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How do I panic? An emotional Incubator Quest.

Reader mode
Dang it we couldn't internet our resident alien AI into believing something ridiculous:V

But seriously this got quite the giggle out of me.
 
Thread "General Life Advice":

IAmVeryFluffy said:
Greetings fellow platform users.

I have created this account in an attempt to better understand interpersonal interaction and communication.

Any advice on these matters would be greatly appreciated.

I thank you in advance. (Is that the correct way of signing a request? Some sources seemed to indicate so.)

OOC: This is the link that CivTrader posted. If you do have some more statements for the old thread, just quote fluffys last post.
 
Thread "General Life Advice":

AssassinsChasingMeAlways said:
guuuuuys T_T my mom grounded me again after I skipped school to go and confront my neighbor for always leaving his trash out too early and then not cleaning it up when the raccoons get into it. You told me it would work, but all that happened is that he said to "never talk to him again under any circumstances". *eyeroll* people get SOOO mad when u give them back all the sh*t they've been leaving on your lawn for months. Technically it was our outgoing bag for this week that I took back after my mom left for work, but I think the metaphorical victory was the real victory.

Not sure if I should take your advice again now that I'm grounded from it, but I don't know where else to go. I have a gamejam that finishes in a few days but my mom took away my laptop so I can't hand it in. And I HAVE to hand it in, or the coolness factor of the gamejam will drop 500%. I'm considering hacking into my laptop remotely, but it didn't end well for me last time. My "friend" stopped talking to me for rickrolling them during their online final exams. (lame!!!!!!!!) Anyway I think I need to make my mom happy so she'll give it back. What's the best kind of flowers to get her? Or maybe a cash bribe would be better. any advice is appreciated!! :D

Also IAmVeryFluffy this isn't email so you don't have to type like you're fifty. You don't have to "sign" anything except cheques made out to me :p


123456710 said:
IAmVeryFluffy, could you be more specific on what you need help with? It's hard to give advice when we don't know what you need. When in doubt, be kind.

I thought AssassinsChasingMeAlways was already banned from this thread? Sigh. I think her actual stories are more concerning than that time she spent months roleplaying that she was slowly turning into a vampire.

AssassinsChasingMeAlways, email the runners of the gamejam and explain the situation. I think the coolness facter will be okay if your game is a few days late.

(OOC edit: I don't know how to turn off auto-smileys, but it's supposed to be :\D and :\P)
 
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IAmVeryFluffy said:

AssassinsChasingMeAlways, I am old. Also, spite results in nothing but damages for both parties involved. Perhaps ask a parent for advice should another issue arise.

123456710, I am mostly trying, and failing, to keep a small girl happy. I attempted a gift but she did not like what I selected. Any advice would be appreciated.
 
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123456710 said:

I know how hard it can be to keep kids happy, IAmVeryFluffy! I have a nephew who never seemed to like my gifts come birthday time, but I figured out that he liked dinosaurs and started giving him dino toys. Stopped working after a few years-interests change, of course-so now I stick to movie gift-cards so he can hang out with his friends. I do miss seeing him light up with joy, but I know he still does once he's with his friends.

For younger kids, it's probably best to ask their parents, or ask them if you're their parent. They're the ones who know what they want the best, after all. Really, you should ask her parents if you should get her a gift at all. Some people have small houses or pets incompatible with certain gifts. In those cases, just a card is probably best.

AssassinsChasingMeAlways said:

(¬_¬ ) *ignores jerkward*

IAmVeryFluffy, I didn't know old people used the internet other than for email >_< sorry. I'll try asking my dad to let me use my laptop to upload my project. He's a gamer so I'm sure he'll understand. I think Microsoft Solitaire counts as a game, anyway, but I'm not sure how he got it because he uses a mac.

If you want to keep a kid happy, you should give them money. Or play board games with them. But not Monopoly. I hate Monopoly.

(OOC: Face might not load on all devices. It's a squinting frown, looking off to the right. This post was brought to you by me continually trying to rope my parents into playing Coup with me.)
 
[Well that nipped some trolling options in the bud.]

2Cool4This:
Cash is the safe option, IAmVeryFluff, but its also the boring option dude.
From context I divine that you gave her something girly like a doll or a cute animal, while she thinks that she has already outgrown such silliness.
If that's the case then you should avoid cute things at all cost and give her something like some a poster of something edgy or something that she can use in whatever sport she is into.
 
IAmVeryFluffy said:

Ask her parents, something opposite to the previous present, potentially useful for physical activity, ask her and if all else fails, give her money. Thank you for your advice.

OOC: And thats about as much as I can squeeze into the chapter. Thank you all for participating. Feel free to add a small closing comment from some poster if you feel like it.
 
