A/N: Sometime ago I took a dive into reading fan-fic written by the Honkai Impact community and while it was the usual mix of good, bad, and ugly just the same as any other list of fan-fics, I came across one that perked my interest titled
Second Chance on AO3. It involved a self-insert actually struck inside the head of one of the characters, a idea I haven't really seen much when it comes down self-insert stories and thought I'd give it a read. I found the story was not one for me, but my brain was like 'Hey, we could use this idea. Imagine all the character
torture development we could do!'. And thus, this story was written.
Another idea my brain spewed out was adding some original elements, ideas of my own creation, into the story to make it different from other, similar stories. These elements won't play too major of a factor in the overall story, just something to add for plot convenience at certain points and to make sure the self-insert isn't instantly vaporized by a certain genocidal, maniacal tuna named Sirin.
Anyways, I'll be writing this while I try to work up motivation for my other story
Gate: Frontline. If you have any feedback, questions, or comments, please do share. I'm always seeking to improve my writing and I do it best by discussing and bouncing ideas off of others.
At Aeir/Number III's suggestion, be warned of spoilers. While this is to be expected, the first chapter contains a major plot and character point.
Chapter 1: AHHHHHHHH
Kiana awoke with a head-splitting pain drilling into her skull. She lay in bed, waiting for the pain to lessen and it faded away ever so slowly. However, her head still ached alongside the feeling of someone in her mind. Like someone attempted to drill into her skull, but ended up getting stuck somewhere. She tried to fall back asleep, tossing and turning for what seems like hours on end, but those two feelings gnawed at her.
The frustration built up to the point where she kicked her sheets off and sat upright in bed. Kiana glanced at the clock ticking away above her bed. The hands were on five-thirty AM. Who was up at this ungodly time anyway? Maybe Fu Hua jogging out on the track field, the crazy girl.
Wait a second, this isn't my room.
Kiana blinked when she felt a sense of confusion wash over her. She looked around the dorm her team lived in. Mei slumbered in her corner, underneath a normal blanket and surrounded by various memorabilia from her past, all of which was organized in an easy to reach way. Bronya, meanwhile, slept with one of the bunny-eared, yellow themed, HOMU toys. Her video game items all meticulously sorted into groups of what franchise they belonged to. Kiana herself had cat-themed items strewn about her corner of the dorm.
Yep, this was her dorm. So why was she doubting herself?
Why can't I move any of my limbs? And why does my skin look pale?
Kiana brought a hand up to eye-level. Nope, she could move her limbs and her skin had always been rather pale.
None of this makes sense! Send halp, please!
Ugh. Why was she thinking these thoughts? Were they caused by that apparition haunting her dreams and forcing her to hurt her dear Mei in said dreams?
Why can't I say anything?!
Alright, these thoughts weren't going away anytime soon.
Kiana jumped out of bed with Grogginess still weighing on her. Bones creaked in protest at having to move at this time. Muscles stiffened to lock in place in order to return to bed. Kiana pushed through it, however, and waddled to the bathroom, the thoughts increasing in panic all the while.
She pushed open the door and stepped into the small bathroom. It was compact, big enough only for a single person, but even then it felt cramped. Something about saving space, or at least that's what Auntie Theresa told her. Yeah, right, probably bungled the budget somewhere.
Kiana turned on the faucet and splashed cold water onto her face. The sudden chill jolted her awake, driving off the grogginess and hopefully those thoughts. She stared at her reflection, bloodshot eyes staring back.
Wait. Pale skin, silvery hair, blue eyes, dorky braids, a strand of hair just sticking out in defiance of gravity?
The thoughts became silent. A moment past. Another moment. Kiana let out a sigh. It was finally gone.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Kiana gripped her head as the scream pierced through her head.
WhythefuckamIseeingKianaKaslana?Thishastobesomehorridfeverdream!Helphalphlp.
"Fuck!" Kiana shouted as the thoughts-no, a voice- ramped up in intensity and speed.
Audhubillahminalshaytanalrajeemwhatishappening?
