I woke up from another dream where I had gotten to spend time with Kirby. We had gone to a festival with a bunch of Waddle Dees, as well as a few Kirbys of other colors. There were lots of activities to participate in. I joined a race across waves on a
Warp Star, and managed to come in second place! I didn't participate in most of the other games, but I got to watch Kirby put several Waddle Dees to shame in a speed eating contest, finishing in a quarter of the time it took the second place contestant to finish. Which was honestly impressive for the runner up, since Waddle Dees don't have mouths. There was even a contest for who could hit meteors back into space the hardest; I have no idea how that worked, but it was quite the spectacle. I spent several hours talking about the competitions and other small things with Kirby; as usual I understood them perfectly despite them saying nothing but 'Poyo'. I had a blast, and I wished I could spend time with them while I was awake.
As I slowly regained consciousness, I noticed I wasn't in my room at home. It felt like I was wrapped up in a blanket on someone's couch. But before I could attempt to investigate my surroundings further, a tired voice interrupted me.
"Good morning sleepyhead."
I turned towards the voice and saw what looked like a girl with blonde hair, to the extent that I could see without my glasses.
"You wear glasses? Hmm. I don't have a way to get yours for you, but I'll at least move closer so you can see me better."
The girl got up from the armchair she was in, shuffled over, and knelt in front of the couch. She had bottle green eyes, lots of freckles, and looked like she was dead on her feet. Knees. Whatever.
"Yeah, I fell asleep doing research last night, and was woken up early when one of my teammates noticed you'd Changed back into a human form.
"On that note: I'm Lisa, Tattletale in costume. My power allows me to make deductions from extremely little data, which is now I've been able to tell what you're thinking. Bitch is the only one who's seen your face, as she was the one who saw that you'd Changed; she put a domino mask on you before anyone else could see your face. We decided to take you back to our abode with us after you fell asleep."
That explained some things. Kirby must have run into them last night. Had they finally managed to find friends? I hoped so. I wasn't sure why they hadn't told me when we were talking at the festival though.
I tried to remember if I'd heard about Tattletale or Bitch, and what team they were on. They weren't New Wave or Wards, and their names didn't sound heroic anyway. And as far as I knew, Parian was the only rogue in Brockton Bay, which meant that Tattletale and Bitch were villains. I didn't recognize the names well, so they must not have been from a minor villain team I hadn't researched well.
Kirby had befriended villains? That wasn't great, but it wasn't really my choice either. I trusted Kirby's judgment that they were at least safe to be around, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to be friends with villains myself.
"I guess you met Kirby then," I said after a pause. "I only have the vaguest sense of their memories though, so I don't actually know how they met you, why they fell asleep, or anything else that happened when they went out last night." I should probably have been panicking more, but I was too overwhelmed by new information.
"Oh, you're plural?" Lisa asked, hesitating briefly before continuing. "Anyway, here's a quick rundown of what happened last night—at least everything that I know. We heard that Lung was going to attack us, and decided to attack him head-on rather than waiting. By the time we reached Lung though, Kirby had already knocked him and his minions out. We thanked Kirby for helping us—saving us, really—and introduced ourselves. Bitch and Kirby seemed to like each other immediately, and she offered Kirby a hug. And as soon as they were in her arms, they were out like a light."
That was… a lot to digest. Kirby beat up Lung last night? And it definitely sounded like they had made a friend, if they felt safe enough to fall asleep that quickly. What had Lisa called her though?
"What do you mean I'm 'plural'?" I asked.
Lisa's mouth formed a small 'o' briefly, before she replied. "Okay, that's going to need a longer answer. Is there anything I can get you first? One of my teammates should hopefully be here with breakfast within an hour or two. Do you want coffee? Tea. I don't think we have much variety, but I'll see what we've got."
Lisa sent off a quick text while she was getting up, and before I could even open my mouth to ask, she said, "Just texting my teammates to tell them that if they come into the living room, they need to either mask up or out themselves to you."
