fate/first order derivative
Rated M for frequent profanity.
Description:
An eccentric nerd...
Rated M for frequent profanity.
Description:
An eccentric nerd...
fate/first order derivative [FSN]
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Part I - i.1
- Location
- USA
fate/first order derivative
Rated M for frequent profanity.
Description:
An eccentric nerd finds himself stuck in a time loop after something weird happens down the street at Shirou Emiya's place. Tom Tomonaga doesn't know why he's repeating the same two weeks over and over again. He doesn't know anything about magic, the secret world of mages, or the Grail War. But he'll have to learn if he wants to escape back into a world that makes sense, all while arguing with a pushy voice inside of his own head and discovering how many ways there are to die (spoiler: they all suck.) Also features science in an absurd universe, frequent psychological trauma, and -- oh yeah -- the end of the world.
So on the suggestion of one of my readers on a different site, I'm going to try posting this story directly to this forum. This is a new thing for me, so we'll see how it goes. I'll try and post a new chapter daily until I'm caught up with what I've posted elsewhere. Anyone who wants to read ahead can head over to the fanfiction.net or wattpad versions of the story.
A few things I should mention before I get started:
Part I.1
> be: tomasu tomonaga
Wow, not a great start! My condolences. There's just two things you need to know about me:
1. When I was three or four, I tried sticking a knife into an electrical outlet just to see how it worked. No idea how I survived. Got blown halfway across the room. I don't remember this myself, of course. I just heard it secondhand from my mom years after the fact. She said she had to rush in and stop me from trying it again.
2. I'm a high schooler, it's Friday night, and I'm sitting in my room, trying to figure out how calculus works on my own. Not for a class. Oh, no. This is for fun. Kind of.
And that's it. That's me in a nutshell. Well, okay -- that, and I've clearly spent enough time reading imageboard stories and playing old text adventure games that it's infected my inner monologue. But that's more of a side detail.
You sure you don't want to choose again? Wouldn't blame you. Clearly, mistakes have been made.
> more background plz
Fine, fine, if you insist. I'm sixteen, I live in Misaki Town outside Fuyuki, I'm in class 2B of Homurahara Academy, blah blah blah exposition exposition. Look, I'm boring. I know it, you know it. Don't ask me about me, ask me about something interesting.
> so whatcha doing / why calculus
There we go, was that so hard? I'm trying to figure out calculus because these notes I got from my uncle seem to be using it. Seems to be calculating some kind of acceleration or change in potential, I guess? He rarely bothered defining his variables. It's pretty annoying! By which I mean maddening!
> talk about uncle
Oh, Uncle Shin? My dad's older brother. He passed away about a year ago. I inherited a bunch of stuff from him -- well, I say "inherited," but I really just grabbed it out of the trash after my mom threw it out. It's not like anyone else wanted it.
So Uncle Shin was a physicist and a tinkerer. Proudly called himself a "crackpot" -- had a plaque on his wall and everything. (Saved that too. It's on my bookshelf, right between Dune and my TARDIS cookie jar.) Taught courses at the local community college, but his big passion was in these weird sensors and transmitters he put together out of whatever junk he could find. Really crazy stuff. Couldn't even begin to describe the wiring on this board in front of me, for instance. He seems to have deliberately crossed wires two or three times. They're even soldered together...
Anyway, his big theory was that using these sensors of his, he could detect this spectrum that's completely unknown to modern physics. Not anything electromagnetic -- some kind of dark energy that no one else has ever noticed. He said that it could only be found in Fuyuki, though. For whatever reason, his sensors worked in this particular town and nowhere else.
So, anyway, yeah. That's my inheritance: a plaque, a bunch of dusty old machines, and a pile of handwritten notebooks I rescued from the incinerator. Still probably the most interesting thing in my life.
> how did uncle shin die
Cancer. Look, can we not? I don't like thinking about it.
> so why are you looking at this now
Because the notes say to. Okay, in more detail: this particular section I'm looking at seems to involve predicting some kind of... surge, I guess? At the end of it, there's a range of dates circled in red. Which includes this week.
So -- in honor of Uncle Shin, I've set up the one sensor package I think I have all of and powered it up. Got the little scavenged radio dish sticking out of my window. Been waiting for three days now to see if any of the little lights come on. Once more sticking the knife into the electric socket that is the universe. This one's for you, Shin.
> are you trying to get superpowers
... maybe. Or -- I don't know. Minovsky particles. Faster-than-light travel. Flying car. I'd settle for a hoverboard, okay? It's a basic rule of science fiction: never ignore the crackpot inventor. Even if he can't reproduce his results. And a bunch of his notes are mixed in with porn.
> porn?
Yeah, of course you'd ask about that. I'm... just gonna say it. For lack of better words... Uncle Shin was gay. He was really, extremely gay. And he had an active imagination, so I just have to grit my teeth and try to skip those parts and sometimes there's these little, um, diagrams and...
> ok never mind
There's a reason I haven't been working too hard on decoding the cyphered parts, you know?
> are you gay?
I don't... think so? I mean, my crushes -- well, mainly crush singular -- have all been girls. But I guess I can't count it out and you know what can we really change the subject now please? I'd like that very much thanks.
> ok
Look, I'm a nerd, okay? I have accepted that about myself. Sex and sexuality in general, girls, dating -- that ain't my comfort zone, you know? That is in fact the exact opposite of my comfort zone. At least outside of my browser history. (Which is clean. Always. Hey, I live in a house with two parents and a sister. I know how to cover myself, aight? Aight.)
... Huh. That's weird.
> what is
> is it the machine
No, it's one of the houses way down the street. I think a firework just went off in the back yard or something? ... is that Shirou's place?
> describe shirou
Shirou Emiya? I don't really know him that well. We're in the same year but in separate classes. This one time back in middle school, he stopped these other two kids from beating me up. Always kind of felt like I owe him for that...
> he lives down the street and you don't know him
Do I sound like the type who gets out much? His house is pretty big. I guess his dad was rich or something, but he passed away a long time ago. Mom once told me the head of the local Yakuza keeps an eye on him -- which sounds kind of metal, up until you realize all they really do around here is run mahjong parlors and telemarketing scams.
Okay, now I can hear a bunch of shouting. Some different voices. Something about... a bowl? Then a big flash of red light. Maybe he just has a DVD on really loud or something?...
> probably none of your business
Yeah, I guess...
Oh. Oh wow. Machine. Machine is weird now.
> describe machine
Other than the little radar dish, this one is about the size of... I don't know, an answering machine or a small cable box? It's not that big. That's why I took it. Half of it's a bunch of homemade circuit boards and the other's... well. He seems to have wired in a bunch of crystals of some sort? Plus there's the dry cell battery I have it hooked up to and a power switch and the lights, which are supposed to tell you what kind of energy is being picked up...
Okay, okay. I've seen a chart for this. I push my glasses back and flip through the old notebooks. Here it is... so that's one blue, three red, two green... No, wait. Other side around -- two green, three red, one blue. Which means...
... "Z-energy"? The hell is "Z-energy"?
Have I seen that somewhere -- anywhere -- before? Can't remember. Hold on. Let me check the other notebook --
ZZRRRP
***
...
...
... ow.
> what happened
I... my hand... might've... might have just brushed one of the machine's wires. I think. Fell on the floor, chair and all...
> are you okay
I think... back hurts... heart rate's up... head feels terrible... you know, when I said that thing about knifing the socket again, I didn't mean literally...
... bed sounds nice now I think. Yeah. Bed. Woo.
> wait that is actually a super terrible idea
Yes yes yes I know don't worry. I'll go call for mom and go to the hospital in a second. Just gonna rest my eyes for a bit and then...
...
***
> skip to next morning
... Okay. Not dead. Feeling better. That's good. Liking that. Try and keep that up, me.
> get up
Limbs working. Legs. Hands. Fingers. Yes. No sign of any burns. All lights green. I guess I got away with it again?
> do you have superpowers now
Let's check. Shirt off, look in the mirror -- okay, defs not instantly jacked like Tony Macguire. Arms still noodly. Gut still... noticeable. (Don't get me wrong. I'm not fat. I wouldn't even say I'm pudgy, exactly. I'm just... there's some pudge, okay? Around the midsection. Pudge is a known issue here.)
Try clearing my mind and focusing my will. No sign of telekinesis. Or flight. Or laser eyes.
> can you do the kamehameha wave
"Z-energy"... worth a shot. All right. Do the thing with the hands... focus my will... ka... may... ha...
...
Yeah, no. Not happening. Moving on.
> check the machine
Ooh, good thought. Huh, okay. The lights are all out now. They're set up in a three-by-five grid, by the way, with each row a different color. No sign of green or red lights. Occasionally, the first blue light flickers. It does that sometimes. Don't know if that's just background radiation or one of those crossed wires or what.
> look at clock
Ulp. Enough of this. Better get ready for school.
> but it's saturday
Ha! Where do you think we are? This is Japan, son! We in school every -- single -- day of the motherfucking week! That's right. Free time is for the weak! We eat our tears for breakfast, you feel me? Ha HA!...
... but yeah no seriously it sucks super big-time hardcore. Even if Saturdays are technically just for clubs -- but it's not like those aren't pretty much mandatory anyway. (My parents think I'm lazy 'cause I'm only in two.) Most schools in the country at least get Saturdays off and then have clubs on Sundays. But no, we can't have that here... Society would crumble! Chaos would reign! Won't someone think of the children!
... no, really, I mean it. Think of us. Please.
> you gonna ask shirou what all that noise last night was about
You kidding? Remember what I said about girls and sex and how that wasn't in my wheelhouse? How about we just put people outside my wheelhouse. Conversations. The whole human race in general, really. How's that sound?
> kind of sad tbh
Yeah, okay, let's rein in the emo a bit here. Main thing is, you were right before. It's his house. It's none of my business. Emiya doesn't owe me anything, you know?
> fair
***
> skip forward one day
And now it's Economics class. Bleh. Needs more math and less despair.
> so how did yesterday go
Fine. Same as usual. Robotics Club first, then Tabletop Gaming. Robotics was okay-ish -- I dunno, there've been all these weird politics this year. Something about jockeying for Club President. I've mostly just used it as an excuse to mess around in the lab by myself while people argue. As for Gaming, our usual DM's out of town this week, which means it falls to Other Ichigo instead. He's... okay. He's just one of those gamemasters who thinks it's his job to kill the players however he can. Anyway, we got ambushed by goblins in a dungeon and then got slaughtered by the traps.
> i don't know what that last part means
Then you're normal. Forget I said anything.
***
> skip forward a few hours
Well, I guess the gods of education heard at least part of my complaint. Looks like school's getting called off early today. Not sure why, but hey, I ain't gonna question it.
Got my stuff packed up. Headin' home. Step out of the classroom door...
... step back in the classroom door...
> why
So, um. Rin Tohsaka is coming up the hall. Storming, actually, might be more accurate. It looks like she's angry about something.
> so what
Well, ah... remember back when I mentioned crush singular?
> ah
Look, it's dumb. I know it's dumb. I don't even know her. Like, at all. And everyone has a crush on Rin, anyway. Including some of the girls, I think. She's just, well, hot and smart and cute when she's mad -- which is often. And she's got all this fight and drive and stuff. And her boobs are kinda --
> yeah think i get the picture thanks
So anyway, I can't help but get all sweaty and nervous when she's around, in spite of myself. Honestly just keep hoping I'll just grow out of this and move on at some point. But it's been like this for two or three years now, so no luck yet.
> that long huh
What can I say. My subconscious is a persistent motherfucker. Especially when it comes to goading me with the clearly unobtainable.
Anyway, so I stop and pretend to clean my glasses on my jacket. She stomps by me without a second glance. Did I look weird? I bet I looked weird. Shit.
***
> skip forward one day
So here's something interesting I just heard about today. You know the old Foreigners Cemetery? Apparently there was some kind of gas leak early Saturday morning. Whole place got blowed up real good. I saw pictures online. We're talking about nothing left but a freaking crater. I'm sure they'll fix it up good as new though ha ha no they're totally gonna build some apartments there as soon as they finish clearing out the corpse bits. Bet you anything.
Anyway. I'm bored. And the Brat's home tonight. That makes it a real good time for me not to be.
> the brat?
Teruko. My little sister. We... don't get along. At all.
> explain
Eh, it's pretty simple. She's the popular one, I'm not. You'd think that of the two of us, I'd be the frustrated one. But no. Point is, she's loud, she's obnoxious, and I can just tell she'll find some way to pick a fight tonight if I stick around. So walk? Walk sounds good.
> so no onee-chan fetish huh
Blech. You just know all that shit's coming from a bunch of lonely virgin only-child edgelords online somewhere. Nothing against lonely virgins online, mind you -- hi, pot! I'm kettle! -- but let's face it, some of us wear it better than others.
> also - teruko?
> so teruko tomonaga
Yeah, our parents are big fans of alliteration. Can you tell?
> walk past emiya's house
Sure, why not. Looks like all the lights are off. Guess he decided to call it an early night? -- No, hold on a second. Looks like that's him down the block.
> where is he headed
Dunno. Different direction than me, looks like. Works for me. I hate running into people unexpectedly. It's awkward, you know? Or worse yet, when we're heading in the same direction so it feels like I'm following or stalking them or something, but I'm not, and I'm wondering do I say something even if I don't really want to talk to them or...
> ok ok i get it
> so where are we going
For my part, I wander down to the shopping district. It's way too late for Lain's -- they close early on Mondays -- but I get a solid half-hour in at Sofmap, then I drop by the hardware store. Those places are my porn.
> i thought porn was your porn
Well, yeah, but... I mean -- it's an engineer thing, okay? Or future engineer. I can just spend hours staring at stuff, thinking about the projects I could do with it. Not just electronics, but light bulbs, garden tools, pretty much anything. (Except plumbing. Fuck that, man. That shit is witchcraft.) Not like I don't have a metric ton of stuff I haven't used / projects I haven't gotten around to yet back home, of course, but...
> so you want to be an engineer
I guess, yeah? I mean, I like building stuff. And science, obviously. So why not go with that? Can't really see myself as much of a theorist, though. I prefer --
ZZRRRP
***
> restart: iteration 2, day 1, early night
GAH.
... ow.
... what. Just. What.
> what's going on
I'm... suddenly in my room again. Lying on the floor. Wearing... different clothes, or old clothes, I guess? Head hurts. Get up off the ground. There's Uncle Shin's machine. The notebooks on my desk. My little speaking clock...
> look at clock
... no way. NO WAY.
I go to check my cellphone. But it's not in my pocket like it was five minutes ago -- it's recharging by the door. Pick it up, flip it open -- holy shit.
It's last Friday. The date says it's last Friday. Check the settings -- yeah, the phone's getting the time direct from the cell tower. Holy fuck.
> which means
Could I have just dreamed or hallucinated the last three days? Possible, I guess. But that doesn't feel right -- my dreams generally aren't that detailed. And I can remember everything, nothing seems to be fading. Which means...
... time travel. Holy goddamn shit, time travel. Ha. Ha ha ha HA!
> which is a big deal yeah
Are you kidding?! It's massive! I mean, I don't even know where to start. Let's go with... faster-than-light travel. This could be the secret to FTL. If you bend time, you bend space. That's Einstein for you. And that's just off the top of my head!
Uncle Shin invented a time machine. Holy shit. Holy shit!
But okay, calm down. This is science. Be a scientist about this. One-time weirdness -- no matter how awesome -- doesn't count. You have to be able to repeat it. So let's wait a few days. See if the same thing happens.
***
> skip forward three days
> restart: iteration 3, day 1, early night
Holy shit holy shit it works IT WORKS! And everything over the last few days was exactly the way I remembered! Same lessons at school, same goblin fight at gaming, same news, same everything. This is amazing.
> what are the rules here
Okay, science hat on: the time loop effect appears to last approximately three days, from Friday night right after I got shocked by the detector until Monday at around the same time. (I'll have to get a more exact measure of the end point.) Also, I don't seem to be physically traveling back in time -- just mentally. I drew something in magic marker on the back of my hand before I reset just now. There's no sign of it at present.
> so quantum leap not timecop
Right. Information-only time travel. Still opens up the possibility of FTL communication, at least. Not too shabby.
Okay, one more time around. Let's see if I'll jump back if I'm in a different location other than in town.
***
> skip forward three days
> restart: iteration 4, day 1, early night
Alocality (is that a word?) of restart effect confirmed. This time, I deliberately trekked all the way into the city. Still wound up traveling back to Friday. The loop resets at 10:08 PM on Monday night, giving it a total length of -- wait for it -- seventy-three hours and thirty-seven minutes. (Ooh, symmetrical numbers. Noice.)
Okay, let's try exiting the effect now. The device doesn't really have an "off switch" per se, so I'll just disconnect it from the dry cell battery.
***
> skip forward three days
> restart: iteration 5, day 1, early night
Okay, that didn't work. Let's try disconnecting those crystal things. Maybe it's getting power from those somehow.
***
> skip forward three days
> restart: iteration 6, day 1, early night
Okay. Let's take some pictures and carefully dismantle the machine into its component parts...
***
> skip forward three days
> restart: iteration 7, day 1, early night
Okay, you know what, let's try burning it. Let's give that a whirl.
***
> skip forward three days
> restart: iteration 8, day 1, early night
... shit.
> seems like it's not the machine then
Gee, you think? Looks like I'm stuck in a self-perpetuating Murray loop.
> murray loop?
As in Bill Murray. As in the movie Groundhog Day. You have to remember that. We saw it on the flight to Hawaii?
> asshole weatherman gets stuck repeating the same day over and over again
That's the one. I guess I should probably be naming the loop after the film's director or the writer or whoever. But I have no idea who those people are.
> you and hollywood both
> so how does that movie end
Um. He finally has one perfect day and sleeps with the hot producer lady. That breaks the loop.
> who knew the spacetime continuum was so big on personal growth
Right? I guess the idea there is that there's some kind of deity or supernatural power or something in the background that curses the guy to make him learn a lesson. What the hell am I supposed to learn, then? I thought I was doing okay at the whole don't-be-an-offensive-asshole thing.
... am I supposed to seduce Rin to get out of this? That's... um. A thought. A terrifying, hilariously unlikely thought.
> maybe table that one for now
Yeah, let's do that.
> so what does that leave
I guess my only real clue is Uncle Shin's notebooks. Maybe there's some kind of documentation or a secret hint or something in there.
> you said something about cyphers
Yeah. There's these big chunks of nonsense text throughout the notes that look like they're encrypted. Guess Shin felt paranoid about someone stealing his discoveries or something? Seems I'll have to try and break his code. Not to mention, I should probably reread everything that isn't encrypted super-carefully.
> including the porn?
(sigh) Yes, including the porn. Even... bluh... the donkey story...
***
> skip forward to: iteration 8, day 3
Tried telling family about the situation. It didn't help.
***
> skip forward to: iteration 8, day 4, early night
GRAAAAAAAAAAAAGHBYTIVSE.
> not going well huh
No! No, it is not! There wasn't anything anywhere, so now I'm trying to crack the encrypted sections and it's Just. Not. Working.
> what about the porn
THERE'S NOTHING IN THE PORN IT'S JUST PORN. And now it's in my brain and it was all for nothing and blaaaargh!
> did you look online
Of course I looked online! I learned about frequency analysis and brute force techniques and all of that. I even asked for help in a few forums. Nothing! All people could tell me is that it doesn't look like a simple substitution or Vigenère cipher, whatever that means. And to make matters worse, I'm gonna lose all my work just as soon as --
ZZRRRP
***
> restart: iteration 9, day 1, early night
AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHPH!!!!!
> chill dude
HOW am I supposed to CHILL?! I'm dealing with this completely unknown phenomenon with NO CLUES. I have NO IDEA what I'm supposed to frigging do! WORST. GROUNDHOG DAY. SEQUEL. EVER.
> look out window
I'll compromise and put my head against it to try and cool it down. This is insane. It makes absolutely no sense. It's like I'm stuck in some game without a cheat code or a walkthrough or a hint system or anything, and I can't even turn off the computer and walk away. And why me? Is this just one of those cautionary "punish the scientist for playing in the domain of the gods" scenarios? Am I just supposed to stay like this until I go completely crazy?! Or --
... huh. Is that woman blonde?
... did that blonde woman just jump over a building?
Rated M for frequent profanity.
Description:
An eccentric nerd finds himself stuck in a time loop after something weird happens down the street at Shirou Emiya's place. Tom Tomonaga doesn't know why he's repeating the same two weeks over and over again. He doesn't know anything about magic, the secret world of mages, or the Grail War. But he'll have to learn if he wants to escape back into a world that makes sense, all while arguing with a pushy voice inside of his own head and discovering how many ways there are to die (spoiler: they all suck.) Also features science in an absurd universe, frequent psychological trauma, and -- oh yeah -- the end of the world.
So on the suggestion of one of my readers on a different site, I'm going to try posting this story directly to this forum. This is a new thing for me, so we'll see how it goes. I'll try and post a new chapter daily until I'm caught up with what I've posted elsewhere. Anyone who wants to read ahead can head over to the fanfiction.net or wattpad versions of the story.
A few things I should mention before I get started:
- Credit where it's due -- I
rip offpillageborrow a lot of characterization and jokes from BlazingAzureCrow's fantastic Unlimited Blade Works Abridged series over on YouTube (which I would highly recommend to everyone.) So certain characters may not be exactly as you know them. That said, I'm mostly aiming to write them as their canon selves with slightly wackier/more morbid senses of humor. - The protagonist is an original character. But hopefully a tolerable one.
- The story is kinda-sorta quest style? I'm not posting it in that forum, though, since I'm playing around with the format, and I don't want to be bound to a strict user vote. Here's how it works: the Prompt can hear you and will pass on any suggestions you make to the main character. But Tom won't always listen to you or follow directions. A silent protagonist, he is not.
Part I.1
> be: tomasu tomonaga
Wow, not a great start! My condolences. There's just two things you need to know about me:
1. When I was three or four, I tried sticking a knife into an electrical outlet just to see how it worked. No idea how I survived. Got blown halfway across the room. I don't remember this myself, of course. I just heard it secondhand from my mom years after the fact. She said she had to rush in and stop me from trying it again.
2. I'm a high schooler, it's Friday night, and I'm sitting in my room, trying to figure out how calculus works on my own. Not for a class. Oh, no. This is for fun. Kind of.
And that's it. That's me in a nutshell. Well, okay -- that, and I've clearly spent enough time reading imageboard stories and playing old text adventure games that it's infected my inner monologue. But that's more of a side detail.
You sure you don't want to choose again? Wouldn't blame you. Clearly, mistakes have been made.
> more background plz
Fine, fine, if you insist. I'm sixteen, I live in Misaki Town outside Fuyuki, I'm in class 2B of Homurahara Academy, blah blah blah exposition exposition. Look, I'm boring. I know it, you know it. Don't ask me about me, ask me about something interesting.
> so whatcha doing / why calculus
There we go, was that so hard? I'm trying to figure out calculus because these notes I got from my uncle seem to be using it. Seems to be calculating some kind of acceleration or change in potential, I guess? He rarely bothered defining his variables. It's pretty annoying! By which I mean maddening!
> talk about uncle
Oh, Uncle Shin? My dad's older brother. He passed away about a year ago. I inherited a bunch of stuff from him -- well, I say "inherited," but I really just grabbed it out of the trash after my mom threw it out. It's not like anyone else wanted it.
So Uncle Shin was a physicist and a tinkerer. Proudly called himself a "crackpot" -- had a plaque on his wall and everything. (Saved that too. It's on my bookshelf, right between Dune and my TARDIS cookie jar.) Taught courses at the local community college, but his big passion was in these weird sensors and transmitters he put together out of whatever junk he could find. Really crazy stuff. Couldn't even begin to describe the wiring on this board in front of me, for instance. He seems to have deliberately crossed wires two or three times. They're even soldered together...
Anyway, his big theory was that using these sensors of his, he could detect this spectrum that's completely unknown to modern physics. Not anything electromagnetic -- some kind of dark energy that no one else has ever noticed. He said that it could only be found in Fuyuki, though. For whatever reason, his sensors worked in this particular town and nowhere else.
So, anyway, yeah. That's my inheritance: a plaque, a bunch of dusty old machines, and a pile of handwritten notebooks I rescued from the incinerator. Still probably the most interesting thing in my life.
> how did uncle shin die
Cancer. Look, can we not? I don't like thinking about it.
> so why are you looking at this now
Because the notes say to. Okay, in more detail: this particular section I'm looking at seems to involve predicting some kind of... surge, I guess? At the end of it, there's a range of dates circled in red. Which includes this week.
So -- in honor of Uncle Shin, I've set up the one sensor package I think I have all of and powered it up. Got the little scavenged radio dish sticking out of my window. Been waiting for three days now to see if any of the little lights come on. Once more sticking the knife into the electric socket that is the universe. This one's for you, Shin.
> are you trying to get superpowers
... maybe. Or -- I don't know. Minovsky particles. Faster-than-light travel. Flying car. I'd settle for a hoverboard, okay? It's a basic rule of science fiction: never ignore the crackpot inventor. Even if he can't reproduce his results. And a bunch of his notes are mixed in with porn.
> porn?
Yeah, of course you'd ask about that. I'm... just gonna say it. For lack of better words... Uncle Shin was gay. He was really, extremely gay. And he had an active imagination, so I just have to grit my teeth and try to skip those parts and sometimes there's these little, um, diagrams and...
> ok never mind
There's a reason I haven't been working too hard on decoding the cyphered parts, you know?
> are you gay?
I don't... think so? I mean, my crushes -- well, mainly crush singular -- have all been girls. But I guess I can't count it out and you know what can we really change the subject now please? I'd like that very much thanks.
> ok
Look, I'm a nerd, okay? I have accepted that about myself. Sex and sexuality in general, girls, dating -- that ain't my comfort zone, you know? That is in fact the exact opposite of my comfort zone. At least outside of my browser history. (Which is clean. Always. Hey, I live in a house with two parents and a sister. I know how to cover myself, aight? Aight.)
... Huh. That's weird.
> what is
> is it the machine
No, it's one of the houses way down the street. I think a firework just went off in the back yard or something? ... is that Shirou's place?
> describe shirou
Shirou Emiya? I don't really know him that well. We're in the same year but in separate classes. This one time back in middle school, he stopped these other two kids from beating me up. Always kind of felt like I owe him for that...
> he lives down the street and you don't know him
Do I sound like the type who gets out much? His house is pretty big. I guess his dad was rich or something, but he passed away a long time ago. Mom once told me the head of the local Yakuza keeps an eye on him -- which sounds kind of metal, up until you realize all they really do around here is run mahjong parlors and telemarketing scams.
Okay, now I can hear a bunch of shouting. Some different voices. Something about... a bowl? Then a big flash of red light. Maybe he just has a DVD on really loud or something?...
> probably none of your business
Yeah, I guess...
Oh. Oh wow. Machine. Machine is weird now.
> describe machine
Other than the little radar dish, this one is about the size of... I don't know, an answering machine or a small cable box? It's not that big. That's why I took it. Half of it's a bunch of homemade circuit boards and the other's... well. He seems to have wired in a bunch of crystals of some sort? Plus there's the dry cell battery I have it hooked up to and a power switch and the lights, which are supposed to tell you what kind of energy is being picked up...
Okay, okay. I've seen a chart for this. I push my glasses back and flip through the old notebooks. Here it is... so that's one blue, three red, two green... No, wait. Other side around -- two green, three red, one blue. Which means...
... "Z-energy"? The hell is "Z-energy"?
Have I seen that somewhere -- anywhere -- before? Can't remember. Hold on. Let me check the other notebook --
ZZRRRP
***
...
...
... ow.
> what happened
I... my hand... might've... might have just brushed one of the machine's wires. I think. Fell on the floor, chair and all...
> are you okay
I think... back hurts... heart rate's up... head feels terrible... you know, when I said that thing about knifing the socket again, I didn't mean literally...
... bed sounds nice now I think. Yeah. Bed. Woo.
> wait that is actually a super terrible idea
Yes yes yes I know don't worry. I'll go call for mom and go to the hospital in a second. Just gonna rest my eyes for a bit and then...
...
***
> skip to next morning
... Okay. Not dead. Feeling better. That's good. Liking that. Try and keep that up, me.
> get up
Limbs working. Legs. Hands. Fingers. Yes. No sign of any burns. All lights green. I guess I got away with it again?
> do you have superpowers now
Let's check. Shirt off, look in the mirror -- okay, defs not instantly jacked like Tony Macguire. Arms still noodly. Gut still... noticeable. (Don't get me wrong. I'm not fat. I wouldn't even say I'm pudgy, exactly. I'm just... there's some pudge, okay? Around the midsection. Pudge is a known issue here.)
Try clearing my mind and focusing my will. No sign of telekinesis. Or flight. Or laser eyes.
> can you do the kamehameha wave
"Z-energy"... worth a shot. All right. Do the thing with the hands... focus my will... ka... may... ha...
...
Yeah, no. Not happening. Moving on.
> check the machine
Ooh, good thought. Huh, okay. The lights are all out now. They're set up in a three-by-five grid, by the way, with each row a different color. No sign of green or red lights. Occasionally, the first blue light flickers. It does that sometimes. Don't know if that's just background radiation or one of those crossed wires or what.
> look at clock
Ulp. Enough of this. Better get ready for school.
> but it's saturday
Ha! Where do you think we are? This is Japan, son! We in school every -- single -- day of the motherfucking week! That's right. Free time is for the weak! We eat our tears for breakfast, you feel me? Ha HA!...