"Kiana, are you alright?" Mei's gentle voice came through the door.
"Nuuu." Was all Kiana could muster.
"Maybe idiotka Kiana shouldn't have eaten all of the rice at dinner." Bronya's monotone voice mocked.
"
Bronya!" Mei chided."Um, Kiana, are you decent?"
"Yus…"
WhydoIhearMeiandBronya?Thishastobeafeverdreambroughtonbycorona.OhdeargodamIdying?
Kiana groaned. Why was this voice speaking so fast? It was causing her headache to explode in pain.
"O-oh my," Mei held up a hand as she entered the bathroom. The black-haired woman towered over Kiana who had by now huddled into a ball as the agony ascended beyond all description. Sweat had begun to drench her skin and shivers racked her body.
"Uuuu." Was Kiana's response to the voice's pained cry.
"Kiana's temperature is steadily rising." Bronya floated to the entrance of the bathroom. The petite Russian girl looked at Kiana with concerned silver eyes.
"Hold on," Mei heaved Kiana up to her feet and then placed a hand over her forehead."You're warm, but not feverishly so. Maybe you really did eat too much."
"Bronya still recommends getting a member of the medical staff."
"Right, I'll get Kiana to the infirmary."
"Carry me please?" Kiana groaned.
"That bad, huh? Alright, up you go." Mei hooked one arm around Kiana's waist and the other around her legs before lifting her up into a bridal-style carry.
Kiana managed a small smile. There was at least one upside in this whole ordeal and that was being carried by her favorite person, Mei! Few things could beat her. Or her cooking. Or her music. Or her tutoring abilities. Or just Mei in general.
She caught Bronya's envious glare as she was carried out of the bathroom and out into the halls. Bronya nonetheless followed the two out, all the while maintaining her glare.
The halls were devoid of any students or staff. Only footsteps and Kiana's mewling broke the silence that filled the corridors. For Mei and Bronya, the silence was comforting. They had long come to appreciate silence, especially after the sounds of battle assaulted their ears.
But for Kiana, there was no silence, only constant screaming and words spoken so quickly they became gibberish to her. She still was able to make out the voice of it through all of the chaos. It held a panicked, masculine tone instead of the mocking, feminine voice that haunted her dreams. Even then, this voice was far more damaging because the constant screaming and gibberish drove what felt like a nail into her skull.
Slowly, steadily, however, the screaming began to subside. The voice spoke slower and slower allowing Kiana to hear what was being said.
Alright, calm down. Think. What is happening right now and what can I do about it?
Kiana wanted to ask that question as well. Why was there a voice screaming inside her head? But while the screaming seemed to have finished, the pain had only begun to fade leaving her aching all throughout her body.
Yet the voice that called out to them made Kiana wish for the pain to come back.
"What are you three doing out?" A mature and stoic voice called out.
A grey-haired, serious-faced woman faced the three when they turned around.
Fuck! It's the bird!
Kiana had no idea why the voice sounded even more panicked now or why it called Fu Hua a bird.
"Fu Hua, we found Kiana curled up and shivering so we thought it best to take her to the medical wing. She's not running a fever, just in awful pain." Mei answered.
"Pain? Kiana, can you describe it?" Fu Hua said as she dug out her phone and began walking alongside the group to the sickbay. Her fingers tapped on the letters presented on the screen.
"Like someone screaming inside my head."
"Screaming… inside your head?" Fu Hua held a finger to her chin."Mei, Bronya, return to your dorm. I'll escort Kiana."
"A-alright," Mei sounded uncertain.
"Do not worry. As a Hall Monitor I won't be stopped by other Hall Monitors and I know a quick way to get there. You two head back and get ready for the day. While classes won't start for the next few hours, it doesn't hurt to study and prepare early."
"Fair point."
Kiana let out a groan brought on by both lingering pain and the fact that Fu Hua was the one that was going to take her instead of her friends. She didn't have anything against the girl, but Fu was more likely to force her to walk than carry her. Or maybe Fu Hua would tell a story like the one time when she got a stomach cramp?