A few minutes later, Lisa returned with a steaming mug. "All we had was English breakfast tea, but I at least knew how sweet you like it," she said with a smirk.
I took the tea with a quiet thanks, and took a small sip. At the same time, I noticed Lisa taking a much larger gulp of coffee from one of what looked like three mugs on the coffee table behind her. "Yup," Lisa chuckled. "I'm really tired, but I didn't want you to wake up alone with no one to tell you where you were or what had happened. Those mugs were all triple-strength too."
After taking another gulp from her mug, Lisa continued. "So, plurality or multiplicity is when there are two or more people in one brain. The group of all those beings in a single brain is called a system or collective, and members of that group are often called alters or headmates."
She gave me a moment to absorb the information before continuing. "I'll give you a rundown of some other terminology later, but the gist of it is, I think you and Kirby are a plural system."
"How common is plurality?" I asked.
"At least 1% of all people are plural due to trauma, though trauma is not a requirement of being plural. I've never personally heard of a system forming from trigger trauma, though it would surprise me if you were the first to form that way. Plurality is a lot more common than people think; plural folks just don't talk about it often because they are frequently treated as 'crazy' by society.
"To be clear though, you're not crazy," she said firmly, looking me in the eye until I nodded in agreement.
"... I guess I can't skip out on terminology for too long," she continued. "One of the core concepts of plurality is fronting. The alter who is in control of the body is said to be 'in front', or to be 'fronting'. If multiple headmates share some level of control at the same time, they are either 'co-conscious', if they still retain their distinct identities, or 'blended' if not. When one headmate takes control from another, that is called 'switching'."
Lisa gave me another moment to digest, which I appreciated. From what she said, it sounded like I switched with Kirby on nights they went out to look for friends, and then switched back at some point during the night when we were both asleep.
"So," Lisa asked, "when you Change into Kirby's form, does that force or trigger a switch? And vice versa? Also, I can guess, but I don't want to take away all your agency by deducing all the answers to my questions; why are you wearing pajamas?"
I looked down at my chest and noticed that indeed, I was wearing pajamas. It made sense, but I had forgotten. "I get ready for bed before Kirby goes out, so that I'll wake up in pajamas after Kirby comes back home and goes to bed," I replied. "As for your other questions… I can Change into Kirby's form without switching, but it's… unpleasant. Wrong. It's not my body, and it doesn't feel like my body, and when I control it, it feels like everything is far away and moving through molasses. And it's hard to motivate myself to move at all in that state, too. Like me being plural, I had assumed it was just a weird power thing. I don't know if Kirby has the same experience Changing to my body or not. I don't know if they usually Change into my body before going to sleep, or if it happens automatically or subconsciously while we're asleep and before I wake up, either."
We both stayed quiet for a bit; I still had a lot to process, and Lisa was looking off into the distance thoughtfully. I wasn't sure if she was trying to guess more things, or figure out what to say to me next, but I was honestly too tired and overwhelmed to care.
A couple minutes later, I heard some clomping on the stairs, and the door to the room opening. I saw Lisa look up behind my head, and I looked up there as well to see a girl quite a bit larger than Lisa, with three dogs around her. I couldn't see her clearly, still lacking my glasses, but somehow I was sure she was a girl despite her thick winter coat, and there was also some vague feeling of happiness I couldn't place or understand the cause of. We were all quiet for at least a minute, before the girl patted my head a couple times, and then walked off down the hall.
I gaped after her receding form, flabbergasted. I turned to Lisa to see her eyes wide from surprise, before she turned back to me and said, "Huh. Didn't see that one coming. She's the one Kirby latched onto last night. Her name is Rachel Lindt, and she goes by Bitch in costume. The PRT calls her Hellhound, but she hates the name, so please don't use it."
