Many of you will have seen a rough draft of this, which I won't link to because it contains...
[Evangelion] Doing It Right This Time
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Chapter 1 Part 1
- Location
- The Midlands.
Many of you will have seen a rough draft of this, which I won't link to because it contains spoilers. I'd like to think I've addressed most of the issues with the previous incarnation, especially everyone seeming too sane and well-adjusted. Speaking of which...
I don't usually go in for trigger warnings, but the early parts of this story are going to be very light on the WAFF and very heavy on themes of suicide and mental illness. If you have any past history with either of those, this might be hard to read. (For damn sure it was hard to write at times.) Also... If you've been following Advice and Trust, you know what an "Israfael Special" is. It will be happening in this fic.
So, without further ado, let us begin.
TABThree months before the Third Angel reached Tokyo-3, Shinji Ikari surprised his uncle one morning by requesting permission to sign up for martial arts classes. Tomoe Ikari thought it over, gave his consent -on the condition that his nephew did not allow his newfound interest in physical fitness to affect his schoolwork- and made inquiries at a respectable local dojo.
TABSome hours later that same day, Asuka Langley-Soryu walked into an Internet cafe in Berlin, accessed an anonymous remailer service and sent a long and detailed message to Kaji Ryouji telling him several things he wasn't previously aware of. The message contained a time and a place to discuss these revelations further.
TABLater that evening, Rei Ayanami walked into Commander Ikari's office and slapped him hard enough to knock his glasses off.
TABEvents had ceased to proceed according to the Scenario.
* * *
TABShinji watched the train pull away, leaving him alone on a deserted station platform with his cello case and a bulky duffel bag that contained nearly all of his worldly possessions. "Well," he said aloud, "here I go again."
TABHe swung the cello case over his shoulder and lifted the bag in one hand, pleased at how little effort it took. Three months of judo classes and some rather intensive fitness training to go with it had paid off.
TABHe glanced at the LCD display of his SDAT player. Thirty minutes early, good; Captain Katsuragi would probably appreciate that. Now hopefully the payphones would be working...
TABA deafening wail echoed across Tokyo-3. "Damn," Shinji muttered. So much for that plan.
TABA man in railway company uniform ran out through a door marked 'Employees Only'. "Hey, kid! We need to report to the disaster shelters, quickly! This isn't a drill!"
TABAnd don't I know it. "I was supposed to meet someone here. Can I let them know where I am?"
TAB"You can telephone from the shelter. Come on, we have to hurry!"
TAB"Call for you on Line One, ma'am. It's the Commander's son."
TAB"This soon? Okay, I'll take it here. Captain Katsuragi. You're a little early, Shinji."
TAB"I thought I'd better err on the side of punctuality, Captain. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I'm in Shelter... 322B."
TAB"Alright. Sit tight, kid, we'll have someone come pick you up once we've dealt with the current crisis. I gotta go." She hung up. "Status of the Angel?"
TAB"It just made landfall. JASDF reports multiple missile impacts, no effect on target."
TAB"Understood. Ritsuko, how're we doing?"
TAB"Pre-launch checks will be complete any moment now. Synch rate at 55% and holding. We're about as ready as we'll ever be, Misato." Dr Akagi brushed a strand of blonde hair out of her eyes. "I still don't like this."
TAB"Me neither, but we haven't got time to prep Unit-01. Speaking of... Rei? You might be interested to know that the new kid just got here. He's in a shelter near the station."
TAB"Understood, Captain. Thank you for letting me know."
TABInside the entry plug, Rei smiled to herself. "And all proceeds according to the Scenario."
TABIn a quiet corner of Shelter 322B, Shinji glanced at his watch and began to get seriously worried. They were running out of time, damn it! If Misato didn't get here soon then there was no way in hell they'd reach the cage before-
TABThe whole shelter vibrated, and a few moments later a dull boom could be heard echoing across the city. "What the hell was that?" someone yelled, startled.
TAB"The military must've hit the Angel with something big," a man in NERV uniform replied. "Either an N2 mine or a fuel-air explosive."
TAB"Never works in the movies," a third voice muttered.
TABThere was another, longer vibration. "And that," the NERV employee continued with a proud grin, "is the secret anti-kaiju weapon that will work!"
TABThere was a general stampede towards the door to see what was happening. Shinji stared open-mouthed up at the familiar orange-and-white form of Unit-00 as it made its way towards the Angel. It turned to look down at the shelter entrance as everyone erupted in wild cheers, and he could have sworn that single eye was looking right at him.
TAB"Rei...?" he whispered.
TABThe Evangelion inclined its head slightly, as if in acknowledgement, and turned towards its target. The Angel turned towards Unit-00 and unleashed an impossibly crucifix-shaped blast of pink light, but the Eva was already dodging behind a building and drawing its Progressive Knife.
TAB"Rei, there's a weapon locker a hundred metres to the north of your position," said Misato.
TAB"Thank you for the thought, Captain, but that will not be necessary." The comms window wasn't particularly high-resolution, but Misato could still make out an unholy gleam in the blue-haired girl's eyes. "I would prefer to solve this problem in a more... hands-on fashion."
TAB"Rei, I really don't think that's a good idea!"
TAB"Excuse me, Captain, I have an Angel to kill." The picture disappeared.
TABMisato just sighed. "This is not going to end... Holy shit."
TAB"I'm not wild about her methods," Ritsuko agreed, "but I can't argue with her results. I wonder if they even have reproductive organs there?"
TAB"If they do, I'm actually feeling a little sorry for the Angel. And either way, it definitely has kneecaps. Well, one kneecap and thousands of tiny floating bones where the other one used to be, anyway... Oh for fucksake. Rei, that was someone's apartment you just redecorated with the Angel's face! If we get sued for that it's coming out of your pay! And what the hell are you-?" The whole Geofront shook. "Okay, now you're just showing off."
TAB"I didn't know she was into professional wrestling," Maya added.
TAB"Actually, I think she got that one from Final Fantasy. Rei, will you please put the Angel out of its misery now? Toying with it like this is really unprofessional and kind of creepy."
TAB"Understood, Captain. My apologies. I may have been... excessively zealous in following Ritsuko-san's advice to take my feelings towards Commander Ikari out on the enemy." There was a horrible squelching noise, clearly audible even over the comms. "Angel neutralised."
TABMisato sighed. "I'm signing her up for anger-management classes."
TABMeanwhile, outside Shelter 322B, Shinji watched as Unit-00 wiped the blade of its Progressive Knife clean on the Angel's hide. "Well," he said to himself, "that... happened."
* * *
TABApproximately three months earlier...
TABIf this is Instrumentality, it's really not all it's cracked up to be.
TABShinji stared up at the ceiling. It was as far from unfamiliar as a ceiling could possibly be, which would have been vaguely reassuring if it hadn't been the ceiling he had last seen shortly before getting That Letter and starting down the slow but inexorable path to... Well, whatever the hell had happened.
TABHe was back in Uncle Tomoe's spare bedroom (he could never think of it as his own room) in one of the few intact suburbs of Tokyo-1. A very reluctant glance at the display of his SDAT player suggested that it was about three months before the Third Angel was due to arrive.
TABShinji sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. He didn't see any point in wondering whether or not this was real; considering he'd been at least partly responsible for shattering the very fabric of reality and/or turning the entire human race -less himself, a two hundred-foot naked copy of his sister(?) and Asuka- into LCL to experience some rather nebulous transhumanist paradise, skepticism about mere mental time travel seemed rather silly.
TAB"So, what now?" he said aloud, staring at nothing.
TABCould he just ignore the letter and hope his alleged father decided to recruit someone else? Or he could simply disappear. He had a little money, enough for a room in a cheap motel for a few nights; he could lie about his age, pick up some work waiting tables or something and-
TABYeah... no. Fuck that. Running had got him precisely nowhere the last time around. This time, he could...
TABWell, what exactly? Pickpocket Misato for her sidearm and blow Gendo's head off? Hmmm... Tempting, but probably impractical. Lay his cards on the table, tell his father everything and hope he decided to make a few last-minute adjustments to the Scenario? Rather a vain hope if he couldn't prove anything. Try to beat the man at his own game, subtly working behind the scenes to undo the Scenario one small gesture at a time? Yeah, right. No amount of foreknowledge was going to let him out-Gendo Gendo.
TABShinji drew a sharp breath as the feeling of helplessness began to weigh down on him. What the hell was he meant to do differently when so much had been outside his control?
TABThis must have been how Asuka felt towards the end, he reflected gloomily. Helpless, no longer in control of her own destiny, totally alone...
TABBecause I was too afraid of rejection to reach out to her. Or to Rei. But I'm not scared anymore.
TABShinji laughed at himself a little. Okay, that wasn't entirely accurate. But there was something perversely liberating about the certain knowledge that he had nothing left to lose. After all, how could he possibly fuck everything up worse than total human extinction?
TABI can't do anything about SEELE, or my father, or Third Impact. But I can try and be a better friend.
* * *
TABAsuka awoke with a jolt, grabbing for the knife under her... pillow? That was weird. Pillows had not been a feature of her life recently, what with... Oh. Oh, yeah.
TABMemories came back to her in a flood. Running into Shinji at the beach. The shouting match, the brief and inconclusive scuffle while she tried to drive her knife into his heart, and the long and surprisingly civilised conversation that had followed. The moment they'd walked into the sea together... After that there was nothing but a jumble of blurred images and the faint impression of a familiar voice saying, "Good luck."
TABAnd now she was... back in Berlin. This was her old room. Judging from the concert ticket pinned to the noticeboard it was ten weeks before she was due to set off for Japan.
TABAsuka couldn't have articulated exactly what she'd been expecting to happen after she'd finally gone under, but this was definitely not it.
TABA desperate, slightly hysterical giggle bubbled out before she could stop it. "It's a do-over," she breathed. "It's a motherfucking do-over!" She fairly bounced out of bed and snatched up her dressing gown. "I'm gonna do it right this time," she muttered, throwing open the curtains. "I'm gonna have the best damn synch score ever now. Well... I can live with tied for first place with Shinji, I guess." She filled her electric kettle from the small wash-basin in one corner of her room. "Heh. I think I'll work on synchronising a little better with him too, after I beat the crap out of his asshole dad... Maybe I can defuse Commander Creepybeard's precious blue-haired tykebomb too? Well, she is kinda the baka's sister, wouldn't hurt to try being nice to her either way. In fact, screw it. If my life's going to turn into the biggest fanfiction cliche ever I'm just gonna roll with it and be the ultimate Mary-Sue, because I have earned some verdammt wish fulfilment in my life... And I really need to raise my blood sugar and blood caffeine levels because that sounded crazy even to myself."
* * *
TABRei awoke suddenly, feeling... strange. Everything seemed brighter and sharper, a mental sensation not unlike what she imagined it was like to see through a pair of glasses for the first time.
TABGlasses... She turned to the nightstand. There should be a pair of glasses there. The Commander's...
