Dungeon Keeper Ami [Sailor Moon / Dungeon Keeper]

So, that took a lot longer than it should have. I'm still not entirely happy with how I handled this, but I decided to post it before I could change my mind again.



I have no idea how some authors manage to do this. I suspect that even if I did, I wouldn't be able to imitate it.

When I write, it goes like this: "Okay, this idea for a scene should take me about 30 minutes, an hour tops," and then it takes a week. Or more.

I managed to do that myself once, where I wrote almost 30,000 words in a weekend. What happened was as I typed each sentence from one person to another, I already knew who was going to reply and what they said before I even finished it. When they did something, I knew it before they did so. I was always playing catch up in my writing to what they were doing in my head.

It felt more like I was transcribing what was happening without any need to think, then thinking about what to write. I am sure with people that can write that much have it the same all the time. They don't need to think about what their cast is going to say or do, they already know it before they get there. They just writing down what they already know is happening.
 
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?" Duchess Ducimezar asked, quick as always to make her displeasure known.

"I am quite sane, I assure you," the Avatar replied cheerfully, looking unperturbed.
Dwarfs: You were troll in body once. While that affliction is cured now, we fear you still remain a troll in mind. This doesn't ease our fears.
"There you go then," the Avatar continued. "I gave you a tool to put pressure on her where you had none before."
"I remind you of tool you had all this time, and Empress was quite willing to use before this whole Salthalls incident.... Diplomacy... Talking..."
King Ral snorted. The day he started to believe that the Dark Empress had an elaborate city conquest plan just lying around with no intention to use it was the day he'd abdicate due to senility.
Avatar: May I remind you of Crying Death's underwater temple? Empress was willing to sit on her weapons, while sister is more... impulsive and dramatic.
second reason is that is actually improves his safety."
it
Snyder, wearing something similar, appeared less comfortable without his acolyte robes. No, never mind, that seemed to be Venna's fault.
Odds of Snyder or Vienna avoiding each other... low?
Chance of one or both being thrown out... high?
With Snyder wrongly accused?
"I certainly wasn't expecting the dwarfs' first demand to be a gala to publicly announce your new position as Regent of my empire," she told the Duke.
*angry looking Usagi standing above crystal ball, eyes green of jealousy, watching gala*
Usagi: I won't in! Why is all fun avoiding me! Was meant to be main character, ended side one who's rarely seen!
"Technically speaking, all of you are my mercenaries and not citizens or soldiers of my empire. As such, he has no direct authority over you."
Hmm Though when will this change? Her having actual, official army and citizens?
"You want to trust lawyers with this?" the Duke asked, sounding bemused. "I suppose that's feasible, with sufficient supervision. I can contact a few reliable ones when I go prepare the gala."
Torian: I can suggest few demon summoners for sale of balance. Negotiation with rulers or demons, adding own and removing opposing loopholes... Its all the same.
"Additional security?" the Duke asked. "I hardly see a reason for that. Who in their right mind would want to get into a fight with the Empress after recent events?"
*written on grave of assassin #854399955*
Bah, those dumb idiots making mistakes of amateurs. Let real professional show you how it's done.
The absence of the fairy ambassador in anything but pristine condition would raise concerns about the safety of future diplomats, for example.
There is no reason to worry. Ambassadors to Dark empress gain free immortality (short of violence) and power up treatment. Your safety and good opinion is important to us.
toothy smile wavered a little. "Though there is something a little odd going on with one of them."
That mention on smile... Totally no reason to worry...

Is it really something terrible and he is worried for own life (if only for getting bad news to Keeper)?

Or more of a joke, faery is happy with result, but every one is worr.. worried...

... It's the faery who trained... Trask?... Ami's first tentacle monster? Now she is sane and happy tentacled youma (ranging from humanoid with dozen tentacles replacing wings, to weirder body), while everyone else is horrified and worried?
 
it's been so long that I can't recall what specifically odd was happening with the Fairies. I remember one is directly in Ami's service though?