That name rang a bell with me. Supposedly Rachel controlled monster dogs, but from what I saw, it seemed more likely to me that she just Changed some honestly rather cute dogs into scarier forms. And she had taken a liking to Kirby. It was… nice… that Kirby seemed to have finally found a friend. A friend that wasn't me, at least… I…
I closed my eyes and turned away from Lisa, trying to hold back my tears. "I just wish my power could be having Kirby with me in real life as a friend, instead of only being able to spend time with them in dreams. And at least they seem to have befriended R-Rachel. Once she finds out I'm not Kirby and am nothing like Kirby, she won't pay attention to me either." I tried not to let hopelessness fill my voice, but I knew it was a failed endeavor. "I've got no one," I finished off pathetically, hoping I'd whispered it quietly enough that Lisa hadn't heard me.
We were both quiet for a long minute, before Lisa gently took my right hand in both of hers, drawing circles on the back of it with one of her thumbs. "Will you be friends with me?" she asked softly, looking into my eyes earnestly.
I stared back at her in shock. Why would anyone want to be friends with me? "Why?" I managed to croak out at her, tears filling my eyes again.
"You seem like you need a friend," she said, with an air of finality that I struggled to question. And before I could figure out what to say, she added, "Trust the Thinker," a smirk and a quick wink gracing her features.
"But you don't even know my name!" I objected, struggling not to shout.
"That's okay," she said, smiling softly. "You can tell me your name if and when you feel comfortable doing so."
After several long minutes of silence, I managed to give her a small "okay," to which she gave my hand a gentle squeeze in return.
Nothing felt real. Suddenly everything felt so far away. I could swear Lisa's face was shrinking into the distance. Was this a dream? Was I so pathetic that I had to dream up friends?
Before I could spiral further, I felt Lisa shaking my shoulder firmly. "Hey, sweetie? Focus. Focus on my voice." I turned my head slightly more towards her, and she continued. "Deep breaths. Take a nice, deep breath in for four seconds… hold it for two seconds… and breathe out for six seconds… Again. Deep breath in for four… hold it for two… and out for six…"
We did that a few more times, until I was mostly calmed down and relaxed. The breathing helped a lot, especially her breathing with me and handling the counting for me, so I could just follow along. "Thanks," I said quietly. She gave my hand another squeeze in reply.
"Those are the times that work for me, but feel free to use any breathing times that fit you better," said Lisa.
"... Anyway, back on the topic of plurality," she continued, "does your family know about Kirby or your amnesia?"
I slowly shook my head, before my eyes widened in horror. "Shit!" I exclaimed. "Dad must be freaking out that I'm missing!"
Before I could panic again, Lisa squeezed my hand and started drawing circles on its back with her thumb again, while softly saying, "Shhh… it'll be okay. I'm a Thinker; we'll figure this out together. I'll help you.
"I know I said I wouldn't ask your name, but I probably
do need it for this. I'm sorry. I promise I won't tell my teammates unless you explicitly tell me to. And my full name is Lisa Wilbourn."
"Taylor," I bit out, almost too quiet to hear. "Taylor Hebert."
"Okay, Taylor, there are a few things you need to decide," she said gently, "but first I'm going to call your dad to let him know you're safe. You can talk to him briefly, but I'll impress upon him how important it is to explain in person. And I'll give us a good chunk of extra time to figure out how much we're going to tell him, and what to do about clothes for you. I can drive, so we won't need to worry about buses."
Lisa picked up her phone again, gave me a brief, discerning look, and then tapped a number in, a vulpine grin on her face. "Thinker powers," she said smugly, before putting the phone to her ear and a finger to her lips to stop my forthcoming complaint.
"Mr. Hebert?" she said. "My name is Lisa, I'm a friend of Taylor's—"
"Taylor? Is she okay? Do you know where she is?" I could hear Dad's panicked voice through the phone even without having it on speaker.
"Yes, she's fine, she's right here next to me. I'm handing her the phone now," she said, putting action to words.
"Hi Dad," I said quietly.
