a bowed head or a doffed cap. Instead, most people seemed to be trying to sell her something.

The town was diverse too. Not just in skin tones, although one in every four people had skin that was either black or reddish-brown. She saw people in severe black and gray, and others in bright clothing trimmed with lace, and many in roughspun dyed green and yellow. Black-skinned merchant women with gold rings on their arms, practically wearing their whole wealth on their bodies, haggled with a group of fur trappers wearing tanned leather sewn with brilliant patterns of colored thread.

"This town is…clean," Iris said. There was a smell to it, of many people and animals crammed together along with woodsmoke and cooking fires and other odors Iris could not place, but it didn't have the reek of open sewers that she expected. The streets were paved and regularly swept clean, and there were carts carrying human and animal refuse out of the city gates.

"That would be the Great Plague," Bors said, "Most cities and towns adopted cleanliness laws to try and fight outbreaks. The Church incorporated many of them into its doctrine, and the King has only redoubled enforcement."

"I can't wait to sleep in a proper bed again," Alessa said. "Let's find an inn already."

The Duck and Heron was a sprawling three-story building. The common room alone was huge, running the whole length of the first floor. There were several fireplaces, and the room stretched out into several shadowy corners. It was crowded, and woodsmoke and pipe smoke curled around the rafters. Iris smelled fresh bread and something savory, and recalled that she'd mostly been eating hardtack and salted meat since she'd been reincarnated.

"Right, that's three rooms," Alessa said after a brief conversation with the bartender.

"Can we get some food, too?" Iris asked. Alessa nodded and turned back to the bartender while Iris and the others found a table.

A barmaid served them hot, fresh bread and bowls of a thick, savory stew. It was full of barley, diced vegetables, and chunks of what was probably chicken. It tasted amazing, and Iris might have cried if she wasn't busy tearing off steaming chunks of bread to dip into it. After weeks of bland food that made eating feel like work, the stew was rich, flavorful, and best of all, hot.

"So," Iris said as she cleaned her bowl with a hunk of bread, "What about those rooms?"

"You'll bunk with me," Alessa said as she pushed her chair away from the table.

"Madame Alessa, can Alexa and I explore the town?" Robert asked.

Alexa nodded. "Yeah, can we?"

Alessa hesitated a moment before nodding.

"Very well, but stay out of trouble. If you don't, I won't let you out of my sight until we're back at Doncaster."

"Yes!" Alexa said, pumping her fist and scrambling away.

"We'll be good, Madame Alessa!" Robert called back as he followed after her.

"I'm going to drink and wait for Charles," Bors said.

"Right," Alessa said, "Iris, with me?"

The room Alessa had rented out had two beds, fortunately. The room got natural light through a large window with panes of thick, frosted glass, but there were also candles on the dresser and mounted on the walls. Iris helped Alessa remove her armor; Alessa immediately scratched at the back of her neck, sighing.

"There's this spot on the back of my neck that I can never reach when I'm wearing armor," Alessa explained, "It drives me crazy."

Iris smiled as Alessa stepped closer, starting to unfasten the buckles on her armor. They were close, face-to-face; Iris could smell Alessa's sweat from here and feel her warm breath.

"What's a girl gotta do to get a bath?" Iris asked, her gaze sliding away to avoid making eye contact.

"There's a tub over there," Alessa said with a nod of her head, "I'll ask the staff to bring up some hot water."

Iris turned around and saw a copper tub in the corner, half-hidden behind a curtain.

"Oh."

"Of course, I shall give you some privacy," Alessa added quickly. She removed Iris' breastplate and placed it with the rest of their armor.

"That sounds nice, but right now, I just want a bed."

Iris took two steps towards the bed and collapsed in it. It was soft, and between that and a belly full of warm food, Iris felt like she was in heaven. She squirmed around pleasurably until she was perfectly comfortable and closed her eyes.

After a minute they shot open.

"Should I be worried about fleas?"

She turned her head; Alessa was lying in her own bed. The lady knight rolled onto her side and smiled at Iris.

"I should think not! A place like this would keep clean, and they'll have charms against pests."

"Right, charms," Iris echoed. She still wasn't sure how this world's magic system worked. The thought pulled at something… "Hey, uh, Alessa? Didn't you promise to help me find a wizard or something? To uh, help me with my transition?"

"I did indeed. There should be one in a town of this size, an alchemist or magician. You're free to look for one. I also thought…" Alessa blushed. "I also thought we might go clothes shopping while we were here. Get you some proper clothes."