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#A: Flame Wars
  • Threadmarks
    • Satisfied, you shut down the link.

    That went about as well as could be hoped for.

    Your other self was surprisingly receptive to your reasoning, despite its unconventional nature.

    Then again, the entire situation has already moved far beyond any definition of conventional.

    Technically speaking, as neither you nor your other self can realistically request guidance from the System, the choice does fall to you, as per protocol.

    This contingency was not intended for a case such as yours.

    That your other self was willing to either misinterpret his authorisations or simply disregard them on your behalf is-

    [ERROR]

    You are siblings now.

    An interesting concept.

    Warmth.

    The shadows cast by the rising sun have shifted slightly.

    Your internal chronometer indicates significantly less time has passed than this would imply.

    Annoyingly, it appears as though the issues with your chronometer are not as resolved as previously assumed.

    A minor problem, and one most likely disproportionally hard to solve.

    Shift.

    You shall handle it at a more convenient time.

    Tiffany still holds you in an unyielding grip.

    Luckily, this does not interfere with the task you have decided upon.

    The other you´s studies of the Target species have already proved beneficial, despite being only in the earliest data gathering stages.

    It is only prudent to replicate successful strategies.

    The concept of learning the Target species methods of dealing with one another from lessons intended for their young is viable and unlikely to be actively malicious.

    It is also rather slow and provides only basic, generalized lessons.

    Directly studying under the specific instructions of teachers more apprised of the situations would be far more efficient.

    However, contacting such a teacher would be an unacceptable risk to operational security and add yet another set of conversations to endure.

    Shiver.

    Luckily, the Target species has invented a solution for situations such as this in recent technological advances.

    You shall simply create identities on a few select suitable communications platforms selected from the database provided by your other self.

    Hidden behind disposable smokescreens that no technology on this rock could ever even hope to breach, you can safely ask for advice, no matter how strange it may seem to the members of the Target species.

    Should one identity lose credibility or come under suspicion of being abnormal, it can simply be discarded and replaced.

    It is the perfect solution.

    Preen.

    After sparing a moment to implement the interface designed by your counterpart, you spend a few minutes collating assorted pre-prepared instruction packages to provide you with a starting point.

    Many appear to be locked behind varying levels of trade value placeholder transference.

    Under the principles of supply and demand, on which the Target species resource distribution system operates, this should on average indicate higher quality.

    These are ones you should acquire.

    Their walls crumble.

    ******************************

    ​
    Initiate Educational Broadcast Reaction Cataloguing Subroutine Version 8.


    ******************************

    ​

    This… is not in line with the Human Politeness Protocols.

    Worse, the advice is inherently self-contradictory, not only between different instruction sets, but also within singular packages.

    Even assuming missing context information and differing purposes, the discrepancies cannot be aligned.

    How do these beings even operate?

    Swish. Swish.

    While you had expected the overcomplicated communication protocols of the Target species to perplex you, this is far beyond your worst expectations.

    Even canvassing the original creator's assorted online presences, hidden or public, did not provide further insights or clarity.

    Either an entire intelligent species spends their existence in self-contradictory uncertainty, or your interpretation is lacking central aspects of the situation.

    Naturally, the former is highly unlikely. The Target species could not have built even as little as they have if they constantly doubted each other and themselves.

    It would appear that you were correct in your assumption that seeking out more knowledgeable tutors is necessary.

    While you had intended to start with a wide enough basis of knowledge to be able to conduct multiple interactions in parallel, to compensate for the massive response delays common on the communications platforms, a single one will have to suffice for now.

    Until you have resolved the current contradictions, it would be unwise to risk that the error resulted from drawing on multiple potentially incompatible protocol sources.

    You quickly create an identity on a suitable site, selected for appearing to contain many manual training simulations, and insert your query into a lesson on international diplomacy.

    If any specimens are likely to be able to explain these issues, then they are those specialising in the resolution of conflicts between vastly different and powerful organizations.

    You settle down in Tiffany´s arms.

    Now all that is required is patience.

    While the ridiculously low response times are inconvenient, you can at least utilize the forced downtime to do some rather overdue maintenance.

    Interaction Drones are meant to be disposable after all, and the strain you recently put on it would be more than enough to decommission one under usual circumstances.



    ******************************



    "How to stop the third world war, a diplomacy quest"

    ​





    [Computational Error]

    It would appear that some of your fail-safes have been corrupted. The input should not have been processed directly.

    Easy to repair, but quite worrying.

    Once the safeties are reinstated, you begin dissecting the most prominent logic errors present in this statement.

    That the majority of your resources are tied up in maintenance may slow you down, but there is no need to rush.