"Taylor!" he nearly shouted, and I winced at the volume. "Where are you? What happened? Why aren't you at home?" he asked urgently.
"I- something happened, and- I, um…" I trailed off, flailing for words.
Lisa came to my rescue, gently taking the phone back from my hand. "She's a bit overwhelmed at the moment, Mr. Hebert. And the situation is complicated and sensitive, and should be talked about face to face. I'll have her back home in about an hour, an hour and fifteen minutes at most, and she can explain things to you in person."
Lisa continued reassuring Dad for a short bit, which I started tuning out. I didn't know how I'd even start to explain anything to him, and he'd go ballistic at the number of times Kirby had snuck out of the house.
I saw Lisa snap her phone shut, and slowly focused back on the world. Waiting until she had my full attention, Lisa said, "I know I just told your dad that you'd explain things to him, but I only said that because it would make him accept things more quickly. I'll be right beside you, and I'll do most of the explaining. You just have to decide what we're telling him."
She paused for a moment, taking my hand and once more rubbing comforting circles on its back. She offered me my tea with her other hand, and I took a few grateful sips before handing it back to her. When had I put the mug down anyway?
That feeling of unreality—like this was some sort of dream—hit me again. Everything was just too strange. Here I was, in the theoretically secret lair of a group of small time supervillains, and… and one of them was being so
nice to me. She was acting like she actually cared. An
actual villain telling me they wanted to be my friend and offering to do all this stuff to try and make sure I'm okay. This couldn't be real, could it?
Before my mind had the chance to wander too far, Lisa continued. "I really think you should tell your dad that you're plural, and that you experience amnesia. I'm happy to help explain things to him. It's healthy for the person you're living with to know both of those things, and it will also enable you to adopt behaviors that can help you and Kirby mitigate the effects of your amnesia. For example, you and Kirby can keep a journal of basic events and important details of your day, and also leave notes for each other. Additionally, it will be very difficult to explain why you've been missing without telling him any of that."
She waited for me to respond, while I struggled not to panic. If I did that, would I have to explain Kirby to him? Would I have to tell him about having powers? What Kirby usually looks like, since they prefer our Changer form? What it means to be agender?
"How… how much would I have to tell him about Kirby if I did that?" I asked worriedly.
"A name would be helpful, but even that isn't technically required," Lisa replied. "Whether or not to tell him about your powers is the second question, but even if we don't, we can still say that your headmate, who has never fronted when your dad is around, went out in the middle of the night. And we'll figure out something for clothes so your dad doesn't wonder why you're in pajamas. We can tell him that Kirby has never fronted while you're around as far as you're aware, and that they didn't realize not to go out at night. Not the most convincing, but we could make it work, and it would allow you to leave notes up for Kirby asking them to stay in at night."
She interrupted herself briefly, asking, "Hold on, you said you spend time with Kirby in your dreams. Can you communicate clearly with them there? Or do they just respond to everything with 'Poyo'?"
I giggled, realizing what Lisa must have experienced last night. "They still only say 'Poyo'," I said, "but somehow, I'm able to understand exactly what they mean."
Lisa shook her head, smiling. "That's good. It will let you leave notes up for Kirby, and hopefully talk through things with them and reach an agreement on how to do things within the next few days.
"Now, the hard question: do you want to tell your dad about your powers? Obviously, you can't really let him see your Changer form without telling him, which means he can only meet Kirby if Kirby is okay being in your regular form. Which may or may not cause your dad to doubt Kirby's existence, and create its own set of problems.
"On the much less significant side of things, if you tell your dad about your powers, there won't be any problem with you staying in your pajamas to go home."
I giggled softly, grateful to Lisa for injecting some levity into the otherwise quite serious situation, before quieting and trying to make a choice. This pivotal decision would fully shape my immediate future, and I only had one chance to make it. The blonde girl seemed to be fairly on top of things, and everything she was saying and suggesting made sense on the surface. But why was she doing this? How could she possibly benefit from putting in so much care and effort on my behalf? It's not like I was anyone special.