... but yeah no seriously it sucks super big-time hardcore. Even if Saturdays are technically just for clubs -- but it's not like those aren't pretty much mandatory anyway. (My parents think I'm lazy 'cause I'm only in two.) Most schools in the country at least get Saturdays off and then have clubs on Sundays. But no, we can't have that here... Society would crumble! Chaos would reign! Won't someone think of the children!
... no, really, I mean it. Think of us. Please.
> you gonna ask shirou what all that noise last night was about
You kidding? Remember what I said about girls and sex and how that wasn't in my wheelhouse? How about we just put people outside my wheelhouse. Conversations. The whole human race in general, really. How's that sound?
> kind of sad tbh
Yeah, okay, let's rein in the emo a bit here. Main thing is, you were right before. It's his house. It's none of my business. Emiya doesn't owe me anything, you know?
> fair
***
> skip forward one day
And now it's Economics class. Bleh. Needs more math and less despair.
> so how did yesterday go
Fine. Same as usual. Robotics Club first, then Tabletop Gaming. Robotics was okay-ish -- I dunno, there've been all these weird politics this year. Something about jockeying for Club President. I've mostly just used it as an excuse to mess around in the lab by myself while people argue. As for Gaming, our usual DM's out of town this week, which means it falls to Other Ichigo instead. He's... okay. He's just one of those gamemasters who thinks it's his job to kill the players however he can. Anyway, we got ambushed by goblins in a dungeon and then got slaughtered by the traps.
> i don't know what that last part means
Then you're normal. Forget I said anything.
***
> skip forward a few hours
Well, I guess the gods of education heard at least part of my complaint. Looks like school's getting called off early today. Not sure why, but hey, I ain't gonna question it.
Got my stuff packed up. Headin' home. Step out of the classroom door...
... step back in the classroom door...
> why
So, um. Rin Tohsaka is coming up the hall. Storming, actually, might be more accurate. It looks like she's angry about something.
> so what
Well, ah... remember back when I mentioned crush singular?
> ah
Look, it's dumb. I know it's dumb. I don't even know her. Like, at all. And everyone has a crush on Rin, anyway. Including some of the girls, I think. She's just, well, hot and smart and cute when she's mad -- which is often. And she's got all this fight and drive and stuff. And her boobs are kinda --
> yeah think i get the picture thanks
So anyway, I can't help but get all sweaty and nervous when she's around, in spite of myself. Honestly just keep hoping I'll just grow out of this and move on at some point. But it's been like this for two or three years now, so no luck yet.
> that long huh
What can I say. My subconscious is a persistent motherfucker. Especially when it comes to goading me with the clearly unobtainable.
Anyway, so I stop and pretend to clean my glasses on my jacket. She stomps by me without a second glance. Did I look weird? I bet I looked weird. Shit.
***
> skip forward one day
So here's something interesting I just heard about today. You know the old Foreigners Cemetery? Apparently there was some kind of gas leak early Saturday morning. Whole place got blowed up real good. I saw pictures online. We're talking about nothing left but a freaking crater. I'm sure they'll fix it up good as new though ha ha no they're totally gonna build some apartments there as soon as they finish clearing out the corpse bits. Bet you anything.
Anyway. I'm bored. And the Brat's home tonight. That makes it a real good time for me not to be.
> the brat?
Teruko. My little sister. We... don't get along. At all.
> explain
Eh, it's pretty simple. She's the popular one, I'm not. You'd think that of the two of us, I'd be the frustrated one. But no. Point is, she's loud, she's obnoxious, and I can just tell she'll find some way to pick a fight tonight if I stick around. So walk? Walk sounds good.
> so no onee-chan fetish huh
Blech. You just know all that shit's coming from a bunch of lonely virgin only-child edgelords online somewhere. Nothing against lonely virgins online, mind you -- hi, pot! I'm kettle! -- but let's face it, some of us wear it better than others.
> also - teruko?
> so teruko tomonaga
Yeah, our parents are big fans of alliteration. Can you tell?
> walk past emiya's house
Sure, why not. Looks like all the lights are off. Guess he decided to call it an early night? -- No, hold on a second. Looks like that's him down the block.
> where is he headed
Dunno. Different direction than me, looks like. Works for me. I hate running into people unexpectedly. It's awkward, you know? Or worse yet, when we're heading in the same direction so it feels like I'm following or stalking them or something, but I'm not, and I'm wondering do I say something even if I don't really want to talk to them or...
> ok ok i get it
> so where are we going
For my part, I wander down to the shopping district. It's way too late for Lain's -- they close early on Mondays -- but I get a solid half-hour in at Sofmap, then I drop by the hardware store. Those places are my porn.
> i thought porn was your porn
Well, yeah, but... I mean -- it's an engineer thing, okay? Or future engineer. I can just spend hours staring at stuff, thinking about the projects I could do with it. Not just electronics, but light bulbs, garden tools, pretty much anything. (Except plumbing. Fuck that, man. That shit is witchcraft.) Not like I don't have a metric ton of stuff I haven't used / projects I haven't gotten around to yet back home, of course, but...
> so you want to be an engineer
I guess, yeah? I mean, I like building stuff. And science, obviously. So why not go with that? Can't really see myself as much of a theorist, though. I prefer --
ZZRRRP
***
> restart: iteration 2, day 1, early night
GAH.
... ow.
... what. Just. What.
> what's going on
I'm... suddenly in my room again. Lying on the floor. Wearing... different clothes, or old clothes, I guess? Head hurts. Get up off the ground. There's Uncle Shin's machine. The notebooks on my desk. My little speaking clock...
> look at clock
... no way. NO WAY.
I go to check my cellphone. But it's not in my pocket like it was five minutes ago -- it's recharging by the door. Pick it up, flip it open -- holy shit.
It's last Friday. The date says it's last Friday. Check the settings -- yeah, the phone's getting the time direct from the cell tower. Holy fuck.
> which means
Could I have just dreamed or hallucinated the last three days? Possible, I guess. But that doesn't feel right -- my dreams generally aren't that detailed. And I can remember everything, nothing seems to be fading. Which means...
... time travel. Holy goddamn shit, time travel. Ha. Ha ha ha HA!
> which is a big deal yeah
Are you kidding?! It's massive! I mean, I don't even know where to start. Let's go with... faster-than-light travel. This could be the secret to FTL. If you bend time, you bend space. That's Einstein for you. And that's just off the top of my head!
Uncle Shin invented a time machine. Holy shit. Holy shit!
But okay, calm down. This is science. Be a scientist about this. One-time weirdness -- no matter how awesome -- doesn't count. You have to be able to repeat it. So let's wait a few days. See if the same thing happens.
***
> skip forward three days
> restart: iteration 3, day 1, early night
Holy shit holy shit it works IT WORKS! And everything over the last few days was exactly the way I remembered! Same lessons at school, same goblin fight at gaming, same news, same everything. This is amazing.
> what are the rules here
Okay, science hat on: the time loop effect appears to last approximately three days, from Friday night right after I got shocked by the detector until Monday at around the same time. (I'll have to get a more exact measure of the end point.) Also, I don't seem to be physically traveling back in time -- just mentally. I drew something in magic marker on the back of my hand before I reset just now. There's no sign of it at present.
> so quantum leap not timecop
Right. Information-only time travel. Still opens up the possibility of FTL communication, at least. Not too shabby.
Okay, one more time around. Let's see if I'll jump back if I'm in a different location other than in town.
***
> skip forward three days
> restart: iteration 4, day 1, early night
Alocality (is that a word?) of restart effect confirmed. This time, I deliberately trekked all the way into the city. Still wound up traveling back to Friday. The loop resets at 10:08 PM on Monday night, giving it a total length of -- wait for it -- seventy-three hours and thirty-seven minutes. (Ooh, symmetrical numbers. Noice.)
Okay, let's try exiting the effect now. The device doesn't really have an "off switch" per se, so I'll just disconnect it from the dry cell battery.
***
> skip forward three days
> restart: iteration 5, day 1, early night
Okay, that didn't work. Let's try disconnecting those crystal things. Maybe it's getting power from those somehow.
***
> skip forward three days
> restart: iteration 6, day 1, early night
Okay. Let's take some pictures and carefully dismantle the machine into its component parts...
***
> skip forward three days
> restart: iteration 7, day 1, early night
Okay, you know what, let's try burning it. Let's give that a whirl.
***
> skip forward three days
> restart: iteration 8, day 1, early night
... shit.
> seems like it's not the machine then
Gee, you think? Looks like I'm stuck in a self-perpetuating Murray loop.
> murray loop?
As in Bill Murray. As in the movie Groundhog Day. You have to remember that. We saw it on the flight to Hawaii?
> asshole weatherman gets stuck repeating the same day over and over again
That's the one. I guess I should probably be naming the loop after the film's director or the writer or whoever. But I have no idea who those people are.
> you and hollywood both
> so how does that movie end
Um. He finally has one perfect day and sleeps with the hot producer lady. That breaks the loop.
> who knew the spacetime continuum was so big on personal growth
Right? I guess the idea there is that there's some kind of deity or supernatural power or something in the background that curses the guy to make him learn a lesson. What the hell am I supposed to learn, then? I thought I was doing okay at the whole don't-be-an-offensive-asshole thing.
... am I supposed to seduce Rin to get out of this? That's... um. A thought. A terrifying, hilariously unlikely thought.
> maybe table that one for now
Yeah, let's do that.
> so what does that leave
I guess my only real clue is Uncle Shin's notebooks. Maybe there's some kind of documentation or a secret hint or something in there.
> you said something about cyphers
Yeah. There's these big chunks of nonsense text throughout the notes that look like they're encrypted. Guess Shin felt paranoid about someone stealing his discoveries or something? Seems I'll have to try and break his code. Not to mention, I should probably reread everything that isn't encrypted super-carefully.
> including the porn?
(sigh) Yes, including the porn. Even... bluh... the donkey story...
***
> skip forward to: iteration 8, day 3
Tried telling family about the situation. It didn't help.
***
> skip forward to: iteration 8, day 4, early night
GRAAAAAAAAAAAAGHBYTIVSE.
> not going well huh
No! No, it is not! There wasn't anything anywhere, so now I'm trying to crack the encrypted sections and it's Just. Not. Working.
> what about the porn
THERE'S NOTHING IN THE PORN IT'S JUST PORN. And now it's in my brain and it was all for nothing and blaaaargh!
> did you look online
Of course I looked online! I learned about frequency analysis and brute force techniques and all of that. I even asked for help in a few forums. Nothing! All people could tell me is that it doesn't look like a simple substitution or Vigenère cipher, whatever that means. And to make matters worse, I'm gonna lose all my work just as soon as --
ZZRRRP
***
> restart: iteration 9, day 1, early night
AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHPH!!!!!
> chill dude
HOW am I supposed to CHILL?! I'm dealing with this completely unknown phenomenon with NO CLUES. I have NO IDEA what I'm supposed to frigging do! WORST. GROUNDHOG DAY. SEQUEL. EVER.
> look out window
I'll compromise and put my head against it to try and cool it down. This is insane. It makes absolutely no sense. It's like I'm stuck in some game without a cheat code or a walkthrough or a hint system or anything, and I can't even turn off the computer and walk away. And why me? Is this just one of those cautionary "punish the scientist for playing in the domain of the gods" scenarios? Am I just supposed to stay like this until I go completely crazy?! Or --
... huh. Is that woman blonde?
... did that blonde woman just jump over a building?
Last edited:
i.2
- Location
- USA
Part I.2
> continue: iteration 9, day 1, early night
> run out the back door
On it! Grab my coat, jump the back railing -- don't quite make it, graze my leg, ouch -- then run up the back alley. I stop short when I see Emiya running around the corner of his house in the same direction.
> take cover
I jump behind a nearby lamp post and peer past him. At the very end of the alleyway, there's that blonde woman. She's dressed in some kind of... armored blue dress? She's fighting this guy wearing a red longcoat. And beyond them -- shit, is that Rin?!
> keep your distance
Anyway, Shirou shouts something. The woman in blue stops attacking and shouts something back. (Another weird thing -- the way she was fighting, it seemed like she had some kind of weapon, but I can't actually see anything in her hands? Like she's a... mime or something, I guess?)
> or a force wielder
You can use the Force like that? Well, guess there's no reason you couldn't... anyway, looks like everyone's heading into Emiya's house. Except for the red dude, who just straight-up fucking vanishes into thin air! How the shit does that work?! Some kind of active camouflage? Military-grade tech?
> keep an eye on things
I run back to the house long enough to grab my dad's binoculars. (Dammit, why couldn't he have gotten the night vision model like I suggested?) About an hour passes before the lights in Emiya's house turn off. He, Rin, and the blonde woman -- wearing this big yellow poncho over her armor -- go out into the street.
***
> stay on them
They walk across the whole dang city to the church on the hill. Never been there before myself, just seen it at a distance. Shirou and Rin go inside. The blonde woman stays out by the front gate. I sneak around the side and hide in some trees across the road from the cemetery.
> is that a good idea
I don't know! I'm just playing it by ear here. Anyway, they're in there for about a half hour. Shirou and Rin come out. They talk to the blonde for a moment, then they start walking down the street towards me.
> keep very still
No doy! I try my best not to breathe as they pass by me. They stop again a little further down the hill. Still can't quite hear what they're saying... that red jacket guy appears out of nowhere behind Rin. I guess he's just been hanging around this whole time?
The fog suddenly picks up. Red guy starts shouting and vanishes again.
> look up the street
Okay, item one: there's this tiny little white girl in a purple dress standing in the fog. And I mean white -- we're talking, like, Rei-Ayanami-style albino. And next to her is this guy who -- well. He's the Incredible fucking Hulk. That's what it comes down to. Gunmetal gray skin. Has to be around three meters tall. Just packed with muscle, like some kind of steroid nightmare. Long hair. Wears nothing except this sort of iron miniskirt.
> ... miniskirt?
Kilt. Kilt's a better word for it. I should've said kilt. Armored kilt, in fact. Covered with iron plates.
And now the little girl's talking... Rin is saying something... okay, what the hell is up with this. I'm sitting in between them / closer to both of them than they are to each other, and yet I still can't hear what they're saying. But they just seem to be talking to each other normally. Something's going on here.
> poor audio editing strikes again
Ha, ha. Seriously, though... maybe some kind of directed white noise generator? Is that even possible? How would that even... oh hooooollly shit.
> what
They're fighting now. Blondie and the Hulk. They are -- shit! There's fucking explosions, and -- oh god oh shit oh god!
> keep cool man keep cool
They're behind me now, in the park down the slope. I just stay and cringe where I am crouched down within this little mini-copse formed by three trees. They're moving so fast I almost can't keep track. Every blow feels like a damn bomb going off. Macho Man is wielding this gigantic fuckoff stone club thing. Blondie seems to be keeping up with him somehow. Blocking him with... okay, that has to be a sword of some kind, right? The way she's holding it, I can't see it being an axe or whatever. It's probably a Western-style sword, too. Her grip seems wrong for a katana or an odachi.
> look at you pretending like you know stuff
Right? Okay -- she's leading him back up the slope, across the street into the cemetery. I raise the binoculars again. All I can see is motion blurs, though, as she dodges and weaves through the tombstones. Captain Caveman chases after her, knocking graves out of the way like they're nothing --
That's when I hear this kind of whistling sound. I look up to see something big and heavy hurling through the air straight towards me -- before I can react, I hear the trees splinter like twigs and --
***
> restart: iteration 10, day 1, early night
... fuck. Did I... did I just die?
In my room flat on my back again. I think I did. I just... holy shit. I guess that proves it. A game over just resets the loop again. Death is no escape. That's... both kind of comforting and completely horrifying at the same time.
> at least you're not dead dead tho
I guess. Just... wow. Fuck.
> are you gonna go back
Yeah, yeah, just give me a second to process, okay? Fucking hell...
***
> skip forward
So this time, I go to the church ahead of them and pick out a vantage point further up the hill from the cemetery. Unfortunately, my choice sucks. I can't see shit over the tree line, even with the binoculars. I can hear the battle when it starts, though. Maybe it's not a bad thing keeping my distance from that shitstorm, all things considered...
Okay, they're in the graveyard now... some other noise coming from the woods behind me somewhere... okay, now what's that? Some kind of blue light overhead. Like a comet or a --
SHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT!
> what
SOMEONE JUST NUKED THE GRAVEYARD. A FUCKING NUKE. IN JAPAN. HOLY SHITTING FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT!!!
Oh god... I'm not inside the blast radius. Must be a tactical or pocket nuke or something. I was looking right at it -- fuck, I'm amazed my eyes weren't burned right out of their sockets. And the radiation... I don't even want to think about it right now...
Blast is clearing up... all that's left of the graveyard is a familiar-looking crater. That's what happened to the cemetery?! What the fuck are these people?!
***
> skip to: iteration 10, day 3, afternoon
So I'm not dead of radiation poisoning. That's the good news. No sign of above-background levels on me or my clothes at all -- I checked myself over with my Geiger counter when I got back. So maybe that was some kind of thermobaric bomb or fuel-air explosive, I guess? I didn't smell any gasoline...
> you have a geiger counter
Came across a cheap one on eBay and got curious. Anyway, skipped clubs yesterday and staked out Emiya's place from my room. Saw him and the blonde woman leave at one point, so they obviously survived the explosion too.
So what does this add up to? Emiya and Rin, running around with these... mutant genetic supersoldiers? Why? How? Where did they even come from?
> you could just try asking them you know
Ha! You're funny.
> so what now
It's after school. I'm waiting for Rin to go stomping by the classroom door. This time, I'm gonna follow her.
> taking up your stalking game to a whole new level huh
Shut up. It's not like that. This is my one lead, okay?
Right. Here she comes. I wait behind the door until she stomps by, count to three, and follow.
I manage to stay out of sight as she sweeps the third floor and checks the roof. Seems like she's looking for someone. The school empties out in the meantime.
She finally stops short on the landing on the staircase down to the second floor. I can hear her talking to someone. Well, more like yelling.
> what's she saying
Yeah, see, there is definitely something going on with the sound here. I am right down the dang hall from them, but it's like my ears are full of gauze or something. I can't make out any of the words. I can pick up on tone -- I can tell that Rin is pissed, for instance. I can even recognize Emiya's voice nervously talking back to her from further down the stairwell. But none of the actual content registers.
Then I hear this distinct pew noise.
> pew noise
I don't know how else to describe it. It's also kind of a zap, kind of a blam... a sorta sci-fi lasery sound, you know?
Anyway, I hear Shirou yell something. Rin takes off running down the stairs.
> weren't they working together before
I guess? Maybe something changed? I rush down the hall and peek down the stairwell. And there's Rin standing below, her finger pointed down the hall, these glowing teal lines running down her arm. Three more pew sounds. Three black bolts rocket out of her hand down the hall.
What.
Naturally, that's right about when she looks up and sees me, her eyes narrowed.
> think fast
I... can't. I totally freeze up. Like a rabbit stuck in the headlights.
She makes an annoyed grunt and raises her free hand in my direction. "Etwas," she says, making this odd wavey gesture in the air. "Rückwärts --"
***
> restart: iteration 11, day 1, early night
Wait. I'm -- back in my room? What just...
... did Rin just kill me?
What the hell is going on?
***
> skip forward
So I get out my bike -- haven't used it in so long I have to pump up the tires first -- and get over to the church while they're still talking at Emiya's place. That gives me time to find the perfect vantage point up the hill. Full view of the church, the road, and the graveyard. Just gotta wait for them to show up.
Unfortunately, that gives me plenty of time to stew over what I just saw. I mean -- directed energy weapons? Does Rin have some kind of a cyberarm? Is she a robot? Or an alien? Are they all aliens?!
Bluh. Too many questions, not enough data. HURRY UP AND MAKE SENSE AGAIN, UNIVERSE.
> kinda doubt it's that easy
I get that, yeah.
> so listen
> while we have a moment here
> people have been asking about you
Huh? What people?
> just people
> they want to know what your deal is
... I'm... what?
> why do you talk to another voice in your head
... this is me. This is the way I think. What are you looking for here?
> so what am i supposed to be
You? You're... well, you're the prompt. Like in a text adventure game? The place where the player types in, like, "GO SOUTH" or "EXAMINE MAILBOX" or whatever?
> but it's not like i control you
True. I guess it's more about the interactive component?
> what does that mean though
I dunno. You're my subconscious? My internal observer? The imaginary friend I made up to talk to because I'm sad and lonely? -- Fuck it, look. I'm really not in the mood for navel-gazing right now. This is just a thing I do, all right? Why are we even talking about this? You're literally me. You know all this already.
> you get that this isn't normal though right
Says the one talking about nonexistent "people."
> eh
> touché i guess
What, do you and the other figments of my imagination have a book club or something? -- Anyway, shush. Here they come.
The blonde stays outside the front gate. I watch through the binoculars as Rin leads Shirou into the church. (Should I feel jealous about that? I think I might feel jealous about that. No, shut up. Focus.)
"Hey, kid," someone behind me says.
> welp
I slowly turn around. The guy in the red jacket is standing there, his arms folded. Brown skin. White hair that sticks straight up. Some kind of lightweight composite armor beneath his coat. Give him a giant sword or a gunblade and he'd be a Final Fantasy character made flesh. "You suck at hiding," he says gruffly.
"... sorry?" I squeak.
"So how much did you see?" He sounds bored.
"See?" I weakly try to hide the binoculars behind my back. "Why would I see? I mean, what would I. What's there to --"
He sighs. "Yeah, I'm just gonna assume that means everything. This is what I get for putting things off. Should've just taken care of you back at the house..."
"The... house?" He spotted me back at Emiya's place? But -- how? I'd barely even glanced that way when I rode past on my bike...
"The house," he agrees. "You're out of your league, kid. Just forget about it. In fact -- let's make sure you do."
He reaches out and flicks me on the forehead with a single finger. My ears pop. Everything goes black.
***
AUTHOR'S NOTES
In case anyone has trouble keeping up as the narrative jumps around in time, here's a brief outline of the time loop as it currently stands:
- Day 1 / Friday: loop begins at night.
- Day 2 / Saturday: school clubs meet.
- Day 3 / Sunday: school day.
- Day 4 / Monday: school day. Loop resets late at night.
For those familiar with the visual novel, this corresponds to Days 3 through 6 of the game's timeline.
> continue: iteration 9, day 1, early night
> run out the back door
On it! Grab my coat, jump the back railing -- don't quite make it, graze my leg, ouch -- then run up the back alley. I stop short when I see Emiya running around the corner of his house in the same direction.
> take cover
I jump behind a nearby lamp post and peer past him. At the very end of the alleyway, there's that blonde woman. She's dressed in some kind of... armored blue dress? She's fighting this guy wearing a red longcoat. And beyond them -- shit, is that Rin?!
> keep your distance
Anyway, Shirou shouts something. The woman in blue stops attacking and shouts something back. (Another weird thing -- the way she was fighting, it seemed like she had some kind of weapon, but I can't actually see anything in her hands? Like she's a... mime or something, I guess?)
> or a force wielder
You can use the Force like that? Well, guess there's no reason you couldn't... anyway, looks like everyone's heading into Emiya's house. Except for the red dude, who just straight-up fucking vanishes into thin air! How the shit does that work?! Some kind of active camouflage? Military-grade tech?
> keep an eye on things
I run back to the house long enough to grab my dad's binoculars. (Dammit, why couldn't he have gotten the night vision model like I suggested?) About an hour passes before the lights in Emiya's house turn off. He, Rin, and the blonde woman -- wearing this big yellow poncho over her armor -- go out into the street.
***
> stay on them
They walk across the whole dang city to the church on the hill. Never been there before myself, just seen it at a distance. Shirou and Rin go inside. The blonde woman stays out by the front gate. I sneak around the side and hide in some trees across the road from the cemetery.
> is that a good idea
I don't know! I'm just playing it by ear here. Anyway, they're in there for about a half hour. Shirou and Rin come out. They talk to the blonde for a moment, then they start walking down the street towards me.
> keep very still
No doy! I try my best not to breathe as they pass by me. They stop again a little further down the hill. Still can't quite hear what they're saying... that red jacket guy appears out of nowhere behind Rin. I guess he's just been hanging around this whole time?
The fog suddenly picks up. Red guy starts shouting and vanishes again.
> look up the street
Okay, item one: there's this tiny little white girl in a purple dress standing in the fog. And I mean white -- we're talking, like, Rei-Ayanami-style albino. And next to her is this guy who -- well. He's the Incredible fucking Hulk. That's what it comes down to. Gunmetal gray skin. Has to be around three meters tall. Just packed with muscle, like some kind of steroid nightmare. Long hair. Wears nothing except this sort of iron miniskirt.
> ... miniskirt?
Kilt. Kilt's a better word for it. I should've said kilt. Armored kilt, in fact. Covered with iron plates.
And now the little girl's talking... Rin is saying something... okay, what the hell is up with this. I'm sitting in between them / closer to both of them than they are to each other, and yet I still can't hear what they're saying. But they just seem to be talking to each other normally. Something's going on here.
> poor audio editing strikes again
Ha, ha. Seriously, though... maybe some kind of directed white noise generator? Is that even possible? How would that even... oh hooooollly shit.
> what
They're fighting now. Blondie and the Hulk. They are -- shit! There's fucking explosions, and -- oh god oh shit oh god!
> keep cool man keep cool
They're behind me now, in the park down the slope. I just stay and cringe where I am crouched down within this little mini-copse formed by three trees. They're moving so fast I almost can't keep track. Every blow feels like a damn bomb going off. Macho Man is wielding this gigantic fuckoff stone club thing. Blondie seems to be keeping up with him somehow. Blocking him with... okay, that has to be a sword of some kind, right? The way she's holding it, I can't see it being an axe or whatever. It's probably a Western-style sword, too. Her grip seems wrong for a katana or an odachi.
> look at you pretending like you know stuff
Right? Okay -- she's leading him back up the slope, across the street into the cemetery. I raise the binoculars again. All I can see is motion blurs, though, as she dodges and weaves through the tombstones. Captain Caveman chases after her, knocking graves out of the way like they're nothing --
That's when I hear this kind of whistling sound. I look up to see something big and heavy hurling through the air straight towards me -- before I can react, I hear the trees splinter like twigs and --
***
> restart: iteration 10, day 1, early night
... fuck. Did I... did I just die?
In my room flat on my back again. I think I did. I just... holy shit. I guess that proves it. A game over just resets the loop again. Death is no escape. That's... both kind of comforting and completely horrifying at the same time.
> at least you're not dead dead tho
I guess. Just... wow. Fuck.
> are you gonna go back
Yeah, yeah, just give me a second to process, okay? Fucking hell...
***
> skip forward
So this time, I go to the church ahead of them and pick out a vantage point further up the hill from the cemetery. Unfortunately, my choice sucks. I can't see shit over the tree line, even with the binoculars. I can hear the battle when it starts, though. Maybe it's not a bad thing keeping my distance from that shitstorm, all things considered...
Okay, they're in the graveyard now... some other noise coming from the woods behind me somewhere... okay, now what's that? Some kind of blue light overhead. Like a comet or a --
SHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT!
> what
SOMEONE JUST NUKED THE GRAVEYARD. A FUCKING NUKE. IN JAPAN. HOLY SHITTING FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT!!!
Oh god... I'm not inside the blast radius. Must be a tactical or pocket nuke or something. I was looking right at it -- fuck, I'm amazed my eyes weren't burned right out of their sockets. And the radiation... I don't even want to think about it right now...
Blast is clearing up... all that's left of the graveyard is a familiar-looking crater. That's what happened to the cemetery?! What the fuck are these people?!
***
> skip to: iteration 10, day 3, afternoon
So I'm not dead of radiation poisoning. That's the good news. No sign of above-background levels on me or my clothes at all -- I checked myself over with my Geiger counter when I got back. So maybe that was some kind of thermobaric bomb or fuel-air explosive, I guess? I didn't smell any gasoline...
> you have a geiger counter
Came across a cheap one on eBay and got curious. Anyway, skipped clubs yesterday and staked out Emiya's place from my room. Saw him and the blonde woman leave at one point, so they obviously survived the explosion too.
So what does this add up to? Emiya and Rin, running around with these... mutant genetic supersoldiers? Why? How? Where did they even come from?
> you could just try asking them you know
Ha! You're funny.
> so what now
It's after school. I'm waiting for Rin to go stomping by the classroom door. This time, I'm gonna follow her.
> taking up your stalking game to a whole new level huh
Shut up. It's not like that. This is my one lead, okay?
Right. Here she comes. I wait behind the door until she stomps by, count to three, and follow.
I manage to stay out of sight as she sweeps the third floor and checks the roof. Seems like she's looking for someone. The school empties out in the meantime.
She finally stops short on the landing on the staircase down to the second floor. I can hear her talking to someone. Well, more like yelling.
> what's she saying
Yeah, see, there is definitely something going on with the sound here. I am right down the dang hall from them, but it's like my ears are full of gauze or something. I can't make out any of the words. I can pick up on tone -- I can tell that Rin is pissed, for instance. I can even recognize Emiya's voice nervously talking back to her from further down the stairwell. But none of the actual content registers.
Then I hear this distinct pew noise.
> pew noise
I don't know how else to describe it. It's also kind of a zap, kind of a blam... a sorta sci-fi lasery sound, you know?
Anyway, I hear Shirou yell something. Rin takes off running down the stairs.
> weren't they working together before
I guess? Maybe something changed? I rush down the hall and peek down the stairwell. And there's Rin standing below, her finger pointed down the hall, these glowing teal lines running down her arm. Three more pew sounds. Three black bolts rocket out of her hand down the hall.
What.
Naturally, that's right about when she looks up and sees me, her eyes narrowed.
> think fast
I... can't. I totally freeze up. Like a rabbit stuck in the headlights.
