I want to be a hero! (take 2.5)

[Wizzrobe]

That vote was one-sided.
(Of course you are quite handsome...)
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Unpleasant, you said. The Evaluation was down right grueling. And probably qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment.

The assholes -- sorry, 'inspectors' -- made you run five kilometers as fast as you could, followed by making you complete a series of math and science questions within thirty minutes, sent you to an open space to dodge blunted arrows for ten minutes, gave you a set of riddles and 'what-if' questions to finish with a dead-line of one hour, literally defenestrated you through a three-story window once you turned in the answers to said questions (you landed on a pile of cushions, but still they are assholes), gave you a ten minute rest period before finally ending the Evaluation with a (your mind actually boggles at this) a Speed-Dating Event.

As you left the large... Event Center, you spy a trio of Monks (One human, one Dwarf and a half-Orc) handing out food and drinks to the other participants, including a a man with green hair wearing practical iron armor with a round shield and spear. You receive a tray that has a Turkey Leg, several medium sized pieces of broccoli and carrots, a small jug of light ale and, of course, a piece of bread; similar to what the spear man had. The spear man, who seems to be emitting an aura of 'normal', was drinking his ale when the Dwarf said "Please come back tomorrow for part two of the evaluation."

Spear man did a spit-take -- which the human and Half-Orc monks dodged (it went over the Dwarf's head so she did not have to move) -- and shouted "THERE'S MORE?! Have we not done enough!?!?" As much as you disliked his over reaction, you were inclined to think the same thing.

The Half-orc responded "There iz more, mostly per-sow-nah-la-tea tests in the morn and the rezults at dusk." Then the Half-Orc gestured towards the tables and chairs a few meters away, "Pleaze, enjoy your mealz." You shook your head at your dismay at further testing but you were quite glad that the worst of it was already over.

As you sat down at a table you spied a banner that stated "Event sponsored by the Evolutionary Monastery of Darwin: Ensuring a Better Tomorrow by Culling the Unfit." You remember that this particular Monastery (and its associating temple) was started by an Anti-Paladin about ten years back and the organization has earned the ire of many a Paladin, Cleric and Adventurer group for depopulating villages through their 'testings'.

You look up from your meal to see the other occupants at the table,
[minor votes, mostly for flavor]
[ ] Occupants? It is just you at this table.
[ ] It is that same Spear man from earlier. (dependent on what SB chooses)
[ ] You see a Hobbit with a lute and a Half-Orc with little clothes covering his bulging muscles.
[ ] Elf with a bow and a Dwarf with a large axe.
[ ] Write in

 

[Wizzrobe]

@RadioactiveSpoon, @Cornix Argentus, any and all Lurkers... Are you going to vote?

 

[Cornix Argentus]

[X] You see a Hobbit with a lute and a Half-Orc with little clothes covering his bulging muscles.

We could use some music. Also this sounds like something I want to hear about.

 

[RadioactiveSpoon]

[X] You see a Hobbit with a lute and a Half-Orc with little clothes covering his bulging muscles.

Can't turn down a lute.

 

[Wizzrobe]

Interesting...
SV has a Sorcerer, a Bard and a Barbarian while SB has a Fighter, a Ranger and an Alchemist.
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You looked up from your meal to see a Hobbit tuning her lute while a Half-Orc Barbarian is simply stretching. The Half-Orc then says, "Play that song again! May-gar likes it!"

The Hobbit looks up with an annoyed expression on her face and says "I played that song ten times in the past two days! I am at the point where that song is simply annoying. So, No. I will not play that song again."

The Barbarian... May-gar pouts and... a Half-Orc Barbarian should not have the sad puppy-eyed look down that good. He is making you feel guilty and you have not felt shame or guilt in years. You were about to speak up when May-gar abandoned his look for one of surprised insight. "What about that... umm, boot-stompin' song. You know that?"

The hobbit was nonplussed. "Boot stomping song...? You mean 'Weasel Stomping Day?'"

"No," the Barbarian shook his head, "but that good too. The one which talks aboot... complete and... unfair fights."

"The Curb-stomp song?"

"OH Yes, That!"

"I will need another person to help sing it," the Hobbit looked at you. "Care to join in since this little-old-voice-of-mine can not do all of the parts yet?"

[ ] Join in
-[ ] With fervor
--[ ] who cares if your voice is like scratching metal, you like to sing.
[ ] Politely Decline
-[ ] Find someone else to sing it for you
--[ ] your voice is very much not musically inclined
--[ ] people who hear you sing think you are a girl until they see you close up

 

[Cornix Argentus]

[X] Join in
-[X] With fervor
--[X] who cares if your voice is like scratching metal, you like to sing.

Can't sing, won't let that stop us!

 

[Walkin' Man]

[X] Join in
-[X] With fervor
--[X] who cares if your voice is like scratching metal, you like to sing.

 

[RadioactiveSpoon]

[X] Join in
-[X] With fervor
--[X] who cares if your voice is like scratching metal, you like to sing.