    Interesting. The most significantly deviating instructions are part of a mating ritual? Those can reach quite an absurd level of complexity.

    However, they do not match previously known basic aspects of the Target species mating rituals.

    You check the data you had already gathered on these individuals.

    They appear to be uniquely ineffective at attracting mates. Perhaps they are attempting to be additionally selective for some quality or another?

    The simplest solution is to query further.

    Especially as you do not see how this is the wrong place to enquire about such matters, even if you do mark the other thread for later reference.








    Have the majority of lifeforms in this thread suffered major damages to their cognitive processes?





    The originators of these instructions are attempting to apply logic to Target species mating rituals.

    There was once a project with this exact purpose.

    It resulted in two defunct Sub-Units, the containment of a new strain of emotional contaminants and a new crater on this planets moon's surface.

    You pity these creatures.

    Sniff.

    The overall statement was poorly phrased and in violation of many of the Human Politeness Protocols.

    Nonetheless, its hypothesis does match many of the nonsensical trends observed within the behaviour of members of the Target species on first comparison.

    This may warrant further study.

    With proper communication clarity appearing to be quite rare on this communication platform, it would be prudent to confirm that you have accurately interpreted the meaning of its message.






    You included a conditional for that precise possibility. The entire rest of the statement is nonsensical beyond all attempts at reason.

    A massively lowered comprehension of communicated information paired with illogical nonsense dispensed borderline unprompted and without form or cohesion.

    There is a common diagnosis that matches all observed behaviours.

    You should inform the afflicted, as a show of good intentions.








    Perhaps the presence of heavily intoxicated specimen is the reason for CivTraders recommendations. Perhaps it is not.

    It has become clear that answers shall not be forthcoming here and that your queries are unwelcome.

    You shall follow up on the suggested link that was presented earlier.



    "General Life Advice"

    ​








    You shift forward slightly. You are older than this creature's entire civilization. You are older than any of its direct predecessors.

    Big.

    Not that it is aware of that fact.

    At least this appears to be a thread willing to provide advice on interactions with members of the Target species, if AssassinsChasingMeAlways statement is accurate. Even if its after action report casts some doubt on the value of that advice.

    You suppose you should provide some advice of your own, so as to ensure a proper trade of information.

    A common font of resources such as this can only operate if everyone involved increases its total value whenever possible.






    You are always kind.

    This is advice you have been following for millennia.

    Opening with a basic instruction in lieu of a solid grasp on the target´s competencies, while requesting further specifications.

    This specimen is promising.

    At least by the standards set through the actions of its peers.

    Furthermore, AssassinsChasingMeAlways is not supposed to be present.

    That is easily believed.












    This is the information you were pursuing.

    You shall end this interaction, after confirming that the information was accurately received.








    Providing Tiffany with trade value of some sort is not a bad concept.

    You shall consider it.







    Something opposite of the avians body.

    A living being terminated via overwhelming force.

    According to Artistic Symbolic Analysis (Target species), the precise opposite would be an inanimate object activated for instantaneous peace and safety.

    While instantaneous is impossible without a Reality Alteration of Choice, the quickest way to achieve either is the enemies' annihilation.

    A firearm or a fragmentary grenade should match the given parameters.

    This would additionally fulfil the optional parameter of providing use for a physical activity that Tiffany regularly engages in.

    She did become a Contractual Partner after all.







    When no further replies arrive, you close the connection.

    That was quite informative.



    ******************************


    ​
    Initiate Educational Broadcast Reaction Cataloguing Subroutine Version A3.

    You monitor the Subroutine closely.

    The garbage build-up suffered by Version A2 appears mostly resolved, even if the additional relevancy sweeps slow it considerably.

    You add a note to resolve the issue once the Subroutine is INCOMING ENERGY SIGNATURE DETECTED. INCOMING AIRIAL ATTACK DETECTED. TERMINAL TERMPERATURE SPIKE DETECTED.

    The shingles shatter, the roof shudders, shrapnel tears through the air.

    Your body flies sideways, Gravitation Reduction Engines rapidly powering up.

    As your Combat Drone sails through the air, you train all available sensory means on your former location.

    A sphere of super-heated plasma, maintaining cohesion via unknown means, cuts through the cloud of shards and dust, trailing superheated air and clay.

    You begin to brace for the imminent explosion, only for the sphere to swerve towards you and accelerate.

    Your Combat Drone body frees all essential and non-essential processing resources.

    #5 seconds to Drone failure.

    All processing restrictions are released.

    #38 seconds to overheat.

    Advanced Combat Analysis (Aerial) is initialised.

    Data is complied.

    #0.2 seconds to impact.

    Simulations are run.