Iris looked down at her ratty, soiled hoodie, pinching the fabric between thumb and forefinger and holding it away from her body.

"Good idea."

She stared at the ceiling for a moment. It didn't feel real. She knew that, somehow, back on Earth other trans women had transitioned, but she didn't really feel like that would ever happen to her. The idea that she could just walk into a magician's shop and get, what, magical HRT? There was definitely some sort of catch.

Still. If she didn't try, she'd never make any progress, and they wouldn't be in town for long. And Alessa had sworn to fight anyone who got in the way of her transition, which was reassuring.

"You know, I think I want to do that now," Iris said.

"Do you want some company?" Alessa asked. Iris rolled out of bed and stretched.

"No…no, I think I can handle this on my own."

Alessa just nodded and sat up as well.

"In that case, feel free. I'll take a bath while you're gone. And I have to get a message off to my parents, to let them know we're on our way home."

"Will I need money?"

"Check my boot," Alessa said as she let her hair down.

"Your boot…?"

Iris picked up Alessa's boot and turned it over; a bag of coins fell out and landed in the palm of her hand. She hefted it; it felt pretty full.

"Old soldier's trick," Alessa said with a smile, "I learned it from Bors. Those are our emergency funds, so bring them back?"

"Uh. Yes, definitely." Iris realized that she didn't know the value of money in this world very well, and that Alessa was probably trusting her a lot. "Thank you, Alessa."

"You're very much welcome, Iris. Just tell the staff to send up some hot water."

 

[ScottishMongol]

Spoiler: Author's Note

In which Iris experiences the unrealistic fantasy wish fulfillment of getting quick and effective gender-affirming medicine from a compassionate and understanding healthcare provider.

Darford wasn't like any town Iris had set foot in back on Earth. It was compact, and almost everyone walked everywhere save a few people in carts, though those were usually laden with goods. It was bright and noisy, but in a pleasant way, a constant background noise of people going about their lives. The King's Men loitered on street corners and directed traffic. One doffed his cap to her politely, but most of them ignored her.

This close to the frontier, the main industry of the town seemed to be woodworking. Iris saw carpenter's shops, menial laborers sweeping up piles of sawdust, shops selling furniture and wooden ornaments, blacksmiths making carpentry tools, painters and varnishers. Iris saw apprentice carpenters learning their trade, lumberjacks coming back from the camps looking to spend their pay, and merchant's establishments advertising bulk lumber shipped to Lantilla, Cimmaron, and Endisburg. All the buildings had intricate carvings on their eaves and doorways, and Iris felt that they had some sort of significance she didn't understand. It made the houses feel real and cared for in a way her cheap apartment complex wasn't.

For such a small town, the tight, winding streets were easy to get lost on. Iris realized that she'd been wandering in a daze – albeit while keeping a tight grip on the coin purse, tucked in the pocket of her hoodie. When she looked up, she found herself looking at the sign for a magician's shop – at least, that's what she guessed. A brightly-painted sign over a doorway showed a black cat in a witch's hat and a cauldron.

"Just as planned," Iris muttered, and walked inside.

The bell over the doorway rang as Iris stepped into what was definitely a magic shop. The whole thing was lit up with lightstones held in spheres of frosted glass, some of them in bright colors. Cases lined the walls, their cubbyholes and shelves stuffed with jars, bundled herbs, baskets and boxes – Iris saw polished stones and pickled frogs and hundreds of candles in different shapes and sizes. There was a counter dividing the shop into a front and back – behind it, Iris saw a stairwell and several doorways leading deeper into the building. The counter itself was covered in books and ledgers, clusters of lit candles, even more jars and boxes, and a multitude of glass beakers, vials, small cauldrons, and even a miniature furnace with something bubbling on top of it. The entire wall behind the counter was made up of an overflowing bookshelf. There was a stuffed alligator hanging from the ceiling. The whole place had a chemical smell that at once reminded Iris of a doctor's office, but at the same time had a distinctly floral aroma.

Oh, and a catgirl stood behind the counter.

Not a human girl with cat ears, but a cat girl. She had fine black fur over her whole body and pointed ears that stuck out from holes in her pointy black witch's hat. The plunging neckline of her lacy black and brown dress showed not just the swell of her breasts but a white diamond right in the center of her chest. Her eyes were yellow and slitted, her pupils narrowing as she turned to face Iris. She couldn't have been over five feet tall, and the curve of her hips and waist was evident thanks to her corset. She had a long tail that curled out from under her skirts, black and fluffy.

