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Episode 2: A Bit of a Fixer-Upper
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[Scene: A Laboratory in the Palace. The Emperor, Isha, Malcador, and several Custodians enter through the massive doorway.]
Isha: I'm surprised you managed to put something together so quickly. I expected you to be leery of trusting me around your projects.
Emperor: You'd be surprised at how quickly things can get done around here; it's one of the Imperium's strengths, you know.
Isha: Well, I suppose you would have to be with everything so close together.
Emperor: Of course. As far as your work is concerned, we are going to keep track of your speed and efficiency, as well as your behavior. Any misbehavior and our deal is off.
Isha: I understand. Do you have any particular requirements for my work?
Emperor: It's an assessment, so just do what needs to be done.
Isha: Alright, let me know if you need me!
[Moves herself over to the rather laden table of projects, humming cheerfully as she gets to work.]
Malcador: You know, we can still just throw her in the dungeons, it's not as though she needs to eat or drink as a warp entity.
Emperor: True, but this is a better way of assessing her personality and abilities, as well as learning of any hidden plans she might have.
Malcador: (rolls his eyes) Just because it was amusing to toy with the last few Eldar who thought it would be entertaining to try to manipulate you doesn't mean you need to play the same game with this one.
Emperor: None of them were a warp goddess made flesh, especially one well noted to being their mother deity.
Malcador: So?
Emperor: (smirks) Well, it does she mean she'd have a lot of practice in that area...
Malcador: ...I don't know why I expected anything else, given your...preferences.
Emperor: And besides that, she's a living repository of knowledge from the Old Ones themselves; it would be foolish to not try to get what information I can get from her before washing our hands of her.
Malcador: Doesn't that just make her an even bigger risk?
Emperor: She's significantly less powerful than I am right now. Combined with the wards and shackles, I'm confident we can contain her.
[Isha returns to join them, a small bounce in her step. Both the Emperor and Malcador startle.]
Isha: I'm done!
Emperor: You are?
[Malcador and the Emperor move over to the table, checking all the stuff in growing bafflement and concern. The seeds are all clearly altered and the racks of vials, once murky and cloudy, are all now clear and almost shining.]
Isha: I know, I was going a bit slow, but I was taking a few liberties with the seeds… most of them are just fixed, but I modified some of them for drought and disease resilience, as well as fruitfulness, just in case…
Emperor: I see. Is there a reason why you did so?
Isha: Well, I was showing my talents. It's one thing to restore what's there, and another to improve on it. Just because I'm weakened doesn't mean I've lost my touch.
Emperor: And the diseases?
Isha: All of them have been made into ready cures for their respective pathogens.
Malcador: (under breath) I don't believe this, she actually made a fast acting counter-agent to the Life Eater virus…
Emperor: Hmm. Well, this is all certainly impressive and says much of your abilities.
Isha: Thank you. Was that all you needed from me?
Emperor: No, that was merely the first step. Your next task will be to handle the patients currently in the infirmary, if you're willing.
Isha: (beams brightly) Of course! I'm always happy to help people in need.
Malcador: (speaking telepathically) Revelation, are you sure this is a good idea? These are people we're exposing to her, not inanimate objects.
Emperor: We need to assess her capabilities and knowledge as best as we can. Since she's a goddess of healing, this seems appropriate.
Malcador: Very well, but if this goes wrong, don't say I didn't warn you.
Emperor: It's not a problem, I can just wipe their memories afterwards so they don't remember anything, and at worst we can clean up the aftermath. (coughs and speaks to Isha) Leonidas, we're escorting her to the infirmary.
Leonidas: As you say, my liege! In formation!
[The Custodians form an honor guard around the three, and so the walk down the hall begins. The Emperor ends up walking alongside Isha.]
Emperor: So... I take it you haven't had too much trouble adjusting to your new accommodations so far?
Isha: Only a little. Time sometimes still gets away from me, and having the entirety of myself contained in a material vessel is… different.
Emperor: That's actually something I was curious about - I had no idea warp entities could make their own material forms.
Isha: Oh, I and the rest of the pantheon were shaped that way by the Old Ones, since it allowed us to coordinate with our people more effectively. Plus it would be rather difficult to counter the C'tan without some form of access to the material.
Emperor: Interesting…and then Asuryan prevented you from doing so?
Isha: (huff) He did, and I haven't forgiven him since. Doubly so for what he allowed to happen when I found a loophole in his idiotic rules…
Emperor: Loophole?