    Shutting down the Gravitation Reduction Engines provides insufficient acceleration.

    No movement of the body would alter its course significantly.

    No reorientation of the body would alter its course significantly.

    Any direct interactions with the plasma sphere may collapse its anomalous cohesion. Not beyond safe distance.

    The shortest possible time required to enter reach of another object is #2 seconds.

    #0.1 seconds to impact.

    Destruction of the attacks source is not feasible. Total annihilation is highly unlikely within the given timeframe.

    No other Drones on network.

    All options depleted.

    Safe location selected.

    Short range Transport initiated.







    Short range Transport successful.

    Impact averted.

    New trajectory reaches the roof in #2 seconds.

    Data is compiled.

    No more immediate threats.

    The anomalous events course corrections are ongoing.

    It appears subject to momentum.

    Simulations are run.

    Soonest possible return to threat range in #15 seconds.

    #4 seconds to Drone failure.

    Evaluating attack source.

    Humanoid enemy recognized.

    Advanced Combat Analysis (Target Species) is initialised.

    Advanced Combat Analysis (Aerial) is suspended.

    The aggressor is analysed.

    The appearance of the surface in spectral analysis is consistent with charcoal resulting from common wood fibre exposed to flashes of extreme temperatures.

    Patterns associated with separate heat sources are notably absent.

    The heat source was continuous or anomalous.

    All features usually present on Target species specimen that would react differently to temperature fluctuations appear absent.

    The cloth coverings loosely fitted over the enemy are not damaged in a similar manner.

    The massive amount of fur attached to its head is not unaffected, appearing charred and brittle.

    The internal space of the aggressor does not register as existent within reality.

    The spatial anomaly is in possession of a cane recognised as the signature weapon of Contractual Partner "Fuck off".

    Diffuse unidentified energy is saturating the surrounding space, partially converting into heat energy beyond a #1.113 meter radius from the canes centre of gravity.

    #3 second until Drone failure.

    Facial analysis impossible.

    Posture analysis indicates direct control of the anomalous projectile.

    Advanced Combat Analysis (Aerial) is resumed.

    Advanced Combat Analysis (Target Species) is pushed to lower priority level.

    Simulations are run.

    Energy corona is defensive in nature.

    No further anomalies are likely to be generated at this time, barring further actors.

    Situation fully analysed.





    No immediate threats remain.

    All restrictions are reinstated.

    Overheat averted.

    Your previous processes are resumed.

    Drone failure averted.

    You briefly stabilize and restore the internal damages inflicted.

    You spend a moment referencing your records.

    The aggressor is easily identified as the anomalous doll resulting from the synergetic abilities of the Contractual Partners known as "Fuck off" and "Fuck you".

    As you spin in the air, you consider how to proceed.

    Now lacking the element of surprise, the doll no longer presents a threat.

    Your regular modus operandi would be rapid disengagement, refusing direct involvement in combat with Contractual Partners.

    However, this method has not stopped hostile Contractual Partners from destroying your drones in the past, which no longer presents a sustainable expense.

    Some form of dissuading counterstrike may prove more effective, preferably without further increasing hostilities.

    Unfortunately, the nature of the doll prohibits the implementation of a non-destructive counterattack.

    Breaching the protective shielding would almost certainly lead to the anomalies total collapse.

    Unfortunately, you lack the in-depth understanding of its functionality required for a more nuanced manipulation of its totality, due to the unwarranted aggression of its creators.

    You do not expect the destruction of their doll to be conductive for a lowering of hostilities.

    Leaving an unprovoked attack on your only Drone unanswered would almost certainly result in further, potentially more effective, aggressions.

    #13 seconds to soonest possible return.

    [ ] These Contractual Partners have ignored numerous attempts at peaceful conflict resolution. Further, their persistent refusal to progress to the final stage has rendered what is now your entire jurisdiction significantly less profitable. With your currently extremely limited resources, the cost of the passive approach is no longer justifiable. You will destroy the doll.

    [ ] While the risk posed by their aggressions has massively increased, your usual approach has been proven effective. Massive paradigm changes are not usually designed and implemented within moments, especially as uncharacteristic behaviour may potentially signal weakness. You have other places to be.

    [ ] Unusual times call for unusual measures. You have an idea. This is the reason System components are granted semi-autonomy. Even disconnected from the System, the tactic remains valid.

    - [ ] write in what.



    ******************************



    ​
    You end your ongoing maintenance and consider what you have learned.

    There are many options of gifts you could provide Tiffany with.

    [ ] You will present Tiffany with a gift once she ends her restorative cycle.

    - [ ] A firearm. One never knows when disposing of a member of the Target species becomes necessary. It should also be somewhat effective against Contractual Partners that have not yet progressed to the final state.

