Glorious Shotgun Princess, Thread 3

I think going off into a tangent about the Usurpation, whether or not it was justified and if the Prophecy of Gold was ever really viable is starting to seriously get off topic for the thread. It's still somewhat on topic now, considering what Kejak has overheard, but let's not go crazy okay? Detailed discussion about the Usurptation and all related to it is something far more suited for the General Exalted Debate Thread. Let's not annoy Greg by eating up pages on this topic, eh?
 
Ketchup is not the only one having a "WTF!?" moment.

You have no idea how much I would want to be a little dead-fly in the Underworld at this very moment.
 
Winged Knight said:
I think going off into a tangent about the Usurpation, whether or not it was justified and if the Prophecy of Gold was ever really viable is starting to seriously get off topic for the thread. It's still somewhat on topic now, considering what Kejak has overheard, but let's not go crazy okay? Detailed discussion about the Usurptation and all related to it is something far more suited for the General Exalted Debate Thread. Let's not annoy Greg by eating up pages on this topic, eh?
In all fairness, consider two things;

First, Chejop Kejak is about to die, as per canon. Either an age is about to end, or there is a hard time limit on his life. Either way, he's going to kick the bucket soon, and he's just been given evidence that his actions- no matter how justified- can and should be called into question. This is going to fuck with him a lot. And when someone dies with work unfulfilled, with their entire life shattered, they become a ghost. Imagine Chejop Kejak as a Sidereal Ghost.

So talking about the Usurpation, especially when you're going to have him question whether or not he could have averted it if he knew about the Curse, is going to mess with him.

Second, I'm flying out on vacation today, so I'll probably be in and out of communication for the next day through jet lag and travel. So tangent away! But not too wildly.
 
Durabys said:
Ketchup is not the only one having a "WTF!?" moment.

You have no idea how much I would want to be a little dead-fly in the Underworld at this very moment.
Why? Autochthon didn't announce it to all existence, just the Incarnae and a couple of senior gods. He's not stupid.
 
Vanigo said:
I love the implication that Auto messed with the sky, broke into Lytek's office, swiped his tools, and kidnapped him as part of a scheme to deal with the corruption in the heavenly bureaucracy.
Autochthon has a mind like a steel trap. Armed with lasers. And a rocket motor. Sometimes it grabs other things, however, and that's how you lead to scenes like this.
 
Aleph said:
Why? Autochthon didn't announce it to all existence, just the Incarnae and a couple of senior gods. He's not stupid.
I have no doubt the Neverborn are going to learn of this rather soon-ish.
 
Scya said:
The God of slavery is also working with the Lover and I think he was celestial and not terrestrial.
... and Autochthon is telling this to the Incarnae and Gaia alone, as far as I can see. Chejop has managed to eavesdrop because he's a 5000-year old Sidereal master. I seriously doubt that anyone else in Heaven has the oomph to spy on all seven Incarnae plus a once-Primordial plus an actual Primordial without them noticing.
 
Aleph said:
... and Autochthon is telling this to the Incarnae and Gaia alone, as far as I can see. Chejop has managed to eavesdrop because he's a 5000-year old Sidereal master. I seriously doubt that anyone else in Heaven has the oomph to spy on all seven Incarnae plus a once-Primordial plus an actual Primordial without them noticing.
*shrug* I never said it was likely that he would learn it either as I concur there in regards to this specific topic and should have chosen to mention that fact.
It was mainly because the discussion went "they will learn it now because they are Deathlords." "no they need Exalted for that and they only got one there."
And that having access to a celestial god is still useful for them outside of the current talks like the fact that they would also learn about Autochthon return as the information flow from Malfeas to the underworld is usually spotty at best.
 
Essex said:
Gee, Autochthon (inventor of the Exaltations) swallows Lytek (who maintains the Exaltations) in public and then immediately meets with the Incarnae (who made the Solar, Lunar and Sidereal Exaltations). I wonder what the Neverborn (who cursed the Exaltations) will presume their meeting is about? No spies needed to figure this out.
Nothing, because the only thought the Neverborn are capable of having is "KIIIIILLLL MMMMEEEEEEEEE".
 