TABAnd then Rei remembered everything.
TABHer scream brought four Section 2 agents crashing through the door, guns drawn. "Miss Ayanami! Are you alright?"
TAB"I... I'm fine," she replied shakily. "A nightmare. I am not hurt, just shaken."
TAB"We can summon Doctor Akagi-"
TAB"No!" she half-shouted, then took several deep breaths. "Forgive me. There is no need; I will speak to her before the synchronisation test today. Please, excuse me: I would like to get dressed."
TAB"We'll be right outside," promised the senior agent, an older man who gave her a look of fatherly concern. Wordlessly, they withdrew.
TABRei lay back in bed and waited for her heart to stop pounding. This made no sense. She had fulfilled her purpose. She had joined with Lilith, and then in a belated moment of independent thought had chosen what she thought was the lesser of two evils... far, far too late to actually help.
TABAnd then it was all something of a blur, but she definitely remembered seeing Kaworu. He'd said... something, she wasn't sure what, but it had felt reassuring. And now she was back in her apartment in Tokyo-3, as if Instrumentality had never happened.
TABRealisation dawned, and Rei leapt out of bed. She grabbed her school laptop and waited impatiently while it booted up, then stared at the time-and-date display at the bottom corner of the login screen.
TABFor the first time in her life, Rei Ayanami resorted to a real swear-word. "Oh, shit." She clamped both hands over her mouth to stop herself from bursting out laughing-
TABAnd then she felt a sudden stab of fear at the sheer intensity of the emotion, which was like nothing she'd ever felt before. She glanced over at the untidy stack of pill bottles on the nightstand. They will keep you from becoming distracted, Commander Ikari's voice said in her memory. Apparently whoever was responsible for sending her back in time had decided she might benefit from getting a little distracted, because this was ten times worse -or better?- than when she finally said 'no' to Gendo Ikari for once after skipping her meds for a week.
TABThis was going to be a problem. If the Commander even suspected she was considering rebellion then she'd be replaced, and who knew what he'd do to her memory before uploading it to a new clone. And if Dr Akagi realised she wasn't taking her prescribed medicine-
TABThen she remembered the... altercation in Terminal Dogma. Dr Akagi, Rei realised, might just be an important ally given the right encouragement.
* * *
TABKaworu Nagisa awoke slowly and peacefully, and smiled. "Oh, good," he said to himself, stifling a yawn. "I really wasn't certain that was going to work."
* * *
TABRyouji Kaji got out of his car and looked around. "Alright," he said conversationally. "You were smart enough to use an anonymous remailer, so that's a point in your favour, but the stroke of midnight in a parking garage? Really?"
TAB"What can I say? I'm a born show-off." Asuyka stepped out from behind a pillar. "We need to talk, Kaji."
TAB"What the-?"
TAB"I'm gonna come straight to the point, okay? I know what Misato's dad was really doing in Antarctica and I know what Gendo Ikari's really planning to do in Tokyo-3. I know all this because it [already happened, but we apparently shattered the very fabric of reality so badly that God threw up His hands and restored from an old back-up, but for whatever reason I remember everything."
TABKaji just stared at her.
TAB"You think this is some harebrained roleplay thing? Fucksake, Kaji, I walked into your cabin on the boat carrying Unit-02 to Japan wearing nothing but a smile and you still turned me down. You're not over Misato yet, I get it. She's not over you yet either if that makes you feel better."
TABKaji sat down heavily on the hood of his car. "This is crazy."
TABAsuka laughed, bitterly. "I know it is. But that doesn't mean it's not really happening. I guess I'd better start at the beginning..."
* * *
TAB"I got a report from Section 2 this morning, Rei. Are you alright?"
TAB"I believe so, Doctor Akagi. It was simply a nightmare."
TAB"Hmmm." Ritsuko gave her a curious look. "Do you remember what it was about?"
TAB"Not in detail. But I do recall something else." Rei hesitated. "It brought to mind something I overheard your mother saying. I hesitate to ask this, Doctor, but could you carry out a comparative DNA test on myself?"
TABRitsuko blinked. "Whatever for?"
TAB"I want to know who my biological mother was. I suspect it may not have been Yui Ikari, as the Commander believes."
TAB"O... kay." Ritsuko rummaged in the cabinet above her desk. "I'll need to take a swab. Does the Commander know about this?"
TAB"No. I would prefer it if this remained confidential until you can obtain the result."
TAB"Very well."
TABAfter Rei had left, Ritsuko placed the sample in an envelope and filled out the necessary paperwork for the test, then sat for a long moment staring at nothing. Whose eggs would Mom even be able to switch out for Yui's? she wondered. And more importantly, why? A practical joke seemed like a bit of a stretch, even accounting for Naoko's... idiosyncratic sense of humour. Some blackmail and/or revenge scheme over a real or imagined slight by Gendo, Yui or the third party the egg actually belonged to? Well, maybe, but the consequences if Gendo found out the only thing left of his beloved wife was-
TABOh.
TABOh, fuck.
TABRitsuko scribbled the word "URGENT" on the envelope. She needed these results ten minutes ago.
TABThree hours later, there was a knock at the door. "Sempai?"
TAB"Come in, Maya."
TAB"Sempai, the medical lab asked me to bring these results. They wouldn't tell me what the matter was but I could tell it's bad. What's going on?"
TAB"I'll tell you in a moment." Ritsuko accepted the sealed envelope, and opened it with shaking hands.
TABThe slip of paper fell from her nerveless fingers as Ritsuko fell to her knees. "Sempai! Sempai, what's wrong?"
TAB"I have a sister," Ritsuko almost whispered. "I have a sister, and I'm helping Gendo turn her into... Oh, God." She burst into tears.
TAB"I don't understand."
TAB"Look!" Ritsuko grabbed the printout and thrust it towards the younger girl. "Read the results. They still had Mom's DNA profile in the records. She must've had an egg left over from the MAGI, and... Oh, fucking hell. She was sleeping with him. She must have been. Why else would she do this? She was trying to baby trap Gendo. Who was cheating on me. With my own mother!" she screamed. "I am going to murder him! Mother of God, I've dated some really lousy men over the years but this is a goddam record. I give up. I really do. You wanna be my torrid lesbian rebound fling?"
TAB"Yes!" Maya squeaked, before she could stop herself, then clapped both hands over her mouth in horror.
TABThis had the effect of shocking Ritsuko out of her steadily increasing hysteria. "Uh... We never had that conversation, okay? And on a totally unrelated note, meet me after your shift finishes and we'll go for a completely platonic drink somewhere, because I could really use some company." She stood up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go and have a talk with Rei."
TABMaya stared after her boss and formerly-secret crush as she disappeared down the corridor. "What the hell just happened?"
* * *
TABFinding a church that was unlocked outside of services was pretty hard these days, but Asuka knew of at least one. It was an old turn of the 20th century building, dilapidated in a homey sort of way, tucked into a back-street not far from the park where her mother had taken her to run around. One of her few clear memories of Mama before the Accident was of ducking in here to get out of a sudden rain shower.
TABI'm sure God won't mind, as long as you behave yourself, she'd said fondly, taking Asuka's sodden pullover to hang over a radiator to dry off. And Asuka had sat next to her mother and chattered about everyday things until the sun came out again.
TABAnd then three weeks later her mother had come out of the prototype Entry Plug all empty-eyed and broken and wrong, and Asuka had thought that this must mean God did mind after all. She hadn't set foot in a church since... until today.
TABThe place was empty, as she'd expected it to be on a beautiful spring afternoon in mid-week. She sat on one of the pews near the front and stared up at the plain wooden cross affixed to the back wall.
TAB"So," she said slowly. "Our father, who art in heaven, yada yada yada. I know, we haven't spoken in a long time; I kinda stopped believing in you for a while, truth be told. I mean, no God was better than a God that let that happen to Mama. I was pretty mad at you for that at the time, but now that I'm in possession of all the facts... Well, actually I'm still mad at you. Second Impact, the Angels, whatever the hell happened to the planet after Wondergirl decided to hand Shinji phenomenal cosmic power the same day he finally got around to having that psychotic break he'd been procrastinating about since the clusterfuck with Toji and the Angel of Gundamjacking: I'm pretty sure at least half of that was your fault. Jeez, I appreciate a hands-off management style as much as anyone, but there's limits..."
TABShe sighed. "But apparently you hit the reset button, so I have a shot at making things less of a cataclysmic shitshow this time around. Low bar to clear, I know, but hey. So... Thanks for that, I guess. We have a long way to go before we rebuild our relationship still, but it's a big step in the right direction. Just... If I have some great divinely-mandated destiny and you're not just doing this out of morbid curiosity, please give me the occasional nudge in the direction of not fucking it all up? Surely you owe me that much. Oh, and please don't get all judgemental if I trade in some purity points to make Shinji less emo, that kid needs all the help he can get." She blew out a long breath. "Amen, I guess."
TAB"Feel better?" Kaji asked her, when she left the church about half an hour later.
TAB"A little, actually."
TAB"Good. Though you'll be glad to know some more mundane protective measures have been arranged. The custom work you wanted is gonna take a couple of weeks though."
TAB"No big deal. I don't know when we're leaving yet."
TAB"Are you sure this is a good idea?"
TAB"The UN trusts me with the keys to a biomechanical mecha that can reliably solo an entire armoured division and you're worried about me carrying a pocket pistol?"
TAB"It's not you I'm worried about."
* * *
TAB"You know about the test results." It wasn't a question.
TAB"Very little goes on within Headquarters that I do not know about, Doctor," Gendo replied.
TAB"Including the fact that my mother pulled the oldest trick in the book to make you commit to someone who isn't legally dead?" Ritsuko said coldly. "Or maybe this was your doing. You already traded Mom in for the new model, why not me too in another five years? If you're planning to wait that long!"
TABGendo had the good grace to at least look a little guilty. "My relationship with your mother lasted approximately four months, and was broken off by mutual agreement after the third violent quarrel in as many weeks. She insisted that we behave as if it never happened. This took place two years before Rei was 'born'." He sighed. "I didn't know about any of this. I don't know why she substituted her own genetic material for Yui's, or why she didn't tell me, but I sincerely doubt it was because she was jealous of you or because she'd fallen in love with me."
TAB"Did she know you and I were seeing one another?"
TAB"Yes. I left it up to her whether to inform you about her prior... liaison, with me. I suppose she felt you were better off not knowing."
TAB"Did you love her?"
TAB"Ritsuko, I have only ever truly loved one woman. Naoko understood that better than anyone. But I did care about her, and I do care about you."
TAB"And about your son?"
TABGendo looked up, startled. Rei was standing in the doorway, her expression uncharacteristically hard. "Forgive me for interrupting, nee-san," she said calmly. "May I speak with the Commander in private?"
TAB"Of course." Ritsuko stood up. "Gendo... I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't act out of malice, but I want the key to my apartment back until I've had time to process all this. Rei, I'll see you after work."