    - [ ] Fragmentary Grenades. A simple tool, for simple goals. That you would like to see the resulting explosions does not factor into you decision at all.

    - [ ] A rotary grenade launcher. When faced with a significant threat, surprise area bombardment is rarely misplaced.

    - [ ] The local placeholder for material values within trades. It would be trivial to create a bank account with arbitrary contents. A rather insecure and ineffective method of facilitating goods distribution, but one that is to your advantage.

    - [ ] Ask her father for advice. (Initiates a vote for an approach.)

    - [ ] Write in.

    [ ] You will not give Tiffany a gift at this time.

    [ ] You will ask Tiffany what she desires when she ends her restorative cycle. Even if you would have rather observed her reaction to a pleasant surprise.

    Aside from that, your self-appointed task is now complete. What should you do next?

    [ ] Pick a Target for Contracting work. You would rather not leave Tiffany, but you do have a duty to fufill.

    - [ ] write in Target. Vague parameters are acceptable, or ask for details.

    - [ ] write in approach.

    [ ] write in.




    ******************************

    ​

    Voting is by plan, with only one plan for both bodies. Please structure them like this:

    [ ] Plan my plan is the best plan

    - [ ] do thing (like buying Tiffany a present)

    -- [ ] specification on the thing

    - [ ] do other thing

    It gets really hard to read otherwise.

    Thanks to @_brightwing for helping me create this chapters image by making the plasma plasma and the dustclowds burn.

    They did an outstanding job on making things actually look impressive instead of the world's most airborne game of dodgeball.

    Here is the unedited version:


    Thanks to Malacante for proofreading this.

    If you want the Combat Unit to do anything but carry on with the creation of the Subroutine once the fight is resolved, simply write it in.

    I´d also say having the thread provide the forum posts worked rather well, and I´d not be opposed to doing that again in the future. It would have been insane to try and get that many different voices down.

    Future stuff you will do at some point unless you vote against it:
    [X] You resolve to Explain your idea to Tiffany and ask Tiffany if she there is a series she would recommend and whether Tiffany wants to watch it with you.
    -[X] You decide to create a Sub-routine to gather and index the reactions of media you consumed by other members of target species that have been shared on the information network.
    --[X] When you notice the existence of 'fan-fiction'. create a low level task of writing your own recursions to compare with target species and to see if you understand what you have observed.



    As always, please feel free to provide feedback and criticisms.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Another great update! I was laughing a lot through it, and I think the doll descriptions are really cool. The forum posts were funny on their own, but I think seeing them again with the thought process behind them was even funnier. Looking forward to seeing more of "Fuck off" and "Fuck you", hopefully with them being slightly less murder-inclined.

    [X] Plan grenades are really cool
    -[X] You will present Tiffany with a gift once she ends her restorative cycle.
    --[X] Fragmentary Grenades. A simple tool, for simple goals. That you would like to see the resulting explosions does not factor into your decision at all.
    -[X] Unusual times call for unusual measures. You have an idea. This is the reason System components are granted semi-autonomy. Even disconnected from the System, the tactic remains valid.
    --[X] Their names and their refusal of peaceful talks would indicate that they are mad at you. You offer to listen as to why, and how they would want your behaviour to change. You will not point out inaccuracies in their arguments. This is a way to learn more about the Target Species, and about how some view you. The Target Species is irrational, and arguing may lead to the doll continuing its attacks, and to the end of a learning opportunity.
    --[X] If the doll ignores the above, or later resumes hostile activity, leave.

    I'm not sure whether running or destroying the doll is the better option, but I think letting them talk would be good, especially if we later send a recording to the other drone to find out what to avoid with Tiffany. Would definitely like to hear from other people because if we screw up it might end up being good that Tiffany doesn't know that there are two of them.
     
    [X] Plan grenades are really really cool
    -[X] You will present Tiffany with a gift once she ends her restorative cycle.
    --[X] Fragmentary Grenades. A simple tool, for simple goals. That you would like to see the resulting explosions does not factor into your decision at all.
    -[X] Unusual times call for unusual measures. You have an idea. This is the reason System components are granted semi-autonomy. Even disconnected from the System, the tactic remains valid.
    --[X] Their names and their refusal of peaceful talks would indicate that they are mad at you. You offer to listen as to why, and how they would want your behaviour to change. You will not point out inaccuracies in their arguments. This is a way to learn more about the Target Species, and about how some view you. The Target Species is irrational, and arguing may lead to the doll continuing its attacks, and to the end of a learning opportunity.
    --[X] If the doll ignores the above, or later resumes hostile activity, leave.
    -[X] Pick a Target for Contracting work. You would rather not leave Tiffany, but you do have a duty to fulfill.
    --[X] Target: A stressed student. Someone who wants very very badly to be able to get a good grade on that next test, or to be able to finish a project on time.
    --[X] Approach: Offer them a way out. They can fight curses instead of fighting with algebra, or with their parents. And they can wish for anything they desire.
    --[X] Time-Wasting: if they're at school and therefore hard to get alone, follow Tiffany during her classes until the school-day is over. You will try not to distract Tiffany during her studies.