"Hiya! Welcome to Tabbakin's, what can I do for you?"

"Um. Sorry I-"

The catgirl's ears flattened, and Iris saw a tightening around her jaw. She suddenly felt like she'd said something wrong.

"What, you never seen a catfolk before?"

"Uh, no, actually. I'm not…from here."

The tension instantly dissipated, and Chiri made a trilling noise in the back of her throat.

"Oh! Well, my name is Chiri Three Tabbakin!"

"Chiri. Nice. Sorry, is your middle name Three?"

Chiri nodded.

"Yep. That's because I was the third in my litter."

"Interesting. I'm Iris…Iris Penny."

"And what can I do for you, Iris?"

Iris suddenly felt like turning and walking back out the door. What if Chiri refused to sell to her? What if there was some complication or barrier that would stop her from getting treatment? What if she somehow fucked everything up?

What if she spent the rest of her life like this?

"I am…I'm not sure how to say this. I guess I…want a different body. Like, a woman's body. Because the one I was born in…isn't."

She wasn't sure what language to use. From what Alessa had said, trans people were not unknown in this world, so maybe Chiri knew what she was talking about. Maybe Chiri had something that could help.

"Hmm, yep, I can help you with that. C'mere and we'll see what we can do for you, Iris!"

Iris felt like laughing. She walked shakily around the back of the counter, mostly nerves. Chiri cleared off a chair, and Iris sat down in it heavily. The catgirl immediately started moving around, grabbing jars and ingredients, and preparing a mortar and pestle.

"Th-thanks, um, this is…a lot."

The catgirl took her hand and patted it sympathetically. Her fur was soft, and her palms and fingers had pads on them.

"Hm. Well, Iris, there's a standard medicine you can start taking that should start changing your body."

So, it was magic HRT.

"I guess there's no one-shot transformation magic?"

Chiri gave her an expression Iris couldn't place.

"Not anymore, no. The books say that the ancients could shapechange like that – well, that's where the catfolk came from! But so much knowledge was lost during the Great Plague." She glanced at the bookshelf wistfully and sighed. "Even all this is just a fragment of what we used to know."

"Oh," Iris said. She hadn't actually been expecting an explanation, and now that she got one, she was turning over the implications. Chiri glanced back at her and smiled.

"Apologies, I just get so excited about magic! Now, let's go through some of the typical side effects. You may have trouble getting or maintaining an erection, are you okay with that?"

Iris blinked. The way Chiri flitted from one thought to the next was as bewildering as the way she rushed around the magic shop, her tail twitching behind her.

She thought it over for a minute. She'd never really had bottom dysphoria, but then, it seemed like bottom surgery wasn't going to be in her near future either way. And if she was going to keep the damn thing, she didn't want it to be a hassle...

"I'm not sure? I don't…think so. I think I'd prefer everything to uh, work the way it's supposed to down there."

Chiri nodded, glancing imperceptibly down at her crotch before looking back up at her face. She blinked, her pupils dilating.

"I see. You may also find yourself losing muscle mass. Judging by your hands you're a swordswoman, so I'm guessing you don't want that either?"

Iris imagined herself with toned muscles and felt a flush of - something. Euphoria? Is that what it was supposed to feel like?

"Definitely not."

Chiri asked her a few more questions, but everything else sounded fine to Iris. Her head was still spinning as she tried to process the idea of actually getting the body she really wanted.

"Well! Not really my usual order but I think I can handle that. Stand by!"

"How long will it take to start seeing results?"

"A few months? At most a year, though you'll need to keep taking it," Chiri said, holding up two vials of some fluid to inspect them. She swirled one, nodded, then placed the other back down. She started doing something complicated with beakers before disappearing into the back.

Iris kicked her feet and waited for a few minutes. She realized she had a huge smile on her face, and felt like for once in her life everything was going right, she had something to look forward to. She was excited about something.

"Right! That's reducing. Anything else you need?"

Iris thought for a moment.

"…got anything for body hair? Shaving in the woods sucks."

"Wait right there!" Chiri said, vanishing into the shelves. She returned with an earthenware jar. "Rub this on your skin and give it a couple minutes to set in, then wash it off with hot water." She pulled it away from Iris' grasp at the last moment. "Do not let it get on your head or your eyebrows. Your hair will fall out. I am not responsible for any misapplications or misuse of this material."

Iris took the jar gingerly.

"Uh, thank you, Chiri. You're…very professional."

Chiri made a cute trilling noise in the back of her throat again.

"And you're – an adventurer! Tell me about that!"

