Dragon quest v 2.0

[Manperor_32]

non-canon omake
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As you moved quickly down the halls of the tower of baradur you thought you heard something from your new "masters" room and went to check it out. Of course it wasn't that easy as the door was locked when you tried to open it but the thing is that the commotion was just getting louder as if someone was completely freaking out.

So in all of your greatness you used a side passage and went into a small vent. At the other end you saw Sauron without his armor on in his less intimidating form and what you saw shocked you to your core. Sauron the lord of the rings, destructor of numenor, and successor of morgoth was running around his room like a headless chicken with a broom and rag cleaning up every speck of dust while at the same time using magic to arrange everything to perfection. He talked a little different to.

"My god those filthy orcs touching my precious order with there filthy hands they even touched you my most prized position." As he said that he pulled out a bobble head version of morgoth.

Well that happened.

 

[RandomDwarf]

How To Train Your Dragon
(Mordor Edition)
​

Orc number 73652 was one of the few orcs allowed in the middle parts of the dark tower, heck only uruks were generally allowed here...then again being caught cleaning his stuff was probably why he was "promoted" on the spot to "Janitor" position. He wasn't sure what a "Janitor" was but it came about one day and the damn tower just wasn't the same anymore...

No more blood splatters, no more messy grog spills, no more manure piles, no more throwing prisoners off the damn ledges...it was frustrating for the orc's! (not him at least, he at least liked looking into his reflection in his arms and armor!) Then he heard a small noise, when he turned he froze like a helpless deer in the face of a starving Catagor pack.

The Dark Lords Personal Pet Dragon was sitting on a alcove...with one of their most prized vases in one of its bloody paws! Slowly and carefully the orc had to make a very difficult decision...confronting the little beast (then again the number of "Janitors" that this job went through in a week alone pointed that it was a very bad fucking idea to do so, the other orcs that survived this position merely laughed at him when he was "promoted"), or he turned around and ran like a bat out of a Graug cave.

...

There wasn't much of a choice was there? Alright...lets do this...

"Alright you little shit" the orc growled as he slowly and carefully approached while drawing one of his shivs and keeping the mop he had been using to clean the floors aimed at the beasty.

"Put down the damn bloody vase...slowly..." the orc hissed as the dragon seemed to contemplate it, before tipping the vase over more until it was JUUUUSTTT falling...with only a claw holding it from completely falling off the edge.

The Orcs heart had felt like it jumped up his throat, his rage slowly bleeding in as he tried to desperately think of a way around the whole thing.

"alright you beasty...how about err-a deal! Right a deal, you put the vase back where you found it...and then we go get some nice meaty treats, alright?" the orc did not beg...some bits of trying to bribe the beasty (he had heard rumors about those that begged) but the orc wasn't really looking forward to when it was meal-ti-

the dragon tilted his head and with a wide grin on his toothy mouth it spat fire into his EYES!!

"YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!" the orc roared as he swatted uselessly against the fire and then he heard it damn thing shriek and the vase crash on the ground! with a dozen black speech curses in his mouth he twirled around trying to find the damn thing, maybe if he caught the little shit he could finally point to what it was doing! Maybe even fucking retire from this damn position!

Then he heard a low dark and menacing chuckle...a VERY BAD chuckle if you were a orc...turning slowly the orc almost pissed himself when he saw the dark lord slowly petting the little shit(!) while treating it like a damn cat! (he knew what they looked like, ate one too...it was pretty bad.) Then the dark lord slowly turned to the vase, and then the orc...

All the while the little shit was grinning at him! (The fucker was MOCKING HIM!) then he really almost shat himself when the dark-lord spoke...

"That had been my favorite vase from 2348 years ago...now how shall I deal with one belegreint orc who couldn't BOTHER to look where he was cleaning and tried to hurt me poor little Eskilinth when he was obviously examining such a treasure?" the menacing tone which this was delivered with made him whimper softly as the dark lord gestured to its now visible ring-wraith servants.

"Take him away." was all the dark lord said as the orc screamed for mercy as he was dragged to the torture chambers below...and with a gesture the dark lord spoke a twisted spell to return the vase back to its position.

"You know Eskilinth, if I didn't know better I would say that the recent "evictions" of my orcs would be your doing...if not for the fact that I have been trying to finally get the right combination of orc to man to create the perfect hybrid for my research and armies...just cant trust the average orc with things can you?" the Dark Lord (lady) sighed as she petted the dragons scale in JUST the right position to get Eskilinth to purr just like how she wanted...of course she would never say that the her little one was easily helping with her stress levels.

After all a good fashion mental-torture sounded wonderful...and shelob needed feeding at cirith ungol before she decided to come on by again...

The last time she was here was bad enough! Sauron could not survive all the messy webs everywhere while that free-loader ate all her larders of her favorite meals! not to mention all the livestock as well! Damn freeloader...at least now she is serving a purpose in cirith ungol as its unofficial watcher...as long as the crazy spider-woman-thing didn't try to mess with her plans she was fine sending orcs and the occasional dark numenorian up there if they got uppity!

All the while the now named Eskilinth continued to plot and crackle in his head, now however he would need to troll another peon...

Plans within plans, all for the sake of insuring boredom doesn't become a thing!