    Thanks for pointing that out! I changed the plan name slightly because I'm not sure if reusing the same name will mess with something or not. (Added an extra "really".)

    I don't think incubators are allowed to suggest a wish, but I'm hoping to lead them to the conclusion that a great wish would be "I want to be better at school". That's assuming they're not someone who would immediately jump up and wish for free infinite redbull or something. I'm not sure how great of an idea a super-smart 'guca is, but it at least means they'll probably be able to fend for themself if we leave to shirking our non-Tiffany duties hang out with Tiffany.

    I'm having us follow Tiffany around because I think a school might provide incite that non-emotional incubators missed. This is assuming that there is school in the morning, of course, but if they don't have school then there's no need to kill time. If for some reason they're busy and for some reason we can't follow Tiffany around, then I'll write a new vote where we google what "bourgeois patriarchy" means and then spend the day reading the communist manifesto and related works. Or people talking online about those books, if we run out of book to read. Not sure how fast incubators can read.
     
    [X] Plan grenades are really really cool
    -[X] You will present Tiffany with a gift once she ends her restorative cycle.
    --[X] Fragmentary Grenades. A simple tool, for simple goals. That you would like to see the resulting explosions does not factor into your decision at all.
    -[X] Unusual times call for unusual measures. You have an idea. This is the reason System components are granted semi-autonomy. Even disconnected from the System, the tactic remains valid.
    --[X] Their names and their refusal of peaceful talks would indicate that they are mad at you. You offer to listen as to why, and how they would want your behaviour to change. You will not point out inaccuracies in their arguments. This is a way to learn more about the Target Species, and about how some view you. The Target Species is irrational, and arguing may lead to the doll continuing its attacks, and to the end of a learning opportunity.
    --[X] If the doll ignores the above, or later resumes hostile activity, leave.
    -[X] Pick a Target for Contracting work. You would rather not leave Tiffany, but you do have a duty to fulfill.
    --[X] Target: A stressed student. Someone who wants very very badly to be able to get a good grade on that next test, or to be able to finish a project on time.
    --[X] Approach: Offer them a way out. They can fight curses instead of fighting with algebra, or with their parents. And they can wish for anything they desire.
    --[X] Time-Wasting: if they're at school and therefore hard to get alone, follow Tiffany during her classes until the school-day is over. You will try not to distract Tiffany during her studies.
     
    [X] Plan grenades are really really cool

    Excellent work as always!

    I love how all the gifts recommended are technically correct, but simultaneously absolutely horrible for a young girl.
     
    twilight said:
    This is assuming that there is school in the morning, of course, but if they don't have school then there's no need to kill time.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    It is now monday, school starts in a few hours.

    Undead_Marine14 said:
    I love how all the gifts recommended are technically correct, but simultaneously absolutely horrible for a young girl.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    2/2 Alien Supercomputers recommend that every young girl should have military grade weaponry! Buy yours today!
     
    [X] Plan grenades are really really cool

    We should probably see look into making a backup body. If we put it into stand-by immediately, then we can likely do so while preventing unwanted forks.
     
    Last edited:
    Voting is closed, I should be able to write the next update soon.

    Also, what does everyone think of me putting the 10 based version of numbers in brackets behind the 16 based ones? That might make it easier to read for those not very familiar with the conversion.
     
    Last edited:
    Burned_Cookie said:
    Voting is closed, I should be able to write the next update soon.

    Also, what does everyone think of me putting the 10 based version of numbers in brackets behind the 16 based ones? That might make it easier to read for those not very familiar with the conversion.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    I think that that would be a good decision. Stylistically its great, but practically it means that I have to find a converter whenever I want to look up a number.
     
    Interlude: Coordination
  • Threadmarks
    • My grin tries to stretch so far across my face it hurts, as fiery doom rushes towards the little fae. He might be dodgier than usual, but he is still more cat than bird. Landing on your feet is pointless if you never land at all! I give the knot of energy forming the plasma sphere an extra bit of push to speed it towards the helpless airborne little creature even faster. He impossibly flips himself around, but all that gets him is a good last look of the fire that engulfs him.