She sat back against the counter, the tip of her tail flicking back and forth. Her pupils dilated again and her ears flicked forward in excitement. Iris felt herself taking in the catgirl's petite, curvy form.

"Yeah, uh – I'm actually not sure? I'm with this knight and we're heading back to her home. We met at the bottom of a dungeon, it's a long story."

"We've got time," Chiri purred.

Iris sketched out her adventure so far – the dungeon, Alessa, the wolf monster. She even told Chiri that she was originally from another world. It was easy; the catgirl was a professional, and she'd been very courteous and helpful, and Iris had already gotten…personal with her.

"You're an Outworlder! That's not unusual, though they're getting rarer."

"It is? We are?"

"Mhm! Used to be whole groups of people came here from other worlds! I think that's how most worlds are inhabited, which makes you wonder where we all came from originally. But the last time a big Incursion happened was hundreds of years ago. Now it's usually individuals, but you can always bet that they're going to be a big deal! Like…like the King!"

"Right, I'd heard about the King. What's he like?"

Chiri seemed strained.

"He's supposed to be the greatest swordsman in the realm, and he slew the Demon King and married the Princess – that was four or five years ago now. Since then, things have been changing."

Before Chiri could elaborate, her ears perked up, and she excused herself to check on whatever was brewing in the back. Iris turned over the new information, and suddenly felt a shock go through her as the implications sank in.

"What language are we speaking?" she asked Chiri as soon as the catgirl returned.

"I'm…sorry?"

"What language is this? What do you call it?" she asked, feeling like she was losing her grip.

"It's Common…why, what do you call it?"

"English. Everyone's been speaking English this whole time," Iris said, almost in a daze. Chiri took Iris' head in her hands and looked into her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Iris giggled.

"No, no I'm fine, it's just…we speak Common where I'm from, too."

"I see," Chiri said in a tone that suggested she absolutely didn't see. "Anglish. Hm, that does sound familiar…"

"S-so uh," Iris said, trying to change the subject, "Do you own this place?"

"It's a family establishment. I'm just the one watching the store today!"

"Well, lucky me," Iris said. Chiri made a purring noise.

Finally, Chiri disappeared in the back for a few minutes, and when she returned, she handed Iris a glass vial full of little red pills.

"Take one a day. That should last for a couple weeks, so after that come back and I'll refill them!"

Iris immediately popped one in her mouth and let it dissolve on her tongue. It tasted the way freshly-mown grass smelled.

"Um. That might be kind of difficult, since I'm…leaving soon. Like I said, I have a quest. Not sure when I'll be back."

She shrugged apologetically. Chiri made a chirping noise.

"Oh. I understand. Hmm, in that case…I'll write you a prescription, and you can take it to other alchemists!"

If Chiri was disappointed, she hid it well. Iris stood up and shuffled her feet awkwardly as Chiri put her things in a cloth bag.

"I uh. How much is it?"

"For you? One silver."

Iris didn't know if that was a lot, but she decided against asking. Instead, she fished out a single silver coin and dropped it into Chiri's paw.

"Sorry I have to leave," she said, and meant it sincerely, "You seem…interesting. And nice!"

"And you as well, Iris Penny," she purred.

***

When Iris returned to the inn, the sun was going down. Bors was still drinking at the bar, and Charles was next to him, chatting up a tall, rugged man with long dark hair. Iris nodded at them – Bors raised his mug in reply – and she headed up the stairs to her room.

Alessa was sitting in her bed, having changed into a fresh set of clothes. She was combing out her hair, still damp from her bath.

"Iris, you've returned!" she said. "Would you like the room? I was going to head down for dinner."

Iris looked down at her bag and nodded.

"That'd be nice, thanks."

She waited while some maidservants were summoned, carrying cauldrons of steaming hot water. As soon as they were alone, Iris opened the jar Chiri had given her. It was full of a white oily substance, and it smelled awful.

"Ugh, nothing for it," Iris said, and she stripped down, tied her hair up, and slathered the stuff all over her body. She was careful not to get it on her head, although she did smear some across the lower half of her face. She almost gagged at the smell.

After a couple minutes standing there looking and feeling stupid and gross, she felt a pricking sensation all over her body.

"Holy shit, it's working," she muttered. When the feeling subsided, she stepped into the tub. "Oh. Oh yeah," she sighed as she sank into the hot water. After a couple weeks of living in the woods, she felt disgusting, and finally getting to scrub herself clean with almost scalding hot water felt heavenly. The fact that she was also scrubbing away all her body hair felt even more amazing. Her skin felt silky smooth in a way she'd never experienced before. "Chiri, you beautiful catgirl," she sighed wistfully as she sank into the hot water up to her chin and luxuriated in it.