"It sounds like Kiana still isn't well enough to walk. Uh, Fu Hua, could you carry her?"
"Put her on my back." Fu Hua stopped walking and assumed a piggyback posture.
It took a few seconds of transferring and adjusting Kiana so she could be carried, but once everything was finished, Fu Hua walked as though she was carrying the weight of tuna on her back rather than the weight of a teenage girl.
"Hope you feel well soon!" Mei waved.
"Bronya wishes that Kiana gets well soon as well." Despite the wording, there was a certain smugness in Bronya's tone.
Once Kiana and Fu Hua rounded a corner, Fu Hua spoke.
"Could you describe this voice?" Fu Hua was silent for a second before quickly adding,"For the medical record."
"Like a man panicking."
"A man?"
Kiana quirked an eyebrow. Was it her or did Fu Hua sound relieved at her answer? Fu Hua moved to another question before Kiana could think further on it.
"Where is the pain most intense?"
"My head. Like inside it. When it first started, it felt like it was about to explode. Now it just feels like something is running around in it."
"That is worrying."
"Am I dying?"
"Does it feel like it?"
"No?"
"Then, for now, no. While what you've described is worrying, I suspect it might all be caused by the mind."
"What? Are you saying I've gone insane?"
"No. It might be stress induced by the Valkyrie ranking exam."
"And the four-hundred pages worth of homework you dumped on me." Kiana muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing!" Kiana exclaimed, her pain momentarily drowned by the crashing wave of sheer panic.
"I thought so. Anyways, we won't know anything for certain until a doctor takes a look at you."
Four-hundred pages of homework would cause a lot of stress though. But can it cause hallucinations? I mean, a lot of stress over a period of time can wear the body out, but I don't remember suffering that amount of stress. Soooo, crossing that off the "How the Fuck did I end up like this"
list.
… Even the voice agreed that much homework was stressful.
"Is there anything else? Nightmares, hallucinations, voices other than the masuline one?"
"Well, I do have nightmares... "
Oh shit, that reminds me. If this is all real, I'm going to have to contend with her at some point.
Kiana wasn't sure what was happening anymore. The voice kept speaking and she was starting to believe it wasn't some stress-induced imaginary voice. Fu Hua was asking ever increasingly specific questions she was certain weren't medically related. And now the voice mentioned this 'her'.
"Thank you, Kiana. This'll help the medical staff in their diagnosis."
Yeah, sure, Fu Hua, maybe they can explain why I'm inside Kiana.
Kiana felt something. Like stress being released through a chuckle.
"We're here," Fu Hua stated as they stopped by a set of double doors. Not even a second after they stopped, the doors opened and a nurse stepped out. She held a tablet, constantly tapping away at it.
"Fu-san, room 1-7 is available for Kaslana-san."
"Do you think you can walk, Kiana?" Fu Hua asked.
"I think so." Kiana clambered off of Fu Hua and pressed her feet down into the floor. She took a few testing steps, unsure if the pain would explode once more. However, while pain still chipped away at her skull, it was nowhere near the bone-shattering agony it had been. Kiana let out a breath at that."Yea, I'm ok. Still feeling pain, but nothing I can't handle."
"We'll still do some tests, just in case." The nurse tabbed a couple times as Fu Hua leaned in and whispered into her ear. She gave a small nod before opening the door for Kiana, allowing her to walk in.
Kiana's nose scrunched up at the harsh odor of disinfectant as she entered the lobby. A few nurses went about spraying and scrubbing the tables, chairs, and even walls. Kiana blinked in confusion.
"Some students were diagnosed with a Honkai-related disease. It hasn't shown to be communicable yet, but better safe than sorry. And don't worry, it has only affected those with underlying conditions so you should be safe."The nurse said before she guided Kiana towards a door.
A woman at the desk glanced at them and the nurse gave a nod before the woman returned to her work."And don't worry, everything will be taken care of. The room is just right up ahead." The nurse said as she guided Kiana into a sterile-white hall.