We have no direct account about all the fairies, but probably they have been youmifyed to variuos degrees and the red one was transformed into a red dragon (Dungeon Keeper dragons are green). ONe of the sisters kept her sanity to a degree and decided to lookup for her sisters in order to avoid them drinking from the dark mana fountains provided by Ami for the population, fearing that as was happening with the dwarfs they too would get a minion link!
 
Asking Amy to do something she doesn't want to do sounds like something that will end in 'Wish technically granted'. Avatar and the Light have shown themselves smarter than that.
Not really. Amy deals in good faith. Even if she really does not want to do something, she will do it if she is paying back a favor like this.
Agreed. As long as the favor being requested is asked in good faith and is something she considers commensurate with the favor done (or even slightly greater, but not by too much), Ami will deal in good faith. She doesn't do "technically, I did" with people who are dealing in good faith with her. That changes, though, when people are trying to screw her over.

Force her into a situation where you set the rules to her detriment, and she'll bend the rules so hard they'll have a career in the circus. Try to twist the agreement she made in good faith, and she'll respond in kind and probably with greater skill at twisting the letter of things.

But deal with her in good faith, and she'll do the same with you. And the Avatar and the Light are some of very few people who know this. Further, the Light also deals in good faith. The Avatar does, too, though he's more capable of at least considering bad faith deals if he has to. But he wouldn't, not with Mercury, not at this point. Both realpolitick AND the respect he has for her - grudging as it may be - would make him feel like a villain if he dealt in bad faith with her. And he isn't a villain, and wouldn't want to feel like one.
Hmm Though when will this change? Her having actual, official army and citizens?
Soon, likely. I anticipate a time when one of the "concessions" she's "demanded" to give will be a release of hostages. Which she'll happily do for anybody she CAN. Heck, with the folks with eye problems, that's on a time limit, and she can just negotiate for a "scheduled release." The Duke can even possiby convince the other nations that the Empress really can't heal them faster. Sure, they'll think it was a deliberate move on her part: take an action that not even she can undo quickly in order to deny them the ability to compell her to undo it. But it still will be convincing.

THen they could "demand" she "allow" Light healers to come in and try to find a cure. Which she'd "allow" in return for other concessions, of course.

Finally, when they're healed? I expect she'll ask a lot of the hostages taken by the Crowned Death if they wish to stay or leave, and no small plurality of them will want to stay. Consider the standard of living in her Empire.
 
That mention on smile... Totally no reason to worry...

Is it really something terrible and he is worried for own life (if only for getting bad news to Keeper)?

Or more of a joke, faery is happy with result, but every one is worr.. worried...
More like Torian downplaying things to make himself look successful in Mercury's eyes. "We can totally capture all the fairies without any issue (except we can't because there are issues with that)."
 
OK, making absolutely sure that the Dwarves can never contact Mercury's mother is now a high priority - they are getting too smart.
Not an issue. They believe the Dark Empress's family to be made up of demonic creatures every bit as evil as she is. They're right, of course...but they also think she's much more evil than she is, so they think her family is.

They'd sooner deal directly with Dark Empress Mercury than with the Imperial Mother.
One small correction:

You used "therefore" twice in quick succession. I'd recommend changing one of them, like to "thus," "thusly," or "as such."
"Thus" would be my suggestion, or just removing it entirely. "It would be wasteful not to have you sit in on these lessons" flows well without the "because"ifying word.
 
And such ends the battle for Salthalls as we now switch back to a cold war. I do like the fact that by coming from the Avatar it makes it seem like they are doing something to Mercury rather then she making them do something. The Dwarfs never need to know that she was that one to call in a favor with the Avatar to get this to happen.

"I am quite sane, I assure you," the Avatar replied cheerfully, looking unperturbed.

Can I just state that I think the Avatar is loving this about as much as we are? He's one of the ones that can see behind the curtain, he knows Ami isn't evil and he probably has a good idea of what really happened at Salthalls. He's in the perfect situation to sit back and enjoy the humor of the situation.

Also, Yay for Fairy Sisters again! They remain my favorite characters and I look forward to seeing what horrible things happen to them next.