If the Duck and Heron had been on Yelp, she would have given it five stars.

 

[ScottishMongol]

Iris awoke the next morning feeling relaxed and happy in a way she hadn't since…she couldn't remember. She rolled over in bed and saw Alessa getting dressed. Iris smiled and burrowed under the covers as she watched the muscles on Alessa's back flex, before the lady knight finished pulling her tunic over her head.

"I thought we could go clothes shopping today," Alessa said, "As I promised."

Iris threw back the covers and looked down at herself. Her jeans and hoodie were more worn and stained than ever, even if the body under them felt more comfortable.

"I'd like that," Iris said, kicking the covers away and jumping out of bed.

Soon they were walking the streets of Darford. They passed through a produce market, farmers from the fields outside the town selling fresh-picked vegetables. Iris saw radishes, carrots, strawberries, green onions, broccoli, all sorts of leafy greens, and other crops she couldn't even identify. She also saw...

"Huh, tomatoes," Iris said to herself.

"Hmm?" Alessa asked.

"Uh, it's just, we have those in my world as well."

How could she explain the Columbian Exchange? That tomatoes originally came from her homeworld, in a place called Mexico? Did everything in this world come from Earth? Did it even matter?

"Iris? Are you alright?" Alessa asked. "Do you…want a tomato?"

Iris realized she did. Her mouth was actually watering, and she realized she hadn't had fresh greens in ages. She was craving vegetables. Alessa bought her a big red tomato for a half-copper, and it tasted brighter and more flavorful than any tomato she'd ever had. She almost cried.

Iris had been expecting a clothing store; instead, Alessa took her to a tailor. The shop was cluttered with rolls of cloth tucked into cubbyholes, mannequins with half-finished gowns and suits hanging from them, and a huge table covered in needles, spools of thread, scissors, and scraps of cloth. Iris had to do a double-take as she saw a pair of pedal-powered sewing machines in the back of the shop. Alessa briefly explained what she needed to the tailor, a short, fussy woman with dark skin and high cheekbones. The tailor's apron pockets were full of sewing equipment, and she held a needle tight between her lips.

The tailor took one look at Iris, nodded, and pushed Iris up onto a box where she immediately started taking her measurements, poking and prodding her and barking at her to stay still. The tailor's daughters watched her and whispered to each other and giggled.

"Where did you get these clothes?" the tailor said around the needle held in her lips. Iris stammered out that they had been second-hand, and the tailor snorted. "Of course they are. They're terribly fitted. Mother Macallister will see to you properly, dear. Turn."

Iris turned around as the tailor measured her waist and the inside of her thighs. Alessa was looking at her thoughtfully.

"We should get you something in the Harcourt colors," the knight said, "Since we want you to pass as my retainer. But you'll want your own outfit…what would you say your colors are?"

Iris thought for a moment, her eyes scanning the lengths of fabric for inspiration. She saw lots of greens and yellows, relatively fewer reds and blues, and white, grey, and black in abundance. She thought about her suit of armor.

"Red and yellow," she said confidently.

"I agree," one of the tailor's daughters said, "They fit your energy, very heroic colors."

"Hush, girl," the tailor said, but she seemed to agree as well.

"Come back tomorrow," the tailor said, and without another word she got up on a stepstool and started grabbing handfuls of cloth to hand off to her daughters.

"Now what?" Iris asked, turning to Alessa.

"The cobbler. We need to get you some proper boots."

Iris looked down at her worn old converse sneakers and sighed.

"After that, can we go back to the Duck and Heron? I want to see if they serve salad."

***

"Holy shit," Iris muttered around a mouthful of some leafy green with a sharp, peppery bite to it. "It's been forever since I had a salad, I had no idea they could taste so good."

"Get used to that feeling, you'll miss them again come next winter," Bors said, grinning.

"Oh, Lady of Light, grant me patience," Alessa muttered next to her. Iris looked up and saw the squires Alexa and Robert come slinking through the doors of the Duck and Heron's common room. They were very clearly trying to sneak up the stairs.

"Squires! Attend!" Alessa barked, rising to her feet. Iris kept eating her salad.

The two teenagers reluctantly dragged themselves in front of her. Alexa had a black eye and a defiant set to her jaw – once again, Iris saw the family resemblance between her and Alessa. Robert was trying and failing to repress a smile.