TABGendo stood up. "Rei..." he began.
TABShe didn't look it, but between her Nephillim biology and regular physical training for her role as a pilot, Rei was remarkably strong. Her slap had enough force behind it to send Gendo sprawling, his glasses flying off into a distant corner.
TAB"That," she said coldly, "was for Shinji."
TAB"How do you even know his name?" he demanded, too stunned to be angry.
TAB"Because I have seen the Scenario play out to the end." Rei's eyes began to glow faintly. "And you failed."
* * *
TABNow...
TAB"Welcome to Tokyo-3, Shinji! I'm Captain Katsuragi, senior operations officer for NERV. Your father asked me to bring you to headquarters."
TAB"A pleasure," Shinji replied sincerely. "I take it you had some part in the giant robot beating up the kaiju?"
TAB"Got it in one. Hop in, we'll talk on the way."
TABShinji was mildly pleased with himself for only needing to grab the Jesus-handle twice for the whole ride, and managed an admiring whistle as they descended to the Geofront. "I've heard the stories, but they really don't do it justice," he said.
TAB"You ain't seen nothing yet, kid!"
TABDr Akagi was wearing ordinary clothing under her labcoat this time, and looking noticeably less frazzled. "Right on time, Misato. And this would be our new Pilot candidate, I take it?"
TAB"Indeed. Shinji, meet Dr Ritsuko Akagi, head of Project E and senior repair and maintenance officer for the Evangelion Project. Rits, meet Shinji Ikari, prospective Third Child and pilot of Evangelion Unit-01."
TAB"Ikari..." Ritsuko scowled. "I will warn you now, boy. Your family name will not entitle you to any preferential treatment whatsoever. If your performance is less than exemplary then I can and will overrule the Commander and have you discharged."
TABShinji blinked. Trouble in paradise already? "I neither expect preferential treatment nor desire it, Doctor Akagi," he replied with a calm he didn't really feel. "I wish only to prove myself worthy of my mother's name, and her sacrifice."
TABWell, she certainly hadn't been expecting that. Ritsuko gave Shinji a long, calculating look. "Your mother, not your father?" she said thoughtfully.
TABHe laughed, bitterly. "You've met my father."
TABShe granted him a small smile. "Maybe you'll do after all. Misato, give the rookie the ten-cent tour and then meet me in the test chamber in thirty minutes."
TAB"Alright. C'mon, Shinji."
TAB"She doesn't like the Commander much, does she?"
TAB"Good question," Misato replied, after a moment's thought. "They... Well, they're not on good terms just now, but it's not my place to talk about why."
TAB"Then I'll put it down to my father being my father," Shinji decided. At least for now, he added mentally. Dr Akagi was high up on the list of people he wanted on his side. "By the way, when do I get to meet the pilot who took down the Angel?"
TAB"Rei? She's still getting debriefed at the moment. But that reminds me, there's someone else I need to introduce you to."
TABAsuka ejected the empty magazine, set down her pistol and pressed the button to reel in the targets. Three neat holes had been punched in each, two in the centre of mass and one in the head.
TAB"You know, you're actually getting pretty good," Misato remarked. "Shinji, this is Asuka Langley-Soryu, pilot of Evangelion Unit-02. She's assigned to our Berlin branch, but volunteered to fly out here to carry out some joint training with us. Asuka, this is Shinji Ikari, who'll hopefully be taking Unit-01."
TABShinji managed to sketch a brief, formal bow. "H...hi," he stammered out, hoping like hell that they'd take his astonishment for shyness. The Great Asuka Soryu here, already, and apparently voluntarily training a potential rival for Best Pilot Ever? Events hadn't just gone off the rails, they'd careered down an embankment and ploughed into the Twilight Zone.
TABAsuka smirked. "Awfully skinny for an Eva pilot. So, when do I get to start breaking him in?"
TAB"Soon as we get him fitted for a plugsuit and test his synch rate." Misato's phone went off. "Damn. Sorry, I gotta take this one," she said, glancing at the screen. "I'll let you two get to know each other, 'kay?" She stepped out into the corridor.
TAB"Okay, if Kaji's as good as his word, we've got five minutes before anyone notices the camera feed just glitched out." Asuka took a deep breath. "What I'm about to tell you is probably gonna sound crazy, but..."
TAB"You remember." Shinji sagged onto a nearby bench as everything he'd planned, everything he'd allowed himself to hope for, came down around his ears.
TAB"Yep. Including what you thought I was unconscious for, and yes, you really are fucked up."
TAB"Oh." Shinji glanced at the handgun on the ledge behind her and sighed. Most people would be totally undone by the sudden onset of crushing, irredeemable failure, a small detached part of him reflected; what did it say about him that the only emotional response he could muster this time was exasperation? "I don't suppose 'sorry' really covers that, does it. Oh, fuck it all. Just pass the gun over here, there's no point in leaving Rei to do everything by herself. Tell them I had a dreadful firearm-safety lapse."
TABAsuka stared at him open-mouthed.
TAB"Honestly, I don't even know why I'm surprised," he continued. "I mean, why would I be reliving this if not because God didn't think I'd suffered enough going through it the first time? So of course I've failed before I've even begun when it comes to being a better friend this time around, that was the one thing I could do by way of damage control for the utterly mental shit we're going to be put through over the next nine months before the world ends. Well, screw that. I'm going to do us both a huge favour and leave early to avoid the rush." He stood up abruptly and crossed the distance between them in two quick strides. "I know I've no right to ask anything of you," he said sadly, "but I'd be grateful if you'd try and reach out to Rei." He reached for the gun.
TAB"Shinji no!" Asuka grabbed his wrist and forcibly interposed herself between him and the pistol. "Jesus Christ, baka, will you listen to me for a minute? I did not spend sixteen hours crammed into an economy-class seat just so I could blow you away, let alone guilt-trip you into doing it yourself! C'mon, I know I can be a vindictive bitch but at least credit me with being smart enough to pick a better time and place than this!"
TAB"I thought this was more of a spur-of-the-moment thing," he replied.
TAB"Trying to stab you when we ran into each other by Misato's memorial was spur of the moment. I've had three months to plan this meet-up. Besides," she said with a sour little smile, "you masturbating over my comatose body was far from the worst thing to happen to me that week. At least it proved you were too dumb to know when you're being hit on instead of just gay."
TABShinji blinked a couple of times. "What," he said at last.
TABAsuka raised her eyes heavenwards. "Listen up, Third Child. This is what we're gonna do. You're gonna get your Synch Rate tested, and then you and Wondergirl are gonna get a crash course in Eva piloting from the best-trained pilot in the business. And after that, we are gonna work together to stomp on every last Angel until it can be mailed, and in between Angels we're going to figure out what the hell to do about those twisted fucks your dad works for. And if you promise to try not to be a wet blanket who apologises for his very existence, I promise I'll try to use less tsun and more dere this time, because I want to be a better friend too. Now, let's write everything that happened before off as all just a prophetic dream or something; you can even imagine me muttering about it in the shower after the opening credits have finished if that helps."
TAB"Huh?"
TABShe snorted. "Never mind. And Shinji?" Asuka pulled him into a fierce hug. "Don't you ever fucking scare me like that again, okay?"
TABShinji was too shellshocked to do much more than nod mutely. But all the same, he had to admit he felt a little bit better.
TABMaybe things were looking up.
* * *
TABHis good mood lasted about ten minutes. "Is it absolutely necessary to pilot an Evangelion wearing skin-tight neoprene?" Shinji grumbled. He'd always hated plugsuits, but then he'd always hated damn near everything about this job so he'd never bothered to make an issue of it. But now he knew what was coming, he really thought he ought to take a stand.
TABNobody, he reasoned, should have to confront Armageddon in a gimp suit.
TAB"It's not actually neoprene, but yes. It's this or go in buck naked; LCL will ruin any other fabric. And cheer up, it's not like Rei or Asuka can tease you," Misato pointed out. "They have to wear the exact same thing."
TAB"Yeah, except I make 'em look good!" Asuka added.
TAB"And don't you know it," he sighed, refusing to spoil the effect by admiring just how well the suit showed off her curves. Asuka stuck her tongue out at him.
TABAnd then the three of them entered the hangar, and Shinji saw his father standing on the gantry leading to Unit-00's cage. He forced himself to unclench his fists and tried, not very successfully, to keep his expression neutral.
TABNo more running, he told himself. Not this time.
TABAnd then Gendo turned around, and Shinji saw the dark smudges under his father's eyes, and the faded but still noticeable bruise on his cheek. What the...?
TAB"Shinji," he said as neutrally as he could.
TAB"Father," Shinji replied, pleased with himself for keeping his voice even. "It's been a long time."
TAB"Yes. Too long." Gendo looked like he was struggling to think of something to say. "You are ready for the synch-test?"
TAB"As much as I ever will be." Shinji felt a sudden surge of wild courage. "Is there a reason I'm piloting the one that ate Mother?"
TABThis didn't get the reaction he was hoping for. "Yes, there is," Gendo replied calmly. "But this is not the time or the place to discuss it. I must go."
TABAnd before Shinji could open his mouth to say anything further, he was attempting some sort of speed record for the 300 Metre Nonchalant Walk in the direction of the exit.
TAB"Well, that was a touching family reunion," Asuka remarked, breaking the awkward silence.
TAB"Could've been worse. He could've forced me into the Eva to go fight the Angel with absolutely no training whatsoever because the only other pilot got put in hospital in a botched synch-test or something," Shinji replied.
TABMisato gave him a long and very thoughtful look, then shook her head. "Well, anyway. Ritsuko must be around here somewhere, she's probably the person Commander Ikari was avoiding."
TAB"Actually, Captain, I suspect he may have been avoiding me."
TABShinji's head shot upwards at the familiar voice. Perched casually on Unit-00's shoulder, Rei met his gaze and smiled that little Mona Lisa smile that had made him harbour thoughts he was somewhat embarrassed about. Before he could form any terribly advanced conclusions, she stood up and leapt from the Evangelion, landing on the catwalk in a practiced crouch.
TAB"Pilots Ikari and Soryu, I presume?" she said casually, as she stood up. "I am Rei Akagi, Pilot of Evangelion Unit-00, and Ritsuko's half-sister."
TABShinji gave up on maintaining his cover as his jaw hung open and several key parts of his brain fused together. A muffled exclamation in German from Asuka suggested she felt the same way.
TAB"My apologies," Rei continued, with no outward sign of mental gear-clashing. "I should have informed you sooner, but I have been neglecting our correspondence; the last few weeks have been... hectic. It is good to finally meet you in person."
TAB"Likewise," Shinji replied weakly. Asuka just stared.
TAB"I will explain everything once we are in private," Rei promised. "Good luck with the synch test, Shinji."
TAB"Uh... thanks." Shinji said vaguely. Suddenly, and for the first time in his life, he was actually looking forward to climbing into the Entry Plug. Maybe things would be a bit less complicated in there.