45
"A great curse." The Sun massages his jaw. "That influenced the actions of my chosen." He glances at the others present. Luna nods, not looking the least bit guilty. He looks past her, towards the woman in the green hood, and she nods. The Sun whirls towards Autochthon. To his credit, Autochthon only takes a step back.

"How have we not known about this?"

Auto turns. He looks at Kal, then at Kamilla. Balling a hand and coughing, he tuns back to the Sun. "In fairness, none of us wee equipped to deal with it at the time. I had fled Creation, you had turned your back upon the Chosen. Only one person knew about the Curse."

Silence reigns, the seven Incarnae and the single Jouten musing upon it. Even though they know, they wait for the Sun. "Lytek."

Autochthon nods. "Bring him forth," the Sun declares, standing and hand extended, "Bring him forth now!"

Autochthon nods again. Facet eyes rotate, a hand on his chest. He waits, silently. Murmuring of something, directions and locations. "Oh dammit he's not in the mansion." He turns, whirling on Kal, then on the Incarnae. "I put him right there! RIGHT THERE! And now he's gone and wait let me check the rooms and " Facet eyes rotate and flash a single color. "Oh fuck all kinds of duck he went through the portal into the Design!"

The doors grind open. Kal and Auto turn, watching the solid wall of orichalcum lions enter, lead by a massive lion of white and gold, filling the room with light and majesty. It strides forward, hair billowing in an ever present breeze, its main majestic, flowing and forming a halo in passing. "Our apologies, Most High," the largest of the lions booms, "But these are threats that cannot stand!"

The Sun tuns to the lions. "Shining Barrator, explain the charges."

Kamilla floats behind Autochthon, hands on his shoulders and peaking out.

"The laws of Heaven have been broken, severely and at length," the lion states, circling the sidereal, the geth, and the Maker, "Tampering with the Skydome. Mass panic among lesser and greater gods." The lion bares teeth. "Bringing an Adorjan Behemoth into Yu Shan."

The facet eyes narrow. Steam escapes the grill, and the voice issues forth from the brass giant with nothing but chill and certainty. "Touch my niece and you die."

The lions take a careful step back. Shining Barrator does not. "Threatening the life of a Celestial Lion," he continues, "We have come to arrest these criminals and bring them to trial. Will you allow this, Most High?"

Hands folded over her mouth, Gaia cocks a careful eyebrow. The Unconquered Sun narrows his eyes. Luna smirks. And Mercury smiles, almost ear to ear, and that is all the cue that Kal needs. "Fuck this," he says, "Sorry for the language, sir. Ma'ams."

And then he pulls something from his suit. A small device, fitting into his palm. Dark blue, angular, and with a pulsing core of blue. Kal grabs Wuffles by the arm, and places his other hand on Autochthon as Kamilla wraps her arms around her uncle's neck. Blue lightning wraps around them, crackling into a crescendo, and they are gone.




Air pulses outwards and releases them. Autochthon floats, feet pulsing with golden light. Wuffles floats, forming a pair of wings from their back. Kamilla floats, hugging her uncle's arm. And Kal falls. But then was never falling at all, appearing on the shore of the golden river.

"Well, you are learning," Autochthon booms, lowering himself to the ground, "Training's going well?"

Kal groans, shaking his head. "Okay, now what? Heaven wants our asses."

"And yet what I need cannot be done in Heaven at current." Autochthon stomps past, the head of the body splitting and releasing the sphere. The war form drops backwards, disappearing in a crack of white, and Kamilla sits on the seat that forms out of the ball. "With Lytek in the Design, we can only hope that Shepard can return him here. Without Lytek, we have no long-term observations of the Great Curse. However, this gives us a chance to succeed in an alternate goal."

Kal shrugs. "Which is?"

