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Everyone on Earth gets to write/say One True Paragraph

We Just Write

We Just Write

Blatantly Plural
Location
New England
Pronouns
Plural
This scenario operates exactly as described in the title. In one timeline, diverging exactly 1.349 milliseconds after this thread is posted, a ROB approaches Earth. ROB has a simple offer in mind; the lucky chosen gets to write or say a single paragraph no longer than 5 sentences describing the world, and ROB will alter reality so that it becomes true. However, when he sees the tremendous number of humans on Earth, he can't decide which one gets to be this lucky chosen, and thus he decides to cheat. The timeline splits 7,000,000,000 ways, and in each new parallel world ROB approaches a different human with his offer, leaving no-one who can comprehend what he's offering out.

So, what's your paragraph? Sadly, I don't get one, given that I just used it.

Also, how is this likely to effect the world(S)? After all, you just know someone somewhere is going to write "Inter-dimensional travel is easy and commonplace" or "All parallel Earths are connected by naturally occurring portals".
 
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"I, Anon, son of Anonymous and Suomynona, am a omnipotent being. And although I can, and do, know anything and everything without limit, I have choose not to purely out of whim; Since I would be bored otherwise. I know how to use my powers perfectly."
 
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"Omnipotent beings retroactively cease to exist in all universes; there has never been an omnipotent entity."

The idea of some random asshat becoming omnipotent rankles me to no end, so I'd like nothing more for them to never fall into such a position of power wherein their very existence basically makes all of humankind worthless.
 
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All [Human] none chosen can become greater than ROB. [None chosen the guys that are not the hero, meaning not the Magic girl, Power Ranger and so on.]
 
I have the collective abilities and powers of every fictional non-omnipotent, non-omniscient, and non-omnipresent for use in my home dimension and/or universe. The collective abilities and powers stated above cannot be retroactively removed, altered by others, or affected in any way by any non-omnipotent being. I have complete control and mastery over all abilities and powers I gain, will gain , or could possibly gain.
 
ROB decided against giving this opportunity to humanity and retroactively removes any possible effect that people wish for that is not entirely selfless and positive according to my definition of positive. This effect cannot be altered by any means, the clause that prevents alteration cannot be changed by any means, the clause that prevents the alteration of the second clause cannot be altered by any means whatsoever and so on in an infinite loop. This loop cannot be affected by any means, any omnipotent being is rendered unwilling to alter this and unwilling to even consider changing their mind about this and unwilling to change their mind about changing their mind in another infinite loop that nobody is willing to circumvent or alter. This effect bypasses any alternative paragraph, including paragraphs that explicitly prevent alteration and this effect is backed by every being that could or does exist in reality and outside of reality, including omnipotent beings such as ROB. This effect become a mandate enforced by every being that theoretically or practically exists in any fashion and is unalterable even by effects that explicitly alter it; this effect takes place at all points inside and outside of all possible configurations of reality and non-reality whether they be possible or impossible.
There, that'll deal with people fucking around with reality for the worse, at least until someone can be arsed to try create something that bypasses the wording on this. Or it would if I would actually take this opportunity of a lifetime to write something so boring. I'll come up with my actual paragraph later.
 
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"Relativity and the laws of thermodynamics are now no longer immovable absolutes but can be cancelled, adjusted and manipulated on any scale without negative consequences using the correct technology; this technology can be easily developed by any society which has gone through what humanity calls an industrial revolution."
 
I just write said:
This scenario operates exactly as described in the title. In one timeline, diverging exactly 1.349 milliseconds after this thread is posted, a ROB approaches Earth. ROB has a simple offer in mind; the lucky chosen gets to write or say a single paragraph no longer than 5 sentences describing the world, and ROB will alter reality so that it becomes true. However, when he sees the tremendous number of humans on Earth, he can't decide which one gets to be this lucky chosen, and thus he decides to cheat. The timeline splits 7,000,000,000 ways, and in each new parallel world ROB approaches a different human with his offer, leaving no-one who can comprehend what he's offering out.

So, what's your paragraph? Sadly, I don't get one, given that I just used it.

Also, how is this likely to effect the world(S)? After all, you just know someone somewhere is going to write "Inter-dimensional travel is easy and commonplace" or "All parallel Earths are connected by naturally occurring portals".
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So just to get this out of the way.....are we assuming everyone gets a wish and can anyone stop anyone else getting a wish? As it is Anon has effective won the game of life, gained omnipotence, then broke logic slapping everyone else down.

Also, I would like to preemptively suggest that a true ROB by definition isn't bound by any form of logic or reason and that causality altering wishes used in an attempt to stop others wishing are futile?
 