"Did I not tell you to stay out of trouble?" Alessa asked. She turned to Iris and Bors. "They got in trouble. I specifically told them not to get into trouble!"

"It wasn't our fault!" Robert said, "Some of the local kids were picking on this girl, so we had to step in!"

"Right, and then they knocked Robert down! So, I had to fight them!" Alexa added. Iris glanced at Bors, who turned his head to hide a smile. Alessa, though, seemed deadly serious.

"Not only did you disobey me, you caused a disturbance in the town! You could have gotten all of us in trouble."

"But we were defending her honor-"

"You escalated to violence. Did this girl even ask you to step in on her behalf? Because otherwise you only intervened in a childish squabble."

Both teenagers looked down and shuffled their feet. Alexa sniffled.

Alessa grabbed Alexa by the chin and inspected her black eye.

"Tch. Let that be enough of a punishment for you. Maybe it will teach you to pick your battles. But I keep my promises – you're not to set foot outside this inn until it's time to depart."

"Yes, Madame Alessa," Robert said.

"As you say, Madame Alessa," the squire Alexa said. The two started to shuffle off dejectedly towards the stairs, when Alessa cleared her throat.

"Oh, I suppose I have to ask – did you win?"

Alexa turned back and grinned.

"We thrashed them, Madame Alessa!"

Alessa nodded stiffly.

"Well. That's that, then. Run along now, squires."

She sat down at the table again, and for a moment Iris, Bors, and Alessa sat in silence. Iris chewed her salad. Finally, Bors started laughing into his stew.

"Spirited kids, aren't they?" he chuckled.

"Indeed. At least they did not sully the reputation of the Harcourts," Alessa said, keeping a straight face.

Iris felt her composure slip as well.

"Alessa, did you hear yourself? I thought they were going to start crying!" she giggled nervously.

Alessa cracked a smile and snorted.

"Being a knight requires responsibility. It's about being a warrior with a code. It's about having rules."

"They're still young," Bors said with a casual shrug, "And you can't deny they have the spirit."

"No, indeed, I cannot." Alessa said.

***

"How does it feel?" the tailor asked. Iris looked at herself in the full-length mirror.

"It feels great. It looks great," she said. She was wearing a long tunic in light yellow, almost gold, with a red fringe, and particolored leggings, red on the left side and yellow on the right. Tailored clothing just fit her better, sitting easily on her frame. She felt a twinge of discomfort at how masculine she looked – but the outfit was no different from what Alessa was wearing, and her long hair helped her pass a little bit.

"We're going to have to take out the chest at some point," Iris said. Alessa cleared her throat, but when Iris glanced at her, she just smiled innocently.

Once Alessa had paid the tailor, she and Iris left and strolled through the town. It was their third day in Darford, and the sun was going down.

"This is a nice town," Iris said, "I'm glad we stayed here."

She looked again at the intricate carvings on the eaves of every building, and wondered what they were for. The carvings resembled swirling, interlocking lines ending in the carved heads of people of various sorts– old, young, men, women, handsome, grotesque. She could have asked a local for an explanation, but she felt like whatever it was, she wouldn't understand. She preferred the mystery.

"We'll leave tomorrow," Alessa said. She looked around thoughtfully. "You're right, it is a nice town. Clean, prosperous. You know, the King granted them a charter when he extended the roads out here and opened the frontier to woodcutters."

"Oh. No, I didn't know that. I was just thinking that…people here seem to care about this town. And it's so busy. It feels like people make their lives here, instead of just living here, you know?"

Alessa looked at Iris with some undefinable emotion and shook her head.

"I feel that way about Doncaster. You'll like it, I think – half of it is underground, in repurposed caves or in chambers hewn from the living rock. And you can meet my family, and the master-at-arms, and we can have the maids refit your clothes when – when your body changes."

Iris smiled and looked down at her clothes again, sticking out her leg to admire the way the fabric hugged her body. The boots were nice too, sturdy black leather that came halfway up her calves. They were kind of sexy, she had to admit.

"Thank you again, by the way. I never thought that clothes could – well. You've been very kind to me, anyway."

"It is my duty to provide for a lady under my care – even out of my own purse," Alessa said. Iris smiled and leaned in closer, grabbing onto Alessa's arm and holding onto it. Her fingers fluttered on Alessa's firm bicep, and Iris admired the warmth of her body.

"And now I think it's time to escort this lady back to the inn, don't you think?" Iris asked softly.

Alessa smiled, her blue eyes shining in the light of the setting sun.

"Yes. Yes, I think so."