Kiana winced at the even stronger, sharper odor of disinfectant as it invaded her nostrils. Chatter, typing, and crying came in from all around her, all mixing together in a chaotic fusion of sound. The nurse rushed Kiana through the hallway, pass six rooms before they stopped at 1-7 and the pair entered the room.
"Please seat down." The nurse gestured at the examination table tucked in the corner of the room. Kiana nodded and leapt onto the edge of the table.
From there, the nurse went through the normal doctor visit routine. The nurse took Kiana's vitals, wrote or typed things down, and asked mostly typical medical questions. Several questions, however, were strange. Questions like 'Have you had any sudden bouts of aggression as of late' or 'Not recognising your loved ones in the last several weeks'. Kiana asked why those questions were being asked. The nurse responded by saying those were related to her current condition, saying stress can cause such things. But they just felt off, like they were asking for something else. In fact, can stress even cause those things?
Kiana instinctively reached for her phone when the nurse finally left the room and pawed at an empty pocket. She sighed. Great, now that question was going to pester her until she found the answers.
If only I had answers too, Kiana, then I wouldn't be so utterly stressed that I don't have a body anymore.
"Oh great, the voice can see my thoughts apparently. What have I done to deserve this?"
And what I have done, oh Allah, that you have deemed fit to do this to me?
Allah? Wasn't that the thing Muslims proclaimed when they blew up? Why was a voice in her head even mentioning that?
ListenhereyoulittleshitthoseidiotsareclingingtopastgloriesinsteadofacceptingthefactIslamisnolongerthedominant-
Kiana gripped her head when the voice started speaking faster than she could process yet again. It went on and on, its speed seemingly intensifying and becoming more passionate as the seconds ticked by. Kiana half-thought there was an actual person stuck inside her head given just how emotional the voice was getting. Of course, it was nonsense. How can a person get stuck inside her head? That stuff could only be found in an anime or manga.
What has she done to deserve this?
SayingallMuslimsblowup-
Whhhhhy?!
The creak of a door opening brought Kiana out of her pain. She glanced to see a woman wearing a white coat and holding a stack of papers walk in. A look of concern was on the woman's face when she saw Kiana gripping her head.
"On a scale of one to ten, how bad is the pain you're feeling?" The doctor spoke in a calm, reassuring tone.
"Elven." Kiana groaned out.
The doctor clicked her tongue. "Normally I would not do this, but I have some painkillers with me. You can have some if you like."
"Yea."
The doctor dug into a breast pocket and pulled out a container labeled some name Kiana couldn't pronounce. She opened the cap, brought out two rather small pills, and offered them to Kiana. The pills themselves were half the size of a nail which was odd. The pills Kiana took were way bigger than that and she normally had to water them down with a drink of some kind. Kiana hesisted. Shouldn't she go get something to drink with it then?
"They can just be swallowed, no eating or drinking required." The doctor smiled when she noticed Kiana's hesitation.
Kiana gave a shrug in response. If the doc said it was alright, then she supposed it was alright. She nabbed the pills and tossed them into her mouth. She blinked when they went down. They didn't get stuck in her throat nor felt uncomfortable. Huh.
Wonder how they're made to do that?
Shut up already!
How about no?
"Anyways, I am Teruya, I will be your doctor for today Kaslana-san. I was told you were experiencing a lot of pain. Is there anything else?" The now named Teruya said before Kiana could scream at the voice.
"Well, there's this voice and it just won't shut up."
"I have been informed of the voice. You described it as masculine?"
"Yep."
"Not female, got it." Teruya muttered under her breath and wrote something down on the paper she had brought in with her.
Kiana raised an eyebrow. Ok, that was weird. Maybe it was some medical-related thing like if it sounded like a man then it meant the voice was annoying and aggressive like no small number of men.
Hey!
Kiana ignored the voice and focused on the questions Teruya had begun asking.
"Has this voice formed clear sentences that you could hear? And no, I don't believe you're going 'insane," Teruya rolled her eyes at that word,"sometimes we hear things because of various reasons like certain medicines."