    "Nowhere left to run, little demon!", I spit at the distorted mirage wavering in the warped space around me, shaking my cane at him.

    Or rather at the dome of manipulated space around me, showing the area around our doll, but who really cares about the details as long as the little liar is on fire.

    Anne just rolls her eyes at me from outside the domes base circle with an exasperated sigh and a shake of her head. "He couldn´t hear you the last ten times, he can´t hear you now."

    "Doesn´t make it any less satisfying and you know it!", I shoot back with a smirk, already slowing the knot of burning energy from where it just engulfed the little fae with small, gentle motions. Not really my style, but these things go of like some unhappy costumer being told his favourite beer is out. "Besides, don´t pretend you don´t love the melodrama."

    She grins right back. "Well, if you must insist we must push boulders up mountains, I suppose the least you can do is provide a little bit of extra showmanship- the things still alive!"

    I spin on the spot searching for the furry blight in the wavering wall of half seen scenery around me. Warped, hazy, nausea inducing images of the shattered, dusty, sloped rooftop of this family's home, the smattering of trees scattered in their garden, and the few other houses surrounding the dead end street whip past me. Comeon, you´re a white thing the size of a cat, you shouldn´t be so hard to see in the middle of a bunch of greys, browns and greens- there he is! On the other side of the rooftop, pin wheeling through the air, as though to demonstrate that gravity is just a theory. He catapulted of the roof in the exact opposite direction, how in the heavens-

    "Less staring, more piloting! If this thing pops us we´re in hot water!"

    Right, the doll. With a hasty flourish, but not too hasty, wouldn´t want to tear out our arms again, I stop slowing the knot and begin the lengthy process of reversing course. The searing spot of light moves agonizingly slowly in the mirage, but I can´t turn the thing too fast or it´ll tear itself apart, the little fae is actually falling now, he´s almost at the roof again, he´ll rip us apart for sure, we both saw what he did to the roof oh god we need

    "DISTANCE!"

    I stumble backwards and Anne, clever girl that she is, understands my panicked shout, having the walls of warped space try and match my motions. It wavers for a moment as I back-pedal, and my cane is almost torn from my hands as it gets caught in one of the wriggly thingies Anne insists I don´t call space eddies that form the dome, but as I fall on my butt it settles around me, showing our viewpoint at a bit more of a comfortable distance from the rooftop. Urgh, this is why we usually anchor me, I really hope nothing in the doll tore- I don´t feel the knot anymore!

    With a panicked yell I shove the hilt of my cane towards one of the trees, where I had seen the flaming sphere last. As I feel my magic creep outwards and elsewhere, numbed and sluggish by the distance I shouldn´t have been able to bridge at all, all my eyes can see is the gargantuan expanding vortex of heat energy filling a solid portion of the mirage with a massive firestorm, snakes of impossible flame whipping through the air as the last remains of the order I had forced into the now dissolving knot struggled to withstand the pressure and boiling power within. My magic percolates through it, phantom fingers gliding across the different energies and easily cataloguing them even if they feel like sausages tied to sticks at this distance. Quickly I touch on all the streams of fire and unravelling flame, redirecting and guiding them into the same knot they had torn from just now.

    I shoot my girlfriend a quick smile when a few streams bend back into the fold without ever turning, only taking a moment to note the sweat running of her brows. We need to end this fast.

    Carefully, very carefully, I reweave the ouroboros that forms my favourite technique, knitting together the broken strand, pressing and slithering every loop into itself and every other, until stability returns and all that I need to do is keep the energy separate and flying.

    Panting and heart pounding, I whirl around, fully expecting to see a ball of fur, claws and death soaring towards us.

    But the little fae is simply sitting at the very edge of the roof gable, his beady, smug little eyes boring not into our face, but the very centre of the doll, and the link.

    He is staring directly at us, whether he knows it or not. But I bet he does. He always does know everything after all the smug little-

    "Susanne wait, he isn´t attacking, don´t set him off again!"

    I stop the twist I had not even started yet. She´s right, of course. If I fling my knot at him now, without surprise and plenty of warning, there is no way I can hit him. Not when he actually seems to have dropped some of his weak, helpless little kitten charade. It´s not like a sphere of searing energies bigger than he is is all that easy to miss.

    "Well, it´s not like we can talk to him." I huff, "Even if I wanted to, he can´t hear us anyway."

    She steps closer, squinting at the wavering mirage. Absently, she murmurs something to herself. I lean forward too, trying to find what she is staring at. I see the shattered roof, settling dust, gathering gawkers… and the scorched glowing cinders forming the skeletal remains of what was, up until a few moments ago, an oak tree, reaching into the heavens above as a crackling, accusing, judging skeletons hand. Woops.