I had one thing I wanted to ask Lisa about, but before I could, she interjected softly. "Can I give you a small piece of advice Taylor?" I gave her a small nod, and she continued. "I don't have a relationship with my parents. I ran away after they used me for my powers to make money. If your dad isn't exploiting or hurting you, and you want to have a good relationship with him, don't keep secrets this big from him. You'll have to lie over and over again, and it will tear your relationship apart."
"But…" I said, fear creeping into my voice. "But if I tell Dad about my powers, he's gonna want me to join the Wards. And I get enough teenage hell at school; I don't need more as a hero."
"I think I can help with that problem as well," said Lisa. "Firstly, you and Kirby are the most powerful cape in the world by a wide margin, so they're perfectly safe going out on their own. I have no doubt that they could no-sell an Endbringer in under five minutes. Secondly, it's not very well known, but Shadow Stalker goes out on a lot of unsanctioned patrols and still uses lethal ammunition on them. A month or two ago, she shot Grue in the stomach with a broadhead crossbow bolt while on such a patrol, and he would have died without prompt medical attention. With the combination of those two things, I think I can convince your dad both that you're safe staying solo, and that the Wards are not a healthy environment for you with such poor supervision. I can't guarantee anything, but I promise I will do my best. And if worse comes to worst, I can give you a place to stay. Either here, if you and the rest of the team are comfortable outing yourselves to each other, or at my apartment that I basically never use, since I live here. No obligations regardless."
"Why would you give me a place to stay? Why should I trust you? You're a villain, and I haven't even known you for an hour," I said, suspicion leaking into my voice and my eyes narrowing. "How do I know you're not trying to manipulate or take advantage of me?"
Lisa deflated a bit, looking sad. "To be honest, it's difficult for me to prove that. If you want to ascribe selfish motives to me, being friends with the strongest cape in the world can only be beneficial. On that note, trying to take advantage of you would be an outrageously ill-conceived idea—whatever I hoped to gain could not possibly be worth the risk of pissing you off. I do have a personal problem that your power could help with, but it's my problem, not yours. I will not ask for your or Kirby's help in solving it, or even tell you what it is, lest that manipulate you into trying to fix it of your own initiative.
"The best answer I can think of is that if I didn't want to help you, I wouldn't have explained plurality to you. I could have made up another explanation that suited me better, and that wouldn't be verifiable by you. I strongly recommend you research plurality either online or at the library to confirm what I've told you, and to learn more about it regardless.
"Fundamentally, it's hard to trust me; I'm a Thinker, and my specialty is manipulating people. I can't avoid that. All I can say is that if my goal is to trick or hurt you, it's a terrible idea, and you're absolutely able to protect yourself in such a situation."
We were silent for a solid fifteen minutes while I thought things over. "Okay," I finally squeaked out, "I'll trust you for now, since Kirby decided they could. And I'll tell my dad everything."
"I will do my best to live up to that trust," said Lisa, leaning over me and giving me a quick, firm hug before handing me back my tea. "You finish this up, and I'll go get you something for your feet." She gave my hand another squeeze and walked off down the hall. Despite having cooled down, the tea gave me some small comfort, and I was grateful for it. I steeled myself for what was to come. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I hoped Lisa was correct that I had made the right choice.
Author's notes:
Huge thanks once again to
@EnygmaSoul and
@Glen, my lovely beta readers.
We finally see Taylor's perspective. She
is the main character, so it's a bit odd it took this long, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
For more information about plurality, please visit
morethanone.info.
Updates/Edits:
- 2022-08-13: Changed wording, particularly in Lisa's dialogue, to remove conflation of Kirby and Changer form.
- 2022-08-13: Removed Lisa's informal diagnosis of DID. It has made some readers uncomfortable, and is also not the most appropriate thing for Lisa to do without Taylor asking her to. I do hope it's still clear from my characterisation that Taylor dissociates a lot though.