Isha: We couldn't manifest in the materium, but there was nothing that said I couldn't create something that I could communicate through to express myself to my children.
Emperor: I must confess, I can't see you as the kind of person to go looking for ways to bend the rules like that...
Isha: (laughs) I'm the patron of rebels. What else would you expect from a goddess of life?
Emperor: ...you know, that's a fair point.
Malcador: We're here.
Emperor: Ah, good. After you.
[The Emperor lets her into the infirmary, where her new patients are waiting. Isha immediately skips ahead on seeing the humans in need, hands glowing green as she checks them all over with her powers and starts to fuss.]
Emperor: (speaking psychically) ...that is some impressive work, I have to admit.
Malcador: I suppose it is to be expected of a god-construct designed with an unquestioned mastery of genetic manipulation. Still, it's strange seeing an Eldar being so kind and thoughtful. Are you sure she's not just faking it? No hidden disgust or ego at working with sick humans?
Emperor: She's not hiding anything, she's actually happy to be helping them recover.
Malcador: Are we sure she's an Eldar or a warp entity? She's not exactly filling any of the checkboxes for how they're supposed to act.
Emperor: I can't think of any other being alive who would have the aura, power and abilities she does. I had seen perhaps half of the biomancy techniques she's used so far before this, and they weren't so refined. Perhaps if we keep her around, we could actually accelerate some of our plans...
Malcador: Aren't you worried about her trying to undermine you? If she really is the mother of the Eldar...
Emperor: It wouldn't be anything that we couldn't handle with a solid application of fire if necessary. Besides, I chose patients whose conditions would actually pose a challenge to her.
[Screen shift over to the patients, of which the first two are already healed, looking shocked and elated with all the bandages and wires gone.]
Patient 1: I- my head is clear, and I don't feel like I'm falling apart anymore!
Patient 2: All my mutations are gone! I feel normal!
Patient 1: It's a miracle! Praise the lady!
All of them: (excited) Oorah!
[Back to the Emperor and Malcador, who sit in silence for a moment.]
Malcador: So.
Emperor: This is fine, I have this completely under control.
Malcador: Of course you do.
Emperor: So I may have underestimated her capabilities a little. I wasn't expecting her to be able to do so much so quickly in her weakened state. What else can we use to test her?
Malcador: Do you seriously expect me to just conjure up a solution to your own failed attempt to prove she has a hidden agenda?
Emperor: Yes!
Malcador: Fine, just give me a moment to think...don't we still have that one Thunder Warrior who was scheduled for some experimental gene therapies to see if we could stabilize him? We could use him for this instead.
Emperor: (thoughtful) Yes, that should work. (speaking verbally) Leonidas, bring that Thunder Warrior who was due to be treated tomorrow, here, quickly and discreetly.
Leonidas: As you say, my liege! (off he goes)
[The Emperor and Malcador scoot themselves over to the group of patients, watching Isha work through them like a healing machine.]
Emperor: You seem to be doing well.
Isha: (scoff) I'm not going to be sloppy when lives are on the line. I would have been faster, but I wanted to ensure their constitutions were up to snuff so they didn't have to spend time building their strength back up so that they can get back to their normal lives as soon as possible.
Emperor: Even the one with the warp mutations?
Isha: Oh, yes, that poor girl was easy enough to fix. Chaos may have a fixation on disgusting and harmful mutations, but their methods of doing so are crude and easy to reverse if you know what to do. (distracted with patient) No, stay still while I'm regrowing half your internal tissues, would you?
Emperor: So what exactly are you doing with this one?
Isha: Well, this boy's multi-organ degeneracy was caused by flaws in the genetic matrix along several chromosomal flaws interacting poorly, so I had to unwind and rewrite his genetic sequencing in order to have them produce the appropriate proteins. Once I re-wrapped them all, I sliced out all the currently damaged to dead material and faulty proteins and ground them all into their component material to use as resources for rapid cellular growth to replace the missing tissues. I'm just finishing that up, actually, and then I'm going to do a last go over for any smaller damages or concerns I need to correct before I'm finished with him and I can turn him over to you.
Emperor: Excellent. I'm glad to see your work is going so well. (mentally) Hopefully, the Thunder Warrior will be an actual challenge for her...
Malcador: (peeks in on the scene) They're back with the package. Do you want him brought in?
Emperor: In a minute or two, let her finish up with this first.
Malcador: As you say.