"Well, I do take medicine for my insomnia," Kiana suppressed a yawn as she tried to speak. But it felt like her muscles were starting to slack and the yawn escaped."Er, sorry."
Wait, you have insomnia?
Kiana continued ignoring the voice in favor of listening to Teruya.
"Oh, no need. And keep that in mind, I'll ask about your insomnia, but back to the question at hand."
"I'm not quite sure how to describe it? Sometimes I can hear it and other times it goes so fast I can't hear it. That's when the pain starts too."
"Hm." Was all Teruya said before speaking again."Well, what has it said to you? Does it sound doubtful or warnful about something?"
"It mentioned something about an Allah? Isn't that-" Kiana stopped herself before she could let it slip. She didn't want to suffer the Voice's wrath again. Teruya, however, raised an eyebrow and Kiana hurriedly added,"Whenever I say a certain thing about, er, blowing up, that's when the voice speaks so fast I can't keep up."
Teruya blinked several times." W-well that is interesting. Would you identify with the Islamic faith?"
"The what now faith?" Kiana rubbed the back of her neck. Her father mention it a few times when she still lived with him back in Scandinavia prior to his disappearance, but other than scattered news reports of 'radical elements of Islam' and debates, she didn't know much about it.
"It's one of the Abrahamic religions and it's followers are Muslims."
"Ooh." Now she had her answer! Those were the guys who blew themselves-
Listenhereyoulittleshit-
"Gah! Not again!" Kiana gripped her head. She felt Teruya lay a hand on her shoulder in a reassuring manner as the Voice once again ramped up in speed and intensity.
"It'll pass."
Kiana nodded and allowed the Voice to burn itself out. After a few seconds, it calmed down, its tone returning to normal with an awkward silence filling the moments after. She loosened in relief.
"Feeling better?"
"Yes."
"Good. Now, rounding back to your insomnia, have you experienced painful episodes like this when it first began?"
"Uh, no. I couldn't sleep because I keep having nightmares." Kiana rubbed her eyes to ward off the sudden tiredness weighing down her eyelids.
"What are your nightmares about?"
"About a purple-haired girl... saying no one loves me or... forces me to hurt my friends," Kiana's thoughts became more and more muddled.
Fuck! Were we drugged or is Sirin trolling?
"Sir-in?" Kiana yawned out the name. It sounded so... familiar. It was on the tip of her tongue... Sirin was… wasn't she the second Herrscher?
And with that final thought, Kiana crumbled onto the examination table. As she fell into a deep slumber, the Voice screamed in rage and confusion at what was happening, but any pain produced by Its rant was crushed into oblivion by the sedatives Teruya gave Kiana.
----------
Fu Hua sat on a chair inside Teruya's office. She took slow, steady breaths with her eyes closed and emptied her mind. Tried to, at least. The revelation that a voice was speaking to Kiana shaken her to the core. Combined with the state Kiana was supposedly in, the fear of Sirin possessing the teenage girl flooded into Fu Hua's mind. And no amount of meditating held it back.
There was no end of questions swarming her mind as well. Kiana described the voice as masculine. Was Sirin changing tactics, becoming more nunached in her approach? Or was this simply just a voice caused by stress? Another question dared ask if an entirely different entity had spoken to Kiana. That question was disregarded because of its impossibility. The strain of having multiple entities inside her would have crippled or killed Kiana.
The Hall Monitor huffed and opened her eyes. She glanced at the cat lazing about on Teruya's desk without a care in the world. How she wished to simply not care about watching over Kiana and return to protecting Shenzhou.
But that was not possible. She needed Schicksal's resources even if she depised its Overseer. Otto Apocalypse did cause the creation of the Second Herrsacher and claimed credit for her death when in reality various gem-like objects were extracted from the corpse for experiments. 'Kiana' among these experiments. To create an artificial Herrsacher that could be controlled or so Otto told Fu Hua. She protested it, but Otto disregarded her warnings and with little other choice, Fu Hua followed his orders despite her misgivings.