TAB"All comfortable in there, Ikari?"
TAB"As much as I ever will be. Freud would have had a field day with this user interface, do you know that?"
TAB"I am painfully aware of it," Ritsuko replied. "Okay, readings look good so far. Lowering plug to test depth. Core psychograph stable. Pilot psychograph... stable." She exchanged worried looks with Maya. "Synchro-start in three, two, one... mark. Synchronisation achieved! Holding steady at... Wait, that can't be right. Sixty-eight percent? That's only five or six points behind Asuka!"
TAB"Wow. Hear that, Shinji? You're a natural!" Misato called out. "Are you sure you've never done this before?"
TABIn the entry plug, Shinji fought down the urge to break out in hysterical laughter. "Maybe in a past life," he replied. Making very sure he'd released the transmit key, he added, "I wonder what she'd have done if I said yes?"
TABListening on the secondary pickup mic that Shinji really should have expected the entry plug to have, Ritsuko sighed. "Called it," she muttered.
I don't usually go in for trigger warnings, but the early parts of this story are going to be very light on the WAFF and very heavy on themes of suicide and mental illness. If you have any past history with either of those, this might be hard to read. (For damn sure it was hard to write at times.) Also... If you've been following Advice and Trust, you know what an "Israfael Special" is. It will be happening in this fic.
So, without further ado, let us begin.
TABThree months before the Third Angel reached Tokyo-3, Shinji Ikari surprised his uncle one morning by requesting permission to sign up for martial arts classes. Tomoe Ikari thought it over, gave his consent -on the condition that his nephew did not allow his newfound interest in physical fitness to affect his schoolwork- and made inquiries at a respectable local dojo.
TABSome hours later that same day, Asuka Langley-Soryu walked into an Internet cafe in Berlin, accessed an anonymous remailer service and sent a long and detailed message to Kaji Ryouji telling him several things he wasn't previously aware of. The message contained a time and a place to discuss these revelations further.
TABLater that evening, Rei Ayanami walked into Commander Ikari's office and slapped him hard enough to knock his glasses off.
TABEvents had ceased to proceed according to the Scenario.
* * *
TABShinji watched the train pull away, leaving him alone on a deserted station platform with his cello case and a bulky duffel bag that contained nearly all of his worldly possessions. "Well," he said aloud, "here I go again."
TABHe swung the cello case over his shoulder and lifted the bag in one hand, pleased at how little effort it took. Three months of judo classes and some rather intensive fitness training to go with it had paid off.
TABHe glanced at the LCD display of his SDAT player. Thirty minutes early, good; Captain Katsuragi would probably appreciate that. Now hopefully the payphones would be working...
TABA deafening wail echoed across Tokyo-3. "Damn," Shinji muttered. So much for that plan.
TABA man in railway company uniform ran out through a door marked 'Employees Only'. "Hey, kid! We need to report to the disaster shelters, quickly! This isn't a drill!"
TABAnd don't I know it. "I was supposed to meet someone here. Can I let them know where I am?"
TAB"You can telephone from the shelter. Come on, we have to hurry!"
TAB"Call for you on Line One, ma'am. It's the Commander's son."
TAB"This soon? Okay, I'll take it here. Captain Katsuragi. You're a little early, Shinji."
TAB"I thought I'd better err on the side of punctuality, Captain. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I'm in Shelter... 322B."
TAB"Alright. Sit tight, kid, we'll have someone come pick you up once we've dealt with the current crisis. I gotta go." She hung up. "Status of the Angel?"
TAB"It just made landfall. JASDF reports multiple missile impacts, no effect on target."
TAB"Understood. Ritsuko, how're we doing?"
TAB"Pre-launch checks will be complete any moment now. Synch rate at 55% and holding. We're about as ready as we'll ever be, Misato." Dr Akagi brushed a strand of blonde hair out of her eyes. "I still don't like this."
TAB"Me neither, but we haven't got time to prep Unit-01. Speaking of... Rei? You might be interested to know that the new kid just got here. He's in a shelter near the station."
TAB"Understood, Captain. Thank you for letting me know."
TABInside the entry plug, Rei smiled to herself. "And all proceeds according to the Scenario."
TABIn a quiet corner of Shelter 322B, Shinji glanced at his watch and began to get seriously worried. They were running out of time, damn it! If Misato didn't get here soon then there was no way in hell they'd reach the cage before-
TABThe whole shelter vibrated, and a few moments later a dull boom could be heard echoing across the city. "What the hell was that?" someone yelled, startled.
TAB"The military must've hit the Angel with something big," a man in NERV uniform replied. "Either an N2 mine or a fuel-air explosive."
TAB"Never works in the movies," a third voice muttered.
TABThere was another, longer vibration. "And that," the NERV employee continued with a proud grin, "is the secret anti-kaiju weapon that will work!"
TABThere was a general stampede towards the door to see what was happening. Shinji stared open-mouthed up at the familiar orange-and-white form of Unit-00 as it made its way towards the Angel. It turned to look down at the shelter entrance as everyone erupted in wild cheers, and he could have sworn that single eye was looking right at him.
TAB"Rei...?" he whispered.
TABThe Evangelion inclined its head slightly, as if in acknowledgement, and turned towards its target. The Angel turned towards Unit-00 and unleashed an impossibly crucifix-shaped blast of pink light, but the Eva was already dodging behind a building and drawing its Progressive Knife.
TAB"Rei, there's a weapon locker a hundred metres to the north of your position," said Misato.
TAB"Thank you for the thought, Captain, but that will not be necessary." The comms window wasn't particularly high-resolution, but Misato could still make out an unholy gleam in the blue-haired girl's eyes. "I would prefer to solve this problem in a more... hands-on fashion."
TAB"Rei, I really don't think that's a good idea!"
TAB"Excuse me, Captain, I have an Angel to kill." The picture disappeared.
TABMisato just sighed. "This is not going to end... Holy shit."
TAB"I'm not wild about her methods," Ritsuko agreed, "but I can't argue with her results. I wonder if they even have reproductive organs there?"
TAB"If they do, I'm actually feeling a little sorry for the Angel. And either way, it definitely has kneecaps. Well, one kneecap and thousands of tiny floating bones where the other one used to be, anyway... Oh for fucksake. Rei, that was someone's apartment you just redecorated with the Angel's face! If we get sued for that it's coming out of your pay! And what the hell are you-?" The whole Geofront shook. "Okay, now you're just showing off."
TAB"I didn't know she was into professional wrestling," Maya added.
TAB"Actually, I think she got that one from Final Fantasy. Rei, will you please put the Angel out of its misery now? Toying with it like this is really unprofessional and kind of creepy."
TAB"Understood, Captain. My apologies. I may have been... excessively zealous in following Ritsuko-san's advice to take my feelings towards Commander Ikari out on the enemy." There was a horrible squelching noise, clearly audible even over the comms. "Angel neutralised."
TABMisato sighed. "I'm signing her up for anger-management classes."
TABMeanwhile, outside Shelter 322B, Shinji watched as Unit-00 wiped the blade of its Progressive Knife clean on the Angel's hide. "Well," he said to himself, "that... happened."
* * *
TABApproximately three months earlier...
TABIf this is Instrumentality, it's really not all it's cracked up to be.
TABShinji stared up at the ceiling. It was as far from unfamiliar as a ceiling could possibly be, which would have been vaguely reassuring if it hadn't been the ceiling he had last seen shortly before getting That Letter and starting down the slow but inexorable path to... Well, whatever the hell had happened.
TABHe was back in Uncle Tomoe's spare bedroom (he could never think of it as his own room) in one of the few intact suburbs of Tokyo-1. A very reluctant glance at the display of his SDAT player suggested that it was about three months before the Third Angel was due to arrive.
TABShinji sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. He didn't see any point in wondering whether or not this was real; considering he'd been at least partly responsible for shattering the very fabric of reality and/or turning the entire human race -less himself, a two hundred-foot naked copy of his sister(?) and Asuka- into LCL to experience some rather nebulous transhumanist paradise, skepticism about mere mental time travel seemed rather silly.
TAB"So, what now?" he said aloud, staring at nothing.
TABCould he just ignore the letter and hope his alleged father decided to recruit someone else? Or he could simply disappear. He had a little money, enough for a room in a cheap motel for a few nights; he could lie about his age, pick up some work waiting tables or something and-
TABYeah... no. Fuck that. Running had got him precisely nowhere the last time around. This time, he could...
TABWell, what exactly? Pickpocket Misato for her sidearm and blow Gendo's head off? Hmmm... Tempting, but probably impractical. Lay his cards on the table, tell his father everything and hope he decided to make a few last-minute adjustments to the Scenario? Rather a vain hope if he couldn't prove anything. Try to beat the man at his own game, subtly working behind the scenes to undo the Scenario one small gesture at a time? Yeah, right. No amount of foreknowledge was going to let him out-Gendo Gendo.
TABShinji drew a sharp breath as the feeling of helplessness began to weigh down on him. What the hell was he meant to do differently when so much had been outside his control?
TABThis must have been how Asuka felt towards the end, he reflected gloomily. Helpless, no longer in control of her own destiny, totally alone...
TABBecause I was too afraid of rejection to reach out to her. Or to Rei. But I'm not scared anymore.
TABShinji laughed at himself a little. Okay, that wasn't entirely accurate. But there was something perversely liberating about the certain knowledge that he had nothing left to lose. After all, how could he possibly fuck everything up worse than total human extinction?
TABI can't do anything about SEELE, or my father, or Third Impact. But I can try and be a better friend.
* * *
TABAsuka awoke with a jolt, grabbing for the knife under her... pillow? That was weird. Pillows had not been a feature of her life recently, what with... Oh. Oh, yeah.
TABMemories came back to her in a flood. Running into Shinji at the beach. The shouting match, the brief and inconclusive scuffle while she tried to drive her knife into his heart, and the long and surprisingly civilised conversation that had followed. The moment they'd walked into the sea together... After that there was nothing but a jumble of blurred images and the faint impression of a familiar voice saying, "Good luck."
TABAnd now she was... back in Berlin. This was her old room. Judging from the concert ticket pinned to the noticeboard it was ten weeks before she was due to set off for Japan.
TABAsuka couldn't have articulated exactly what she'd been expecting to happen after she'd finally gone under, but this was definitely not it.
TABA desperate, slightly hysterical giggle bubbled out before she could stop it. "It's a do-over," she breathed. "It's a motherfucking do-over!" She fairly bounced out of bed and snatched up her dressing gown. "I'm gonna do it right this time," she muttered, throwing open the curtains. "I'm gonna have the best damn synch score ever now. Well... I can live with tied for first place with Shinji, I guess." She filled her electric kettle from the small wash-basin in one corner of her room. "Heh. I think I'll work on synchronising a little better with him too, after I beat the crap out of his asshole dad... Maybe I can defuse Commander Creepybeard's precious blue-haired tykebomb too? Well, she is kinda the baka's sister, wouldn't hurt to try being nice to her either way. In fact, screw it. If my life's going to turn into the biggest fanfiction cliche ever I'm just gonna roll with it and be the ultimate Mary-Sue, because I have earned some verdammt wish fulfilment in my life... And I really need to raise my blood sugar and blood caffeine levels because that sounded crazy even to myself."