She makes an annoyed grunt and raises her free hand in my direction. "Etwas," she says, making this odd wavey gesture in the air. "Rückwärts --"
***
> restart: iteration 11, day 1, early night
Wait. I'm -- back in my room? What just...
... did Rin just kill me?
What the hell is going on?
***
> skip forward
So I get out my bike -- haven't used it in so long I have to pump up the tires first -- and get over to the church while they're still talking at Emiya's place. That gives me time to find the perfect vantage point up the hill. Full view of the church, the road, and the graveyard. Just gotta wait for them to show up.
Unfortunately, that gives me plenty of time to stew over what I just saw. I mean -- directed energy weapons? Does Rin have some kind of a cyberarm? Is she a robot? Or an alien? Are they all aliens?!
Bluh. Too many questions, not enough data. HURRY UP AND MAKE SENSE AGAIN, UNIVERSE.
> kinda doubt it's that easy
I get that, yeah.
> so listen
> while we have a moment here
> people have been asking about you
Huh? What people?
> just people
> they want to know what your deal is
... I'm... what?
> why do you talk to another voice in your head
... this is me. This is the way I think. What are you looking for here?
> so what am i supposed to be
You? You're... well, you're the prompt. Like in a text adventure game? The place where the player types in, like, "GO SOUTH" or "EXAMINE MAILBOX" or whatever?
> but it's not like i control you
True. I guess it's more about the interactive component?
> what does that mean though
I dunno. You're my subconscious? My internal observer? The imaginary friend I made up to talk to because I'm sad and lonely? -- Fuck it, look. I'm really not in the mood for navel-gazing right now. This is just a thing I do, all right? Why are we even talking about this? You're literally me. You know all this already.
> you get that this isn't normal though right
Says the one talking about nonexistent "people."
> eh
> touché i guess
What, do you and the other figments of my imagination have a book club or something? -- Anyway, shush. Here they come.
The blonde stays outside the front gate. I watch through the binoculars as Rin leads Shirou into the church. (Should I feel jealous about that? I think I might feel jealous about that. No, shut up. Focus.)
"Hey, kid," someone behind me says.
> welp
I slowly turn around. The guy in the red jacket is standing there, his arms folded. Brown skin. White hair that sticks straight up. Some kind of lightweight composite armor beneath his coat. Give him a giant sword or a gunblade and he'd be a Final Fantasy character made flesh. "You suck at hiding," he says gruffly.
"... sorry?" I squeak.
"So how much did you see?" He sounds bored.
"See?" I weakly try to hide the binoculars behind my back. "Why would I see? I mean, what would I. What's there to --"
He sighs. "Yeah, I'm just gonna assume that means everything. This is what I get for putting things off. Should've just taken care of you back at the house..."
"The... house?" He spotted me back at Emiya's place? But -- how? I'd barely even glanced that way when I rode past on my bike...
"The house," he agrees. "You're out of your league, kid. Just forget about it. In fact -- let's make sure you do."
He reaches out and flicks me on the forehead with a single finger. My ears pop. Everything goes black.
***
AUTHOR'S NOTES
In case anyone has trouble keeping up as the narrative jumps around in time, here's a brief outline of the time loop as it currently stands:
- Day 1 / Friday: loop begins at night.
- Day 2 / Saturday: school clubs meet.
- Day 3 / Sunday: school day.
- Day 4 / Monday: school day. Loop resets late at night.
For those familiar with the visual novel, this corresponds to Days 3 through 6 of the game's timeline.
i.3
- Location
- USA
Part I.3
> restart: iteration 12, day 1, early night
Oh, that is it.
I march downstairs and out the door. I go around to the back alley and down the block. Sure enough, there's Rin and the red guy, fighting the blonde swordwoman. Shirou stands in the alley, yelling at them to stop.
I walk out from behind the corner. "Hey!"
They all turn towards me.
I throw out my arms. "What the hell is --"
"I've got it." Rin points at me. "Etwas. Rückwärts --"
***
> restart: iteration 13, day 1, early night
I wait fifteen minutes, then I go and bang on Emiya's front door.
He answers. "Uh, yeah?"
"Hi," I say curtly. "Emiya. I live down the street."
"Oh, right. Tomo... nagi?"
"Tomonaga. Okay. I'm just going to come out and say it. What the fuck is going on?!"
He blinks. "What do you..."
"I know I've got no way to prove this, but I've been stuck in this time loop for days now."
"A what?"
"Time loop. Like, I've been repeating the same three days over and over again. Like Groundhog's Day. Have you ever seen Groundhog's Day?"
"Um, no. Sorry."
"You should. Bill Murray. Very funny. Anyway -- it's been like this for me for over three weeks now. And it all starts with whatever just happened in your backyard."
"Oh," he says.
"So I need to know exactly what the hell just happened. Who that blonde with the sword is. How she can leap freaking buildings. What Tohsaka is doing here. And --"
I look up to see something hurdling towards me.
***
> restart: iteration 14, day 1, early night
"-- and NO! No!" I point up at the guy in the red jacket standing on Shirou's roof. "I see you! Fuck you! That hurts!" He pauses, a throwing knife in his hands. I turn back to Emiya. "And why is there a guy with knives on your roof?! And why does Rin keep killing me with German! Also, y'know... how."
He looks at me, then slowly slides open the door. "... you... want to come in?"
***
> skip forward
I take in a deep breath and let it out. "Magic."
"Yep," Rin says.
I'm sitting at Shirou's kitchen table next to him and the blonde swordwoman, with Rin on the other side of us. Somewhere, I can hear a faucet dripping. "As in," I say, "actual, real, Harry Potter, I-cast-a-spell-at-the-darkness magic. Which is a thing."
"Yeah," Shirou says quietly.
"Something like that, yes." Rin grits her teeth. I think I hit a nerve. She's... very different in person than I would have imagined. She looks at Shirou. "You do realize that, under mage law, we should be getting rid of him, right?"
He shrugs. "Yeah, but..."
"You've tried," I say flatly. "A lot. You ever seen Groundhog's Day? All killing me does is reset --"
"I know what a time loop is, thanks." She tosses her hair. "And don't be stupid. I wouldn't kill you. I'd just erase your memory and leave you in a ditch somewhere."
I'm not quite sure how to respond. "That's... good to know?"
"Isn't it? Anyway, as I was saying -- this week also marks the start of a competition here in Fuyuki. A battle to the death between seven Masters and seven Servants for the Holy Grail. Each Master is a mage, well-trained or --" She shoots a look at Shirou. "-- otherwise, who summons the spirit of a legendary hero as their familiar. The woman over there is Saber, aka Baeber. Who is... for the moment... Shirou's Servant."
"I'm not actually called that second thing," Saber mutters.
I blink. "So... is that spelled B-A-E or B-A-B --"
"Yes. And up on the rooftop, we have my --" Her eyebrow twitches. "-- Archer, Not Actually Satan."
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT, RIN!" a voice yells from above us.
"YOU GOT SOMETHING BETTER, LET ME KNOW!" Rin shouts back. She looks back to us. "He says he can't remember his real name."
"So... what's the point of all this?" Shirou asks. "Do we get something if we win, or... ?"
She shifts her eyes. "Nothing. Just the cup."
"So... what? It's like... the Wizard Murder Grand Prix?" I ask.
She shrugs. "I prefer Murder-Death-Kill, personally. But that's not bad."
Was that a reference? I feel like that might have been a reference. In any case, I look over at Saber. "And you guys are actually okay with this?"
"Technically," Saber answers, "we are all just the incarnations of Heroic Spirits, held eternally within the collective memory of humanity outside of space and time. When we are killed here, we simply return to the Akashic Records from whence we were summoned. As such, we cannot really die."
I took away what little I could from that. "So... you're ghosts?"
"Not exactly. We can interact with the physical world the same way humans do. Still, that's not entirely inaccurate."
Rin groans and puts her head down on the table. "God. Two complete noobs in the same night. I don't deserve this..." She raises her head. "Okay, to hell with it. A mess like this should be Kotomine's problem."
***
> go to church
"Hmm." Father Kirei Kotomine strokes his chin. "Interesting. An issue like this has never come up before in the Grail's recorded history."
"You don't say," I reply. In the last few minutes, we'd been informed that the Murder-Death-Kill was in fact officially known as the Fifth Holy Grail War (though Rin refuses to call it that); that Rin had unaccountably failed to mention that the winning Master-Servant pair actually got a magical wish each, not just a trophy; and that this priest was strangely fascinated with the spelling of Shirou's last name. None of which really had anything to do with me, of course.
"You understand, of course," Father Kotomine says, "that under normal circumstances I would be required to alter your memories. The secrecy of the Grail ritual is considered an absolute priority."
"Yeah, I wouldn't bother." On the way over, I'd asked Rin what her memory altering spell sounded like. Sure enough, it was the same German words I'd heard before. So I guess memory wipes trigger the reset too, for some reason. Or they kill me outright somehow, a thing that Rin had assured me is impossible. Probably. "It'd just send me back to the start of the night, and then we'd have to have this conversation all over again."
"Hmm. Well... so long as you hold this knowledge in the strictest confidence, I suppose we can give you time to research a solution. I wish I had more to offer on that front, but frankly this sort of thing is well outside my organization's usual area of expertise."
"Thanks anyway. I appreciate it." I'm not entirely sure if I would have wanted his help anyway. Oh, the priest had been more than reasonable to me so far. All the same, though... something about this guy just strikes me as... off. And Rin seems to have some kind of beef with him.
I don't know, though. Maybe I'm just being xenophobic. I don't really know a whole lot about Christians, to be honest. According to Rin, the Secret Church -- which I guess is somehow distinct from, yet simultaneously part of, the Normal Church? -- officially moderates this whole shebang to keep it from going out of control. And anyway, that long black robe he's wearing would probably make anyone look sinister.
"Well... I guess that's it, then," I say. "Thanks again." I walk towards the exit, where Shirou and Rin are waiting.
"Go in peace," the priest calls out to us. "Especially you... Shirou Emiya."
Okay, yeah. Gonna circle on back to my first impression, thanks.
***
> walk home
"So Saber isn't your name, it's the type of Servant you are," I say as we head through the foggy streets.
"Correct," Saber replies.
"Okay. So what is your real name?"
"That is something we Servants reveal only to our Masters."
"Huh. Why's that?"
"Because magic, that's why!" Rin snaps. "Gah, do you always ask this many questions?!" She's still in a bad mood.
"Well, sorry..." I shrug. "Look at it this way. Every one you answer now, I won't have to ask again in a few days."
Rin grumbles something about normies under her breath. I guess she'd really been hoping to get her hands on Baeber. No luck there, though. After talking to Kotomine, Shirou seems to have decided to stay in the game. He silently walks a pace or two in front of us. Brooding, I guess.
I turn back to Saber. "And Servant class -- that's basically like an RPG job, right? Or a class in D&D?"
"I don't know what either of those things are."
"It's like... your class defines what you can do. So you're melee, Archer's all about ranged attacks... what about Hulk?"
"The what?"
"You know, the big huge musclehead that goes around with the little albino gir --"
I stop short.
I realize they haven't run into said musclehead yet. "Oh."
I realize where I am -- right next to the graveyard. "Oohhhhhhh."
I slowly turn around.
The little albino girl and the giant appear out of the fog behind us.
I turn back to the group and offer a weak, apologetic smile. "Yeah... probably shoulda led with that."
> restart: iteration 12, day 1, early night
Oh, that is it.
I march downstairs and out the door. I go around to the back alley and down the block. Sure enough, there's Rin and the red guy, fighting the blonde swordwoman. Shirou stands in the alley, yelling at them to stop.
I walk out from behind the corner. "Hey!"
They all turn towards me.
I throw out my arms. "What the hell is --"
"I've got it." Rin points at me. "Etwas. Rückwärts --"
***
> restart: iteration 13, day 1, early night
I wait fifteen minutes, then I go and bang on Emiya's front door.
He answers. "Uh, yeah?"
"Hi," I say curtly. "Emiya. I live down the street."
"Oh, right. Tomo... nagi?"
"Tomonaga. Okay. I'm just going to come out and say it. What the fuck is going on?!"
He blinks. "What do you..."
"I know I've got no way to prove this, but I've been stuck in this time loop for days now."
"A what?"
"Time loop. Like, I've been repeating the same three days over and over again. Like Groundhog's Day. Have you ever seen Groundhog's Day?"
"Um, no. Sorry."
"You should. Bill Murray. Very funny. Anyway -- it's been like this for me for over three weeks now. And it all starts with whatever just happened in your backyard."
"Oh," he says.
"So I need to know exactly what the hell just happened. Who that blonde with the sword is. How she can leap freaking buildings. What Tohsaka is doing here. And --"
I look up to see something hurdling towards me.
***
> restart: iteration 14, day 1, early night
"-- and NO! No!" I point up at the guy in the red jacket standing on Shirou's roof. "I see you! Fuck you! That hurts!" He pauses, a throwing knife in his hands. I turn back to Emiya. "And why is there a guy with knives on your roof?! And why does Rin keep killing me with German! Also, y'know... how."
He looks at me, then slowly slides open the door. "... you... want to come in?"
***
> skip forward
I take in a deep breath and let it out. "Magic."
"Yep," Rin says.
I'm sitting at Shirou's kitchen table next to him and the blonde swordwoman, with Rin on the other side of us. Somewhere, I can hear a faucet dripping. "As in," I say, "actual, real, Harry Potter, I-cast-a-spell-at-the-darkness magic. Which is a thing."
"Yeah," Shirou says quietly.
"Something like that, yes." Rin grits her teeth. I think I hit a nerve. She's... very different in person than I would have imagined. She looks at Shirou. "You do realize that, under mage law, we should be getting rid of him, right?"
He shrugs. "Yeah, but..."
"You've tried," I say flatly. "A lot. You ever seen Groundhog's Day? All killing me does is reset --"
"I know what a time loop is, thanks." She tosses her hair. "And don't be stupid. I wouldn't kill you. I'd just erase your memory and leave you in a ditch somewhere."
I'm not quite sure how to respond. "That's... good to know?"
"Isn't it? Anyway, as I was saying -- this week also marks the start of a competition here in Fuyuki. A battle to the death between seven Masters and seven Servants for the Holy Grail. Each Master is a mage, well-trained or --" She shoots a look at Shirou. "-- otherwise, who summons the spirit of a legendary hero as their familiar. The woman over there is Saber, aka Baeber. Who is... for the moment... Shirou's Servant."
"I'm not actually called that second thing," Saber mutters.
I blink. "So... is that spelled B-A-E or B-A-B --"
"Yes. And up on the rooftop, we have my --" Her eyebrow twitches. "-- Archer, Not Actually Satan."
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT, RIN!" a voice yells from above us.
"YOU GOT SOMETHING BETTER, LET ME KNOW!" Rin shouts back. She looks back to us. "He says he can't remember his real name."
"So... what's the point of all this?" Shirou asks. "Do we get something if we win, or... ?"
She shifts her eyes. "Nothing. Just the cup."
"So... what? It's like... the Wizard Murder Grand Prix?" I ask.
She shrugs. "I prefer Murder-Death-Kill, personally. But that's not bad."
Was that a reference? I feel like that might have been a reference. In any case, I look over at Saber. "And you guys are actually okay with this?"
"Technically," Saber answers, "we are all just the incarnations of Heroic Spirits, held eternally within the collective memory of humanity outside of space and time. When we are killed here, we simply return to the Akashic Records from whence we were summoned. As such, we cannot really die."
I took away what little I could from that. "So... you're ghosts?"
"Not exactly. We can interact with the physical world the same way humans do. Still, that's not entirely inaccurate."
Rin groans and puts her head down on the table. "God. Two complete noobs in the same night. I don't deserve this..." She raises her head. "Okay, to hell with it. A mess like this should be Kotomine's problem."
***
> go to church
"Hmm." Father Kirei Kotomine strokes his chin. "Interesting. An issue like this has never come up before in the Grail's recorded history."
"You don't say," I reply. In the last few minutes, we'd been informed that the Murder-Death-Kill was in fact officially known as the Fifth Holy Grail War (though Rin refuses to call it that); that Rin had unaccountably failed to mention that the winning Master-Servant pair actually got a magical wish each, not just a trophy; and that this priest was strangely fascinated with the spelling of Shirou's last name. None of which really had anything to do with me, of course.
"You understand, of course," Father Kotomine says, "that under normal circumstances I would be required to alter your memories. The secrecy of the Grail ritual is considered an absolute priority."
"Yeah, I wouldn't bother." On the way over, I'd asked Rin what her memory altering spell sounded like. Sure enough, it was the same German words I'd heard before. So I guess memory wipes trigger the reset too, for some reason. Or they kill me outright somehow, a thing that Rin had assured me is impossible. Probably. "It'd just send me back to the start of the night, and then we'd have to have this conversation all over again."
"Hmm. Well... so long as you hold this knowledge in the strictest confidence, I suppose we can give you time to research a solution. I wish I had more to offer on that front, but frankly this sort of thing is well outside my organization's usual area of expertise."
"Thanks anyway. I appreciate it." I'm not entirely sure if I would have wanted his help anyway. Oh, the priest had been more than reasonable to me so far. All the same, though... something about this guy just strikes me as... off. And Rin seems to have some kind of beef with him.
I don't know, though. Maybe I'm just being xenophobic. I don't really know a whole lot about Christians, to be honest. According to Rin, the Secret Church -- which I guess is somehow distinct from, yet simultaneously part of, the Normal Church? -- officially moderates this whole shebang to keep it from going out of control. And anyway, that long black robe he's wearing would probably make anyone look sinister.
"Well... I guess that's it, then," I say. "Thanks again." I walk towards the exit, where Shirou and Rin are waiting.
"Go in peace," the priest calls out to us. "Especially you... Shirou Emiya."
Okay, yeah. Gonna circle on back to my first impression, thanks.
***
> walk home
"So Saber isn't your name, it's the type of Servant you are," I say as we head through the foggy streets.
"Correct," Saber replies.
"Okay. So what is your real name?"
"That is something we Servants reveal only to our Masters."
"Huh. Why's that?"
"Because magic, that's why!" Rin snaps. "Gah, do you always ask this many questions?!" She's still in a bad mood.
"Well, sorry..." I shrug. "Look at it this way. Every one you answer now, I won't have to ask again in a few days."
Rin grumbles something about normies under her breath. I guess she'd really been hoping to get her hands on Baeber. No luck there, though. After talking to Kotomine, Shirou seems to have decided to stay in the game. He silently walks a pace or two in front of us. Brooding, I guess.
I turn back to Saber. "And Servant class -- that's basically like an RPG job, right? Or a class in D&D?"
"I don't know what either of those things are."
"It's like... your class defines what you can do. So you're melee, Archer's all about ranged attacks... what about Hulk?"
"The what?"
"You know, the big huge musclehead that goes around with the little albino gir --"
I stop short.
I realize they haven't run into said musclehead yet. "Oh."
I realize where I am -- right next to the graveyard. "Oohhhhhhh."
I slowly turn around.
The little albino girl and the giant appear out of the fog behind us.
I turn back to the group and offer a weak, apologetic smile. "Yeah... probably shoulda led with that."
i.4
- Location
- USA
Part I.4
> continue: iteration 14, day 1, late night
"Good evening." The little girl curtsies. "Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Illyasviel von Einzbern. And this is my Servant, Berserker." She really has the whole creepy-horror-movie-child thing down pat. Give her a twin, and we'd be halfway to a Shining remake.
Saber immediately puts herself between us and them. I quickly retreat behind Shirou and Rin.
"I see two Masters and a Servant before me," the girl continues. "But who is the fourth?"
I glance around. No sign of Not Actually Satan. "Oh, who, me?" I hold up my hands. "Oh, I'm -- I'm nobody. I'm not really part of this. Like, at all. I'm just a -- a..."
Rin sighs. "He's a non-combatant retainer."
I roll with it. "Yes. I'm that. That thing she just said."
"Oh. Well." The little girl smiles. "Unfortunately, so long as you're with the Master you serve... you're still fair game."
"Are you sure?" I ask desperately. "You guys don't have -- like -- medics? Or ambulance drivers? Or -- I dunno... magic accountants or something?"
"Bored now." She snaps her fingers. "Berserker. Kill them."
McHugeLarge springs way high into the air. A bunch of glowy arrows hit him and explode, and he crashes to the ground -- but then jumps at Shirou and Saber blocks him, with enough force that it feels like an artillery shell just went off in front of us --
> cue awesome battle sequence
It is awesome! But it's like a typhoon or a tsunami! Great and spectacular and all -- at a distance. Not something I want to be right in the middle of!
Running would be awesome right now, but then I might be making myself a target. So I just stay back and cringe and try to make myself look as small and non-threatening as possible.
Eventually, Saber lures Berserker deeper into the graveyard. The von Einzbern girl walks away. "I'm going after her!" Rin roars at us. "You two -- go home!" She rushes away.
Shirou looks at me. "I'm going too. You can stay here if you want."
I give him two thumbs up. "Yep! Fine! Works for me! Good luck, dude!"
He runs off after Rin. I'm pretty sure I can hear him humming the theme tune for something under his breath as he goes. I glance around cautiously. No sign of anyone, but I'm still a little too close to where I saw that one really big explosion happen. I should probably fix that.
***
> skip to: iteration 14, day 2, early morning
So the battle ends in a draw. Shirou gets wounded somehow -- guess he ended up inside the blast radius or something. Saber convinces Rin to assist her with first aid, and I help them get back to his house.
"So I have to ask," I say to Saber once they've got Shirou patched up and put to bed. "What exactly happened in the courtyard a few hours ago? I really need you to tell me everything."
"There isn't much to tell," Saber replies. "Shirou managed to summon me just as he was being attacked by another Servant."
Rin grunts. "Lancer, right? Better known as Cu Chulainn."
"You guessed his identity too, I see," Saber says.
"Kinda obvious, don't you think?"
I try and keep things on track. "So nothing you'd consider weird happened. At all."
Saber thinks for a second. "Well... come to think of it... there was one thing that seemed odd..."
Oh, thank God. "Yeah?"
"During the fight... Lancer used his ultimate attack on me. His Noble Phantasm, Gae Bolg."
"The spear that never misses," Rin mutters.
"Not quite." Saber tilts her head. "The true nature of the attack is that it rewrites time to ensure it cannot miss its mark. So that it is destined to strike its target, as inevitable as tomorrow follows today. In other words, the attack reverses cause and effect in such a way that the weapon hits before it is even thrown."
"Wow..." I blink. "And you survived that?"
She shrugs. "I was lucky."
Lucky against an attack that rewrites casuality? "So what happened then?"
"Nothing. Lancer's master ordered him to retreat. Then I sensed Archer's presence nearby and went to confront him."
"Huh." That burst of energy I saw right before the loop started... could that have been from Lancer? Whatever the case, that at least gives me something to go on. "Thanks. I think that helps."
She nods. "I wish you luck escaping your curse, Mr. Tomonaga. I would assist you further if I could, but my focus must be on my Master and the Grail."
"Wait..." Rin turns and eyes me. "Your name's Tomonaga?"
I can't help but blush when she says my name. Stupid hormones. "Uh... yeah? Why?"
She shrugs and looks away. "Eh... no reason. Forget it."
***
> skip forward
I pass on clubs that day and go to the library to read up on Cu Chulainn and Irish mythology. I don't turn up anything that's really helpful. Oh, there's tons of prophecies, vanishing islands, Rip-Van-Winkle-style visits to the fae world where time runs at a different rate -- but no time loops. I spend the night poking around online and trying to break Shin's encryption... until I finally give up in frustration and switch to stress-playing Civ2.
> isn't that like two versions behind at this point
It's video game comfort food, okay? Now hush. I need to nuke India before Gandhi flips out.
***
> skip to: iteration 14, day 3, afternoon
I have to return my library books after school on Sunday. After that, I look up Rin's address in the school directory and walk over. It's getting close to sunset when I knock on her door.
She answers it in a huff. "You did hear me when I said I'm breaking the law just by talking to you, right?"
"I know, sorry. But I've only got a day left before I hit the reset point here, so --"
She rolls her eyes. "Guh. Fine. Just get in here already."
Her house is absolutely massive. She leads me to this incredibly fancy living room. (Or maybe it counts as a parlor? Not one hundred percent certain what a parlor is, honestly.) I walk in and stop short. Shirou, sitting on a reclining couch with his shirt off, looks up in surprise. "Oh. Hey."
"Hey." I blink. "Sorry. Um. Not interrupting anything, am I?" I feel a twinge of jealousy. Lucky bastard. Well, sort of -- his chest and arm are almost completely wrapped in bandages. From the looks of the stains, he's got a massive gash still bleeding between his right wrist and elbow. Bloody hell. What's he even made of?
"No," Rin says firmly. "I'm just patching up this moron after he did something reckless. Again."
I eye his arm. "What happened?"
Shirou starts, "We ran into this --"
"It's Grail business." Rin cuts him off. "Anyway, I looked up some stuff, Tomonaga. But there's not much I can tell you. Time manipulation magic is considered extremely dangerous. Only a few mage families have ever attempted to master it, and most of them have died out."
"Wow." I can't help myself. "Even the Weasleys and the Malfoys?"
"This isn't like Harry Potter!" Rin snaps. She takes a deep breath and crosses her arms. "Anyway, the only active family still associated with it are the Animuspheres in England. And most people think they're a bunch of crazed weirdos anyway."
"I'm fine with weird," I say. "Is there any way to get in touch with them?"
"Not within a day. Even three probably isn't enough to get a letter to the Clock Tower and back." Rin shrugs. "In terms of time loops, there's been a few in recorded history. But they always were the result of deliberate experimentation involving huge amounts of mana. And they affected entire areas, not just a single person. Nothing like what you're describing."
"And that's it?"
"Afraid so." Rin takes out a piece of paper out and offers it to me stiffly. "This is the only contact address for the Aminuspheres I could find. You can try and send them a letter if you want. Just remember, you didn't get this from me."
I take it. "Got it. Thanks."
"You're welcome." She turns away. "Now, if you excuse me, I have to finish stitching up this idiot."
"Oi," Shirou says irritably. "I kept you from getting hurt, didn't I?"
"Yeah, by blocking a knife with your arm. Who asked you to do that?" Rin shakes her head and glances over at me. "You know the way out, right?"
***
> here i go again on my own
(buddah bow wow)
It's a pretty depressing walk back home. After everything's said and done, I'm at a dead end again. I guess if I can see if these Aminusphere people have an email address somewhere, but otherwise... what am I gonna do with just a day?
Also... damn. Emiya blocks knives with his own arm? I can't do stuff like that, and I've got what amounts to a respawn point. What's that say about me?
"Tomonaga, right?"
"Huh?" I turn around towards the unfamiliar voice. Then I look up.
Standing on the power lines over my head -- like a frigging bird -- is a man in blue armor. Over his shoulders, he carries a long red spear with a point that looks to be roughly around the size of my head.
Oh, crap. "Lancer?"
"And that settles it." He leaps down to the road, spear in hand. "Sorry, kid. But mage law is mage law."
I hold up my hands. "No no waitwaitwait! Just let me --"
In the space it takes me to blink, the end of his spear is through my chest and out my back.
> continue: iteration 14, day 1, late night
"Good evening." The little girl curtsies. "Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Illyasviel von Einzbern. And this is my Servant, Berserker." She really has the whole creepy-horror-movie-child thing down pat. Give her a twin, and we'd be halfway to a Shining remake.
Saber immediately puts herself between us and them. I quickly retreat behind Shirou and Rin.
"I see two Masters and a Servant before me," the girl continues. "But who is the fourth?"
I glance around. No sign of Not Actually Satan. "Oh, who, me?" I hold up my hands. "Oh, I'm -- I'm nobody. I'm not really part of this. Like, at all. I'm just a -- a..."
Rin sighs. "He's a non-combatant retainer."
I roll with it. "Yes. I'm that. That thing she just said."
"Oh. Well." The little girl smiles. "Unfortunately, so long as you're with the Master you serve... you're still fair game."
"Are you sure?" I ask desperately. "You guys don't have -- like -- medics? Or ambulance drivers? Or -- I dunno... magic accountants or something?"
"Bored now." She snaps her fingers. "Berserker. Kill them."
McHugeLarge springs way high into the air. A bunch of glowy arrows hit him and explode, and he crashes to the ground -- but then jumps at Shirou and Saber blocks him, with enough force that it feels like an artillery shell just went off in front of us --
> cue awesome battle sequence
It is awesome! But it's like a typhoon or a tsunami! Great and spectacular and all -- at a distance. Not something I want to be right in the middle of!
Running would be awesome right now, but then I might be making myself a target. So I just stay back and cringe and try to make myself look as small and non-threatening as possible.
Eventually, Saber lures Berserker deeper into the graveyard. The von Einzbern girl walks away. "I'm going after her!" Rin roars at us. "You two -- go home!" She rushes away.
Shirou looks at me. "I'm going too. You can stay here if you want."
I give him two thumbs up. "Yep! Fine! Works for me! Good luck, dude!"
He runs off after Rin. I'm pretty sure I can hear him humming the theme tune for something under his breath as he goes. I glance around cautiously. No sign of anyone, but I'm still a little too close to where I saw that one really big explosion happen. I should probably fix that.
***
> skip to: iteration 14, day 2, early morning
So the battle ends in a draw. Shirou gets wounded somehow -- guess he ended up inside the blast radius or something. Saber convinces Rin to assist her with first aid, and I help them get back to his house.
"So I have to ask," I say to Saber once they've got Shirou patched up and put to bed. "What exactly happened in the courtyard a few hours ago? I really need you to tell me everything."
"There isn't much to tell," Saber replies. "Shirou managed to summon me just as he was being attacked by another Servant."