I really like the idea of a feast for everyone to get together to do Diplomacy, the fairies, the dwarfs, possibly the Avatar, and one can hope Princess Julia and Midori will come as well. It would be such a mess.
 
it's been so long that I can't recall what specifically odd was happening with the Fairies.
One transcended her existence as a fairy and became a dragon she was always meant to be.
Always be yourself. Unless you can be a dragon, then always be a dragon.

OK, making absolutely sure that the Dwarves can never contact Mercury's mother is now a high priority - they are getting too smart.
For all they know, Mercury's mother can be multiversal conqueror that is by all means worse than Mercury. Well, they don't know Mercury is from another world, but should they find out this is exactly what they imagine. Contacting her may make everything even worse.
 
Also, Yay for Fairy Sisters again! They remain my favorite characters and I look forward to seeing what horrible things happen to them next.

Still holding out hope for a Cerasse becoming a tentacle monster.

really like the idea of a feast for everyone to get together to do Diplomacy, the fairies, the dwarfs, possibly the Avatar, and one can hope Princess Julia and Midori will come as well. It would be such a mess.
I kind of like the idea of hilarity ensueing myself. Landra is mistaken for a huge goblin- which goes over surprisingly well and gets her adopted by the goblin clan. Cerasse and Tserk decide to make their relationship public. Torian tells a much embellished tale of the assault on Crowned Death's temple- with himself in a starring role.

And through it all, Venna playing footsie with Snyder.

...hmm...

Maybe also have the dwarves see the underworlders in a different light after they demonstrate that they are at least attempting to learn and follow their customs.

Might be an interesting angle to play...
 
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I have no idea how some authors manage to do this. I suspect that even if I did, I wouldn't be able to imitate it.

When I write, it goes like this: "Okay, this idea for a scene should take me about 30 minutes, an hour tops," and then it takes a week. Or more.
I suspect that such people are writing from a very strict outline, knowing how the story is intended to play out and referencing existing important scenes they've written makes most of that 20k words a formality
 
I wonder how it will hit the dwarfs when they realize that Ami is underage, namely a child and just single handy defeated one of their cities.

The terms Children and city defeating threats don't often go hand in hand. Children and keepers even more so.

The only way a child can be a keeper as far as they would know, is if her parents are basically keepers themselves and they gave it to her, or she is some plan by the Dark gods themselves, that sent her to be born of woman and bring about a new dark age in the realm.

This would then cast Ami's battle with the Reaper in Azzathra's temple in a new light. She hadn't been thrown in there because she displeased them. She was thrown into that battle by Azzathra to prove she was worthy of her birthright. Look at her metal reapers she started to use afterwards. Clearly that was her boom for her victory.
 
Imps positioned strategically around the room with the sole task of watching the diners prevented corruption-induced alterations in an unobserved moment.
Hmm whenever Mercury sets gala or something in future...

Random guests: Cursed Empress. We can't do or say anything without her knowing. Be it assassination, be it plotting and rumour sharing. And that horrible, thin excuse... that imps must watch everything or our clothes and surrounding will change. Like anyone will fall for tha... What happened to my clothes!?
 
"Underage; no liege; no vassals; no suitable family members," the Avatar listed calmly, raising one finger with each point. "I most certainly can appoint an appropriate guardian in situation like those, rare as they may be."
I feel like that part didn't get the attention it deserves. Ami being underage should have been met with a huge amount of disbelief, or at least a huge "wait, WHAT?".

Even we assume the Dwarven council collectively overheard that, everyone (it's public information now) will infer it from "legal guardian", and there will be a wide variety of reactions.
 
I feel like that part didn't get the attention it deserves. Ami being underage should have been met with a huge amount of disbelief, or at least a huge "wait, WHAT?".
Actually... Beside author forgetting to emphasize... could it be dwarfs not seeing it as important?

Hasn't Mercury seen a knife for woodcarving in kids park when she conquered city?

Then there is tutors and unholy experiments by Mother to speed up growth.

Bit different standards for adulthoos in this fantasy, medieval age and Ami's modern era?
 
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