* * *
TABRei awoke suddenly, feeling... strange. Everything seemed brighter and sharper, a mental sensation not unlike what she imagined it was like to see through a pair of glasses for the first time.
TABGlasses... She turned to the nightstand. There should be a pair of glasses there. The Commander's...
TABAnd then Rei remembered everything.
TABHer scream brought four Section 2 agents crashing through the door, guns drawn. "Miss Ayanami! Are you alright?"
TAB"I... I'm fine," she replied shakily. "A nightmare. I am not hurt, just shaken."
TAB"We can summon Doctor Akagi-"
TAB"No!" she half-shouted, then took several deep breaths. "Forgive me. There is no need; I will speak to her before the synchronisation test today. Please, excuse me: I would like to get dressed."
TAB"We'll be right outside," promised the senior agent, an older man who gave her a look of fatherly concern. Wordlessly, they withdrew.
TABRei lay back in bed and waited for her heart to stop pounding. This made no sense. She had fulfilled her purpose. She had joined with Lilith, and then in a belated moment of independent thought had chosen what she thought was the lesser of two evils... far, far too late to actually help.
TABAnd then it was all something of a blur, but she definitely remembered seeing Kaworu. He'd said... something, she wasn't sure what, but it had felt reassuring. And now she was back in her apartment in Tokyo-3, as if Instrumentality had never happened.
TABRealisation dawned, and Rei leapt out of bed. She grabbed her school laptop and waited impatiently while it booted up, then stared at the time-and-date display at the bottom corner of the login screen.
TABFor the first time in her life, Rei Ayanami resorted to a real swear-word. "Oh, shit." She clamped both hands over her mouth to stop herself from bursting out laughing-
TABAnd then she felt a sudden stab of fear at the sheer intensity of the emotion, which was like nothing she'd ever felt before. She glanced over at the untidy stack of pill bottles on the nightstand. They will keep you from becoming distracted, Commander Ikari's voice said in her memory. Apparently whoever was responsible for sending her back in time had decided she might benefit from getting a little distracted, because this was ten times worse -or better?- than when she finally said 'no' to Gendo Ikari for once after skipping her meds for a week.
TABThis was going to be a problem. If the Commander even suspected she was considering rebellion then she'd be replaced, and who knew what he'd do to her memory before uploading it to a new clone. And if Dr Akagi realised she wasn't taking her prescribed medicine-
TABThen she remembered the... altercation in Terminal Dogma. Dr Akagi, Rei realised, might just be an important ally given the right encouragement.
* * *
TABKaworu Nagisa awoke slowly and peacefully, and smiled. "Oh, good," he said to himself, stifling a yawn. "I really wasn't certain that was going to work."
* * *
TABRyouji Kaji got out of his car and looked around. "Alright," he said conversationally. "You were smart enough to use an anonymous remailer, so that's a point in your favour, but the stroke of midnight in a parking garage? Really?"
TAB"What can I say? I'm a born show-off." Asuyka stepped out from behind a pillar. "We need to talk, Kaji."
TAB"What the-?"
TAB"I'm gonna come straight to the point, okay? I know what Misato's dad was really doing in Antarctica and I know what Gendo Ikari's really planning to do in Tokyo-3. I know all this because it [already happened, but we apparently shattered the very fabric of reality so badly that God threw up His hands and restored from an old back-up, but for whatever reason I remember everything."
TABKaji just stared at her.
TAB"You think this is some harebrained roleplay thing? Fucksake, Kaji, I walked into your cabin on the boat carrying Unit-02 to Japan wearing nothing but a smile and you still turned me down. You're not over Misato yet, I get it. She's not over you yet either if that makes you feel better."
TABKaji sat down heavily on the hood of his car. "This is crazy."
TABAsuka laughed, bitterly. "I know it is. But that doesn't mean it's not really happening. I guess I'd better start at the beginning..."
* * *
TAB"I got a report from Section 2 this morning, Rei. Are you alright?"
TAB"I believe so, Doctor Akagi. It was simply a nightmare."
TAB"Hmmm." Ritsuko gave her a curious look. "Do you remember what it was about?"
TAB"Not in detail. But I do recall something else." Rei hesitated. "It brought to mind something I overheard your mother saying. I hesitate to ask this, Doctor, but could you carry out a comparative DNA test on myself?"
TABRitsuko blinked. "Whatever for?"
TAB"I want to know who my biological mother was. I suspect it may not have been Yui Ikari, as the Commander believes."
TAB"O... kay." Ritsuko rummaged in the cabinet above her desk. "I'll need to take a swab. Does the Commander know about this?"
TAB"No. I would prefer it if this remained confidential until you can obtain the result."
TAB"Very well."
TABAfter Rei had left, Ritsuko placed the sample in an envelope and filled out the necessary paperwork for the test, then sat for a long moment staring at nothing. Whose eggs would Mom even be able to switch out for Yui's? she wondered. And more importantly, why? A practical joke seemed like a bit of a stretch, even accounting for Naoko's... idiosyncratic sense of humour. Some blackmail and/or revenge scheme over a real or imagined slight by Gendo, Yui or the third party the egg actually belonged to? Well, maybe, but the consequences if Gendo found out the only thing left of his beloved wife was-
TABOh.
TABOh, fuck.
TABRitsuko scribbled the word "URGENT" on the envelope. She needed these results ten minutes ago.
TABThree hours later, there was a knock at the door. "Sempai?"
TAB"Come in, Maya."
TAB"Sempai, the medical lab asked me to bring these results. They wouldn't tell me what the matter was but I could tell it's bad. What's going on?"
TAB"I'll tell you in a moment." Ritsuko accepted the sealed envelope, and opened it with shaking hands.
TABThe slip of paper fell from her nerveless fingers as Ritsuko fell to her knees. "Sempai! Sempai, what's wrong?"
TAB"I have a sister," Ritsuko almost whispered. "I have a sister, and I'm helping Gendo turn her into... Oh, God." She burst into tears.
TAB"I don't understand."
TAB"Look!" Ritsuko grabbed the printout and thrust it towards the younger girl. "Read the results. They still had Mom's DNA profile in the records. She must've had an egg left over from the MAGI, and... Oh, fucking hell. She was sleeping with him. She must have been. Why else would she do this? She was trying to baby trap Gendo. Who was cheating on me. With my own mother!" she screamed. "I am going to murder him! Mother of God, I've dated some really lousy men over the years but this is a goddam record. I give up. I really do. You wanna be my torrid lesbian rebound fling?"
TAB"Yes!" Maya squeaked, before she could stop herself, then clapped both hands over her mouth in horror.
TABThis had the effect of shocking Ritsuko out of her steadily increasing hysteria. "Uh... We never had that conversation, okay? And on a totally unrelated note, meet me after your shift finishes and we'll go for a completely platonic drink somewhere, because I could really use some company." She stood up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go and have a talk with Rei."
TABMaya stared after her boss and formerly-secret crush as she disappeared down the corridor. "What the hell just happened?"
* * *
TABFinding a church that was unlocked outside of services was pretty hard these days, but Asuka knew of at least one. It was an old turn of the 20th century building, dilapidated in a homey sort of way, tucked into a back-street not far from the park where her mother had taken her to run around. One of her few clear memories of Mama before the Accident was of ducking in here to get out of a sudden rain shower.
TABI'm sure God won't mind, as long as you behave yourself, she'd said fondly, taking Asuka's sodden pullover to hang over a radiator to dry off. And Asuka had sat next to her mother and chattered about everyday things until the sun came out again.
TABAnd then three weeks later her mother had come out of the prototype Entry Plug all empty-eyed and broken and wrong, and Asuka had thought that this must mean God did mind after all. She hadn't set foot in a church since... until today.
TABThe place was empty, as she'd expected it to be on a beautiful spring afternoon in mid-week. She sat on one of the pews near the front and stared up at the plain wooden cross affixed to the back wall.
TAB"So," she said slowly. "Our father, who art in heaven, yada yada yada. I know, we haven't spoken in a long time; I kinda stopped believing in you for a while, truth be told. I mean, no God was better than a God that let that happen to Mama. I was pretty mad at you for that at the time, but now that I'm in possession of all the facts... Well, actually I'm still mad at you. Second Impact, the Angels, whatever the hell happened to the planet after Wondergirl decided to hand Shinji phenomenal cosmic power the same day he finally got around to having that psychotic break he'd been procrastinating about since the clusterfuck with Toji and the Angel of Gundamjacking: I'm pretty sure at least half of that was your fault. Jeez, I appreciate a hands-off management style as much as anyone, but there's limits..."
TABShe sighed. "But apparently you hit the reset button, so I have a shot at making things less of a cataclysmic shitshow this time around. Low bar to clear, I know, but hey. So... Thanks for that, I guess. We have a long way to go before we rebuild our relationship still, but it's a big step in the right direction. Just... If I have some great divinely-mandated destiny and you're not just doing this out of morbid curiosity, please give me the occasional nudge in the direction of not fucking it all up? Surely you owe me that much. Oh, and please don't get all judgemental if I trade in some purity points to make Shinji less emo, that kid needs all the help he can get." She blew out a long breath. "Amen, I guess."
TAB"Feel better?" Kaji asked her, when she left the church about half an hour later.
TAB"A little, actually."
TAB"Good. Though you'll be glad to know some more mundane protective measures have been arranged. The custom work you wanted is gonna take a couple of weeks though."
TAB"No big deal. I don't know when we're leaving yet."
TAB"Are you sure this is a good idea?"
TAB"The UN trusts me with the keys to a biomechanical mecha that can reliably solo an entire armoured division and you're worried about me carrying a pocket pistol?"
TAB"It's not you I'm worried about."
* * *
TAB"You know about the test results." It wasn't a question.
TAB"Very little goes on within Headquarters that I do not know about, Doctor," Gendo replied.
TAB"Including the fact that my mother pulled the oldest trick in the book to make you commit to someone who isn't legally dead?" Ritsuko said coldly. "Or maybe this was your doing. You already traded Mom in for the new model, why not me too in another five years? If you're planning to wait that long!"
TABGendo had the good grace to at least look a little guilty. "My relationship with your mother lasted approximately four months, and was broken off by mutual agreement after the third violent quarrel in as many weeks. She insisted that we behave as if it never happened. This took place two years before Rei was 'born'." He sighed. "I didn't know about any of this. I don't know why she substituted her own genetic material for Yui's, or why she didn't tell me, but I sincerely doubt it was because she was jealous of you or because she'd fallen in love with me."
TAB"Did she know you and I were seeing one another?"