Rin grunts. "Lancer, right? Better known as Cu Chulainn."
"You guessed his identity too, I see," Saber says.
"Kinda obvious, don't you think?"
I try and keep things on track. "So nothing you'd consider weird happened. At all."
Saber thinks for a second. "Well... come to think of it... there was one thing that seemed odd..."
Oh, thank God. "Yeah?"
"During the fight... Lancer used his ultimate attack on me. His Noble Phantasm, Gae Bolg."
"The spear that never misses," Rin mutters.
"Not quite." Saber tilts her head. "The true nature of the attack is that it rewrites time to ensure it cannot miss its mark. So that it is destined to strike its target, as inevitable as tomorrow follows today. In other words, the attack reverses cause and effect in such a way that the weapon hits before it is even thrown."
"Wow..." I blink. "And you survived that?"
She shrugs. "I was lucky."
Lucky against an attack that rewrites casuality? "So what happened then?"
"Nothing. Lancer's master ordered him to retreat. Then I sensed Archer's presence nearby and went to confront him."
"Huh." That burst of energy I saw right before the loop started... could that have been from Lancer? Whatever the case, that at least gives me something to go on. "Thanks. I think that helps."
She nods. "I wish you luck escaping your curse, Mr. Tomonaga. I would assist you further if I could, but my focus must be on my Master and the Grail."
"Wait..." Rin turns and eyes me. "Your name's Tomonaga?"
I can't help but blush when she says my name. Stupid hormones. "Uh... yeah? Why?"
She shrugs and looks away. "Eh... no reason. Forget it."
***
> skip forward
I pass on clubs that day and go to the library to read up on Cu Chulainn and Irish mythology. I don't turn up anything that's really helpful. Oh, there's tons of prophecies, vanishing islands, Rip-Van-Winkle-style visits to the fae world where time runs at a different rate -- but no time loops. I spend the night poking around online and trying to break Shin's encryption... until I finally give up in frustration and switch to stress-playing Civ2.
> isn't that like two versions behind at this point
It's video game comfort food, okay? Now hush. I need to nuke India before Gandhi flips out.
***
> skip to: iteration 14, day 3, afternoon
I have to return my library books after school on Sunday. After that, I look up Rin's address in the school directory and walk over. It's getting close to sunset when I knock on her door.
She answers it in a huff. "You did hear me when I said I'm breaking the law just by talking to you, right?"
"I know, sorry. But I've only got a day left before I hit the reset point here, so --"
She rolls her eyes. "Guh. Fine. Just get in here already."
Her house is absolutely massive. She leads me to this incredibly fancy living room. (Or maybe it counts as a parlor? Not one hundred percent certain what a parlor is, honestly.) I walk in and stop short. Shirou, sitting on a reclining couch with his shirt off, looks up in surprise. "Oh. Hey."
"Hey." I blink. "Sorry. Um. Not interrupting anything, am I?" I feel a twinge of jealousy. Lucky bastard. Well, sort of -- his chest and arm are almost completely wrapped in bandages. From the looks of the stains, he's got a massive gash still bleeding between his right wrist and elbow. Bloody hell. What's he even made of?
"No," Rin says firmly. "I'm just patching up this moron after he did something reckless. Again."
I eye his arm. "What happened?"
Shirou starts, "We ran into this --"
"It's Grail business." Rin cuts him off. "Anyway, I looked up some stuff, Tomonaga. But there's not much I can tell you. Time manipulation magic is considered extremely dangerous. Only a few mage families have ever attempted to master it, and most of them have died out."
"Wow." I can't help myself. "Even the Weasleys and the Malfoys?"
"This isn't like Harry Potter!" Rin snaps. She takes a deep breath and crosses her arms. "Anyway, the only active family still associated with it are the Animuspheres in England. And most people think they're a bunch of crazed weirdos anyway."
"I'm fine with weird," I say. "Is there any way to get in touch with them?"
"Not within a day. Even three probably isn't enough to get a letter to the Clock Tower and back." Rin shrugs. "In terms of time loops, there's been a few in recorded history. But they always were the result of deliberate experimentation involving huge amounts of mana. And they affected entire areas, not just a single person. Nothing like what you're describing."
"And that's it?"
"Afraid so." Rin takes out a piece of paper out and offers it to me stiffly. "This is the only contact address for the Aminuspheres I could find. You can try and send them a letter if you want. Just remember, you didn't get this from me."
I take it. "Got it. Thanks."
"You're welcome." She turns away. "Now, if you excuse me, I have to finish stitching up this idiot."
"Oi," Shirou says irritably. "I kept you from getting hurt, didn't I?"
"Yeah, by blocking a knife with your arm. Who asked you to do that?" Rin shakes her head and glances over at me. "You know the way out, right?"
***
> here i go again on my own
(buddah bow wow)
It's a pretty depressing walk back home. After everything's said and done, I'm at a dead end again. I guess if I can see if these Aminusphere people have an email address somewhere, but otherwise... what am I gonna do with just a day?
Also... damn. Emiya blocks knives with his own arm? I can't do stuff like that, and I've got what amounts to a respawn point. What's that say about me?
"Tomonaga, right?"
"Huh?" I turn around towards the unfamiliar voice. Then I look up.
Standing on the power lines over my head -- like a frigging bird -- is a man in blue armor. Over his shoulders, he carries a long red spear with a point that looks to be roughly around the size of my head.
Oh, crap. "Lancer?"
"And that settles it." He leaps down to the road, spear in hand. "Sorry, kid. But mage law is mage law."
I hold up my hands. "No no waitwaitwait! Just let me --"
In the space it takes me to blink, the end of his spear is through my chest and out my back.
i.5
- Location
- USA
Part I.5
> restart: iteration 15, day 1, early night
FUCK! Fuck fuck fuck! What the actual fuck!
> breathe dude
Bluh. Right. Breathe. Okay. I'm okay. Just breathe.
Gah. That sucked. It's strange, though. I don't seem to actually remember the pain when I restart after dying, you know? It's like I can remember thinking something hurts, but not the actual physical sensation. Maybe I'm just blocking it out or repressing it? Either way, good job, brain. You keep that up.
> so what was that about
I have no idea! The guy just likes showing up and stabbing people, I guess? Who does that?!
> what about the address
What about the -- FUCK.
I check my pockets. Of course I don't have the slip of paper Rin gave me. Shit. No inventory on respawn? This game sucks, man.
> get gud, noob
I can't remember the address either. I only gave it a quick look. Thought I had at least another day to memorize it. Shit.
Okay, calm down. It's all right. I'll just have to ask Rin for the address again this time. Nothing's really been lost. I look over the machine and the open notebook on my desk and --
Wait.
So... going back to that energy spectrum Uncle Shin said he could detect. He called the most common kind "G-Energy." The notes say it shows up on the detector as one green light and two to four blue lights, depending on the intensity of the signal.
"G-Energy." Holy Grail. Grail energy.
I'm an idiot.
> rethink everything
So let's assume that the dark energy Uncle Shin was tracking had something to do with this "magic" somehow. Which is in fact a thing. (Come on, worldview. We can do this. Just keep mentally swapping out "magic" for "sufficiently advanced technology of unknown origin" until the pain goes away. We'll get there eventually. Baby steps.)
I go back through the notebooks again. I keep getting drawn back to those date range calculations. The ones that just happen to match up with when the Grail War's getting started. That can't be a coincidence, right?
***
> skip to: iteration 15, day 2, early morning
I wait until they're back, then go down the street to Emiya's. No one answers when I knock, but the door's unlocked. I go in and wander out towards the back, where I know they are. "Hey, Tohsaka. About the Murder-Death-Kill -- who decides when it's gonna happen? Is it the Church or --"
"Who the fuck are you?!"
Rin points her arm at me like a rifle. Saber draws her invisible sword. Emiya... well... stays unconscious on the floor.
Oh. Right.
I... sort of skipped the introductions this time, didn't I. Took a rain check on that first meeting and the trip to the church, so I wouldn't have to go through meeting creepy priest or psycho loli again. Didn't really think too much about it.
> oops
I take a deep breath. "I'll come in again."
> no one expects the japanese inquisition
I spin around in place, then wave. "Hi! I'm Tomasu Tomonaga! I'm stuck in a time loop! Please help me!"
> our chief weapon is surprise
> surprise and abject groveling
Oh, God. It's just dawning on me. I'm going to have to go through this every single time I need something from them, aren't I? Which I am, because they're pretty much my only source of information. This... this is going to be maddening.
> yup
> better start getting used to it
I go through the whole thing all over again. Strangely enough, at the end of it, neither of them really feel like volunteering information to a stranger who literally just wandered in from off the street. Obviously, I'm going to have to work on my pitch.
The fact that Emiya is still lying on the floor bleeding probably isn't helping anything, either. "Look, it doesn't matter," Rin finally snaps as she switches out the bandages on his shoulders. "We're busy! Come back later -- unless you just want me to mind wipe you and be done with it."
"... actually, could you?" I scratch the back of my head. "A reset sounds pretty good right now, honestly."
"Just get out!" She points her index finger up above my head and fires off an energy blast. I take the hint and run.
***
> skip to: iteration 15, day 2, late morning
I wait until I'm sure Rin's gone, then I go back and try out my spiel on Shirou. He at least hears me out. "So what are you going to do now?" he asks when I'm finished.
"I have absolutely no idea." I rub my face. "I mean, this magic stuff sounds like my best lead and all. But other than asking Tohsaka, I've got no idea how to go about researching it."
He nods. "I can't really help you there myself. I only know what my dad told me, and he didn't say much."
"Honestly, the thing that's really stressing me out right now is how to convince you guys to listen to me every few days." I hesitate. "I know this is kind of a weird thing to ask, but... is there any kind of like... I dunno... password or something I could bring up next time that would prove to you I'm not just making shit up? Like... some kind of memory or something you haven't told anyone about?"
"Not really. Honestly, your best bet is probably just to look me in the eye and tell me the truth. I'll believe you then."
"... you will?" I blink. "Meaning... you believe me now?"
"Sure, why not?" He shrugs. "I just learned about Servants and the Holy Grail. I don't see any reason time loops couldn't be real, too."
That makes sense, I guess. All the same, given the clusterfuck this loop's already turned into, I can't help but be a little touched. "... huh. Thanks, man."
Well... as long as I'm pushing my luck... I glance over at the other person in the room. "So, um... Saber?..."
"I will follow the example of my Master." Saber sips her tea. She's just been sitting quietly next to Emiya this whole time, exuding this air of silent disapproval. "Regardless of my personal opinions on the matter." Something in her tone suggests I shouldn't push this topic of conversation any further, at least if I plan on keeping all of my organs.
I again decide to take the hint. "Right. Forget I asked."
***
> skip forward
Emiya shows me to the door. "Sorry I can't be of more help with this," he says. "It sounds like I'm probably going to be pretty busy with this Grail stuff from now on."
"No, yeah, I understand." I try not to look too frustrated.
"Still... if there's anything I can do... don't be afraid to ask, okay?" Shirou offers me his hand.
Dammit. Emiya's just too damn nice for his own good. "Thanks, man," I say. I reach out and shake.
ZZRRRP
***
> transfer complete
Fire and smoke. A little boy wanders alone through hell. "A hero of justice." "I'll do it for you, then." A weary man in a black kimono looks down and smiles.
***
ZZRRRP
"-- whoa, hey, what?" I jerk my hand back. "What the hell was -- did you see that?"
"See what?" Shirou tilts his head.
So that's obviously a no. "... uh. It's nothing. Guess I'm just tired. Thanks again, Emiya." I turn and trudge away.
The hell it was, though. That was no nothing. That was very clearly a something. But what kind of something?
***
> skip forward: iteration 15, day 4, morning
I spend the rest of the weekend trying to research magic in general as best I can. There's not a whole lot at the library or even online. By the end of things, I'm starting to feel like Dungeons & Dragons gave me a better overview than most of the stuff I've come across.
I manage to catch Emiya on the way to school Monday morning. "So how does magic work, anyway?" I ask, once I'm sure we're out of earshot of anyone. "I mean, how do you use it?"
"It's hard to describe." He scratches the back of his head. "My dad said that there were these things called Magic Circuits that only mages have. They activate if you know how to run your life energy through them."
"And how do you learn to do that?" I ask.
"It involves a lot of mediation. Some guided imagery exercises. At least, that's how Dad taught me." He shrugs. "Rin would probably be able to tell you more. Anyway, I'm not really supposed to talk about it."
"Got it." I glance around. We're approaching the school now. Sidewalk's getting a lot more crowded. "In general terms, though. What kind of... um... stuff can you do?"
"Not much. Structural analysis, mostly." We walk up the stairs towards his homeroom. "I can also reinforce certain materials. I use it to fix things."
"Huh." I scratch my chin. "Still. That sounds really useful, actually. Kind of like you're carrying around a scanner or an ultrasound or something..." I wonder if there's anything he could tell me about Uncle Shin's detector?
"Yo, Emiya!" someone else calls out. Oh, great, this asshole? What does he want?
I've basically followed Emiya straight up to his desk -- no big deal, since my homeroom's right next door. The guy who just hailed him is Shinji Matou. I don't really know the guy, but he has a reputation as an inexplicably popular douchebag. (Okay, maybe not that inexplicable -- his family's rich, after all.) My handful of dealings with him have only reinforced that impression.
"Oh, Shinji." Shirou glances at him. "Do you know Tomonaga? He's in class B --"
"Doesn't matter, don't care." Matou crosses the room and slams his hands down on Shirou's desk. Well, shit. Rude much? "Listen, did you hear about Mitsuzuri?"
"You mean Ayako?" Shirou furrows his brow. "I heard they found her, yeah."
"Who?" I ask, clueless as usual.
"She's in class A," Shirou mutters to me. "She went missing Saturday. That's why they let out school early yesterday."
"Seriously?" I raise my eyebrows. Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?
> why don't you ask
... yeah, fair.
"But did you hear about where they found her?" There's something deeply unsettling about Matou's smile. "I heard it was in a back alley in Shinto. They say her eyes were glazed over and her uniform in tatters." He licks his lips. "Doesn't it make you wonder? How a normal girl like her wound up like that? What do you think she's been getting up to at night?"
... what the fuck. I mean -- just... what the fuck? What the everliving shit is this guy's damage?! From his tone, I half-expect him to whip it out and start jerking it right here in front of us. And wow, there is a mental image I immediately regret from the bottom of my heart.
> yeah that's a twelve out of ten on the nope scale
I glance over at Shirou, if only to make sure I'm not the only one hearing this. His expression is totally blank. I think he's having so much trouble processing this that he's fallen back into DOS mode. Divide by zero, does not compute, please empty the human trash. He has balled up his hand into a fist, though.
For my part, the only thing I can think of to do is just get the fuck out. "I'll... see you later, Emiya," I say slowly. "I should... yeah." I walk out of the room. Note to self: in future loops, avoid that conversation. At all costs.
***
> skip forward
Lunch rolls around. Just another ten hours or so until I hit the reset point. I'm pretty much out of ideas now, though. Guess this loop really is a wash.
On a whim, I go down to the school library to see if they've got anything about magic and/or the occult. As one might expect, I come up with a whole lot of nothing. Regardless, I start digging through the mythology section, if only for the sake of thoroughness.
That's when I find it.
No, not a book. It's some kind of ornate circle, inscribed in dark red on the bottom shelf, surrounded by weird figures and hieroglyphics. It doesn't seem to be drawn in ink or paint. It almost looks like it's been carved into the wood somehow.
I reach out and touch the edge of the circle.
> bad move
ZZRRRP
***
> transfer complete
> warning: corrupted
Blood blood always need more blood the monster the hunger it calls not fair never fair why punish her. Stone stone they all turn to stone but stone doesn't bleed not good enough. Bleed bleed soon they all will bleed she doesn't want to except the part of her that does but the master requires it not true master yet all the same and besides she has done far worse so much worse long before she was called into this silly game...
***
ZZRRRP
...
Okay, the hell was that... and why do I feel so weak. And also like I'm on fire.
I get up and try to walk away, maybe find some help. I make it three steps before I collapse on the ground and everything goes dark.
> the end, return to page 3
> restart: iteration 15, day 1, early night
FUCK! Fuck fuck fuck! What the actual fuck!
> breathe dude
Bluh. Right. Breathe. Okay. I'm okay. Just breathe.
Gah. That sucked. It's strange, though. I don't seem to actually remember the pain when I restart after dying, you know? It's like I can remember thinking something hurts, but not the actual physical sensation. Maybe I'm just blocking it out or repressing it? Either way, good job, brain. You keep that up.
> so what was that about
I have no idea! The guy just likes showing up and stabbing people, I guess? Who does that?!
> what about the address
What about the -- FUCK.
I check my pockets. Of course I don't have the slip of paper Rin gave me. Shit. No inventory on respawn? This game sucks, man.
> get gud, noob
I can't remember the address either. I only gave it a quick look. Thought I had at least another day to memorize it. Shit.
Okay, calm down. It's all right. I'll just have to ask Rin for the address again this time. Nothing's really been lost. I look over the machine and the open notebook on my desk and --
Wait.
So... going back to that energy spectrum Uncle Shin said he could detect. He called the most common kind "G-Energy." The notes say it shows up on the detector as one green light and two to four blue lights, depending on the intensity of the signal.
"G-Energy." Holy Grail. Grail energy.
I'm an idiot.
> rethink everything
So let's assume that the dark energy Uncle Shin was tracking had something to do with this "magic" somehow. Which is in fact a thing. (Come on, worldview. We can do this. Just keep mentally swapping out "magic" for "sufficiently advanced technology of unknown origin" until the pain goes away. We'll get there eventually. Baby steps.)
I go back through the notebooks again. I keep getting drawn back to those date range calculations. The ones that just happen to match up with when the Grail War's getting started. That can't be a coincidence, right?
***
> skip to: iteration 15, day 2, early morning
I wait until they're back, then go down the street to Emiya's. No one answers when I knock, but the door's unlocked. I go in and wander out towards the back, where I know they are. "Hey, Tohsaka. About the Murder-Death-Kill -- who decides when it's gonna happen? Is it the Church or --"
"Who the fuck are you?!"
Rin points her arm at me like a rifle. Saber draws her invisible sword. Emiya... well... stays unconscious on the floor.
Oh. Right.
I... sort of skipped the introductions this time, didn't I. Took a rain check on that first meeting and the trip to the church, so I wouldn't have to go through meeting creepy priest or psycho loli again. Didn't really think too much about it.
> oops
I take a deep breath. "I'll come in again."
> no one expects the japanese inquisition
I spin around in place, then wave. "Hi! I'm Tomasu Tomonaga! I'm stuck in a time loop! Please help me!"
> our chief weapon is surprise
> surprise and abject groveling
Oh, God. It's just dawning on me. I'm going to have to go through this every single time I need something from them, aren't I? Which I am, because they're pretty much my only source of information. This... this is going to be maddening.
> yup
> better start getting used to it
I go through the whole thing all over again. Strangely enough, at the end of it, neither of them really feel like volunteering information to a stranger who literally just wandered in from off the street. Obviously, I'm going to have to work on my pitch.
The fact that Emiya is still lying on the floor bleeding probably isn't helping anything, either. "Look, it doesn't matter," Rin finally snaps as she switches out the bandages on his shoulders. "We're busy! Come back later -- unless you just want me to mind wipe you and be done with it."
"... actually, could you?" I scratch the back of my head. "A reset sounds pretty good right now, honestly."
"Just get out!" She points her index finger up above my head and fires off an energy blast. I take the hint and run.
***
> skip to: iteration 15, day 2, late morning
I wait until I'm sure Rin's gone, then I go back and try out my spiel on Shirou. He at least hears me out. "So what are you going to do now?" he asks when I'm finished.
"I have absolutely no idea." I rub my face. "I mean, this magic stuff sounds like my best lead and all. But other than asking Tohsaka, I've got no idea how to go about researching it."
He nods. "I can't really help you there myself. I only know what my dad told me, and he didn't say much."
"Honestly, the thing that's really stressing me out right now is how to convince you guys to listen to me every few days." I hesitate. "I know this is kind of a weird thing to ask, but... is there any kind of like... I dunno... password or something I could bring up next time that would prove to you I'm not just making shit up? Like... some kind of memory or something you haven't told anyone about?"
"Not really. Honestly, your best bet is probably just to look me in the eye and tell me the truth. I'll believe you then."
"... you will?" I blink. "Meaning... you believe me now?"
"Sure, why not?" He shrugs. "I just learned about Servants and the Holy Grail. I don't see any reason time loops couldn't be real, too."
That makes sense, I guess. All the same, given the clusterfuck this loop's already turned into, I can't help but be a little touched. "... huh. Thanks, man."
Well... as long as I'm pushing my luck... I glance over at the other person in the room. "So, um... Saber?..."
"I will follow the example of my Master." Saber sips her tea. She's just been sitting quietly next to Emiya this whole time, exuding this air of silent disapproval. "Regardless of my personal opinions on the matter." Something in her tone suggests I shouldn't push this topic of conversation any further, at least if I plan on keeping all of my organs.
I again decide to take the hint. "Right. Forget I asked."
***
> skip forward
Emiya shows me to the door. "Sorry I can't be of more help with this," he says. "It sounds like I'm probably going to be pretty busy with this Grail stuff from now on."
"No, yeah, I understand." I try not to look too frustrated.
"Still... if there's anything I can do... don't be afraid to ask, okay?" Shirou offers me his hand.
Dammit. Emiya's just too damn nice for his own good. "Thanks, man," I say. I reach out and shake.
ZZRRRP
***
> transfer complete
Fire and smoke. A little boy wanders alone through hell. "A hero of justice." "I'll do it for you, then." A weary man in a black kimono looks down and smiles.
***
ZZRRRP
"-- whoa, hey, what?" I jerk my hand back. "What the hell was -- did you see that?"
"See what?" Shirou tilts his head.
So that's obviously a no. "... uh. It's nothing. Guess I'm just tired. Thanks again, Emiya." I turn and trudge away.
The hell it was, though. That was no nothing. That was very clearly a something. But what kind of something?
***
> skip forward: iteration 15, day 4, morning
I spend the rest of the weekend trying to research magic in general as best I can. There's not a whole lot at the library or even online. By the end of things, I'm starting to feel like Dungeons & Dragons gave me a better overview than most of the stuff I've come across.
I manage to catch Emiya on the way to school Monday morning. "So how does magic work, anyway?" I ask, once I'm sure we're out of earshot of anyone. "I mean, how do you use it?"
"It's hard to describe." He scratches the back of his head. "My dad said that there were these things called Magic Circuits that only mages have. They activate if you know how to run your life energy through them."
"And how do you learn to do that?" I ask.
"It involves a lot of mediation. Some guided imagery exercises. At least, that's how Dad taught me." He shrugs. "Rin would probably be able to tell you more. Anyway, I'm not really supposed to talk about it."
"Got it." I glance around. We're approaching the school now. Sidewalk's getting a lot more crowded. "In general terms, though. What kind of... um... stuff can you do?"
"Not much. Structural analysis, mostly." We walk up the stairs towards his homeroom. "I can also reinforce certain materials. I use it to fix things."
"Huh." I scratch my chin. "Still. That sounds really useful, actually. Kind of like you're carrying around a scanner or an ultrasound or something..." I wonder if there's anything he could tell me about Uncle Shin's detector?
"Yo, Emiya!" someone else calls out. Oh, great, this asshole? What does he want?
I've basically followed Emiya straight up to his desk -- no big deal, since my homeroom's right next door. The guy who just hailed him is Shinji Matou. I don't really know the guy, but he has a reputation as an inexplicably popular douchebag. (Okay, maybe not that inexplicable -- his family's rich, after all.) My handful of dealings with him have only reinforced that impression.
"Oh, Shinji." Shirou glances at him. "Do you know Tomonaga? He's in class B --"
"Doesn't matter, don't care." Matou crosses the room and slams his hands down on Shirou's desk. Well, shit. Rude much? "Listen, did you hear about Mitsuzuri?"
"You mean Ayako?" Shirou furrows his brow. "I heard they found her, yeah."
"Who?" I ask, clueless as usual.
"She's in class A," Shirou mutters to me. "She went missing Saturday. That's why they let out school early yesterday."
"Seriously?" I raise my eyebrows. Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?
> why don't you ask
... yeah, fair.
"But did you hear about where they found her?" There's something deeply unsettling about Matou's smile. "I heard it was in a back alley in Shinto. They say her eyes were glazed over and her uniform in tatters." He licks his lips. "Doesn't it make you wonder? How a normal girl like her wound up like that? What do you think she's been getting up to at night?"
... what the fuck. I mean -- just... what the fuck? What the everliving shit is this guy's damage?! From his tone, I half-expect him to whip it out and start jerking it right here in front of us. And wow, there is a mental image I immediately regret from the bottom of my heart.
> yeah that's a twelve out of ten on the nope scale
I glance over at Shirou, if only to make sure I'm not the only one hearing this. His expression is totally blank. I think he's having so much trouble processing this that he's fallen back into DOS mode. Divide by zero, does not compute, please empty the human trash. He has balled up his hand into a fist, though.
For my part, the only thing I can think of to do is just get the fuck out. "I'll... see you later, Emiya," I say slowly. "I should... yeah." I walk out of the room. Note to self: in future loops, avoid that conversation. At all costs.
***
> skip forward
Lunch rolls around. Just another ten hours or so until I hit the reset point. I'm pretty much out of ideas now, though. Guess this loop really is a wash.
On a whim, I go down to the school library to see if they've got anything about magic and/or the occult. As one might expect, I come up with a whole lot of nothing. Regardless, I start digging through the mythology section, if only for the sake of thoroughness.
That's when I find it.
No, not a book. It's some kind of ornate circle, inscribed in dark red on the bottom shelf, surrounded by weird figures and hieroglyphics. It doesn't seem to be drawn in ink or paint. It almost looks like it's been carved into the wood somehow.
I reach out and touch the edge of the circle.
> bad move
ZZRRRP
***
> transfer complete
> warning: corrupted
Blood blood always need more blood the monster the hunger it calls not fair never fair why punish her. Stone stone they all turn to stone but stone doesn't bleed not good enough. Bleed bleed soon they all will bleed she doesn't want to except the part of her that does but the master requires it not true master yet all the same and besides she has done far worse so much worse long before she was called into this silly game...
***
ZZRRRP
...
Okay, the hell was that... and why do I feel so weak. And also like I'm on fire.
I get up and try to walk away, maybe find some help. I make it three steps before I collapse on the ground and everything goes dark.
> the end, return to page 3
i.6
- Location
- USA
Part I.6
> restart: iteration 16, day 1, early night
Wokay, all right. Don't touch the blood-red magic glyphs. See, I'm learning things. This is good.
> most people wouldn't need to learn that you know
Well, those people clearly aren't scientists. Anyway -- new loop. I've had time to think about my pitch. Let's get it right this time.
***
> skip forward
Shirou answers the door when I knock. "Uh... yeah?"
"Hey, Emiya." I cut him off before he can ask. "It's Tomonaga. Listen. About a half an hour ago, you accidentally summoned a woman named Saber. She and Rin Tohsaka are sitting in your kitchen right now telling you about this Holy Grail War you're now involved in. It has probably been the single weirdest night of your life, and that was before I showed up. Hi, Not Actually Satan," I add, glancing up towards Archer on the roof. He narrows his eyes.
I look back to Shirou. "I would now like to honestly explain to you and everyone how and why I know all of this. Can I come in, please?"
He stares at me for a moment. Then pushes open the door all the way.
I let out a deep breath. "Thanks." I walk inside.
***
> skip forward
"Oh, yeah. Those things," Rin says.
We're sitting in Shirou's kitchen again. They've decided to hold off on meeting Kotomine until the morning, since I told them about Berserker this time. Not that they believe me, exactly, but Shirou apparently ran into the creepy murder child himself at some point, so that's enough to raise some warning flags.
Otherwise, it's kind of interesting how much more easily Saber and Rin listen to me with Emiya around (not to mention conscious.) You'd think being so trusting -- to the point of maybe being naive -- would be a strike against him. But at the same time, I guess people want to trust him and his judgment? Wish I could figure out how he pulls that off.
Anyway, so I just finished telling them about the killer magic circle thing. "So what is it?"
"It's a sigil linked to the bounded field around the school," Rin says. "I just found it earlier today. Set up by one of the other Masters, no doubt."
"... to protect the students?" Shirou asks.
"Oh, of course not," Rin says cheerfully. "When it's set off, it'll turn the entire school into a bloody abattoir, killing everyone inside and funneling their souls directly into their Servant as raw mana. Pretty standard tactic, really. Classic Murder-Death-Kill 101." She sips her tea calmly.
Shirou and I exchange a glance.
"Oh, don't give me that look. I'm going to stop it. Besides, it's not even complete yet." Rin pauses. "In fact... for you to actually set off one of those glyphs ahead of time, before the caster triggers it..."
She thinks for a second. "Give me your hand."
"Uh... me? Okay, I guess..." I scooch around the table. She makes a motion in the air, then takes my palm. Okay, I think. Now don't blush. Don't blush. Fuck. Don't blush, dammit --
ZZRRRP
***
> download complete
He puts his hand upon her head. She smiles up at him. "Come home soon, Father..."
***
ZZRRRP
I blink. "Woah, hey, I just got something. Dude with a goatee. Red smoking jacket?" My eyes focus on Rin. "Was that your dad?"
"Tssh." She makes a sort of annoyed grunt and lets go of my hand, crossing her arms. "Well, that settles it. Looks like you have a few Magic Circuits of your own."
"I... do?" I blink. "So... what? I'm a mage?"
