OOC: Well that was annoying. Surprise test caught me by surprise. Damn you test that was on the study guide for weeks but there being no actually warning about it until a day before the thing! Well, here the update. Will probably pick up the pace now that I'm on break. Hurrah for break!
"Oh. My. God." you breathily let out. Everyone else is staring at the stout cheerful farmer that just barged into the room on a large bull with the. Exception of King Geezer who's hanging his head down with his face in his palm. That's not important. What's important is that there's a celebrity in front of you. "OLD MACDONALD!"
"Huh?" "What" "No way" "Eh?"
Without hesitation, you run towards the farmer of legend. Then without warning, the best farmer ever throws his pitchfork at you. Suddenly, you feel a sense of weightlessness as well as the makeshift javelin catches onto your clothes and promptly lifts you into the air. With barely a sound, the pitchfork flies through the air and with a shudder, digs into the wall, leaving you hanging by the collar of your jacket.
Everyone save for the king and the farmer is speechless at the sight of what just happened. You flail about for a few seconds before giving up. It's not bad up here. You could totally stay up here for days on end. Yep, totally. You are now a work of art.
"Sorry, MacDonald's ain't my name, girly. Name's Garland" Old McDonald smoothly dismounts his bull and walks up to the steps in front of the king. The bull lies down on the ground and waits patiently. The king finally lifts his head from his palm and give the farmer a very disapproving look. The farmer notices and grins wider. "Well, Howdy. It's been awhile Cray! How's life as king?"
The king makes a complicated expression before letting out a sigh and sits up straight in what could be called a kingly manner. "Hmph, I'll forgive you this once, Garland, but please address me as befitting of my status."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever you say your majesty." Old MacDonald replied nonchalantly. The king twitch in annoyance but the nursery rhyme farmer simply takes no heed of it. Instead the farmer looks around the room and his eyes settles on the Shieldman and other people that came with him. "So what's the deal?"
"Garland. Let us first wait for the others to arrive and - "
"Oh, they're not coming." The farmer interrupts before uncorking his jug and taking a large draught from it. The king freezes upon hearing the farmer and stares with a shocked expression for a few moments before his face turns red with anger.
"What! What do you mean they're not coming?! They dare refused an order from their king?!" The sight of the king suddenly shouting and stamping his feet in rage makes everyone recoil back from the angry sovereign save for the farmer who just pauses in his drinking before shrugging and was about to continue when the king points his finger at the jug.
"You will not drink in the presence of your king during such an important meeting!" There's flash of light and suddenly the jug explodes, spilling strong smelling dark liquid over the MacDonald's clothes. Staring at the the handle that he was now holding, the farmer shakes his head and tosses it over his shoulder. "Now answer me! Why have my former companions refused to come at my command!?"
"Well, I could think of a number of reason why but they told me to tell you that you should know exactly why, what with your wife out of the kingdom and all. That and Pollux said that you've let being king get to your head." The farmer - no, Garland, that's his name right, simply replies. The king stares at Garland before opening and closing his mouth like a fish, his face turning a bit darker. "Oi, take ten deep breaths before continuing."
Upon hearing Garland, the king raises his arm towards the farmer but stops halfway before closing his eyes and taking several deep breaths like the farmer said. Slowly, the king's face turns back to normal and he opens his eyes with a tired expression on his face. "My apologies that you had to see that everyone."
Everyone simply nods back except you since you're now a painting...or it is an art installation?
"Right. Garland, I originally called you and the others to act as guides to the four heroes of legend."
"Shield, Bow, Spear and Sword, right?"
"Indeed. However, as you already know, only you have answered my call."
"Um, your highness?" Shieldman suddenly interrupts. The king snaps towards Shield, annoyed at being interrupted but quickly schools his features to a more neutral expression.
"What is it, Shield Hero?"
"Ah, but of course. How rude of me. Everyone, this is one of my old comrades from my adventurer days, Sir Garland of Ruumeer village."
"Howdy."
"Though I am curious to what has happened to you, Garland. Last I saw, you'd been given land, servants, and a title. Why are you dressed like a farmer and why on earth did you bring a bull in here?"
"As I've said before, I had hoped that my old comrades would come and provide guidance to all of you until you no longer needed it. However, all save for garland have chosen to refuse my call, something that I will be getting to the bottom of as soon as possible. Now since we have a fifth hero who is lacking -"
"Wait, fifth?" Garland looks around and frowns. "There's a fifth hero? Then where is he?"
"Oh, She's over there, pinned to the wall by your pitchfork." The king replies, pointing towards you.
….
Oh, right!
"Hello! I'm Suzuka Akemi, the knife hero!" You make a cute pose or try to. It ain't easy when you're hanging by a thread.
*Rip*
Your jacket suddenly tears and you fall to the ground on your face. "Ow."
"...So wait, let me get this straight. You summoned the four heroes and somehow ended up with five? Huh, just like old times, like when you - "
"As I was saying! Since all the other heroes have companions save for the knife hero, I would like you, Garland to be her companion."
"....Eh, okay. Guess I'll play babysitter to the hero then."
"Good. Now then…"
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
A little while latter, you are on a horse.
"Moooo!"
Cow.
"So, girly. What do you want to do first?" Garland asks, walking alongside you and his bull.
You look down at the small bag of shinies that you were given. So you have to buy stuff. Does this mean you have to invest in a company, help it become successfully, make back the money invested and then repay the loan?
Nooooo!
Your daddy tried all that before and it failed big time! You don't want to be in debt again! It was terrible!
"Waaaah!" You throw the bag of shinies as far as you can. A few minutes later, your new farmer minion brings it back, looking quite put off with you.
"Well, already I'm starting to regret leaving the farm to me kids but I said I'll look after ya girly so try not to throw away good money."
"Okay, Mister MacDonald."
"And I'm Garland, not this MacDonald character."
"Hai!"
"Right."
You arrive in the centre the town that was outside the castle. There are people looking and pointing at you and the bull but Mister MacDonald Garland seems to be keeping them at arms length.
"So what do you want to do first, girly?" He asks.
Huh. What do you want to do first?
You should ask, "Hey voices! What should I do now?"
[ ] Go buy some new clothes! This strait jacket makes you look fat and crazy. You should get something that makes you look awesome and cray-cray
[ ] Go outside the town and kill stuff for sweet loot. That's how it works right? Kill harmless forest animals for their furs and meats! Screw hippies, you like meat so hunt for meats!
[ ] Go find more minions! You need minions if you want to conquer the world. Save the world. Not conquer. You mix those two up a lot.
[ ] Write in