TAB"Yes. I left it up to her whether to inform you about her prior... liaison, with me. I suppose she felt you were better off not knowing."
TAB"Did you love her?"
TAB"Ritsuko, I have only ever truly loved one woman. Naoko understood that better than anyone. But I did care about her, and I do care about you."
TAB"And about your son?"
TABGendo looked up, startled. Rei was standing in the doorway, her expression uncharacteristically hard. "Forgive me for interrupting, nee-san," she said calmly. "May I speak with the Commander in private?"
TAB"Of course." Ritsuko stood up. "Gendo... I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't act out of malice, but I want the key to my apartment back until I've had time to process all this. Rei, I'll see you after work."
TABGendo stood up. "Rei..." he began.
TABShe didn't look it, but between her Nephillim biology and regular physical training for her role as a pilot, Rei was remarkably strong. Her slap had enough force behind it to send Gendo sprawling, his glasses flying off into a distant corner.
TAB"That," she said coldly, "was for Shinji."
TAB"How do you even know his name?" he demanded, too stunned to be angry.
TAB"Because I have seen the Scenario play out to the end." Rei's eyes began to glow faintly. "And you failed."
* * *
TABNow...
TAB"Welcome to Tokyo-3, Shinji! I'm Captain Katsuragi, senior operations officer for NERV. Your father asked me to bring you to headquarters."
TAB"A pleasure," Shinji replied sincerely. "I take it you had some part in the giant robot beating up the kaiju?"
TAB"Got it in one. Hop in, we'll talk on the way."
TABShinji was mildly pleased with himself for only needing to grab the Jesus-handle twice for the whole ride, and managed an admiring whistle as they descended to the Geofront. "I've heard the stories, but they really don't do it justice," he said.
TAB"You ain't seen nothing yet, kid!"
TABDr Akagi was wearing ordinary clothing under her labcoat this time, and looking noticeably less frazzled. "Right on time, Misato. And this would be our new Pilot candidate, I take it?"
TAB"Indeed. Shinji, meet Dr Ritsuko Akagi, head of Project E and senior repair and maintenance officer for the Evangelion Project. Rits, meet Shinji Ikari, prospective Third Child and pilot of Evangelion Unit-01."
TAB"Ikari..." Ritsuko scowled. "I will warn you now, boy. Your family name will not entitle you to any preferential treatment whatsoever. If your performance is less than exemplary then I can and will overrule the Commander and have you discharged."
TABShinji blinked. Trouble in paradise already? "I neither expect preferential treatment nor desire it, Doctor Akagi," he replied with a calm he didn't really feel. "I wish only to prove myself worthy of my mother's name, and her sacrifice."
TABWell, she certainly hadn't been expecting that. Ritsuko gave Shinji a long, calculating look. "Your mother, not your father?" she said thoughtfully.
TABHe laughed, bitterly. "You've met my father."
TABShe granted him a small smile. "Maybe you'll do after all. Misato, give the rookie the ten-cent tour and then meet me in the test chamber in thirty minutes."
TAB"Alright. C'mon, Shinji."
TAB"She doesn't like the Commander much, does she?"
TAB"Good question," Misato replied, after a moment's thought. "They... Well, they're not on good terms just now, but it's not my place to talk about why."
TAB"Then I'll put it down to my father being my father," Shinji decided. At least for now, he added mentally. Dr Akagi was high up on the list of people he wanted on his side. "By the way, when do I get to meet the pilot who took down the Angel?"
TAB"Rei? She's still getting debriefed at the moment. But that reminds me, there's someone else I need to introduce you to."
TABAsuka ejected the empty magazine, set down her pistol and pressed the button to reel in the targets. Three neat holes had been punched in each, two in the centre of mass and one in the head.
TAB"You know, you're actually getting pretty good," Misato remarked. "Shinji, this is Asuka Langley-Soryu, pilot of Evangelion Unit-02. She's assigned to our Berlin branch, but volunteered to fly out here to carry out some joint training with us. Asuka, this is Shinji Ikari, who'll hopefully be taking Unit-01."
TABShinji managed to sketch a brief, formal bow. "H...hi," he stammered out, hoping like hell that they'd take his astonishment for shyness. The Great Asuka Soryu here, already, and apparently voluntarily training a potential rival for Best Pilot Ever? Events hadn't just gone off the rails, they'd careered down an embankment and ploughed into the Twilight Zone.
TABAsuka smirked. "Awfully skinny for an Eva pilot. So, when do I get to start breaking him in?"
TAB"Soon as we get him fitted for a plugsuit and test his synch rate." Misato's phone went off. "Damn. Sorry, I gotta take this one," she said, glancing at the screen. "I'll let you two get to know each other, 'kay?" She stepped out into the corridor.
TAB"Okay, if Kaji's as good as his word, we've got five minutes before anyone notices the camera feed just glitched out." Asuka took a deep breath. "What I'm about to tell you is probably gonna sound crazy, but..."
TAB"You remember." Shinji sagged onto a nearby bench as everything he'd planned, everything he'd allowed himself to hope for, came down around his ears.
TAB"Yep. Including what you thought I was unconscious for, and yes, you really are fucked up."
TAB"Oh." Shinji glanced at the handgun on the ledge behind her and sighed. Most people would be totally undone by the sudden onset of crushing, irredeemable failure, a small detached part of him reflected; what did it say about him that the only emotional response he could muster this time was exasperation? "I don't suppose 'sorry' really covers that, does it. Oh, fuck it all. Just pass the gun over here, there's no point in leaving Rei to do everything by herself. Tell them I had a dreadful firearm-safety lapse."
TABAsuka stared at him open-mouthed.
TAB"Honestly, I don't even know why I'm surprised," he continued. "I mean, why would I be reliving this if not because God didn't think I'd suffered enough going through it the first time? So of course I've failed before I've even begun when it comes to being a better friend this time around, that was the one thing I could do by way of damage control for the utterly mental shit we're going to be put through over the next nine months before the world ends. Well, screw that. I'm going to do us both a huge favour and leave early to avoid the rush." He stood up abruptly and crossed the distance between them in two quick strides. "I know I've no right to ask anything of you," he said sadly, "but I'd be grateful if you'd try and reach out to Rei." He reached for the gun.
TAB"Shinji no!" Asuka grabbed his wrist and forcibly interposed herself between him and the pistol. "Jesus Christ, baka, will you listen to me for a minute? I did not spend sixteen hours crammed into an economy-class seat just so I could blow you away, let alone guilt-trip you into doing it yourself! C'mon, I know I can be a vindictive bitch but at least credit me with being smart enough to pick a better time and place than this!"
TAB"I thought this was more of a spur-of-the-moment thing," he replied.
TAB"Trying to stab you when we ran into each other by Misato's memorial was spur of the moment. I've had three months to plan this meet-up. Besides," she said with a sour little smile, "you masturbating over my comatose body was far from the worst thing to happen to me that week. At least it proved you were too dumb to know when you're being hit on instead of just gay."
TABShinji blinked a couple of times. "What," he said at last.
TABAsuka raised her eyes heavenwards. "Listen up, Third Child. This is what we're gonna do. You're gonna get your Synch Rate tested, and then you and Wondergirl are gonna get a crash course in Eva piloting from the best-trained pilot in the business. And after that, we are gonna work together to stomp on every last Angel until it can be mailed, and in between Angels we're going to figure out what the hell to do about those twisted fucks your dad works for. And if you promise to try not to be a wet blanket who apologises for his very existence, I promise I'll try to use less tsun and more dere this time, because I want to be a better friend too. Now, let's write everything that happened before off as all just a prophetic dream or something; you can even imagine me muttering about it in the shower after the opening credits have finished if that helps."
TAB"Huh?"
TABShe snorted. "Never mind. And Shinji?" Asuka pulled him into a fierce hug. "Don't you ever fucking scare me like that again, okay?"
TABShinji was too shellshocked to do much more than nod mutely. But all the same, he had to admit he felt a little bit better.
TABMaybe things were looking up.
* * *
TABHis good mood lasted about ten minutes. "Is it absolutely necessary to pilot an Evangelion wearing skin-tight neoprene?" Shinji grumbled. He'd always hated plugsuits, but then he'd always hated damn near everything about this job so he'd never bothered to make an issue of it. But now he knew what was coming, he really thought he ought to take a stand.
TABNobody, he reasoned, should have to confront Armageddon in a gimp suit.
TAB"It's not actually neoprene, but yes. It's this or go in buck naked; LCL will ruin any other fabric. And cheer up, it's not like Rei or Asuka can tease you," Misato pointed out. "They have to wear the exact same thing."
TAB"Yeah, except I make 'em look good!" Asuka added.
TAB"And don't you know it," he sighed, refusing to spoil the effect by admiring just how well the suit showed off her curves. Asuka stuck her tongue out at him.
TABAnd then the three of them entered the hangar, and Shinji saw his father standing on the gantry leading to Unit-00's cage. He forced himself to unclench his fists and tried, not very successfully, to keep his expression neutral.
TABNo more running, he told himself. Not this time.
TABAnd then Gendo turned around, and Shinji saw the dark smudges under his father's eyes, and the faded but still noticeable bruise on his cheek. What the...?
TAB"Shinji," he said as neutrally as he could.
TAB"Father," Shinji replied, pleased with himself for keeping his voice even. "It's been a long time."
TAB"Yes. Too long." Gendo looked like he was struggling to think of something to say. "You are ready for the synch-test?"
TAB"As much as I ever will be." Shinji felt a sudden surge of wild courage. "Is there a reason I'm piloting the one that ate Mother?"
TABThis didn't get the reaction he was hoping for. "Yes, there is," Gendo replied calmly. "But this is not the time or the place to discuss it. I must go."
TABAnd before Shinji could open his mouth to say anything further, he was attempting some sort of speed record for the 300 Metre Nonchalant Walk in the direction of the exit.
TAB"Well, that was a touching family reunion," Asuka remarked, breaking the awkward silence.
TAB"Could've been worse. He could've forced me into the Eva to go fight the Angel with absolutely no training whatsoever because the only other pilot got put in hospital in a botched synch-test or something," Shinji replied.
TABMisato gave him a long and very thoughtful look, then shook her head. "Well, anyway. Ritsuko must be around here somewhere, she's probably the person Commander Ikari was avoiding."
TAB"Actually, Captain, I suspect he may have been avoiding me."
TABShinji's head shot upwards at the familiar voice. Perched casually on Unit-00's shoulder, Rei met his gaze and smiled that little Mona Lisa smile that had made him harbour thoughts he was somewhat embarrassed about. Before he could form any terribly advanced conclusions, she stood up and leapt from the Evangelion, landing on the catwalk in a practiced crouch.
TAB"Pilots Ikari and Soryu, I presume?" she said casually, as she stood up. "I am Rei Akagi, Pilot of Evangelion Unit-00, and Ritsuko's half-sister."