"HA! No. It's funny that you'd think that, actually." She covers her smirk with one hand. "You've got even less mana than Shirou does. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole memory-reading trick is the only thing you can do."
So much for spamming fireball, then. "... memory-reading?" I look down at my hand. "I'm psychic?"
"I guess that makes sense." Shirou rubs the back of his head. "Come to think of it... that thing you mentioned you saw when we shook hands. That sounds a lot like the Great Fuyuki Fire ten years ago."
I raise my eyebrows. "You were there?"
He nods. Jeez. I didn't know that.
"The truth is, Magic Circuits are more common than people realize." Rin shrugs. "Every now and again, they'll show up in a family as a result of some random mutation. Living in a mana-rich area like Fuyuki raises the odds some. Without training, though, most never even realize they have them. And even if they do, they usually just amount to a simple trick. It takes a lot more than that to be able to call yourself a mage."
"Okay... so... why does mine keep randomly kicking in?" I tilt my head. "And why hasn't it happened before now?"
"Who knows? If I had to guess, though..." She thinks. "Since you don't know how to control your Circuits, they probably just flare up whenever you touch a source of mana stronger than you. It's like air pressure. You've got less, so the energy flows into you.
"Up until now, you probably just haven't encountered a big enough mana source to activate it. Like me or Emiya. Or those sigils. Sounds like they're probably linked to the Servant they're supposed to channel mana to..."
"So... what should I do?" I examine my hands. "Should I just start wearing gloves all the time? Like the Psi Corps on Babylon 5?" Kinda like that idea, actually. Chekov was a total badass on that show.
"Oh, you don't have to go to that much trouble!" Rin smiles nicely. "I don't care about what memories you pick up from Shirou. And if you touch me again, I'll just murder you so hard, you won't be able to come back! Ever!"
I hastily raise my hands. "Okay, okay! Message received!" In retrospect, it might have been a mistake spoiling the whole Grail wish thing to Shirou earlier. Though it's not like he wouldn't have heard it from Kotomine eventually, right?
"Well..." Shirou scratches his chest awkwardly. Come to think of it, he already has this huge bloody gash through the front of his jacket, even before meeting Berserker. I wonder how I missed that before. Behind him, I notice Saber eying me. She doesn't say a word, but something about her look gives me the impression that Rin's no-touchee-or-else rule should go double for her. "If learning to control it will help... I guess there's one or two basic things I could show you."
Rin coughs. "Blind leading the blind," she mumbles under her breath.
***
> skip forward: iteration 16, day 2, afternoon
So after they go to see Kotomine, I start my Jedi training with Shirou. He wasn't kidding about it being basic. To start with, he just shows me how to meditate. I work on that by myself for a few hours while he goes to drop off Ms. Fujimura's lunch -- one of the teachers at school; I guess she's his legal guardian or something? -- and comes back.
"So is this what you do all the time?" I ask at one point. We're out in the tool shed behind his house. It's littered with all sorts of half-dismantled junk. I sit cross-legged on top of a minifridge that's missing its door. "Just hang out and train?"
He shrugs. "Well, I've got a part-time job... but otherwise, yeah. Basically."
"Training for what, though?"
He scratches the back of his head. "It's... kind of complicated..."
"Wait..." Something from that batch of memories I absorbed from him tickles at the back of my mind. Hero of justice... "Are you trying to be Batman?"
"What?" Shirou blinks. "No, of course not. That'd just be silly, I mean..."
I look at him.
He shifts his eyes. "... maybe."
> the dork knight rises
There is only one possible way I could react to this information. "Awesome," I state, certain beyond all doubt that I speak the objective truth.
Shirou looks up. "Wait. But Batman doesn't have any powers."
"Okay. So you're trying to be Low-Level Magic Batman." Would that make him John Constantine? Eh, nah. I really can't see Emiya as any sort of con artist. Guy's way too Lawful Good.
"I... guess?"
I grin. "Dude. That's freaking amazing!"
Shirou raises his eyebrows. "You really think so?"
"Hell yeah! Who wouldn't?!"
"Huh." He slumps against the wall contemplatively. "Most people tell me it sounds kinda dumb..."
"Whaaat." That makes no sense to me. "Fuck that noise, man."
"Heh. I guess. Besides, it's not just for my sake, you know?" He shrugs. "Back when I was a kid, my dad told me he had this dream he was never able to achieve. He really wanted to be this ideal hero of justice -- someone who could save everyone in front of them. He was pretty sick at that point. So I told him I'd do it for him."
I nod solemnly. "Respectable origin story. Like the whole passing the torch theme." Bonus points for being a tragic orphan, too -- though even I know better than to actually say that out loud. "So you're halfway there, though, right? You've got training... stuff you can use to make gadgets..."
"See, exactly! Thank you!" Shirou throws up his arms. "Everyone else just calls me a hoarder."
"You've got the big house... and..." My eyes go wide. I clap my hands over my mouth. "Dude. Dude."
"What?"
"You've got an Alfred now!" I'm so excited, my voice comes out as a kind of hissed squeal. "Even better! Hot Lady Alfred!"
He gets a pained expression on his face and rubs the back of his neck. "I... really don't want to think of Saber that way, you know?"
"But it's so perfect!" Bet she'd look good in a tuxedo, too. I mean, damn.
> you're not wrong
"So... wait..." Shirou pauses. "Wouldn't that make you Robin in this metaphor?"
"Nah, I'm not --" My face goes pale. "... oh. Oh, God. You're right. I think it does." There are a few revelations about one's place in the universe that there's no coming back from. Realizing that you're one of nature's sidekicks is one of them. "It's okay, though, right? Maybe I can work my way up to Nightwing? Eventually, I mean?"
> existential crisis on infinite earths
It's okay, I tell myself. You can make this work. And you don't have to wear the green underpants. That hasn't been a part of the costume for years, right? I don't actually know. I've never really read the comics. Just watched the cartoon.
Shirou gives me a sympathetic, if somewhat unconvincing, nod.
There's a knock. Saber slides open the door and comes in with a teapot on a tray. "I made myself tea," she says. "I thought you might like some."
"Oh, perfect. Thanks, Saber." Shirou takes a cup as she places the tray on the floor.
"Of course." She stands up solemnly. "Now... will that be all, Master Shirou?"
We both stare at her with wide eyes. I don't think I even breathe up until I finally detect the tiny hint of a smile she has on her face.
That's when I start laughing.
Can't help it. Oh, God, Shirou's face -- it's priceless. He looks like a mouse that's just wandered into the middle of a lion convention. He finally manages to squeak, "Saber..."
"I regret that I no longer have access to formal wear." She raises her eyebrows thoughtfully. "If you like, though, I could start growing the mustache..."
Still laughing, by the way. "But how -- you're a freaking Viking or something!" I gasp out between convulsions. "How do you -- how could you even -- shit!" I overbalance and fall off the minifridge.
***
> skip to: iteration 16, day 2, evening
So it turns out that Grail Servants get a certain amount of modern pop culture knowledge downloaded into their heads when they're first summoned, along with stuff like modern Japanese and how to use indoor plumbing. Makes sense, I suppose.
> you know
> for someone who said people were out of your wheelhouse
> you don't seem to be doing too bad at the whole social thing
Huh. You think?
> uh yeah
... guess I really haven't thought about it all that much. At the start of things, I was so worked up, I just kind of forgot to give a shit, you know? I've more or less been riding that wave of anxiety ever since.
But let's be real here. I mean, it's not like I'm charming the socks off of anyone. They just barely trust me right now, and I'm pretty sure that's only because I come across as mostly harmless. Well, okay. Emiya might be the exception, but he's easy mode. I'm pretty sure he'd bend over backwards for anyone who asks nicely.
> true but still
> maybe you just think you're bad with people as opposed to actually being bad at it
... maybe. I remain unconvinced. Anyway, let's pick this up later. I need to talk to Rin now. You're gonna mess up my groove, you know?
> okay okay
> walk up to the tohsaka residence
So in spite of me ruining her "in" with Baeber last night, I'd still managed to talk Rin into looking up the Animusphere address for me again.
> sigh
What?
> nothing
> go on
I knock. "So how goes boot camp, maggot?" Rin asks by way of greeting when she opens the door.
"Uh, okay, I think?" I adjust the gloves that I had -- very carefully and deliberately -- chosen to wear. "Seems pretty simple so far..."
"Filthy casuals," she mutters.
I raise my eyebrows. "Huh. Didn't think you were the video game type."
"Video what? Oh, never mind -- here." She passes me a familiar slip of paper. "Now get out of here. You know your teacher and I are at war now, right?"
I check the slip to make sure the address is there. "I know you wind up allied with him again tomorrow night."
She scoffs. "Don't be ridiculous."
"Bet you a thousand yen."
"You're on."
> is that really a good idea
C'mon, please. For all her talk, you really think Rin has it in her to actually fight and/or kill Shirou? That's not going to change just to spite me out of a Noguchi.
Um. Probably.
She studies me for a second, her eyes narrowed. "... you said your name was Tomonaga, right?"
"Uh, yeah? Why?" Hold on, this seems familiar.
"Never mind. It's nothing. Try not to get yourself killed on the way back." She starts to close the door.
> time to play 'follow that event flag'
"Wait wait wait." I put my foot in the door. "That doesn't sound like nothing. What is it? What about my name?"
She crosses her arms. "Fine, whatever. It's not a big deal or anything. I was just wondering...
"... did you know a Shin Tomonaga?"
> restart: iteration 16, day 1, early night
Wokay, all right. Don't touch the blood-red magic glyphs. See, I'm learning things. This is good.
> most people wouldn't need to learn that you know
Well, those people clearly aren't scientists. Anyway -- new loop. I've had time to think about my pitch. Let's get it right this time.
***
> skip forward
Shirou answers the door when I knock. "Uh... yeah?"
"Hey, Emiya." I cut him off before he can ask. "It's Tomonaga. Listen. About a half an hour ago, you accidentally summoned a woman named Saber. She and Rin Tohsaka are sitting in your kitchen right now telling you about this Holy Grail War you're now involved in. It has probably been the single weirdest night of your life, and that was before I showed up. Hi, Not Actually Satan," I add, glancing up towards Archer on the roof. He narrows his eyes.
I look back to Shirou. "I would now like to honestly explain to you and everyone how and why I know all of this. Can I come in, please?"
He stares at me for a moment. Then pushes open the door all the way.
I let out a deep breath. "Thanks." I walk inside.
***
> skip forward
"Oh, yeah. Those things," Rin says.
We're sitting in Shirou's kitchen again. They've decided to hold off on meeting Kotomine until the morning, since I told them about Berserker this time. Not that they believe me, exactly, but Shirou apparently ran into the creepy murder child himself at some point, so that's enough to raise some warning flags.
Otherwise, it's kind of interesting how much more easily Saber and Rin listen to me with Emiya around (not to mention conscious.) You'd think being so trusting -- to the point of maybe being naive -- would be a strike against him. But at the same time, I guess people want to trust him and his judgment? Wish I could figure out how he pulls that off.
Anyway, so I just finished telling them about the killer magic circle thing. "So what is it?"
"It's a sigil linked to the bounded field around the school," Rin says. "I just found it earlier today. Set up by one of the other Masters, no doubt."
"... to protect the students?" Shirou asks.
"Oh, of course not," Rin says cheerfully. "When it's set off, it'll turn the entire school into a bloody abattoir, killing everyone inside and funneling their souls directly into their Servant as raw mana. Pretty standard tactic, really. Classic Murder-Death-Kill 101." She sips her tea calmly.
Shirou and I exchange a glance.
"Oh, don't give me that look. I'm going to stop it. Besides, it's not even complete yet." Rin pauses. "In fact... for you to actually set off one of those glyphs ahead of time, before the caster triggers it..."
She thinks for a second. "Give me your hand."
"Uh... me? Okay, I guess..." I scooch around the table. She makes a motion in the air, then takes my palm. Okay, I think. Now don't blush. Don't blush. Fuck. Don't blush, dammit --
ZZRRRP
***
> download complete
He puts his hand upon her head. She smiles up at him. "Come home soon, Father..."
***
ZZRRRP
I blink. "Woah, hey, I just got something. Dude with a goatee. Red smoking jacket?" My eyes focus on Rin. "Was that your dad?"
"Tssh." She makes a sort of annoyed grunt and lets go of my hand, crossing her arms. "Well, that settles it. Looks like you have a few Magic Circuits of your own."
"I... do?" I blink. "So... what? I'm a mage?"
"HA! No. It's funny that you'd think that, actually." She covers her smirk with one hand. "You've got even less mana than Shirou does. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole memory-reading trick is the only thing you can do."
So much for spamming fireball, then. "... memory-reading?" I look down at my hand. "I'm psychic?"
"I guess that makes sense." Shirou rubs the back of his head. "Come to think of it... that thing you mentioned you saw when we shook hands. That sounds a lot like the Great Fuyuki Fire ten years ago."
I raise my eyebrows. "You were there?"
He nods. Jeez. I didn't know that.
"The truth is, Magic Circuits are more common than people realize." Rin shrugs. "Every now and again, they'll show up in a family as a result of some random mutation. Living in a mana-rich area like Fuyuki raises the odds some. Without training, though, most never even realize they have them. And even if they do, they usually just amount to a simple trick. It takes a lot more than that to be able to call yourself a mage."
"Okay... so... why does mine keep randomly kicking in?" I tilt my head. "And why hasn't it happened before now?"
"Who knows? If I had to guess, though..." She thinks. "Since you don't know how to control your Circuits, they probably just flare up whenever you touch a source of mana stronger than you. It's like air pressure. You've got less, so the energy flows into you.
"Up until now, you probably just haven't encountered a big enough mana source to activate it. Like me or Emiya. Or those sigils. Sounds like they're probably linked to the Servant they're supposed to channel mana to..."
"So... what should I do?" I examine my hands. "Should I just start wearing gloves all the time? Like the Psi Corps on Babylon 5?" Kinda like that idea, actually. Chekov was a total badass on that show.
"Oh, you don't have to go to that much trouble!" Rin smiles nicely. "I don't care about what memories you pick up from Shirou. And if you touch me again, I'll just murder you so hard, you won't be able to come back! Ever!"
I hastily raise my hands. "Okay, okay! Message received!" In retrospect, it might have been a mistake spoiling the whole Grail wish thing to Shirou earlier. Though it's not like he wouldn't have heard it from Kotomine eventually, right?
"Well..." Shirou scratches his chest awkwardly. Come to think of it, he already has this huge bloody gash through the front of his jacket, even before meeting Berserker. I wonder how I missed that before. Behind him, I notice Saber eying me. She doesn't say a word, but something about her look gives me the impression that Rin's no-touchee-or-else rule should go double for her. "If learning to control it will help... I guess there's one or two basic things I could show you."
Rin coughs. "Blind leading the blind," she mumbles under her breath.
***
> skip forward: iteration 16, day 2, afternoon
So after they go to see Kotomine, I start my Jedi training with Shirou. He wasn't kidding about it being basic. To start with, he just shows me how to meditate. I work on that by myself for a few hours while he goes to drop off Ms. Fujimura's lunch -- one of the teachers at school; I guess she's his legal guardian or something? -- and comes back.
"So is this what you do all the time?" I ask at one point. We're out in the tool shed behind his house. It's littered with all sorts of half-dismantled junk. I sit cross-legged on top of a minifridge that's missing its door. "Just hang out and train?"
He shrugs. "Well, I've got a part-time job... but otherwise, yeah. Basically."
"Training for what, though?"
He scratches the back of his head. "It's... kind of complicated..."
"Wait..." Something from that batch of memories I absorbed from him tickles at the back of my mind. Hero of justice... "Are you trying to be Batman?"
"What?" Shirou blinks. "No, of course not. That'd just be silly, I mean..."
I look at him.
He shifts his eyes. "... maybe."
> the dork knight rises
There is only one possible way I could react to this information. "Awesome," I state, certain beyond all doubt that I speak the objective truth.
Shirou looks up. "Wait. But Batman doesn't have any powers."
"Okay. So you're trying to be Low-Level Magic Batman." Would that make him John Constantine? Eh, nah. I really can't see Emiya as any sort of con artist. Guy's way too Lawful Good.
"I... guess?"
I grin. "Dude. That's freaking amazing!"
Shirou raises his eyebrows. "You really think so?"
"Hell yeah! Who wouldn't?!"
"Huh." He slumps against the wall contemplatively. "Most people tell me it sounds kinda dumb..."
"Whaaat." That makes no sense to me. "Fuck that noise, man."
"Heh. I guess. Besides, it's not just for my sake, you know?" He shrugs. "Back when I was a kid, my dad told me he had this dream he was never able to achieve. He really wanted to be this ideal hero of justice -- someone who could save everyone in front of them. He was pretty sick at that point. So I told him I'd do it for him."
I nod solemnly. "Respectable origin story. Like the whole passing the torch theme." Bonus points for being a tragic orphan, too -- though even I know better than to actually say that out loud. "So you're halfway there, though, right? You've got training... stuff you can use to make gadgets..."
"See, exactly! Thank you!" Shirou throws up his arms. "Everyone else just calls me a hoarder."
"You've got the big house... and..." My eyes go wide. I clap my hands over my mouth. "Dude. Dude."
"What?"
"You've got an Alfred now!" I'm so excited, my voice comes out as a kind of hissed squeal. "Even better! Hot Lady Alfred!"
He gets a pained expression on his face and rubs the back of his neck. "I... really don't want to think of Saber that way, you know?"
"But it's so perfect!" Bet she'd look good in a tuxedo, too. I mean, damn.
> you're not wrong
"So... wait..." Shirou pauses. "Wouldn't that make you Robin in this metaphor?"
"Nah, I'm not --" My face goes pale. "... oh. Oh, God. You're right. I think it does." There are a few revelations about one's place in the universe that there's no coming back from. Realizing that you're one of nature's sidekicks is one of them. "It's okay, though, right? Maybe I can work my way up to Nightwing? Eventually, I mean?"
> existential crisis on infinite earths
It's okay, I tell myself. You can make this work. And you don't have to wear the green underpants. That hasn't been a part of the costume for years, right? I don't actually know. I've never really read the comics. Just watched the cartoon.
Shirou gives me a sympathetic, if somewhat unconvincing, nod.
There's a knock. Saber slides open the door and comes in with a teapot on a tray. "I made myself tea," she says. "I thought you might like some."
"Oh, perfect. Thanks, Saber." Shirou takes a cup as she places the tray on the floor.
"Of course." She stands up solemnly. "Now... will that be all, Master Shirou?"
We both stare at her with wide eyes. I don't think I even breathe up until I finally detect the tiny hint of a smile she has on her face.
That's when I start laughing.
Can't help it. Oh, God, Shirou's face -- it's priceless. He looks like a mouse that's just wandered into the middle of a lion convention. He finally manages to squeak, "Saber..."
"I regret that I no longer have access to formal wear." She raises her eyebrows thoughtfully. "If you like, though, I could start growing the mustache..."
Still laughing, by the way. "But how -- you're a freaking Viking or something!" I gasp out between convulsions. "How do you -- how could you even -- shit!" I overbalance and fall off the minifridge.
***
> skip to: iteration 16, day 2, evening
So it turns out that Grail Servants get a certain amount of modern pop culture knowledge downloaded into their heads when they're first summoned, along with stuff like modern Japanese and how to use indoor plumbing. Makes sense, I suppose.
> you know
> for someone who said people were out of your wheelhouse
> you don't seem to be doing too bad at the whole social thing
Huh. You think?
> uh yeah
... guess I really haven't thought about it all that much. At the start of things, I was so worked up, I just kind of forgot to give a shit, you know? I've more or less been riding that wave of anxiety ever since.
But let's be real here. I mean, it's not like I'm charming the socks off of anyone. They just barely trust me right now, and I'm pretty sure that's only because I come across as mostly harmless. Well, okay. Emiya might be the exception, but he's easy mode. I'm pretty sure he'd bend over backwards for anyone who asks nicely.
> true but still
> maybe you just think you're bad with people as opposed to actually being bad at it
... maybe. I remain unconvinced. Anyway, let's pick this up later. I need to talk to Rin now. You're gonna mess up my groove, you know?
> okay okay
> walk up to the tohsaka residence
So in spite of me ruining her "in" with Baeber last night, I'd still managed to talk Rin into looking up the Animusphere address for me again.
> sigh
What?
> nothing
> go on
I knock. "So how goes boot camp, maggot?" Rin asks by way of greeting when she opens the door.
"Uh, okay, I think?" I adjust the gloves that I had -- very carefully and deliberately -- chosen to wear. "Seems pretty simple so far..."
"Filthy casuals," she mutters.
I raise my eyebrows. "Huh. Didn't think you were the video game type."
"Video what? Oh, never mind -- here." She passes me a familiar slip of paper. "Now get out of here. You know your teacher and I are at war now, right?"
I check the slip to make sure the address is there. "I know you wind up allied with him again tomorrow night."
She scoffs. "Don't be ridiculous."
"Bet you a thousand yen."
"You're on."
> is that really a good idea
C'mon, please. For all her talk, you really think Rin has it in her to actually fight and/or kill Shirou? That's not going to change just to spite me out of a Noguchi.
Um. Probably.
She studies me for a second, her eyes narrowed. "... you said your name was Tomonaga, right?"
"Uh, yeah? Why?" Hold on, this seems familiar.
"Never mind. It's nothing. Try not to get yourself killed on the way back." She starts to close the door.
> time to play 'follow that event flag'
"Wait wait wait." I put my foot in the door. "That doesn't sound like nothing. What is it? What about my name?"
She crosses her arms. "Fine, whatever. It's not a big deal or anything. I was just wondering...
"... did you know a Shin Tomonaga?"
i.7
- Location
- USA
Part I.7
> continue: iteration 16, day 2, evening
"You knew Uncle Shin?!"
"Keep it down!" Rin hisses, glancing to either side. "I have neighbors, you know?"
"Sorry, just --" I run my hands through my hair. "Rin, this is huge. Messing around with my uncle's tech is what got me into this whole mess. If he --"
"Hup bup bup!" She wags her finger at me. "When did I say we were on a first-name basis?!"
"Oh. Right, right. Sorry, Tohsaka." I flush and look away.
"That's better."
"So... um..." I scratch the back of my head. "... still. How did you know my uncle?"
"He was an acquaintance of my dad's." Rin leans against the doorframe. "At least, that's what he told me. I met him for the first time at the funeral."
"Wait... as in, your dad's funeral?"
"Mmh." She brushes back her hair. "Then after my mom died, he started coming by to check in on me every now and again. Help me out around the house with things I didn't know how to do -- plumbing, repairs, stuff like that. Took me out for ice cream sometimes. That kind of thing."
"Wow. I had no idea..." Wait, so both of her parents are dead? Shit... I guess it'd seemed weird to me before how empty her house felt. But I'd just figured her family must've been at work or out of town or something... "So then what?"
"Then nothing." Rin shrugs. "He had to stop coming when he got sick. Then he died. I presume you know about that, at least."
"Well, yeah..." There's no way this could be a coincidence. "So your dad was a mage, right? If he knew Uncle Shin... is there any chance he could have taught him about magic?"
"Absolutely not!" She rears up and crosses her arms. "Do you have any idea what the penalties for revealing secrets to normies are?! My father would never have risked dishonoring the Tohsaka name in such a way! And I never told Shin anything either, before you ask!"
"Okay, okay!" I hold up my hands. The way she's reacting, you'd think I accused her dad of being a war criminal or something. "Well... what if Shin was a mage? You said Magic Circuits can just randomly pop up in families, right?"
"Impossible," she snaps. "I would have sensed it. Even when I was a kid."
"You didn't sense me."
"That's because you're..." She hesitates. "Oh, there's no nice way to say this... your Circuits are so malformed, there's no way you could ever become a real mage. Even if Shin had been a rando like you, Father wouldn't have seen him as worth training. There'd be no point. You wouldn't even provide much as a sacrifice."
I try to ignore that last part and translate her lingo into terms I'm more familiar with. Sounds like normie means Muggle, and rando means... I don't know... some combination of Mudblood and Squib, I guess? "Listen, Rin -- I think Shin might've been researching magic stuff..."
"What did I just say about first names?!"
"Well, sorry!" I throw up my hands. "It's just shorter. One syllable instead of three, you know? That's the only reason I keep doing it."
"Oh, well, in that case! Should I just start calling you Tom then?" she demands. "Just to keep things snappy?"
"Well, I mean, you could." I rub the back of my neck. "It'd just be weird, because no one does."
"Whatever." She rolls her eyes. "Don't push your luck, Tomonaga."
> getting kind of off-track here
"So training's out," I say. "Could your dad have just talked to Shin about magic without breaking the law? If he was like me, I mean?"
She shakes her head. "I still can't see it. Randos might be a legal gray area, but it'd still look bad to the Association. Not to mention, most people frown on talking about craft with anyone outside the established families, much less with the uninitiated. Our standing would've suffered if Father had been found out. I can't see him risking it."
I blink. "So... why are you talking to me, then? Or Shirou?"
"Shirou's not uninitiated!" Her ears turn red. "His father showed him some things. And I wouldn't be talking to you if your situation wasn't so unique. And... well..."
She looks away. "... maybe I'm doing it for Shin."
I guess that makes sense. "... well, thanks. I appreciate it."
Rin shakes her head. "He really did help me out a lot back then. And he never let me pay him for any of it. I can't stand the idea of being in someone's debt." Her voice softens. "I miss him, you know?"
I nod slowly. "Yeah. Me, too."
There's a moment of silence. The sun's getting low.
"Though, dear God, was he gay," she adds.
"Oh yeah."
"Such a huge queen. Just massive."
"Yep," I agree. "Proud of it, too."
She looks away and smiles. Dammit. She looks so beautiful right now it honestly hurts.
> ...
> let's move on
***
> skip to: iteration 16, day 3, morning
I run over to Shirou's before school because I totally forgot to mention the whole him-getting-stabbed-in-the-arm-today thing. As a result, Saber wants to come with us to keep an eye on him. Shirou insists that she stay and rest, though. (Not entirely sure why, honestly?) He winds up winning out in the end, but promises he'll magically summon her with a Command Seal if things look serious. Because I guess that's a thing they can do.
***
> skip to: iteration 16, day 3, night
After school, I head back for dinner, then go over to Emiya's to keep practicing the meditation stuff. Shirou's not there. It takes a while for him to show up -- this time with a wound on his other arm. "Still?" I ask.
"What else was I supposed to do?" Shirou shrugs. "It was headed right for Rin's head."
Saber's clearly not happy. "I believe this illustrates my point from before, Master. With the other Servants on the move, it is a tactical error for you to travel unescorted."
"All right, all right." Shirou rubs the back of his head. "I guess you can come with me to school tomorrow. I'm not sure how I'm going to explain it to the teachers, though..."
"I am certain you will think of something."
"Oh, and Tomonaga..." Shirou fishes a thousand yen note out of his pocket and hands it to me. "Rin asked me to give you this."
"Aww, yeah." I grin and snatch the bill. "Easy money." See? Knew it was nothing to worry about.
> still wouldn't underestimate her
Right, right. She's still a scary lady. Her dere is starting to show, though.
I'd brought the detector with me for Emiya to take a look at. We sit down on either side of it on the floor of the tool shed. "Okay." I rub my hands together. "Let's fuckin' do this thing."
He eyes me. "You really like to swear a lot, don't you?"
"Oh, yeah." I scratch the back of my head. "Sorry, I can try to tone it down if you like. It's kind of a family habit, so I forget sometimes."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, my dad doesn't really care." I shrug. "And my mom... see, when they first met, she was in the Ground Self-Defense Force? And her unit spent a lot of time training with the US Marines, so..."
> that is a half-truth and you know it
Oh, what am I supposed to say? That Mom was a former delinquent? You know she hates it when I tell people about that.
"I think I get the picture. Trace on," he mutters. He puts his hand on the detector. "... huh." He furrows his brow. "That's weird."
"What is?"
He takes his hand off the machine and examines it. "I'm definitely channeling mana into it... but I'm not getting anything back. Like it's a black box or something."
I think for a second. "Let me try something." I take the battery out of my bag and wire it to the detector. "Try it again."
He puts his hand on it again. This time, three lights come on. One green, two blue. G-Energy.
"I'm still not getting a response." Shirou glances at the lights. "What do those mean?"
"It means it's official," I say. "My uncle built a working mana detector."
***
> skip to: iteration 16, day 4, early night
> so someone was asking if you've thought about ways to exploit the loop yet or not
Huh? How do you mean?
> like how bill murray learns to play the piano and stuff
Oh, so now you remember the movie. You're talking about using the loop to level grind on skills, right?
> bingo
Well, isn't that kinda what I'm doing? (Trying to meditate, BTW/FYI, this is less than helpful.) Aside from that, sure, I'll admit the thought's occurred to me. The thing is, though -- what would I even want to learn?
> is this gonna be like picking out a college major
I mean, most of the stuff I'm interested in, I already know how to do. I just want to know how to do them better. And I'm not sure I can get much further just studying on my own. Sooner or later, I'm going to need to ask someone questions, you know?
> you could learn how to fight
> just throwing that out there
Yeah, about that... there's not a whole lot of point in exercising if my body resets every three days. And even if -- I dunno -- I got Saber to show me some kenjutsu stuff or whatever, would that even transfer?
Huh. Actually, that brings up a good question. I wonder if muscle memory comes along with my mind when the loop resets. Or does it stay with the body? I don't actually know how any of that works. The neuroscience of it or whatever.
> probably worth looking into
Yeah, I wonder how I could test that... maybe try picking up a new video game? Something simple like Tetris. See if that transfers?