The eye turns. An empty dragon boat passes them, the dragon head spotting the eye and the boat picking up speed. "I need my tools, but I cannot make them. Not as I am now." Kal nods, motioning him to continue. "However, if there is one thing that I am certain of, it is that my capabilities and the capabilities of the Unconquered Sun are hard limits which cannot be surpassed!"

Kal nods again, walking alongside Auto towards a wooden gateway. "Okay. So we ask..." Kal shrugs. "We ask the Sun to make new ones?"

The eye rotates back and forth. "No. We ask someone who can exceed even the capabilites of the Unconquered Sun." The gate bursts into life, golden light and old, dead script forming a gateway to Creation. "We find ourselves a Solar Craftsman."
 
Gamerex27 said:
On that note, we've already seen some of Shepard's Shard Flashbacks, if I remember correctly. So far, they haven't had a detrimental effect on her, but did her Shard belong to one of the Solars involved in the really screwed up stuff during the First Age? If so, it could either be played for some pretty funny comedy or some big dramatic moments. It could go either way, given the tone of this fic.
According to Gregg, the last holder of Shepard's Exaltation was Bright Star, a Second Age Solar and the leader of the circle that cured Autobot of his horrible robo cancer only to get turned into Harbringer.
Something tells me that I'm getting something horribly wrong about Exalted with this idea, and I'll probably incur some angry rants from a few of the readers here. If so, please be gentle, and try to remember that I'm a newbie who doesn't have access to Exalted sourcebooks (due to the nearest RPG store being like 50 miles away.)
If you want the books, you can either download them as PDFs from http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/ or order the dead tree version from the same and have them delivered.
 
Nervaqus987 said:
According to Gregg, the last holder of Shepard's Exaltation was Bright Star, a Second Age Solar and the leader of the circle that cured Autobot of his horrible robo cancer only to get turned into Harbringer.

..snippet..
Wait. I thought the Solar Zenith Science-Emperor of the Prothean Empire was the last holder of Shepard's shard? :confused:

Ninja'd by Odysseus2099
 
The Kulani Lounge was the name of an upperclass restaurant in the Presidium. The name, taken from an old Asari dialect that meant Maturity was different than most Asari hangouts Jane had been to. There was no obnoxious techno music, no cheap alcohol, and all the Asari were wearing clothes. Including clothes which covered their ass.

Indeed, the drinks were high class and low alcohol, she muses while sipping a long stemmed glass with a drink that was a metaphor. The tables had cloths over them, and there was not a pole in sight. She wonders- this is not just a bar, is it?

"It's the sort of restaurant that Asari Matrons frequent," Liara says, sitting across from her, clad in a white, blue lined suit like she normally wears, "Now that my maturity is recognized, I have been given an official invite."

Jane purses her lips, rolling her shoulders and glancing side to side. Tali and Chakwas stare at Liara. Tali's mouthpiece glows as if to ask a question. "The main form of discrimination in Asari culture is age-based," Karin answers, "Don't...just don't go into it." She nurses her glass of brandy, shaking her head. "Please-"

The asari sitting on Jane's right shakes her head and sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "It's relatively well known," she says with Garrus' voice, "If it's a secret, it's a badly kept one."

"I'd just like to once again repeat," Jane starts, "Garrus, that is really fucking creepy."

Garrus shrugs and adjusts the collar of his sailor fuku. "Look, if I ran into any female turians," she raises a finger, "Who were in gangs on Omega I'd be wearing their face, but I didn't." Chakwas rubs the bridge of her nose again. "But the fact of the matter is, this face and this outfit came together. Eclipse is..." Garrus shudders. "Eclipse is troubling."

Karin downs the brandy with a single pull, grabs the bottle in front of her, and pours another glass. Next to Tali, Iri languidly keeps humming a tune, while thrusting the phallic proboscis out of her mouth and into the enormous mug full of chocolate irish liquor.
 