TABShinji gave up on maintaining his cover as his jaw hung open and several key parts of his brain fused together. A muffled exclamation in German from Asuka suggested she felt the same way.
TAB"My apologies," Rei continued, with no outward sign of mental gear-clashing. "I should have informed you sooner, but I have been neglecting our correspondence; the last few weeks have been... hectic. It is good to finally meet you in person."
TAB"Likewise," Shinji replied weakly. Asuka just stared.
TAB"I will explain everything once we are in private," Rei promised. "Good luck with the synch test, Shinji."
TAB"Uh... thanks." Shinji said vaguely. Suddenly, and for the first time in his life, he was actually looking forward to climbing into the Entry Plug. Maybe things would be a bit less complicated in there.
TAB"All comfortable in there, Ikari?"
TAB"As much as I ever will be. Freud would have had a field day with this user interface, do you know that?"
TAB"I am painfully aware of it," Ritsuko replied. "Okay, readings look good so far. Lowering plug to test depth. Core psychograph stable. Pilot psychograph... stable." She exchanged worried looks with Maya. "Synchro-start in three, two, one... mark. Synchronisation achieved! Holding steady at... Wait, that can't be right. Sixty-eight percent? That's only five or six points behind Asuka!"
TAB"Wow. Hear that, Shinji? You're a natural!" Misato called out. "Are you sure you've never done this before?"
TABIn the entry plug, Shinji fought down the urge to break out in hysterical laughter. "Maybe in a past life," he replied. Making very sure he'd released the transmit key, he added, "I wonder what she'd have done if I said yes?"
TABListening on the secondary pickup mic that Shinji really should have expected the entry plug to have, Ritsuko sighed. "Called it," she muttered.
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Ridiculously Average Guy
I'm you, but stronger
- Location
-
AH, it's been ages since I read some good Eva crack fic.
notanautomaton
I've got 99 quests, I've finished one
Question: Why do you invisitext TAB rather than just pressing the Tab button or the spacebar?
- Location
- The Midlands.
I don't really know what to say to that.
Because that doesn't work. I've tried.
Ridiculously Average Guy
I'm you, but stronger
- Location
-
- Location
- The Midlands.
It's the indent button on the toolbar.
That only works for whole paragraphs, not just the first line.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Retsof
I will keep you safe.
Can I get a spoiler?Oh gods it's spreading...
- Location
- The Midlands.
Just read Advice and Trust. It'll all make sense then.
Although speaking of spoilers, here's a sneak preview of the next chapter:
"How much did you actually tell my father, anyway?"
"Few details. Only that everything he had worked towards and everything he had put myself and his only son through had been for nothing, and that he would die alone and unmourned, rejected by the only person he had ever truly loved." Asuka's mouth opened and closed a couple of times with no sound coming out. "It was... cathartic," Rei added, looking rather pleased with herself.
For the first time in... Well, now Asuka came to think of it, the first time ever since she'd known him... Shinji almost fell over as he was incapacitated with helpless, uncontrollable laughter. "Oh, I wish I could have seen that!" he gasped. "The look on my father's face must have been amazing."
"It was. I believe the memory of it improved my synch score considerably. Mother and I hate Commander Ikari far, far more than we hate each other, and as a result we have... reached an accommodation."
"O... kay," Asuka muttered to herself. "Nice to know you're as much of a seething cauldron of angst and parent issues as everyone else around here under that emotionless facade, Wondergirl."
Finagle007
[Verified Great Old One]
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
This will end in threesomes over on Questionable Questing, won't it.
GeshronTyler
Kleiner Giftzwerg
Iirc, that was a significant part of the impetus to write this for Jake. Peggy Sue/do over fics have been done before, but there are hardly any EVA fics that really set up all 3 pilots together, or at least good ones.
"Advice and Trust" is focused on Asuka and Shinji, but when they started to interact with Rei more, and deepened their emotional bonds with her, most of us couldn't help start thinking OT3, though Strypgia is quite firm in having Rei's relationship with the two lovebirds remaining platonic.
So, iirc, Jake decided to indulge himself (and us) with this "new game +" , and having all 3 pilots quite unapolegetically involved with each other. Oh, and having Gendo giving up on his scenario, and thus much less aligned with SEELE. If he can be convinced that his goal of bein reunited with Yui is truly impossible, he may be brought around to creating a scenario that offers humanity a real future.
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- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
It really was hard to keep it that way, too. Really, only the fact I have already conceived of and planned out the end of A&T as a AsuShin story is what's keeping it that way. I do consider 1-2-3 as my OT3 for Eva, so I'm interested to see what Jake does here.
And it's entirely possible to write a trio here, even if under 18. There are rules about how much you can show and such, but the mere concept of a three-way relationship is not automatically forbidden. It's mostly aimed at preventing it from becoming a skeezy exercise in porn.
I'm still hoping you do the OT3 after you finish A&T...
GeshronTyler
Kleiner Giftzwerg
So Jake, has Asuka already gone out and gotten her copy of "The Ethical Slut" (a real book in fact) in this version yet? Or will it take a bit more time/character development before Asuka or any of the others decide they want a serious relationship, let alone thinking about who would be involved?
Or will it take a bit more time/character development before Asuka or any of the others decide they want a serious relationship, let alone thinking about who would be involved?
- Location
- Ekaterinburg, Russia
It's a novel and under-appreciated concept, but some of us have a job. Please, spare ten minutes and write it out for us. We might not have time to find the answer otherwise (and I did try and google it and didn't find the answer).
ecs05norway
Zenryoku Zenkai!
Or at least link the story if you're going to point us at it.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
The 'Israfel Special' started as a joke in Advice and Trust, about a er... 'dual-action attack'?:
Or:Strypgia wrote said:
Like so.Strypgia wrote said:
Link's in my sig. It's also on FFnet. Enjoy.
Nice to see this back, and the rewrite does flow a bit better. Though I'm not sure Shinji's attempted suicide works well, he has had a few months to deal with things after all, on top of whatever closure he and Asuka had reached after Instrumentality.
Well, during those months he thought he was the only one who remembered the first run-through. then he finds out Asuka remembers too, including his bit of.... "stress relief" over her comatose body. Embarassment, mortification, and the knowledge that someone else with much better qualifications remembered the first time through and he figured there was no point in himself continuing to consume oxygen.
GeshronTyler
Kleiner Giftzwerg
Things are often not as clear cut as that when it comes to dealing with mental anguish, I believe. He and Asuka didn't so much work out their problems after having "survived" 3rd impact, than deciding on what was pretty much a mutual suicide pact.
"This world is so fucked up, instead of us taking out our traumas on each other, lets just end it for good, since there is no way we're playing Adam and Eve"
Is more or less what I figure went through their minds before they re-entered the "soup" and hit reset, and less "lets forgive each other our sins towards the other, and then end things in piece".
Even if they had agreed to forgive the other, guilt and emotional pain doesn't heal that easily. Shinji probably feels that he bears the "real" guilt, since he did set off 3rd impact in his psychotic break, and took advantage of her when she was comatose, had contirbuted to Misato's death, hadn't been able to help Asuka against the MPEVAs, etc. , seeing her so suddenly could well trigger an episode of self-loathing he's been suppressing. He can't talk to anybody about his prior life experiences after all, so that trauma hasn't really been dealt with.
Chapter 1 Part 2
- Location
- The Midlands.
Shorter update this time, but since it came up, I'm hoping this is going to give a greater insight into Shinji's mental state:
The three of them had been sent off to get lunch, with a proper training exercise scheduled for some time that afternoon, and Rei had casually mentioned a nearby cafe that was "superior to the canteen". This was not a high bar to clear, but it was small and crowded and had a stereo system blasting a local Top 40 station loudly enough that they were probably safe against any surveillence the Commander could arrange on short notice.
"So, then..." Asuka began.
Rei took a sip of tea. "During or shortly after Instrumentality, I relived something of which I had had no conscious memory before. Naoko Akagi, moments before..." She hestitated. "Before becoming very angry at something I said, admonishing me not to speak to my mother in that fashion. When I... returned, I asked Ritsuko to investigate further. It transpired that Naoko had switched Yui Ikari's genetic material with her own. The Commander claims he does not know why, and that this is unrelated to the sexual relationship he shared with Naoko that neither of them saw fit to tell Ritsuko about."
"Well, that certainly explains why she's mad at him," Shinji sighed. "Is Naoko inside Unit-00's Core?"
"Yes, I believe so."
"Figures. How much did you actually tell my father, anyway?"
"Few details. Only that everything he had worked towards and everything he had put myself and his only son through had been for nothing, and that he would die alone and unmourned, rejected by the only person he had ever truly loved." Asuka's mouth opened and closed a couple of times with no sound coming out. "It was... cathartic," Rei added, looking rather pleased with herself.
For the first time in... Well, now Asuka came to think of it, the first time ever since she'd known him... Shinji almost fell over as he was incapacitated with helpless, uncontrollable laughter. "Oh, I wish I could have seen that!" he gasped. "The look on my father's face must have been amazing."
"It was. I believe the memory of it improved my synch score considerably. Mother and I hate Commander Ikari far, far more than we hate each other, and as a result we have... reached an accommodation."
"O... kay," Asuka muttered to herself. "Nice to know you're as much of a seething cauldron of angst and parent issues as everyone else around here under that emotionless facade, Wondergirl. Uh, I'm gonna regret asking this, but did what Shinji was talking about down at the cages actually happen the first time around?"
"Yes. Shinji omitted the fact that Commander Ikari had me brought to Unit-01 on a stretcher and threatened to force me to pilot with multiple broken bones and a head injury if he refused to take my place. He agreed, despite the fact he had never seen an Evangelion before."
"Well, that's not quite true," Shinji added, with a brittle little laugh. "It's just that I'd repressed the memory as thoroughly as possible because I saw my mother die horribly when she tried to synch with it and succeeded a bit too well. Or so everyone thought; if I didn't hallucinate everything between seeing you go down to the Mass-Production Evas and waking up on the beach, she actually did it on purpose so that Unit-01 could become an eternal monument to mankind's existence... or something. I don't know all the details and I'm not sure I want to, especially why she found it necessary to make me watch."
"Oh," Asuka said softly.
"So, yeah," Shinji continued breezily. "That's the woman my father is planning to cause total human extinction to reunite with. No accounting for taste, I suppose."
"Guess not," Asuka muttered. "Now, fascinating as it is to compare childhood traumas, we need a plan of action."
"I thought yours was fine as it was," Shinji replied. "Do better at beating the Angels and try to have a normal life in the meantime."
"I'm aiming a little higher than that, Third. But first, we need to work out how to tell Misato what really happened before she decides we're all crazy."
"I fail to see how what really happened and all three of us being insane are mutually exclusive," said Rei, which set Shinji into another fit of hysterical laughter. "Hysterical" being the operative word, Asuka reflected gloomily; she'd heard saner-sounding laughs from her mother's neighbours.