Anyway -- that said, I don't know if I'm really cut out to be a fighter. And I'd frankly prefer to spend my time researching Uncle Shin's tech or magic or whatever else I need to do to find a way off this stupid fourth-dimensional merry-go-round. I'm already bored out of my skull repeating the same exact classes over and over again. I don't know if I'm willing to go through that another dozen or so times just so I can learn to carve a penguin out of ice with a chainsaw.
> well if you need ideas for how to use this
> there have to be other stories about time loops right
> maybe take a look at some of those
Can't think of too many off the top of my head, actually. There was an episode of Star Trek, I think?
Oh. And I've heard of some fanfics that use it as a plot device. Never really read any of them, though. They all sounded kind of boring.
> dude too meta
> reel it back in
Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about sometimes, you know that? -- But it's like... if it's just a character going through the same events all over again, what's the point? Don't you already know what's going to happen? Where's the suspense?
> so you're saying that you need a story to surprise you
Kinda? I guess it's more that I need to feel like there's some possibility the heroes could lose, you know? Otherwise, there's no tension.
> careful what you wish for
... what's that supposed to mean?
> look out window
Huh? What do you... oh. Huh.
So I'm meditating in my own room tonight. Shirou and Saber got home from school way late, so I decided not to bother them. (I overheard some rumor about a foreign barbarian punching Shinji Matou across the room? Entirely unrelated, I'm sure.) It's after dark. Looking outside, I see Shirou jogging down the street away from his house. Which is weird.
> what do you mean
I don't see Saber anywhere. After yesterday, I could've sworn she wasn't going to let him out of her sight.
Something doesn't feel right here.
> do you want to go after him
... yeah. Yeah, I better. I mean, I don't have much time before the loop resets. But still... guess I can give it a shot, right?
***
> skip forward
So in the interest of saving time, I decide to go after Shirou on foot rather than grab my bike. This winds up being a tactical error. I'm not exactly the most physically fit person ever. Emiya, on the other hand? Is a frigging beast. I have no idea how long it takes for me to get within arm's reach of him. All I know is that I want to die at the end of it.
> why not just shout at him
I tried! He didn't react, just kept on going. Yet another point on the bad-feeling-o-meter. Struggling for breath, I grab his shoulder. "EMIYA!"
"... huh?" He finally seems to snap out of it. He stops and gives me a confused look. "What are you doing here? Wait... where are we?"
I'm too busy trying not to vomit to answer, so I just wordlessly flail at our surroundings. At this point, we're in the woods just outside of town, part of the way up the Ryuudou Temple mountain. The path we're on is marked by the occasional streetlight, but it's still dark enough to set off my personal nope-fuck-that alarm.
Shirou looks around. "... where's Saber?"
"I -- I dunno," I gasp out. "Back at your house... I think..."
"Really," a familiar voice says. "What a shame."
I swear that I feel my blood freeze inside my veins. I slowly turn.
Just off the side of the path, not four meters away from me, Illyasviel von Einzbern looks down on us from amid the trees. She's sitting on one of Berserker's beefy shoulders, his eyes glowing like the fires of hell.
"I'm disappointed, Shirou." She smiles. "Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not nice to keep a lady waiting?"
> continue: iteration 16, day 2, evening
"You knew Uncle Shin?!"
"Keep it down!" Rin hisses, glancing to either side. "I have neighbors, you know?"
"Sorry, just --" I run my hands through my hair. "Rin, this is huge. Messing around with my uncle's tech is what got me into this whole mess. If he --"
"Hup bup bup!" She wags her finger at me. "When did I say we were on a first-name basis?!"
"Oh. Right, right. Sorry, Tohsaka." I flush and look away.
"That's better."
"So... um..." I scratch the back of my head. "... still. How did you know my uncle?"
"He was an acquaintance of my dad's." Rin leans against the doorframe. "At least, that's what he told me. I met him for the first time at the funeral."
"Wait... as in, your dad's funeral?"
"Mmh." She brushes back her hair. "Then after my mom died, he started coming by to check in on me every now and again. Help me out around the house with things I didn't know how to do -- plumbing, repairs, stuff like that. Took me out for ice cream sometimes. That kind of thing."
"Wow. I had no idea..." Wait, so both of her parents are dead? Shit... I guess it'd seemed weird to me before how empty her house felt. But I'd just figured her family must've been at work or out of town or something... "So then what?"
"Then nothing." Rin shrugs. "He had to stop coming when he got sick. Then he died. I presume you know about that, at least."
"Well, yeah..." There's no way this could be a coincidence. "So your dad was a mage, right? If he knew Uncle Shin... is there any chance he could have taught him about magic?"
"Absolutely not!" She rears up and crosses her arms. "Do you have any idea what the penalties for revealing secrets to normies are?! My father would never have risked dishonoring the Tohsaka name in such a way! And I never told Shin anything either, before you ask!"
"Okay, okay!" I hold up my hands. The way she's reacting, you'd think I accused her dad of being a war criminal or something. "Well... what if Shin was a mage? You said Magic Circuits can just randomly pop up in families, right?"
"Impossible," she snaps. "I would have sensed it. Even when I was a kid."
"You didn't sense me."
"That's because you're..." She hesitates. "Oh, there's no nice way to say this... your Circuits are so malformed, there's no way you could ever become a real mage. Even if Shin had been a rando like you, Father wouldn't have seen him as worth training. There'd be no point. You wouldn't even provide much as a sacrifice."
I try to ignore that last part and translate her lingo into terms I'm more familiar with. Sounds like normie means Muggle, and rando means... I don't know... some combination of Mudblood and Squib, I guess? "Listen, Rin -- I think Shin might've been researching magic stuff..."
"What did I just say about first names?!"
"Well, sorry!" I throw up my hands. "It's just shorter. One syllable instead of three, you know? That's the only reason I keep doing it."
"Oh, well, in that case! Should I just start calling you Tom then?" she demands. "Just to keep things snappy?"
"Well, I mean, you could." I rub the back of my neck. "It'd just be weird, because no one does."
"Whatever." She rolls her eyes. "Don't push your luck, Tomonaga."
> getting kind of off-track here
"So training's out," I say. "Could your dad have just talked to Shin about magic without breaking the law? If he was like me, I mean?"
She shakes her head. "I still can't see it. Randos might be a legal gray area, but it'd still look bad to the Association. Not to mention, most people frown on talking about craft with anyone outside the established families, much less with the uninitiated. Our standing would've suffered if Father had been found out. I can't see him risking it."
I blink. "So... why are you talking to me, then? Or Shirou?"
"Shirou's not uninitiated!" Her ears turn red. "His father showed him some things. And I wouldn't be talking to you if your situation wasn't so unique. And... well..."
She looks away. "... maybe I'm doing it for Shin."
I guess that makes sense. "... well, thanks. I appreciate it."
Rin shakes her head. "He really did help me out a lot back then. And he never let me pay him for any of it. I can't stand the idea of being in someone's debt." Her voice softens. "I miss him, you know?"
I nod slowly. "Yeah. Me, too."
There's a moment of silence. The sun's getting low.
"Though, dear God, was he gay," she adds.
"Oh yeah."
"Such a huge queen. Just massive."
"Yep," I agree. "Proud of it, too."
She looks away and smiles. Dammit. She looks so beautiful right now it honestly hurts.
> ...
> let's move on
***
> skip to: iteration 16, day 3, morning
I run over to Shirou's before school because I totally forgot to mention the whole him-getting-stabbed-in-the-arm-today thing. As a result, Saber wants to come with us to keep an eye on him. Shirou insists that she stay and rest, though. (Not entirely sure why, honestly?) He winds up winning out in the end, but promises he'll magically summon her with a Command Seal if things look serious. Because I guess that's a thing they can do.
***
> skip to: iteration 16, day 3, night
After school, I head back for dinner, then go over to Emiya's to keep practicing the meditation stuff. Shirou's not there. It takes a while for him to show up -- this time with a wound on his other arm. "Still?" I ask.
"What else was I supposed to do?" Shirou shrugs. "It was headed right for Rin's head."
Saber's clearly not happy. "I believe this illustrates my point from before, Master. With the other Servants on the move, it is a tactical error for you to travel unescorted."
"All right, all right." Shirou rubs the back of his head. "I guess you can come with me to school tomorrow. I'm not sure how I'm going to explain it to the teachers, though..."
"I am certain you will think of something."
"Oh, and Tomonaga..." Shirou fishes a thousand yen note out of his pocket and hands it to me. "Rin asked me to give you this."
"Aww, yeah." I grin and snatch the bill. "Easy money." See? Knew it was nothing to worry about.
> still wouldn't underestimate her
Right, right. She's still a scary lady. Her dere is starting to show, though.
I'd brought the detector with me for Emiya to take a look at. We sit down on either side of it on the floor of the tool shed. "Okay." I rub my hands together. "Let's fuckin' do this thing."
He eyes me. "You really like to swear a lot, don't you?"
"Oh, yeah." I scratch the back of my head. "Sorry, I can try to tone it down if you like. It's kind of a family habit, so I forget sometimes."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, my dad doesn't really care." I shrug. "And my mom... see, when they first met, she was in the Ground Self-Defense Force? And her unit spent a lot of time training with the US Marines, so..."
> that is a half-truth and you know it
Oh, what am I supposed to say? That Mom was a former delinquent? You know she hates it when I tell people about that.
"I think I get the picture. Trace on," he mutters. He puts his hand on the detector. "... huh." He furrows his brow. "That's weird."
"What is?"
He takes his hand off the machine and examines it. "I'm definitely channeling mana into it... but I'm not getting anything back. Like it's a black box or something."
I think for a second. "Let me try something." I take the battery out of my bag and wire it to the detector. "Try it again."
He puts his hand on it again. This time, three lights come on. One green, two blue. G-Energy.
"I'm still not getting a response." Shirou glances at the lights. "What do those mean?"
"It means it's official," I say. "My uncle built a working mana detector."
***
> skip to: iteration 16, day 4, early night
> so someone was asking if you've thought about ways to exploit the loop yet or not
Huh? How do you mean?
> like how bill murray learns to play the piano and stuff
Oh, so now you remember the movie. You're talking about using the loop to level grind on skills, right?
> bingo
Well, isn't that kinda what I'm doing? (Trying to meditate, BTW/FYI, this is less than helpful.) Aside from that, sure, I'll admit the thought's occurred to me. The thing is, though -- what would I even want to learn?
> is this gonna be like picking out a college major
I mean, most of the stuff I'm interested in, I already know how to do. I just want to know how to do them better. And I'm not sure I can get much further just studying on my own. Sooner or later, I'm going to need to ask someone questions, you know?
> you could learn how to fight
> just throwing that out there
Yeah, about that... there's not a whole lot of point in exercising if my body resets every three days. And even if -- I dunno -- I got Saber to show me some kenjutsu stuff or whatever, would that even transfer?
Huh. Actually, that brings up a good question. I wonder if muscle memory comes along with my mind when the loop resets. Or does it stay with the body? I don't actually know how any of that works. The neuroscience of it or whatever.
> probably worth looking into
Yeah, I wonder how I could test that... maybe try picking up a new video game? Something simple like Tetris. See if that transfers?
Anyway -- that said, I don't know if I'm really cut out to be a fighter. And I'd frankly prefer to spend my time researching Uncle Shin's tech or magic or whatever else I need to do to find a way off this stupid fourth-dimensional merry-go-round. I'm already bored out of my skull repeating the same exact classes over and over again. I don't know if I'm willing to go through that another dozen or so times just so I can learn to carve a penguin out of ice with a chainsaw.
> well if you need ideas for how to use this
> there have to be other stories about time loops right
> maybe take a look at some of those
Can't think of too many off the top of my head, actually. There was an episode of Star Trek, I think?
Oh. And I've heard of some fanfics that use it as a plot device. Never really read any of them, though. They all sounded kind of boring.
> dude too meta
> reel it back in
Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about sometimes, you know that? -- But it's like... if it's just a character going through the same events all over again, what's the point? Don't you already know what's going to happen? Where's the suspense?
> so you're saying that you need a story to surprise you
Kinda? I guess it's more that I need to feel like there's some possibility the heroes could lose, you know? Otherwise, there's no tension.
> careful what you wish for
... what's that supposed to mean?
> look out window
Huh? What do you... oh. Huh.
So I'm meditating in my own room tonight. Shirou and Saber got home from school way late, so I decided not to bother them. (I overheard some rumor about a foreign barbarian punching Shinji Matou across the room? Entirely unrelated, I'm sure.) It's after dark. Looking outside, I see Shirou jogging down the street away from his house. Which is weird.
> what do you mean
I don't see Saber anywhere. After yesterday, I could've sworn she wasn't going to let him out of her sight.
Something doesn't feel right here.
> do you want to go after him
... yeah. Yeah, I better. I mean, I don't have much time before the loop resets. But still... guess I can give it a shot, right?
***
> skip forward
So in the interest of saving time, I decide to go after Shirou on foot rather than grab my bike. This winds up being a tactical error. I'm not exactly the most physically fit person ever. Emiya, on the other hand? Is a frigging beast. I have no idea how long it takes for me to get within arm's reach of him. All I know is that I want to die at the end of it.
> why not just shout at him
I tried! He didn't react, just kept on going. Yet another point on the bad-feeling-o-meter. Struggling for breath, I grab his shoulder. "EMIYA!"
"... huh?" He finally seems to snap out of it. He stops and gives me a confused look. "What are you doing here? Wait... where are we?"
I'm too busy trying not to vomit to answer, so I just wordlessly flail at our surroundings. At this point, we're in the woods just outside of town, part of the way up the Ryuudou Temple mountain. The path we're on is marked by the occasional streetlight, but it's still dark enough to set off my personal nope-fuck-that alarm.
Shirou looks around. "... where's Saber?"
"I -- I dunno," I gasp out. "Back at your house... I think..."
"Really," a familiar voice says. "What a shame."
I swear that I feel my blood freeze inside my veins. I slowly turn.
Just off the side of the path, not four meters away from me, Illyasviel von Einzbern looks down on us from amid the trees. She's sitting on one of Berserker's beefy shoulders, his eyes glowing like the fires of hell.
"I'm disappointed, Shirou." She smiles. "Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not nice to keep a lady waiting?"
i.8
- Location
- USA
Part I.8
> continue: iteration 16, day 4, early night
Why, hello, Mr. Adrenaline! All at once dozens of voices and thoughts swamp my mind, because holy shit we are so fucked. And all I can think about is what the shit do I do and Shirou doesn't know what to do either he's just standing there staring and there's no way out and oh dear God we're so boned and I really really don't wanna find out what it feels like to get torn apart by Berserker's bare hands...
> go left
I guess that it's moments like this that you find out who you really are. Because out of all that tumult, here's what I do --
I take a deep breath. I look the murder child right in her big red eyes. And I say -- well, okay, shriek: "FLIBBERTIGIBBET FORTY-TWO BAG OF PETUNIAS."
She blinks and tilts her head. "Ex... excuse me?"
"Those are TERRIBLE LAST WORDS RUN," I scream.
With that I grab Shirou's arm and drag him with me over the path's railing and into the woods.
> if you can't beat them confuse them
> not bad
Except it isn't going to work for long because I hear Berserker roar and then we're running for our lives down a steep hillside slope through the thick woods. I can barely see anything. I nearly stumble or twist my ankle half a dozen times. Then, suddenly, we're at the bottom of the hill, and to my shock Berserker isn't right on top of us.
> check on shirou
I lost my grip on Emiya's arm in the process of running. Through some miracle, though, he winds up right next to me as we emerge from the woods, looking utterly confused. "Why -- who was --" he starts.
"Berserker," I mumble. "We are so dead."
> speaking of death
I hear a sound overhead and look up. Out of the treetops fly a pair of white glowing transparent birds. They immediately zero in on us. Wonderful.
"Move!" I start running again just as the the birds -- I swear to God -- start shooting frigging laser beams down at us. Okay, they can't be actual lasers because I can see the pulses and we even have time to dodge them and oh hey there's the school. As in, our high school. We're actually pretty close to the back wall.
> fancy that
> take shelter
We manage to scramble over the fence just as the birds swing around for another attack run, then take cover beneath the eaves of the maintenance shed.
"Did we lose them?" Shirou mutters as we pause for breath.
I shake my head. No way in hell is that simple.
> call for help
I glance over at Shirou's hand. Right, the tattoos! Except they're not tattoos. You know what I mean. "Hey," I mutter, still gasping for breath. "Call Saber."
"Huh?"
"You can summon her here with one of those thingies, right? So call her."
He hesitates. "I dunno..."
"What don't you know about?!" I whisper. "They're gonna be here any second! Why would you --" I see the expression on his face. "Oh, for fuck's sake -- what, is this a pride thing?! Is this the whole Batman stoic-badass I-work-alone bullshit?"
"I don't like having other people fight my battles, okay?!" he retorts.
"Do you have a plan for this situation? This shit we're in right now?!"
"No!"
"Then you're not the goddamn Batman yet!" I hiss. "Call Saber call her right now!"
"All right, all right!" He holds up the hand with the Command Seals on it. "Saber -- come here!"
A vortex of light appears next to us as the mark on his hand glows. Saber materializes at the center of it, clad in her armor. Not quite your standard magical girl transformation montage, but close enough. She opens her eyes. "What is thy bidding, my --"
That's when Berserker grabs her by the neck and flings her through the wall of the gym twenty meters away.
I can only stare in shock as he leaps after her. When did he -- how the fuck can something that big possibly be that quiet?! "SABER!" Shirou yells.
I hear a giggle above us. "Took you long enough, Shirou." I look up to see one of the white bird things sitting on the eaves, looking down at us. The von Einzbern girl's voice seems to be coming out of it. "You're lucky I need Saber dead, too. No sense risking Caster trying something cute with her, after all."
"What the hell is that thing?" I mutter.
"It's a familiar, I think," Shirou whispers back. "They're, like... these puppet things mages can work through."
"If it wasn't for that, I'd have already collected you." The bird's eyes start to glow. "Speaking of which..."
I start to run just as it vaporizes the wall we were standing next to. "This way!" Shirou shouts. He leads me through the back garden and around the side of the main building, into the central schoolyard.
He stops once we turn the corner. "You keep running," he says. "Get to Tohsaka's if you can. Her house isn't far from here."
"What about you?" I ask.
"I'm going to go help Saber."
"Against that?!" I stare at him. "How?!"
"Dunno. I have to try." He turns and runs towards the gym.
I watch him go. Damn it... I run away towards the front of the school.
> don't be inspired by that or anything
I make it to the parking lot in front before guilt sets in. What the hell am I doing? Aren't I the one who gets to start over again? But... what the hell can I even do here?! I've got nothing aside from my --
Oh. I pull out my cell phone and dial emergency services.
> try again chief
It just gives me a bewildered beep. TOWER NOT FOUND, the display reads. NO SIGNAL. Oh, bullshit! I've made dozens of calls from this exact spot or close enough before! Why would -- oh. This must be magic shit. Hexes to keep the police from getting involved in Servant battles, something like that. Dammit.
I hear something like an explosion. A column of golden light stretches up to the sky above the roof of the administration building.
> what was that
I don't know! Something good, something bad? If my cell phone doesn't work, what else can I even do here?!
"Good. You're still here." Saber lands next to me, having leapt over the roof of the administration building. She looks like... well, the way you'd expect someone slammed through a concrete wall and then beaten on by a three-meter-tall muscle tumor to look.
Shirou looks even worse, though. She bridal-carries him in her arms. He seems barely conscious. He's got a hole straight through his chest, and everything below his right knee is a bloody mess.
"Here." She practically drops him onto me. "Get him to Rin's. I've done what I can, but Berserker's already regenerating. We need Archer."
I try to prop Shirou up next to me. We can probably move slowly, step by step, but the way that he's bleeding... "Saber, there's no way we can make it all the way to Tohsaka's. I need --" I shut up as I notice her eyes scan the parking lot.
***
> skip forward
Maybe ten or twenty minutes later, I'm driving the golf cart the school janitors use to haul mulch around like a maniac through the town streets, Shirou slumped over in the seat next to me. No clue how Saber managed to start it up without the keys. She just touched the wheel and it came to life. Magic. Magic shit everywhere.
It's still pretty slow going -- golf cart, remember -- so I've decided to pass the time by cursing out Shirou for being a dumbass. "How the shit did you expect that to end, anyway? I told you, didn't I? Archer, Saber and Rin working together could barely manage a draw with that thing! The fuck did you think you'd accomplish?!"
"Sorry..."
Are you supposed to keep dying people talking? I can't remember. They used an argument to survive torture that one time on Firefly, so I'm just going with it. "Don't sorry me! You know what Batman does?! Batman plans, all right?! Batman prepares. He knows when to run so he can come back and kick the villain's ass in the second act!"
"S'not Batman..."
"Well, fucking obviously!" I take a sharp left turn. Lucky thing the streets around here are so deserted at night.
"If a man... is not unattached to life... he will be of no use whatsoever."
"Huh?" I pause. Actually, that sounds kind of familiar. Where have I heard that before?
So that's when the front passenger side tire explodes.
"Shit!" I swerve. All that accomplishes, though, is sending us straight into someone's mailbox at top speed. Which isn't much 'cause golf cart. But something must've broken because I hear the engine die. "Shit."
> how far to rin's place
So close. We're barely a block away. I get up and pull Shirou out of the cart. We hobble off down the street, his arm braced over my shoulders.
Then we stop. Because four of those frigging bird things are hovering in the air in front of us.
The kid's voice giggles again. "Seriously? Did you really think I was just going to let you run away?" Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
> keep her talking
"Look!" I yell. "Just what the hell is it with you and Shirou anyway?! Why do you know his name?!"
"Let's just say... he took something that was mine." There's an edge in her voice now. I obviously touched a nerve.
"How?! He says he's never met you before!"
"I'm not required to explain myself to a mere rando," she snaps. "You've performed adequately as a retainer, but your obligation ends here. Give me Shirou or die."
Let's try a different tact. "Uh..." I eye the birds. "How?"
"Excuse me?"
"I mean... those things probably can't lift him, right?" I wave vaguely towards the golf cart. "And you just totaled our ride, so..."
"Um." This seems to give her pause. I may have just stumbled across mage Kryptonite: practical thinking.
> rocks and glass houses dude
Speaking of impractical, Shirou keeps struggling like he's trying to say something. Probably wants to give himself up heroically or some crap. Looks like that wound in his chest isn't doing him any favors when he's standing up, though.
"Oh, of course." The kid sounds like she just remembered her keys have been right in front of her the whole time. "Silly me. How could I forget -- it's not like I need all of him."
One of the birds morphs into a long, very sharp-looking sword. "Uh..." I stare. "Wait, what..."
Three birds -- including the sword -- blow up in mid-air.
"ONE HUNDRED PERCENT MAXIMUM NO CHILL!" Rin shouts triumphantly. Oh thank God.
> cue the calvary
I'd like to nominate that catchphrase for the most beautiful sound in the history of ever, please. The last bird dives out of the way. Archer easily picks it off.
Rin strides towards us. "Where's Baeber?"
"Uh -- at the school," I say. "With Berserker." If she's still alive, anyway...
"Archer -- go back up Saber!" Rin orders.
"You sure about that?" Archer eyes the four additional birds now arcing over a nearby row of houses towards us.
"Positive. Now move!" Archer vanishes. Rin looks at me. "You -- get Shirou inside! I'll handle this."
"Yes, ma'am." No arguing with that look in her eyes. Kinda reminds me of my mom on laundry day. I pull Shirou down the street as she turns and cracks her knuckles.
"Compassion from a Tohsaka?" the little girl's voice says as the birds close in. "Will wonders never cease."
"Can it!" Rin shouts. I hear that distinctive pew pew noise her magic missile thing makes.
We finally reach Rin's front door. I turn back to see her taking cover behind this huge glowing gem floating in midair as the two remaining birds fire down at her.
"Now listen up, you little demon!" Rin yells. "I know you're around here somewhere! Under the terms of the ancient contract between the Tohsaka and von Einzbern families, I hereby ban you from this estate! Our ancestors agreed that we'd never attack each other's houses, not even during Grail Wars, remember? So get off my front lawn, bitch!"
"Mmh, yeah," the little girl's voice says. "Here's the thing about that, Rin..."
I see a flash of white out of the corner of my eye. Before I can even think of reacting, it's over.
"... that wasn't so much a contract as it was an informal agreement."
The green gem dissolves into sparks. Rin stands in the street, the point of the white sword sticking out of her chest. She tries to speak, but nothing comes out. She falls to her knees, blood soaking into her red jacket. All I can do is stare and watch, frozen.
"And so ends the Tohsaka line. What a disappointment," the von Einzbern girl says dreamily. "Given the long history between our families, though, I will give you this much... a proper sendoff, worthy of a mage." There's the sound of a finger snap.
The blade stabbed through Rin's back explodes. The fireball consumes the width of the street. When the smoke clears, there's nothing left. Just a crater and a few scraps of ash.
That... that really just happened. Didn't it.
> get inside
Too late. "There." One of the birds alights onto the front gate. "Scattered amid the dirt, right where she belongs. As for you gentlemen... consider yourselves lucky. There's some charms on the actual house that I can't break through right now. Not without Berserker, anyway.
"But rest assured, Shirou... I will be back to collect what's left of you. Just as soon as my Servant's finished tearing yours into tiny, greasy little chunks. Ta ta!"
The bird flies off into the night.
***
> skip forward
> handle the damage
"Why?"
I look up from trying to bandage up Shirou's foot, a task complicated by the fact that I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. "Why what?"
Shirou stares out into space. "Why didn't you just hand me over?"
"Uh..." The question catches me off guard. We're in the entrance hall of Rin's house, just beyond the door. She must've known we were coming somehow. Even left out a first aid kit for us. "I... I dunno. Kind of seemed like she had it in for you, man."
Shirou's eyes are -- shit. They're just dead. Empty. "I shouldn't have run from her. I should never have let you talk me into it."
"Well... what else were we supposed to do?"
"Die."
"And the hell would that have done?!"
"Doesn't matter." He shrugs. "Rin would still be alive. That's the important thing."
I have no idea what to say to that. "Dude..."
"Just leave me alone." He shuts his eyes. "I'm sick of your voice."
Well... I've put tape and gauze around everything that seems to be actively bleeding. I get up and leave him slumped over on the chair by the front door.
Time to deal with my own impending breakdown, I guess. Joy. It's all okay, I tell myself over and over. She'll be fine. Any moment now, the loop will reset. I'll go back. She'll be fine, and none of this'll have happened. Any minute now. Annny minute.
Wait. What time is it?
I pull my cell phone out of my pocket. The front reads 12:06 AM.
> welcome to tuesday
> continue: iteration 16, day 4, early night
Why, hello, Mr. Adrenaline! All at once dozens of voices and thoughts swamp my mind, because holy shit we are so fucked. And all I can think about is what the shit do I do and Shirou doesn't know what to do either he's just standing there staring and there's no way out and oh dear God we're so boned and I really really don't wanna find out what it feels like to get torn apart by Berserker's bare hands...
> go left
I guess that it's moments like this that you find out who you really are. Because out of all that tumult, here's what I do --
I take a deep breath. I look the murder child right in her big red eyes. And I say -- well, okay, shriek: "FLIBBERTIGIBBET FORTY-TWO BAG OF PETUNIAS."
She blinks and tilts her head. "Ex... excuse me?"
"Those are TERRIBLE LAST WORDS RUN," I scream.
With that I grab Shirou's arm and drag him with me over the path's railing and into the woods.
> if you can't beat them confuse them
> not bad
Except it isn't going to work for long because I hear Berserker roar and then we're running for our lives down a steep hillside slope through the thick woods. I can barely see anything. I nearly stumble or twist my ankle half a dozen times. Then, suddenly, we're at the bottom of the hill, and to my shock Berserker isn't right on top of us.
> check on shirou
I lost my grip on Emiya's arm in the process of running. Through some miracle, though, he winds up right next to me as we emerge from the woods, looking utterly confused. "Why -- who was --" he starts.
"Berserker," I mumble. "We are so dead."
> speaking of death
I hear a sound overhead and look up. Out of the treetops fly a pair of white glowing transparent birds. They immediately zero in on us. Wonderful.
"Move!" I start running again just as the the birds -- I swear to God -- start shooting frigging laser beams down at us. Okay, they can't be actual lasers because I can see the pulses and we even have time to dodge them and oh hey there's the school. As in, our high school. We're actually pretty close to the back wall.
> fancy that
> take shelter
We manage to scramble over the fence just as the birds swing around for another attack run, then take cover beneath the eaves of the maintenance shed.
"Did we lose them?" Shirou mutters as we pause for breath.
I shake my head. No way in hell is that simple.
> call for help
I glance over at Shirou's hand. Right, the tattoos! Except they're not tattoos. You know what I mean. "Hey," I mutter, still gasping for breath. "Call Saber."
"Huh?"
"You can summon her here with one of those thingies, right? So call her."
He hesitates. "I dunno..."
"What don't you know about?!" I whisper. "They're gonna be here any second! Why would you --" I see the expression on his face. "Oh, for fuck's sake -- what, is this a pride thing?! Is this the whole Batman stoic-badass I-work-alone bullshit?"
"I don't like having other people fight my battles, okay?!" he retorts.
"Do you have a plan for this situation? This shit we're in right now?!"
"No!"
"Then you're not the goddamn Batman yet!" I hiss. "Call Saber call her right now!"
"All right, all right!" He holds up the hand with the Command Seals on it. "Saber -- come here!"
A vortex of light appears next to us as the mark on his hand glows. Saber materializes at the center of it, clad in her armor. Not quite your standard magical girl transformation montage, but close enough. She opens her eyes. "What is thy bidding, my --"
That's when Berserker grabs her by the neck and flings her through the wall of the gym twenty meters away.