Majin83 said:
Well, never specified he was in an Asari body...could be human...or even batarian for all we know! :p
Au contraire, mon capitan.
GreggHL said:
The asari sitting on Jane's right shakes her head and sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "It's relatively well known," she says with Garrus' voice, "If it's a secret, it's a badly kept one."

"I'd just like to once again repeat," Jane starts, "Garrus, that is really fucking creepy."
 
Also, it's entirely possible Garrus is not using Twin-Faced Hero. The Asari are a mono-gendered race, and you'd think Twin-Faced Hero lets you reproduce (among other things) a female voice.

On the other hand, Garrus is a troll. A Lunar Shard has probably only made that worse.
 
46
The Kulani Lounge was the name of an upperclass restaurant in the Presidium. The name, taken from an old Asari dialect that meant Maturity was different than most Asari hangouts Jane had been to. There was no obnoxious techno music, no cheap alcohol, and all the Asari were wearing clothes. Including clothes which covered their ass.

Indeed, the drinks were high class and low alcohol, she muses while sipping a long stemmed glass with a drink that was a metaphor. The tables had cloths over them, and there was not a pole in sight. She wonders- this is not just a bar, is it?

"It's the sort of restaurant that Asari Matrons frequent," Liara says, sitting across from her, clad in a white, blue lined suit like she normally wears, "Now that my maturity is recognized, I have been given an official invite."

Jane purses her lips, rolling her shoulders and glancing side to side. Tali and Chakwas stare at Liara. Tali's mouthpiece glows as if to ask a question. "The main form of discrimination in Asari culture is age-based," Karin answers, "Don't...just don't go into it." She nurses her glass of brandy, shaking her head. "Please-"

The asari sitting on Jane's right shakes her head and sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "It's relatively well known," she says with Garrus' voice, "If it's a secret, it's a badly kept one."

"I'd just like to once again repeat," Jane starts, "Garrus, that is really fucking creepy."

Garrus shrugs and adjusts the collar of his sailor fuku. "Look, if I ran into any female turians," she raises a finger, "Who were in gangs on Omega I'd be wearing their face, but I didn't." Chakwas rubs the bridge of her nose again. "But the fact of the matter is, this face and this outfit came together. Eclipse is..." Garrus shudders. "Eclipse is troubling."

Karin downs the brandy with a single pull, grabs the bottle in front of her, and pours another glass. Next to Tali, Iri languidly keeps humming a tune, while thrusting the phallic proboscis out of her mouth and into the enormous mug full of chocolate irish liquor.

"I don't want to know what happens when she gets drunk," Tali observes, and turns back to Jane, "Well, Shepard. This is...awkward. Garrus, if this is a girl's night out, why are you here?" Tali taps her fingers, staring at the quite frankly attractive Asari who happens to also be Garrus.

Garrus, in response, shrugs and sips his appletini.

"This is the most awkward thing ever," Tali says, "Can anyone suggest something? Anything? More awkward?"

"Being trapped spread eagle in a prothean security device," Liara responds.

"Having to ask the Commander to refill my liquor stock," Chakwas drones.

"Running into my ex-husband while I'm on shore leave," Jane groans, sipping her drink. Then lowering it and finding several eyes on her. Liara stares, cup still raised. Tali tilts her head. Chakwas says nothing, lips a straight line. Iri runs her long tongue along the bottom of her glass and raises it.

"Another!" she roars, and smashes it on the ground.
 
...okay, someone's gonna have to ask.

Who's (lucky/crazy/fearless enough to be) the Commander's ex?
 
Oh yeah let's feed the genki girl spider Baileys what could possible go wrong~
 
GreggHL said:
Oh yeah let's feed the genki girl spider Baileys what could possible go wrong~
That depends on your definition of "wrong".

And your aussumption that things haven't gone wrong before someone started feeding the spider-cyborg alcohol.
 
And here Liara thought she was just going to get a nice quiet date with Jane. Silly Liara, nothing is ever quiet when Jane is around.
 
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