Isha: (steps back and wipes her hands on her clothing) They're all healed up, if you wanted to give them a checkup yourself.
Emperor: I'll have my geneticists and apothecaries do that in a moment. As for you, I have one last task I need you to do for me before you are returned to your rooms.
Isha: Oh? What is it?
Emperor: Malcador? The subject?
Malcador: Bring in the subject.
[Leonidas and another custodian come in, a snarling and writhing Thunder Warrior between them trying to escape, but between the shackles and the muzzle, there's no place he's going, especially being held between the custodians.]
Leonidas: The subject is here for evaluation, my liege!
Emperor: Based on your work with the other human subjects, I trust this one shouldn't be too much harder to handle…
[Isha is perfectly still, but there's a high pitched noise that sounds suspiciously like a kettle about to go off coming from her general area.]
Emperor: Is something the matter?
Isha: (angry) The matter? The matter? What's wrong is how you butchered this poor man's genetic sequencing! What in the name of the Old Ones did you do to him?
Emperor: I'm so sorry my work doesn't meet your exacting standards, but this was all I could do with the limited resources, flawed technology and geneticists with incomplete knowledge that I had available.
Isha: (voice low and dangerous) Then step aside so I can fix it.
Emperor: The warrior, the machinery, or the geneticists?
Isha: Yes.
[Isha shoves the custodians out of the way to grab the Thunder Warrior, who has gone perfectly still and wide eyed at being gently manhandled. The custodians also back away cautiously.]
Isha: (hissing) Time for a health check up.
[Scene goes back to the Emperor and Malcador, with the two custodians also watching the offscreen noises of frustrated muttering from the goddess and yelps and whimpers and occasional scream of the Warrior.]
Isha: (angry muttering offscreen) -can't believe there's no compensation for the muscles literally tearing the body apart, what sort of idiot-
Emperor: ...she's rather attractive when she's angry.
Malcador: (disgusted noise) You have absolutely no taste in women whatsoever.
Emperor: What can I say, I like women with some fire to them, who are willing to push back. It's more enjoyable when there's a challenge.
Malcador: If nothing else, you probably can't make as much of a mess of this as you did with your last relationship. Probably.
Isha: (angry muttering offscreen) -a stupid amount of protien buildup in the brain tissue, how he's even capable of speech I have no clue, what were you thinking-
Emperor: (huff) I'll have you know that was a mutual decision by Alivia and I to put an end to our relationship so that we could both pursue greater goals for the sake of mankind.
Malcador: You left her behind to watch a warp gate by teleporting off-world after dropping the assignment on her without even saying goodbye.
Emperor: ...it would have been awkward. There would almost certainly have been crying and guilt tripping involved.
Malcador: And you would have deserved every moment of it.
Isha: (frustrated huff) Done.
[Screen shifts back over to her just as she lets the Thunder Warrior thump to the floor, insensate.]
Isha: (spins to face the Emperor, finger pointing at him) And if I ever have to deal with gene-work that sloppy again without prior warning, there will be words.
[Storms out of the lab, two of the custodians yelping before rushing after. Another moment of silence between the Emperor and Malcador commences.]
Emperor: I think that went well.
Malcador: Let's see if you still feel that when you see the amount of paperwork this little stunt of yours will have generated.
Emperor: Still, I'm surprised. I had no idea she had a temper like that. I thought she was described as gentle and nurturing.
Malcador: Maybe you should consider not trying to seduce her, since this is a xeno warp goddess. Who knows what kind of STDs she can conjure on the fly for you to suffer from?
Emperor: (now a bit flustered) Just because she's clearly much more intelligent and attractive than expected doesn't mean I'm actually going to try to sleep with her. As I said before, I'm just being gracious because that's the best way to gather information.
[Silent, judgmental look from Malcador.]
Emperor: ...not yet, at least. I can't do that until I can afford to kick her out afterwards.
Malcador: And potentially allow her to run off with the secrets of the Imperium to her people?
Emperor: It will be fine, I have complete control over this situation. She won't learn anything we don't want her to.
[A dataslate comes flying in from the side, smacking the Emperor in the face before it lands in his hands.]
Isha: (In the distance) EDUCATE YOURSELF AND FIX THEM.
[Brief silence ensues.]
Emperor: ...It will be fine, I have complete control over this situation.
Malcador: As you say, my lord. I have no doubt your usual dignity and competence will see you through this situation as well as it has every other time.
Emperor: (dryly) Thank you for the vote of confidence, my friend.