I can only stare in shock as he leaps after her. When did he -- how the fuck can something that big possibly be that quiet?! "SABER!" Shirou yells.
I hear a giggle above us. "Took you long enough, Shirou." I look up to see one of the white bird things sitting on the eaves, looking down at us. The von Einzbern girl's voice seems to be coming out of it. "You're lucky I need Saber dead, too. No sense risking Caster trying something cute with her, after all."
"What the hell is that thing?" I mutter.
"It's a familiar, I think," Shirou whispers back. "They're, like... these puppet things mages can work through."
"If it wasn't for that, I'd have already collected you." The bird's eyes start to glow. "Speaking of which..."
I start to run just as it vaporizes the wall we were standing next to. "This way!" Shirou shouts. He leads me through the back garden and around the side of the main building, into the central schoolyard.
He stops once we turn the corner. "You keep running," he says. "Get to Tohsaka's if you can. Her house isn't far from here."
"What about you?" I ask.
"I'm going to go help Saber."
"Against that?!" I stare at him. "How?!"
"Dunno. I have to try." He turns and runs towards the gym.
I watch him go. Damn it... I run away towards the front of the school.
> don't be inspired by that or anything
I make it to the parking lot in front before guilt sets in. What the hell am I doing? Aren't I the one who gets to start over again? But... what the hell can I even do here?! I've got nothing aside from my --
Oh. I pull out my cell phone and dial emergency services.
> try again chief
It just gives me a bewildered beep. TOWER NOT FOUND, the display reads. NO SIGNAL. Oh, bullshit! I've made dozens of calls from this exact spot or close enough before! Why would -- oh. This must be magic shit. Hexes to keep the police from getting involved in Servant battles, something like that. Dammit.
I hear something like an explosion. A column of golden light stretches up to the sky above the roof of the administration building.
> what was that
I don't know! Something good, something bad? If my cell phone doesn't work, what else can I even do here?!
"Good. You're still here." Saber lands next to me, having leapt over the roof of the administration building. She looks like... well, the way you'd expect someone slammed through a concrete wall and then beaten on by a three-meter-tall muscle tumor to look.
Shirou looks even worse, though. She bridal-carries him in her arms. He seems barely conscious. He's got a hole straight through his chest, and everything below his right knee is a bloody mess.
"Here." She practically drops him onto me. "Get him to Rin's. I've done what I can, but Berserker's already regenerating. We need Archer."
I try to prop Shirou up next to me. We can probably move slowly, step by step, but the way that he's bleeding... "Saber, there's no way we can make it all the way to Tohsaka's. I need --" I shut up as I notice her eyes scan the parking lot.
***
> skip forward
Maybe ten or twenty minutes later, I'm driving the golf cart the school janitors use to haul mulch around like a maniac through the town streets, Shirou slumped over in the seat next to me. No clue how Saber managed to start it up without the keys. She just touched the wheel and it came to life. Magic. Magic shit everywhere.
It's still pretty slow going -- golf cart, remember -- so I've decided to pass the time by cursing out Shirou for being a dumbass. "How the shit did you expect that to end, anyway? I told you, didn't I? Archer, Saber and Rin working together could barely manage a draw with that thing! The fuck did you think you'd accomplish?!"
"Sorry..."
Are you supposed to keep dying people talking? I can't remember. They used an argument to survive torture that one time on Firefly, so I'm just going with it. "Don't sorry me! You know what Batman does?! Batman plans, all right?! Batman prepares. He knows when to run so he can come back and kick the villain's ass in the second act!"
"S'not Batman..."
"Well, fucking obviously!" I take a sharp left turn. Lucky thing the streets around here are so deserted at night.
"If a man... is not unattached to life... he will be of no use whatsoever."
"Huh?" I pause. Actually, that sounds kind of familiar. Where have I heard that before?
So that's when the front passenger side tire explodes.
"Shit!" I swerve. All that accomplishes, though, is sending us straight into someone's mailbox at top speed. Which isn't much 'cause golf cart. But something must've broken because I hear the engine die. "Shit."
> how far to rin's place
So close. We're barely a block away. I get up and pull Shirou out of the cart. We hobble off down the street, his arm braced over my shoulders.
Then we stop. Because four of those frigging bird things are hovering in the air in front of us.
The kid's voice giggles again. "Seriously? Did you really think I was just going to let you run away?" Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
> keep her talking
"Look!" I yell. "Just what the hell is it with you and Shirou anyway?! Why do you know his name?!"
"Let's just say... he took something that was mine." There's an edge in her voice now. I obviously touched a nerve.
"How?! He says he's never met you before!"
"I'm not required to explain myself to a mere rando," she snaps. "You've performed adequately as a retainer, but your obligation ends here. Give me Shirou or die."
Let's try a different tact. "Uh..." I eye the birds. "How?"
"Excuse me?"
"I mean... those things probably can't lift him, right?" I wave vaguely towards the golf cart. "And you just totaled our ride, so..."
"Um." This seems to give her pause. I may have just stumbled across mage Kryptonite: practical thinking.
> rocks and glass houses dude
Speaking of impractical, Shirou keeps struggling like he's trying to say something. Probably wants to give himself up heroically or some crap. Looks like that wound in his chest isn't doing him any favors when he's standing up, though.
"Oh, of course." The kid sounds like she just remembered her keys have been right in front of her the whole time. "Silly me. How could I forget -- it's not like I need all of him."
One of the birds morphs into a long, very sharp-looking sword. "Uh..." I stare. "Wait, what..."
Three birds -- including the sword -- blow up in mid-air.
"ONE HUNDRED PERCENT MAXIMUM NO CHILL!" Rin shouts triumphantly. Oh thank God.
> cue the calvary
I'd like to nominate that catchphrase for the most beautiful sound in the history of ever, please. The last bird dives out of the way. Archer easily picks it off.
Rin strides towards us. "Where's Baeber?"
"Uh -- at the school," I say. "With Berserker." If she's still alive, anyway...
"Archer -- go back up Saber!" Rin orders.
"You sure about that?" Archer eyes the four additional birds now arcing over a nearby row of houses towards us.
"Positive. Now move!" Archer vanishes. Rin looks at me. "You -- get Shirou inside! I'll handle this."
"Yes, ma'am." No arguing with that look in her eyes. Kinda reminds me of my mom on laundry day. I pull Shirou down the street as she turns and cracks her knuckles.
"Compassion from a Tohsaka?" the little girl's voice says as the birds close in. "Will wonders never cease."
"Can it!" Rin shouts. I hear that distinctive pew pew noise her magic missile thing makes.
We finally reach Rin's front door. I turn back to see her taking cover behind this huge glowing gem floating in midair as the two remaining birds fire down at her.
"Now listen up, you little demon!" Rin yells. "I know you're around here somewhere! Under the terms of the ancient contract between the Tohsaka and von Einzbern families, I hereby ban you from this estate! Our ancestors agreed that we'd never attack each other's houses, not even during Grail Wars, remember? So get off my front lawn, bitch!"
"Mmh, yeah," the little girl's voice says. "Here's the thing about that, Rin..."
I see a flash of white out of the corner of my eye. Before I can even think of reacting, it's over.
"... that wasn't so much a contract as it was an informal agreement."
The green gem dissolves into sparks. Rin stands in the street, the point of the white sword sticking out of her chest. She tries to speak, but nothing comes out. She falls to her knees, blood soaking into her red jacket. All I can do is stare and watch, frozen.
"And so ends the Tohsaka line. What a disappointment," the von Einzbern girl says dreamily. "Given the long history between our families, though, I will give you this much... a proper sendoff, worthy of a mage." There's the sound of a finger snap.
The blade stabbed through Rin's back explodes. The fireball consumes the width of the street. When the smoke clears, there's nothing left. Just a crater and a few scraps of ash.
That... that really just happened. Didn't it.
> get inside
Too late. "There." One of the birds alights onto the front gate. "Scattered amid the dirt, right where she belongs. As for you gentlemen... consider yourselves lucky. There's some charms on the actual house that I can't break through right now. Not without Berserker, anyway.
"But rest assured, Shirou... I will be back to collect what's left of you. Just as soon as my Servant's finished tearing yours into tiny, greasy little chunks. Ta ta!"
The bird flies off into the night.
***
> skip forward
> handle the damage
"Why?"
I look up from trying to bandage up Shirou's foot, a task complicated by the fact that I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. "Why what?"
Shirou stares out into space. "Why didn't you just hand me over?"
"Uh..." The question catches me off guard. We're in the entrance hall of Rin's house, just beyond the door. She must've known we were coming somehow. Even left out a first aid kit for us. "I... I dunno. Kind of seemed like she had it in for you, man."
Shirou's eyes are -- shit. They're just dead. Empty. "I shouldn't have run from her. I should never have let you talk me into it."
"Well... what else were we supposed to do?"
"Die."
"And the hell would that have done?!"
"Doesn't matter." He shrugs. "Rin would still be alive. That's the important thing."
I have no idea what to say to that. "Dude..."
"Just leave me alone." He shuts his eyes. "I'm sick of your voice."
Well... I've put tape and gauze around everything that seems to be actively bleeding. I get up and leave him slumped over on the chair by the front door.
Time to deal with my own impending breakdown, I guess. Joy. It's all okay, I tell myself over and over. She'll be fine. Any moment now, the loop will reset. I'll go back. She'll be fine, and none of this'll have happened. Any minute now. Annny minute.
Wait. What time is it?
I pull my cell phone out of my pocket. The front reads 12:06 AM.
> welcome to tuesday
i.9
- Location
- USA
Part I.9
> continue: iteration 16, day 5, early morning
Am... am I out? Oh, shit. What if I'm out?! What if there's no reset this time? Was -- was getting Rin killed my win condition? What the hell kind of fucked-up shit is that?!
Holy shit. I can't breathe. I think I'm going to throw up. Getting chills all over. I'm --
> don't freak out
How am I supposed to NOT FREAK OUT?! Rin's fucking dead! Saber and Archer, too, probably! And Shirou's right, it's all my fault -- I didn't mean to but -- and it could be for keeps this time! How is that not something worth freaking out over?!
> get some rest
... all right. I feel really tired anyway, now that you mention it.
I go upstairs and hole up inside a dusty guest bedroom. I guess I sleep some. I can't really tell. At one point I wake up and I check my cell phone for the time. Display reads 6:12 am. I stay there, huddled beneath the stale, itchy covers, and watch my phone as the seconds tick by and the battery level winds down.
6:35 am. I feel hungry.
6:41 am. Parents call me. I don't pick up.
7:12 am. They call me again, this time from their cell phones. Same.
7:35 am. I should probably go check up on Shirou or something.
8:01 am. I should probably go do a lot of things. I don't.
> do you get it now though
Get what?
> how you can lose here
What do you mean? Like... now? Like, I could exit the loop without knowing it, and wind up in some godawful mess of a future I've made for myself?
> it's a possibility
> but more than that
Just tell me, all right? I'm really not in the mood for the whole Socratic guessing game thing.
> even if the loop continues
> you can still get hurt
Well, duh. How many times have I died now?
> not physical pain
> you can see things that hurt you
... yeah.
> or worse yet
> you could just stop caring altogether
Wait... wouldn't that be a good thing for us, though? Then we wouldn't have to feel this way.
> is that who you want to be
I don't... look, this is stupid. We don't even know if I'm even in the loop anymore. So why even talk about this if --
***
> restart: iteration 17, day 1, early night
Oh.
Oh thank God. I never thought I'd be this happy to be back here again. Holy shit.
> take a moment
> catch your breath
Okay, okay. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathing. Centering myself. Fuck.
... so what does this mean? I'm still in the loop, but the reset point has moved forward in time? By about ten hours or so, I think. What caused it? Was it Rin's death? Is this like a blood magic thing?
> think carefully
> are you sure this is the first loop that's been like this
Huh... I guess there's no way for me to be sure of that, come to think of it. Both of the loops prior to the last one got cut short by me dying. The reset before last, I got myself killed by that magic seal thing. And before that, I was...
... wait.
Lancer.
***
> skip forward
Shirou answers the door, same as usual. "Uh, yeah?"
I know exactly what I need to say. But for some reason the words stick in my throat this time. Fuck, I'm tired.
"Wait... I know you, right?" Shirou tilts his head. "Tomo... nagi, wasn't it? Uh... can I help you with something?"
Oh, whatever. I sigh and rub my eyes. "Archer, don't fuck with me tonight, okay? Please? I'm kind of having a rough time."
Emiya blinks. "Uh..."
"So Rin and Saber are in there, right?" I motion towards the kitchen behind him. "Could I see them? It's important."
He stares at me. "How do you..."
"I'll explain in a second. Promise." I push him in front of me as I head through the door and towards the kitchen. "Just... let me tell you, man. I have seen some shit."
***
> skip forward
"And you think Lancer is the key?" Saber tilts her head. "Are you certain?"
"No." I scratch my head. "But it's the closest thing to a pattern I can see right now. Maybe his spear... like... generates this Z-energy stuff my uncle talked about. And that's what's doing this to me."
"So in that case, the loop extended because he stabbed you." Rin taps her finger against the table. Alive and in one piece, as expected. Thank God, again. "Which gave you more energy."
"I guess?" Wait -- so would that mean I'd have to get stabbed by Lancer again to confirm this? Really not liking the sound of that idea. "It's just my working hypothesis. Anyway, is there anything else you can tell me about Lancer?"
"Nothing that you don't already seem to know, I'm afraid." Saber shrugs. "He gave little indication about who his Master is, nor what their objectives are. Apart from winning the War, of course."
"I dunno," Shirou says. "Whoever he is, he seems to be really into mage law."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it's just... Lancer attacked me twice tonight." Shirou scratches the big bloody gash through his jacket. "The first time was at school earlier. He said it was to keep things secret, the way mage law says. Still not really sure how I survived that, to be honest..." Rin sips her tea carefully. "Then he followed me home and tried again, even though I showed him I was a mage. He said something about it being out of professional pride, but I'm not sure I buy that..."
"Maybe he could tell you were a Master by then?" Rin asks.
Emiya shakes his head. "I didn't summon Saber until after he attacked me. Well, kind of while he was attacking me, I mean."
"Huh. Weird," I say. "Guess they're all about secrecy, then." In fact, I wonder if that was the reason why Lancer killed me before. It would make sense.
"So his Master's a mage." Rin raises an eyebrow. "Brilliant deduction, noobs."
"I guess..." Except it'd really felt like Lancer had specifically sought me out. Knew my name and everything. Almost like...
> like it was his master's job to keep the war secret
"... hey, Rin?" I ask. "About this Kotomine guy... there's rules against him being a Master himself, right?"
She snorts. "Well, doy. Wouldn't be much of a referee if he was also a player, would he?"
"Let's say, just for the sake of argument, that he was a Master somehow. Is there any way you'd be able to tell?"
"Why?" Rin snaps. "It's completely impossible. The Grail's been hardwired to consider the Church a neutral third party ever since the Second War. And even if that wasn't the case, Kotomine probably wouldn't be eligible anyway, since he already was a master back... in... the last war..."
Her voice drops off as the contradiction dawns on her. I look back and forth between her and Shirou. "So... yeah."
***
> skip to: iteration 17, day 2, morning
Rin says she has some stuff she wants to check out. Given our little talk about Kotomine, she decides to skip the trip to church. It's not like I can't tell Shirou everything he would've learned from Kotomine anyway. (This time, though, I wait until after Rin's safely out of earshot.)
After that, it's back to the meditation stuff for me. Shirou also has some stuff to work on in that regard. When I'd described that trance state I found him in during the last loop, Rin said that it sounded like a long-range hypnotic charm of some sort. ("It's something that rookie mages are particularly vulnerable to," she'd said with a smirk. "Magic can have a strong influence over the weak-minded."
"Star Wars: A New Hope," I replied. "Nice."
"Star what? Anyway, there's some stuff you can do to prepare yourself against it. I'll tell you about it, but only because it'd be embarrassing seeing someone fall for a cheap parlor trick like that.")
So we're in the dojo this time. (Yeah, Emiya has his own freaking dojo.) Personally speaking, though, not really having an easy time concentrating today.
> ask shirou what his deal is
"Hey, Emiya?" I ask.
"Yeah?" On the other side of the room, he opens one eye.
"So last time, you said this one thing I've been wondering about." I'd been... vague when telling him and Rin on what'd happened after Berserker ambushed us. Didn't seem necessary for them to know exactly how bad things went. "Something about... uh... not being unattached to life? Sounded like you were referencing something."
He thinks for a second. "Oh. Was it: 'if a warrior is not unattached to life and death, he will be of no use whatsoever'?" He rattles off the line like it's second nature to him.
"Think so, yeah. What's it from?"
"This old book my dad left me. The Hagakure."
Hagakure... I know I've heard of that somewhere before. In school, in a humanities or history class or something. It's...
... oh. Right.
Something finally clicks for me. It's not just about Batman for Shirou. It's about bushido.
> explain
The old samurai code. The Hagakure is a book about it. It's kind of hard to describe if you're not Japanese. It's about putting your ideals before your own life. Absolute loyalty and sacrifice. Death before dishonor. Stuff like that. It comes up a lot in period dramas.
> is it a big deal
Kind of? For me, at least, it's more like... cultural background noise, I guess? I know what it is, and I know that it's a thing. But I've personally never really thought about it all that much. It used to be a huge deal back during the Second World War, of course. To the point that it's almost been a problem. Like, this one thing I read -- some creator commentary on an anime, I think -- said that bushido before the war represented everything a Japanese man was supposed to be. When we lost, though, it kind of shattered that whole belief system. Ever since then, this guy said, we haven't really known what to do with ourselves. On a cultural level or whatever. (After that, it mostly just turned into a rant about kids these days and the decline in societal values and what the hell is up with these new game shows, but in any case.)
> so what does this have to do with shirou
A lot of the way he reacts to stuff makes a lot more sense when you factor bushido into this hero of justice thing he's trying to become. (I guess I focused too much on the whole Batman thing. Sure, Batman has samurai-like aspects, but he's more than willing to fight dirty if it helps save people, you know? Straight-up bushido doesn't really let you to do stuff like that, I think.)
Like... of course Shirou would hate relying on Saber to fight for him. A real warrior should be strong enough to fight his own battles and value his comrades' lives above his own. (I guess throwing himself into the fight with Saber is kind of his way of trying to find a middle ground? Even if he's more likely to get in her way more than anything.) Of course he'd think running from Berserker was a mistake, because a samurai never flees from an enemy, no matter how terrible the odds are.
> but doesn't that make victory less likely
Yeah, but that's not supposed to matter. It's hard to put into words. It's like... it's the ideal that matters above all else. Victory or defeat is comparatively unimportant by comparison, so long as you act correctly.
> that doesn't seem very realistic
Yeah, but that's part of it too. Reality is something you're supposed to overcome, I guess, through pure willpower and awesomeness. It's like... if you don't win, oh well, you clearly just didn't bushido hard enough, them's the breaks. But at least you acted the way you were supposed to. Like a real man.
(Guess it makes sense Shirou would glom onto that stuff, actually... he had to grow up at least part of the way without his dad, right? So he'd need something else to tell him the way he's supposed to act. Some way to fill in the blanks.)
> so are you going to talk to him about it
I dunno. Should I? I mean, is any of this even any of my business? And who am I to criticize, anyway? -- Also, I've kind of been sitting here just thinking for a while. Shirou's shut his eyes again.
I need to think about it some more. Find the right way to bring it up. Something better than just saying, "oh, hey, last loop it kinda looked like you were trying to get yourself killed, what's up with that." Reading up a little on bushido probably wouldn't hurt either...
***
> skip to: iteration 17, day 4, late morning
"So I got in touch with some people," Rin says. She's pulled me and Shirou out onto the roof during lunch. "Called in a few favors."
Shirou raises an eyebrow. "You have favors to call in?"
"My family does." She pushes her hair back. "One or two old debts in Rome that I really, really didn't want to have to use for this... not to mention, a bunch of money I really didn't want to have to spend..." She shakes her head. "But anyway. Kotomine can't be a Master. There's no way."
I narrow my eyes. "How can you be sure?"
"Because someone in the Church leaked me some details on the six registered Masters. Two -- including me -- are Japanese mages. Three are from Europe. One's from China. All of them are known members of the Mage's Association with no official ties to the Church. Add in Mr. Unregistered here --" She points her thumb at Shirou. "-- and that's a full seven. Not a priest to be found."
"Even if that's true, you still seem pretty worried about this," Shirou says. I nod in agreement. That's a good point. Him and me, we're getting pretty good at double-teaming Rin like this -- and oh wow is that something I should never ever say out loud, especially phrased like that.
> yeah could we not
"Well, doy!" Rin throws up her hands. "Because if Kirei was a Master, we'd be completely fucked! Trust me. He trained me, so I know what I'm talking about. The Church made him an Executor when he was ten years old. Those are the people they send after vampires and demons and stuff!"
I blink. "Wait. Vampires are a thing?"
"On top of that, he has access to the leftover Command Seals," Rin continues. Wokay, guess we're just moving right along here. "As overseers of the Grail War, the Church supervisor takes possession of any unused seals and passes them down to their successors. During future wars, they can hand them out as rewards if they need the Masters to cooperate with them on something. But if the supervisor is a Master, he'd be able to use them all for himself! It'd completely break the whole system!"
I nod. "I can see why that might need to be nerfed some, yeah."
Shirou hesitates. "But even if all that's correct... we still can't be completely sure he's not secretly a Master, can we? What if he found some way past the system? Like, say he managed to name himself as an eighth Master or something."
"Impossible. The Grail doesn't work that way." I get the feeling Rin is trying to convince herself of that just as much as she is us.
"Well..." I glance down at my hand. "I guess there's one other thing we could try..."
***
> skip forward
The priest looks up as I walk into the church that night. "Yes? Can I help you?"
"Hi." I run my hand through my hair. "Yeah. I'd like to sign up for this whole Christianity thing, please."
(This particular angle had naturally been Rin's idea. "He's a priest!" she'd insisted. "Saving heathens is their whole thing. It'll be like dangling raw steak in front of a wolf." Not a metaphor I felt entirely comfortable with at the time... but it's not like I had any better ideas.)
"I see." Kotomine raises an eyebrow. "That is indeed wonderful news. If I could have your name, Mister... ?"
"Matou," I say. "Um. Spike Matou."
(What? I've already died once giving this guy my name. Besides, even if I am nearly about to loop again, I don't want to end up on any mailing lists.)
> yeah next time maybe try using a name that doesn't belong to a prominent area family
"Spike Matou," Kotomine says dryly. "I take it, then, that you accept the existence of God the Heavenly Father, creator of the earth and all of the heavens?"
"Sure."
"And in His Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ; who suffered under Pontius Pilate, died on the cross, and rose again after three days?"
"Okay."
I really don't know if Rin has the right read on this guy. He mostly just sounds kind of bored, like he's rattling off economic statistics. "I take it you're also familiar with the doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church. For example, that of the Holy Trinity, wherein the one God is expressed in the persons of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, existing together in a state of consubstantialis."
"I... guess?" I'm starting to get the idea I could have done with a bit of research before I came in here. Not that I haven't had more than enough on my plate in that regard over the last day or two.
Kotomine tilts his head. "You accept, then, the exclusive right of the Church to absolve you of your mortal and venial sins through the Sacrament of Penance? You agree to enter into the communion of saints, as it exists throughout earth, in heaven, and within purgatory? Do you trust in the sacred mystery of transubstantiation, through which the offerings of bread and wine are converted into the literal flesh and blood of Jesus Christ?"
I finally read the mood. "You're making some of that up, aren't you."
"Try to guess which one."
"Yeah, all right," I grumble. "Fine. I surrender. You win."
"Might I suggest... Spike... that if you have a genuine interest in our faith, you might perhaps consider joining us for Mass before you schedule a baptism. Our calendar of events is posted over by the exit." Kotomine brushes off one of his sleeves. "Now, if you'll excuse me... I have other duties to attend to."
"I'll think about it." Okay, moment of truth. "Um. Good talk, though? I guess?..."
I offer him my hand.
I hold my breath. He eyes my hand for a second. Then... reluctantly... reaches out and takes it.
ZZRRRP
***
> download complete
"-- the hell?" Lancer staggers to his knees. "I never agreed to --"
"You didn't have to." I cut him off. "The contract has been transferred to me in full. Don't concern yourself with the how."
His face hardens. "Where is she? What did you do to her?"
"She sends her regards." I give him a jaunty little wave -- with his former Master's severed hand. "I wouldn't blame yourself, Lancer. Your countrymen have something of a soft spot for men of the cloth these days. If it helps, she didn't suffer for long." That's a lie, of course. Pity Gilgamesh had to get involved. I was really starting to enjoy myself there...
"You..." He seems to be visibly shaking with rage. Perhaps he's on the verge of one of his famed ríastrads. He keeps his voice low and dangerous, though, to make sure that I know he means every word. "I swear on the hand of my father Lugh and on the name of my mother, I am going to tear the black heart straight from your chest..."
"You will not," I say, invoking another Command Seal. "In fact, as long as our contract is in effect, you won't lay so much as a finger on me. And while we're at it, you will not fail to kill anyone I order you to execute -- provided, of course, your Noble Phantasm is effective against them. I am willing to be reasonable, you know." Yet another Seal burns away. I'll have to try and cap it at that. Four is more than enough for one day. Modestia vestra nota sit omnibus, after all.
He glowers at me silently, his eyes burning with hatred.
"Oh, don't give me that look. You of all people should be used to working under a gaes. Besides, think of it this way -- you finally have a wish for the Grail now, don't you?" I toss the severed hand down in front of him. He shifts his eyes. "Play along and we stand a reasonable chance of winning the war. Don't and -- well. I can do this all day if I have to." I show him the dozens of remaining Command Seals on my arm. Carrot, meet stick.
Lancer narrows his eyes. "Why are you doing this? What do you want from the Grail?"
No reason not to tell him, I suppose. "The answer to a particular question," I say. "Nothing more."
"That's it?"
"That's all I need." Well, that's not entirely true. But that's the lovely part about all of this. Even if I'm not able to make my wish, I still get most of what I want...
***
ZZRRRP
And then the next thing I know, Kotomine's holding a long thin blade up against my throat. "Interesting trick," he says, a gleam in his eye. "I was wondering what you were playing at. You do realize, however, that even minor divinations can be detected with the right preparations."
Shit. "Um..."
"Now. Who sent you?" He takes ahold of my shoulder with his free hand and twists. My arm explodes in pain. Fuck. Ow. "If it helps you feel more at home, I can always start trimming. Taking a little off the top, as it were..."
"-- him!" I squeal. "It's him! I saw it. It's definitely him."
"Him? What do you mean by --"
That's when he glances down and notices the microphone attached to the inside of my shirt collar.
> dare i ask how you managed to get a wire on short notice
More random eBay purchases. Specifically, this cheap spy gadget toy for kids I got last year. I wanted to see if I could mod it.
> and that actually worked
Eh, kinda? I did manage to extend the range by a dozen meters or so. But the microphone sucks and it's hardwired in, so it can't be replaced. And it transmits on the same frequency as this college station a couple of towns over, so the sound quality really varies depending on where you are.
Kotomine narrows his eyes in irritation. "Really?"
I shrug and give him a sheepish look. "You know how it is. No one expects the Spanish --"
Saber kicks the doors to the church open.
"-- inquisition," I finish lamely. Dammit. Could've timed that better.
Kotomine sighs and shoves me away. It looks like a fairly slight motion on his part, but it's enough to send me sprawling into the first row of pews. (Painfully, I should mention. Again, ow.) The priest turns to face Saber, blade in hand, as the Masters rush in behind her.
"Rin. I really should have known." Kotomine cracks his neck. "I will admit, the new minions threw me off guard. And Saber! Now, this truly is unexpected. Still wearing that ridiculous dress, I see."
"And I see you're still a disgrace to the frock you wear," Saber says coldly. Wait, so they know each other?
"You obviously haven't been keeping up with the headlines." Three more blades materialize in Kotomine's hand. He holds each one in between his fingers, like makeshift Wolverine claws. "I expect the Church would be glad for a few more functional sociopaths in the ranks these days."
"Oh, I doubt anyone's going to miss you." Saber points the tip of her sword at him. "Once I've cleansed your filth from --"
"Chill, Joan of Arc." Rin steps past her. "I don't get it, Kirei."
("Why does everyone say that?" Saber mutters in the background. "I just don't see the resemblance...")
"This scheme's enough to have both the Church and the Mage's Association clambering for your head on a stick. What could possibly be worth getting into that kind of trouble?"
"I have my reasons." Kotomine smirks. "And as for the rest -- believe it or not, Rin, there's quite a number of things in this world that I know and you do not."
"Oh, yeah?!" she snaps. "And is one of those things how to spend my inheritance, you lying --"
Shirou coughs. "Not that this isn't nice and all, but if this guy's Lancer's Master, where is he?"
"Who knows." Another four blades appear in the priest's other hand. "Am I my Servant's Keeper, Mister... sorry, who are you supposed to be again?"
Suddenly, Kotomine goes reeling back with a gasp. Exactly as if he's just been sucker-punched.
"Not gonna lie." Archer decloaks next to Kotomine, smugly rubbing his knuckles. "I have to rate that as one of the more satisfying acts of violence I've experienced. Easily in my personal top ten."
"Mmm-hmm." Rin gives him a knowing look. "Get a lot of joy out of beating up priests, Not Actually Satan?"
"Bite me, Rin."
Kotomine spits out some blood and rises back up, a razor-thin smile on his face. "Cheap shot." He rubs his jaw. "Kind of like this one, in fact."