Willard said:
So just to get this out of the way.....are we assuming everyone gets a wish and can anyone stop anyone else getting a wish? As it is Anon has effective won the game of life, gained omnipotence, then broke logic slapping everyone else down.

Also, I would like to preemptively suggest that a true ROB by definition isn't bound by any form of logic or reason and that causality altering wishes used in an attempt to stop others wishing are futile?
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Well duh, there's tons of timeline forking going on.

EDIT: Which is to say, everyone gets a paragraph, yet at the same time everyone is the only person to get to make a paragraph.
 
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Anon̦̦ said:
"I, Anon, son of Anonymous and Suomynona, am a omnipotent being. And although I can, and do, know anything and everything without limit, I have choose not to purely out of whim; Since I would be bored otherwise. I know how to use my powers perfectly."
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The Out Of World said:
"Omnipotent beings retroactively cease to exist in all universes; there has never been an omnipotent entity."

The idea of some random asshat becoming omnipotent rankles me to no end, so I'd like nothing more for them to never fall into such a position of power wherein their very existence basically makes all of humankind worthless.
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ROB: Smartass attempt #97,999 and #98,000. Good haul for a species with this brain size.

*creates an illusion and pretends he fulfilled the contract then goes off to mess with someone else*
 
Render into reality the world as in the vision I've written and contemplate within my mind right now. Thus it's perfect and thus it shall be, interlocked with all the other realms save for when danger threatens all of them. The persons in my personal hitlist are not with us... those persons never existed... As never did any of the medias I hereby think of... finally, I am the person whose username is an abbreviation of in this world, and thus the epic new age finally starts...

There you go, exactly five phrases...
 
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AsGryffynn said:
Render into reality the world as in the vision I've written and contemplate within my mind right now. Thus it's perfect and thus it shall be, interlocked with all the other realms save for when danger threatens all of them.

The persons in my personal hitlist are not with us... those persons never existed...

As never did any of the medias I hereby think of... finally, I am the person whose username is an abbreviation of in this world, and thus the epic new age finally starts...

There you go, exactly five phrases...
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Ah, but it's three paragraphs, and you only get one!
 
The Out Of World said:
OP did specify that wishes to alter parallel universes were well within the bounds of possibility, so
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Maybe universes are hierarchical too.

Maybe you'd bet on a supposedly omnipotent being to not shoot itself in the head by allowing a trick a child could have thought of.

That's my headcanon anyway, he's like DBZA Frieza, he's heard it all so many times before he just keeps a tally for each species and uses it to judge their intelligence.
 
I just write said:
This scenario operates exactly as described in the title. In one timeline, diverging exactly 1.349 milliseconds after this thread is posted, a ROB approaches Earth. ROB has a simple offer in mind; the lucky chosen gets to write or say a single paragraph no longer than 5 sentences describing the world, and ROB will alter reality so that it becomes true.
...
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Hmm ...
Among the longest sentences written is Molly Bloom's soliloquy in the James Joyce novel Ulysses, which contains a sentence of 4,391 words. Jonathan Coe's The Rotters' Club appears to hold the record at 13,955 words.
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Because you know someone is going to take advantage of the fact that languages are a terrible thing.
 
I wanna be the very best.
Like no one ever was...
To catch them all is my real test.
To train them is my cause...
I will travel across the land.

That's five sentences, but I think I won't be having much trouble of getting my wish granted.
 
Dragonskyt said:
I wanna be the very best.
Like no one ever was...
To catch them all is my real test.
To train them is my cause...
I will travel across the land.

That's five sentences, but I think I won't be having much trouble of getting my wish granted.
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I, on the other side, will prove a royal headache to the ASB or ROB...
 
Anon̦̦ said:
"I, Anon, son of Anonymous and Suomynona, am a omnipotent being. And although I can, and do, know anything and everything without limit, I have choose not to purely out of whim; Since I would be bored otherwise. I know how to use my powers perfectly."
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Basically this too.
"I, Duburu, son of Duburu and Urubud, am a omnipotent being. And although I can, and do, know anything and everything without limit, I have choose not to purely out of whim; Since I would be bored otherwise. I know how to use my powers perfectly. Not to mention i am just here to hanged out"

Or make it simpler
"I, Duburu am an omnipotent being, Everything and anything is within my grasp, i am neither God nor Devil, but I am Duburu Son of earth, I am Omnipotent in the truest sense."
 
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I Lord Drenghul am Lord of the infinite void. I am all that never was or will be. I am the extinguisher of light. The harbinger of all that ceases to be.
 
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