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Everyone on Earth gets to write/say One True Paragraph

Superheroes exist, in all their wonder and glory. I am one of them, with a powerset I will enjoy and which will enable me to live a long and fulfilling life despite the danger of superheroics. Supervillains also exist, though not the 'lol I kill 500 a day' sort people like to use as argumentative points, as do civilians who have superpowers and choose not to use them to fight or commit crime. When it comes to matters of importance, catastrophes on city or global scales, the good guys always win in the end. I do not remember this conversation having occurred, and only remember the new reality this paragraph creates.
 
Just as I started this sentence, several scientists in every country on the planet abruptly discovered a method of cold fusion by which a football sized generator could be created to produce more power then a modern coal power plant using only a few liters of water a day. Simultaneously, medical researchers stumbled upon a path of research which will result in the creation of a nearly free to produce panacea for all illnesses, injuries, or age by the end of the week. Additionally, Microsoft, Apple, and Google funded researchers have all discovered a procedure by which a human brain may be cheaply and safely uploaded into an artificial intelligence capable of functioning in a manner alarmingly similar to an Infomorph from the game Eclipse Phase. All of this was observed by the man who, on the internet, went by the name KyleDaScourge and who had just discovered and completed a meditative exercise which allowed anyone who underwent it to ascend to a higher plane of existence and live eternally as an immortal, all powerful, being. Having retained his memories of how he had caused all this to come about, that man then proceeded to watch as mankind was invigorated by these miraculous discoveries and embarked into a new golden age of peace and prosperity with no end in sight.

Five sentences, Booya!
 
KyleDaScourge said:
Just as I started this sentence, several scientists in every country on the planet abruptly discovered a method of cold fusion by which a football sized generator could be created to produce more power then a modern coal power plant using only a few liters of water a day. Simultaneously, medical researchers stumbled upon a path of research which will result in the creation of a nearly free to produce panacea for all illnesses, injuries, or age by the end of the week. Additionally, Microsoft, Apple, and Google funded researchers have all discovered a procedure by which a human brain may be cheaply and safely uploaded into an artificial intelligence capable of functioning in a manner alarmingly similar to an Infomorph from the game Eclipse Phase. All of this was observed by the man who, on the internet, went by the name KyleDaScourge and who had just discovered and completed a meditative exercise which allowed anyone who underwent it to ascend to a higher plane of existence and live eternally as an immortal, all powerful, being. Having retained his memories of how he had caused all this to come about, that man then proceeded to watch as mankind was invigorated by these miraculous discoveries and embarked into a new golden age of peace and prosperity with no end in sight.

Five sentences, Booya!
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Well, that's certainly an interesting worldline you chose to send yourself down.
 
I just write said:
Well, that's certainly an interesting worldline you chose to send yourself down.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Providing solutions to most of the world's problems seemed like the sensible thing to do. After that I just had to make sure I benefitted, which was simple as well. The last line semi-co-opts the free will of mankind to make sure they actually use those solutions, because I feel fairly positive they'd otherwise fuck it up somehow.
 
There is unlimited resources for everyone. A massive space colonization project has been started. I ScrewFate, that is speaking of myself have unlimited power. There is no more sickness and no more disease. Everybody is now Superman without a kryptonite weakness.
 
This is a reality that both a person and people, that is to say the mass populace, will absolute positively 100% learn from their mistakes. Also there are no 'hard' rules of physics and can be bent or broken with time and effort on both a personal and greater scale. The writer of this paragraph is a fluid-gendered shapeshifter that is biologically immortal and does not go insane from old age but can still be physically killed.

Bam, people stop being idiots and we can into sci-fi. That's about all I want.
 
"I am a motherfucking badass dragon with a horde the size of the gold reserve and I actively caputre girls to become my maids but don't hurt them at all, and if you hurt them you die. I live in a mountain in the middle of Iowa that can't be climbed and my cave is impossible to enter with out my say. I am immortal, and I am forever a teenage boy with Internet acces."

I was bored don't judge me
 
Reality now follows the rules of the series i have been writing 'A Fey Night' with regards to the make up of reality, souls, the after life and magic for humans completed as intended with a few exceptions. all humans now have infinity cores with limits on them so that a Ascension will not crack the planet open, the after life is stemmed lined so that that it expands as humans do though space, that magic dose not disturb electronics and humans poses a solid grasp of magical theory. There is no other sapient life in the universe, the star spawn and similar do not exist nor dose the tainted veil.
 
All sentences in this paragraph - inclusive of this sentence - will cause only and exactly what I intend them to cause, irrespective of their possible alternative meanings. The world tends towards the global optimum of good vs. evil as defined by the Libertine Ethos when not being interfered with. Sapients are amortal if they want to be, have free will, and can overcome entropy trivially. Travel to an infinite number of parallel worlds disjoint from the ones ROB made is so simple no government can hope to regulate it, while travel to worlds ROB made is impossible. Beings like ROB will never interfere with us again.

Let's see. I've prevented ROB from pulling a monkey's paw. I've banned malevolent gods and paperclip maximizers. I've made it so everyone can stay twenty years old forever if they like, or die if they want to. I've made them lack the need for food, oxygen, or what have you to maintain health, and I've made them lack suffering if they don't fulfil those drives. I've killed entropy, and I've opened up an infinite multiverse that can handle the perpetual expansion implied by that. Finally, I've installed the Libertine Ethos as a soft tendency in physics.

That ethos: Maximizing the agency of everything is good. The opposite is is evil.

It occurs to me that, if I wasn't writing on a forum, but actually doing this, this is what I would say:

"All sentences in this paragraph - inclusive of this sentence - will cause only and exactly what I intend them to cause, irrespective of their possible alternative meanings. Be."
 
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