Both Saber and Archer raise their eyes. Too late, though -- Lancer appears over Archer's head, hurdling through the air. He slashes his spear down at the other Servant's shoulder. Archer grunts and leaps back, clutching a nasty-looking wound on one arm.
"So." Lancer lands next to the priest and twirls his spear around before clasping it at the ready. "Does a situation like this mean I finally get to stop holding back... Master?"
"By all means, Lancer." Kotomine stands up straight and goes into a fighting stance.
I take this opportunity to creep down to the other end of the pew, then sneak my way along the wall towards the back of the church. Seems like the thing to do.
At least, right up until the wall next to me explodes inward.
Once again, I'm hurled down onto the floor. A cut on my forehead starts to bleed down into my eyes. I look up, blinking and coughing, through the new hole in the wall. Oh, for fuck's sake. Again?
"A surprise church social? And you didn't invite me?" Behind Berserker, the von Einzbern brat affects a wounded look. "And here I thought for sure I'd signed up for the newsletter."
> continue: iteration 16, day 5, early morning
Am... am I out? Oh, shit. What if I'm out?! What if there's no reset this time? Was -- was getting Rin killed my win condition? What the hell kind of fucked-up shit is that?!
Holy shit. I can't breathe. I think I'm going to throw up. Getting chills all over. I'm --
> don't freak out
How am I supposed to NOT FREAK OUT?! Rin's fucking dead! Saber and Archer, too, probably! And Shirou's right, it's all my fault -- I didn't mean to but -- and it could be for keeps this time! How is that not something worth freaking out over?!
> get some rest
... all right. I feel really tired anyway, now that you mention it.
I go upstairs and hole up inside a dusty guest bedroom. I guess I sleep some. I can't really tell. At one point I wake up and I check my cell phone for the time. Display reads 6:12 am. I stay there, huddled beneath the stale, itchy covers, and watch my phone as the seconds tick by and the battery level winds down.
6:35 am. I feel hungry.
6:41 am. Parents call me. I don't pick up.
7:12 am. They call me again, this time from their cell phones. Same.
7:35 am. I should probably go check up on Shirou or something.
8:01 am. I should probably go do a lot of things. I don't.
> do you get it now though
Get what?
> how you can lose here
What do you mean? Like... now? Like, I could exit the loop without knowing it, and wind up in some godawful mess of a future I've made for myself?
> it's a possibility
> but more than that
Just tell me, all right? I'm really not in the mood for the whole Socratic guessing game thing.
> even if the loop continues
> you can still get hurt
Well, duh. How many times have I died now?
> not physical pain
> you can see things that hurt you
... yeah.
> or worse yet
> you could just stop caring altogether
Wait... wouldn't that be a good thing for us, though? Then we wouldn't have to feel this way.
> is that who you want to be
I don't... look, this is stupid. We don't even know if I'm even in the loop anymore. So why even talk about this if --
***
> restart: iteration 17, day 1, early night
Oh.
Oh thank God. I never thought I'd be this happy to be back here again. Holy shit.
> take a moment
> catch your breath
Okay, okay. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathing. Centering myself. Fuck.
... so what does this mean? I'm still in the loop, but the reset point has moved forward in time? By about ten hours or so, I think. What caused it? Was it Rin's death? Is this like a blood magic thing?
> think carefully
> are you sure this is the first loop that's been like this
Huh... I guess there's no way for me to be sure of that, come to think of it. Both of the loops prior to the last one got cut short by me dying. The reset before last, I got myself killed by that magic seal thing. And before that, I was...
... wait.
Lancer.
***
> skip forward
Shirou answers the door, same as usual. "Uh, yeah?"
I know exactly what I need to say. But for some reason the words stick in my throat this time. Fuck, I'm tired.
"Wait... I know you, right?" Shirou tilts his head. "Tomo... nagi, wasn't it? Uh... can I help you with something?"
Oh, whatever. I sigh and rub my eyes. "Archer, don't fuck with me tonight, okay? Please? I'm kind of having a rough time."
Emiya blinks. "Uh..."
"So Rin and Saber are in there, right?" I motion towards the kitchen behind him. "Could I see them? It's important."
He stares at me. "How do you..."
"I'll explain in a second. Promise." I push him in front of me as I head through the door and towards the kitchen. "Just... let me tell you, man. I have seen some shit."
***
> skip forward
"And you think Lancer is the key?" Saber tilts her head. "Are you certain?"
"No." I scratch my head. "But it's the closest thing to a pattern I can see right now. Maybe his spear... like... generates this Z-energy stuff my uncle talked about. And that's what's doing this to me."
"So in that case, the loop extended because he stabbed you." Rin taps her finger against the table. Alive and in one piece, as expected. Thank God, again. "Which gave you more energy."
"I guess?" Wait -- so would that mean I'd have to get stabbed by Lancer again to confirm this? Really not liking the sound of that idea. "It's just my working hypothesis. Anyway, is there anything else you can tell me about Lancer?"
"Nothing that you don't already seem to know, I'm afraid." Saber shrugs. "He gave little indication about who his Master is, nor what their objectives are. Apart from winning the War, of course."
"I dunno," Shirou says. "Whoever he is, he seems to be really into mage law."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it's just... Lancer attacked me twice tonight." Shirou scratches the big bloody gash through his jacket. "The first time was at school earlier. He said it was to keep things secret, the way mage law says. Still not really sure how I survived that, to be honest..." Rin sips her tea carefully. "Then he followed me home and tried again, even though I showed him I was a mage. He said something about it being out of professional pride, but I'm not sure I buy that..."
"Maybe he could tell you were a Master by then?" Rin asks.
Emiya shakes his head. "I didn't summon Saber until after he attacked me. Well, kind of while he was attacking me, I mean."
"Huh. Weird," I say. "Guess they're all about secrecy, then." In fact, I wonder if that was the reason why Lancer killed me before. It would make sense.
"So his Master's a mage." Rin raises an eyebrow. "Brilliant deduction, noobs."
"I guess..." Except it'd really felt like Lancer had specifically sought me out. Knew my name and everything. Almost like...
> like it was his master's job to keep the war secret
"... hey, Rin?" I ask. "About this Kotomine guy... there's rules against him being a Master himself, right?"
She snorts. "Well, doy. Wouldn't be much of a referee if he was also a player, would he?"
"Let's say, just for the sake of argument, that he was a Master somehow. Is there any way you'd be able to tell?"
"Why?" Rin snaps. "It's completely impossible. The Grail's been hardwired to consider the Church a neutral third party ever since the Second War. And even if that wasn't the case, Kotomine probably wouldn't be eligible anyway, since he already was a master back... in... the last war..."
Her voice drops off as the contradiction dawns on her. I look back and forth between her and Shirou. "So... yeah."
***
> skip to: iteration 17, day 2, morning
Rin says she has some stuff she wants to check out. Given our little talk about Kotomine, she decides to skip the trip to church. It's not like I can't tell Shirou everything he would've learned from Kotomine anyway. (This time, though, I wait until after Rin's safely out of earshot.)
After that, it's back to the meditation stuff for me. Shirou also has some stuff to work on in that regard. When I'd described that trance state I found him in during the last loop, Rin said that it sounded like a long-range hypnotic charm of some sort. ("It's something that rookie mages are particularly vulnerable to," she'd said with a smirk. "Magic can have a strong influence over the weak-minded."
"Star Wars: A New Hope," I replied. "Nice."
"Star what? Anyway, there's some stuff you can do to prepare yourself against it. I'll tell you about it, but only because it'd be embarrassing seeing someone fall for a cheap parlor trick like that.")
So we're in the dojo this time. (Yeah, Emiya has his own freaking dojo.) Personally speaking, though, not really having an easy time concentrating today.
> ask shirou what his deal is
"Hey, Emiya?" I ask.
"Yeah?" On the other side of the room, he opens one eye.
"So last time, you said this one thing I've been wondering about." I'd been... vague when telling him and Rin on what'd happened after Berserker ambushed us. Didn't seem necessary for them to know exactly how bad things went. "Something about... uh... not being unattached to life? Sounded like you were referencing something."
He thinks for a second. "Oh. Was it: 'if a warrior is not unattached to life and death, he will be of no use whatsoever'?" He rattles off the line like it's second nature to him.
"Think so, yeah. What's it from?"
"This old book my dad left me. The Hagakure."
Hagakure... I know I've heard of that somewhere before. In school, in a humanities or history class or something. It's...
... oh. Right.
Something finally clicks for me. It's not just about Batman for Shirou. It's about bushido.
> explain
The old samurai code. The Hagakure is a book about it. It's kind of hard to describe if you're not Japanese. It's about putting your ideals before your own life. Absolute loyalty and sacrifice. Death before dishonor. Stuff like that. It comes up a lot in period dramas.
> is it a big deal
Kind of? For me, at least, it's more like... cultural background noise, I guess? I know what it is, and I know that it's a thing. But I've personally never really thought about it all that much. It used to be a huge deal back during the Second World War, of course. To the point that it's almost been a problem. Like, this one thing I read -- some creator commentary on an anime, I think -- said that bushido before the war represented everything a Japanese man was supposed to be. When we lost, though, it kind of shattered that whole belief system. Ever since then, this guy said, we haven't really known what to do with ourselves. On a cultural level or whatever. (After that, it mostly just turned into a rant about kids these days and the decline in societal values and what the hell is up with these new game shows, but in any case.)
> so what does this have to do with shirou
A lot of the way he reacts to stuff makes a lot more sense when you factor bushido into this hero of justice thing he's trying to become. (I guess I focused too much on the whole Batman thing. Sure, Batman has samurai-like aspects, but he's more than willing to fight dirty if it helps save people, you know? Straight-up bushido doesn't really let you to do stuff like that, I think.)
Like... of course Shirou would hate relying on Saber to fight for him. A real warrior should be strong enough to fight his own battles and value his comrades' lives above his own. (I guess throwing himself into the fight with Saber is kind of his way of trying to find a middle ground? Even if he's more likely to get in her way more than anything.) Of course he'd think running from Berserker was a mistake, because a samurai never flees from an enemy, no matter how terrible the odds are.
> but doesn't that make victory less likely
Yeah, but that's not supposed to matter. It's hard to put into words. It's like... it's the ideal that matters above all else. Victory or defeat is comparatively unimportant by comparison, so long as you act correctly.
> that doesn't seem very realistic
Yeah, but that's part of it too. Reality is something you're supposed to overcome, I guess, through pure willpower and awesomeness. It's like... if you don't win, oh well, you clearly just didn't bushido hard enough, them's the breaks. But at least you acted the way you were supposed to. Like a real man.
(Guess it makes sense Shirou would glom onto that stuff, actually... he had to grow up at least part of the way without his dad, right? So he'd need something else to tell him the way he's supposed to act. Some way to fill in the blanks.)
> so are you going to talk to him about it
I dunno. Should I? I mean, is any of this even any of my business? And who am I to criticize, anyway? -- Also, I've kind of been sitting here just thinking for a while. Shirou's shut his eyes again.
I need to think about it some more. Find the right way to bring it up. Something better than just saying, "oh, hey, last loop it kinda looked like you were trying to get yourself killed, what's up with that." Reading up a little on bushido probably wouldn't hurt either...
***
> skip to: iteration 17, day 4, late morning
"So I got in touch with some people," Rin says. She's pulled me and Shirou out onto the roof during lunch. "Called in a few favors."
Shirou raises an eyebrow. "You have favors to call in?"
"My family does." She pushes her hair back. "One or two old debts in Rome that I really, really didn't want to have to use for this... not to mention, a bunch of money I really didn't want to have to spend..." She shakes her head. "But anyway. Kotomine can't be a Master. There's no way."
I narrow my eyes. "How can you be sure?"
"Because someone in the Church leaked me some details on the six registered Masters. Two -- including me -- are Japanese mages. Three are from Europe. One's from China. All of them are known members of the Mage's Association with no official ties to the Church. Add in Mr. Unregistered here --" She points her thumb at Shirou. "-- and that's a full seven. Not a priest to be found."
"Even if that's true, you still seem pretty worried about this," Shirou says. I nod in agreement. That's a good point. Him and me, we're getting pretty good at double-teaming Rin like this -- and oh wow is that something I should never ever say out loud, especially phrased like that.
> yeah could we not
"Well, doy!" Rin throws up her hands. "Because if Kirei was a Master, we'd be completely fucked! Trust me. He trained me, so I know what I'm talking about. The Church made him an Executor when he was ten years old. Those are the people they send after vampires and demons and stuff!"
I blink. "Wait. Vampires are a thing?"
"On top of that, he has access to the leftover Command Seals," Rin continues. Wokay, guess we're just moving right along here. "As overseers of the Grail War, the Church supervisor takes possession of any unused seals and passes them down to their successors. During future wars, they can hand them out as rewards if they need the Masters to cooperate with them on something. But if the supervisor is a Master, he'd be able to use them all for himself! It'd completely break the whole system!"
I nod. "I can see why that might need to be nerfed some, yeah."
Shirou hesitates. "But even if all that's correct... we still can't be completely sure he's not secretly a Master, can we? What if he found some way past the system? Like, say he managed to name himself as an eighth Master or something."
"Impossible. The Grail doesn't work that way." I get the feeling Rin is trying to convince herself of that just as much as she is us.
"Well..." I glance down at my hand. "I guess there's one other thing we could try..."
***
> skip forward
The priest looks up as I walk into the church that night. "Yes? Can I help you?"
"Hi." I run my hand through my hair. "Yeah. I'd like to sign up for this whole Christianity thing, please."
(This particular angle had naturally been Rin's idea. "He's a priest!" she'd insisted. "Saving heathens is their whole thing. It'll be like dangling raw steak in front of a wolf." Not a metaphor I felt entirely comfortable with at the time... but it's not like I had any better ideas.)
"I see." Kotomine raises an eyebrow. "That is indeed wonderful news. If I could have your name, Mister... ?"
"Matou," I say. "Um. Spike Matou."
(What? I've already died once giving this guy my name. Besides, even if I am nearly about to loop again, I don't want to end up on any mailing lists.)
> yeah next time maybe try using a name that doesn't belong to a prominent area family
"Spike Matou," Kotomine says dryly. "I take it, then, that you accept the existence of God the Heavenly Father, creator of the earth and all of the heavens?"
"Sure."
"And in His Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ; who suffered under Pontius Pilate, died on the cross, and rose again after three days?"
"Okay."
I really don't know if Rin has the right read on this guy. He mostly just sounds kind of bored, like he's rattling off economic statistics. "I take it you're also familiar with the doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church. For example, that of the Holy Trinity, wherein the one God is expressed in the persons of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, existing together in a state of consubstantialis."
"I... guess?" I'm starting to get the idea I could have done with a bit of research before I came in here. Not that I haven't had more than enough on my plate in that regard over the last day or two.
Kotomine tilts his head. "You accept, then, the exclusive right of the Church to absolve you of your mortal and venial sins through the Sacrament of Penance? You agree to enter into the communion of saints, as it exists throughout earth, in heaven, and within purgatory? Do you trust in the sacred mystery of transubstantiation, through which the offerings of bread and wine are converted into the literal flesh and blood of Jesus Christ?"
I finally read the mood. "You're making some of that up, aren't you."
"Try to guess which one."
"Yeah, all right," I grumble. "Fine. I surrender. You win."
"Might I suggest... Spike... that if you have a genuine interest in our faith, you might perhaps consider joining us for Mass before you schedule a baptism. Our calendar of events is posted over by the exit." Kotomine brushes off one of his sleeves. "Now, if you'll excuse me... I have other duties to attend to."
"I'll think about it." Okay, moment of truth. "Um. Good talk, though? I guess?..."
I offer him my hand.
I hold my breath. He eyes my hand for a second. Then... reluctantly... reaches out and takes it.
ZZRRRP
***
> download complete
"-- the hell?" Lancer staggers to his knees. "I never agreed to --"
"You didn't have to." I cut him off. "The contract has been transferred to me in full. Don't concern yourself with the how."
His face hardens. "Where is she? What did you do to her?"
"She sends her regards." I give him a jaunty little wave -- with his former Master's severed hand. "I wouldn't blame yourself, Lancer. Your countrymen have something of a soft spot for men of the cloth these days. If it helps, she didn't suffer for long." That's a lie, of course. Pity Gilgamesh had to get involved. I was really starting to enjoy myself there...
"You..." He seems to be visibly shaking with rage. Perhaps he's on the verge of one of his famed ríastrads. He keeps his voice low and dangerous, though, to make sure that I know he means every word. "I swear on the hand of my father Lugh and on the name of my mother, I am going to tear the black heart straight from your chest..."
"You will not," I say, invoking another Command Seal. "In fact, as long as our contract is in effect, you won't lay so much as a finger on me. And while we're at it, you will not fail to kill anyone I order you to execute -- provided, of course, your Noble Phantasm is effective against them. I am willing to be reasonable, you know." Yet another Seal burns away. I'll have to try and cap it at that. Four is more than enough for one day. Modestia vestra nota sit omnibus, after all.
He glowers at me silently, his eyes burning with hatred.
"Oh, don't give me that look. You of all people should be used to working under a gaes. Besides, think of it this way -- you finally have a wish for the Grail now, don't you?" I toss the severed hand down in front of him. He shifts his eyes. "Play along and we stand a reasonable chance of winning the war. Don't and -- well. I can do this all day if I have to." I show him the dozens of remaining Command Seals on my arm. Carrot, meet stick.
Lancer narrows his eyes. "Why are you doing this? What do you want from the Grail?"
No reason not to tell him, I suppose. "The answer to a particular question," I say. "Nothing more."
"That's it?"
"That's all I need." Well, that's not entirely true. But that's the lovely part about all of this. Even if I'm not able to make my wish, I still get most of what I want...
***
ZZRRRP
And then the next thing I know, Kotomine's holding a long thin blade up against my throat. "Interesting trick," he says, a gleam in his eye. "I was wondering what you were playing at. You do realize, however, that even minor divinations can be detected with the right preparations."
Shit. "Um..."
"Now. Who sent you?" He takes ahold of my shoulder with his free hand and twists. My arm explodes in pain. Fuck. Ow. "If it helps you feel more at home, I can always start trimming. Taking a little off the top, as it were..."
"-- him!" I squeal. "It's him! I saw it. It's definitely him."
"Him? What do you mean by --"
That's when he glances down and notices the microphone attached to the inside of my shirt collar.
> dare i ask how you managed to get a wire on short notice
More random eBay purchases. Specifically, this cheap spy gadget toy for kids I got last year. I wanted to see if I could mod it.
> and that actually worked
Eh, kinda? I did manage to extend the range by a dozen meters or so. But the microphone sucks and it's hardwired in, so it can't be replaced. And it transmits on the same frequency as this college station a couple of towns over, so the sound quality really varies depending on where you are.
Kotomine narrows his eyes in irritation. "Really?"
I shrug and give him a sheepish look. "You know how it is. No one expects the Spanish --"
Saber kicks the doors to the church open.
"-- inquisition," I finish lamely. Dammit. Could've timed that better.
Kotomine sighs and shoves me away. It looks like a fairly slight motion on his part, but it's enough to send me sprawling into the first row of pews. (Painfully, I should mention. Again, ow.) The priest turns to face Saber, blade in hand, as the Masters rush in behind her.
"Rin. I really should have known." Kotomine cracks his neck. "I will admit, the new minions threw me off guard. And Saber! Now, this truly is unexpected. Still wearing that ridiculous dress, I see."
"And I see you're still a disgrace to the frock you wear," Saber says coldly. Wait, so they know each other?
"You obviously haven't been keeping up with the headlines." Three more blades materialize in Kotomine's hand. He holds each one in between his fingers, like makeshift Wolverine claws. "I expect the Church would be glad for a few more functional sociopaths in the ranks these days."
"Oh, I doubt anyone's going to miss you." Saber points the tip of her sword at him. "Once I've cleansed your filth from --"
"Chill, Joan of Arc." Rin steps past her. "I don't get it, Kirei."
("Why does everyone say that?" Saber mutters in the background. "I just don't see the resemblance...")
"This scheme's enough to have both the Church and the Mage's Association clambering for your head on a stick. What could possibly be worth getting into that kind of trouble?"
"I have my reasons." Kotomine smirks. "And as for the rest -- believe it or not, Rin, there's quite a number of things in this world that I know and you do not."
"Oh, yeah?!" she snaps. "And is one of those things how to spend my inheritance, you lying --"
Shirou coughs. "Not that this isn't nice and all, but if this guy's Lancer's Master, where is he?"
"Who knows." Another four blades appear in the priest's other hand. "Am I my Servant's Keeper, Mister... sorry, who are you supposed to be again?"
Suddenly, Kotomine goes reeling back with a gasp. Exactly as if he's just been sucker-punched.
"Not gonna lie." Archer decloaks next to Kotomine, smugly rubbing his knuckles. "I have to rate that as one of the more satisfying acts of violence I've experienced. Easily in my personal top ten."
"Mmm-hmm." Rin gives him a knowing look. "Get a lot of joy out of beating up priests, Not Actually Satan?"
"Bite me, Rin."
Kotomine spits out some blood and rises back up, a razor-thin smile on his face. "Cheap shot." He rubs his jaw. "Kind of like this one, in fact."
Both Saber and Archer raise their eyes. Too late, though -- Lancer appears over Archer's head, hurdling through the air. He slashes his spear down at the other Servant's shoulder. Archer grunts and leaps back, clutching a nasty-looking wound on one arm.
"So." Lancer lands next to the priest and twirls his spear around before clasping it at the ready. "Does a situation like this mean I finally get to stop holding back... Master?"
"By all means, Lancer." Kotomine stands up straight and goes into a fighting stance.
I take this opportunity to creep down to the other end of the pew, then sneak my way along the wall towards the back of the church. Seems like the thing to do.
At least, right up until the wall next to me explodes inward.
Once again, I'm hurled down onto the floor. A cut on my forehead starts to bleed down into my eyes. I look up, blinking and coughing, through the new hole in the wall. Oh, for fuck's sake. Again?
"A surprise church social? And you didn't invite me?" Behind Berserker, the von Einzbern brat affects a wounded look. "And here I thought for sure I'd signed up for the newsletter."
i.10
- Location
- USA
Part I.10
> continue: iteration 17, day 4, early night
Oh my God, I am so completely done with these two. As quietly as I can manage, I scramble on my hands and knees towards the back of the church, trying to avoid thinking about the mess I've just made of my pants. Berserker and von Einzbern seem to ignore me, at least.
"Miss Illyasviel. What a pleasant surprise." Kotomine's tone makes it clear he considers it anything but. "I don't suppose you might be willing consider an alliance against these heathens?"
"And deny Berserker the chance to crush three Servants at once?" The little girl smirks. "I'd never hear the end of it."
The priest sighs. "I thought you might say that. Temporary truce, Rin?"
"You suck, Kirei!" Rin snaps. But she doesn't say no.
"Rest assured, this is only until the common threat is dealt with."
"God, whatever," Lancer grouses. He pivots towards Berserker, his spear tucked behind his back. "Someone just hit something already."
It's at this point I decide I should probably take my leave. I shoot Rin and Shirou an apologetic look -- they don't even notice me -- and head out.
But I hesitate by the door. I pull the mike-and-transmitter rig out from under my shirt and slide it down across the floor beneath the pews. I leave the building just as Berserker brings down his club onto Saber's blade, hard enough that I can feel the shockwave jar some of my teeth loose.
***
> explain
I know, I know. I should be in there, taking notes or gathering intel or whatever. Berserker and Lancer are there, new stuff's happening. I guess I've just plain used up my supply of bravery for the day, though.
So I split the difference. Just as I hoped, it looks like Shirou and the rest left the receiver -- the other half of the toy that picks up the wire's signal -- right by the church gates. This was the part I modified the most heavily, adding some audio controls I scavanged from an old sound board and giving it a proper antenna. Not exactly the most portable gear ever, but it gets the job done. I turn the receiver back on and slip the headphones over my ears.
> works
I'm immediately rewarded with a painful howl of feedback as Berserker roars and a gigantic crash rips through my head. Ow x 3. A wooden support column busts through one of the windows on the side of the church. Yeah, better keep one hand on the volume dimmer here...
I make an adjustment. "Master! Stay back!" I hear Saber call out through the headphones.
"Just tell me what I can do!" Shirou says.
"You can start by staying out of my fire zone!" Rin snaps. Two of her black bolts burst through the church's other side and speed off into the night.
"Aww, what's the matter, Shirou?" von Einzbern croons mockingly at the edge of my hearing. Huh. The pickup on this mike's a lot better than I remember. "Feeling useless already?"
I hear the sounds of blades crashing into each other. More impacts. Saber grunting. Archer spits out a curse. It's a bit like listening to a drama CD. Or maybe a baseball game without the commentary.
"Watch it!" Shirou yells. "He's got another --"
"I see it --"
"FUCK --"
"I can feel it comin' in the air tonight..."
Shit! Sorry, sorry, wrong button. I hit it again and banish Phil Collins from whence he came. In the meantime, a church pew erupts partway out of the roof, where it just kind of sticks in place.
"-- got something for this," Lancer rasps as I get things tuned again. "Just gimme a second here..."
"Fine," Saber says. "Archer -- let's go."
Archer grunts. There's a bunch more clanging. Something gets crushed. I see some kind of unearthly glow start to build inside the church, its light spilling out the various holes now in the walls.
"... hey. Where'd the priest go?" Shirou asks.
Everything suddenly goes dead silent.
"That's not the same attack you used before," Saber says quietly. "Is it, Lancer."
"... sorry, everyone," Lancer admits. He sounds more embarrassed than anything. "Command Seal."
"I really don't care for that guy," Archer says flatly.
The front of the church evaporates in a burst of red and orange light. I barely have time to stand up before the blast wave hits me --
***
> restart: iteration 18, day 1, early night
Well... balls. So that's twice in a row I've gotten everyone killed, probably. Achievement unlocked, I guess. Go me.
> at least you learned something this time
There is that, yeah. Well... let's get to work.
> continue: iteration 17, day 4, early night
Oh my God, I am so completely done with these two. As quietly as I can manage, I scramble on my hands and knees towards the back of the church, trying to avoid thinking about the mess I've just made of my pants. Berserker and von Einzbern seem to ignore me, at least.
"Miss Illyasviel. What a pleasant surprise." Kotomine's tone makes it clear he considers it anything but. "I don't suppose you might be willing consider an alliance against these heathens?"
"And deny Berserker the chance to crush three Servants at once?" The little girl smirks. "I'd never hear the end of it."
The priest sighs. "I thought you might say that. Temporary truce, Rin?"
"You suck, Kirei!" Rin snaps. But she doesn't say no.
"Rest assured, this is only until the common threat is dealt with."
"God, whatever," Lancer grouses. He pivots towards Berserker, his spear tucked behind his back. "Someone just hit something already."
It's at this point I decide I should probably take my leave. I shoot Rin and Shirou an apologetic look -- they don't even notice me -- and head out.
But I hesitate by the door. I pull the mike-and-transmitter rig out from under my shirt and slide it down across the floor beneath the pews. I leave the building just as Berserker brings down his club onto Saber's blade, hard enough that I can feel the shockwave jar some of my teeth loose.
***
> explain
I know, I know. I should be in there, taking notes or gathering intel or whatever. Berserker and Lancer are there, new stuff's happening. I guess I've just plain used up my supply of bravery for the day, though.
So I split the difference. Just as I hoped, it looks like Shirou and the rest left the receiver -- the other half of the toy that picks up the wire's signal -- right by the church gates. This was the part I modified the most heavily, adding some audio controls I scavanged from an old sound board and giving it a proper antenna. Not exactly the most portable gear ever, but it gets the job done. I turn the receiver back on and slip the headphones over my ears.
> works
I'm immediately rewarded with a painful howl of feedback as Berserker roars and a gigantic crash rips through my head. Ow x 3. A wooden support column busts through one of the windows on the side of the church. Yeah, better keep one hand on the volume dimmer here...
I make an adjustment. "Master! Stay back!" I hear Saber call out through the headphones.
"Just tell me what I can do!" Shirou says.
"You can start by staying out of my fire zone!" Rin snaps. Two of her black bolts burst through the church's other side and speed off into the night.
"Aww, what's the matter, Shirou?" von Einzbern croons mockingly at the edge of my hearing. Huh. The pickup on this mike's a lot better than I remember. "Feeling useless already?"
I hear the sounds of blades crashing into each other. More impacts. Saber grunting. Archer spits out a curse. It's a bit like listening to a drama CD. Or maybe a baseball game without the commentary.
"Watch it!" Shirou yells. "He's got another --"
"I see it --"
"FUCK --"
"I can feel it comin' in the air tonight..."
Shit! Sorry, sorry, wrong button. I hit it again and banish Phil Collins from whence he came. In the meantime, a church pew erupts partway out of the roof, where it just kind of sticks in place.
"-- got something for this," Lancer rasps as I get things tuned again. "Just gimme a second here..."
"Fine," Saber says. "Archer -- let's go."
Archer grunts. There's a bunch more clanging. Something gets crushed. I see some kind of unearthly glow start to build inside the church, its light spilling out the various holes now in the walls.
"... hey. Where'd the priest go?" Shirou asks.
Everything suddenly goes dead silent.
"That's not the same attack you used before," Saber says quietly. "Is it, Lancer."
"... sorry, everyone," Lancer admits. He sounds more embarrassed than anything. "Command Seal."
"I really don't care for that guy," Archer says flatly.
The front of the church evaporates in a burst of red and orange light. I barely have time to stand up before the blast wave hits me --
***
> restart: iteration 18, day 1, early night
Well... balls. So that's twice in a row I've gotten everyone killed, probably. Achievement unlocked, I guess. Go me.
> at least you learned something this time
There is that, yeah. Well... let's get to work.