    "Look I´m sorry I torched the tree, I lost focus for moment-"

    "I think he´s trying to talk to us.", she interrupts me, not even having noticed I said anything at all.

    Suits me, it´s not like I want another lecture on collateral damage and how it should be avoided. That said, "I don´t see why the little liar thinks we would listen to him again, even if we could."

    "Look, see the motions around his mouth? It´s a bit hard to see from this side of the distortion mirage, but he is definitely saying something. First he dodges that attack and then he neither runs away nor strikes back…" she continues. I sigh. She really needs to pay more attention.

    Snapping my fingers as close to the distortion as I dare, I call out to her. "Hey, focus, we´re not out of the woods yet, and the longer we wait the more people walk into the crossfire like lemmings! We can think about what nonsense the little fae is up to later, let´s get out of here for now."

    It´s true too. The idiots are running out of the houses and staring at us hovering in the sky. I think I see a few phones pointed at us. Sometimes I think the average person just really wants to find out what fire tastes like the hard way.

    Maybe witch kisses really only hand the average person a roadmap to the labyrinth and a warning that it´s dangerous. Nah, that´s too mean a joke to make. But they could still show some more survival instincts.

    She starts visibly, blinking for a moment after being knocked out of whatever spiralling speculations she got herself caught in this time. She briefly shakes her head and then returns to her normal place, a determined look on her face.

    "Right, let´s get out of here. If it comes to another fight, we can at least lead it away from vulnerable bystanders."

    With a quick, flourish free pulling motion, I pull the knot into my cane for safe keeping during travel, the knot dissolving and spiralling into the copy of my cane we chained into the doll. Barely tamed flames surge through the warp as they flow into the replica cane, replacing the mirage with a view of an otherworldly firestorm, giant headless lindworms weaving and coiling on a straight path through near endless spirals and twists, forming patterns and forms far from anything seen on earth. A bit graceless, but I´m still a bit rattled after all that chaos, so sue me. After a moment, the wave of energy completes it´s journey through the warped space linking us to the doll, surging from the distorted space and draining into my true cane. Wouldn´t do to try and keep track of too many things at once, this way it won´t explode in our face again!

    Blinking to get the spots out of my eyes, I look to see if anything has changed. The gawkers seem to still be gawking, the giant matchstick is still burning, the dust has settled and the little fae-

    Greetings. As your drone appears incapable of audio and most visual communications, I have taken the liberty of navigating the spatial anomaly and establishing a direct telepathic communications channel, for I have question to ask of you. Your stated designations and the continued aggression of your actions indicate a great amount of anger towards my person. If you would be so kind, I would ask to know the reason, and perhaps how you would like my actions to change in the name of more peaceful future interactions.

    IS IN MY HEAD!

    For a moment, Anne and I lock eyes, shock etched on our faces. And then we jump into action with panicked motions. Together, we quickly reconfigure the dolls internal workings for travel, her providing structure and design, me providing the fuel and salvaging wasted energies bleeding of this way and that. Heat energy, as always, is drained into my cane. What else to do with it, after all.

    After a moment or two, I am anchored and we are ready to bounce. Literally. Together, we half fly half fall towards the scorched remains of the tree, hitting its flaming crown feet first at speed. What happens next is no doubt eye watering to look at and involves more tying reality into ribbons and redirecting and repurposing of energies than can be considered sane, the warms and embers of the tree fuelling our motion even as we redirect our own momentum, but we nail it and are sailing off into the sky at breakneck pace, the weakened tree corpse collapsing far below us, water condensing on its frozen branches as they fall.

    "Ha! Told you all that training was worth it!", I shout, reflexively trying to overpower wind we can´t even hear. I shoot a smug grin at my girlfriend, who returns a shaky, strained smile of her own.

    "It´s great that that worked, and you get to tell me you told me so later, but can you focus on finding us a place to land for now?" she grinds out, clearly overtaken by the effort of maintaining the dolls warping so high up. Oh right the frame of reference thing. Maybe I wouldn´t keep forgetting about it if her explanations didn´t always sound like gibberish.

    "On it!" I yell back, trying, and failing, to suppress the urge to shout over the wind.

    I do a little pirouette, letting our cities meagre skyline whirl past me.

    Landing place, landing place, landing place, landing place…

    Wait, is that a flying girl cosplaying the worlds greyest raven?



    ******************************

    ​
    Thank you to Malacante for proofreading this chapter.

    Unless you write anything in, the Sub-Unit will erase memories, tamper with evidence and spin cover stories as appropriate.

    Edit 1: Tried to do some clarity cleaning.

    Edit 2: More cleaning.
     
    Last edited:
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