 

[Wizzrobe]

To Sing or Not to Sing: That is the Question.

To anyone that is not you, it would be a true question. You do not even bother giving the question a once over, immediately agreeing to help this bard sing her song. The only problem is that you have not heard of this "Curb-Stomp Song" and thus cannot sing the lyrics properly.

You did try out for Bard-school, and the instructors were inclined to let you in... until you opened your mouth to sing, where they dropped you like a Lich's Phylactery that was permanently on Fey-fire*. Back at home, your mother tried for a year to improve your singing voice. Most people who are familiar with would say that your singing voice is like two steel golems trying to pass each other in a very small hallway. Contrary to popular opinion, you did get better; but your progress simply was not enough to land you any roles where singing was involved in the slightest. You were quite disappointed as your mother's lessons were fun and made you enamored of the power of Song.

You asked the Half-ling Bard about the lyrics and she taught you the words you needed to say. It was 'say' and not 'sing', and you were quite sore that you did not get to properly sing. Some of the words made no sense to you (Laser? Particle Cannon?) while others where clearly referencing things that you had no context for (Roamnin? Rushin? Rocket Launcher?), but you understood most of it. Still, you made do.

And then she began to play... Wait. She had a lute, where were the other instruments? You could definitely hear drums and several other music-makers in the song but the lute should not be able to make any of those sounds.

You closed your eyes, counted to ten and then joined in with the half-ling; logic be damned. This is still a song, even if how the music is coming out mystified you right now. You chanted at the appropriate time and did not manage to mangle it. The Half-Orc was singing along with you and made the two of you sound decent instead of bad. As then song ended, you looked over at the bard and gave yourself some time to think...
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*Fey elements are an interesting field of study for mages and scientists alike. They are, in effect, the opposite of what element they should be; Fey-fire burns cold, Fey-ice bites hot, Fey-metal corrodes and Fey-acid entraps. Those in the field of study known as Femto-mancy or Femtology -- depending if the researcher can use magic or not -- say that the field is still largely unexplored and that many advances have yet to be made; especially since most of the research money is invested in finding new ways to kill off the Fey and keep them dead. Fairies, although somewhat related to actual Fey, have a completely different branch of science/magic/law dedicated to them; similar to the differences between Devils and Daemons.
______________
[ ] Ask a question
-[ ] write in
[ ] shrug your shoulders and carry on. Maybe you will learn how this happens after the other tests tomorrow.

 

[Wizzrobe]

I will give you guys until next Wednesday (the 24th) to respond before I do my own thing. It will be an in character info-dump from the bard.

 

[Wizzrobe]

First off, I edited the ending of the last story post. The previous ending was too out of character. Magic in this setting is uncommon (~10% of the population have it) but artifacts are common enough to be present in most villages and towns.
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You asked the bard for her name as there was plenty of sense in establishing a friendly rapport with your table mates, even if you would not see them again. She replied, "I was given the name of Frieda Alehendra Bronze-Garrote of the Mound-Digger clan, but I go by Nasir these days. It gets so tiring to just answer to one name all the time. " You were about to ask her another question when she simply kept on talking, "Two months ago I called myself Helene, two months before that I was Kody, and the year before that I was 'The Bard-in-training who is formally known as Queen'."

Your mouth opened once again when the Barbarian interrupted you this time. "Me is May-gar of the Stone-Smelta Clan. My clan is best known as the greatest stone masons back amongst the tribes! Many buildings here are badly made; my uncle's cousin's niece's friend, Gonzo, could do a much better job at a-sem-bling this..." he turned to Nasir, "What this type of building called?"

"It is a cathedral, May-gar."

"Cah-thee-drahl," May-gar said as if tasting the word. "Gonzo could build cah-thee-drahls better than whoeva did here; and he is blind!" May-gar paused while scratching his nonexistent facial hair, "Maybe he great mason because he is blind."

You spoke up now, hoping that you will not be interrupted this time, "Where did you hear of such a song, Nasir?"

"That... is one of the more common questions I have heard since I graduated from Bard School. The Curb Stomp Song, like many others that have gained popularity and notoriety in the past five years came from an object the wizards call an 'Apple-pod'. The device itself is gray, has various symbols on it but the most prominent one is a black apple with a bite taken out of it. The wizards recorded everything the Apple-pod had once they figured out it had music and lectures on it. Over the years they gave out numerous recordings of the songs this Apple-pod blasted out to Bard Schools all over the continent and allowed certain bards to imbue their instrument of choice to play certain songs as if the songs were played from the Apple-pod-"

The Barbarian shouted out, "And do not get me started on the steh-ree-oh types here in humie lands!" He shifted his vision to you, then Nasir, then back to you and then looked sheepish. "sorry. " Louder he addressed you, "Oh, You were going to say something?"

[ ] Yes
-[ ] write in
[ ] You know what, it can wait.