Fu Hua closed her eyes and tried emptying her mind once more. She focused on her slow, steady heartbeat. Her breathing became a reflection of her heart, becoming slow and steady. With each tick, her thoughts chaotically meshing together became more organized and replaced by calm stillness. A smile crept onto Fu Hua's face as she allowed herself to enjoy this moment of calm.
The door being rammed open and closed shattered that calm.
Fu Hua opened her eyes to see Teruya hastily walking to her desk and ripping open one of the drawers. The cat gave a meow of protest as Teruya nudged the feline to the side so she could slam down a stack of papers. Likely medical profiles of patients, but Fu Hua still questioned why. Teruya was simply to report on the condition of Kiana to assist in determining if Sirin was trying to seize control. What happened to cause Teruya to become like this?
"Teruya," Fu Hua said. The doctor's name did not stop her from flipping through the papers though she did glance over at Fu Hua.
"It's not Sirin," Teruya's expression scrunched up at the Herrsacher's name.
"And how is it not?"
"K-423 believed the voice spoke the name of Allah."
"And this is enough?" Fu Hua tilted her head. It was certainly odd, but not beyond the realm of possibility for Sirin to use the god of the Islamic faith as a mask of some kind.
"Kiana's comments also suggest this voice became offended when certain comments were made. And Sirin is too arrogant for something like that."
"I understand your view, but please calm down and look at it from a neutral perspective."
Teruya stopped flipping through the papers and gave Fu Hua a baleful glare. Fu Hua only gave a stoic stare in response as the two engaged in a clash of wills. After a few seconds, however, Teruya released an explosive sigh.
"I was there when Sirin became the Second Herrscher. She killed my wife and mocked my faith, claiming it to be nothing more than an excuse to commit atrocities. There is no way in Hell Sirin would even consider using Islam, or any reilgion for that matter, to manipulate someone."
"I would disagree, but that is besides the point, Were there any other discoveries you've made?"
"That 423 is having nightmares about a purple-haired, green-eyed girl forcing her to kill her loved ones. Take a guess who that might be?"
"So Sirin was already active in manipulation attempts prior to this."
"Apparently for a while now, according to her record. The physician assigned to her didn't seem all that concerned about it so he prescribed a generic pill-and here it is!" Teruya plucked out a folder with the name Raiden Mei labeled on it."I'm cross-referencing their profiles to see if both Herrsachers are trying to manipulate their hosts. If both take around the same time, we are fucked."
"Measures have been taken to ensure that doesn't happen."
"Yea, like the sedatives I gave K-423. She's currently unconscious by the way, had a rather 'painful' episode and that was why I had to give her said sedatives. We'll be keeping her here to monitor her, run some tests, make sure she doesn't end the world as we know it."
"Is that all?"
"Yes." Teruya said as she reached over and scratched behind the ear of her cat, becoming visibly more relaxed while she looked over the Herrsachers' files.
"I'll inform the Overseer of the situation then and what has been discovered." Fu Hua got up from the chair and brought out her phone, quickly dialing a number. It rang a few times before a polite, German-sounding voice answered.
"Hello Miss Fu."
"We have a situation."
"Tell me."
"K-423 has experienced an episode. We suspect Ex Bo. 52, but there is a possibility something else is causing it. A report detailing everything will be compiled shortly."
"Something else?"
"Teruya believes another entity has begun to speak with Kiana."
"Hm. And K-423's condition?"
"Currently incapacitated to inhibit 52's, or that something else's, activities."
"Monitor 423. I'll send Rita to observe the situation as well and if need be, contain it. Was there anything else?"
"Nothing else."
"Good. Have a lovely night."
"It's morning here Sir."
"Oh, then have a good morning."
"And a good night to you, Mister Apocalypse."
With that, Fu Hua ended the call.
----------
When Kiana would awake in an infirmary bed later that morning, a familiar voice spoke.
Wake up, Kiana, wake up and smell the ashes!
Oh Goddamnit.