Mein Gott, she thought to herself. Things have come to a pretty pass when I'm the most stable Pilot on the team.
* * *
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but going by the psychograph figures alone, the most stable Pilot we have right now is Asuka." Ritsuko took a deep drag on her cigarette. "And stop looking at me like that. I'll think about quitting when this time-bomb is somebody else's problem. When was the last time Shinji had a psych-evaluation?"
"About six months ago, sempai. There's a copy in your inbox, but I already skimmed it. He wasn't exactly a happy kid, although given what we know about his upbringing since his mother's death I'd be more worried if he was, but there's nothing in there that'd explain why his mental state deteriorated so far so fast."
"Didn't think there would be." Ritsuko massaged her temples with thumb and forefinger. "Just like we had no warning that Rei would be so much her mother's daughter."
"Yeah..." Maya paused with her sandwich halfway to her mouth. "There was one minor anomaly in Pilot Ikari's file, thinking about it. A note from Section-2 saying that he'd been seen enrolling in judo classes. It's out of character for him according to previous evaluations, but a teenage boy suddenly taking an interest in martial arts isn't especially weird... except for the timing. He signed up on the exact same day Rei asked you to take that DNA test. Odd coincidence, don't you think?"
"Mhmmm," Ritsuko said vaguely.
"... I am sick of relationships based on deception. I wish to be as honest with you as I would wish you to be with myself. Besides, you would suspect something amiss in the end..."
"Maya, are you free this evening after work? There's something we need to talk about, in a place we're safe from being overheard."
Maya almost made a joke about the soundproofing qualities of her apartment, but Ritsuko's expression brought her up short. "Of course, sempai."
* * *
"This is the Steyr AUG automatic rifle. Thirty-round magazine as standard, bullpup configuration -meaning the trigger's in front of the magazine- and a two-stage trigger; squeeze it lightly for single shot, harder for full auto. It handles as close to identically to an Evangelion pallet-rifle as we can manage at this scale." Misato set the rifle down in front of Shinji. "Now, gun safety has three basic rules. Rule Number One: All guns are loaded until proven otherwise. Does this gun look unloaded to you?"
"No magazine, but there might be a round in the chamber," Shinji replied.
"Good answer. Many guns have a mechanism that holds the bolt open after the last round fires so you can see at a glance when it's unloaded, but you shouldn't rely on that. Only way to be sure is to pull back on the charging handle; that's this part here. Alright, now for Rule Two. Never, ever aim that barrel at something you don't intend to shoot at. Keep it pointed down at the ground until and unless you're taking aim at a target."
"Understood," Shinji replied.
"Good. Now, keeping that in mind, pick the gun up and see how it feels. See that little red dot? That means the safety's on, but be careful anyway."
Warily, Shinji did so, finding that it weighed less than he'd expected. Keeping it pointed downwards, he felt for the bolt and pulled it back slightly. His eyes widened as he saw a glint of brass. "It's loaded!"
Misato nodded. "Blank round. Would've scared the hell out of you if you'd been careless. Now, Rule Three it seems you already figured out. Finger away from the trigger until you're ready to pull it. Get into the habit of that, safety or no safety. Alright, put it back down and we'll get you some eye and ear protection."
Ten minutes and about a hundred and fifty rounds later, Misato called a halt. "Not bad for a beginner, but be gentler with that trigger pull; we'll work up to burst fire later."
"It's a little loose," he replied. "Is there a way to adjust the... pull, I think it's called?"
"Sure. Which leads us right on to the next lesson: How to clean and maintain your weapon."
"That sentence would sound really wrong out of context."
Misato snorted. "If you need help cleaning and maintaining that you're on your own."
"... get through this, and you can have the rest. Now go!"
"Hey, you alright?"
Shinji shook himself mentally. "Yes. Just distracted."
The three of them had been sent off to get lunch, with a proper training exercise scheduled for some time that afternoon, and Rei had casually mentioned a nearby cafe that was "superior to the canteen". This was not a high bar to clear, but it was small and crowded and had a stereo system blasting a local Top 40 station loudly enough that they were probably safe against any surveillence the Commander could arrange on short notice.
"So, then..." Asuka began.
Rei took a sip of tea. "During or shortly after Instrumentality, I relived something of which I had had no conscious memory before. Naoko Akagi, moments before..." She hestitated. "Before becoming very angry at something I said, admonishing me not to speak to my mother in that fashion. When I... returned, I asked Ritsuko to investigate further. It transpired that Naoko had switched Yui Ikari's genetic material with her own. The Commander claims he does not know why, and that this is unrelated to the sexual relationship he shared with Naoko that neither of them saw fit to tell Ritsuko about."
"Well, that certainly explains why she's mad at him," Shinji sighed. "Is Naoko inside Unit-00's Core?"
"Yes, I believe so."
"Figures. How much did you actually tell my father, anyway?"
"Few details. Only that everything he had worked towards and everything he had put myself and his only son through had been for nothing, and that he would die alone and unmourned, rejected by the only person he had ever truly loved." Asuka's mouth opened and closed a couple of times with no sound coming out. "It was... cathartic," Rei added, looking rather pleased with herself.
For the first time in... Well, now Asuka came to think of it, the first time ever since she'd known him... Shinji almost fell over as he was incapacitated with helpless, uncontrollable laughter. "Oh, I wish I could have seen that!" he gasped. "The look on my father's face must have been amazing."
"It was. I believe the memory of it improved my synch score considerably. Mother and I hate Commander Ikari far, far more than we hate each other, and as a result we have... reached an accommodation."
"O... kay," Asuka muttered to herself. "Nice to know you're as much of a seething cauldron of angst and parent issues as everyone else around here under that emotionless facade, Wondergirl. Uh, I'm gonna regret asking this, but did what Shinji was talking about down at the cages actually happen the first time around?"
"Yes. Shinji omitted the fact that Commander Ikari had me brought to Unit-01 on a stretcher and threatened to force me to pilot with multiple broken bones and a head injury if he refused to take my place. He agreed, despite the fact he had never seen an Evangelion before."
"Well, that's not quite true," Shinji added, with a brittle little laugh. "It's just that I'd repressed the memory as thoroughly as possible because I saw my mother die horribly when she tried to synch with it and succeeded a bit too well. Or so everyone thought; if I didn't hallucinate everything between seeing you go down to the Mass-Production Evas and waking up on the beach, she actually did it on purpose so that Unit-01 could become an eternal monument to mankind's existence... or something. I don't know all the details and I'm not sure I want to, especially why she found it necessary to make me watch."
"Oh," Asuka said softly.
"So, yeah," Shinji continued breezily. "That's the woman my father is planning to cause total human extinction to reunite with. No accounting for taste, I suppose."
"Guess not," Asuka muttered. "Now, fascinating as it is to compare childhood traumas, we need a plan of action."
"I thought yours was fine as it was," Shinji replied. "Do better at beating the Angels and try to have a normal life in the meantime."
"I'm aiming a little higher than that, Third. But first, we need to work out how to tell Misato what really happened before she decides we're all crazy."
"I fail to see how what really happened and all three of us being insane are mutually exclusive," said Rei, which set Shinji into another fit of hysterical laughter. "Hysterical" being the operative word, Asuka reflected gloomily; she'd heard saner-sounding laughs from her mother's neighbours.
Mein Gott, she thought to herself. Things have come to a pretty pass when I'm the most stable Pilot on the team.
* * *
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but going by the psychograph figures alone, the most stable Pilot we have right now is Asuka." Ritsuko took a deep drag on her cigarette. "And stop looking at me like that. I'll think about quitting when this time-bomb is somebody else's problem. When was the last time Shinji had a psych-evaluation?"
"About six months ago, sempai. There's a copy in your inbox, but I already skimmed it. He wasn't exactly a happy kid, although given what we know about his upbringing since his mother's death I'd be more worried if he was, but there's nothing in there that'd explain why his mental state deteriorated so far so fast."
"Didn't think there would be." Ritsuko massaged her temples with thumb and forefinger. "Just like we had no warning that Rei would be so much her mother's daughter."
"Yeah..." Maya paused with her sandwich halfway to her mouth. "There was one minor anomaly in Pilot Ikari's file, thinking about it. A note from Section-2 saying that he'd been seen enrolling in judo classes. It's out of character for him according to previous evaluations, but a teenage boy suddenly taking an interest in martial arts isn't especially weird... except for the timing. He signed up on the exact same day Rei asked you to take that DNA test. Odd coincidence, don't you think?"
"Mhmmm," Ritsuko said vaguely.
"... I am sick of relationships based on deception. I wish to be as honest with you as I would wish you to be with myself. Besides, you would suspect something amiss in the end..."
"Maya, are you free this evening after work? There's something we need to talk about, in a place we're safe from being overheard."
Maya almost made a joke about the soundproofing qualities of her apartment, but Ritsuko's expression brought her up short. "Of course, sempai."
* * *
"This is the Steyr AUG automatic rifle. Thirty-round magazine as standard, bullpup configuration -meaning the trigger's in front of the magazine- and a two-stage trigger; squeeze it lightly for single shot, harder for full auto. It handles as close to identically to an Evangelion pallet-rifle as we can manage at this scale." Misato set the rifle down in front of Shinji. "Now, gun safety has three basic rules. Rule Number One: All guns are loaded until proven otherwise. Does this gun look unloaded to you?"
"No magazine, but there might be a round in the chamber," Shinji replied.
"Good answer. Many guns have a mechanism that holds the bolt open after the last round fires so you can see at a glance when it's unloaded, but you shouldn't rely on that. Only way to be sure is to pull back on the charging handle; that's this part here. Alright, now for Rule Two. Never, ever aim that barrel at something you don't intend to shoot at. Keep it pointed down at the ground until and unless you're taking aim at a target."
"Understood," Shinji replied.
"Good. Now, keeping that in mind, pick the gun up and see how it feels. See that little red dot? That means the safety's on, but be careful anyway."
Warily, Shinji did so, finding that it weighed less than he'd expected. Keeping it pointed downwards, he felt for the bolt and pulled it back slightly. His eyes widened as he saw a glint of brass. "It's loaded!"
Misato nodded. "Blank round. Would've scared the hell out of you if you'd been careless. Now, Rule Three it seems you already figured out. Finger away from the trigger until you're ready to pull it. Get into the habit of that, safety or no safety. Alright, put it back down and we'll get you some eye and ear protection."
Ten minutes and about a hundred and fifty rounds later, Misato called a halt. "Not bad for a beginner, but be gentler with that trigger pull; we'll work up to burst fire later."
"It's a little loose," he replied. "Is there a way to adjust the... pull, I think it's called?"
"Sure. Which leads us right on to the next lesson: How to clean and maintain your weapon."
"That sentence would sound really wrong out of context."
Misato snorted. "If you need help cleaning and maintaining that you're on your own."
"... get through this, and you can have the rest. Now go!"
"Hey, you alright?"
Shinji shook himself mentally. "Yes. Just distracted."